7 Ways to Chop an Onion - You Suck at Cooking (episode 9)
Transcript
00:00 You suck at cooking, yeah, you totally suck
00:04 Today I'm going to show you several different ways to dice an onion
00:08 Cut the onion in half that way, peel it
00:12 Leave the nub on, then slice this way
00:17 Slice this way
00:21 Careful here, your knife has to be sharp or it'll slide. Chop your fingers off
00:29 Congratulations, you did a great job
00:31 This next technique was the main way people chopped things before the 40s when knives were invented and what you want to do is
00:36 Just firmly throw it against the wall
00:38 From there you can just grab each other individual piece and and chuck that against the wall to make it more fine
00:45 The next technique you'll only be able to do if you have a yellow belt in taekwondo like me
00:54 And if you beat your cousin Chris to win first place at the St. Clair College tournament
00:58 Then you'll be able to pull this one off. So what you want to do is just line up your hand and give it a good
01:03 Look at that
01:06 That is a nice clean hit right there
01:08 All right, next technique is pretty straightforward
01:11 You want to take your knife, you get a double-a battery and you touch the positive end to the knife to get the electricity flowing
01:17 You just want to come up and touch
01:19 See I made the classic blender of not peeling it first so now I'm gonna have to go through and
01:28 Take the skin off don't be stupid like me
01:30 This next one will be easy for you. If you have a breakdancing background, it's definitely advanced
01:35 It sometimes takes a few tries, but you're just trying to get
01:37 sort of on the floor
01:39 Trying to hit the right spot
01:43 There we go
01:46 This is one of my favorites because it relies on the power of sound what you want to do is put some headphones on the
01:51 onion and then you just dial in the specific frequency of nickel back and
01:56 This
01:57 Next one relies on pressure. You want to take a really small frying pan and you got to hit it
02:01 Just hard enough to shatter but do not go too hard. So you want to just wind up and just give it a nice firm strike
02:08 Damn it. See I went too hard and I got black beans. You go even harder than that. You end up with corn
02:15 so
02:16 the last technique relies on centrifugal force what you want to do is wind up and give your onion a good spin and
02:22 All that happens is you end up making your onion dizzy and you should probably have more respect for your onion than that
02:27 Considering what you're about to put it through. Okay. Bye
02:29 You suck at cooking. Oh my god, you suck you suck
02:37 at
02:39 Cooking. Oh my god, you suck so
02:43 much
02:45 at cooking you suck so
02:48 much
02:51 at cooking you
02:53 *outro*
02:55 (upbeat music)
02:57 [thud]