Pea Salad - You Suck at Cooking (episode 62)
Transcript
00:00 You suck at peas. Yeah, you totally suck.
00:03 Step one to making this salad is to take an extra large sized pea and then give that a good roll.
00:09 Now, these are not bite-sized, so you're gonna want to break them down a little more than that.
00:16 Then you want to take an extra large sized radish and also give that a nice shove.
00:27 [chopping]
00:29 These are a perfect chopping size now. Fun fact about radishes, this is where red skittles come from.
00:35 Kind of regret that I'm off sugar right now.
00:39 Now quickly rinse off the vegetables natural disgustitude.
00:42 I like to cut them into little sticks. You can cut them however you want.
00:47 You can do quarters, which is probably too big. Maybe eighths is more your size or 1/16.
00:53 You can also get creative and cut a perfect square or an isosceles triangle or you can go scalene.
00:59 The radish rhombus is super trendy right now.
01:02 You can scare the bejesus out of somebody by carving a wild poison-tailed radish.
01:07 You could chop them into the shape of a guy or in the shape of a guy holding a helium balloon.
01:13 Or in the shape of a guy hula-hooping.
01:15 Or in the shape of a guy doing a sweet christ dare off a lawn tramp.
01:19 Totally radish-cool. Or in the shape of a guy who's fishing and he's having a really good day because he caught this sweet fish
01:25 that's being chased by this really fast electric eel.
01:28 But it's a bad day because he missed out on this treasure that was just below the fish he caught.
01:32 And it gets worse than that because he was parked illegally on the dock.
01:35 So he got a ticket and also he had some investments and the stock market just crashed. And also the fish's wife is home.
01:42 She's worried sick about her husband.
01:44 She's wondering when he's gonna come home.
01:47 But he's never gonna come home.
01:49 No matter what she does.
01:51 And that's the sad truth about how you should never play with radishes.
01:56 For the dressing i'm gonna take some olive oil.
02:05 Whoa, no, no, no, no, no. The stopper came off inside the cap. For the dressing let's take some olive oil.
02:12 There we go. More like that. Gonna go with some apple cider vinegar.
02:17 A little bit of Dijon. And a squeeze of lemon.
02:20 And some pepper pepper pepper.
02:24 A little too much vinegar, but it's still good.
02:27 Now we're gonna put the peas on the boil. If you're using fresh peas
02:31 you only want to boil them for about a minute or so. If you overdo it
02:35 you lose a lot of flavor and they get too mushy. So i'm gonna set a timer so I don't overcook them.
02:40 Take a bunch of mint leaves.
02:45 And chop these up.
02:47 That's pretty good.
02:50 Oh, the peas must be ready.
02:53 Let's get these off the heat and rinse them under cold water so they stop cooking.
02:57 Now we're gonna combine everything. Got our peas.
03:01 Our radishes. Let's pour the dressing in. Get that mint in there. Stir this up a bit.
03:06 Now pour a small glass of milk into a white bowl.
03:12 Give that a quick stir and you end up with feta cheese.
03:15 There you have it. Delicious pea radish feta salad. Remember this is a summer dish
03:23 so you're gonna want to be wearing your sunscreen when you eat it. And remember when you make this, don't listen to the haters.
03:28 Someone comes around and says "Hey, I heard pea salad is for weaklings." You just look them in the eye and you tell them
03:34 "I'm the kind of guy who likes a pea salad every once in a while. I'm not gonna eat it every day of the week, but you can bet your ass that it'll disappear if it's in front of me."
03:45 Peas.
03:48 Please wanna live in a world where they grow on trees? Yeah, I'd cross the seas. I'd drop to my knees.
03:54 I'd even go to the store and buy a bag of peas.
03:58 You suck at peas.
04:00 [splat]
04:02 [BLANK_AUDIO]