"I only let my daughter go to sleepovers if I've vetted the adults there - my work as a child abuse detective led me to be wary"
- last year
A mum restricted her daughter from going to sleepovers at her friends houses after her work as a child abuse detective led her to be wary of other children and adults.
Kristi McVee, 42, decided to specialise in child protection after the birth of her daughter, 15, and says the job shaped the way she raised her.
She only let her daughter go to sleepovers if she knows there won't be any unfamiliar adults present and she's vetted safe adults beforehand.
Instead she would hold sleepovers at her home where she could keep a close eye - up until her daughter was 12-years-old.
Kristi would personally vet any new people in her daughter's life she knew she'd be spending one-on-one time with - including friends and potential partners.
Her internet usage would be closely monitored, and Kristi implemented bans on her daughter signing up for social media until she became a teenager.
In the decade she worked as a child abuse detective, Kristi dealt with hundreds of “devastating cases” - including “child molestation from family members, dropped cases and cases involving children as young as four.”
She says her time in the police made her "extra protective" over her daughter and unable to "blindly trust" anyone in her life.
Kristi, from Bunbury, Western Australia, a retired detective, said: “I would be the one to hold the sleepovers - because I’m trustworthy and I knew I could keep her safe.
“If I was holding a sleepover, there wouldn’t be any other adults present at my house.
“I’ve seen several cases where a sleepover has happened at the same time as the parents throwing a party for other adults - and a member of the party has sexually assaulted one of the young girls staying over.
“If my daughter did want to go on a sleepover - I’d have a thorough vetting process. I’d ask questions such as - ‘Who’s going?' and 'What are you going to be doing?”
"Are they going to be allowed on devices, or are they going to be taken away at a certain stage?"
According to Kristi, who retired from Western Australia Police Force in 2020, other adults aren’t the only people who need to be vetted before a sleepover.
In Australia, 30 to 50 per cent of child sex abuse cases are perpetrated by other children. In the UK, the figure currently sits at 60 per cent.
Kristi said: “In most cases, the abuser will be a relative, friend or sibling within the home.
“I used to see it all the time on the job - and it’s not only boys who do it, girls can be perpetrators, too.
“Brothers, cousins and friends are the most common.”
Kristi says “unrestricted access to the internet” and porn could be contributing to the influx of under-18s displaying “harmful sexual behaviours.”
She said: “Most children in Australia are being exposed to pornography by the age of nine - unrestricted access to the internet is allowing children to see and hear things that aren’t meant for them.
Kristi has now published a book, Operation Kidsafe: A Detective's Guide to Child Abuse Prevention.
Kristi McVee, 42, decided to specialise in child protection after the birth of her daughter, 15, and says the job shaped the way she raised her.
She only let her daughter go to sleepovers if she knows there won't be any unfamiliar adults present and she's vetted safe adults beforehand.
Instead she would hold sleepovers at her home where she could keep a close eye - up until her daughter was 12-years-old.
Kristi would personally vet any new people in her daughter's life she knew she'd be spending one-on-one time with - including friends and potential partners.
Her internet usage would be closely monitored, and Kristi implemented bans on her daughter signing up for social media until she became a teenager.
In the decade she worked as a child abuse detective, Kristi dealt with hundreds of “devastating cases” - including “child molestation from family members, dropped cases and cases involving children as young as four.”
She says her time in the police made her "extra protective" over her daughter and unable to "blindly trust" anyone in her life.
Kristi, from Bunbury, Western Australia, a retired detective, said: “I would be the one to hold the sleepovers - because I’m trustworthy and I knew I could keep her safe.
“If I was holding a sleepover, there wouldn’t be any other adults present at my house.
“I’ve seen several cases where a sleepover has happened at the same time as the parents throwing a party for other adults - and a member of the party has sexually assaulted one of the young girls staying over.
“If my daughter did want to go on a sleepover - I’d have a thorough vetting process. I’d ask questions such as - ‘Who’s going?' and 'What are you going to be doing?”
"Are they going to be allowed on devices, or are they going to be taken away at a certain stage?"
According to Kristi, who retired from Western Australia Police Force in 2020, other adults aren’t the only people who need to be vetted before a sleepover.
In Australia, 30 to 50 per cent of child sex abuse cases are perpetrated by other children. In the UK, the figure currently sits at 60 per cent.
Kristi said: “In most cases, the abuser will be a relative, friend or sibling within the home.
“I used to see it all the time on the job - and it’s not only boys who do it, girls can be perpetrators, too.
“Brothers, cousins and friends are the most common.”
Kristi says “unrestricted access to the internet” and porn could be contributing to the influx of under-18s displaying “harmful sexual behaviours.”
She said: “Most children in Australia are being exposed to pornography by the age of nine - unrestricted access to the internet is allowing children to see and hear things that aren’t meant for them.
Kristi has now published a book, Operation Kidsafe: A Detective's Guide to Child Abuse Prevention.