Suspense-S1E8: Dead Ernest
25min | Drama, Mystery, Thriller | TV Series (1949–1954)
Ernest Bowers suffers an attack of catalepsy while crossing the street, lapsing into a coma that resembles death. Believing he was killed by a passing car, his body is sent to the city morgue. His coat, with a note in the pocket describing his medical condition, is taken by the owner of a secondhand clothing store and quickly sold. The couple who purchase the jacket finds the note and begins a race to save Ernest from a premature embalming.
Stars: Rex Marshall, Robert Emhardt, John Baragrey
25min | Drama, Mystery, Thriller | TV Series (1949–1954)
Ernest Bowers suffers an attack of catalepsy while crossing the street, lapsing into a coma that resembles death. Believing he was killed by a passing car, his body is sent to the city morgue. His coat, with a note in the pocket describing his medical condition, is taken by the owner of a secondhand clothing store and quickly sold. The couple who purchase the jacket finds the note and begins a race to save Ernest from a premature embalming.
Stars: Rex Marshall, Robert Emhardt, John Baragrey
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00And now, Autolite and its 60,000 dealers and service stations everywhere present, Suspense.
00:20Suspense.
00:50You'll have to hurry. It's going to begin soon.
01:04One mojo, please. Thirty-five.
01:07Here you are, honey. Newsreel, sports short, travelogue, Bugs Bunny, and a double feature.
01:15By the time you get out, you'll have a double chin.
01:17I bet my double feature won't last any longer than your double header. Last time you went to Ebbets Field, the dinner was ruined.
01:24Oh, well, enjoy yourself.
01:27Ernest, you are wearing your disc, aren't you?
01:31Yes, dear.
01:32And the letter.
01:34Right here. And in my best handwriting, please open and read.
01:39It should be pinned to your pocket. You might lose it. You know you always take off your coat in a ball game.
01:45You are a fussy old hen.
01:47Well, I can't help worrying about you whenever you're out of my sight.
01:50Well, I wish you wouldn't. You perpetually remind me of my affliction.
01:54I'm sorry, Ernest, but I can't help it. Because every time you get excited, you're so likely to get an attack.
02:00Well, darling, I'm not going to get excited. It would probably be a very dull game. Derosier isn't with the Dodgers anymore.
02:06Now you go on in. Have a good romantic fling with Dennis Morgan.
02:11All right. Have a good game.
02:41What's the matter? What happened?
02:54I don't know. This is...
02:55Okay, okay. Get out of the way and keep moving. Give the guy some air.
03:01I can't see him. I swear I didn't see him.
03:09All right, all right. We'll go into that later.
03:14The guy's out cold. All right, get back and keep moving.
03:21I'm not getting out of here.
03:24Here, you, feed it over to that front door and call an ambulance.
03:27I've got to see something here.
03:30All right, ladies, let's get out of my way.
03:32We've got to prop him up. We can use his coat.
03:36I'm watching that.
03:38Now, be gentle. Put him down gently, please.
03:48Now, he's hurt badly.
03:49He can't be hurt badly, officer. I hardly touched him at all. I just tapped him gently.
03:55He must have been very gentle, but he ain't free.
04:01You can always tell it's happened when they fall over like this.
04:04Tell what's happened?
04:08That's what I do mean, pal.
04:10Your gentle little tap has knocked this guy right out of the slab in a morgue.
05:01The place reeks of mothballs. Let's get out. We won't find anything here.
05:05Well, we won't if we don't look.
05:07Oh, I don't know why I ever married such a determined woman.
05:10To bolster your stupefying character, sir.
05:13And what might you be looking for, Miss Reynolds?
05:15Oh, hello. My husband needs a sport.
05:18Oh, I see.
05:20Well, I've got to go.
05:22I'll see you later.
05:26And what might you be looking for, Miss Reynolds?
05:28Oh, hello. My husband needs a sport, Jack. It's something rather smart.
05:32Might I suggest he tries up a Crombie and Fitches?
05:35He would, if he wasn't an actor.
05:37Ah, the theater's a discouraging job, like me all.
05:40How right you are.
05:42Would you believe that my husband's been in three plays in the last season, and they've only run two weeks among them?
05:47Well, now he has a chance to do somersault, and in the very first play, he has to be a millionaire in Philadelphia.
05:53That's rubbing it in for sure.
05:55Oh, and how. That's why he needs a sport, Jack.
05:58Actors have to supply their own clothes, you know. Of course, it's very different here in...
06:01Look, Fran, Fran, I'm sure the gentleman isn't interested in my life story.
06:06Now, do you happen to have some kind of a coat that would be suitable for an idle playboy?
06:10Well, maybe.
06:13There's a gray herringbone over here might fit the bill with a little imagination.
06:18Oh.
06:19It looks quite fashionable, Hank.
06:21Well, millionaires are supposed to be very eccentric.
06:23They hate partying with a nickel and love hanging on to old clothes.
06:26The one in Philadelphia's story doesn't.
06:28He's perfectly normal.
06:32No.
06:33No, that would take too much imagination.
06:36It would strain it a bit.
06:38I guess I'll have to spend part of my first week's salary on a new one.
06:40Hey, what about this one?
06:43Looks hardly worn at all.
06:45Sexy, isn't it?
06:46Oh, that's not for sale, girly.
06:48Why not? Isn't it your own?
06:49Well, you see, I haven't put it into my stock yet.
06:52I picked it up only this morning.
06:54In fact, I was just given the spit and polish when you came in.
06:58There's stains on the collar.
07:00Red wine, by the looks of them.
07:02Oh, I could get them off as well as you.
07:03I know all of the tricks.
07:05Anyway, they wouldn't show up under footlight.
07:07Put your hands inside out.
07:13Very elegant.
07:14You look right out of escort.
07:17How much do you want for it?
07:18Eight dollars, as is.
07:19Well, it's very reasonable.
07:20I think I'll take it.
07:21You will not.
07:22Why, eight dollars for a horrible, old, stained bit of junk like that?
07:26Here you are.
07:27Five dollars, as is.
07:29Take it or leave it.
07:31Well, seeing your pretty Irish eyes, I won't argue with you.
07:35Shall I wrap it up for you?
07:36Oh, no, thank you.
07:37Besides, you might charge us for the Scotch tape.
07:40Thank you very much.
07:41Goodbye.
07:42Bye-bye.
07:48Goodbye.
08:03You know, honey, that was a real bargain.
08:07But I can't figure out why he let it go so cheaply.
08:10Why, it must have cost at least 75 bucks new.
08:13Yes, and it's pleasant, darling.
08:15It is my pretty Irish eyes.
08:17Well, that was certainly a ham performance of a stingy housewife that you gave.
08:21Look, Fran, you know it upsets me.
08:22Why do you do it?
08:23Oh, you're too inhibited.
08:26You know, I don't think these are wine stains.
08:29They don't seem to be coming out at all.
08:31You wouldn't be at all surprised if they were blood stains.
08:34Maybe the old crook bumped off the owner.
08:37I wouldn't put anything past that character.
08:38Wait a minute.
08:39There's something stuck in here.
08:41It must be a very important document for someone to pin it to their person.
08:45They obviously didn't want to lose it.
08:48Please open and read.
08:50Maybe we've come into money.
08:52I carry this wherever I go.
08:54It is to advise responsible parties that I am a cataleptic.
09:00My body must not be molested for a period of 72 hours,
09:04neither by autopsy nor by embalming.
09:08The maximum periods of my attack seldom exceed four hours.
09:12Please telephone my wife, Mrs. Margaret Bowers, at Gramercy 9-8-9-8-9.
09:17If she is not at home, try Dr. McKenzie, Plaza 3-6-7-6-2.
09:22This is of vital importance.
09:25It may mean my life.
09:28Ernest Bowers.
09:30Well, what do you know?
09:34Oh, it's probably just a gag.
09:37Against whom?
09:38Darling, what is a cataleptic, exactly?
09:41Oh, don't ask me.
09:42I went to a dramatic school, not John Hopkins.
09:44Well, let's look it up in the dictionary.
09:52Catacomb, catapow, cataleptic.
09:55Here we are, cataleptic.
09:57A bodily condition marked by suspension of sensation and muscular rigidity.
10:04A seizure closely resembling death in all aspects,
10:10including the primary stages of rigor mortis.
10:13That's a grim thought.
10:15Now look, Fran, don't start getting any ideas.
10:18The owner probably just forgot to remove the letter when he sold the coat.
10:21This doesn't sound like something someone would easily forget.
10:24Hey, I wonder if he did sell it to the Irishman.
10:26Fran, why shouldn't he have?
10:27Well, in the first place, it looks too new.
10:29In the second place, there are those spots.
10:31And if they are, well, I think they are blood.
10:33Well, then there might have been an accident.
10:37Oh, Henry.
10:39In that case, I can think of awful things happening.
10:41Yes, I know, but don't.
10:43Now look, Fran, if the man was injured,
10:45he was probably taken to a hospital and treated.
10:47Yes, but think.
10:49Supposing somehow he got separated from his curtain
10:52and then had one of these attacks.
10:54Well, then they might presume he was dead
10:56and perform an autopsy or whatever they do.
10:59Well, in that case, the man's been buried for days.
11:01Uh-uh. The shopkeeper said he'd only just got the coat.
11:04Well, then Mrs. Bowers must have sold it after her husband's death.
11:08Well, I think I've telephoned her anyway.
11:18I've got an awful premonition.
11:20You and your premonitions.
11:26No answer.
11:27No answer.
11:28Well, go ahead.
11:29Go on, call up the doctor.
11:31It'll put that dizzy mind of yours at rest.
11:33I was intending to.
11:34Hey, you know, Fran, you ought to give up acting.
11:36Write mystery stories.
11:38You might be more successful.
11:39Oh, I could hardly be less.
11:41Hello, is Dr. McKenzie there, please?
11:43Oh, is this his nurse?
11:46Oh, I see.
11:49Have you any idea of when he will be there?
11:53Oh.
11:55Thank you. Thank you very much.
11:58He's away on vacation, motoring down south.
12:01Said it was just his arm-string service.
12:03Well, that's that.
12:04We've come to a dead end.
12:06Yes.
12:08But I can't help thinking...
12:11...his earnest vow has come to a dead end, too.
12:25There he goes.
12:26There's the throwdown.
12:28He's safe. Jackie Robinson's safe.
12:31That's the fifth base he's stolen this season, folks.
12:33Oh, how that boy can run.
12:35Pleasure to watch him keep a run.
12:38Well, that brings us to our...
12:46Hey, tell her there.
12:47Shh.
12:48Supercenter, another accident bound for you.
12:50Came in from the hospital a few minutes ago.
12:53No identification.
12:54Holy cow.
12:55Why do so many people have to get knocked off on Saturday afternoons?
12:59Don't they know I'm the only one on duty?
13:01The general public likes to keep its city employees busy.
13:05Hey.
13:06You know, I'm going to ask for a raise.
13:08I've done five jobs today already.
13:10Think of the artistic pleasure you get.
13:12Remember what the super says.
13:14Embalming ain't just hack work, boys.
13:17It's an art.
13:18Why, when you get through with the stiff, Tony...
13:21It looks more lively than when it was alive.
13:24Go lay on a slab.
13:36Nice looking young fellow.
13:38You'll do a beautiful job on him.
13:40You'll have to wait.
13:42I'm not going to lift a finger until I hear the rest of that ball game.
13:45Suit yourself, bud.
13:47But the super says you've got to finish this one before you quit for the day.
14:18Now, continuing this story of suspense,
14:21we bring you the second act of Dead Earnest.
14:33Nor a first-class human being
14:35until you've learned to have some regard for...
14:39for human frailty.
14:43It's a pity your own foot can't slip a little some...
14:47Hey, honey, come out of the ether.
14:49You're dropping more peas in the rug than in the pot.
14:54Honey, I can't stand it a moment longer.
14:56I've got to find out why that man got this coat.
14:58But, honey, it's after five o'clock.
15:00The shop will be closed.
15:01Well, it may not be. I'm going over there anyway.
15:03You stay here and study your lines.
15:05Oh, no. Whither thou goest, I go.
15:07End of quote.
15:08Oh, good.
15:09Besides, I can show off my new coat.
15:10Come on, then. Let's hurry.
15:20Back in a few minutes.
15:21That probably means an hour,
15:22if I know an Irishman's sense of time.
15:24Let's go to the drugstore and call up Mrs. Bowers.
15:41Come on.
15:50She looks as though she's settled there for the weekend.
15:52Now, take it easy, Fran.
15:53Don't get so intense about everything.
15:55I can't help it. I've got a single-track mind.
15:57There, I think she's finished now.
16:02You're an optimist.
16:03She's looking for more change.
16:05You know, I had an instinct she was a telephone hog.
16:07Now, relax, Fran.
16:08She'll run out of nickels eventually.
16:10Well, eventually seems to be now a break for a change.
16:14I'm coming right back.
16:16All right.
16:17I'll wait for you.
16:18Now, look, Fran.
16:19Be careful how you handle this thing.
16:21Because if your hunch is right,
16:23and there is something screwy with it,
16:25you might give us Mrs. Bowers an awful shock.
16:28No luck.
16:33Let's go back to the shop and see if that man's back yet.
16:36Oh, Mr. Murdoch, I'm so glad you're back.
17:06Ah, the young lady with the Irish eye.
17:08And what would you be wanting this time?
17:10You sold my husband's jacket this afternoon, remember?
17:12Yes, I remember. I practically gave it to the man.
17:15It had some stains on it.
17:17Sure, I told you that. Now, don't tell me you're asking me to take it back.
17:20Second-hand goods are not returnable, girly.
17:22No, we don't want to return it.
17:24Those were bloodstains. They want to know where you got it.
17:27And what business might that be of yours?
17:30Maybe a matter of life or death.
17:31Oh, come on now, you're exaggerating.
17:33Why, sure, you are not.
17:35Well, I don't remember where I got the thing.
17:39Oh, that's nonsense.
17:40Now, look, you told us you picked it up this morning.
17:42You must have a very short memory.
17:44Hold your horses. What is this, the third degree?
17:47I want to know.
17:48We just want an answer to my question.
17:51Where did you get that coat?
17:53Then you answer me one of me own.
17:55Why is it you have to know?
17:57There was a letter pinned in the pocket saying that the owner of the coat had attacked us.
18:01Which make him seem to be dead when he's really only in some sort of a trance.
18:04Now, sometimes they take unidentified corpses to the morgue where they embalm them and drain all the blood out of them.
18:10You wouldn't want that to happen to someone who is alive, would you?
18:14Indeed, I would not, my dearie.
18:16Devil, I bet I'd never have touched that thing if I'd known there was a curse on it.
18:21I'd have left it lying on the street before I found it.
18:24Well, you just found it in the street.
18:27Well, you see, there was an accident.
18:30Now we're getting something.
18:31So it was an injured person's coat.
18:33Now, look, how did you get the coat off?
18:35They propped his head up on it, and when the ambulance took him away, they just...
18:38Where was this and when?
18:40After lunch, West 12th Street, opposite Granny's Movie Theater.
18:44Come on, let's go back to the drugstore.
18:46Oh, for the love of God, don't give me away to the police.
18:49Young lady, you...
18:52This is the devil of a business.
18:57Look up the number of the City Mall while I call Mrs. Bowers, will you?
19:21Hello? Hello? Hello?
19:25Oh, nuts. Somebody save my breath.
19:37Second game for doubleheader here at Evans Field, folks.
19:40Hey, Super's gone home.
19:43He says you can go home, too, when you finish that accident.
19:46Hey, Super's gone home.
19:48He says you can go home, too, when you finish that accident.
19:51Oh, I haven't even started on it yet.
19:53Why don't you work and listen at the same time?
19:55Oh, I like to concentrate on my art.
19:58Hey, what do you say? I'll stick around and give me a hand, will you?
20:00I'll get through that much more quickly.
20:02Okay.
20:06Don't answer it.
20:07If you do the hospital, send me another stiff, and I'll be here all night.
20:11But, Tony, it's my job.
20:12Please, please, don't answer it.
20:14Okay, I'll leave the receiver off the hook.
20:17They'll think it's busy and get tired.
20:20Thanks.
20:21You're a doll.
20:22What do you want me to do?
20:23Move the table over here while I get into my mother-hubbit.
20:33What did I do with that scalpel?
20:44I must try spraying my roses with this stuff.
20:48Ought to knock the buds for a loop.
20:54Oh, I can't understand if the line's continuously busy.
20:58Maybe the line's out of order.
21:00Call the operator.
21:05Hello, hello, operator.
21:06Look, I've been trying to get the number of the city mall for about half an hour.
21:10There must be something wrong with our city.
21:15Well, uh, we'll need that bottle.
21:18Huh?
21:19No.
21:20Oh.
21:21Yeah.
21:45Oh.
21:57Good boy.
21:58Here.
22:07Uh, I think I'll make the incision in the neck.
22:11I thought you were supposed to stick this thing in the abdomen.
22:14Oh, I like to vary my work.
22:18Hand me a piece of gauze, will you?
22:36Don't answer it.
22:38Okay.
22:40You know, he didn't have any clothes on, any coat on when they brought him in here.
22:45And that's very funny because he doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would be caught dead within his shirt sleeves.
22:52Huh.
22:53I, I can't see a darn thing.
22:55My, my glasses are all clouded up.
22:59Must be steamy in here.
23:00Turn the fan on, will you, Al?
23:02Cold and clammy, if you ask me.
23:06Funny.
23:07You wouldn't think that a little thing like a heart stopping would make a man dead and not alive.
23:15My, my glasses are all clouded up again.
23:19I, I wonder.
23:26Hello, mortuary, caretaker speaking.
23:29Yes.
23:31What?
23:35Say that again, lady.
23:38There's some dame on the phone babbling about some guy with no coat that may not be dead.
23:45Hey, wait a minute.
23:47I was just getting the same idea.
23:49What's that?
23:50Come here, Al.
23:52Take a look at this guy.
23:55Am I crazy?
23:57Aren't his lips moving?
24:01Yeah.
24:03He's crazy.
24:04Hello.
24:05Hello, please, hello.
24:07Why don't you answer me?
24:09You've got a live man there.
24:11Oh, my God.
24:12Get a hold of that dame that's on the phone.
24:14Tell her to come down here.
24:16Maybe she can identify him.
24:18Oh.
24:33Oh.
24:52Thank you, Margaret Phillips and Todd Andrews, for a splendid performance in Dead Earnest.
25:02Be with us next Tuesday to see Postmortem, another gripping story in suspense.
25:07Be sure to listen to suspense each Thursday night on your radio.