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00:00Residents of Gypsy, stand by your testinators! Now is the time to sing! Sing! Sing!
00:11Highland of seals and sand, trees and shelves and hills and paper fences stream, a flood and nets and bars and bars and flowers, logs and snakes and deepened cars, with bagging hats and scoffs and pens and string and stench of green and lots of cars.
00:41Consumers and...
00:47Daily Greek. This address goes out to all 792 residents of our island that we doth calleth Gypsy.
00:58791, sir. Mrs Feek just died.
01:02I, Arbiter Maven, hereby announce the 129th Wedding Lottery by order of our noble leader, the Great Heath.
01:14The Great Heath.
01:15Gypsy Praising.
01:16Yeah, Gypsy Praising.
01:17Put the film on, Sparrow.
01:20It's Wedding Lottery time again on Gypsy. Place your belongings in the gender crates provided. Say goodbye to your current partner.
01:38Goodbye.
01:39Goodbye.
01:40On Wedding Lottery day, Mr Slightlyman, Master of Balls, will use the latest faceball technology to randomly select your new breed pair.
01:48Then it's off to your new chalet for the next three happy cycles.
01:54You know, Sparrow, forcing complete strangers to marry really is one of the island's finest traditions.
02:11Along with nose hurling, sir.
02:13Hooray!
02:14Oh, I forgot to mention. The Great Heath, Gypsy Praising.
02:20Praising.
02:21Thought it would be good for public relations if one of us got married.
02:24Oh, congratulations, sir. I'll get you a wedding present.
02:26Of course, being an arbiter. I'm immune from this marital bingo.
02:31You're not thinking about putting me in the wedding lottery, are you, sir?
02:34No, no, no, no, no, no.
02:35Not thinking.
02:36I already have.
02:37Don't look so shocked, Sparrow. You might end up with Miss Gypsy.
02:42She's quite a catch.
02:47Attention all residents.
02:49Due to an influx of electric owls across the island, residents are instructed not to leave their chalets after lights out.
02:57When startled, the owls emit a reflex action photocopy in either A4 or A5, depending on the age of the bird.
03:05At 6 and 3 gov clock last night, Mr. Breyo was nearly blinded when an electric owl clung to his head and photocopied his face repeatedly.
03:14If this happens to you, contact Jerry from Printy Printy, who will try to prise the creature off.
03:21Or at least change the cartridge.
03:24I'm trying to work.
03:29That's a carrot.
03:31I wonder who you'll end up with.
03:36What?
03:37In the wedding lottery.
03:39Oh.
03:40Cyril Hench, the accurate groper.
03:43Wet-nosed Pete.
03:45Dingly dangly Darren.
03:46Boral.
03:47When you speak, it's like words committing suicide.
03:51Thanks.
03:52There goes another one.
03:54Oh!
03:57Anyway, I know the man I want.
03:59He's got curly hair, a big nose, and claps twice when he enters a room.
04:06Isn't she wonderful?
04:08I could almost...
04:12a new version 4 tessellator.
04:15I'm going to wire one up in the wedding barn, so the island can watch you in full...
04:20medium definition.
04:22Move away.
04:23Splendid.
04:24Splendid.
04:26Oh, is the screen touch sensitive?
04:28No, I'm wiping your spit off.
04:32Sir, do I really have to get married?
04:35I'm used to my own little routine at home.
04:39Yes, it's decided.
04:42Here's your face ball.
04:46Right, let's just have a quick word with Mrs Godin.
04:49Yes, I've suffered from terrible wind all my life.
04:53I wouldn't mind, but every time it happens, it sounds remarkably like the first three notes of the Ginsy National Anthem.
05:03Really?
05:04Everybody in the room stands up and starts singing.
05:07Hang on.
05:09Yes.
05:10Mrs Godin, have you washed my ceremonial leotard?
05:16I think she must have done it on the wrong temperature, sir.
05:19No, it's perfect.
05:20What man would not be moved to tears to slip into this robe of office showing off his full credentials to the island?
05:29Hello, and welcome to Punishment Roundup for Tuesday 24th.
05:40First of all, Mr Couchet, chalet 156.
05:42At four and six gov clock, he did cut hedges at Truett Field and left brambles and messy cuttings in the lane.
05:51So that's not good.
05:53Punishment, suspension of dance vouchers for 23 nights.
05:56And a mild electrical.
05:57Fire.
05:58Fire.
05:59Fire.
06:00Fire.
06:01Fire.
06:02Fire.
06:03Fire.
06:04Fire.
06:05Fire.
06:06Fire.
06:07Fire.
06:08Fire.
06:09Fire.
06:10Fire.
06:11Fire.
06:12Fire.
06:13Fire.
06:14Fire.
06:15Fire.
06:16Fire.
06:17Fire.
06:18Fire.
06:19Fire.
06:20Fire.
06:21Fire.
06:22Fire.
06:23Fire.
06:24Fire.
06:25Fire.
06:26Fire.
06:27Fire.
06:28Fire.
06:29Fire.
06:30Fire.
06:31Fire.
06:32Fire.
06:33on. Daily greet? Oh, daily greet. Oh, it's a maven. I didn't recognize you. He looks so old. Look at
06:43the spider's done webs on your face. You should try Winkleman's Prink Parlour. Seriously, they do
06:49lip clips, de-freckles, re-freckles, nose benders, tummy tailors. They can reduce your jufas. Oh,
06:54look at that. See these eyelids? Yeah, these eyelids here. You see them? See? They're made
06:59from my earlobes. Seriously, if I close my eyes like this, I can't hear a thing. Can we
07:06just get on with the rehearsal? See that? Nothing. Shall we get on with the rehearsal? Now, this
07:12is the button you need to press. Dressing room's through here. Has this been sanitized? Spiral,
07:18remind me to bring my wipes. Julie, I'm waiting. Come on, old man.
07:29Ah, the swan of wedlock. Bring it in, bring it in. Right, let the old man through. Goodbye.
07:55What an awful person. Lovely skin, though. See ya. Goodbye. How's he made so much money?
08:10Bare-knuckle boxing.
08:15Oh, God, that hurts my throat. I'm glad you say that because no one ever mentions it.
08:19Even a little one hurts. What are you up to after lunch? Oh, I thought about going down to that
08:25corrugated roof over there and running along it. I really like the tippy, tippy, tippy noise. My feet,
08:30mate. Might do that. Not interested in a round of golf, then? No. No. I've never been good at golf.
08:37Oh, what's your handicap? Well, I haven't got any arms for a start.
08:41Ah, Mr. Maven. I brought the wedding paperwork up from the law caves for you to sign.
08:54Stay on the mat. You're dripping. How are things in the law caves, Trince?
08:58Pretty damp. My new desk is directly under a stalactite. It drips.
09:04I suppose you're looking forward to the lottery, Trince. Probably be pleased to get rid of your current
09:08wife. Show them the picture. She's a good cook. Couldn't you get the takeaways?
09:18Get back on the mat. Of course, one will never know the enforced intimacies of the marital lottery.
09:24I mean, it's a wonderful system. It's just a great shame arbiters can't take part. Trince,
09:30wasn't Arbiter Jenkins married? That rings a bell. Arbiter Jenkins. Hmm. I'll look into that.
09:38Sparky? Sparky? Sparky!
09:55Mr. Maven, you really do have a very full head of hair. Unfortunately, it's on my desk.
10:03I just need temporary tightening, really. Especially my cockerel shaker. Now, what I'm going to do,
10:11is I'm going to take a piece of your buttock, and I'm going to put it here. It's not part of the
10:15procedure. It's just for a bit of fun. I'll pop it back later. Do you want me to reduce your jufas?
10:22Um, yes, all right. Of course you do.
10:31And now, a quick look at recent deaths across the island in the singing obituaries with Fook and the girls.
10:38Yeah...
10:40Jeremy Chalk community.
10:42Jaramoli chalked on a green bean.
10:44onymous paral 씨가
10:44E 씨's peasy'oo
10:46essence
10:47Phicemidi
10:48trusting
10:48The
10:50ý
10:52publi
10:54ng
10:56e
10:58Daily greet, Sparrow.
11:08Daily greet, sir.
11:10I've just been...
11:10Look at...
11:11Ah!
11:11Your face!
11:13You're like a melted wolf.
11:15Just a bit smoother.
11:17You're done.
11:18Mr. Maven, I've been going through the...
11:21Your face!
11:22Did you fall in a fire?
11:24Stay on the map.
11:25You're dripping.
11:27Sparrow was right.
11:28Arbiter Jenkins was married.
11:30Only very old arbiters are immune from the lottery.
11:34But I am old!
11:35You don't look it, sir.
11:36So, there's no reason why you shouldn't be married.
11:40Oh, it's the great he, sir.
11:47Welcome to the wedding lottery.
11:49Are you shocked?
11:50I can't really tell.
11:52And now it's time for Sandy's Choice.
11:54A talent competition judged by a dog.
11:58Oh, I met her on a Wednesday, and I had my dog with me.
12:07As she sat down and chattered, well, it honed in on her knees.
12:12And it went licky-licky, licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky-licky on her knee.
12:22I met her on a Tuesday when my dog was feeling ill
12:28I tried to make it better but I gave it the wrong pill
12:34And it was sicky, sicky, sicky, sicky, sicky, sicky, sicky, sicky, sicky, sicky, sicky, sicky, sicky, sicky, sicky on her knee
12:41Repeatedly
12:44I didn't meet her threes day cause she said she couldn't come
12:49So I sat at home all evening and watched my doggy lick his
12:55And it went licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, all night long
13:05And it went licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, licky, all night long
13:14Get in your bed!
13:19Get off!
13:20It's really licking.
13:28Oh!
13:29Oh!
13:30Ha ha ha!
13:31Oh, thank you, son.
13:34Oh.
13:35Ah.
13:37Ponies and posies, ting-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-poo.
13:41Ponies and posies.
13:42Spore.
13:43This is terrible.
13:44Can you imagine me married?
13:47Yes, I can.
13:55All right.
13:56Stop.
13:57Enough.
13:58Go.
13:59You make me sick.
14:00Go.
14:01Mr Maven!
14:02Oh!
14:03I didn't recognise you.
14:04You look fantastic.
14:06Oh!
14:07Oh!
14:08Oh!
14:09Who did you?
14:10Was it Tony?
14:11Yes.
14:12Oh!
14:13Oh!
14:14Oh!
14:15Oh!
14:16Oh!
14:17Oh!
14:18Oh!
14:19Oh!
14:20Oh!
14:21Oh!
14:22Oh!
14:23Oh!
14:24Oh!
14:25Oh, you mean Maven!
14:26That's why he's put himself in the wedding lottery.
14:28So that he can be with me.
14:30Oh yeah!
14:31Ah, yeah. That's why he asked me to give you these.
14:35Really?
14:37And then he asked me to take them back again.
14:40And then to stroke you gently like this.
14:44Flowers in the face.
14:47I wonder what that means. It must be some kind of romantic code.
14:52It's so soft.
14:54OK, that's less romantic now.
14:57All right, Spiral, I get the message.
14:59Some of us have got work to do round here, you know.
15:04That's a cucumber.
15:08I know. It's my lunch.
15:18Yeah, thank you so much.
15:20OK.
15:20Right, fine.
15:29What's your name?
15:34Spiral.
15:34Who do you want to marry?
15:36Come on, I haven't got all day.
15:38What are you talking about?
15:39You give me money and I put you with who you want.
15:42Who do you want?
15:44Oh, right.
15:45Um...
15:46Susan Newt.
15:5120 hellers.
16:04Yes?
16:05Actually, can I arrange one for someone else as well?
16:08Name?
16:10Arbiter Maven.
16:10This is G.C.
16:19Element report for the 24th of Lull.
16:22Warnings of severe droop in Newell Parish.
16:25Waxing at 15 and 2 and waning at lights out.
16:27Bang, bang, bang.
16:28Possibility of dog shape.
16:29With puddle displacement and backsplash 3.
16:32We're not good for Mrs. Chinnaman's hatch day dance.
16:35Shame.
16:36A heavy front.
16:37Settling in for the night despite bad wind shapes.
16:38Blowny rough-ed brown lap for the wet meadow raking contest.
16:44Glove graph for the island shows fingerless fleecy with occasional hand rub.
16:49And blow through.
16:51Blanket thickness too with occasional sheets rising in the vest.
16:58Gentle males and lady fans.
17:00Welcome to the 129th wedding lottery.
17:06I'm Mr. Slightly Man, the master of balls.
17:13Bring on the swan of wedlock.
17:19Do the waves, Borrow.
17:20Wave.
17:22More smoke, Steve.
17:23And now, Arbiter Maven will read the Declaration of Wadlock.
17:33Stay back, you're tripping.
17:35Sorry.
17:35Sorry.
17:36I, Arbiter Maven, as representative of the people of Jitsi,
17:43do promise the great he, Jitsi praises,
17:46that we will abide by the results of this honest, just, and completely random lottery.
17:56Get off.
17:57Will you press the button and release the faceboards, please?
18:02Wipes.
18:03Wipes.
18:04Spiral the wipes.
18:05I haven't got any wipes.
18:06Well, do the arm, then.
18:08Push the button.
18:09Push it.
18:11And our first couple tonight is...
18:16June's Speak.
18:20And...
18:23De Vivid Flute.
18:26They won't get on.
18:27He drinks like a fish.
18:28And our second couple tonight is...
18:36Daggerid Ugershot.
18:39And...
18:40Mel Nibok.
18:44He bats for the other team.
18:45What?
18:46Sportsman.
18:47Did they do your Jufas?
18:49Shh.
18:49Yes.
18:49The left one's still a bit big, actually.
18:51What?
18:51Yeah.
18:52Lely Ka Ush with Mr. Flare.
18:56Lemula Tween with Hawke Once.
19:00Demp Nechel Collington with Bon Bon Begar.
19:04Mr. Sloot with Little Jenny.
19:07Limpy Hudson with Jellica Leg.
19:10Merk Pibbutt and Guggeny Veth.
19:13Tanya Kip with The Tramp from The Pier.
19:18And the 189th couple,
19:21who will share their marital bed
19:23for the next three cycles is...
19:27Arbiter Maven.
19:37Looks like a melted wolf.
19:39With?
19:40With?
19:40With?
19:41With?
19:41Miss Jintzy.
19:57Arbiter!
20:01Arbiter!
20:02Arbiter!
20:03Give me a kiss!
20:04Well, does our ceremony reach at the halfway point?
20:09I will now ask Arbiter Maven
20:12to slip into his ceremonial leotard
20:15and make the wedding feast.
20:20Pummies and pumpkins,
20:21tinga, tinga, tinga, tinga, tinga, tinga.
20:23Oh, woman!
20:24Pummies and pumpkins,
20:26tinga, tinga, tinga, tinga, tinga, tinga, tinga.
20:27Oh!
20:28Oh!
20:29Oh!
20:29Oh!
20:29Oh!
20:30Oh!
20:30Oh!
20:31My leotard!
20:32Oh!
20:33Oh!
20:34Oh!
20:35What's all this money?
20:37Get her off, me.
20:38Get her off!
20:39Oh!
20:40Oh!
20:40Oh!
20:41Oh!
20:41Oh!
20:42Oh!
20:43Oh!
20:44Quick!
20:45Swarrel!
20:46The swan!
20:47Oh!
20:48Oh!
20:49Oh!
20:50Come on!
20:51Oh!
20:52Oh!
20:53Can't this thing go any faster?
20:55Come on faster.
20:56Oh!
20:57Oh!
20:58Oh!
20:59Go on.
21:00Go get it!
21:02Oh!
21:03Oh!
21:04Oh!
21:05Oh!
21:06Oh!
21:07Go on.
21:08Go get it!
21:10Yeah!
21:11Come on!
21:12Oh!
21:13Oh!
21:14Oh!
21:15Oh!
21:16Oh!
21:17Oh!
21:18Oh!
21:19Oh, well there!
21:20Oh!
21:21Ah!
21:22Oh!
21:24It's a nice day!
21:26A nice day, except for the raining
21:32It's a lovely day, except for the rain
21:39Whippity back out!
21:48Just think, Mr Slightlyman and his little friend have been rigging the lottery all this time.
21:53Still, the punishment booths at Rindles Point should sort them out.
21:56It's a shame the lottery was cancelled, sir.
21:58I think you and Miss Ginsey would have made a smashing couple.
22:01Don't be ridiculous!
22:02She's one of the most hideous women I've ever laid eyes on!
22:06How am I going to get rid of her?
22:08Just tell her you're not married, sir.
22:10We're not married, dear!
22:23Get ready, sir!
22:25She's quite a catch!
22:31Oh, fair diddly well, my Ginsey-o
22:34Will see thee on the morn
22:37I strum my six-string angle bar
22:40I blow my withered horn
22:43Oh, I met her on a Wednesday
22:58And I had my dog with me
23:01As she sat down and chattered
23:04Well, it honed in on her knee
23:09And it went leeky-leeky-leeky-leeky-leeky-leeky-leeky-leeky-leest
23:12On her knee
23:14On her knee