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AmusantTranscription
00:00 (upbeat music)
00:03 - One, two, three.
00:05 (upbeat music)
00:08 (upbeat music)
00:11 (upbeat music)
00:40 - Good news everyone, I've sold Planet Express to Mom.
00:45 - Gah, bah, bah, bah.
00:48 - Also, why are you wearing that funky hat?
00:51 - What?
00:52 Oh, this?
00:55 No reason.
00:56 - Hmm, that was odd, mighty odd.
01:01 - Are you off your net, Professor?
01:03 How could you sell the company to Mom?
01:06 - I had to, we've been losing money.
01:09 - Perhaps my strategy of using a giant spaceship
01:13 to deliver one package at a time
01:15 wasn't as clever as I thought.
01:18 Plus, you three never actually charged anyone.
01:22 - Yeah, sorry about that.
01:23 - Sorry.
01:24 - Ah, this bends.
01:26 - Oh, fuf.
01:27 It's not like this is the end of the world as we know it.
01:31 - This is the end of the world as we know it.
01:36 - Has anyone ever noticed how Fry always seems
01:39 to turn on the TV at just the right moment?
01:42 - With her recent purchase of Planet Express,
01:45 evil entrepreneur Mom now owns over 50% of the Earth,
01:49 making her its supreme ruler.
01:52 At the risk of editorializing,
01:54 this reporter applauds the demise
01:57 of the pathetic human species.
02:00 (evil laughing)
02:04 - The situation is indeed grim.
02:07 We go now to a live statement from Mom.
02:10 - Oh, don't worry dearies.
02:13 The only change I'm making is that Mother Earth
02:17 will now be called Mom Earth.
02:20 - Aw, that's cute.
02:23 - Also, you're all my slaves,
02:30 and anyone who doesn't report for duty
02:32 before curfew tonight will be blasted
02:35 by hover-bond death troopers.
02:37 (dramatic music)
02:39 - Okay, okay.
02:45 In hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have sold her Planet Express.
02:50 Must be my hind cataracts.
02:53 - Well, the Earth isn't safe anymore.
02:55 As captain, I propose we get the hell out of here.
02:59 - Amen, sister.
03:00 - To the ship!
03:01 (dramatic music)
03:04 - Oh no, the ship's all wanged up.
03:21 Who could have done such a thing?
03:23 - It wasn't me this time, I swear.
03:27 - No matter.
03:28 We need to repair the ship and we need to do it fast.
03:31 Leela, you start banging on the control panel.
03:35 - I'm on it.
03:36 - Spender, you'll have to bend the ship back into shape.
03:40 - Man, how come I always have to do
03:42 all the bending around here?
03:44 - And Fry, you, uh, what exactly do you know how to do?
03:49 - I can burp the alphabet.
03:52 A, B, D.
03:56 - No, wait.
03:57 I've got a mission for you, Fry.
04:00 Find a hammer.
04:02 - Yes, sir.
04:02 (dramatic music)
04:06 - Whoa!
04:15 (crash)
04:17 (alarm ringing)
04:20 - Oh, what happened?
04:25 - You were crushed under two tons of debris.
04:28 - And you died!
04:29 (laughing)
04:32 It was so funny!
04:35 I guess you had to be there.
04:40 - I don't get it.
04:41 If that's me dead over there, who am I here?
04:44 - You're also you, thanks to my latest invention,
04:48 the reanimator.
04:50 Every time you die, it will automatically
04:53 make an exact duplicate of you based on your X-rays,
04:57 a DNA sample, and some scrapings
05:00 from the inside of your tennis shoes.
05:03 - Wow, when did you invent it?
05:06 - About a week ago, and I've been trying
05:08 to kill you to test it ever since.
05:11 - Oh, Professor, here's the hammer I died getting for you.
05:15 - Oh, you can keep that piece of junk.
05:19 (groaning)
05:22 - Sadly, though, there was one part I was unable to repair.
05:27 - Not the dark matter engine, not the dark matter engine!
05:30 - The dark matter engine!
05:32 - Ah, crap!
05:34 - But don't we have a backup engine?
05:35 - We did, but we never used it, it being backup and all.
05:40 So I pawned it.
05:42 - You pawned it?
05:44 Why?
05:45 - For the same reason everyone pawns everything
05:48 in America, to get a gun.
05:52 - Okey-dokey, Fry, go to the pawn shop
05:55 and get back our engine.
05:58 - But there's a curfew.
05:59 Hoverbot death troopers are roaming the street.
06:02 - Ah, yes.
06:04 Then you'll have to take the sewers.
06:07 - But what about the super mutants?
06:10 - I gave you a gun.
06:12 What do you want, a flower dress?
06:14 Now stop being a wussy and get going.
06:17 (upbeat music)
06:20 (upbeat music)
06:22 (upbeat music)
06:25 (upbeat music)
06:28 (upbeat music)
06:36 (upbeat music)
06:38 (upbeat music)
06:41 (upbeat music)
06:43 (upbeat music)
06:46 (upbeat music)
06:49 (upbeat music)
06:51 (upbeat music)
06:54 (upbeat music)
06:56 (upbeat music)
06:59 - Does this casing make me look fat?
07:02 - Stop asking me that.
07:04 (upbeat music)
07:06 (upbeat music)
07:09 (upbeat music)
07:12 (upbeat music)
07:15 - I know I'm supposed to like robot women,
07:17 but sometimes, well, you like human women?
07:21 No, robot men.
07:24 Oh.
07:24 - Why use my own legs like an idiot
07:29 when I can use a chicken walker?
07:30 (upbeat music)
07:33 (upbeat music)
07:36 (upbeat music)
07:38 (upbeat music)
07:41 (upbeat music)
07:43 (upbeat music)
07:46 (gunshots)
07:48 (air whooshes)
07:49 - Fry, you have the engine.
07:52 Great work.
07:53 You surprised us all, and pleasantly this time.
07:57 - Yeah, Fry's great.
07:59 Now let's roll.
08:00 - Shotgun.
08:01 (gunshots)
08:02 (beeping)
08:04 (air whooshes)
08:07 (air whooshes)
08:09 (air whooshes)
08:11 - There, the engine's in place.
08:13 And we've got that gizmo that gives me more lives.
08:16 - Prepare for liftoff.
08:18 (upbeat music)
08:20 (upbeat music)
08:23 - Farewell, big blue ball of idiots.
08:27 (upbeat music)
08:29 (upbeat music)
08:31 - Universe, prepare to be taken over.
08:36 I give you, spaceship Earth.
08:40 (upbeat music)
08:43 (upbeat music)
08:45 (upbeat music)
08:48 (upbeat music)
08:51 (upbeat music)
08:53 (alarm blaring)
08:55 - A ship appears to be leaving the planet, mother.
08:58 - What?
08:59 Show me.
09:01 - It's right here on the radar screen.
09:03 - Damn it, Larry.
09:04 Radar's been obsolete for centuries.
09:06 Use the stereopticon.
09:08 (Larry screams)
09:10 - I deserve that, thank you.
09:11 (beeping)
09:15 - The Planet Express ship.
09:17 So they're trying to escape, eh?
09:20 No matter.
09:22 We'll just have to hunt them down like common kittens.
09:25 (beeping)
09:26 (alarm blaring)
09:29 - More power.
09:32 - Aye, aye, sir.
09:33 (alarm blaring)
09:37 - More, more.
09:41 Pull harder, you son of a me.
09:44 (slapping)
09:45 - Ow.
09:46 (explosion)
09:48 - Sweet butt crust on a cracker.
09:53 Who'd have thought this miserable little planet
09:55 would be so heavy?
09:57 - Uh, Walt would.
09:59 - How dare you, Walt?
10:01 (slapping)
10:02 - Ow.
10:03 (alarm blaring)
10:05 (dramatic music)
10:08 (cracking)
10:25 (alarm blaring)
10:27 (cracking)
10:31 - Welcome to South-South.
10:39 What can I doze yous for?
10:41 - I need a spaceship engine.
10:43 Nothing special.
10:45 Well, except it has to be powerful enough to move the Earth.
10:49 - The Earth?
10:51 Holy Jesuses.
10:53 For that, you're gonna need a dark matter engine
10:56 and a big one's a that.
10:58 - Money's no object,
10:59 as I will soon be taking over the universe.
11:03 Perhaps you've heard of it?
11:04 - Hmm, a dark matter engine.
11:07 You're gonna have to find the guy who invented it,
11:10 Hubert Farnsworth.
11:12 - That old goat from Planet Express?
11:15 But he just cut away that mother-loving no-good piece of--
11:18 - Don't worry, I gots an idea.
11:21 I mean, an ideas.
11:24 (dramatic music)
11:27 - Good news.
11:34 I've programmed the re-animator to work for Bender as well.
11:39 - So now I can die and come back to life like Fry?
11:42 This is the happiest day of my life.
11:47 (sobbing)
11:51 (lasers firing)
11:54 - I gots him in the suck beam.
12:07 - Lovely.
12:07 (screaming)
12:11 - Everyone just remain calm.
12:16 - We're gonna die!
12:17 It's every robot for itself!
12:19 (screaming)
12:22 - Um, that robot appears to be escaping.
12:33 - Yes, escaping to certain death!
12:37 (laughing)
12:47 - Well, I'm bone.
12:50 (screaming)
12:52 (laughing)
13:01 I'm back, baby.
13:03 - Bender, you mechanical marvel!
13:10 Are you there?
13:11 - Huh, what?
13:13 Who said that?
13:14 Is it God?
13:15 - No, though I'm as old as him.
13:18 - Oh, hey, professor.
13:20 What are you doing inside my head?
13:22 - I'm transmitting over your internal radio.
13:26 - Hello?
13:27 - Our ship is still trapped in the suck ray.
13:31 We need you to find the source of the beam and disable it.
13:35 - What's in it for me, Bender?
13:38 - Uh, well, no.
13:40 We'll rescue you and take you with us
13:42 off this God-forsaken asteroid.
13:45 - No deal.
13:46 - I've got a box of magazines with Fembot Center Falls.
13:51 - Roger that, over and out.
13:53 - I'm gonna get my fourth century on his ass.
13:55 (chanting)
13:57 (screaming)
14:08 (chanting)
14:10 - Curse it, robot.
14:23 You haven't seen the last of me.
14:25 Unless you die before I see you again,
14:27 in which case you have!
14:29 (explosion)
14:58 - Good work, Bender.
14:59 You saved us from Mom's evil arthritic clutches.
15:04 - Yeah, good.
15:06 Good, good, good.
15:08 - So what now, professor?
15:10 Are you gonna invent something that saves the day?
15:13 That's what you usually do.
15:14 - Alas, I'm not that skilled an inventor,
15:18 but I know someone who is.
15:20 My mentor and former graduate advisor, Adoy.
15:26 He lives here on the planet Borgand.
15:29 - But that's in the furthest corner of the universe,
15:33 and we don't even have enough dark matter fuel
15:35 to get out of the solar system.
15:37 - Then I guess you'll have to find some leela.
15:41 (explosion)
15:43 - The jig is up, snot heads.
15:56 - But we just got away from you.
15:57 - Hmm, I probably should have disabled her ship or something
16:01 when I was down on that asteroid.
16:04 Well, live and learn.
16:05 - What do you want, Mom?
16:08 - I've come for the blueprints to your dark matter engine.
16:12 - Well, you're out of luck.
16:14 The only blueprints are here in my head.
16:18 - Oh, fine, then we'll take that.
16:21 (explosion)
16:22 - Whoa!
16:23 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
16:25 (dramatic music)
16:28 (gasps)
16:36 - The worst part is the phantom hemorrhoids.
16:39 Avenge my decapitation!
16:41 (dramatic music)
16:54 - Now to get rid of the rest of those
16:56 Planet Express jerkbots once and for all.
17:00 - All right, everything worked out fine.
17:10 - Oh no, we're heading straight into the sun.
17:14 - We're heading into the sun?
17:15 Oh, it's, oh, whoa!
17:17 (dramatic music)
17:22 (explosion)
17:24 - Not my best landing.
17:34 Is everyone all right?
17:35 - Yeah, I'm okay.
17:37 Fortunately, I landed on something soft.
17:40 (ding)
17:44 (whoosh)
17:46 - I'm fine, too.
17:47 No thanks to our chubby robot friend.
17:50 - At least the ship is operational.
17:52 - We should be able to get out of here easily,
17:54 unless we're out of dark matter fuel,
17:58 which we are.
17:59 (dramatic music)
18:03 - Whoa, check it out.
18:17 - Be careful, Fry.
18:18 You're not supposed to look directly at the sun.
18:22 - Greetings, you aliens from other planet.
18:26 - What?
18:27 Oh, okay, fine, I got you.
18:29 All right, take us to your leader.
18:33 - I am Ra-Ra, the Sun King.
18:36 Normally, that'd make me leader,
18:38 but we have little coup d'etat recently.
18:41 - Was it godless communists?
18:43 - No, it was God, mighty, mighty Sun God.
18:46 Apparently, him develop taste for flesh of own worshippers.
18:52 Sun people so afraid,
18:53 they not even set foot on own sun porches.
18:57 - Big whoop.
18:58 Everyone's afraid of some god or another.
19:01 - Actually, we more afraid of army of undead warriors
19:04 Sun God create from bones of victims.
19:07 - Oh, those'll get you all right.
19:10 - Perhaps, if you find way into seal temple,
19:14 you can defeat Sun God and save Sun people.
19:17 - Gee, I really care about your lame people
19:20 and your crummy temple, but we're gonna have to pass.
19:25 - You be handsomely rewarded.
19:27 - Amen.
19:28 - So, Kimo Sabe, you got any dark matter?
19:31 - It our chief export.
19:33 - Then you've got yourself a deal.
19:36 Hey, where are you two going?
19:38 - Sorry, Leela, I'd love to help you save the sun,
19:41 but I burn easily.
19:43 - And I melt easily, but save me my share of the reward.
19:47 (door creaking)
19:50 (crashing)
19:52 (groaning)
19:54 - Let 'em, big toaster.
20:02 - Something's about to happen.
20:07 I can feel it in my bones.
20:10 - Ah, good one.
20:11 (upbeat music)
20:14 (beeping)
20:16 (beeping)
20:18 - One, two, three, blast off.
20:24 - Welcome, welcome, welcome.
20:31 (upbeat music)
20:34 (crashing)
20:36 - Huh, you wouldn't think a god could be mortally wounded.
21:03 - You found me out.
21:05 I'm not really a god.
21:07 I'm just an ordinary, eternal,
21:11 omniscient, super intelligent being.
21:15 - So why did you allow all those people to be killed?
21:18 - For their bones, of course,
21:21 which I use to create my army of bone bots.
21:25 - Bone bots?
21:26 You know, normal people make their robot armies
21:28 out of metal.
21:30 - Yes, but my way is more easy.
21:32 - You're evil.
21:34 (laughing)
21:36 (screaming)
21:43 (splashing)
21:45 (dramatic music)
22:01 - Evil sun god is gone.
22:04 Thank you, weird one-eyed woman.
22:06 You save our planet.
22:08 - Star, actually.
22:09 - Whatever.
22:10 And now for reward.
22:12 Full tank worth dark matter.
22:17 - Oh yeah, baby.
22:19 Let's fuel up and ditch this awful sty.
22:23 Uh, no offense.
22:24 - None taken.
22:25 But first you must come to temple and celebrate with us.
22:29 - The temple?
22:30 - Yes, cherished temple.
22:33 Sacred center of all life unsung.
22:36 - Uh, we'd love to stay, but uh.
22:38 - We've got a thing.
22:43 - Yeah, that.
22:44 - She's it.
22:48 - Them nice people.
22:52 (dramatic music)
22:55 (exploding)
22:57 (dramatic music)
23:00 - Ah, my dear professor's head.
23:23 - With your brains and my evil,
23:26 I shall soon take over the universe.
23:30 - You'll never get away with it, mom.
23:33 - But I've turned the planet Earth
23:35 into a gigantic warship.
23:37 - Oh my, in that case, you probably will get away with it.
23:41 (dramatic music)
23:45 - It's hot, oh god, my head.
23:53 - In pain.
23:53 (laughing)
23:57 (exploding)
24:03 (dramatic music)
24:05 - So this is Bogad?
24:31 - Ooh, creepy, huh?
24:33 - Yeah, and ugly.
24:34 - I can't imagine what kind of disgusting,
24:37 foul creatures we'll find here.
24:40 - Hello.
24:41 - Dr. Zoidberg?
24:43 What are you doing here?
24:45 - Making a cameo.
24:47 It's so nice to see you, my friends in the robot.
24:51 - This is so unlikely.
24:53 - Hey, what's that, Kajigger?
24:56 - Hmm, I'm not sure, but judging by its scales
25:00 and long tongue, I'd say it's a horse.
25:04 - Giddy up!
25:07 - Yee-haw!
25:08 - I'm a cowboy, I am.
25:10 (horse neighing)
25:13 - This must be the place.
25:17 (doorbell ringing)
25:20 - Yes?
25:21 - Um, are you a doy?
25:24 - A doy?
25:26 I haven't heard that name in years.
25:28 - Yeah, that's me.
25:29 - Uh, okay.
25:30 We were sent here by the professor.
25:34 - Ah, I remember the professor.
25:37 Of course, back then, I was the one called the professor.
25:41 Wait, who are we talking about?
25:42 - Oh, boy.
25:44 - Professor Hubert Farnsworth.
25:47 - Never heard of him.
25:49 So what can I do for my dear old protege?
25:51 - He said you might be able to help us.
25:54 Long story short, mom cut off his head,
25:57 and now she's trying to take over the universe.
26:00 - Oh, terrible, terrible, terrible.
26:02 But there's nothing we can do about it now.
26:06 So it's a good thing you came to me.
26:08 - This guy's not making any sense.
26:11 Can I kill him?
26:12 - This is my latest invention, the time tunneler.
26:19 With it, you can travel back in time
26:22 and stop mom before she became unstoppable.
26:25 - More bet on horses I know we're gonna win.
26:28 So long, suckers.
26:30 Oh, man, I'm still here.
26:37 - You need to charge it first, a doy.
26:41 The power generator is over there.
26:44 You can get to it along this dangerous path
26:47 laden with quicksand.
26:49 I know, I know, it was a terrible place
26:52 to build the generator, I'm sorry.
26:54 - Give me a break here.
26:56 But the time machine has a hand crank.
26:58 Doesn't that work?
27:00 - Sort of.
27:01 If you turn the handle for two minutes,
27:04 it'll send the universe two minutes back in time.
27:08 - So it gets us back to when we started turning the handle?
27:12 Yippee.
27:13 - No, wait, that might be all we need
27:15 to get to the generator, if one of us is fast enough.
27:20 - Great, another dangerous mission.
27:23 Who's the sucker this time?
27:25 - Dr. Zoidberg.
27:26 - Hooray, I'm the hero.
27:28 - Hooray, we don't have to do anything.
27:32 (horse neighs)
27:34 - Okay, Zoidberg, once I start cranking,
27:37 you've got two minutes to get to where I can see you.
27:40 Otherwise, I'll assume you've been killed and rewind time.
27:44 - Killed, huh?
27:46 I'm no doctor, but that sounds painful.
27:49 - Oh, it is, trust me.
27:50 - Good luck, monster bait.
27:53 (dramatic music)
27:56 - Zoidberg makes it to safety,
28:22 and the crowd goes wild.
28:24 (Zoidberg groans)
28:27 Zoidberg pulls the lever.
28:32 (Zoidberg screams)
28:36 (Zoidberg laughs)
28:37 - The time-tuddler is working.
28:40 - Fantabulous-tic.
28:42 Now we can go back in time and fight Mom.
28:45 - Woo!
28:46 - And save the professor.
28:47 - Yeah, whatever.
28:49 (electricity crackles)
28:53 - Goodbye, heroes.
28:54 I'll never forget you, whoever you were.
28:59 (Zoidberg screams)
29:01 (dramatic music)
29:04 (Zoidberg screams)
29:13 - So what should I do now, guys?
29:21 Hello?
29:22 Friends?
29:24 Hello?
29:25 Hello?
29:28 (dramatic music)
29:33 (Zoidberg screams)
29:41 - We're gonna die!
29:43 - What's the big deal?
29:44 We've been dying all day.
29:46 - We're even more out of control than usual.
29:49 Prepare for crappy landing.
29:51 (dramatic music)
29:54 - Well, at least now we know who trashed our ship.
30:03 - Oh no, it's already nine.
30:05 If we wanna stop Mom from having bought
30:07 Planet Express in the first place,
30:09 we better hurry to the ship.
30:11 (crash)
30:15 - Now, if I understand time paradoxes,
30:19 we're supposed to take the good ship
30:22 and leave the bad ship behind for the original us, right?
30:26 - The bad behind, say again?
30:28 - Ugh, just get in.
30:31 (dramatic music)
30:34 - As soon as you sign here, Planet Express will be mine.
30:45 (Zoidberg laughs)
30:49 - Did I do something funny?
30:51 - No, I'm sorry.
30:53 I should save my evil laugh 'til after you sign.
30:56 - Okay then.
30:57 (crash)
31:02 - Don't sign that, Professor!
31:06 We came from the future.
31:07 It's a trick.
31:09 - You are?
31:10 - Once Mom gets Planet Express,
31:12 she's gonna take over the Earth.
31:14 - And then she's gonna turn it into a giant spaceship
31:18 and take over the universe.
31:20 - Man, that was cool.
31:22 Earth is all...
31:23 (Zoidberg makes spaceship sounds)
31:27 And the other planets are like...
31:31 (Zoidberg makes spaceship sounds)
31:34 (Zoidberg screams)
31:37 - Eh, how droll.
31:38 Could I talk to you three over here for a moment?
31:44 A little to your left.
31:46 Wonderful.
31:48 (Zoidberg screams)
31:51 - Destructor exiting target practice mode.
32:01 Destructor initiating kill all humans mode!
32:05 (Zoidberg screams)
32:08 And so, I die the way I lived.
32:16 As a giant robot.
32:17 (zap)
32:20 - Yeah!
32:24 - Nice shooting, Fry.
32:27 Way to waste that evil robot.
32:30 - Oh, so just because a robot wants to kill humans,
32:33 he must be evil?
32:35 That is so prejudiced, Leela.
32:38 - He wanted to kill you too, Bender.
32:41 - Yeah?
32:41 Well...
32:42 You shut up!
32:46 (dramatic music)
32:50 (beeping)
32:52 (beeping)
32:54 (beeping)
33:06 - Oh no!
33:21 Re-animator!
33:22 - Bummer.
33:23 We'll just have to be careful not to die from now on.
33:27 - You had to say that.
33:29 (explosion)
33:31 - Oh, dammit, Mom!
33:35 No one kills my crew except for me!
33:38 You're going down!
33:41 - Oh, please.
33:42 You wouldn't hit a lady.
33:45 - I suppose you're right.
33:47 Though I won't do this!
33:49 - Why, no!
33:51 You broke my hip!
33:54 - I don't care.
33:55 You wanted Planet Express
33:57 so you could take over the universe, eh?
33:59 Well, I guess your evil plan is foiled now,
34:03 thanks to my time-traveling crew.
34:06 - But you have to sell Planet Express to me.
34:09 Your crew said it happened,
34:11 and no one can alter the continuum of time.
34:16 - Oh, yeah?
34:18 Watch me.
34:20 - The deal is off.
34:22 - Oh.
34:23 Well, how about if I throw in this hat?
34:27 - Hmm.
34:29 - Good news, everyone!
34:36 I've sold Planet Express to Mom!
34:39 - Get your bum out there!
34:42 - One, two, one, two, three!
34:45 - Oh, I think I know the name!
35:01 Yeah, it's a lot of names,
35:09 but wouldn't you want credit for something you did?
35:12 - One, two, three, blast off!
35:15 - Welcome, welcome, welcome!
35:23 - Welcome, welcome, welcome!
35:26 (upbeat music)