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00:00 Jughead 2016 16.
00:03 Right away we have a plot that has no excuse for lasting longer than one second
00:07 because Sabrina can see a bunch of girls who are brainwashed to be in love with Jughead
00:12 so she would have just undone the spell in an instant.
00:15 Just have Sabrina unaware of the spell until the end where he'd call her about this.
00:21 Jughead thinks of the girls as zombies and it's to the point where they're sadly drawn like it.
00:27 As the story is supremely boring being nothing but him running away.
00:32 Why does he waste time covering himself in cherry soda and pretending to be a zombie
00:37 if a second later he's gonna say other words than brains anyways?
00:41 So that would have given it away even if it had a chance of working.
00:46 He knows they're not really zombies.
00:48 He's called out on it.
00:51 And finally Reggie saves him getting him to hide with him.
00:54 It's nine pages in it already.
00:57 That's how little actual plot there was.
01:01 It's so obvious they shouldn't be allowed to have Sabrina's stories last so long
01:05 because it could have cut most of these pages just fine.
01:09 Jughead thanks Reggie and I'm assuming he's only saving him to pull a "You owe me."
01:15 Well it is unique that Reggie's the one who always has his eyes closed.
01:21 So I can see why they did it.
01:24 It's very confusing to be like Jughead shouldn't always have his eyes closed
01:31 because that's unrealistic. How would he be able to see?
01:34 Oh but let's have Reggie always have his eyes closed.
01:38 That makes total sense.
01:40 Well then why change the way Jughead's eyes look then?
01:44 Archie's dialogue is stupid.
01:46 He'd know Jughead would never want these girls to go after him.
01:50 Sabrina's about to tell them the truth which is forced and dumb
01:54 because she clearly said in an earlier story that she'd go to magic jail forever if she did that.
02:00 Did the writers not get briefed on that?
02:04 Reggie says it's got to be the fault of a wannabe CIA agent Agent Stanger out for revenge.
02:12 Because he used hypno music before to turn Archie's class into sleeper agents.
02:17 But even Jughead beat him.
02:20 What the hell kind of messed up wacky plot is that for Archie?
02:25 Archie's story is supposed to be mundane slice of life
02:29 with only Sabrina and the occasional alien to spice things up.
02:33 This comes off like they ran out of Archie ideas.
02:37 And this is only referenced to provide Sabrina with a convenient out.
02:42 But they never would have known it was her fault anyways.
02:46 And nothing would have caused her to try to tell them it was her.
02:49 So this shouldn't have been necessary to save her.
02:53 And she could have made them forget she told them the truth even if she did for no reason.
02:59 Sabrina says she just finished a course on hypnotic suggestion.
03:04 So she could reverse this by going on stage.
03:07 Archie offers to help and calls her pretty.
03:10 And for some reason they wonder how to get Jughead anywhere near that stage.
03:15 As if it would somehow require him being on that stage for the plot resolution.
03:20 When none of them explain why they think they need him there.
03:23 How pathetic.
03:25 Sabrina knows what the plan's biggest challenges are.
03:28 It should be Jughead saying this because she's an idiot while he's smart.
03:33 Reggie says they'll keep Sabrina clear long enough for her to work her magic.
03:37 And because of that idiom he used.
03:39 She instinctively asks what magic and makes fun of the phrase.
03:43 She asks why she can't stop talking.
03:46 It's been a very long time since she was socially awkward like this.
03:50 It reminded me of the sitcom Sabrina.
03:53 So I concluded that it wasn't out of character for her and needlessly mean-spirited.
03:58 Because if anything it's been too long since she's been like this.
04:02 They conveniently have a hand truck right there at a concert for Reggie to stand on.
04:07 While Archie pushes.
04:09 And there's no reason Jughead would pull up the cloth hiding his face even a little bit just to talk to Reggie.
04:16 Because obviously there's a risk that one of the girls would recognize his face.
04:21 Because forced conflict Reggie doesn't want to do what he's told because it'd be embarrassing.
04:27 I wish it was written to say this before they walked in front of the girls.
04:31 You'd think Reggie would have told Sabrina he wouldn't do this back then.
04:35 And she'd say this back then.
04:38 Sabrina says she'll go on a date with him when this is over if he does.
04:41 Which causes Reggie to agree to tell the girls to come and get it because there's all the Reggie they could want.
04:47 I like that he knew this would be embarrassing and had to be bribed into it.
04:51 Instead of being a parody of himself.
04:54 Jughead thanks Sabrina.
04:55 The girls look unhappy and it feels sorry for him as it drags on for another page for no reason.
05:01 He brags that he's honest because he'll tell them when he's gonna cheat.
05:05 Even though he never tells before cheating.
05:07 The rest of what he brags about isn't stuff that's unique to him.
05:10 So why does he think he ever has an advantage?
05:13 You'd think he'd be bragging that he's smart.
05:16 Because that's something he did before.
05:17 Like when he tried to prove Sabrina was a witch in the 70s comic.
05:21 He walks away with Archie having his hand on his shoulder and calling him "buddy".
05:26 Which is completely out of character.
05:28 You just think it's funny.
05:30 I have a question.
05:31 What was the point of Reggie doing that?
05:33 It doesn't seem necessary.
05:35 Once they still have girls staring at the person with the cloth over his head and wondering who it is.
05:41 It's not like we're being told the girls are refusing to look at them here.
05:45 So it shouldn't have worked.
05:47 They walked up to the security guy.
05:50 Who tells him to go look for Jughead.
05:52 Who pulls off his cloth.
05:54 And that gets him to recognize him and agreed to let him go by him.
05:58 The security guard asks Reggie and Archie where they think they're going.
06:02 And Jughead wastes time telling Sabrina to hurry before calling the pussycats over to him.
06:08 Sabrina casts a spell on the instruments.
06:10 She's seen by the guard and Archie and Reggie.
06:13 So she uses magic to make them think that they only saw her tweak the drums and adjust the springs.
06:18 Which still wouldn't look like hypnotic suggestion.
06:22 I'm forced to assume now that the instruments were hidden behind a curtain.
06:26 Because they're actually backstage.
06:28 Because otherwise the whole concert would have seen this.
06:30 Not just these three.
06:32 When I'm pretty sure the concert didn't get a chance to finish.
06:36 As pussycats only got to play one song.
06:39 With lazy backgrounds like this.
06:42 Straight out of the John Grayer.
06:44 You wouldn't be able to tell where these people are.
06:46 With ridiculous amount of panels in a row after the guard shows up where the backgrounds are worthless.
06:52 Anyways the only reason they knew she used magic.
06:54 Was because this comic arbitrarily decided her magic has to have the instruments glow blue.
07:00 And she has to have magic flow from her in a blue stream.
07:03 And her eyeballs have to disappear.
07:06 When obviously that's not required.
07:08 The real Sabrina series wouldn't have them know she used magic.
07:12 Because all they'd notice is her saying the spell and pointing.
07:15 And they'd just ask why she said poetry.
07:18 Assume it won't do anything.
07:19 And accuse her of being delusional that she's a witch when she promised to use actual hypnotism.
07:25 Sabrina's never really looks like she was using magic when she used magic before.
07:29 Because it would be completely unsubtle.
07:31 And that would severely restrict her with where she's allowed to use magic.
07:37 Which would limit the story potential.
07:40 Sabrina tells Jughead that Mike's hot and he's ready.
07:43 He's relieved because he somehow doesn't appreciate the group hug.
07:47 I thought they would just be kissing him.
07:49 So I have to assume that they were kissing him.
07:52 And they just hugged him at the very last second.
07:55 Which is what we're seeing.
07:57 And they thought they were good looking enough as it is without having to wear lipstick.
08:01 So we don't see any lipstick stains on them.
08:03 And they suggest doing a number with a pussy cat.
08:06 Who liked him enough to agree to let Jughead sing.
08:09 For no reason an entire page is wasted on delaying the singing.
08:13 Sabrina expects me to believe that witches are at full power at night.
08:17 When that's never been the case in the series before.
08:21 So there's no excuse for this.
08:23 This comes off like another instance of Flynn having his own misinterpretation.
08:28 Because he doesn't care about past continuity.
08:31 As usual.
08:32 And didn't even research the source material because it's not Sonic.
08:36 It's obviously a narrative cheat to have your story happen because it ignored past continuity.
08:42 But I'm past Preview Archie Sonic.
08:44 Which had multiple stories in a row when he first started out doing that.
08:49 Jughead's text bubbles and music notes make it clear that he can't sing.
08:54 And it's needlessly annoying how long he sings to the point where I'm not interested.
08:59 One line would have made sense.
09:02 Why would he prolong his embarrassment?
09:05 Jughead breaks the spell as if that was necessary for it.
09:09 And Sabrina admits that she deserves to have to date Reggie after what she did.
09:13 But nobody questions her on saying this.
09:15 When for all they know she'd do nothing but good.
09:18 Jughead goes to try to get some food.
09:22 But all of the food stalls are manned by girls somehow.
09:26 Who illegally refuse him service.
09:28 I'd like to remind you girls are 50% of the population.
09:32 Not 99% so this won't happen.
09:35 So he runs off calling for Sabrina's name.
09:38 Oh thank God there is a text box that says Sabrina fixed it.
09:42 But it's very stupid to end the story here.
09:45 When obviously people want a resolution for the ending.
09:48 Not for the issue to end abruptly.
09:51 Obviously if you removed the pages that were worthless filler.
09:55 You could have had the space to show us Jughead eating.
09:59 The whole reason he wanted the concert.
10:01 And then spared a little to show us Reggie meeting the ants.
10:05 So we get to see them scaring him away with their magic.
10:09 This story was by Anne Flynn and Mark Wade.
10:13 Oh how interesting. I love that Flynn insisted on having his name come before Mark's.
10:19 I wonder why.
10:21 This story was about Jughead having to run and hide from a bunch of girls who were brainwashed to be infatuated with him.
10:28 But it obviously had no excuse for lasting this long.
10:31 Because Sabrina could have pointed to undo the spell.
10:34 Not had this convoluted plan where Reggie bragged being blatantly unnecessary.
10:39 And Jughead reveals himself to get past the guard.
10:42 Who stops Reggie and Archie.
10:44 But conveniently ignores Sabrina.
10:46 Who enchants the instruments to make the women hate Jughead.
10:49 After he sings to them for an unnecessarily long time.
10:53 The worst part of the story is that it wasted several pages on ugly art at the start.
10:58 Where he avoids the girls seeing them as zombies.
11:01 Where he's just stuck in the same boring setting.
11:04 Doing nothing but the same boring thing repeatedly.
11:07 Obviously it could have had the pages of plot progression here.
11:12 And it had enough room for a proper ending.
11:15 But instead after Jughead went to the concert just to eat.
11:19 We don't even get to see him eat.
11:21 But based on how the Sabrina stories of the 2010's were written.
11:25 This story would have been just as garbage if Flynn didn't write it.
11:30 As they all seem to write the same as him.
11:32 The only things that seem to only happen because of Flynn.
11:35 Are that Sabrina thinks she needs to enchant the instruments.
11:38 When we know she can brainwash people directly.
11:41 And she does this in this very issue.
11:44 So there's no excuse there.
11:46 But that's the whole reason it took this long for her to undo the spell.
11:49 And that she said witches are at their most powerful when the sun's not out.
11:54 Blatantly disregarding past continuity.
11:57 Never establishing this.
11:59 Never having her say that she needs to up her potency.
12:02 When she was trying to hex Jughead.
12:05 Maybe this is from one of the late Sabrina comics.
12:08 But I doubt they'd be canon to this.
12:10 It doesn't seem like that'd make any sense.
12:13 Oh what a surprise that this comic didn't get any more issues.
12:17 I hope it's because sales plummeted from how bad the last issue was.
12:22 Instead of it being cancelled for no reason.
12:24 I doubt this was always intended to be the final issue.
12:27 What comic would bring in completely inexperienced new writers to write the finale?
12:33 That doesn't make any sense because it's so likely that's gonna backfire on you.
12:38 Yeah I looked at every issue before this one.
12:41 And Flynn didn't write any of them.
12:44 of them.
12:44 (chimes)