Pumpkin Pie - You Suck at Cooking (episode 68)
Transcript
00:00 So we're gonna work with wild pumpkins today. The way you get one is you go into the forest and take a
00:05 medium-length cardboard tube and you just want to give it a little
00:08 *roar*
00:10 I'll just give this a minute and oh here comes one
00:14 Come on. Come on, buddy
00:17 Come see if we can get him to jump right in my hand
00:19 Come on little guy
00:21 There we go. Look at this little ragamuffin
00:24 *crunch*
00:26 You suck at cooking. Yeah, you totally suck
00:30 So we're gonna get the pie crust ready here. You want to take four or five slices of whole grain bread
00:36 Cut off the crust and then gently press those into a pie shell
00:40 just keep spinning and pressing until you get a nice smooth texture and then brush off the extra crusticles and
00:48 There's your shell. So we're gonna take our wild pumpkin and cut the top off and slide that can out
00:55 give it a good rinse to get the guts off it and
00:57 Get that pumpkin into a bowl
01:01 We're gonna throw in two bagged eggs
01:03 3/4 a cup of white sugar. This will help the pie to taste just a touch sweeter half a teaspoon of salt and the spices
01:10 This part's uh
01:14 Little bit sad for me when I got the recipe from my mom
01:16 She said it takes one teaspoon of cinnamon one teaspoon of ground ginger and a quarter teaspoon of cloves
01:23 Or and I quote I used two and a quarter teaspoons a pumpkin pie spice
01:29 Huh just out here trying to come to terms with the fact that I've been eating the pumpkin pie of shortcuts my whole life
01:36 here I thought my mom isn't afraid to get her elbows greasy and
01:39 Now I know she just likes to take the easy way out and the sad thing about it
01:44 Is that if you combine these spices, which is super easy and then compare it to the pumpkin pie space
01:50 *sips*
01:52 So we're gonna use two and a quarter teaspoons of pumpkin pie spice
01:57 And we just want to wing-jangle this together really good
02:00 And once you've got that mixed pouring it into another bowl is totally unnecessary
02:04 In my family, we usually add the cream directly from the udder of a cow, but since I can't fit a cow in my kitchen
02:10 I've got this condiment squeezer and I'm just gonna squeeze the udder while I slowly mix in the cream
02:15 Until that's way soupier than you would ever expect you're gonna be like no ways
02:20 There's a pie filling but guess what you're wrong. It's a pie filling once that's nice and smooth
02:24 You're just gonna pour that in the pie shell and make sure you don't go too far to the top because this is basically a bowl
02:31 Of water undoes on 420 fundo
02:33 We're gonna cook that for 15 minutes at this hot temperature so that way we can get
02:37 Maximum crispy crust to toot and then after 15 minutes, you're gonna lower that to
02:43 350 and you'll bake that between 30 and 45 minutes
02:47 The way you're gonna test this by checking for the wobble
02:50 You want to just give it a hit and if there's still a significant wobble that pies not cooked all the way through
02:55 You want some turgidity and the resistance of the wobbliness and jiggliness of the pumpkin pie filling?
03:01 That's how you know it's done
03:02 And then once it's done you want to leave that to sit for at least an hour if not longer
03:06 And then all you have to do is decide how you want to whip cream it
03:10 You can do the Mohawk the fluffy bed cloud the stupid feel free to do the rim job
03:15 You can go with the nihilist the volcano
03:18 or the anarchist
03:21 Pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin pie
03:25 Get it in the season when everything dies
03:28 Shove it in your face and try not to cry
03:31 When you eat that pumpin' pumpkin pie
03:34 My heart is sunkin', shoulders slumpin'
03:37 'Cause I can't get enough pumpkin pie
03:41 Pie! Pie! Pie!
03:46 *thud*
03:47 [BLANK_AUDIO]