My Virtual Pet and Baking Simulator
Category
🦄
CreativityTranscript
00:00 Oh no, that's another Baby Hazel game.
00:02 I'm gonna do my virtual pet.
00:04 Your virtual pet?
00:05 Yeah.
00:06 Why can't it be my virtual pet?
00:08 That's my virtual pet.
00:10 But I want it to be my virtual pet.
00:11 But it's my virtual pet.
00:13 But I want it to be MY virtual pet!
00:15 But it's MY virtual pet!
00:17 Why can't we share?
00:19 Because I don't like sharing.
00:20 Especially with you.
00:21 I'm just gonna be taking my soda and going away now.
00:28 Okay.
00:30 Oh god, it's noisy.
00:34 I kinda like this music.
00:37 Look at his eyes.
00:38 Do do do do do do do do do do do.
00:54 What should we name our pet?
00:58 It's Farfignutin.
00:59 It's really loud.
01:00 I think it's just the game.
01:01 What should we name it?
01:02 Farfignutin.
01:03 Farfignutin.
01:04 Yay, there was enough space for it.
01:09 Oh, it's so cute!
01:12 What?
01:13 How do I play?
01:16 It says- the bow's flashing, so.
01:19 Uh.
01:20 Oh my god, we can change his hair.
01:27 I think I like- yeah yeah, the Misty hairband.
01:34 Which one?
01:35 Yeah, that one.
01:36 This one?
01:37 Yeah.
01:38 The little ball-bearing headband that Misty from Pokemon has.
01:43 Unamused.
01:44 Oh, that's a little scary.
01:49 Pretty eyes.
01:52 That's a little disturbing.
01:56 So kawaii!
01:57 We're going tiny eyes.
01:59 Aw, I like unimpressed the most.
02:02 But these?
02:03 Yeah.
02:04 That's kinda cute.
02:05 Okay.
02:06 Body, tie, scarf.
02:09 She looks like she just works at a fucking- like, she looks like she works at a bank and
02:16 she's just unimpressed with your excuses.
02:18 Then we gotta give her a tie.
02:22 Et cetera.
02:24 And then we gotta give her a mustache.
02:27 Fangs, glasses, chest hair, mustache.
02:30 Yes, mustache!
02:31 A scar and cheeks.
02:33 Let's give him the mustache.
02:34 Oh, brilliant.
02:35 Oh look, he's happy.
02:36 Wait, it's eating the bag?
02:37 It just eats the whole bag.
02:38 Well, he's happy.
02:39 I'm gonna assume that there's no seed in there at all.
02:48 It's just a bag it's eating.
02:50 He's just eating a plastic bag.
02:52 Or a paper bag.
02:53 Here, eat some more.
02:55 You're almost full.
02:57 Oh, so happy!
02:59 God damn, how much do you eat, you fucking pig?
03:03 Eat it!
03:05 Okay, what is this?
03:06 Oh, it's a thing.
03:07 Oh, it's a shower.
03:08 No!
03:09 Could I do it again?
03:10 He didn't look happy.
03:11 No, no, no!
03:12 Oh no!
03:13 Playtime.
03:14 Play with the ball.
03:15 I am unamused.
03:21 Do it again.
03:30 Perform for me, monkey.
03:31 Bicycle?
03:32 I thought these were eggs.
03:35 There's like a tiny bicycle to make.
03:38 Oh, what'd I do?
03:39 Oh, fuck.
03:40 Oh god!
03:41 Oh my god!
03:42 Firefight Newton!
03:43 Is this one of those- I think this is a joke game.
03:56 Fuck you, my virtual pet.
03:58 Fuck you.
03:59 I think this is a PETA game.
04:02 Is it?
04:04 Is this a PETA game?
04:05 It better not be.
04:07 I fucking hate PETA.
04:10 Yeah, you heard me.
04:12 I said it.
04:13 Man.
04:14 Controversial.
04:15 I hate PETA.
04:16 Can your pet.
04:17 Can your pet.
04:18 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck off.
04:19 This song is great.
04:20 It's kind of a catchy song.
04:21 Oh, fuck you, man.
04:22 If canned chicken wasn't so fucking disgusting, I'd be hungry for chicken right now.
04:38 Goddammit.
04:39 That sucked.
04:40 Oh my god, that sucked.
04:46 Baking simulator.
04:47 I have to do baking simulator.
04:48 You're going to have to move over.
04:49 I have to move over.
04:50 This one's all mine.
04:51 Okay.
04:52 Okay.
04:53 Okay, so what do we got going on here?
04:54 You have to make a cake.
05:01 Okay, so first things first, we need butter.
05:08 Can you do it?
05:10 Am I not close enough?
05:14 Oh.
05:15 Okay.
05:16 Do I have the butter?
05:19 No.
05:20 Oh, that butter is slippery.
05:21 Oh, you can do it.
05:22 Try again.
05:23 You're like above the butter.
05:24 No.
05:25 How do I go down?
05:26 No.
05:27 The butter is slippery.
05:28 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:29 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:30 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:31 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:32 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:33 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:34 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:35 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:36 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:37 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:38 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:39 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:40 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:41 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:42 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:43 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:44 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:45 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:46 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:47 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:48 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:49 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:50 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:51 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:52 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:53 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:54 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:55 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:56 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:57 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:58 Oh, I'm not doing it.
05:59 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:00 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:01 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:02 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:03 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:04 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:05 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:06 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:07 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:08 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:09 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:10 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:11 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:12 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:13 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:14 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:15 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:16 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:17 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:18 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:19 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:20 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:21 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:22 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:23 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:24 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:25 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:26 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:27 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:28 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:29 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:30 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:31 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:32 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:33 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:34 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:35 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:36 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:37 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:38 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:39 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:40 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:41 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:42 Oh, I'm not doing it.
06:44 I just fished the butter.
06:46 Oh, yeah.
06:47 Ah.
06:48 Smash the glass into the butter.
06:50 Yeah, there we go.
06:51 And smear it around your hands.
06:53 Yeah.
06:54 And I'll cook it right on the palm of my flat hand.
06:58 Oh, yeah, baby.
07:00 Oh.
07:02 Is this my left hand with the palm going straight up, or is this my right hand?
07:09 And I am a freak of nature.
07:12 How about one more try?
07:15 So there is honestly no controls for making sure that the hand goes up or down.
07:20 Huh.
07:21 Yeah, looks like altitude controls are non-existent.
07:25 Oh, wait, wait, wait.
07:26 No, that's just to look up and down.
07:32 Oh, I didn't check out the rest of this place.
07:35 Wow.
07:36 Oh, God.
07:37 Oh, God, fuck, I didn't even open that.
07:38 It just did it itself.
07:39 I think it's automatic.
07:40 What am I, a giant square?
07:47 I can't get out.
07:49 You're trapped forever in the kitchen.
07:51 I'm in an existential cake nightmare.
07:54 This is annoying.
07:55 Ah.
07:56 Get that, fuck you.
07:58 Fuck you, oven.
08:00 What's on the right wall?
08:02 I don't know.
08:07 Oh, the controls again.
08:17 Can't reach the flour.
08:29 You can do it.
08:33 Nope.
08:34 I honestly can't.
08:36 What the fuck?
08:40 You gotta get at least one ingredient in the bowl.
08:43 Try some eggs.
08:45 You didn't try those last time.
08:47 Fair enough.
08:51 God, they're lower than- there's just no ability to play this game.
08:55 It's like- I've seen it done.
08:59 I know it's done.
09:00 No, it can be done.
09:02 I don't believe you.
09:07 I can't believe you.
09:08 I can't believe it's not butter.
09:11 If not, it's sugar.
09:13 Now grip your fist.
09:17 You can do it.
09:18 Oh, you moved it.
09:20 That's progress.
09:24 You suck at baking cakes.
09:28 I thought you were a hobby chef.
09:30 I thought Alton Brown would be just so disappointed in you.
09:33 What's a chef?
09:34 Go put your head in the oven.
09:36 What's a chef?
09:37 I'm sorry.
09:38 Oh, shut up.
09:39 Am I an English teacher?
09:40 I must be an English teacher because-
09:42 I never profess to actually know English.
09:44 I just teach it.
09:50 Fuck this.
09:51 Fuck this.
09:52 I can't even knock things off the table.
09:54 You can't even brush things off the table in horror.
09:59 You can't even suicide by oven?
10:00 Yeah, it sounds good to me.
10:02 Great.
10:03 I can't even do that.
10:05 You can't even suicide by oven.
10:08 We are failures at failing.
10:11 Oh, God.
10:13 Okay, I'm just going to stare at this corner.
10:16 Bye, everybody.
10:18 Oh, gosh.
10:20 [Music]