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00:00 B&B Friends Double Digest 273.
00:05 It sure is a good thing the title says "What If?"
00:08 Because it starts out with Veronica whipping to behind a bush to spy on Archie and Betty in the park without explaining why she can do that.
00:17 So it justifies the story as a "What If?" scenario by saying "What If?" in the title.
00:22 But I still think part of the appeal would be to see an explanation for how it's possible.
00:28 We could've gotten to see Mr. Lodge and Betty's parents use witchcraft too, to justify why they have powers.
00:35 Betty wonders how Veronica always manages to stumble into Archie when she's trying to date him.
00:41 The next night, Veronica explains to Archie that any time she makes plans with him, Betty finds out and butts in.
00:48 So she had to invite him to the movies at the last minute.
00:52 She gets told she did what Betty did and says that's different without explaining why because she's too dumb to.
01:00 And Betty warps behind them with smoke that makes Veronica cough.
01:04 This would be caught on camera so a spy witch must erase the footage later.
01:09 She says she has a knack for that too.
01:12 If they're both magical because they were born witches, wouldn't they have already figured out the other girl's witch much earlier?
01:19 This would only make sense if they both only recently got told they're witches.
01:25 With the same excuse Nighty Sabrina had that she was only told to that at age 16 because she's half mortal.
01:32 Because Archie talks to Jughead as if this is a new thing he's dealing with.
01:37 Like he just moved to Riverdale.
01:39 Which could also explain it.
01:42 Veronica looks in the crystal ball and Betty looks in a cup of tea leaves to find out where Archie is.
01:48 And they both warped right beside each other.
01:51 Lucky for them they didn't telephrag themselves together because they warped so close to each other.
01:58 Veronica says Betty must be a witch as well and Betty says that explains a lot over the years.
02:03 These two would have to be complete idiots to have taken years to figure out the other one was a witch.
02:08 Luckily they don't instantly decide to abuse magic on each other.
02:13 Instead Veronica says they should get down to business and Betty agrees.
02:18 And they both harass Archie when he's just trying to have fun with Jughead.
02:22 I feel like relationships are supposed to have a boundary so this kind of thing can still happen or it won't be worth it.
02:29 Archie's so unlucky that both of his main girls don't respect this rule.
02:34 I assume the reason they don't summon another Archie is that they know they want the actual Archie.
02:41 Veronica asks Betty what she should turn Archie into because she knows she's a witch.
02:46 When regardless she should have been raised to try to keep magic a secret.
02:51 So she would have kept this to whisper and Betty would have also whispered.
02:56 They decide to have a magic duel in the park as I'm sure Archie is still next to her confused to what she's saying.
03:03 After all she says right as if she's immediately continuing on from what Betty said.
03:08 How could Archie have teleported to the trampoline a second later?
03:13 Why does Betty schedule the magic duel for tomorrow night when they could do it now?
03:19 They warp to the park while wearing witch costumes and see Sabrina kissing Archie.
03:24 Sabrina doesn't even open her eyes but she somehow knew to warp these two to the moon.
03:30 And I just have to assume they're surrounded by an air bubble.
03:33 They would have died otherwise and she's not evil.
03:36 How did she know to do this if she had her eyes closed?
03:39 Well she would have heard Betty and Veronica and Archie says he did.
03:43 But she wouldn't have scared the living daylights out of them.
03:46 She would have just warped them to their beds and made them think they only dreamed about going to the park.
03:52 She would have thought she could get away with it because she wouldn't have seen their witch outfits.
03:57 Betty says there was a zap which has confirmed that only witches can hear zaps.
04:02 Because if mortals could, Archie would comment on that too and every mortal would look any time magic was used.
04:08 So I wish that was outright explained.
04:10 But again you'd think they would have figured out their rival was a witch much earlier because they would have heard a zap.
04:17 And the story ends without us getting to see Sabrina's magic undo its screw ups.
04:22 Really getting to a great story.
04:25 This story by Bill Golliher is about what I have to assume is another universe where Betty and Veronica were born witches.
04:33 As you'd expect they do nothing but abuse the powers.
04:37 But at least all they do with them is track down and warp to Archie.
04:40 It still sucks for him and makes witchcraft look bad.
04:43 But they could be worse.
04:45 It doesn't take advantage of Betty's character though because she's supposed to be a goody two shoes.
04:50 So she would be using magic for good too.
04:55 And we don't get to see that.
04:56 Her whole life revolves around Archie like it's back in the 50's for her.
04:59 Why do Betty and Veronica take years to figure out the other one is a witch if they've been using their powers for years?
05:06 Because Betty says that explains the last few years.
05:09 And they can hear zaps.
05:11 And yet Archie talks to Jughead as if he's just started going through this problem where he can never escape from Betty and Veronica.
05:19 That confusion could have been avoided with a simple dialogue rewrite.
05:24 Where instead they just got told they're witches because they hit age 16.
05:28 And Archie never said this.
05:31 And the plot would be the same.
05:33 It would have been a lot more interesting as a story if these two didn't just use the same spell over and over again.
05:39 Make it Miss Potential.
05:41 And speaking of that, why didn't their parents use magic?
05:45 It was awesome to see Veronica's purple witch costume.
05:49 But it would have been even more awesome to see the plot continue after we saw Archie dating Sabrina.
05:55 What's also a missed opportunity is her not zapping up a whole bunch of different outfits from Paris.
06:01 I suppose maybe she wouldn't do that because she likes buying clothes as a status symbol.
06:08 So if she got it for free it would be no better than buying it at a discount store.
06:13 Next up is World of Betty and Veronica Jumbo Comics 13.
06:18 What a story.
06:20 Sabrina tells a girl she's babysitting for once to go to sleep.
06:23 What's confusing is that this story is by Dan Parent when he's someone who wrote a lot of the 90s Sabrina comics.
06:30 But Sabrina's got her bob haircut like she's the 70s Sabrina.
06:34 So which comic is this?
06:36 The girl asks for just one more story.
06:39 So she agrees to read her one chapter of Alice in Wonderland.
06:42 She hiccups and then wonders where the girl went.
06:45 Because nonsense she disappeared just because she hiccuped even though she wasn't imagining that to happen.
06:51 So why would her magic make that happen when she doesn't want it to?
06:55 Also there's no reason she couldn't just point and imagine her teleporting back to her and immediately get her back.
07:01 She could erase her memory of what happened.
07:03 Yeah how did she get inside that book? Sabrina didn't want that to happen.
07:06 This was just an excuse for them to go into a pocket universe Sabrina created based off Alice in Wonderland.
07:11 That has it's portal on the book's pages.
07:14 But it'd be better if this was Cousin Esmeralda instead because she could ask Sabrina to bring her into the book because she's bored of just reading about fairy tales.
07:22 So that'd make a way more believable premise.
07:25 Then because bullshit Sabrina can't use magic to warp into the book but when she hiccups she goes in there anyways.
07:31 Why would magic be like this?
07:33 The little girl conveniently assumes she's dreaming.
07:35 Makes sense since she was just being read a bedtime story.
07:39 So the rabbit shows up inviting them to a tea party and people insist that they come because Alice disappeared.
07:46 It's so brave of Sabrina to just snark "Well that's rude" when the queen says "Off with their heads"
07:53 but at the same time it's also stupidly gutsy to say to a queen.
07:58 The queen says that neither of them belong in this story.
08:01 I guess the reason they're calling their universe that's real to them a story is that that's how Sabrina's magic made the pocket universe.
08:09 Because Sabrina thinks of it as a story.
08:12 Conveniently, Della shows up here because she detected a case of the witch-ups and traced it to her.
08:18 Well good thing.
08:20 So Sabrina thanks her and says her magic is all messed up.
08:24 At least that was a twist.
08:26 She was being good and useful for once.
08:28 Della makes me satisfied when she points at the queen and says "I've grown tired of you"
08:33 and she actually turns her into a talking cat.
08:36 That's less cruel than killing her like I'd expect.
08:39 The story ends with the little girl being dismissed as a liar by her parents.
08:43 But thankfully she's still smiling and her mom says that whenever Sabrina babysits Sarah she always comes up with the wildest stories.
08:50 But she thought she was dreaming.
08:52 She'd just tell her parents she was dreaming.
08:55 Of course that'd be a wild story.
08:57 This story by Dan Parent was about Sabrina reading a bedtime story to a little girl she was babysitting
09:02 just to get drawn to the story of Alice in Wonderland because she was hiccuping.
09:07 It doesn't make any sense that she and her would get sent there if Sabrina didn't want that to happen just because she was hiccuping.
09:13 Her magic would know what she wants.
09:15 They weren't in the story nearly long enough for things to get interesting.
09:18 It just had the story's characters in it and had the tea party.
09:20 The queen was annoying so it looks like the only point of using the Alice in Wonderland story was to save creative effort.
09:27 And then Della shows up because it turns out she conveniently monitors the universe for any sign of the witch ups
09:35 and helps out the witches suffering from it.
09:37 Apparently she is good for something.
09:39 I liked how she gave the queen a punishment for being mean I guess.
09:43 Absolutely no idea what story this originated in if it didn't originate in that.
09:50 Because now we're in the really late Sabrina stories where there's practically no information about them on comics.org.
09:57 World of Betty and Veronica Jumbo Comics 19
10:01 After Betty and Veronica decide to go to a costume party as witches,
10:06 Cheryl wastes time insulting Veronica's fashion sense which would only make sense if she was lying.
10:13 And Veronica wishes Archie was here and it warps him there.
10:17 Archie complains because he wanted to do something relatable at home
10:21 and Ronnie wants to see something so she puts the witch's hat back on and wishes he was back home
10:26 and he texts Betty to say he just beat his highest score.
10:30 He'd also ask what that was all about.
10:33 Since Ronnie's wish didn't include and he didn't remember that.
10:38 But if he didn't remember that, he wouldn't have bothered texting because he would think she wouldn't care that he did that.
10:44 I have to just assume the reason the witch hats are magical is that reckless witches who don't care whether mortals use magic hats
10:51 donated them to the thrift store.
10:53 Even though according to Little Sabrina, this kind of thing would result in the head witch showing up to the witch
10:58 and reversing time to get everything back to normal.
11:01 But this isn't Little Sabrina, so apparently the head witch doesn't care about this.
11:06 A spy witch keeping track of what bad deeds the witch did would have seen them donate these hats.
11:12 Veronica and Betty end up flying on a broomstick they're taking the risk of sharing even though they don't always get along.
11:19 Betty somehow says she can't believe she did that
11:23 even though they were going to a costume party as witches.
11:26 Of course she'd want to get to do this.
11:28 And they both dress like witches.
11:31 Although Betty doesn't have a hat on for no reason.
11:34 They hear Jughead complain that he's so hungry but his burger is so small,
11:38 so Veronica uses her magic to make the burger grow.
11:42 And luckily he just appreciates it without asking if he's dreaming.
11:47 He just says he won't be hungry until dessert
11:50 as I'm proud of Veronica for being the type to use magic for good just to brighten up someone's day.
11:56 Too bad she turns Cheryl's hair green at the drop of a hat.
11:59 This is the kind of thing I don't want to see non-stop.
12:03 It's bad enough the 2010 Sabrina stories were almost nothing but magic being bad,
12:08 missing the whole unique appeal of the series.
12:11 But she did do something annoying this issue.
12:15 She still looks great though.
12:17 But Veronica must be joking when she says green suits her or she'd change her to look worse.
12:22 Betty just desperately hopes she'll conclude that she got her hair turned green because she insulted Veronica,
12:29 even though that was a long time ago.
12:31 And she might have done other nasty things afterwards.
12:35 So with that logic she'd blame it on those.
12:38 They see Raj filming a movie with some friends,
12:41 complaining that their acting sucks because they aren't acting scared enough.
12:46 Betty wishes a real ghost would scare them.
12:49 And of course he makes them quit.
12:51 Then it chases Veronica and Betty who suddenly become complete idiots and run away instead of instantly wishing it away.
12:58 They could also imagine they were home and go home.
13:02 Somehow Veronica says they should have wished for running shoes rather than wishing it away.
13:07 They could wish for speed shoes.
13:10 It's nice that they're hugging but they should know better.
13:13 Sabrina saves them with a magical vacuum
13:17 and somehow expects me to believe only a magic vacuum cleaner could handle a ghost.
13:23 She makes herself look like an idiot by saying she just thought someone left litter in the woods when it once looked like a ghost.
13:31 And there's really no point trying to make them think the ghost was just litter.
13:35 She's better off just erasing their memory.
13:38 The story ends with Cheryl complaining
13:41 and thankfully Sabrina stays in character because she looks alarmed at her green hair instead of laughing at her like they did.
13:48 This story by Frances Bonnet is about Betty and Veronica getting magic from witch costumes at the thrift store
13:55 which they use to bully Cheryl and feed Jughead.
13:59 I love that it was kind of explained why they have magic this time.
14:03 Although you still have to just assume witch is donated to the costumes
14:07 and that still makes you wonder why the head witch doesn't go reverse everything
14:11 and why the costumes even had magic on their own in the first place when it isn't the habit of witches.
14:16 It's a shame Cheryl being punished for one forced lie is the only thing memorable about the story
14:22 because it's really good that Veronica cared enough to use magic to make Jughead happy just on a whim
14:29 with no benefit to herself.
14:31 This sort of thing should have happened way more often.
14:34 It's the best thing about the story but instead they go on to summon a ghost to scare people to help Raj.
14:41 But then somehow they don't even try to wish it away from them
14:44 because somehow magic summoned a ghost that wasn't on their side
14:48 and Sabrina has to save them because only a magic vacuum can get rid of ghosts all of a sudden.
14:55 Again I'm glad Sabrina showed up.
14:57 It would be weird to have her not in a story like this.
15:01 It's a relief that these two never thought to use their magic against each other to fight over Archie.
15:07 Instead Ronnie warped him home and cared enough about him to keep him there just because he wanted to be there.
15:13 It's still out of character that they stopped thinking about Archie after that.
15:18 But it's a much better story that way because they torment him enough without magic.
15:23 So it was definitely a better story than the last time.
15:27 [BLANK_AUDIO]