Honey Roasted Carrots - You Suck at Cooking (episode 75)
Category
🦄
CreativityTranscript
00:00 You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck!
00:03 There's a lot to like about carrots.
00:05 They're aerodynamic, they're hydrodynamic, they're ground dynamic, and they're a friend
00:12 to plants and animals everywhere.
00:14 They make a great first class lever, an excellent second class lever, but they're garbage as
00:19 a third class lever.
00:21 They're also one of the stabbiest vegetables on the planet.
00:24 Take that paper.
00:27 Take that wall.
00:29 Take that you no good flimsy piece of tin, can, that is really useful.
00:35 The only other vegetable that's more dangerous is the parsheve.
00:39 Ow!
00:42 Oh yeah!
00:44 Carrots also have very unique acoustical properties.
00:49 They're completely silent when blowing in the wind.
00:52 Guess what else?
00:53 You can eat these things.
00:54 So we're going to take these and we're going to put them in the water, right?
00:57 Wrong!
00:58 Why aren't we going to do that?
01:00 Because baking is better than boiling!
01:02 That's right!
01:03 Now you say it!
01:05 Great, we're not putting them in hot water because we don't want to suck out a bunch
01:09 of the nutrients and flavor, do we?
01:11 No!
01:12 Good.
01:13 Now let's get this puppy warmed up.
01:16 Okay!
01:18 Aw, come on!
01:22 It's like every couple months I gotta...
01:28 Hundo's on 400 and it's silent because it's electric.
01:32 We're just going to give these a quick rinse, then wrap them in swaddling clothes and lay
01:37 them in a pan.
01:38 We're going to drizzle some olive oil on the daggers, add in some salt, a bit of triple
01:42 P, and a little bit of honey.
01:44 Don't go crazy!
01:45 The reason honey works so well on carrots is because carrots contain a little bit of
01:48 sugar so when you add an external sugar source it cancels out and then you end up with sugar-free
01:54 carrots, I'm pretty sure.
01:56 Don't forget to both cross-rastle and side-rastle to make sure they're evenly coated.
01:59 Maybe it'll be a little more comfortable if we put them in the 16 head-to-toe position.
02:04 If you don't have these small carrots and you only have the big-ass ones, there's an
02:07 easy solution.
02:09 Take them out to the barn.
02:11 Grab your best carving knife and whittle them down to the size God intended carrots to be.
02:17 No bigger, no smaller.
02:19 It's just right.
02:21 Walk the land.
02:23 Check the trees.
02:26 Think about Judy.
02:27 Wonder what life would have been like had you been a better man.
02:37 You can also just take a big-ass carrot and smash it against the wall.
02:39 If you only have these super baby carrots, you can compress them with your hands until
02:43 you get one biblically correct-sized carrot.
02:46 If you and another person are cooking honey-roasted carrots in the same onion, on the same day,
02:50 at the same time, just use your wood burner to make your carrots distinguishable with
02:54 unique symbols.
02:56 So I had these things in for 25 minutes.
02:58 I'm just gonna check them with a fork.
03:00 Well, I was gonna rassle them and get the other side charred, but these puppies are
03:05 done.
03:06 These ones turned out pretty good too.
03:09 Notice the variety of colors.
03:11 Admire the sheen.
03:13 Feel the warmth.
03:14 Absorb the essence.
03:15 Be mystified by their very existence.
03:18 And bask in the glory of the honey-roasted carrot.
03:48 [music]
03:56 [music]