Qué Importa | Programa Completo 13/junio/2023
Esta noche en Qué Importa:
Cae más rápido un hablador que un cojo... Álvaro Morales se hizo chiquito cuando vio a Oribe Peralta, después de criticarlo todo el tiempo.
Poncho de Nigris no puede ver ni en pintura a Adal Ramones.
Stalkear celulares ajenos te puede dar a conocer cosas.
¡Como nunca antes lo habíamos visto!... Ricardo Monreal prepara su reality show que promete ser tan divertido como ver el pasto crecer.
La verdadera historia sobre el escándalo entre Lorena Herrera y Facundo. ¿Real o planeado?
Cae más rápido un hablador que un cojo... Álvaro Morales se hizo chiquito cuando vio a Oribe Peralta, después de criticarlo todo el tiempo.
Poncho de Nigris no puede ver ni en pintura a Adal Ramones.
Stalkear celulares ajenos te puede dar a conocer cosas.
¡Como nunca antes lo habíamos visto!... Ricardo Monreal prepara su reality show que promete ser tan divertido como ver el pasto crecer.
La verdadera historia sobre el escándalo entre Lorena Herrera y Facundo. ¿Real o planeado?
Category
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NewsTranscript
00:00 ♪ ♪ ♪ (applaudissements)
00:04 - Bonsoir! - Comment ça va?
00:06 - Bienvenue au programme de l'Estaca. Qu'est-ce qui vous importe?
00:08 - Je vais commencer le jour d'aujourd'hui, mais c'est le programme de Gabriella.
00:11 En réalité, nous sommes ses chats, Edouard et moi.
00:13 - Je suis seulement ici dans une relation de deux qui, parfois, se rend inconfortable, et qui, comme...
00:17 qui veulent, je ne sais pas, donner de l'amour, de l'homme, quelque chose... - Non, non, non, non!
00:21 - Et je ne suis pas ici à la moitié, mais bon... - Merci, merci à Dieu, Gabriella,
00:24 parce que nous nous avons déjà très vu. - Lâchons notre vie sexuelle de côté et parlons de l'industrie,
00:29 de l'entretien, oui? Il existe de grandes rivalités entre elles, comme...
00:32 - Comme celle-ci! - Non!
00:34 - Ah, c'est vrai! - C'est un roman, ça, mais bon,
00:36 celle de Talia et Laura Zapata, hein? - C'est ça!
00:39 - Adame contre le monde. - Oh, aussi!
00:42 - Oh!
00:44 - Vous allez bien? - Ne pleurez pas.
00:46 - C'est horrible, facundo!
00:48 Et le seigneur Lorraine Herrera, qui se hante!
00:51 Il se trouve que ce n'est pas vrai, nous avons été ennuyés, c'est une blague!
00:54 On ne se hante pas! Non, on s'aime bien!
00:58 - Mais c'est pas grave, mais la lèvrée!
01:00 - On était dans le programme et Lorraine Herrera nous a dit...
01:02 C'était un programme où, supposément,
01:04 nous étions en train de parler avec des nudistes,
01:07 et alors Lorraine Herrera nous a dit,
01:09 "En ce moment, dans le cour, en ce moment, quand nous retournerons,
01:11 je vous dis que vous vous enlevez, vous vous enlevez?"
01:14 Et nous, "Oui", et ensuite, vous me demandez que je me lève, ok?
01:17 Et je vais m'énerver et je vais sortir du programme
01:19 et en ce moment, il y a la presse ici,
01:21 vous allez voir que je vais sortir et nous allons faire un scandale, ok?
01:24 Et je ne... - Et tu as superbébé le programme.
01:27 Je ne savais pas qu'un scandale pouvait donner autant de bénéfices
01:30 à un programme.
01:32 Je ne le savais pas.
01:33 Je me suis dit, "Ok, allons faire ça à ma mère."
01:35 Et nous avons fait ça.
01:37 Et elle est sortie du programme
01:38 et notre programme, d'avoir trois points de rating,
01:41 a doublé à six.
01:43 - C'est-à-dire... - Très bien.
01:44 Une semaine après le programme, elle avait déjà eu un succès,
01:46 grâce à un scandale de Lorraine Herrera.
01:48 Et puis, j'ai rencontré Lorraine Herrera dans un anthe
01:51 et c'était comme une présentation de quelque chose.
01:55 Nous avons discuté et elle m'a dit, "Non, mais tu as vraiment eu un succès.
01:57 Tu es une génie du spectacle."
02:00 Et puis, une caméra est arrivée et Lorraine Herrera a vu la caméra
02:03 et elle a commencé à me mentir.
02:05 Et elle m'a fait un coup de couille.
02:07 Et puis...
02:08 Mais j'ai vu la caméra et j'ai dit...
02:11 - Ah, bien sûr, elle est en train de s'actuer. - La génie du monde du spectacle.
02:16 Ce qui n'était pas prévu,
02:18 qui a décapé certains problèmes,
02:20 c'est quand je lui ai dit que Lorraine Herrera était un homme.
02:23 Parce qu'elle a dit, "C'est juste que tu es un nul."
02:25 - Et ça, tu t'es déjà amusé. - Elle s'est posé devant moi
02:27 et elle avait un petit couille.
02:29 Et je lui ai dit, "Oui, parce qu'elle l'a plus grand."
02:31 Et là, c'est parti.
02:33 C'est-à-dire qu'elle ne peut pas le tirer, mais lui, non.
02:36 - Mais lui, lui. - Elle a parlé de son gigantesque mannequin.
02:39 - Et c'est là que Lorraine s'est ennuyée. - Je comprends.
02:41 Lorraine Herrera est un homme, mais elle l'a petite.
02:45 Et c'est ce qui l'a vraiment ennuyée,
02:47 qui l'a fait ennuyer, être évidément.
02:50 Si c'est vrai que les scandales augmentent le score,
02:53 on devrait se battre avec quelqu'un.
02:55 Je ne sais pas, faire goûter le café à Pedro Sola ou quelque chose.
02:57 - Oui. - Faire quelque chose de spécial
02:59 dans son mayonnaise de la tête.
03:01 - C'est ça. - Quelque chose.
03:03 Et regarde que Lorraine, normalement, est super tranquille,
03:06 mais ce que dit Facundo, elle l'a vraiment fait ennuyer.
03:09 - Oui. - Oui, oui, oui.
03:12 Je suis très déçu. Tout a été monté ?
03:15 Non, il n'a que été monté par Lorraine.
03:18 - Et rien d'autre. - C'est pour ça qu'il est un homme.
03:21 Mais bon, il n'a rien de mauvais.
03:23 Beaucoup de personnes ont des pènes.
03:25 Il ne reste plus qu'à savoir où.
03:28 - Quoi ? - Pardon ?
03:30 - Oui. - Où ?
03:31 - Il y a des endroits spécials. - Quelqu'un a des pènes
03:34 dans la main et tout, non ?
03:35 - Oui, oui. - Ou dans le culiacan.
03:37 Fermez la bouche, parce qu'en ferme, il n'y a pas de fesses.
03:41 Ça veut dire que tout dans le monde du spectacle est une menthe ?
03:44 C'est-à-dire que Dulce María sait lire ?
03:48 Alors, mentir pour monter le rating.
03:51 Ou comme le dit Martha Higuerera, vivre.
03:53 C'est-à-dire que c'est bien, c'est un spectacle, c'est un spectacle.
03:58 Bon, il est temps de parler d'éducation.
03:59 - Vous ne vous en faites pas ? - Quoi ?
04:01 Comme père de famille, vous pensez,
04:03 "Je suis déjà fatigué que mon fils soit une bonne personne."
04:07 - Oui. - Oui.
04:08 Je veux qu'il croise pour faire de la pire, de la pire.
04:12 Nous avons de bonnes nouvelles,
04:13 parce que le programme a déjà réussi à ceci.
04:16 "Niños Malvados".
04:17 Adelante.
04:18 ♪ ♪ ♪
04:21 - Quoi ? - C'est ça.
04:23 - "Pre-Kids" ?
04:25 ♪ ♪ ♪
04:27 Qu'est-ce que c'est ?
04:28 - Qui veut ça pour ses enfants ?
04:30 Oh, mon Dieu ! - Wow !
04:31 - "Pre-Kids" !
04:33 - Quoi ? - Et il y en a beaucoup !
04:36 - Quel horreur, c'est-ce que c'est ?
04:38 Non, non, non, non !
04:40 (rires)
04:41 - Il faut parler avec l'UNESCO.
04:42 Ça ne doit pas se permettre.
04:44 - C'est "Pre-Kids",
04:46 c'est-à-dire que ce qu'on voit, c'est un salon de pré-pre.
04:49 - Oui ! - Quel horreur !
04:51 - C'est pré-pre ! - Quelle abolique, c'est-ce que c'est ?
04:54 - Pourquoi tu ferais ça à ton fils ?
04:56 Pourquoi ?
04:57 Pourquoi tu ferais ça à tes enfants ?
04:59 - Peut-être que c'est une bonne façon de dire à ton fils
05:02 que son père est ton copain,
05:04 et que tu as toujours hésité les deux.
05:07 Peut-être que c'est ça, je ne sais pas.
05:09 - Quelle matière est-il dans cette école ?
05:13 - Je pense que le programme académique
05:15 est en phase de "pétition d'embargo".
05:17 - Allez ! - 1, 2...
05:18 - Il devrait y avoir une achat de votes,
05:20 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, et même 10.
05:22 - Bien ! - Oui, oui, oui.
05:24 - Faire des projets sans licitation,
05:26 c'est aussi une matière.
05:27 - Bien, bien, bien.
05:28 - Bien sûr, laver du petit argent.
05:30 - Bien, et très important,
05:31 la collision de systèmes dans les élections cruciales.
05:34 - Et c'est ma préférée,
05:36 les enveloppes amarilles.
05:37 - Les enveloppes amarilles.
05:38 - Ah, les petits.
05:39 - Oui, oui, oui.
05:40 - Ça fonctionne parfaitement,
05:41 et c'est aussi une menace, non ?
05:43 - Tu n'as pas fini tes légumes
05:44 et tu t'es affilé au Preekins !
05:46 - Ah, oui !
05:47 - Alors, soyons réalistes,
05:49 plus que Preekins,
05:50 ce sont les forces basiques de Morena.
05:52 - Non, non, non, non.
05:53 - C'est la canterne.
05:54 - La canterne de Morena.
05:55 - Oui, oui, oui.
05:56 - C'est vrai, le Mexique a changé.
05:58 Vous êtes de l'endroit incorrect de l'histoire.
06:00 - Le pachouka de la chibaru.
06:01 - Et bien, quand ton fils a fini son diplôme,
06:03 ils lui donnent une session de botox
06:06 pour qu'il soit "igualito alito".
06:08 - Oui, oui, oui.
06:09 - C'est génial, non ?
06:10 Il y a enfin un endroit
06:11 où les enfants peuvent jouer à la Casita Blanca.
06:15 - Ah !
06:16 - Ah !
06:17 - Et d'autres choses horribles.
06:19 Mais bon, dans la politique,
06:21 pas tout est show.
06:22 - Bien non !
06:23 - Non, non, la vérité, c'est vrai.
06:25 Et c'est pour ça que la corchoula tapillon,
06:27 Ricardo Monreal, a décidé de lancer son propre programme,
06:30 un show de réalité.
06:31 Le show de Monreality.
06:33 Et ce n'est pas une blague !
06:34 C'est comme ça qu'on appelle le show de Monreality.
06:36 - Le show de Monreality, vraiment ?
06:38 - Oui.
06:39 - Wow !
06:40 - De plano !
06:41 - Le show de Monreality !
06:43 - Géniaux !
06:44 - Vraiment géniaux !
06:45 - Le type a eu l'idée d'un show de réalité.
06:49 - Ah, c'est un show !
06:51 - Salut !
06:52 - Salut !
06:53 - Un show !
06:54 - Il a dit qu'il allait être amusé !
06:56 - Oui !
06:57 - Mais qu'est-ce qu'on peut voir dans ce show de Monreality,
07:00 s'il vous plaît ?
07:01 - Bien, la vie de Monreal.
07:04 - Ah !
07:05 - La triste Monrealité.
07:07 - La vie de Monrealité.
07:09 - C'est triste, aujourd'hui, la vraie.
07:11 - Si il y a une deuxième saison,
07:13 j'espère que ce sera comme la de "Voyage avec les derbets".
07:16 - Oui.
07:17 - Mais qu'ils ne reviennent jamais.
07:19 - Si vous pensez ça, c'est une super idée.
07:21 J'ai toujours voulu savoir comment était la vie d'un sénateur
07:24 quand il ne dormait pas dans son bureau
07:26 et ne payait pas la moitié de ses impôts.
07:28 - Tu vas le faire,
07:29 parce qu'il a déjà demandé la licence à Monreal
07:31 pour être officiellement candidat.
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