Letterkenny Season 1 Episode 5 Rave
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00:00A bit of fuss down at the church the other day.
00:07Glenn?
00:08Wayne.
00:08How are you now?
00:10Good and you?
00:11Oh, not so bad.
00:12Ooh, look what she brought with you.
00:14Hello, Daryl.
00:15Oh, fuck.
00:18Fuck.
00:18You're naked as a jaybird.
00:20Wayne, it's humid.
00:22It's the humidity.
00:23Y'all might want to think about doing the same thing.
00:25Just pop your pants right off.
00:27That way no one gets sticky.
00:29No, it's not so bad.
00:31What's the fuss?
00:32Well, my old Dale mentioned something about you helping her get a squirrel out of her attic.
00:36I'm faced with a similar conundrum right over there.
00:40Seems like some kind of rodent's made his home over there.
00:43I have not seen him, but I sure can smell him.
00:57It's a possum.
00:58Possum.
00:59That's right.
01:00Oh, pitter-patter.
01:01Let's get at her.
01:02Do you want to know what?
01:03I'd reach into a pirate hooker's chamber pot before I'd reach in there, and I'm going to tell you.
01:07Possums are immune to snake venom.
01:09They could probably survive a nuclear blast.
01:12I think it's pronounced nuclear.
01:13But it isn't.
01:15They're mutants.
01:17They have forked fucking penises.
01:19We should all be so lucky.
01:21They do this thing called playing possum where they appear dead and emit a death stink from their buttholes.
01:26Fucked.
01:27Found one playing possum one time, thought it was dead, and buried it.
01:30Dug itself out a few hours later and fucked a hen right in front of her chicks.
01:34Wayne, think about the swear jar.
01:37You're putting so much money in.
01:38All right, let me take Peeksy.
01:40Pitter-patter.
01:41Always had a skilled hand at wrangling vermin.
01:44Thank you, Daryl.
01:45And that doesn't surprise me.
01:47No sweat?
01:47No sweat in this heat.
01:51That is rich.
01:52That's funny.
01:54Honestly, though, just take off your jumper.
01:57I'll hold it for you.
01:59You crawl up in there, no one gets...
02:01Glenn?
02:01Dirty.
02:02Glenn?
02:02Yes?
02:03Let's take about 20% off her up there, all right?
02:05All right.
02:17Now, you want to have an eye because I come out meaner and spit and go like a hot dam.
02:22Is he likely to bite?
02:23Is the duck's ass water tight?
02:25Get ready to give him the size nines if he jukes by me.
02:27I'll be able to give him the size 12 and a halfs instead.
02:33Oh, I see him.
02:34That's some drunk evolution right there, bud.
02:36You gotta wonder what two Christ-made miscreants made him to make that.
02:40It's almost not worth thinking about.
02:42Can I just reach for him?
02:43That's a better idea.
02:44I'm going in head first.
02:45Put him where?
02:46Under my boot.
02:46Boys, just do your best not to make too big a mess, all right?
02:50And I am sorry again about all this hate.
02:55Wahoo!
02:56For fuck's sake.
02:59Ow.
03:01You wish there was a pied piper for possums, but there isn't, so you're going to have to
03:05just keep picking them off the 22.
03:07Buckle up, because they're fucking ugly.
03:12Of course, that's not to say I have it all in my damn self.
03:16Is that a herpy on your hand, Darryl?
03:34Did you pay a little extra to go all the way with the ripper in the back room again?
03:40No, I don't think you'd make that mistake twice.
03:43A little trouser trauma?
03:45Was she fun, or was she fungal?
03:48Hey, guess what?
03:49Guy's girlfriend's having a hard time parking the car, right?
03:52He says you should get tested.
03:54She says, well, no, I'm not Savannah driving.
03:56He says, no, I have chlamydia.
03:58Is that a bite?
03:59Guy takes a hooker out for supper.
04:01He gave her his peas, she gave him her peas.
04:05Darryl, what happened?
04:07Did something bite you?
04:08A possum.
04:09A possum?
04:10That's right.
04:11Well, you could have rabies.
04:12Who fucking is?
04:13No, rabies is serious.
04:15It attacks the central nervous system.
04:21He gets puked through the floorboards.
04:24It ain't coming out.
04:25Well, I can't take him to the clinic.
04:27I got to do a nice run for the jamboree this week.
04:30Christ.
04:31Well, Darryl, we're going to have to take your van.
04:33Oh, yeah?
04:34Where's your nutsack boyfriends today, Katie?
04:37They're at an away game against the natives.
04:40Oh, well, I bet they're looking forward to playing those tough pricks.
04:44Christ.
04:49Sure you ready to saddle up at the jamboree again?
04:51I mean, it's kind of you and Angie's thing.
04:53Well, no sense sitting on my hands.
04:55It's time to find new dance partner.
04:57All right, Darryl.
04:58Better.
05:12Hey, why are crabs always so tired?
05:16It's because they only sleep in snatches.
05:18Hey, wait a minute.
05:26We're missing two schmelts.
05:29Where's Deetzee and Bernzee?
05:31Looks like a bad case of the native flu, bro.
05:34What's the native flu?
05:36You're an idiot.
05:37The natives are tough as hell.
05:39So another way to say someone is chicken shit to play them is to say they have the native flu.
05:44Mix in a fucking clue, potato chip.
05:46Keep those fucking bags up, schmelt.
06:01Wayne?
06:02Bonnie, how are you now?
06:03Good, and you?
06:04Not so bad.
06:06This isn't all for you, is it?
06:07It sure is.
06:08Is it for the jamboree?
06:09All if you ever get it there.
06:11Save me a dance?
06:12Yep, sure.
06:14I've always wanted to dance with you, Wayne.
06:16Oh, yeah?
06:17We've all been watching you and Angie dance for so long, thinking when's it going to be our turns?
06:21Oh, yeah?
06:22But trust me, watching was enough.
06:24You used to move her body around like it didn't weigh a feather.
06:27Well, you know, I think I've got about a baker's dozen here.
06:29I guess we could just scan them, and then I'll get out of your hair.
06:32Oh, yeah, I'll scan them.
06:33Okay.
06:33It's broken.
06:38It'll be our little secret.
06:49Okay, let's sit down.
06:54Oh.
06:59Stuart?
07:01Katie?
07:02You look grisly.
07:04You look beautiful.
07:08I can't quite see you right now.
07:11What's wrong with you, Matt?
07:14I don't know what you're talking about.
07:20You're not a teenager anymore.
07:22It's not charming.
07:25I used to charm you.
07:28Wrong takeaway.
07:29You know, you're not a fucking idiot.
07:33You could turn it around if you wanted to.
07:37You know, I remember sneaking into your parties when I was 15.
07:41Stealing your mixtapes.
07:44All your own music.
07:45I was really impressed.
07:49I guess those days are over, though.
08:00All right.
08:01All right.
08:02Let's go.
08:04All right.
08:04And, yeah, you did used to charm me.
08:22Murray, how are you now?
08:23Not so bad.
08:24And you?
08:24Not so bad.
08:25I see you back in the jamboree now.
08:28A few weeks out there.
08:29How do you notice?
08:30Well, it's hard nothing on saw that Scottish chart and plaid.
08:32You seem to enjoy so much.
08:35I want to talk to you about something important.
08:37Okay.
08:38My sister Bonnie's back from college.
08:39And she's a damn fine woman.
08:43Oh, yeah.
08:43I just seen her down at the dollar store there.
08:45I ain't sure it was her.
08:47I mean, last time I seen her, she was in kind of a DIY maxi dress.
08:51But you might have switched that up with a crochet pattern sweater on account of the breeze.
08:55And maybe autumn foliage or algonquin green.
09:00Okay.
09:01I think she'd be a damn fine match for you, Wayne.
09:04That's where you're ready.
09:06You know, because of Angie, you know.
09:07She's a lovely girl.
09:08Oh, whatever.
09:15Well, if you were, you can, you can start it, so you might finish it.
09:21Oh, it's just, you know, say the space looks, looks nice and clean.
09:25We've had to.
09:26Well, it's running, running, running pretty good.
09:29Yeah.
09:30Well, all right.
09:31Yeah.
09:31All right.
09:32Hey, let's carry on.
09:33It's a good box of ice.
09:34Yeah, good to see you.
09:35Have a good one, Hayes.
09:36Yeah.
09:38Hey, wait.
09:40You save her a dance now, eh, big boy?
09:43Good enough, McMurray.
09:45Atta boy.
09:46Does that taste right?
09:50No.
09:51Okay.
09:53Mm.
09:57Shit.
09:59I think so.
10:00I don't, I don't know.
10:02I've had an epiphany.
10:04Uh, can you taste this?
10:06No.
10:08Never again.
10:08Okay, okay, okay, okay.
10:10Then can you snort it?
10:11No.
10:11I've given up on the math business.
10:14I'm going back to the turntables.
10:18Hmm?
10:19Back to the ones and twos.
10:21For what?
10:23To become a superstar DJ.
10:26Oh, okay.
10:29Okay.
10:30Uh, but first, can you, can you, let's just try.
10:33No.
10:35I need you guys to tell everyone you know that I'm hosting a wave of letter Kenny, and I
10:41will be spinning under all of my aliases.
10:43I mean, how many aliases have you had?
10:46DJ Pimpy Longstockings, DJ Peter Blumpkin, DJ White Power Map, DJ White Power Bottom, they'll
10:53all be there.
10:54All of them.
10:55Hmm.
10:56Okay, so you're quitting the math business.
10:59I've quit the math business.
11:02But Menergy Spa is still like a thing, though, right?
11:09Well, how are you going to get people to come?
11:11I'll post it on my fucking Facebook, and you guys will post it on your fucking Facebooks!
11:33Wayne?
11:34Christ, Katie, put some fucking clothes on.
11:37Not my forte.
11:39Unfortunate.
11:41What are you doing?
11:43Well, I think it's pretty obvious that I'm moving hay bales from here over to here.
11:49Although that one's a straw bale.
11:52Why?
11:57Well, pick up your fucking phone.
11:59McMurray's been trying to reach you all day.
12:05McMurray!
12:06He's with you yesterday.
12:07How are you now?
12:08Not so bad, Newt.
12:09Not so bad.
12:10Listen, Wayne, they've got to cancel the jamboree here.
12:12Egg hall's been booked up.
12:14For the whole week?
12:15Yes, sir.
12:16That's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
12:19And yes, what else?
12:20Sunday.
12:21What for?
12:22Ah, Stuart.
12:23It's throwing a rave.
12:25I don't know.
12:25It says it needs time to set up or something like that.
12:27Said something about a low-stick Segway saunter across the Rainbow Road level of Mario Kart
12:32Nintendo 64, I don't know what the fuck.
12:34And you greenlit that tomfuckery?
12:37Had to.
12:38Agricultural halls low on funds.
12:41All day bookings is a big boost for us.
12:43Some couldn't say no.
12:44Agricultural halls are for agricultural music, not for fucking raves.
12:49Well, that's no way to get your communication badge, Boy Scout.
12:57Derry.
12:58Wayne, clinic, pick up, not feel good.
13:03Well, he's not going to get his communication badge either.
13:06Derry, what's the fuss?
13:20Good and you?
13:22Where are you going?
13:24I don't know where I am.
13:26Oh, look at your hand.
13:27What's the fuss?
13:30Think I have rabies.
13:31I'll boo fucking hoo, big shootsy woodsy.
13:34What's up, you want to know what?
13:36What's that?
13:38Having that possum was kind of a thrill.
13:41I think I could start a pest removal business.
13:44Oh, Daryl, that's just silly.
13:48What's up, do you want to know what?
13:50I'm going to help you.
13:51You know Stewart's having a rave at the ag hall?
13:53Agricultural halls for agricultural music.
13:55Not for fucking raves.
13:57That's what I said.
13:58So here's what we're going to do and I'm going to tell you.
14:00We're going to wrangle as many of those critters as possible
14:03and let them loose at Stewart's rave.
14:05How do you get the word out about the business?
14:07Oh, you'd have to put it on your fucking Facebook, likely.
14:11I'll run out.
14:12Look at this bowl of fruit salad.
14:34You want a taste, Dennis?
14:36Better watch that bark there, boy.
14:37I might get bit.
14:38What's going on here?
14:42Looking a handful of short?
14:44Got a bad case of the native flu or what?
14:46You're drunk.
14:47It's in a water.
14:48Well, it's either that or they're all tweaking down
14:50that meth town you come from.
14:52What did you say?
14:53Everyone knows Leonard Kennedy's gone to meth.
14:55You guys are a bunch of fucking basics.
14:57At least we keep it clean.
14:58We just sell cigarettes.
14:59Your town ain't nothing but a bunch of jacked up scab pickers.
15:03We'll see what you're calling us after I bury a couple of bar down wristers.
15:08Half clapper, top cheddar.
15:09Biscuits, top titties, bar down skis.
15:12Always bar down ski.
15:13Pull out the guns.
15:15Safety's off.
15:16Fucking safety off, boys.
15:18Little three on one ski.
15:19Little three on two ski.
15:20I'm a high hard one.
15:21Hit the red light this trip.
15:23You won't make it that far, slugger.
15:25You mean a champ?
15:26Fuck it's off.
15:27Center nice.
15:27Fuck drop.
15:28Shed him.
15:28Go me.
15:29Little fuck me, fuck you.
15:31Pretty nose jobs.
15:32Let's dance.
15:33Let's hit the D4.
15:34My balls bang are hotter than you, boy.
15:37Oh, like I thought.
15:42Bad case of the native flu.
15:51Devin, we're missing $2,000.
15:54Really?
15:54It's a devastating blow to Menergy's bar, I know.
15:57Okay, I'll call Stuart.
15:59Stuart thinks everything is so amazing.
16:05Hello?
16:06Stuart.
16:08Hey, Devin.
16:09Hey, we're missing 2K?
16:11Yeah, I took him for the rave.
16:152K?
16:16I don't think you understand.
16:19It's going to be a massive production.
16:22It's going to be like an Aurora Borealis-themed Salvador Dali drug orgy for shamans.
16:34But that's a lot of money.
16:37No time.
16:37I've got to go.
16:47Wayne?
16:48Daryl?
16:49Daryl, how are you now?
16:50I'm on a juice cleanse.
16:52Haven't had a drink in 3 days.
16:54Close to 30 shits, though.
16:55So what's the fuss?
16:57Well, timing's right for your new business.
16:59Saw it up on your fucking Facebook there.
17:01Got a skunk sleeping underneath us right now.
17:04Would you not know skunks are immune to bee stings?
17:07They even teach their babies how to raid beehives.
17:10And then?
17:11Well, they burrow up for the winter and rip farts on each other to keep warm.
17:15No way.
17:15Oh, yeah.
17:17They go to maid as soon as they leave their mums.
17:19You know they're probably thinking about her during sex.
17:23That or their brothers and sisters, which is even more inappropriate.
17:27Oh, there's one knocking.
17:30Make wait.
17:36Well, bitter powder.
17:40Can you take this one, please?
17:42Here's the deal.
17:46Stewart's rave is eating up all our money.
17:50And the business is failing without his expertise.
17:54We simply aren't making enough coins selling the native cigarettes.
17:58We need the meth.
18:00I don't know if this spa's never gonna happen at this rate.
18:02I officially move to boycott Stewart's rave.
18:06Take it off our fucking Facebooks.
18:09And sabotage it.
18:11All in favor, say,
18:12I.
18:14I.
18:16It's unanimous.
18:19How are we gonna do this?
18:21We could put something on our Facebooks.
18:24We could say the alcohol is asbestos.
18:26Yes.
18:27Asbestos.
18:28Everybody hates asbestos.
18:30Asbestos is the answer.
18:32Okay.
18:34Let's do that.
18:36Maybe you don't say asbestos anymore, though.
18:40Okay.
18:41Okay.
18:41Hey, Katie.
18:56You look, uh, beautiful.
18:59You look...
19:00better.
19:01Um, I've come to cordially invite you to my rave tonight.
19:14Stewart!
19:16Fucking greasiest skit I ever seen.
19:18Chris Angel, mind-freak-looking motherfucker.
19:20What are you thinking of holding a rave at the Ag Hall?
19:22I'm thinking I'm doing the Agricultural Society a huge favor.
19:26You guys are going broke.
19:27Tits up or not, it's inappropriate.
19:30Why not the Legion?
19:31Or even upstairs at the arena?
19:33Or the fucking youth center?
19:34Because they're too small, Sir Tucker!
19:36Be prepared.
19:39Because once this blows up, they'll probably ask me to do it quarterly.
19:43Bi-weekly.
19:44Mm-hmm.
19:45Mm-hmm.
19:46We'll see if it blows up, then.
19:49It'll probably be pretty tough to find me through the crowd.
19:53Stage security will be pretty tight.
19:55But, uh, your name's on the guest list, and, uh, there's a backstage pass with your name on it.
20:01I'll do my best to make it down, Stewart.
20:03My ass.
20:04And, uh, just a heads up, it is a rave.
20:07So there will probably be people on drugs.
20:11You know, MDMA.
20:13What?
20:14There's gonna be MDMA at the Ag Hall?
20:16Yes, there will be MDMA in my rave at the Ag Hall.
20:19There will be MDMA, DMT, PCP, LSD, LED, and probably UFC.
20:25But, uh, I'm clean and sober.
20:34You are spare parts, aren't you, bud?
20:38I truly hope to see you there.
20:46Watch your fucking hands, Skid.
20:50Three, two...
20:52Wait, wait, wait.
20:54That way, it's crazy.
20:58Bradley.
21:00But I miss you, darling.
21:03I've been everything.
21:06You're screaming at me.
21:08You're dumb and stupid.
21:11Fucking Skid's are turning a letter canning to a gong show, buddy.
21:15Fucking gonger, buddy.
21:16I'm rattled about that meth trip, bro, team.
21:20Fucking Stewart.
21:22Fucking Stewart, bro.
21:25That's fucking two in that putt, hey, boys?
21:28Put him away like a winter coat, boys.
21:35What the fuck was that?
21:36That was garbage.
21:40That was fucking pedestrian.
21:43All this beacon is kiddie pool shit.
21:47Is that what you want, Riley?
21:50Jonesy?
21:51Huh?
21:52You want to get dropped off at the splash pad on the way home?
21:55Hey?
21:56Get your mom and dad to pick you up after your little swim?
21:59Don't run out of the deck, you fucking pheasants.
22:02Fuck!
22:05Bankskate tomorrow, 6 a.m.
22:10It's fucking embarrassing!
22:14Hey, give your balls a tug, you tent fucker!
22:16Jonesy, fuck!
22:31You never looked so good.
22:35You never felt so good.
22:41I'm so proud of you, man.
22:49You are not nothing, man!
22:50You never felt so good.
23:12I'm so proud of you.
23:15You never felt so good.
23:16I'm so proud of you, man.
23:17Let's go.
23:47Save me a dance, Wayne.
23:53It's time to do it.
23:55You look better.
24:17Where's Stuart, buddy?
24:20Where is he, bro?
24:21Brave's canceled.
24:22Go home.
24:23Bullshit, buddy.
24:24That's not what the poster says, buddy.
24:26I said it's fucking canceled.
24:28Now quit your hollering before I get cross.
24:32Hey.
24:32When you give a warning, he don't repeat it.
24:37Yeah.
24:39Seven of us and two of you.
24:41That's a good time for Donnybrook, boys.
24:43Tilly time, boys.
24:44What the fuck are you pheasants doing out here?
24:48It's ten minutes to curfew.
24:50You think you can dog fuck all night and then dance?
24:54Dog fucking means no dancing.
24:57Get home.
24:58It's fucking embarrassing.
25:00Well, pitter-patter.
25:08This isn't over.
25:09Jinx, you owe me a coat.
25:10Christ.
25:27McMurray!
25:28Wayne, I've been told the rave was a bust.
25:32Something was about an asbestos scare or something.
25:34No one showed up.
25:36Sister Barney, though, she's still in there.
25:38About that dancer receiver.
25:40She's, uh, being sort of a golden poppy progressive onesie.
25:44Either way, you know, get in there, pal.
25:47Give her the guts.
25:49Kay.
25:50Bang the very guts right out of her.
25:52Kay.
25:53Just have at her, buddy.
25:56A nutsack.
26:02Alley-o.
26:10A nutack.
26:15A nutack.
26:18A nutack.
26:20A nutack.
26:20A nutack.
26:23I'm a big também.
26:25I'm a big também.
26:26This, my, this, my dude, I want.
26:29n'tくand
26:29I'm a big auch.
26:31I'm a big agree.
26:32I'm a big agree.
26:34This, my, this, my dude, I want.
26:36This is a grotesquerie.
26:49It's...
26:51off.
26:53We are going to make Letterkenny
26:56the biggest Met town in the whole country.
27:01I love Skrrr!
27:06Woo!
27:36I love Skrrr!
27:38I love Skrrr!
27:40I love Skrrr!
27:42I love Skrrr!
27:44I love Skrrr!
27:46I love Skrrr!
27:48I love Skrrr!
27:50I love Skrrr!
27:52I love Skrrr!
27:54I love Skrrr!
27:56I love Skrrr!
27:58I love Skrrr!