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00:00 Archie 2010's 706.
00:04 After some pages are wasted boring me with Archie angsting that he's an adult,
00:09 I finally see Sabrina's house.
00:12 Sabrina is seen using a spatula and holding a plate of pancakes.
00:16 What's confusing is that she calls this unrecognizable blonde Zelda.
00:21 Why does the franchise keep changing the designs of the ants like they aren't as respectable as her,
00:27 who barely changes at all, when they're main characters?
00:31 It's confusing that while Archie's an adult living on his own,
00:36 Sabrina's still living with her aunts.
00:39 At first I thought she was going to be shown working in a diner,
00:43 and these were people she was working for.
00:46 I don't imagine her to be still living with her aunts as an adult,
00:50 because I've seen the sitcom where that isn't the case and she's a journalist.
00:55 But instead I'm wondering how Sabrina's life turned out like this.
00:59 This issue is just meandering, being dull and unengaging instead of instantly getting to the plot.
01:06 Nothing actually happened in this scene.
01:09 Seven pages in, Sabrina looks for toadstools in the woods with Salem,
01:14 who has the best design he's ever had in a comic book.
01:18 He's not as dark as in the sitcom.
01:20 But still, Sabrina finds a mushroom and says that it doesn't usually bleed unless it's a sign.
01:26 Wouldn't it be boring if it never explained what it meant by that?
01:31 So that I'd never understand.
01:34 So again, why don't they just zap their potion ingredients to them?
01:39 No matter how much they want to save on magic,
01:42 teleportation is not the kind of spell they would not use to save on magic,
01:47 because it's so useful.
01:49 So I have to assume that they can't zap potion ingredients to them.
01:54 And they can't summon them with them having magic in them because that would be creating new magic.
02:00 Why does the comic keep cutting away from the actually interesting character to go to Archie doing boring generic adult things?
02:08 I don't care.
02:09 Sabrina gets bitched at because the forest she's in has a sign that arbitrarily calls it private property.
02:16 She naturally says, "This is the woods. How's it private property?"
02:21 And she's called a tourist.
02:23 She thinks to herself not to turn him into a toad because it's an insult to toads.
02:28 And she walks away, disappointing me by telling this unlikable asshole to have a nice day,
02:35 making him look uncharacteristically two-faced.
02:38 Why write this character to act like this if he's not going to get punished with magic?
02:43 While turning him into something would go overboard, a curse wouldn't be so bad.
02:48 Then after some more pages that shouldn't have been produced,
02:51 like what's the point of having Archie if he's not going to be a clumsy person or an idiot?
02:56 Sabrina sees a poster advertising a Josie concert while walking home.
03:01 Wait a minute. Why would someone who can teleport ever walk home?
03:06 She shouldn't have even found this and started the plot in the first place.
03:10 She could have also made herself super fast.
03:14 And seriously, why does her nose look so pink?
03:17 She looks silly, like a clown.
03:20 I don't know why there's any panels with Archie in it.
03:22 It just detracts from the issue with padding.
03:25 There's a reason they made Archie a clumsy idiot.
03:28 It's to keep the story entertaining.
03:30 Sabrina leaves the house, and I guess it's Hildo who tells her to have fun at her movie.
03:35 Her aunts are busy summoning spirits.
03:38 But the writer's too lazy to explain why.
03:41 I remember when the aunts were written to feel like actual people.
03:45 Here they're just witches, so they do witch stuff for no reason.
03:50 Why have them dress like normal people in their house then?
03:53 Even the 70s versions of the aunts didn't summon spirits for absolutely no reason.
04:00 There's some more boring padding where nothing actually happens.
04:03 There's just barely anything to say about this issue.
04:06 It's almost like it should've had the characters be in high school like they're supposed to be.
04:11 Because then they'd meet up and start the actual plot much faster.
04:15 And we see the Pussycats, and then Sabrina sits on a roof for no reason while saying that it'd be nice to fall in love.
04:23 She did, with Harvey.
04:25 What is the point of pretending that Harvey never existed?
04:29 She pets Salem. Archie's car crashes because of a deer on the road.
04:34 Sabrina magically senses it, which makes no sense because it's not usually the case that she can sense anything bad that happens.
04:42 And you'd think she'd always feel like this because car accidents and stuff are happening all over the world.
04:48 And plus, Archie's always accident prone.
04:50 She'd constantly get distracted by feeling like this every time he trips or bumps into Moose.
04:56 You might assume from this that this happens to her all the time and she's basically a superhero constantly sensing that people are in danger and going to save them with her magic.
05:06 Which would end up interrupting any dates she would have later on.
05:10 So it sure would be stupid if she only ever had the sense with Archie.
05:16 Archie can't get a call through to his dad.
05:19 It seems arbitrary, so I don't take it seriously.
05:22 Especially since it combines with the fact that even though his car crashed, he can still walk and run perfectly fine.
05:30 So that's really convenient.
05:32 Either way, it doesn't really matter because he sees some things in the dark with glowing eyes, even though this is Earth, not the other realm.
05:41 So he has to run away, while Sabrina somehow knows that someone needs her help and flies away.
05:47 Are you kidding me? The story's over?
05:49 It took until the last scene to have an actual plot circle and it's already over?
05:54 Archie 2010 #707
05:58 Archie runs from some wolves that shouldn't even be on Earth and Sabrina eventually uses magic telling them to leave.
06:05 Wouldn't the previous issue have been a lot more entertaining to watch if she was spending the whole story doing stuff like this?
06:13 Saving people?
06:14 He apologizes for some reason.
06:17 And then I'm confused when he says his name and she says hers.
06:20 So this is a fan fiction where they haven't met before.
06:24 What is the point of having main Archie characters reintroduce themselves to each other?
06:29 For the most part, all it amounts to is them saying what name they have.
06:34 Archie says yes, he gets his workplace with a busted car, but Sabrina tells him she fixed his wheels.
06:41 Pop expresses pity for Archie who thanks him and Sabrina says Pop hates his amazing.
06:47 If the writer thought to have Archie say "I can't believe you've never been here, why was this written anyways?"
06:53 What is the point of having it so that Sabrina never met the Archie gang before if you're going to have her meet them anyways?
07:00 It's disrespectful to her legacy where she grew up with them.
07:04 There should have been a text box at the start of the story arc saying that's an alternate universe.
07:09 Because this can't be canon otherwise.
07:12 This is like if there was a later story in IDW where Sonic introduced himself to Tangle as if he never met her before.
07:19 The Archie 2010s comic used to start from issue 1, making it clear that it's supposed to be a separate comic in continuity entirely from the real Archie comic.
07:29 Archie thanks her and she says she loves to late night wonk.
07:33 Oh, just because she's a witch?
07:35 A witch would warp home, not exhaust herself walking for so long.
07:39 If she wanted to save on magic, she'd exercise restraint in it, but not this way.
07:44 She'd just not zap the remote control to her or the ingredients for cooking.
07:49 Archie offers to give her a tour of Riverdale and show her his favorite spots.
07:53 In the morning, he throws a baseball to her and she catches it in a glove.
07:58 And he says Betty taught him how to play baseball in this weird, bizarro universe.
08:03 Certainly not the real Archie comic where at first the girls were made fun of for trying to play sports because they're new to it.
08:10 He says Betty's a nerd, so that's a more dumb dialogue.
08:14 She's not Dilton.
08:16 I assume she gets good grades, but it's not like she's a nerd.
08:20 She's a sports star.
08:22 He says she knows how to do everything.
08:25 Mary Sue alert.
08:27 Seriously, you'd think the writer would write this and then warning bills would go off in his head.
08:32 He says he couldn't teach Ronnie how to play baseball.
08:36 Definitely an alternate universe because I'm pretty sure Ronnie's been good at baseball before in the Archie comics.
08:42 She's joined in with the girls in at least one story where the girls are better at a sport than Archie thinks after joking about it.
08:48 Sabrina's a great pitchers throw that impresses Archie.
08:52 They enjoy going to a costume store and Sabrina says she's into horror stuff.
08:57 Oh, just because she's a witch.
08:59 Whatever happens to the 70s comic where she was a normal girl to contrast her aunt to give the message that a witch isn't necessarily different from everybody else.
09:09 That was refreshing.
09:11 Sabrina's a goody two-shoes.
09:13 She would hate horror because it have gore in it and she's so compassionate to stand looking at that.
09:18 If you want it to be at least slightly a character, you could ever laugh at it because she did that in one of the laugh comics.
09:26 Because you'd think people like Freddy Krueger look ridiculous because she's a witch and she's used to seeing monsters.
09:32 Are you expecting me to believe Sabrina would like stuff like Saw?
09:36 Sabrina and Archie go to an arcade and Sabrina awkwardly asks if this is where he hangs out with his girlfriends.
09:42 She confuses me by saying that it feels like there's a presence with him sometimes.
09:47 He asks if he's haunted and she says it just feels crowded and asks for something to eat.
09:53 I hate when a story is confusing and too lazy to ever explain itself.
09:58 That gives me the same feeling as early Pandora's stuff like Sonic Live.
10:03 I feel like I'm missing something.
10:05 Even at the end of this arc, I won't know what she meant.
10:08 Betty and Veronica aren't dead so why does she act like she's sensing a ghost?
10:13 Sabrina says it must be hard on Archie that his friends aren't here.
10:17 He's the last one still in Riverdale.
10:20 That's not believable at all.
10:22 His friends would have no reason to all leave.
10:25 What are the chances of that being the case for all of them?
10:28 This is just there to be a needlessly depressing future that tries to make the comics before this look bad
10:33 because they're supposedly leading up to this.
10:36 But can't be because he doesn't know Sabrina.
10:39 You'd think Betty would stay here because she'll never get over him
10:43 and if Ronnie leaves, she has them all to herself.
10:46 And Ronnie would know that so she wouldn't leave.
10:49 Sabrina can't tell him why she's staying here for the summer.
10:52 He says he doesn't know anything about her.
10:55 And she says she didn't have all of those sun-soaked summers with her friends.
10:59 Totally ignoring the 70s comics where she went to the beach with Harvey 7,000 times.
11:05 I guess witches are too prideful to just zap up new friends.
11:09 Wouldn't kids make their imaginary friends real?
11:13 I guess she would think that's not the same.
11:16 She says they're different and thanks him for the tour while leaving.
11:20 She's ditching him just because he grew up with friends?
11:23 That's forced.
11:25 Archie does some fence painting
11:27 and is at least smart enough to realize that it's for the best because he doesn't need another romance.
11:32 But he doesn't elaborate that it's because it'd cost some money.
11:36 Or because he thinks it's doomed to failure.
11:38 Otherwise, this would be out of character.
11:41 Sabrina's aunt Zelda and whoever this is supposed to be talked to her when she sat at home.
11:46 Even though she walked away from him.
11:48 So this is her fault.
11:50 Zelda says it's the witch in her as they're ancient and naturally mistrustful.
11:55 It wouldn't be "natural".
11:57 They'd just learn to be like that because they're always scared someone would find out their secret.
12:01 Or they're surrounded by other witches who could abuse magic on them at the drop of a hat.
12:05 Saying witches are naturally mistrustful is just insulting.
12:11 Going all the way back to the 70's style.
12:13 Which even that didn't say that about them.
12:15 And yet they aren't drawn like it.
12:17 Sabrina says it was never going to work just because Archie is obsessed with his friends.
12:22 Her aunts point out that something about Archie called to her.
12:26 It's so boring to have both aunts have the same personality.
12:31 Hilda is supposed to stand out.
12:33 She might as well not be here if this is Hilda.
12:36 I feel like she's just being given lines Zelda could say.
12:39 Archie leaves Pop-Tate being thanked.
12:41 And gets a piece of paper telling him to look for the light to go find Sabrina at the Wishful Woods at midnight.
12:48 Why didn't Sabrina put her name on the paper?
12:51 She's lucky he went there.
12:53 Am I ever going to be told why he was chased by magic wolves?
12:56 Because I'm assuming they were summoned by her aunts trying to summon those spirits.
13:00 Sabrina greets him near a campfire and says she was friendless growing up.
13:05 She also befriended a lot of woodland animals.
13:08 So she's not sure how to deal with humans.
13:10 It's all new. Nothing like the actual canon before this.
13:13 But it's only the case to be angsty.
13:16 And why would I want that?
13:18 While being different on its own isn't bad.
13:21 It's still bad even if you ignore what came before it.
13:25 What is the point of practically omitting Harvey in the 2010's?
13:29 It's not Harvey's fault he was mischaracterized in the manga.
13:32 So if there's bad fan reception to that, it'd be stupid if that's why he's being ignored.
13:37 Granted it's far more interesting to try to ship her with other main Archie characters that have more iconicness.
13:44 But we all know the comic series would never have the guts to keep her with any of them.
13:49 Because Archie is locked to these two girls.
13:51 And Reggie doesn't want to settle down and stay with anyone except maybe Veronica.
13:57 It feels pointless compared to shipping her with Harvey because he doesn't seem to have that problem.
14:02 She says she's not like other girls.
14:04 And she suddenly doesn't want to be.
14:06 Rather than her wanting to live like a mortal like the real canon.
14:09 So that she can feel like she's really one of the gang.
14:13 She says she doesn't want to be compared to his exes.
14:16 He agrees and says he wants to spend more time doing the stuff she likes and know what she's willing to share.
14:23 I wonder if they would have dated if he did grow up with her instead of her being a shiny new girl while Veronica and Betty are out of the way.
14:30 So that's supposed to be the point of him just now meeting her.
14:34 Except Archie isn't constantly screwing up and requiring Sabrina to use magic to help him.
14:40 So since it doesn't feel like Archie, I don't really feel like it's showing me what would happen if Archie and Sabrina got together.
14:46 I'm wondering why Veronica and Betty ever gave Archie up because that's blatantly pathetically out of character.
14:52 If either were the type to give him up, they'd have done so before.
14:56 I know people can change, but you don't really change that much after you're done being a teenager.
15:00 Your music tastes are kind of solidified at that point.
15:04 There's a montage of them doing stereotypical dating things and then sitting on a roof for no reason.
15:11 Most of Archie's 708 pages are wasted on Sabrina not being there.
15:16 Sometimes wasted before Sabrina tells Archie in the woods what she ate when she was a kid.
15:21 Why did he wait until now to ask her this? This would be an early thing.
15:25 She says she ate too many lentils.
15:28 I don't buy that witches would eat that and not eat anything modern because they're living with modern people in a modern neighborhood.
15:37 And they wouldn't torture themselves eating nothing but vegetables.
15:42 Plus I would think most of what she would eat would be witch stuff, but she can't say that.
15:47 But lentils wouldn't be the normal thing that she would have on the side.
15:52 She says she wants cheese doodles, but then she looks worried.
15:56 Some pages are wasted after this.
15:59 Why show his jughead without Sabrina there?
16:01 I don't care about this because it's contradicting past canon, so it can't be the canon future of these characters.
16:07 And there's no magic at all.
16:09 I'm guessing none of these pages matter and it won't be confusing at all to the Sabrina plot if I skip them.
16:14 They hear snapping noises and Sabrina decides to take off running with them.
16:19 There's a laughably ridiculously dark panel for Archie.
16:22 And the story ends with some tall figures with a face like the moon and a face like the sun standing above Sabrina.
16:28 But Sabrina's a witch so she'd logically just point to destroy any monsters that threaten her and make Archie forget.
16:36 I wonder if they're Sabrina's aunts.
16:38 Because they're tall human-shaped figures dressed in black like stereotypical witches who thought to go track down Sabrina.
16:45 As Archie709 reveals, they are her aunts.
16:49 Although I didn't recognize Hilda because she has a different hairstyle.
16:53 So why were aunts wearing a moon and sun mask?
16:57 Which Archie's too polite to question them on.
17:00 Because they're witches!
17:03 Not people who actually make sense.
17:07 Hilda asks if Sabrina was eating fried meat in the woods because she just hates Pop-Tate so much.
17:13 So what took them so long to go search for Sabrina and meet Archie?
17:17 If they're the type to do that.
17:19 The aunts politely greet them and advise them to go home because it's late.
17:24 Yeah, just treat Sabrina like she's still a child.
17:27 Archie says it felt a little chilly after they left.
17:30 But that's for it because they were smiling the whole time and being polite.
17:34 It's not like they scared him with magic because he's mortal.
17:38 This was the tamest Hilda ever was.
17:41 Sabrina says that's just them and expects me to believe they're even more like this after the sun goes down.
17:47 He finally questions why they're wearing black.
17:50 Sabrina kisses them goodbye.
17:53 And angrily goes to her aunts who look annoyed all of a sudden.
17:56 So what took them so long to be like this?
18:00 Zelda comments in a catty way that she got a boyfriend so quickly.
18:05 She doesn't see why a Witch of Sabrina's skill needs anything explained because this is not casting in Cauldrons 101.
18:13 And Sabrina tells her to spell it out for her.
18:16 There's much needed levity out of nowhere because Zelda snorts in laughter at her saying "Spell" and apologizes with a sweet smile.
18:24 This is the kind of tone that should always be the case for Sabrina's stories and is sorely missing most of it.
18:31 Then she bitches her out because Archie's immortal.
18:34 Zelda says they didn't move to Riverdale for her to go gallivanting about eating burgers with boys.
18:40 Why did they?
18:42 What did they expect? Her to stay single her whole life?
18:45 They're very lucky she even still lives with them as an adult as it is.
18:49 Or do they insist on it because they want to make sure she stays single?
18:53 It's not like they don't have any point in this because dating an immortal means having to conserve magic to avoid revealing it.
19:00 And then having to expend even more magic for a memory erasing spell if she does reveal it.
19:06 So either way, the immortal is just dragging her down.
19:09 It's a big hassle compared to just dating another witch.
19:13 So it's stupid to do it.
19:15 And besides, she'll greatly outlive Archie anyways.
19:18 So getting too attached to him will just doom her to heartbreak down the road.
19:22 And that's another legitimate reason for them to see this as a mistake.
19:25 What sucks is that they aren't explaining these reasons.
19:29 So they just come off like anti-mortal bigots for no reason.
19:33 I like that Hilda says they don't object to gallivanting.
19:37 But it really should be Hilda doing all of this talking.
19:40 As she's usually the one in focus, so it's out of character.
19:43 Although Zelda deserves her time to shine where she's the main one talking after the reverse being true for most of the series.
19:50 The quiet one that only occasionally chimes in being cheerful is supposed to be Zelda.
19:56 The point is, they would have had this talk with her long ago.
20:00 At least it's not confirmed that they didn't have this talk with her a long time ago and are just reiterating to her.
20:06 They're reminded that she's a witch first and family comes first.
20:09 Why are they being so vague?
20:11 They better be being vague because they know Sabrina already knows why dating mortals is dumb.
20:16 But they want to stop her anyways.
20:18 Family comes first could only really mean we want you to do stuff for us.
20:23 But they could just zap up a slave to do stuff for them.
20:27 So they don't need her to do the family duties.
20:31 There's some more worthless embarrassingly dark pages I skipped past like most sensible people.
20:37 Archie being dark like this is the shadow the hedgehog of the Archie comics.
20:41 Why are they trying to make this like that embarrassing show called Riverdale?
20:46 Betty tells Sabrina in the woods that Veronica plans to bulldoze these woods to bring business to Riverdale.
20:53 It already has business.
20:55 It's not like we're being told it's struggling.
20:57 But I see her point.
20:59 Sabrina warns her that the woods have a complicated history.
21:02 She can't really be clear about it though.
21:04 What monsters?
21:06 Idiotic writing. Witches could zap away monsters and ghosts.
21:10 She'd do that.
21:12 She can be opposed to this because she's a nature lover.
21:14 And maybe it's a good thing to bulldoze the woods then.
21:17 It would get rid of a place the monsters have to live.
21:20 Although the monsters would go somewhere else.
21:23 But humans with guns would take care of it.
21:25 They would go out in the open and then they would all get decimated.
21:29 If the woods stay around the monsters are going to keep reproducing in there.
21:32 So maybe it's a good thing.
21:34 She says a lot of people who venture into the woods don't come out the other side in such good shape.
21:39 The head witch would have undone this spell because it'd make magic too obvious.
21:44 And how does she think this is supposed to convince Veronica that they shouldn't destroy the woods?
21:50 Sabrina thankfully admits that she has the interests of Riverdale at heart.
21:55 Why is she trying to persuade Veronica instead of just using magic to change her mind?
21:59 Like she did in the sitcom.
22:01 She could point and then people would think her argument convinced her.
22:04 It's satisfying that Betty says Veronica doesn't listen to anyone but herself these days.
22:09 But she wouldn't say these days.
22:12 She complains about environmental damage.
22:14 And after some more worthless padding Sabrina puts her hand on Archie's shoulder and make him scream and look at her.
22:20 Which for once makes him feel like actual Archie a tiny bit.
22:24 But for the most part he's just been a boring normal guy with Archie's hairstyle and hair color.
22:29 He'd only feel like Archie if he was a clumsy idiot whose car broke down.
22:33 And Sabrina was using magic to compensate.
22:36 That would perfectly convince us that this is the best ship ever.
22:40 Instead they've just had a normal boring relationship.
22:43 Making it obvious that he could be dating any girl for the same event.
22:47 Archie says again that she scared him.
22:50 She asks if it's something else.
22:52 And then he says out of complete nowhere that he knew she was a witch.
22:56 He what?
22:57 Why didn't we get shown that?
22:59 If that was just something referenced in mere text why would that merely be text?
23:04 If that was something shown in a different comic from this it's so likely that someone would see that.
23:10 He wouldn't figure out she was a witch just because her ants are like that.
23:15 Because mortals don't believe in witches who would think her ants are just crazy.
23:20 Or like the roleplay as witches like Wiccans.
23:23 He asks it's not like broomsticks and flying and you know spells though right?
23:28 Why would he ever think it wouldn't be that?
23:32 What witch wouldn't have a spell?
23:34 He doesn't know if he can handle it if it was like that.
23:38 She breaks up with him just because of that.
23:41 When she could easily just erase his memory of being told she's a witch.
23:45 Since Harvey would have the same reaction which she would know.
23:48 And that didn't stop her from wanting him in every continuity when she knew that.
23:53 This is the weakest excuse for ending the relationship.
23:56 To the point where it's insulting that it was made a big deal out of it.
24:00 She would have always known he wouldn't like witches.
24:03 But that didn't stop her from going after mortals before.
24:06 It's still obvious he's better off dating her than Betty because her magic fixes screw ups.
24:11 Her ants didn't do anything to him.
24:13 So he has no reason to be scared into breaking up with her.
24:16 Another better reason for them to break up.
24:19 Archie should have been the one breaking up with her for being a witch.
24:22 Then it would be instantly understandable.
24:24 But even then she would just erase his memory of him knowing she's a witch.
24:28 So there's just no way they would break up.
24:31 So it has to be a spree in ending the relationship.
24:34 But this is a pathetic excuse to do so.
24:37 It should have been that she got tired of his constant clumsiness and stupidity.
24:42 And having to expand all of her magic and be without it for weeks.
24:46 Because she constantly has to use magic to fix his mistakes.
24:50 Literally anybody could write them breaking up better.
24:53 So it can be believable that she wouldn't want to date him.
24:57 And they wouldn't be the perfect couple.
24:59 But if you do it like this it just makes it look stupid.
25:02 And that's the last page with Sabrina in it.
25:05 All of that for this ending.
25:08 Well at least that was better than the Sonic Sally breakup.
25:11 Even if it's still a mess.
25:13 They're just calmly talking to each other.
25:15 And she calmly says goodbye.
25:17 So it wasn't overly dramatic masquering either of these characters.
25:21 Though it still has Sabrina painted as unacceptably stupid beyond her actual character.
25:26 But it feels underwhelming to have a breakup so calm and casual.
25:30 Like, meh, whatever.
25:31 This whole plot point never really mattered anyways.
25:34 You should have never been invested in it.
25:36 I never really was because I knew they wouldn't have the guts to make it permanent.
25:40 Even though this is the reboot.
25:42 So it'd be fine.
25:44 Maybe it wouldn't feel underwhelming.
25:46 Maybe it would feel like something that was built up to.
25:49 If they had them go on a whole date and a whole bunch of things went wrong because it's Archie.
25:54 So she'd break up with him after a montage where she gets tired of what a jinx he usually is.
26:00 That would feel climactic because a whole bunch of conflict is happening instead of just them talking.
26:06 I see Archie vs. Predator here.
26:08 And I know Sabrina's in one of the stories where Archie crosses over with the Predator.
26:13 But I refuse to acknowledge it in a review because it's instantly obvious Sabrina would just point to destroy the Predator.
26:19 She has elemental magic, teleportation magic, she can shrink something.
26:23 I bet they're not gonna explain that Sabrina's out of magic, which would make sense.
26:28 Or that the Predator's immune to magic.
26:30 But even then, that'd be a guyball sex machina.
26:33 If Sabrina can't use magic on it directly, she could still surround it with a force field to trap it.
26:39 And shrink it to crush it to death.
26:41 It would only make sense if Sabrina was out of magic and she called her aunts and they revealed they're out of magic too.
26:49 It would still be insanely bad luck.
26:52 But that happens in real life too, so it would still be believable.
26:57 And she would be alone with the Predator and her aunts would be so far away.
27:02 Well, they could still bring potion ingredients to completely destroy the Predator.
27:07 It'd just take a while for them to get to it.
27:09 That could have Sabrina work in a story with a Predator in it.
27:14 This issue by Nick Spencer and Mariko Tamaki wasted most of its panels on boredom.
27:21 Where Sabrina and Archie meandered around the town.
27:24 With Archie having a boring, unentertaining adult life.
27:28 But it was so dull that I didn't feel like reading the dialogue a lot.
27:32 Until Sabrina showed up again.
27:34 It's all pointless until the very end where Sabrina somehow has a sixth sense that Archie crashed his car.
27:41 And has to run for his life from creatures that don't look like they should be on Earth in the first place.
27:47 This sucked.
27:49 You could have cut out all of the panels with Archie until the last scene.
27:53 And hey, you could have cut out a lot of the panels with Sabrina too.
27:57 And we'd miss absolutely nothing in terms of a genuine, continuous plot and entertainment.
28:03 We get it. Adult life is depressing.
28:06 But this is a comic for non-adults.
28:09 And you're trying to make them think life ends when you get to that point.
28:12 Also, it's cringe-worthy to see gore.
28:16 This story is about Archie and Sabrina getting to know each other for apparently the first time.
28:20 With Archie giving her a tour of Riverdale because apparently she didn't grow up there.
28:24 And after a forced moment for padding where Sabrina tries to give up on him because he's got friends he's really focused on.
28:31 Even though they're not with him, constantly distracting him from her.
28:35 She ends up leaving him a note to get him to date her as long as he doesn't compare her to his exes.
28:41 So that was nice, if confusing.
28:44 Like what is this nonsense where she feels a presence?
28:48 How did she ever have a sixth sense to know to save him from wolves if she never knew him until now?
28:53 There would have to be a range limit on it or she'd always be feeling that sense.
28:57 Because there's so many people in the world in tons of time zones.
29:00 I wish there was a text box at the start saying this is an alternate universe instead of a contradicting canon.
29:06 Despite the giant issue number.
29:08 And forcing me to conclude it's an alternate universe on my own to take it seriously.
29:12 Which is not how you write a glimpse into the future series.
29:16 Where it ends up being pointless.
29:18 The past two stories on the Sabrina end were about Sabrina being pressured to break up with Archie because he's mortal.
29:24 Without her aunt even bothering to explain the good reasons because of that because they're just straw men.
29:29 It would actually take advantage of her dating Archie and not just some random guy.
29:34 If she was told to break up with him because he's a clumsy clawed.
29:38 Who's always getting into trouble.
29:40 Which he doesn't seem to be anyway so he might as well just be a normal Joe.
29:44 She sticks with him because oh she doesn't care if he's mortal or not.
29:48 Only for her to break up with him because he's mortal.
29:50 Because he doesn't like witches because he's immortal.
29:53 Way to stick to your guns.
29:55 And why did you expect them to like them in the first place?
29:58 How did they even date this long then?
30:01 I'm glad the breakup was at least calm and mature.
30:04 Even if it comes off as so nonchalant about ending this plot point that it feels insulting to have it ever be treated like it could last.
30:12 If it's so obvious that the way the breakup should have been written.
30:15 Is that Archie would be a typical jinx.
30:18 And Sabrina would expend all of her magic trying to get him out of those issues.
30:22 Surrounding this really basic plot was embarrassingly un-Archie dark murder mystery bullshit I ignored.
30:29 And wasn't confused at all that I did.
30:31 So apparently it has nothing to do with Sabrina's life anyways.
30:34 Then this should have been in a different comic.
30:36 The fact that Sabrina thinks destroying the woods would be not worth it.
30:40 Because people don't survive it.
30:42 Was far more interesting than the Archie drama ever was.
30:45 Why won't witches just point to nullify that consequence?
30:49 Make the woods completely harmless?
30:51 Use all of their potion ingredients if it requires a lot of magic to do it.
30:55 Della would know about this.
30:57 Magic is supposed to be kept secret.
30:59 So obviously Della would have ordered these woods to be made completely non-supernatural.
31:04 If they somehow got supernatural.
31:07 This was all just a waste of time.
31:09 What is the point other than blatant rating stunt to have Sabrina dating Archie if Archie is not acting like Archie.
31:16 And Sabrina doesn't use magic around him once so Sabrina is not Sabrina.
31:21 Might as well just be two random people dating.
31:23 Dating.