Letterkenny Season 9 Episode 5 Sleepover
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TVTranscript
00:00your pal needed a handyman the other day truck wouldn't turn over this morning
00:11took me five or six tries
00:14well what are you putting her 5w30 10w30 10w40's 15w40's two stroke four stroke
00:26what kind of mile you get to the gallon what's your time to highway mileage small crack in the
00:29windshield weakens the structural integrity of the entire vehicle totally transmission
00:34annual transmission automatic transmissions semi-automatic transmission planetary gear
00:39automatic electronic pressure system sounds like hydraulics no clutch now you run a heating
00:43block in or overnight this time of year right what's rubber you got left on those tires you
00:47don't still have your summers on winter should go on no later than mid-november and most dealerships
00:51will store your summers if you go in a wee bit earlier gail what do you idle at could be computer
00:56what hope it's not computer no i hope so too where do you fill it up west end south end
01:08vendors if you're going out of town for that i'm hesitant like i'm real hesitant dealer tells you
01:12premium you go premium you got nothing to gain there premium 91 to 93 octane you go fucking 92
01:18straight up the middle if you think the dealership has a second for you once the vehicle changes
01:23hands i've got news for you all right truck won't turn over it's not his problem it's not my problem
01:27that's your problem you get it in writing oh look at that dealer doesn't have a fucking pen happen to
01:32me it'll happen to you they want a dicker with monday details tell them that's fine i'll go across the
01:38street i hate to be the one to tell you but that truck loses 50 percent of its value the second you drive
01:43it off the lot you broke down on the 401 are you guess he's not in the office today ever take the
01:48400 to barry early march you don't want the sliding ice don't get you the falling ice will all right
01:54the last truck you tried to sell me come with chrome nerve bars when i'm just fine with the factory
01:59rubber running for at least i said i'm not paying for that not a damn thing wrong with the standard
02:04runners three generations of dairy farmers tell you the exact same thing he wants an extra buck 10 for a
02:10turnkey lock for the fucking gas tank cover i said i did fall off no turnip truck never sat in his
02:15chair once through the deal stood the whole time he wanted that power over me all right so he's got a
02:22big fancy clock up there on the wall behind him in his office not adjusted for daylight savings i said
02:27buddy the writing is literally on the wall here chewed on his pen the entire time i'm thinking if he'll
02:32put that in his mouth what else will he put in there if he called the receptionist his girl one more
02:38time i was going over the fucking table adam photo of his beer league team for his computer wallpaper
02:44that's no family man i said i don't got a problem with you till you bullshit don't bullshit me i signed
02:52the deal and the twin towers come down think about that his dad used to teach me back in grade three
02:57one time he grabbed the back my neck real fucking hard every single one of them carries a revolver
03:03beneath their driver's seat and every single one of them knows why i'd heard he smashed a snapping
03:09turtle shell with the sand wedge on the golf course as a kid and they should have locked him up right
03:13there because that's the right thing to do you want to get an earful you ask his little sister about
03:18guess who opposes gay marriage on twitter everyone thought he's the golden child because he's the only
03:23boy in the church choir he was stealing cookies from bible club the whole time okay who's worse him or
03:29his old man better erase the bottom there innit i seen him kiss his own daughter on the lips past the
03:34age of three that would make a fellow wonder don't i lifted my flip-flops from the lost and found at
03:40the public pool and i can prove it
03:42that gas trails fast in a small town eh yeah it turns out the gas cap was just loose and won't turn
03:57over unless she's airtight so onward
04:11i just i love this time of winter so much i concur with the cold months no one leaves the house
04:33we close the bar early hockey night in canada buddy high five for hibernation buddy
04:39yeah fucking a i just love it so much i love this game so much well you're currently second runner
04:46up there big shoots sonic the hedgehog on sega genesis holds up by today's gaming standards because of the
04:52speed shirt yes have you played mario brothers on original nes lately so fucking slow coffee empty
05:00you might need to dump my letters me too nothing but vowels same but a big concern we're playing with
05:09the french bag of letters the french are so horny for vowels i'm so horny for the french
05:15i-er-e-o-e do you ever get kind of sad when the third period of the doubleheader is almost over
05:24yes it's when the final horn blows i'm not watching hockey with canada anymore katie would you like to
05:30buy baltic avenue fuck dairy if i told you once i told you baker's dozen times it's not your turn
05:36yeah dairy stop doing that it's just like it kind of ruins a game for everybody else when you're trying
05:40to make backdoor deals when it's my role or my role or when it's katie's role to say it's just like
05:45kind of ruins game for everybody else and stop trying to sell me these purple properties they're
05:50like the shittiest properties on the board ooh fucking modine's one of the boards
05:57well what do you want it's not your turn jackass all four railroads good buddy good buddy good buddy
06:04dairy look at me look at me look at me look at me don't do it dairy for what cash dairy don't do it
06:13how much 200 super chief yeah you're fucking mine
06:22i need cash i need to beat dr eggman i need consonants need a classic come back all edmonton so far
06:34buddy i still need cash cash is king well she ain't the fucking wolf of wall street it's all about the
06:39benjamins take the cash make the dash dairy look at me look at me look at me dairy dairy look look at me
06:46look at me look at me look at me don't
06:52done deal damn it you did it's true with no rings okay i'm dumping i'm donald dump
07:02thumpel stilts kin battle of opera goes to edmonton buddy you won the battle but we'll win the war
07:11business doing pleasure with you dairy
07:22short line railroad nice to be home
07:25and that'll be first runner-up super chief
07:36i concede and that'll be first runner-up super chief
07:38second place is first loser one is the loneliest number
07:45i concede and that'll be first runner-up super chief
07:50second place is first loser one is the loneliest number
07:58so so what we're definitely playing with les lettres françaises
08:04call it good night canada
08:08see you soon what do you think dan's doing right now is it with alan tonight
08:11well he's got to finger up the ass then
08:13wait do you want to know what we should do
08:20i'll know when you tell me how batter i think i know baby we should watch all three jackass movies
08:28in a row oh watch all three lord of the rings movies in a row
08:34i haven't watched foobar in a long time i've never seen foobar
08:41saddle up youngin you're in for it
08:45rock and sock and five not six five then six
08:49because like you got to watch them once a year right so like it might as well be night
08:53i wouldn't say no to that there's nothing like not even one thing that makes me laugh like jackass
09:00if i'm a bit tired i might fall asleep no you won't no you won't no you won't let's hit the
09:08hair press play bro press play buddy how could you fall asleep turning jackass yeah you're right
09:14i won't let's do it i'll get the dvds blu-rays rolled
09:20i've got pot gummies should we check to see if any tinderellis hit us up
09:28while our night off bro maybe we should bring the gustin brew with us
09:36maybe we should get a little bit more hammered
09:41i'd get a little more hammered i'm kind of surprised when i get a little bit more hammered right now
09:50there's no way we'll sleep
10:21there's no way you'll sleep
10:31no sleep till brooklyn bro sleep when we're dead buddy
10:50there's no way you'll sleep
10:58all right
11:31Wayne, Wayne, are you awake here?
12:01Is there someone that you like?
12:06What?
12:10Do you like someone?
12:13Are you sleepwalking right now?
12:16No, I don't think so.
12:19Well, I think my sweetie's pretty cool.
12:22Rosie?
12:24Yeah.
12:26Thought so.
12:27Why?
12:33It's because...
12:35It's because...
12:39There's someone that I like.
12:46Do you really?
12:49Yeah.
12:50I like someone.
12:52What?
12:54Katie?
12:55Yeah?
12:57Are you awake?
12:58Yeah.
12:59Do you like someone?
13:01Wayne?
13:02Do you really?
13:03No.
13:04Yes, he does.
13:05No, but it's not your place to tell.
13:07She was probably awake before when you said it, though.
13:11No, but it's not your place to tell.
13:14Who is it?
13:15Oh, my God.
13:18Terry, your breath is so fucking bad right now.
13:20I know.
13:21Oh, my God.
13:23Do we know her?
13:25Who?
13:25Holy fuck.
13:27The girl you like?
13:29No.
13:31I meant...
13:32Just...
13:34Who...
13:34know her?
13:37Me and Wayne.
13:39Terry, your breath is seriously so bad.
13:41I'm gonna fucking puke.
13:43I know.
13:43It's so bad.
13:46Yes.
13:48You guys both know her.
13:52Who?
13:56Hmm?
13:59Steric.
14:04Steric.
14:05What?
14:06You're awake.
14:08Am I awake?
14:10Yeah.
14:10Oh, concretely.
14:12Was that you?
14:14What?
14:15That farted.
14:18No.
14:19It smells like it was you.
14:24It does smell like it was me.
14:27Yeah.
14:28I must have woken myself up with a fart.
14:31I do that sometimes, too.
14:37Steric.
14:39What?
14:39What?
14:40Who do you like?
14:43What?
14:44Do you like anyone?
14:49Yeah.
14:50Really?
14:51Yeah.
14:52Oh.
14:52Oh.
15:00Kale?
15:02Yeah?
15:03Did you just fart?
15:05Yeah.
15:07No.
15:08I was trying to wake you guys up.
15:11Right.
15:13So we can talk about boys.
15:16That's really bad.
15:18There's a handful stacked on top of each other.
15:22What?
15:24Because...
15:25Because...
15:26Because...
15:27Because...
15:28They worked the first few tries.
15:30How many times did you try?
15:33Five or six.
15:34Seven.
15:35Rosie?
15:36What?
15:37You're awake.
15:40Yeah.
15:41Kale just farted five or six times.
15:44Seven.
15:45Seven.
15:45Seven.
15:46Was it seven?
15:48Yeah.
15:49That'll wake you up with the very first one, cousin.
15:52Can confirm, cousin.
15:54And then you just listen to six more farts without saying anything.
15:58Yeah.
16:00Yeah.
16:02Why?
16:04Because...
16:05Because they got progressively more captivating.
16:10Really?
16:11Yeah.
16:13Thanks, cuz.
16:14Oh, my God.
16:28I just hit up Bonnie McMurray.
16:31What?
16:32I just hit up Bonnie McMurray.
16:35I heard you.
16:36I just hit up Bonnie McMurray.
16:38What?
16:39I just hit up Bonnie McMurray, too.
16:42I heard you.
16:43Why?
16:45Take a run at her.
16:47Take a big run at her.
16:49You, too.
16:50Gun it.
16:51Gun it straight across the room.
16:54I figured she's always been kind of lukewarm to the ideas, so over time, I just keep digging runs at her.
17:02Consistency.
17:04Consistency, not persistency.
17:06Broads love getting run at, but you can't be, like...
17:10You can't be, like, annoying.
17:11That's why I always say consistency, not persistency.
17:16You take a run at her, and then wait a bit.
17:20Yeah.
17:20Yeah.
17:21I figured it's been a little while since I've taken a run at her, so...
17:25Yeah, it's been a while since I've taken a run at her, too.
17:28So now's a good time to take a run at her, then.
17:32When's the last time you took a run at her?
17:34A few months ago.
17:36And they just circle back every few months.
17:39You can set your watch to it.
17:41Would you ever let him in there?
17:44Riley or Jonesy?
17:46What's the difference?
17:48You ought to put some work on that boy, Bono.
17:52Riley or Jonesy?
17:53What's the difference?
17:56I ought to put a little work on him.
17:58What if I invited them here?
18:02You can both put a little work on him.
18:05Going to crawl in with Wayne?
18:12Someone's got to keep me warm tonight.
18:14Shh.
18:15George.
18:16What?
18:17Is there really someone that you like, though?
18:21Yeah.
18:23Really?
18:24Yeah.
18:26Oh.
18:30It doesn't matter.
18:31Yes, it does.
18:33No, it doesn't.
18:34Yes, it does.
18:36Fine.
18:42Stewart.
18:43World.
18:44Seriously.
18:49She's out of my league.
18:52You may be after Allie, Karen, and Bianca talk at the same time.
18:58No one is out of your league.
19:05Bonnie McMurray.
19:16Did you just say Bonnie McMurray?
19:20Well, ever since Dan got a sweetie, there's less competition than there once was.
19:27Can I please wingman this?
19:30No.
19:30Please, please, please, please, please, please.
19:32Leave it.
19:33No.
19:34Can you just leave it?
19:37I already invited her over here, Super Chief.
19:39That's booty call territory.
19:45Where are you going?
19:46Crawling with Rosie.
19:54She's on her way over.
19:56But Riley and Jones, you're on their way here.
19:58So?
19:59So two is better than one.
20:02I just want to snuggle.
20:04I don't.
20:04Guess you're going to have to put a little work on them then, cousin.
20:12Yeah.
20:14Okay.
20:21Go to her shirt.
20:23It's the middle of the night.
20:24That's romance.
20:27That's stalking.
20:29She was at Gail's an hour ago on her Instagram story.
20:31Huh.
20:34We are literally asking for stalkers from our social medias these days, aren't we?
20:40Stuart won't go to her?
20:50Don't you really want to make it alone if you could?
20:56Want to, want to make it feel good?
21:01You're feeling out, but you don't want to know if you should.
21:11Want to, want to make it feel good?
21:18It won't happen if I ain't happen.
21:22Oh, why don't you make it go?
21:24I, I, I, I, I, I love to go fast, but not to go far.
21:41Oh, why don't you open that dark in my car?
21:46Oh, why don't you open that dark in my car?
21:49Oh, why don't you open thatant, �robe X?
21:54Oh, why don't you open that dark in my car?
21:57One day, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, A.