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00:02:40That's all today, Ignat.
00:02:44Are you okay today, Mr. Miller?
00:02:46Well, fair.
00:02:48But where's that pie?
00:02:50Well, you see, Ma wasn't home yesterday.
00:02:53But I'll bring it for you tomorrow.
00:02:55Honest, I will.
00:02:56Okay, I'll give you one more chance.
00:02:58But remember, no pie, no driving the truck.
00:03:02Okay, Mr. Miller.
00:03:04And if it's mince pie, I'll let you work twice as hard.
00:04:28I'm the inventor of canned applause.
00:04:29One of these days I'm going to collect those.
00:04:41Oh, he's always like this gasoline fellow.
00:04:43He's funny.
00:04:44I'll tell you what I'll do.
00:04:49I'll bet you two bits I can give you the answer to all this crap.
00:04:53It's a mess.
00:04:55You better sit down, because this one's gonna kill you!
00:05:00You know who was the first bookkeeper in history?
00:05:03Now wait a minute, Chief. Don't rush me.
00:05:06That's easy. David was the first bookkeeper because he knocked Goliath off his balance.
00:05:10I give up, Chief.
00:05:12Who was the first bookkeeper?
00:05:14Oh, this is so silly!
00:05:17Eve! Because he invented the real free system!
00:05:20Double cross.
00:05:30Hey, how's about opening that bag?
00:05:40I happen to know there's a very special package in there for the biggest shot in town.
00:05:45Yeah? Who's that?
00:05:47Joe Miller, burlap's gift to the etherways.
00:05:50And you like yourself, don't you?
00:05:52Like myself?
00:05:53Say, listen, Pop.
00:05:54If there were two of me, I'd put one of me on a platform and cheer them all day long.
00:06:01Three today.
00:06:03This is, you're taken out.
00:06:04Yeah, but the stamps are still taking an awful liking.
00:06:07Say, something ought to be done about you.
00:06:09Oh, yeah?
00:06:10Now listen, if Ed Wynn pulled that crack, you'd say it was funny.
00:06:14One of these days, forty million people will be laughing at my cracks.
00:06:18Now when I get on the air, I'm...
00:06:20You mean when you get the air.
00:06:22There's your special.
00:06:28Oh, boy.
00:06:29Look at that, Pop.
00:06:31Look.
00:06:32A genuine sparkler.
00:06:34For a dollar down, I dollar up.
00:06:38Hey, I'm just full of cracks today.
00:06:41So is that diamond.
00:06:43Who's it for?
00:06:46Amy Witherspoon.
00:06:48I'm gonna propose to her tonight.
00:06:50At her birthday party.
00:06:51You couldn't support a wife.
00:06:53Is that so?
00:06:55When I start broadcasting, she'll be round-shouldered from wearing jewels.
00:06:59I have your own way about it.
00:07:02On the level, Pop.
00:07:03Don't you think I'd make a swell master of ceremonies?
00:07:08Will you?
00:07:10I think you're great.
00:07:12But don't go by me.
00:07:14I even like spinning.
00:07:20Hello, my lucky public.
00:07:22This is your favorite radio announcer, Joe Miller.
00:07:25Broadcasting on a special rave length over a coast-to-coast hiccup.
00:07:29Have you ever considered how careful we are in picking our clothes, our friends, our autos?
00:07:39But how careless we are about picking our teeth?
00:07:43Use skidless toothpicks twice a year.
00:07:45See your dentist twice a day.
00:07:47And now, folks, you will hear the tantalizing tattle of Joe Miller, the Bo Peep of Main Street, Burlap's greatest transom translator.
00:08:00It's been rumored along the main stem that a certain young lady, celebrating her birthday this evening, and a certain handsome young blade are sizzling.
00:08:11The young man has been solitaire shopping, and their friends can start collecting orange blossoms.
00:08:18He means us.
00:08:21The young man hasn't popped the question yet.
00:08:24But your announcer is taking this means of preparing the young lady for the pleasant shop.
00:08:29Burlap is threatened with a storm of rice and old shoes.
00:08:31This is Joe Miller, the man with a thousand eyes, signing off to be on the air again as soon as it's fumigated.
00:08:40Well, I'm glad to see somebody appreciates a good program.
00:09:04What, sir?
00:09:06I was just, uh...
00:09:11I'm glad they all went out.
00:09:14Now we can listen to the radio program.
00:09:16Don't break the hookup. The connection is fine.
00:09:21Where's Amy?
00:09:22I think she's in the guard.
00:09:24Thanks.
00:09:25Of course, Caleb. I'm crazy about you.
00:09:29I never would have gotten up the courage to ask you, Amy.
00:09:31Unless Joe Miller tipped off just what I had in mind.
00:09:34Why, there, Joe.
00:09:35Joe, I've just got a good time out here.
00:09:36Don't break the hookup.
00:09:37In the conversation, eh?
00:09:39Don't break the hookup.
00:09:40Don't break the hookup.
00:09:41The connection is fine.
00:09:42Where's Amy?
00:09:43I think she's in the guard.
00:09:44Thanks.
00:09:46Of course, Caleb.
00:09:47I'm crazy about you.
00:09:50I never would have gotten up the courage to ask you, Amy.
00:09:54Unless Joe Miller tipped off just what I had in mind.
00:09:58Why, there's Joe.
00:09:59Joe, I've just got to show you what you did for us.
00:10:03Yeah, I'm always doing nice things like that.
00:10:06Let's go into the house and tell everybody.
00:10:08Oh, no.
00:10:10No, I've got to get down to the station to meet number 11.
00:10:24Well, I see she accepted you.
00:10:43Oh, yeah?
00:10:44Sure.
00:10:45I've never seen a hangdog look like that on any single man.
00:10:49Well, I never even asked her.
00:10:54What do you think of that?
00:10:55From now on, I'm devoting all of my thoughts to my career.
00:11:00Well, you don't have to do much thinking.
00:11:03Speaking of your career, you better wrestle that baggage on the truck number 11 to do here in five minutes.
00:11:17There you go again.
00:11:18Now, what are you doing?
00:11:19I told you, I'm collecting applause.
00:11:22From now on, that's all I'm going to work for.
00:11:24Because when they applaud you, they've got to pay you.
00:11:27Woo-hoo!
00:11:32Woo-hoo!
00:11:32Woo-hoo!
00:11:33Woo-hoo!
00:11:33Woo-hoo!
00:11:33There are those rails and longer you'll have a one-track mind.
00:12:03I know, darling.
00:12:05Oh, Janet.
00:12:06Suppose the show did lay an egg.
00:12:09There are other shows, and we're heading back to New York where they put them on.
00:12:13But when I think of having to start all over again...
00:12:17I know how you feel, kid.
00:12:20Plugging along in the chorus for a couple of years, getting a break, then having it sour on you.
00:12:27But there'll be other breaks.
00:12:30Better come in and get some sleep.
00:12:31I'll be in after one.
00:12:33I'll be in after one.
00:14:33Is that number 11?
00:14:39I don't know.
00:14:40I didn't look at the number.
00:14:41Well, aren't you attached to the station?
00:14:43Well, I work in it, but I could never become attached to it.
00:14:47What time does the Philadelphia Limited arrive?
00:14:49Only half the time.
00:14:50The other half it spends departing.
00:14:51Do I know the answers or do I?
00:14:53Well, you clearly know the answer, though, right?
00:14:55How long have you been connected with the railroad?
00:15:00So long.
00:15:01At least we agree on that.
00:15:03Young man, you're fired.
00:15:05Try and think up an answer to that.
00:15:06The telegram just came in to hold number 11 for Mr. Morton.
00:15:19He's the president of the road.
00:15:20What'll I do?
00:15:22Well, I wouldn't worry about that, Pop.
00:15:26Morton just drove away.
00:15:27I had quite a little chat with him.
00:15:31You didn't.
00:15:32Oh, didn't I?
00:15:34Take a look at that.
00:15:37Gee, you will agree.
00:15:39What'd he say?
00:15:40Well, we discussed a little change that might improve the service.
00:15:46One thing about you, Joe, you always did get attention.
00:15:50Yeah.
00:15:52I got plenty of attention from him, all right.
00:15:56As a matter of fact, as a result of my conference,
00:15:59I'm going to New York at once.
00:16:02Joe, I always know you'd rise.
00:16:06Yeah, he was easy to get a rise out of.
00:16:10I'll keep in touch with you from New York, Pop.
00:16:12Pretty soon, you'll hear me on the radio every night.
00:16:15Joe Miller, the guy who makes the ether waves quibble with laughter.
00:16:18Or?
00:16:19Well, so long, Pop.
00:16:20So long, boy, and lots of luck.
00:16:23Jay, with my cracks, you better wish those other comics luck.
00:16:40Give me 20, sister.
00:16:59I'm celebrating.
00:17:00All right.
00:17:30Your way?
00:17:30No, no.
00:17:31It's all right.
00:17:32It's all right.
00:17:42Hey, hey, Janet.
00:17:43Janet, listen.
00:17:49Hey, I beg your pardon.
00:17:51It's all right.
00:17:52You guys are looking for it.
00:17:53Will you please keep on with my coffee?
00:17:57I'm sorry.
00:17:57Here.
00:17:58Have your dessert on me.
00:18:07Now I've got you.
00:18:10Let go.
00:18:11Yeah, yeah.
00:18:11What are you doing there?
00:18:13Here.
00:18:14Are you in here for dinner or a sightseeing tour?
00:18:16No, look.
00:18:16I, I, I...
00:18:17Now, just a moment.
00:18:17You've caused enough disturbance.
00:18:19I'll have to ask you to leave.
00:18:20Listen, I've got to talk to that girl.
00:18:22I'm engaged to her.
00:18:23Oh, so that's it.
00:18:28Young man, I'm sorry.
00:18:30But my doctor won't allow me to eat pie.
00:18:33Thank you just the same.
00:18:51What's the idea?
00:18:53Where's the other girl?
00:18:54Oh, her boyfriend came in, and he made a scene, and she was fired.
00:19:01Oh, I'm sorry.
00:19:02Where'd she go now?
00:19:04She just left.
00:19:18I can't eat it either.
00:19:20I'm a vegetarian.
00:19:24I have an appointment with Mr. Jones.
00:19:49Is that so?
00:19:50When did you make the appointment?
00:19:52Last night.
00:19:53Well, that's funny.
00:19:53Mr. Jones has been in Europe two months.
00:19:57Oh, did I say Mr. Jones?
00:19:59I met Mr. Thomas.
00:20:01Mr. Thomas will be in conference all afternoon.
00:20:11Will you call the phonograph company and have them send over a mechanic?
00:20:14This machine has gone wrong again.
00:20:20Are you ready for lunch, Beatrice?
00:20:21Chris, don't tell me it's time for lunch.
00:20:23Nothing else but.
00:20:24You going to lunch, Helen?
00:20:25Yes, I'm ready.
00:20:26Oh, uh, call this number for the repairman.
00:20:30Mr. Thomas is in a hurry.
00:20:32Okay.
00:20:32Oh, uh, say, are you from the phonograph company?
00:20:45Yeah.
00:20:46Well, uh, we managed to get the machine fixed.
00:20:48See, what's wrong with it?
00:20:49It seems to be always getting out of order.
00:20:51Ah, they play us to death and they never oil us.
00:20:54The motor gets stuck, that's all.
00:20:55Oh.
00:20:56Well, look, uh, let me have one of your cards, will you?
00:20:58I've got a machine at home that needs some work done on it.
00:21:00Sure.
00:21:00Thanks.
00:21:03I'll, uh, I'll give you a ring.
00:21:14We're doing the best we can, Mr. Burroughs, on the amount of money that you're spending.
00:21:19Come in.
00:21:22The repairman is here, Mr. Thomas.
00:21:24Show him the machine.
00:21:25Please get it fixed as soon as possible, will you?
00:21:29Right away.
00:21:31Do you realize, Mr. Burroughs, competition is keen in the radio advertising field, and we've
00:21:37got to compete with the big shows.
00:21:39I know, but you can't seem to get any worthwhile talent at all.
00:21:43Well, Mr. Burroughs, your appropriation won't permit any Eddie Cantors or Rudy Valleys.
00:21:49Can't we develop some talent ourselves?
00:21:52Something's got to be done, and it's up to you.
00:21:55Hello, my lucky public.
00:22:02This is Joe Miller broadcasting, just a few crumbs from a wisecracker.
00:22:08Well, Mr. Miller, you look bright and snappy this morning.
00:22:12Yes, indeed.
00:22:13I always have a cold bath before seven.
00:22:16A cold bath before seven, huh?
00:22:18Well, that's quite a crowd.
00:22:19They tell me you know all about natural history, Mr. Miller.
00:22:25Sure, I do.
00:22:26What do you want to know?
00:22:27What kind of animals grow on vines?
00:22:30Ray apes.
00:22:35Mr. Miller, I hear you had a fight with your girl.
00:22:38Yes, she wore one of those abbreviated bathing suits.
00:22:41And did I bawl her out?
00:22:43And what did she do when you disapproved of her bathing suit?
00:22:46Oh, she just laughed it off.
00:22:54Well, Mr. Miller, is that a Jersey cow on your farm?
00:22:58I don't know.
00:22:58No, I didn't look at the license plate.
00:23:10Who is that fellow?
00:23:11Well, whoever he is, he has everything.
00:23:13Joe Miller.
00:23:14Never heard him.
00:23:16Where did you get that record?
00:23:18I made it.
00:23:19Do you know this fellow, Miller?
00:23:22Sure.
00:23:22He's the best friend I've got.
00:23:24Well, sit down here and phone him to come over right away.
00:23:26I want to talk to him.
00:23:27You aren't talking to him.
00:23:32Say, how would you like to try out on the radio?
00:23:38Well, I might consider it.
00:23:41How much would you want a week?
00:23:43Well, I'm worth a thousand.
00:23:45I'll ask 500, you'll give me 50, and to save time, I'll accept your last offer.
00:23:50On one condition.
00:23:51What's that?
00:23:52I've got to have an advance.
00:23:53Well, now, we're not accustomed to doing business that way, but...
00:23:56How much do you want?
00:23:58A buck.
00:23:58A buck.
00:24:00Here you are, sir.
00:24:02I want you to meet Mr. Burroughs, of the Burroughs Pancake Flour Company, who will be the sponsor on this produce.
00:24:07Happy to meet you, Mr. Miller.
00:24:09And you're going to be a whole lot happier, Mr. Burroughs.
00:24:11You know, I like the pancake business.
00:24:12It's a quick turnover.
00:24:15Very good.
00:24:16And in that connection, do you realize that a waffle is nothing but a pancake that's had smallpox?
00:24:21Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
00:24:51This is practically the end of the program.
00:24:58I depend on that.
00:25:09We're in the office.
00:25:11I want you to meet my program manager.
00:25:14Must I?
00:25:16Mr. Miller, what do you think we ought to do with this show?
00:25:23Embalment.
00:25:26Is it as dead as that?
00:25:36Moonlit ripples on a shimmering sea.
00:25:41Zephyrs through the Everglades.
00:25:46Wafting reverie's dream to me.
00:25:51As perfumed romance beckoned.
00:25:57And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes our progress.
00:26:01Now remember, start each day right with a hearty breakfast
00:26:05made from Burroughs pancake flour.
00:26:08Happy dream.
00:26:10Happy dream.
00:26:16Gentleman.
00:26:17Mr. Green.
00:26:18I want you to meet Mr. Miller.
00:26:19Mr. Green is in charge of my program.
00:26:20How are you, Mr. Miller?
00:26:21Oh, I hope you liked our program.
00:26:22You see, we've tried to build something dignified.
00:26:24The program's got dignity all right.
00:26:25That trio nearly broke my heart.
00:26:26Do you think you can suggest anything better?
00:26:27Do you think you can suggest anything better?
00:26:28Throw your dignity in the ash can and give your fans some zip and pep and personalities.
00:26:33And where are you going to find these personalities?
00:26:34We'll create them ourselves.
00:26:35I've got some ideas that will be riots.
00:26:36That remains to be seen.
00:26:37Oh, you'll see it all right.
00:26:38Here, here's a swell idea.
00:26:39We'll make a tie up with one of the Broadway restaurants.
00:26:40I'll eat Burroughs pancakes there every night after the night.
00:26:41And I'll be in the morning.
00:26:42And I'll be in the morning.
00:26:43I'll be in the morning.
00:26:44I'll be in the morning.
00:26:45I'll be in the morning.
00:26:46I'll be in the morning.
00:26:47I'll be in the morning.
00:26:48I'll be in the morning.
00:26:49I'll be in the morning.
00:26:50I'll be in the morning.
00:26:51I'll be in the morning.
00:26:52I'll be in the morning.
00:26:53I'll be in the morning.
00:26:54I'll be in the morning.
00:26:55I'll be in the morning.
00:26:56You'll be in the morning.
00:26:57Now, you'll see it all right.
00:26:58Here, here's a swell idea.
00:26:59We'll make a tie up with one of the Broadway restaurants.
00:27:02I'll eat Burroughs pancakes there every night after the show.
00:27:05And the fans will mob the place to get Joe Miller's autograph.
00:27:08What do you think, Walker?
00:27:09Sounds great to me.
00:27:10Miller, I think you're on the right track.
00:27:11On the right track, here.
00:27:12Say, listen, we'll make the United States so pancake conscious,
00:27:15they'll take the eagle off the country and put it on a flapjack.
00:27:20Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:27:50Pancake flowers, now they're on a pancake flower, honey.
00:28:00Hello, my lucky public.
00:28:05Here I am, full of dim, bigger, vitality, pep and personality, and borrowed pancakes.
00:28:15And now, now I'm going to find out how you feel.
00:28:20What's the best thing to start out the day with?
00:28:23World's Pancake!
00:28:25What's the best and most economical lunch you can buy?
00:28:29World's Pancake!
00:28:31Come on, come on, give it to me.
00:28:34I ask you for pep and you sound like you've got the pep.
00:28:37What is it that children cry for?
00:28:40World's Pancake!
00:28:42What is it that gives you that schoolgirl complexion?
00:28:47World's Pancake!
00:28:48And now, come on, gang, let's give them the L.
00:28:52P-U-R-R-O-U-G-A-S!
00:28:58World's Pancake!
00:29:00And now, a little song entitled,
00:29:10I put blueing on my blackbird.
00:29:12That's how I died for you.
00:29:22Great show.
00:29:23It's getting better every day.
00:29:25That is getting results.
00:29:26You can see the way my sails are moving.
00:29:41And now, introducing the Pancake Trio,
00:29:45who will present a little number hot off the griddle.
00:29:48She was one of a trio that sang on the air each day.
00:30:00She was one of a million fans.
00:30:03Soul is little or hotter away.
00:30:05It was driving him crazy,
00:30:08cause she will name the day.
00:30:11He'd mix up words with his love affair.
00:30:13and sing to her this way.
00:30:22Do I, do I, do I know what I'm doing,
00:30:24bop-bop-bop-bop-bop, baby?
00:30:27I love, love, love, love nobody but you.
00:30:30What a needin' don't.
00:30:32Do I, do I, do I know what I'm doing,
00:30:34bop-bop-bop-bop-bop, baby?
00:30:36Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what you're trying to do to me?
00:30:41Oh, how I hidey-ho, hidey-hop that you belong to me.
00:30:47Ta-ta-ta-ta-tom and gal, I never did see.
00:30:51He, I, and he knows to watch, to watch, to watch,
00:30:54I know what I'm doing.
00:30:56There's only one thing wrong with this show.
00:30:58Only one thing?
00:30:59Right.
00:31:00Too good.
00:31:02Too good to waste on a pancake hour.
00:31:05Do I know what I'm doing?
00:31:08Do I know what I'm doing?
00:31:11Listen to me, baby, on the radio.
00:31:16Wa-da-dee-da-dee-do.
00:31:18Wa-da-dee-da-dee-do.
00:31:20Oh, pretty baby, don't you love me no more.
00:31:25Oh, how I hidey-ho, hidey-ho.
00:31:30You belong to me.
00:31:33Birdie, baby, such a ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
00:31:37Come and dance, I never did see.
00:31:40Are you telling me?
00:31:42Do I, do I, do I know what I'm doing?
00:31:46Wa-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, baby.
00:31:48You think you simply, simply,
00:31:50gotta be mine.
00:31:54Do I know, do I know, what I'm doing?
00:32:01Re-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-
00:32:31A fur coat and a diamond-studded wristwatch,
00:32:33would you say she had done wrong?
00:32:35Signed, Anxious Maiden.
00:32:37Maybe she didn't do wrong, but she didn't do so bad, either.
00:32:45I think Joe Miller's 20 of the fuck on.
00:32:48Yeah, but he uses all the same old jokes he used around here.
00:32:53I know all the answers.
00:32:55Dear, dear Dr. Cupid,
00:32:57was the lady I saw you out with the other night unmarried?
00:33:01Signed, Inquisitive.
00:33:03That's easy.
00:33:04That was no lady, that was my wife.
00:33:06Dear Inquisitive,
00:33:08the lady I was with the other night was unmarried.
00:33:12Twice.
00:33:13He double-crossed me.
00:33:27Yes, sir.
00:33:30Yes, sir.
00:33:38I watched him do this kind of bow-off.
00:33:40I have to go
00:33:55Well, of all the people, I was just thinking about you.
00:34:01I beg your pardon.
00:34:02There must be some mistakes.
00:34:03Don't be silly.
00:34:05I think about you the first thing each morning and the last thing each night.
00:34:10Janet Melrose.
00:34:12Well, that's my name, but I don't know you.
00:34:15You mean to say you don't know the man you're engaged to?
00:34:18You're the man that...
00:34:20That put the ring on your finger in the Pennsylvania moonlight.
00:34:23So you're my French Charlie.
00:34:25Here.
00:34:26Do I look like you thought I would?
00:34:29When I first found the ring on my finger, I could hardly believe my eyes.
00:34:34How could you doubt eyes like those?
00:34:37Well, where's the ring now?
00:34:39Well, I left it at home.
00:34:42Well, after this, you see that you'll wear it.
00:34:45To whom have I the honor of being engaged?
00:34:49You mean to say you don't know my name?
00:34:51No.
00:34:52Well, haven't you guessed it?
00:34:53Don't tell me you're incognito.
00:34:55Do I look like a foreigner?
00:34:57Well, you must have been reading about me on plastic all over that sheet.
00:35:01Come here, let me find it for you.
00:35:10There you are.
00:35:11That's the page.
00:35:11I don't see how you missed it.
00:35:20And you're Joe Miller.
00:35:21In person, not a transcription.
00:35:23Well, I seem to be engaged to an up-and-coming young man.
00:35:26Say, listen.
00:35:26In a couple of months, I'll show Ed he can't win, and I'll have Munchausen looking for a valley to hide himself in.
00:35:32I make up those gags like that.
00:35:34Joe Miller's very popular with you, isn't he?
00:35:36Sure.
00:35:37Well, what have you been doing these days?
00:35:41Well, I was working here until some guy came in and got fresh and started a rumpus that got me fired.
00:35:46Well, that's too bad.
00:35:50Who was the guy?
00:35:52I don't know.
00:35:52I didn't get a look at his face, but I'd like to give him a piece of my mind.
00:35:56Well, don't worry.
00:35:57I'll bet he's plenty ashamed of himself.
00:36:00Well, I'm sorry, but I must be getting home.
00:36:03Well, why not let me take you home?
00:36:05Well, why not?
00:36:10I think fiancées should get acquainted with each other.
00:36:13Sure.
00:36:13That's how people get into trouble, marrying strangers.
00:36:17You know, I take you in a taxi except for one thing.
00:36:20Don't tell me you're broke, too.
00:36:21No, it'll take longer if we walk.
00:36:32That lock always sticks that way.
00:36:34Yeah.
00:36:39Well, that's just about the nicest walk I ever had.
00:36:42I enjoyed it.
00:36:44Well.
00:36:46How's the lock on the door upstairs?
00:36:49Oh, it's all right.
00:36:51Oh.
00:36:52Well.
00:36:53Oh, don't go away.
00:36:55You haven't finished telling me all about yourself.
00:36:57Oh, there's really not much more to tell.
00:37:00The show business is pretty hard right now,
00:37:02unless the girl is willing to give favors.
00:37:06Yeah, I suppose so.
00:37:07So the big bad wolf started barking
00:37:09and chased me right into that job at the automatic.
00:37:12Well, all your troubles are over now.
00:37:16What makes you think so?
00:37:17Well, you've met me, haven't you?
00:37:19Well, you carry your rooting section right with you, don't you?
00:37:23Sure.
00:37:24How'd you like to be cheerleader?
00:37:26I don't think you need one.
00:37:29Say, have you ever tried to get on the radio?
00:37:32Yes, but I could never even get an audition.
00:37:35Well, maybe if you treat me nice,
00:37:37I'll get your job on my show.
00:37:40Well, just what does treating you nice mean?
00:37:43Well, it shouldn't be so hard to treat me nice, should it?
00:37:47I think I'll be going, Mr. Miller.
00:37:50Oh, now, wait a minute.
00:37:51I've been looking for you ever since that night
00:37:52I grabbed your hand in the automatic.
00:37:55So you were...
00:37:56Oh, I didn't mean to cause any trouble.
00:37:58Honest, I didn't.
00:37:59I needed that job.
00:38:00Well, forget about it.
00:38:01I'll get you another one.
00:38:02No, thank you, Mr. Miller.
00:38:03I don't give favors, and I don't want any.
00:38:05Well, aren't you going to give your fiancé a little kiss?
00:38:09All right, I'll give you one.
00:38:12I like your cheek.
00:38:14I thought you would.
00:38:15Here, I'll let you kiss it.
00:38:18You're the most conceited man I ever met.
00:38:31Romance.
00:38:47Is Miss Melrose in?
00:38:49Janet doesn't live here anymore.
00:38:50All right, all right.
00:38:51Never mind the gag.
00:38:52I got it.
00:38:53What?
00:38:54Skip it.
00:38:55Did she leave any forwarding address?
00:38:57No, she never left nothing.
00:38:58Ah, now I know you, Mr. Miller.
00:39:04Would you have to graph this for me?
00:39:08Sure.
00:39:10All I need is ten more labels, and I'll get your picture.
00:39:16Thank you, sir.
00:39:22All right, stand back.
00:39:24Stand back.
00:39:24Stand back.
00:39:25Stand back.
00:39:26Stand back.
00:39:27Stand back.
00:39:28Say, what's this, a pinch?
00:39:29No, that's Joe Miller.
00:39:31He eats pancakes here every night after the radio show.
00:39:34Oh.
00:39:43Stand back.
00:39:45I'll get rid of my hand.
00:39:46I'll be right with you.
00:39:47Oh, I agree.
00:39:48Thank you so much.
00:39:49It's just a minute.
00:39:50Right with you.
00:39:53Very good.
00:39:54I wish you had to do this.
00:39:55Oh, you see.
00:39:56While I'm ready.
00:39:56I like this next best thing being eating pancakes.
00:39:59I'll be right with you.
00:40:01There we are.
00:40:03Give me your pencil.
00:40:04I'm going to get you to sign my menu.
00:40:07We'll have three nice orders of thin, crisp pancakes, and they must be made of Burroughs pancake flour.
00:40:14We always use Burroughs pancake flour, Mr. Miller.
00:40:17Tell the chef to make them as small as possible.
00:40:23I've eaten so many of those pancakes, my stomach thinks I'm marooned in a wheat field.
00:40:28Shh, Joe, they'll hear you.
00:40:29Mr. Miller, would you sign my menu?
00:40:31Why, baby, I'll have it engraved if you want me to.
00:40:42Ah, that's what the doctor ordered?
00:40:47Oh, boy.
00:40:57Do you know what the eighth wonder of the modern world is?
00:41:00How about it?
00:41:01My stomach.
00:41:02Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:41:03Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:41:33Ha, ha, ha.
00:42:03Ha, ha, ha.
00:42:05Ha, ha, ha.
00:42:07Ha, ha.
00:42:18What did you find?
00:42:23I located the shop where she pulled the ring, sir.
00:42:27The payments were overdue, but I redeemed them.
00:42:31Did you get a new address?
00:42:32Yes.
00:42:35Budge, you're sensational.
00:42:40Ah, the poor kid.
00:42:42Budge, have you ever been in love?
00:42:44No, sir.
00:42:46My duties require that I should be normal at all times.
00:42:51Budge?
00:42:53Love is quite right.
00:43:02My life is just one pancake after another.
00:43:10Well, well, well, well, well.
00:43:12My favorite fiancé.
00:43:15How are you, Mr. Miller?
00:43:18Oh, is that as big as you're going to take it?
00:43:21I knew you were here.
00:43:22I couldn't miss your Pullman car out front.
00:43:25Surrounded by your lucky public.
00:43:33Hello, honey.
00:43:34Hello.
00:43:34I've got a heavy date.
00:43:36Goodbye, Mr. Miller.
00:43:37Glad to have messing up with you.
00:43:39So long.
00:43:40Don't do anything I would.
00:43:42I've tried that, and I didn't like it.
00:43:53You know, you're not looking so hot.
00:43:55Thanks.
00:43:56Oh, I didn't mean that.
00:43:58I mean, you're not doing so well.
00:44:03Thanks again.
00:44:05Say, why don't you take that chip off your shoulder?
00:44:09I've been looking for you for months.
00:44:11Why were you looking for me?
00:44:13Well, in the first place, because I like you.
00:44:17And in the second place?
00:44:19Well, me being a big shot now, they'll
00:44:20take anybody I want on my program.
00:44:22I'm quite capable of getting my own job.
00:44:24Oh, you're going to be stubborn and independent.
00:44:26You'll never get anywhere being like that.
00:44:28You seem to have gotten places.
00:44:30Well, that's different.
00:44:31There's only one.
00:44:32Go on and say it.
00:44:33There's only one Joe Miller.
00:44:36Well, that's right, isn't it?
00:44:37Well, I suppose it's something to be thankful for.
00:44:41Say, listen.
00:44:42The way we argue, you think we were married.
00:44:44I'm not arguing.
00:44:45I just don't want to be packing up.
00:44:48Look, when you come here because you like me,
00:44:51that's one thing.
00:44:52But coming here is a big shot to give Cinderella a job
00:44:55and make her indebted to you.
00:44:56That's something else.
00:44:57No, wait a minute.
00:44:58When I work in a radio station or any place else,
00:45:00I want it to be because I deserve that job.
00:45:03And not because I'm a friend of the managers or Joe Miller.
00:45:44Let's go.
00:46:14The boy was sweethearts and they got her one night. He called her this and called her that a terrible fight. He said her terrible pancake power. Now they're on a pancake power, honey.
00:46:44Mr. Miller, it's Miss Melrose waiting for you. Well, send her in. You won't have to look her up, George. She's here.
00:46:55She's on the stage, Miss Melrose.
00:46:56Yes. Well, this is a surprise.
00:47:00You should have known better than to leave these.
00:47:02Oh, don't be like that.
00:47:03Well, I am like that. He's that, that.
00:47:06Well, I hate to take the ring back. Oh, what, Mr. Green.
00:47:10I want you to meet Miss Melrose. Mr. Green is our program manager.
00:47:16How do you do, Mr. Green?
00:47:17How do you do?
00:47:19Melrose. Janet Melrose.
00:47:23I remember. I saw you in Tulip Time.
00:47:25Yes, I played the lead.
00:47:26Yes. You sang, uh, now let me see. What was it?
00:47:31A love is a dream.
00:47:32Yes, that's it. I wondered what became of you.
00:47:36Won't you step into my office? I'd like to talk with you.
00:47:46Sit down, Miss Melrose.
00:47:49You see, what our show needs is a specialty singer to round out the program,
00:47:54to sort of give it a little more dignity.
00:47:56Oh, Mr. Green here is the original Ding Dong Dignity Man from Duma.
00:48:00Are you at liberty now?
00:48:01Yes. And I'm unpatriotic enough to believe there's such a thing as too much liberty.
00:48:07Could you give us an audition in the morning?
00:48:09I don't know about this. We've got a pretty full show now.
00:48:13Well, we could cut a lot of it and never miss it.
00:48:16Well, uh, I've got to get over to kids for my pancake seance.
00:48:20I'll be seeing you.
00:48:21Is, uh, Mr. Miller a friend of yours?
00:48:28His attitude would hardly indicate it.
00:48:33Do you still want to give me that audition?
00:48:35Absolutely.
00:48:36Would 10.30 be too early?
00:48:39I'll be near at 10.
00:48:40Are you nervous?
00:48:56A little.
00:48:57Forget about it.
00:48:58Do as well as you did at the audition and you'll be a hit.
00:49:01As Amos and Andy might say,
00:49:03they'll be true to your teeth or they'll be false to you.
00:49:06He certainly gets applause.
00:49:08More food for that conceitum.
00:49:12And now,
00:49:14it's our pleasure to present a newcomer on this program.
00:49:17That charming star of the big musical comedy hit
00:49:20Tulip Time, Dream Lady,
00:49:22Sweet and Lovely, Love Taps,
00:49:23and a dozen others.
00:49:25None other than
00:49:26Miss Janet Melrose.
00:49:28One minute I'm happy
00:49:39And then I'm unhappy
00:49:41Whatever way you are
00:49:46I'm that way
00:49:48Night or day
00:49:51I've tried so discreetly
00:49:55To hide it completely
00:49:58The fact that I'm yours, dear
00:50:03Yours alone
00:50:06Yours to own
00:50:10Oh, but you
00:50:15I took the whole direction
00:50:18That drives me to
00:50:21Enchantment or distraction
00:50:25When you smile
00:50:27I'm oh so happy
00:50:29She has a nice voice
00:50:30I used to have a voice myself
00:50:32You're so?
00:50:33Yes
00:50:34Singers run in our family
00:50:36Well, I don't blame them
00:50:37And who but you
00:50:42Can set my soul a fire
00:50:46With a new
00:50:48Completely mad desire
00:50:53Though in love
00:50:56No one believes it
00:51:00Who is missing
00:51:04Who but you
00:51:10You were wonderful, my dear
00:51:22A very charming addition
00:51:24To the show
00:51:24Thank you, Seth
00:51:25Good boy, George
00:51:27I understand she was your find
00:51:28No, I can't take the credit
00:51:30She just more or less
00:51:32Stumbled in
00:51:33Well, don't fix the doorstep
00:51:35Good night, Miss Melrose
00:51:38Good night
00:51:38So long, Joe
00:51:41Good night, boys
00:51:42Well, kids, you're in
00:51:45Did I put you over
00:51:46Or did I put you over?
00:51:47Don't you think Miss Melrose
00:51:48Had just a little bit
00:51:50To do with it?
00:51:50Oh, sure, but I'm
00:51:52Where'd you ever get that
00:51:53Mr. Shows you introduced me with?
00:51:54I'd never heard of half of them
00:51:56Neither did I
00:51:58Look, how's about you and me
00:52:02Over to kids
00:52:03For a flock of those pancakes, huh?
00:52:04Oh, I'm sorry
00:52:05I lost you
00:52:06But I have an engagement
00:52:08An engagement?
00:52:12Janet and I are going to
00:52:13Celebrate her success
00:52:14So long, Joey
00:52:16Happy pancakes
00:52:18Night, Joe
00:52:20Say, you've got to do
00:52:46Something about this
00:52:47Fan meal of yours
00:52:48Why?
00:52:49What's the matter with it?
00:52:51I'm getting writer's cray
00:52:52From answering it
00:52:53And I'm getting fed up
00:52:59With these words
00:53:00Beautiful, gorgeous
00:53:01Wonderful
00:53:02Stupendous
00:53:03Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
00:53:05You know, I received
00:53:06Seventeen more proposals
00:53:08For you today
00:53:08Can you let me see one of them?
00:53:11You know, I kind of get
00:53:12A kick out of looking at them
00:53:13Hey, wait a minute
00:53:16You're not going
00:53:16Joe Miller on us, are you?
00:53:18I hope not
00:53:19You know, that guy's read
00:53:21So many blurbs about himself
00:53:22He believes them
00:53:23Poor Joe
00:53:24He'll be poor Joe
00:53:26If he doesn't quit
00:53:27Tossing his money away
00:53:28On English butlers
00:53:30And pet houses
00:53:31And wild parties
00:53:32He's giving another one tonight
00:53:33Suppose I should go
00:53:35And hear Joe talk about
00:53:37I, me, Joe Miller and company
00:53:39Well, I've got to play
00:53:52Mr. Miller
00:53:52You say the word
00:53:53And I'll put it on
00:53:54Well, let's sort of
00:53:55The quicker, silverman
00:53:56I'm getting sick and tired
00:53:58Of looking at those dumb microphones
00:54:00Well, won't Burroughs
00:54:02Give you a leave of absence
00:54:03For about three months
00:54:04I tried it
00:54:05The chance that I'm sitting
00:54:07And get pictures
00:54:07Offered me fifty grand
00:54:09For a feature
00:54:09But Burroughs said no
00:54:12Well, that's too bad
00:54:13You ought to do
00:54:14The party's dying
00:54:15Look at me
00:54:16Here, look me
00:54:17Do you think we won't?
00:54:20Two will be
00:54:22Hit it, boys
00:54:24I'm going to town
00:54:25Good evening, Mr. Moose
00:54:35Good evening
00:54:36My, it's warm in there
00:54:43Whoopi
00:54:44Come on
00:54:45Shake it up, babe
00:54:46And it's getting hotter
00:54:47Hot, jiggity dog
00:54:49Showing off before
00:54:51A lot of people
00:54:51Wouldn't give him a tumble
00:54:52If he weren't on top
00:54:53I'm fed up on this
00:54:55Haven't you had enough
00:54:57Yes, I think so
00:54:59Suppose you call a taxi, George
00:55:01I think I'd better
00:55:02Hey, I've been looking for you
00:55:13I got a little surprise for you
00:55:16I came out to get a little air
00:55:18It's marvelous out here
00:55:20Nice little city, huh?
00:55:25Wonderful
00:55:25You like it?
00:55:29All right
00:55:29I'll buy it for you
00:55:32Hey, look at that
00:55:41That's got four carrots
00:55:43Then you could have to start a soup kitchen
00:55:48Hey, give me a hand
00:55:50Give me a hand
00:55:53Give me a hand, it's for you
00:55:53No, it isn't, Joe
00:55:55I don't understand
00:55:58I want to marry you
00:55:59Does it matter whether I want to marry you or not?
00:56:02Well, I certainly thought that
00:56:05That any girl should jump at the opportunity of marrying Joe Miller
00:56:08Isn't that it?
00:56:09Oh, Joe
00:56:10Don't you see what you're doing to yourself?
00:56:13Why, you're surrounded by a lot of parasites
00:56:15Who hid you into believing that you made the people who really made you
00:56:18Well, wait a minute
00:56:19I can't wait, Joe
00:56:21I may never have another chance to talk to you like this
00:56:23But I'd a thousand times rather have that little ring that you once put on my finger
00:56:28Than that undignified headlight
00:56:31Undignified?
00:56:36I get it
00:56:37What do you mean?
00:56:39Oh, why don't you cut out the hooey and admit that you're stuck on that guy Green
00:56:42I've watched him playing up here, giving you more and more time in the show
00:56:46What's he trying to do, make it a Janet Miller's program?
00:56:50Joe, don't be ridiculous
00:56:51You're the second dame that's made a sap out of me
00:56:54Well, you're going to be the last
00:56:56Well, maybe that's the best thing you ever did
00:57:02At least that much of your money will do some poor beggar a little good
00:57:16Penny for your thoughts, Uncle Joe
00:57:25You're worth more than a penny, baby
00:57:32I'm going to get drunk
00:57:34Good and drunk
00:57:36I'm going to paint that white way so it'll look like a rainbow
00:57:46No
00:57:59Say, hasn't Joe Miller shown up yet?
00:58:02No, and he better get here pretty quick or we're sunk
00:58:04Well, congratulations
00:58:06About what?
00:58:08I was in Walker's office when they sold Burroughs the idea of signing you up for two years
00:58:12Really?
00:58:13Yes
00:58:13Oh, George, isn't that great?
00:58:15Bless you, my children
00:58:20May all your offspring be tenors
00:58:26Or am I too undignified
00:58:29He's drunk, I'd better get Walker
00:58:36No
00:58:36Please don't, George
00:58:38He'll come out of it, all right
00:58:45Hello, my lucky suckers
00:59:12So once in your life, you're going to hear the truth
00:59:15You know why I've always called you my lucky public?
00:59:22Because you didn't have to eat those terrible pancakes
00:59:26Say, what's the matter with him?
00:59:30Be ready to cut him off the air
00:59:32Burroughs pancakes are fine
00:59:36For patching tires and half-soling shoes
00:59:40Stop him, get him off the air
00:59:43Burroughs pancakes
00:59:44See your undertaker twice a year
00:59:47Miller's gone crazy, cut him off
00:59:49Hello
00:59:50Yes, yes, he's off the air
00:59:52We'll put on a record until you can resume your program
00:59:55Miller, you're an insane
01:00:02Miller, you're an insane
01:00:03Am I?
01:00:05Well, put this in your bonnet
01:00:06I'm through at Burroughs
01:00:08And that's that
01:00:09Why, you idiot
01:00:10You've torn down in one minute
01:00:12But it took you a year to build
01:00:13And Burroughs 20 years
01:00:15So what?
01:00:16Oh, Joe, how could you?
01:00:18How could I?
01:00:19What do you care?
01:00:21You were no bit for this break
01:00:23And here it is
01:00:23Here's your chance
01:00:26To head the program
01:00:28It's pretty close
01:00:58Remember the way that guy throws those cakes around in there
01:01:00Look at him
01:01:00Yes
01:01:01This place doesn't get the play it used to, though
01:01:03No
01:01:04Not since that guy that pulled off his eating stunt went off the radio
01:01:07What was his name?
01:01:09I think it was Jim or Joe or something
01:01:12I can't remember
01:01:13Isn't it funny
01:01:14The names of those hats then have slipped your mind?
01:01:16Yep
01:01:16Well, we must be getting old, Hank
01:01:18I guess so
01:01:19You know, I'm getting a little worried about her
01:01:22What's the matter?
01:01:23Is her fan mail falling off?
01:01:25No, no, it's not that
01:01:26She, uh
01:01:26She seems listless
01:01:27She hasn't that zip and pep she used to have
01:01:29Not a bit like her old self
01:01:31Oh, am I intruding?
01:01:33No, no, not at all, Janet
01:01:34I was, I was just leaving
01:01:35Uh, maybe you might see what you can do about that
01:01:39Yes, I will, Mr. Walker
01:01:40I'll think it over
01:01:40Yes, do, well
01:01:41Good night
01:01:42Good night
01:01:42All right
01:01:51Suppose you tell me what's on your mind
01:01:53Oh, it's nothing, George
01:01:55I was just thinking about
01:01:57Well, it's no use talking about him
01:02:00He's poison around here
01:02:02You mean the pancake eater?
01:02:04The one and only Joe Miller?
01:02:07You're right, George
01:02:08There is only one Joe Miller
01:02:10That being the case
01:02:13Janet, I think there's something you ought to know
01:02:16Well, you got your break through Joe
01:02:19What?
01:02:20Yes
01:02:20He got me to put on an act for you
01:02:24I never sought fuel of time
01:02:26In fact, I, I never even heard of you until
01:02:30Oh, George, we've got to find him
01:02:32And give him another chance
01:02:33It's no use, Janet
01:02:36Once a star is off the air, he's through
01:02:39And there's no one as far off the air as Joe
01:02:43Oh, don't bother me
01:02:50I'll have the rent tomorrow
01:02:51Hello, Joe
01:02:56Well, aren't you going to ask me in?
01:03:05Oh, sure
01:03:06Sure, Janet, come on in
01:03:08Gee, you're, you're looking swell
01:03:17Won't you sit down?
01:03:20Thanks
01:03:21Certainly good to see you again, Joe
01:03:25How have you been?
01:03:27Well, I'm not exactly living at the Waldorf
01:03:30But everything's going to be all right
01:03:33Of course it is
01:03:34There's only one Joe Miller
01:03:36Yeah
01:03:39Yeah, I guess you and a lot of people are glad about that
01:03:44I didn't mean it that way
01:03:46I want help you, Joe
01:03:50No
01:03:53No, thanks
01:03:54I don't need any help
01:03:55But you helped me
01:03:57George told me about it
01:04:00I wish that dignified sap had learned to keep his tracks shut
01:04:03Oh, can't you see what it means to have you come and find me in a dump like this
01:04:07I'm a mess I made of everything
01:04:09But I don't want any help from anybody
01:04:11I understand you
01:04:15I don't know who I am
01:04:20I don't want any help from anyone
01:04:21I don't mean I know where I go
01:04:24I use rooms
01:04:28I do what new doors
01:04:29I meet Ryan
01:04:30This one
01:04:32I do it
01:04:33That's all
01:04:34I do 보�n't
01:04:35the defense
01:04:35I send you
01:04:36I get to
01:04:38I'm sorry
01:04:39I don't understand
01:04:40But I'm sorry
01:04:41wait
01:04:42That's all
01:04:42I don't want
01:04:43On a hill in the hills of Kentucky,
01:05:05On a hill in the hills of Kentucky,
01:05:14Make the walls of Kentucky sky,
01:05:18Where the blue grass is high,
01:05:22That's the one place that I long to be.
01:05:30Are you sure you don't know what this is all about?
01:05:32You got me.
01:05:34Janet and Green insist upon our being here tonight.
01:05:38To spin in my fond memories,
01:05:46On a hill in the hills of Kentucky,
01:05:51Where are you going?
01:05:52Get out of my way.
01:05:54What's the idea of pulling this stuff?
01:05:56You!
01:05:57I may be off the air and down and out,
01:05:59But I don't need any charity from you or anybody else.
01:06:01Look!
01:06:02It's Joe Miller!
01:06:03It's Joe Miller!
01:06:04It is Joe Miller!
01:06:05Joe Miller!
01:06:06Joe Miller!
01:06:07It's Joe Richa,
01:06:12Evening again!
01:06:13New遊 наши members of Kentucky,
01:06:14Joe Miller,
01:06:17I've been happy now now!
01:06:19So moved by,
01:06:22The practical money company to look up for hisária,
01:06:24The ovation that you've just heard is for an old friend who dropped into the studio and I'm sure
01:06:40that you all like to hear a word from the one and only Joel Miller. He'll ruin us. I'll stop the show.
01:06:51Wait. Hello. My lucky public. Believe it or not. For once the talk of Joe Miller can't take a thing to say. I want to make a public apology to the millions of fans who've made me for acting like a sap.
01:07:19Your ovation was worthy. A great star. We all know that there's only one. Janet Melrose.
01:07:28Oh I'm so glad to get back again Joe.
01:07:37They've made a very good performance. Yes. Mr. Burrows. I'm sorry I broke up your program again. Honest this time it was an accident. An accident? The luckiest accident we ever had. Why your lucky public is calling the studio by the hundreds asking when Joe Miller's coming back on the air. Do you think you could stomach my pancakes again? Well the question is. Could you stomach me again? Now there's a question of money. Oh I guess we can get together on that all. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
01:08:07All right. Only there's one condition. I've got to have an advance. Well now. How much do you want? Two bucks. The price of a license. Say. I got an idea. You can start booming my new awful flower. When you go into a restaurant. You can eat water. Well you better make that advance. Two eighty.
01:08:37two fifty. One or five. Cool.