Zucchini Noodles - You Suck at Cooking (episode 42)
Category
🦄
CreativityTranscript
00:00 First thing you do whenever you cook with zucchini is milk it.
00:03 You don't want to leave all that excess moisture inside the zucchini,
00:07 otherwise whatever you're cooking could turn out soggy.
00:11 ♫ You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck ♫
00:15 Definition of a noodle is a strip, ring, or tube of pasta or a similar dough
00:21 typically made with egg and usually eaten with a sauce or in a soup.
00:25 We'll just take that and throw it into the recycling.
00:30 You'll need a few pieces of equipment to make zucchini noodles,
00:33 a julienne peeler, a zucchini.
00:35 Slide the julienne peeler across.
00:39 Boom, noodles.
00:41 You may have seen me make a cucumber guitar before,
00:43 but don't bother making a zucchini guitar because they never stay in tune
00:50 and they don't even have a good tone.
00:53 This is really the easy part.
00:55 The hard part is actually hunting the zucchini.
00:57 Ow, f*ck.
01:00 Okay, this is the hard part.
01:02 These masters of disguise only come out at night and they're nearly impossible to see,
01:06 but during mating season with thermal imaging,
01:09 their bodies heat up just enough that you can...
01:12 Oh, look at that.
01:14 There we go.
01:15 Alright.
01:16 Luckily, when they're mating, they're pretty much oblivious to anything.
01:20 [Zucchini squeals]
01:21 Oh, there she goes.
01:26 We're going to make the dressing.
01:27 You're going to want avocado, basil, a lemon, just a little bit of garlic,
01:32 half a clove, some salt, pepper, pepper, pepper,
01:36 and I'm just going to put a touch of a sweet thing.
01:38 You want to get that into your food processor of choice.
01:41 I'm using the food processor Tron 2.7.
01:44 I'm just going to get this going and you want to mix it until it's nice and creamy.
01:48 And--oh, shit, I ran out of film.
01:53 Okay, there we go.
01:54 So, that's looking pretty good.
01:56 Oh, this stuff is so good.
01:57 The key is lots of basil.
01:59 We are going to throw some of this in here.
02:01 Just wang-jangle this together.
02:03 That doesn't work very well.
02:05 Oh, there we go.
02:06 Yeah, just wang-jangle it with a fork instead of a wang-jangler.
02:09 To serve it, you're going to take a potato.
02:12 I'm just going to carve a quick human head.
02:14 Once you've got your head looking as realistic as possible,
02:17 simply drape it over the head.
02:20 You don't want to get too meticulous, perhaps a little wind-swept.
02:23 Just sort of trumpet on there in a random, unpredictable pile of confusion.
02:27 This is just the traditional method, but in my opinion, it's also the most delicious.
02:32 Oh, damn it.
02:34 ♪ The zucchini is gross ♪
02:37 ♪ It's the vegetable I hate the most ♪
02:42 ♪ Except for eggplant ♪
02:44 ♪ F*** eggplant ♪
02:46 ♪ It always ends up a soggy mess ♪
02:48 ♪ You'd think that we'd be doing better than that ♪
02:53 ♪ If you make it soggy, then you can f*** off ♪
02:56 ♪
03:07 ♪ I'm not sorry that I'm telling the truth about zucchini ♪
03:11 ♪ 'Cause the best way for you to cook zucchini ♪
03:14 ♪ Is with a better gallon of kerosene ♪
03:17 ♪ Then light that s*** up ♪
03:19 ♪