Disorder in the Court (1936)

helios universal group

The Three Stooges take justice into their own hands — and chaos follows.  In one of their most iconic shorts, Moe, Larry, and Curly are key witnesses in a murder trial… and the courtroom may never recover. With slapstick gags, misfired testimony, and a wildly improvised musical number, Disorder in the Court is a classic dose of Stooge-style justice.  Packed with quotable lines, physical comedy, and absurd antics, this film is a must-watch for fans of vintage laughs.  Public domain · Runtime: ~16 minutes Order in the court? Not with these three.

Transcript

00:00The End

00:30What is your name?

00:44Gail Tempest

00:45What is your occupation?

00:47I'm a dancer

00:48On the night of February the 13th

00:50Were you working at the Black Bottom Cafe

00:52When this murder was committed?

00:53Yes, but I didn't do it

00:55Then who killed Kirk Robbins?

00:58I don't know

00:59Didn't you kill Kirk Robbins?

01:01I object, Your Honor

01:01And ask that the last question be stricken from the records

01:05It is merely an attempt to influence this intelligent

01:08Broad-minded and most intellectual jury

01:11Objection sustained

01:18Thank you, Your Honor

01:19That is all

01:22Quiet, Polly

01:29If it please the court, Your Honor

01:33At this time, I would like to introduce

01:34My three main witnesses

01:36Howard, Fine, and Howard

01:37They were here a minute ago

01:49Will you pardon me, Your Honor

01:50I'll be right back

01:52Hey, what's the idea for in the game?

02:13I was for onesies

02:14Well, here's two

02:15He was a worthy

02:17You get him to

02:18Here's five

02:19Gentlemen, gentlemen

02:22Don't you realize Miss Gail Tempest's life is at stake?

02:25Oh, Gail

02:26I'm out of my way

02:26What?

02:29Oh, Gail

02:32Yes

02:32Oh

02:33Oh

02:34Oh

02:35Oh

02:37Oh

02:39Oh

02:43Oh

02:49Oh

02:50Oh

02:51Oh

02:52Oh

02:53Oh

02:54Oh

02:55Will you gentlemen please try to be a little more quiet in the court?

03:00Certainly, Judgey. The gate is locked.

03:03Will you please step forward?

03:05No, no, no. Prepare yourself for the witness box.

03:17Take off your hat.

03:19Now raise your right hand.

03:21Now press your left hand here.

03:23Take off your hat.

03:25Raise your right hand.

03:27Now put your left hand here.

03:30Please take off your hat.

03:33Raise your right hand.

03:36Now put your left hand here.

03:38Will you please take off your hat?

03:43Raise your right hand.

03:47Now put your left hand here.

03:49Take off your hat.

03:51Raise your right hand.

03:53Will you get rid of that hat?

03:57Raise your right hand.

04:01Raise your right hand.

04:03Do you solemnly swear to tell us all the truth and nothing is the truth?

04:06Huh?

04:07Do you solemnly swear to tell us all the truth and nothing is the truth?

04:10Are you trying to give me the double talk?

04:13Do you solemnly swear to tell us all the truth and nothing is the truth?

04:17Why don't you answer him?

04:19He's talking pig Latin.

04:20I don't know what he's saying.

04:21He's asking you if you swear...

04:24No, but I know all the words.

04:26He's asking you if you'll swear to tell the truth.

04:29Truth is stranger than fiction, Judgey Wuddy.

04:35Kindly address this court as your honor and take the oath.

04:40Do you solemnly swear to tell us all the truth and nothing is the truth?

04:43Certainly. What have I got to lose?

04:45Take the stand.

04:46Where do I put it?

04:48No, no. Take the stand.

04:51I got it. Now what will I do with it?

04:57Sit down.

05:10You're in the court, not in Clancy's pool room.

05:12Sit down.

05:12I'm a victim of a circumstance.

05:14Who are you hitting?

05:15Oh, God.

05:18Be quiet.

05:21Proceed for the case.

05:26Were you in the Black Bottom Cafe on the night of February the 13th?

05:29Certainly.

05:30Did you at that time see the defendant, Miss Gail Tempest, in any way, shape, or form, commit

05:36or try to commit bodily harm to the deceased Kirk Robin?

05:40I object, Your Honor.

05:41Counsel is trying to lead the witness.

05:43Objections are safe.

05:46Mr. Howard, did you see Miss Gail Tempest in physical fight with Kirk Robin?

05:52If it pleases the court, may I suggest that counsel be instructed to allow the witness

05:56to testify to what he saw.

05:59I say, Jasper, what comes after 75?

06:0276.

06:02That's the spirit.

06:07Request granted.

06:09Proceed with the testimony.

06:10Mr. Howard, kindly tell the court what you know about the murder of Kirk Robin.

06:14Well, it was like this, Mr. Court.

06:16Address the judge as your honor.

06:18Well, it was like this, my honor.

06:19Your honor, not my honor.

06:22Why?

06:23Don't you like him?

06:25Allow the witness to proceed.

06:27The court understands him.

06:28Thanks, Court.

06:29You're a pal.

06:32Well, me and my pals, we're musicians.

06:34We were tearing up some hot swing music in the orchestra.

06:37Gail over there was swinging the fans.

06:39A sweetie, Kirk Robin, was inhaling a bottle of hooch at a table.

06:44And a hoofer by the name of Buck Wing was getting ready to shake his tootsies.

06:47Kindly speak English and drop the vernacular.

06:52Vernacular?

06:53That's a doibee.

06:55Drop the vernacular.

06:57No, no, not that.

06:59Talk so the jury can understand.

07:01Is everybody dumb?

07:03Say, Judgey, if you let me, my partner, and Gailie kind of act it out for you,

07:07we'll show you just what happened.

07:09If counsel doesn't object, that's an excellent idea.

07:11No objections.

07:12No objections.

07:13No objections.

07:16Okay, Gailie.

07:22Dear God.

07:44Dear God.

08:46I killed him!

08:58Oh!

08:59A field mouse!

09:00Stand back and slide the fight, kid.

09:03Tarantula,

09:04shot five holes in the divot.

09:06Get out of here.

09:07Go on.

09:08I'll sue you for this.

09:14Oh, superstitious, eh?

09:15Oh, vice I kid.

09:17Gentlemen, you must control your killing instincts.

09:21Proceed to the testimony, please.

09:23Proceed.

09:23Go on.

09:40That was sure hot, Moe.

09:42Hey, Larry.

09:51Listen.

09:51You got it.

10:10Please omit the rest of the entertainment and continue.

10:16Now, Galey's dance was over.

10:18I stuck my head in the office door,

10:20and I saw Kirk Robin and Buck Wing arguing over by the parrot cage.

10:24What were they arguing about?

10:25I don't know, but Buck Wing was sizzling like a hot hamburger.

10:28He grabs Kirk by the neck like that, see?

10:30And drags him over to the letterpress, see?

10:35Then he smacks him on the head like that.

10:37Then he pokes his coconut into the letterpress, see?

10:39Like that.

10:40Then he says,

10:41I'll squeeze the cider out of your Adam's apple.

10:44Then he gives him the works, like this.

10:48Then he keeps turning.

10:49And twists it.

10:53That leaves him, gentlemen, is it worth it?

11:00What's the matter?

11:08You want to kill me?

11:10Why, it's preposterous.

11:12When the police broke into the office,

11:13they found this woman, the defendant, Gail Tankas,

11:15bending over the body of a murdered man

11:17with a revolver clutching in her hand.

11:19Which only goes to prove that my client is innocent.

11:21Innocent?

11:22Exactly, and I'll prove it.

11:24Ladies and gentlemen,

11:25the action of this pistol is so hard,

11:28it would take the strength of a mule to pull the trigger.

11:32Try it.

11:33I'm no mule.

11:34No, your ears are too short.

11:36So I'm a mule.

11:38Pull the trigger.

11:41Never fear, it's not loaded.

11:43How could Gail Tempest's frail little finger

11:58pull the rusty trigger of that instrument of destruction?

12:01See, there was nothing in it.

12:02Ah!

12:06Oh, my God.

12:09Broad Lane, 9972.

12:13After five o'clock.

12:18Oh, my God.

12:18It's stuck.

12:19You, Ray.

12:21What's up?

12:25What'd you do with my button here?

12:27Give me that gun.

12:28What happened?

12:29Don't point that gun at me.

12:30What's up?

12:31What's up?

12:35Every man's for himself, guys.

12:36Here, take it, take it.

12:36Ah, there you are, boss.

12:38You was called to be a witness, wasn't you?

12:39Certainly.

12:40So was you.

12:41What are you butting in for?

12:42You're supposed to be a good one, ain't you?

12:44Well, ain't I?

12:44Now, what are you disturbing the court for?

12:47Here.

12:50Get going.

12:50Stop chewing that gum.

13:08It's frightening.

13:09Will you throw that gum away?

13:21Look, I got rid of it.

13:30Wait a minute.

13:30Hold still.

13:31I'll get it.

13:33Ow!

13:33Ow, my nose!

13:34Hey, you're in the court, not in the woods, Tarzan.

13:47Cut it out.

13:48Come on.

13:51Order in this court.

13:55Find the letter.

13:57Find the letter.

13:58What does this parrot mean by find the letter?

14:03There's a whole pile of letters there.

14:04Must be here.

14:08Look.

14:09There's a note tied to the parrot's foot.

14:12Come on, Polly, Polly, Polly, Polly.

14:14Come on, Polly, Polly, Polly.

14:15Come on, Polly, Polly, Polly.

14:16Come on.

14:17Ouch!

14:19Look out.

14:19Here it comes.

14:20Take that parrot.

14:21Take that parrot.

14:22Take that parrot.

14:23Wow.

14:23It's a terrible.

14:24Hey.

14:35Oh, my Stradivarius.

14:38Oh, my beautiful Stradivarius.

14:40Grab your ear.

14:42Come on.

14:42Ow!

14:43Ow!

14:45Ow!

14:48Ow!

14:49Find the letter.

14:51Find the letter.

14:52How do we get them out?

14:53Let's get some salt and put it on the stage.

14:54That's no way to get a parrot.

14:56You've got to wet his feathers so he can't fly.

14:58Oh, don't do nothing until you hear from me.

15:00Come on.

15:01Give me a hand.

15:04Wait a minute.

15:04Hold it.

15:05What do you mean?

15:10I object, Your Honor.

15:11Please proceed, this cartwheel.

15:16What's the idea?

15:17What's the idea?

15:17It's all real.

15:28Give me that one.

15:30You look, Your Honor.

15:31What?

15:32What?

15:33We got to get that parrot.

15:35Hey, you.

15:40Whoa.

15:41Shut that off.

15:46Wait a minute, I'll have to tell you nothing.

15:51Give me that.

15:52I got it.

15:53Got it?

15:55Get this.

15:57Who killed Kirk Robin?

15:58I killed Kirk Robin.

15:59And that was my little bow and arrow.

16:01Don't try to find me as I'm shuffling off the buffalo.

16:03Sign, Buckwing.

16:05Hooray!

16:06Hooray!

16:08Hooray!

16:09Hooray!

16:11Wait a minute, wait a minute.

16:14Just a second now.

16:18Now, ready?

16:20Hold it.

16:20Step forward.

16:26All right.

16:26Let's go.

16:40Let's go.

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