Johnny Bravo Season Two Full Ep 2

Les coulisses

Regardez Johnny Bravo Season Two Full Ep 2 - Les coulisses sur Dailymotion

Transcript

00:00:00 We're almost free!

00:00:01 [screaming]

00:00:03 Uh-oh.

00:00:05 Relay.

00:00:11 [screaming]

00:00:14 [screaming]

00:00:17 Quick, use your magic powers to lift us.

00:00:20 I don't have any magic power.

00:00:22 Bonner.

00:00:24 [screaming]

00:00:28 [grunting]

00:00:29 Contusion-y.

00:00:35 Oh, that's it, I've had it.

00:00:37 This planet stinks.

00:00:39 Hold on, what about your plan to give us space candy and money?

00:00:42 It was universal peace and you can't have any.

00:00:46 I'm going back to my planet and telling everyone that your planet is stupid.

00:00:50 And they'll probably blow you up and I'll just laugh and laugh and laugh.

00:00:54 Oh, yeah? Well, your brain's outside your head.

00:00:58 [gasping]

00:00:59 Hey, where's he going?

00:01:10 He's going back to his planet. He said he hates you.

00:01:12 But he forgot his gyroscopic stabilizer.

00:01:15 Ah!

00:01:19 Oh, I hate it here.

00:01:24 I wonder what ever happened to that alien dude.

00:01:26 Good night, folks.

00:01:33 It's Winterloaf Night.

00:01:51 Hello, mailbox, it's Winterloaf Night.

00:01:54 Hello, adorable puppy, it's Winterloaf Night.

00:01:58 [hissing]

00:02:00 Hello, toothless carny workers.

00:02:02 Why so happy, kid?

00:02:04 It's Winterloaf Night.

00:02:05 I'm home, mama.

00:02:15 Winterloaf Night!

00:02:18 So elegant, so graceful, like a sleek jungle cat, Elrow.

00:02:23 [laughing]

00:02:25 Elrow, please, you're embarrassing me.

00:02:29 [laughing]

00:02:30 Oh, hello, Johnny.

00:02:32 Where's my Winterloaf?

00:02:34 Oh, I completely forgot.

00:02:37 I was having such a marvelous time.

00:02:40 Oh, you must be Johnny.

00:02:42 I've heard so much about you.

00:02:44 Such a good looking young man.

00:02:46 But how could you not be with such a beautiful mother?

00:02:49 [laughing]

00:02:51 Johnny, this is Raul Montoya, a wealthy South American tire magnet.

00:02:58 He's my new...

00:02:59 Say it, Bonnie, say it.

00:03:03 Boyfriend.

00:03:04 [laughing]

00:03:06 No!

00:03:12 When I first met your mother at the nicotine patch counter at the Peking Bay,

00:03:16 I knew this was a woman.

00:03:18 I'm hungry.

00:03:21 The face of an angel.

00:03:23 The body of a '57 Dodge Dart.

00:03:27 Where's my money?

00:03:29 Legs so strong they could kill a zebra with a single kick.

00:03:33 You're not my daddy.

00:03:35 Raul, darling, shouldn't we be heading out?

00:03:37 Yes, Bonnie.

00:03:39 Uh... um...

00:03:41 I'm a little short of cash.

00:03:43 Might I borrow some money to take you on a romantic android dinner?

00:03:46 Of course. I will pay you back with generous interest.

00:03:50 Certainly, Raul, my continental hunk of man pie.

00:03:55 Mama, no!

00:03:58 That's the money you were saving to buy us that inflatable Native American sweat lodge.

00:04:02 Don't be silly, dear.

00:04:04 Now I've left some powdered soup and stale crackers on top of the microwave.

00:04:07 Good night, um...

00:04:09 Johnny!

00:04:11 Johnny! Right!

00:04:13 Come, Raul.

00:04:15 [laughing]

00:04:16 That low-rent gigolo is romancing my mama to get at her savings.

00:04:23 Tell her how low he'll sink.

00:04:25 Or what he might do to her.

00:04:28 Don't worry, Mama. I'll save you.

00:04:30 Mmm, soup.

00:04:33 [slurping]

00:04:34 [chewing]

00:04:36 [sizzling]

00:04:42 [squeaking]

00:04:43 [squeaking]

00:04:46 Mmm, ay, mi amor.

00:04:48 [speaking in Italian]

00:04:51 What can I get you?

00:04:53 No order for us, Raul.

00:04:55 You're such a gourmand.

00:04:57 I am thinking of a thin, flaky crust.

00:04:59 Lightly garnished with oregano and just a suggestion of anchovy.

00:05:05 Get me a number seven, easy on the chum!

00:05:07 Bonnie, my darling.

00:05:09 You've hardly touched your diet orange soda.

00:05:11 Oh, you naughty boy.

00:05:14 You know the bubbles make me giddy?

00:05:16 As your love makes me giddy, my Venus in spandex.

00:05:21 [laughing]

00:05:22 Venus.

00:05:24 [laughing]

00:05:25 [screaming]

00:05:32 There they are now.

00:05:34 That dime store Casanova has Mama eaten out of his hand.

00:05:38 [slurping]

00:05:39 I'd better stay close so he doesn't try anything funny.

00:05:42 Whoa!

00:05:46 Here's your pile, weasel!

00:05:48 Oh, is there any shredded pimento on the table?

00:05:51 Allow me, my little butter sprite.

00:05:54 I always carry my own private stock.

00:06:02 Ah-ha!

00:06:03 - Johnny! - You fiend!

00:06:06 You know Mama's allergic to pimento!

00:06:08 That's pine nuts, dear.

00:06:10 Lies! All lies!

00:06:12 Allow me to explain, Johnny.

00:06:14 Eat marinara, dirtball!

00:06:17 Sancho panza!

00:06:20 Johnny, what are you doing?

00:06:23 Open your eyes, Mama.

00:06:25 Raul is just after you for your cookie jar money!

00:06:28 Johnny, if you keep this up, I'm going to have to punish you!

00:06:31 Now, now, Bonnie.

00:06:34 The boy is simply filled with the rambunctiousness of youth.

00:06:38 He'll come to respect me in time.

00:06:40 Eh, Johnny?

00:06:41 Come, my little wood nymph.

00:06:44 The night awaits.

00:06:46 [groaning]

00:06:47 Here's a check, bud.

00:06:50 Oh, he's good.

00:06:52 He's very good.

00:06:53 Bonnie, tonight has been magical and exciting

00:06:58 in a very tingly kind of way.

00:07:00 [gasping]

00:07:01 I'm falling for you like a bad souffle.

00:07:05 Bonnie.

00:07:07 Besame mucho.

00:07:08 Besame mucho.

00:07:10 Oh, no! Frenchie's trying to strangle her!

00:07:14 [moaning]

00:07:16 [screaming]

00:07:20 [screaming]

00:07:22 - I'm OK. - Whoops.

00:07:25 The important thing is I saved you from that lying scoundrel.

00:07:29 For your information, Johnny,

00:07:31 Raul stopped at the ATM machine and paid me the money he owed me

00:07:35 plus enough extra to buy our sweat lodge.

00:07:38 You mean, Raul was on the level?

00:07:40 Ah, Mama.

00:07:42 I'm sorry I tried to come between you and your happiness.

00:07:45 Why, you lousy little donkey-headed estupido.

00:07:48 I put up with you for long enough.

00:07:51 Ow.

00:07:52 Unhand him, you nasty finger-pointing beast!

00:07:56 But, Bonnie, I hardly touch him.

00:07:58 Eat sky, caballero!

00:08:02 [screaming]

00:08:03 [screaming]

00:08:04 I call you sometime, OK?

00:08:08 Here's your wiener loaf, baby.

00:08:11 Oh, thanks, Mama.

00:08:13 Promise me you'll never let anyone come between us again.

00:08:17 I promise, dear.

00:08:18 I promise.

00:08:20 Look out.

00:08:25 [grunting]

00:08:32 [grunting]

00:08:33 [grunting]

00:08:39 A babe!

00:08:43 Mostly.

00:08:45 Whatever.

00:08:52 One, two, three, go!

00:08:54 Where they at?

00:08:58 [music playing]

00:08:59 Sassy.

00:09:07 A man, I'm pretty.

00:09:09 Do the monkey with me.

00:09:15 Hey there, baby.

00:09:19 Yeah, whatever.

00:09:22 [music playing]

00:09:25 [music playing]

00:09:26 And so we see that we're alone in the universe.

00:09:38 A superior species at the peak of its powers.

00:09:42 [screaming]

00:09:44 I'm stirring in the sea monkey's food, Mrs. Bravo.

00:09:50 Oh, the little dears.

00:09:52 There's so much we can learn from them.

00:09:55 Like what?

00:09:56 Have a cookie, darling.

00:09:59 Hey, look everyone, I got a mango.

00:10:01 That's a telegram, sweetie.

00:10:02 Right, what did I say?

00:10:04 Just read it, dear.

00:10:05 To unseal envelope, peel back flap and--

00:10:09 Gimme that, Johnny.

00:10:10 You're not getting any younger, you know.

00:10:12 It's from the state.

00:10:13 They say that due to a record keeping error,

00:10:15 you never successfully completed the fourth grade.

00:10:18 Ah, this is the worst water I ever tasted.

00:10:22 My sea monkeys!

00:10:23 They say that to get your diploma, you have to report back to school

00:10:27 to pass social skills.

00:10:30 Social skills? What are they?

00:10:32 Social skills are interpersonal techniques such as active listening.

00:10:35 And respectful interacting with others.

00:10:39 Quit blabbing and make me a sandwich.

00:10:41 Just think, Johnny.

00:10:44 If you go back to the fourth grade, we'll be in the same class.

00:10:47 No way, I'm out of here.

00:10:49 If you want me, I'll be in Bolivia.

00:10:51 Now you see here, young man.

00:10:52 No, son of mine, there's going to be a fourth grade dropout.

00:10:56 You're going back to school.

00:10:58 Aw, Mama, I don't wanna go back to school

00:11:00 with a bunch of immature little brats.

00:11:02 I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna!

00:11:05 Here's your lunchbox, dear.

00:11:07 I put in some extra prune loaf to snack on.

00:11:10 And don't forget to give the nurse this note about your adenoids.

00:11:13 Be a good boy, don't talk to strangers.

00:11:16 Oh, they grow up so fast.

00:11:19 [music playing]

00:11:20 You'll see, Johnny, we're gonna be best friends.

00:11:24 How about we stay acquaintances and you leave me alone?

00:11:27 Good morning, class.

00:11:29 Whoa, learning is its own reward.

00:11:32 You'll be happy to know I'm familiar with the three R's.

00:11:35 Reading, writing and...

00:11:36 Check out this student body.

00:11:39 You must be Johnny, the new boy in class.

00:11:42 So, you wanna go out with me?

00:11:44 I'm sorry, I don't date my students.

00:11:47 Oh, I get it.

00:11:48 Hot me in front of the eds, kay.

00:11:51 Gotcha.

00:11:52 Suzie, since your grade point average in social skills

00:11:56 is the highest in recorded time,

00:11:58 you'll be in charge of monitoring Johnny's progress.

00:12:02 - I object! - Withdrawn.

00:12:04 [bell ringing]

00:12:05 - Can I have cussies? - No.

00:12:10 - Whees? - No!

00:12:11 What kind of friend are you?

00:12:13 Don't think of me as a friend, Johnny.

00:12:15 Think of me as someone who's going to judge your every move

00:12:17 for the next three weeks.

00:12:18 Look, Leonardo DiCaprio.

00:12:20 [meowing]

00:12:22 Show over, kid.

00:12:23 Hey, hairnet, give me one of them head cheese quesadillas,

00:12:25 some ham tots, a bowl of lips and gravy.

00:12:27 Aw, give me that, you're too slow!

00:12:31 And now for the most important food group of all.

00:12:35 Ice cream.

00:12:37 Come on, sweet pack!

00:12:40 Hey, wide load, give someone else a chance.

00:12:43 Ah, you want some?

00:12:44 Yeah, yeah, sometime today, jumbo.

00:12:46 Allow me.

00:12:48 [gagging]

00:12:49 You'll pay for that.

00:12:52 Forfeit!

00:12:54 [screaming]

00:12:55 Cafeteria conduct, act.

00:13:02 [bell ringing]

00:13:03 Mugsy, why don't you be our first for show and tell?

00:13:07 Certainly, this is my diorama of the St. Valentine's Day mesa crete.

00:13:12 Boring, you had me and you lost me.

00:13:14 And now, through the magic of sock puppets, I give you...

00:13:18 Johnny Bubbles Puppet Time Theater!

00:13:21 Hi, I'm Johnny, I'm the coolest guy ever by far.

00:13:26 Let's meet some of my doofy friends.

00:13:28 Hi, I'm Susie, I think I'm so great because I'm all smart.

00:13:34 And I don't want anyone to know that I'm in love with Smelly Raymond

00:13:37 in the third row!

00:13:39 [kissing]

00:13:40 Johnny!

00:13:42 Hi, I'm Mugsy, I pretend I'm so tough,

00:13:47 but secretly, I like show tunes!

00:13:49 Oh, look at me.

00:13:50 And we're all the other kids in Johnny's class!

00:13:53 We're all short and doofusy!

00:13:55 We're all gonna get beat up in high school and live boring, unrewarding lives!

00:13:59 [laughing]

00:14:01 Ah, Miss Winkleman, I think Johnny's so cool,

00:14:08 I wanna marry him and make him my buff little cabana boy!

00:14:11 Thank you, that'll do!

00:14:13 Sit down, Johnny.

00:14:14 Respect for others.

00:14:17 Ow!

00:14:18 This field trip is your last chance, Johnny.

00:14:23 If you don't score an A+++ in team supportiveness,

00:14:26 you'll have to start the fourth grade all over again!

00:14:29 Team supportiveness?

00:14:31 What's the team ever done for me?

00:14:33 When does Johnny get his turn?

00:14:35 Class, welcome to the Museum of Extremely Dangerous Things.

00:14:39 Feel free to touch and explore.

00:14:40 Let me feed the cobra, let me feed the cobra!

00:14:43 Don't shout, children, the cobra's not going anywhere.

00:14:47 [gasping]

00:14:49 These mannequins show what happens to children

00:14:54 who sit too close to widescreen TV.

00:14:56 Now, follow me to the Hall of Nasty Papercuts.

00:14:58 Stay with your buddy!

00:15:00 Look, Johnny, an old 1944 little stinker harbor mine!

00:15:04 I wonder if it still works!

00:15:05 Ha, who are you kidding?

00:15:07 This stuff's all fake!

00:15:08 Look, I'll show ya!

00:15:11 Firing mechanism activated.

00:15:13 Detonation in 20 seconds.

00:15:15 Nineteen, eighteen...

00:15:18 Johnny, what do we do?

00:15:19 The only thing there is to do!

00:15:21 Get out of my way! Johnny first, then I'll eliminate children!

00:15:24 Not my love of show tunes, huh?

00:15:27 - Sick of spice! - No!

00:15:29 Maybe it's a duck.

00:15:31 Look, everyone!

00:15:35 Johnny smothered the bot with his tremendous bulk!

00:15:38 The big joik's a hero.

00:15:40 [screaming]

00:15:41 And so, for saving your fellow classmates, sort of,

00:15:47 I award you, Johnny Bravo, with your fourth grade diploma.

00:15:51 Thank you very much, thank you, thank you.

00:15:55 So, I'm not a student anymore.

00:15:58 How'd you like to get hooked on Johnny?

00:16:00 I also don't date brainless, muscle-bound--

00:16:03 Ow!

00:16:04 My son, the graduate!

00:16:07 [groaning]

00:16:09 [music playing]

00:16:10 Hey, Count Flabula!

00:16:24 Do you wanna work your way to total body fitness?

00:16:27 Do you want abs so awesome they'll frighten small children?

00:16:32 Uh-huh.

00:16:33 If you are like me, you've tried every exercise product on the market

00:16:37 and you are still not satisfied.

00:16:39 It's like he really knows me!

00:16:42 Until now!

00:16:43 Introducing the Abdominizer 9000!

00:16:47 It'll give you abs harder than the densest neutron star!

00:16:50 More powerful than cannon fire!

00:16:54 So sharp, they can cut diamonds!

00:16:57 You can even fry an egg!

00:17:01 Don't be a smelly, pathetic loser!

00:17:04 Call now so you can have plutonium abs!

00:17:08 Abs not really made of plutonium, abs will refer to fat later in life.

00:17:11 Must have abdominizer.

00:17:14 Step one, dump parts on floor.

00:17:20 Step 613.

00:17:29 Insert treadle sprocket into ratchet face Z.

00:17:34 Finished!

00:17:35 Guess these are extras.

00:17:39 Let the pumping begin!

00:17:41 Getting huge!

00:17:54 Oh, I'm feeling the burn!

00:17:56 Now to show off my new physique to the conchitas!

00:18:00 Off with the wrapper, here's the candy!

00:18:05 [crowd laughing]

00:18:06 No way!

00:18:08 - That's totally bizarre! - What?

00:18:10 Am I that good?

00:18:11 Clam on a stick!

00:18:13 Get your clam on a stick!

00:18:15 Great leaping nanny goose!

00:18:17 Nothing to see here!

00:18:19 Come on, show's over!

00:18:20 - Pops, what's the big idea? - Johnny!

00:18:22 Don't you know what you got on your belly?

00:18:24 Is there still some eggs from this morning?

00:18:26 No, son!

00:18:27 Look, there's an exact replica of Mount Rushmore

00:18:30 embossed on your stomach muscle!

00:18:32 Ah! Get him off me!

00:18:33 Make it stop, Pops!

00:18:35 Don't be a fool, boy!

00:18:36 I could make a fortune off this!

00:18:38 A fortune, huh?

00:18:39 What's in it for me?

00:18:40 You can watch me make a fortune off this!

00:18:44 I'm in!

00:18:45 Step right up!

00:18:49 See the boy with the prevalence on his belly!

00:18:52 Gaze upon the magnificent freak of nature!

00:18:55 I cannot tell a lie, this gut is cut!

00:19:00 Bully! I mean, bully!

00:19:02 [laughing]

00:19:04 Lock of hair, $5!

00:19:07 Johnny's baby blankets, $25!

00:19:10 Treasure the memory of my freakish son forever!

00:19:14 [cheering]

00:19:15 I hold these labs to be self-evident!

00:19:18 In just under a week, we've made 170 pounds of money!

00:19:24 Oh, Pops, I can't thank you enough!

00:19:27 Because of you, Johnny finally has focus in his life!

00:19:30 Make way for the Emperor of Labs!

00:19:33 Hey, here's our star now!

00:19:36 Rico, Sonny, make me a peanut butter sandwich!

00:19:39 No crust.

00:19:41 Oh, go easy on the snacks there, Johnny!

00:19:44 Hey, lay off, Pops! I'm eating for five now!

00:19:47 Well, OK, we'll just have to train that much harder tomorrow!

00:19:51 That's another thing, Pops, I'm done training!

00:19:53 It makes me all sweaty like!

00:19:55 That's crazy talk, son!

00:19:57 You didn't get to be top freak by sitting on your rump!

00:20:00 Pops, let me tell you a little story.

00:20:02 It's about a shy young lad who came to the big city

00:20:05 with a handful of acorns and a crazy dream.

00:20:08 And that boy's name was Abe Lincoln.

00:20:11 What's your point, Johnny?

00:20:13 I know, what's on TV tonight?

00:20:14 And where's my potato chip ice cream?

00:20:16 [cheering]

00:20:17 And now, the moment you've been waiting for!

00:20:20 Ladies and gentlemen!

00:20:22 Russmo the Magnificent!

00:20:25 Hot!

00:20:27 [cheering]

00:20:29 Good gravy!

00:20:32 Hey, where's everybody gone?

00:20:35 I haven't even done my Bill of Rights dance!

00:20:37 ♪ Signing, signing, you know you want it, signing ya ♪

00:20:40 Forget it, Johnny, they're not coming back!

00:20:43 No presidents, no crowds.

00:20:45 What?

00:20:46 You mean, no more fake friends?

00:20:48 No more screaming girls?

00:20:50 Not unless you get back into shape!

00:20:52 Now do it, Pops!

00:20:53 I'm gonna make a comeback!

00:20:55 First, let's get some lunch.

00:20:57 Ow!

00:20:59 [music playing]

00:21:00 [panting]

00:21:05 [screaming]

00:21:09 [screaming]

00:21:11 [screaming]

00:21:16 [screaming]

00:21:17 [mumbling]

00:21:25 Congratulations, Johnny, you're back to your original weight!

00:21:34 Great, let's eat!

00:21:35 No, we gotta get you back on stage!

00:21:38 You're right, Pops.

00:21:39 People were paying good money to stare at my deformed bulk

00:21:42 and I threw it all away.

00:21:43 I'm not gonna make that mistake again!

00:21:46 Good lad!

00:21:47 The tension is thick here on the lawn of the Bravo House,

00:21:52 where we are awaiting the return of Rushmo the Magnificent

00:21:55 and his eerily exaggerated abdominal muscles.

00:21:58 There's his manager now, let's listen in.

00:22:00 Do you love America?

00:22:02 [cheering]

00:22:03 Do you love those wacky presidents?

00:22:07 [cheering]

00:22:08 Then join me in welcoming back Rushmo the Magnificent!

00:22:16 [cheering]

00:22:17 That's not Mount Rushmore.

00:22:24 No, it's better, it's Melvin Dimitri!

00:22:29 The 16th man to swim the English Channel,

00:22:31 dressed entirely in chiffon!

00:22:33 [laughing]

00:22:34 No!

00:22:43 No!

00:22:44 [crying]

00:22:45 Hey, look, he's dancing!

00:22:50 [dancing]

00:22:51 And these are the prehistoric tar pits

00:23:00 where dinosaurs became trapped while looking for food

00:23:03 and slain Kunuzi down.

00:23:04 I suppose when your brain's the size of a cashew,

00:23:07 you're too stupid to avoid walking into a lake of sticky, disgusting tar.

00:23:11 This way, please!

00:23:12 [music playing]

00:23:13 [screaming]

00:23:16 [music playing]

00:23:20 Here I am, Cliff Rogers, the world's famous lifeguard in the world.

00:23:34 All the chicks love me.

00:23:36 Hi, I'm a new lifeguard!

00:23:38 You can't be a lifeguard, you're just a chick.

00:23:40 Oh, yeah? Wait 'til you see my moves!

00:23:43 Look out, you fools, it's the deadly Loch Ness Ducky!

00:23:47 [screaming]

00:23:48 I knew she'd fail.

00:23:51 Eat chlorine, you hideous pool beast!

00:23:54 [screaming]

00:23:55 Hi, Johnny!

00:23:57 I didn't know you liked to play with dollies, too!

00:23:59 These aren't dollies, they're action figures.

00:24:01 - Now go away! - But Johnny!

00:24:03 Today's the day you promised to take me to a taping

00:24:05 of my favorite TV show, Aunt Katie's Farm!

00:24:09 I never promised that.

00:24:10 Yes, you did!

00:24:12 I have a signed letter of intent notarized by three witnesses

00:24:15 and a tape cassette of you promising to take me.

00:24:17 Promise me, Johnny!

00:24:19 Alright, alright, just give me that pizza!

00:24:21 Even so, I'm not gonna take you, no how, no way!

00:24:26 Johnny's playing with dollies!

00:24:28 Well, let's get going, don't wanna be late for the taping.

00:24:32 [music playing]

00:24:34 [music playing]

00:24:35 Johnny, take that stupid thing off your head!

00:24:41 I don't want anyone to recognize me!

00:24:44 Hi, Johnny, you here for the taping, too?

00:24:46 I camped overnight, I love Aunt Katie!

00:24:48 She's my favorite agricultural children's host!

00:24:50 Wanna know how much I love her on a scale of one to gazillion?

00:24:52 [groaning]

00:24:53 I wish there were a little seed so she could plant me in the ground

00:24:56 and nurture me!

00:24:57 The doors are opening, the doors are opening!

00:25:02 Hey, wait for me, guys!

00:25:04 Where am I gonna sit?

00:25:11 Hey, down in front!

00:25:13 Ranch Hand Jim and Piggy Pig are warming up the audience!

00:25:15 [music playing]

00:25:17 You using this?

00:25:23 [screaming]

00:25:25 Alright, let's get this stinkfest over with!

00:25:28 Ranch Hand Jim and Piggy Pig look seriously injured!

00:25:31 Ladies and gentlemen, due to circumstances beyond our control,

00:25:35 this episode of Aunt Katie's Farm has been canceled!

00:25:38 [crowd booing]

00:25:39 Unless someone out there can fit into the Ranch Hand Jim

00:25:44 and Piggy Pig costumes!

00:25:45 Oh, Johnny, we can fit in the costumes!

00:25:48 I can be Ranch Hand Jim and you can be Piggy Pig!

00:25:51 How about if I be Mr. Slap You Silly and you be Mr. Shut Up for a Change?

00:25:55 Oh, please, sir!

00:25:57 I'd be forever indebted to you!

00:26:00 [music playing]

00:26:01 [gasping]

00:26:03 It's Aunt Katie herself?

00:26:05 [horn blowing]

00:26:06 It's time to lose some weight!

00:26:14 We're going to Aunt Katie's Farm today!

00:26:16 So, good day, Mr. Blanky Frank!

00:26:20 Please, won't you watch our rainy day stick?

00:26:22 There's Ranch Hand Jim, he's not all there,

00:26:26 and Piggy Pig, oh, you don't care?

00:26:28 [music playing]

00:26:29 So, gather round, we'll all make nice and then you'll buy our merchandise!

00:26:34 Hey, Polaroids!

00:26:36 Hi, Aunt Katie!

00:26:39 [laughing]

00:26:40 Today's episode is brought to you by the great taste of fat!

00:26:44 Fat, the other other white meat!

00:26:46 [horn blowing]

00:26:48 Oh!

00:26:49 I hear golly trolley!

00:26:51 Wonder who it could be?

00:26:53 I can't--

00:26:55 [screaming]

00:26:56 Hey!

00:26:58 It's Ranch Hand Jim and Piggy Pig!

00:27:00 How are you today, Ranch Hand Jim?

00:27:02 I am plump fine, I reckon, Aunt Katie!

00:27:05 And how are you today, Mr. Piggy Pig?

00:27:07 Farmalicious, Aunt Katie!

00:27:09 Check out this bacon!

00:27:10 [laughing]

00:27:12 Maybe Piggy Pig ought to stick to the cue cards!

00:27:16 How about we go back to the smokehouse and you cure what ails me?

00:27:20 Someone's being a naughty piggy pig!

00:27:23 You know what we do with naughty piggies, don't you, children?

00:27:26 Pecking party!

00:27:28 The heck's a pecking party?

00:27:32 [grunting]

00:27:34 Well, farmaroos, here we are at the learning corral!

00:27:40 Today's lesson is all about sharing!

00:27:43 Let's see, who can help us learn about sharing?

00:27:46 I expect I can, Aunt Katie!

00:27:48 With a little help from Piggy Pig and uselessly angry Donkey!

00:27:51 Come on, Donkey!

00:27:52 Good Donkey, Johnny's got a nice piece of fish for you!

00:27:56 [squawking]

00:27:57 Just what is sharing anyway, Ranch Hand Jim?

00:28:02 Sharing is when you let someone else have some of your stuff

00:28:04 just because it's nice!

00:28:06 Piggy Pig's going to show us how he shares these yummy corn husks

00:28:09 with uselessly angry Donkey!

00:28:11 Corn husks, sweet!

00:28:13 Piggy Pig, aren't you gonna give some to useless?

00:28:17 No way!

00:28:18 [squawking]

00:28:19 Johnny, I really think you better give him some!

00:28:22 Hey, you, is this what you want?

00:28:24 Peanut!

00:28:25 No, seriously, you want some?

00:28:26 Peanut!

00:28:27 Oh, really? This won't end well.

00:28:29 [screaming]

00:28:30 And, uh, that's what happens when you don't share!

00:28:39 Are you alright, Mr. Piggy Pig?

00:28:43 [mumbling]

00:28:45 The best way to cheer up a piggy pig is to give him a big old mud bath!

00:28:52 Yay!

00:28:55 No, please, don't!

00:28:57 [laughing]

00:29:00 That does it!

00:29:04 Piggy Pig's mad as heck and he's not gonna take it anymore!

00:29:07 Say goodnight, John Boy!

00:29:12 [screaming]

00:29:15 [laughing]

00:29:23 [laughing]

00:29:24 Get off this set before I call security!

00:29:27 You shall be my wife!

00:29:28 Wait for me by my secret grain silo!

00:29:31 I will join you in arm!

00:29:32 [screaming]

00:29:34 [laughing]

00:29:36 [screaming]

00:29:39 That'll teach him to mess with Piggy Pig, won't it, kids?

00:29:44 [screaming]

00:29:45 Four feet good, two feet bad!

00:29:49 Four feet good, two feet bad!

00:29:51 Four feet good, two feet bad!

00:29:53 [laughing]

00:29:54 That'll do, Pig, that'll do.

00:30:02 Sorry.

00:30:03 Look out!

00:30:09 [music playing]

00:30:10 [grunting]

00:30:12 [grunting]

00:30:16 [grunting]

00:30:22 Mama!

00:30:23 A bed!

00:30:26 Mercy!

00:30:28 Whatever.

00:30:35 Whoa!

00:30:40 Two, three, go!

00:30:44 Wait there!

00:30:48 [music playing]

00:30:49 That's it!

00:30:56 Man, I'm pretty!

00:30:58 Do the monkey with me!

00:31:05 Hey there, buddy!

00:31:09 Yeah, whatever.

00:31:11 [music playing]

00:31:14 [music playing]

00:31:15 Sun, surf and Johnny.

00:31:29 I am one with the ancient primeval rhythm.

00:31:32 [screaming]

00:31:33 [laughing]

00:31:36 The mighty ocean, cosmic broth from which we all emerge.

00:31:41 [screaming]

00:31:44 Antibiotic of all day.

00:31:46 Wait a minute, my highly developed tick sensors are tingling.

00:31:49 Readings indicate the presence of a sea-going mama cedar at 11 o'clock.

00:31:53 [alarm sounding]

00:31:56 Initiate rendezvous procedures.

00:32:03 Excuse me, can I borrow this?

00:32:06 This indignity will be avenged, my perfidious friend.

00:32:10 [laughing]

00:32:12 [music playing]

00:32:13 Paddling.

00:32:21 Oh, I'll put him on a--

00:32:23 [screaming]

00:32:24 [screaming]

00:32:27 [screaming]

00:32:29 Look out!

00:32:40 OK, this won't end well.

00:32:42 [screaming]

00:32:44 [screaming]

00:32:53 That's normal, good boy.

00:32:57 [screaming]

00:33:01 [screaming]

00:33:10 [sneezing]

00:33:11 So, come here often?

00:33:12 [screaming]

00:33:14 What kind of idiot are you?

00:33:15 I don't know, what kinds are there?

00:33:17 Don't you realize you've stranded us in the middle of nowhere, alone?

00:33:21 Just the two of us for who knows how long!

00:33:24 Hmm.

00:33:26 [laughing]

00:33:27 [music playing]

00:33:30 [music playing]

00:33:31 Stop daydreaming about me!

00:33:45 You know, when you scream like that,

00:33:47 you get a cute little vein in your forehead.

00:33:49 Look, if we're going to survive,

00:33:51 the first thing we have to do is secure food, shelter and fresh water.

00:33:55 Wanna see me do this?

00:33:56 [grunting]

00:33:58 [grunting]

00:33:59 Right, food, I'm all over it.

00:34:04 Man, there's gotta be a strip mall around here someplace.

00:34:08 Let's see, what do chicks like to eat?

00:34:13 Crackers, gumballs, tiny rabbits?

00:34:16 Hmm? Hey, Puddin'.

00:34:18 Uh-oh.

00:34:21 There, now to access the Coast Guard frequency.

00:34:25 Help, Puddin', help me!

00:34:28 Puddin' emergency!

00:34:29 [screaming]

00:34:30 Needs more butterscotch.

00:34:40 You saved my life, that means you dig me.

00:34:45 [screaming]

00:34:47 Hey, look at what I found.

00:34:53 Three of the juiciest, most delicious looking rocks

00:34:56 you ever laid eyes on.

00:34:57 Uh, thanks, I'll pass.

00:34:59 Great, I'll build a fire.

00:35:00 My radar dish!

00:35:04 Oh, are you using that?

00:35:07 [screaming]

00:35:10 Where's a 15 foot tiger shark when you need one?

00:35:23 A plane, a plane!

00:35:24 I'm saved!

00:35:26 Come on!

00:35:27 Hey, down here!

00:35:40 Please, I can't stand it anymore!

00:35:44 I can't survive without you!

00:35:47 I knew she'd come around.

00:35:50 Please, please!

00:35:52 I need you!

00:35:54 Alright, alright, just let me dry off first.

00:35:57 [mumbling]

00:35:58 So, how's dinner coming?

00:36:05 You're a menace!

00:36:07 I don't ever want to see your face again!

00:36:11 I'm going to the other side of the island

00:36:14 to get as far from you as possible!

00:36:16 Can I come?

00:36:19 No!

00:36:20 I'm going over there!

00:36:22 You are staying here!

00:36:24 And then I follow you?

00:36:28 [screaming]

00:36:30 Hey, wait for me!

00:36:34 Don't find me, don't find me, don't find me!

00:36:42 Hey, you stink pretty.

00:36:44 [screaming]

00:36:45 [screaming]

00:36:46 Umbrella drink?

00:36:53 These noxious fumes should keep him away.

00:37:02 Noxious fumes?

00:37:05 [screaming]

00:37:07 Come back, my little love muffin!

00:37:13 Forget it!

00:37:14 I'd rather swim for it than spend another second with you!

00:37:17 So, you want me to follow you?

00:37:23 I'll just follow you then!

00:37:25 Huh?

00:37:26 Mama!

00:37:31 There you are, Johnny!

00:37:33 I've been looking all over for you!

00:37:35 How many times have I told you to leave a note

00:37:37 when you get washed out to sea?

00:37:39 I'm sorry, Mama.

00:37:40 Say, can I borrow the sub?

00:37:42 I'm in the middle of a date.

00:37:43 And you didn't introduce me!

00:37:45 Why, I gotta catch her first!

00:37:47 Look, that's her on the scoat now!

00:37:50 Oh, she's darling!

00:37:54 Increase speed to 15 knots!

00:37:57 Aye, aye, Mama!

00:37:58 [music playing]

00:37:59 Here we go, Johnny.

00:38:13 Remember, one with the universe, one with the--

00:38:17 Whoa!

00:38:18 I like it!

00:38:19 Hey, baby, I'm going to karate catch.

00:38:23 Wanna see the moves of a master?

00:38:25 [moaning]

00:38:27 [music playing]

00:38:28 Yep, that's horrible.

00:38:30 [moaning]

00:38:34 Hey, wait for me!

00:38:39 Hey, fellow martial artists.

00:38:45 Ready to worship the gods of karate

00:38:48 and turn your hands into lethal weapons?

00:38:50 [grunting]

00:38:51 Not really, I'm looking forward to learning the basics

00:38:54 of digital LCD design.

00:38:56 Say what?

00:38:57 And I'm looking forward to constructing my own artificial intelligence,

00:38:59 or AI.

00:39:00 What's your specialty, new kid?

00:39:02 Making trouble, raising heck and sticking it to the man.

00:39:05 That's M-T-R-H-A-S-I-T-T-L.

00:39:07 [laughing]

00:39:10 You're funny, you're gonna be our new best friend.

00:39:13 Something is very wrong here.

00:39:15 This is the bus to karate camp, isn't it?

00:39:17 Oh, you're suffering under a misapprehension.

00:39:20 We're headed to Camp Gigabyte for two weeks of intensive computer study.

00:39:23 No!

00:39:26 [engine revving]

00:39:27 [honking]

00:39:29 [horn blaring]

00:39:31 [groaning]

00:39:35 14 hours of nerd jabber.

00:39:37 I gotta get out of here.

00:39:39 [crashing]

00:39:41 I've been wrong, terribly wrong!

00:39:45 Hi, campers!

00:39:47 Welcome to Camp Giga--

00:39:48 [gasping]

00:39:50 Johnny?

00:39:51 Huh? Car!

00:39:52 Let me back in the bus! Let me back in the bus!

00:39:54 [engine revving]

00:39:55 Johnny, what a surprise!

00:39:58 I thought you were too stupid to learn computers.

00:40:00 It's a mistake.

00:40:01 I'm supposed to be at Camp Chop Sucker hitting stuff.

00:40:04 It's too late now, Johnny.

00:40:06 That was the last bus for a week.

00:40:08 Then I'm walking home.

00:40:10 You can't!

00:40:11 The woods are full of deadly predators.

00:40:13 Then I'm calling my mom to come get me.

00:40:18 We don't have phones.

00:40:19 We communicate entirely by email.

00:40:22 Looks like you're gonna be with us the whole week!

00:40:25 [laughing]

00:40:26 [screaming]

00:40:30 Here's your cabin, campers!

00:40:32 Time for everyone to choose a bunk!

00:40:35 It's on this one!

00:40:38 Whoopee!

00:40:39 Now listen up!

00:40:45 I'm the king of this cabin, so stay out of my face!

00:40:48 And what's more, I don't want any of you little babies

00:40:51 bothering me tonight.

00:40:52 - Got it? - Yes, Johnny.

00:40:54 Good.

00:40:55 [screaming]

00:40:56 I wanna go home.

00:40:58 I want my mama!

00:41:00 [whimpering]

00:41:02 [laughing]

00:41:03 [whistling]

00:41:07 [horn blowing]

00:41:11 Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!

00:41:15 [laughing]

00:41:16 [horn blowing]

00:41:18 [bell ringing]

00:41:19 Hi, Johnny, you were late signing up for activities,

00:41:26 so I signed you up for graphic algorithmic design.

00:41:28 Hope that's OK.

00:41:29 You know, when you open your mouth,

00:41:30 some kind of loopy moon man language comes out.

00:41:33 I can't believe there's no one swimming!

00:41:35 Little cyber weenies must be scared of short mouth.

00:41:37 [screaming]

00:41:46 This is the spooky, scary tale of Beastie Man!

00:41:50 Half man, half beast!

00:41:53 - That's not scary. - Shut up, I'm not finished.

00:41:55 He also had a hook for a hair.

00:41:59 - How's that possible? - What do you mean?

00:42:04 How would respiration and cerebral functions occur?

00:42:07 There's that moon man talk again.

00:42:08 We find your premise highly improbable.

00:42:10 Fine, you tell a story then.

00:42:15 Oh, oh, oh, I have one!

00:42:17 Little Jimmy Simpkins logged onto his computer one night,

00:42:22 only to encounter a discontinued server icon.

00:42:27 [gasping]

00:42:29 And what he saw when he looked up,

00:42:33 filled him with shock and terror.

00:42:35 For his hard drive had been...

00:42:38 completely erased.

00:42:41 [screaming]

00:42:43 That was scary, Counselor Carl.

00:42:45 What did you think, Johnny? Johnny?

00:42:47 I don't know what he said, but it was the way he told it.

00:42:53 What do we want?

00:42:57 - Software! - Where do we get it?

00:42:59 Trading post!

00:43:00 Found off!

00:43:01 One, two, three, four, one, two.

00:43:04 Miss Bites, when's this gonna be over?

00:43:06 - Hold it! - Look, campers.

00:43:08 It's the symphidious selecti.

00:43:11 Better stay back.

00:43:12 They say its pollen can paralyze a man instantaneously.

00:43:15 What are the odds?

00:43:17 [gasping]

00:43:18 Ha, I guess I'm in charge now.

00:43:22 Fall in, you keypad jockeys, we're heading back to civilization.

00:43:25 It's been hours, Counselor Johnny.

00:43:28 Are you sure you know where you're going?

00:43:30 Of course I do, let's see.

00:43:32 Moss grows on the west side of rocks,

00:43:34 trees bloom only in the moon's seventh house, so...

00:43:39 Um, who am I kidding, we're lost, we're lost!

00:43:42 And it's all your fault!

00:43:44 I believe I have the solution.

00:43:46 Harvey, your laptop, please.

00:43:47 Johnny, I'm going to charge your body with static electricity,

00:43:51 then throw you in the stream.

00:43:52 You should float to magnetic north.

00:43:54 Yeah, but what if--

00:43:55 [screaming]

00:43:56 We're saved!

00:44:07 Oh, it's all for Johnny!

00:44:08 Yeah!

00:44:10 Johnny?

00:44:11 Could someone throw me a--

00:44:12 [screaming]

00:44:14 At least it's over.

00:44:20 In 14 hours, I'll be back in my house

00:44:23 with no annoying little creeps to torment me.

00:44:25 Hey, everyone, let's cheer Johnny up on the long trip home

00:44:29 with a good old-fashioned camp song.

00:44:32 ♪ A thousand silicon chips on the wall A thousand silicon chips ♪

00:44:36 ♪ If one of those chips Should happen to short ♪

00:44:39 ♪ Nine hundred ninety-nine Silicon chips on the wall ♪

00:44:41 ♪ Nine hundred ninety-nine Silicon chips on the wall ♪

00:44:44 ♪ Nine hundred ninety-nine Silicon chips on the wall ♪

00:45:06 It's a wing batter!

00:45:08 Who's bad? Who's bad?

00:45:11 Old word all the time!

00:45:12 Oh, my sciatica!

00:45:15 Good, Suzy!

00:45:20 That's putting the leather to the big skin!

00:45:22 Coach Bravo, the master torches and retro is throwing off my stance!

00:45:27 I need a new bat!

00:45:31 You got it, baby!

00:45:32 Substitute bat boy!

00:45:35 Hey, dear Johnny, Coach wants you.

00:45:38 Don't look at me. I said don't look at me!

00:45:45 Come on, Johnny, let's show a little hustle!

00:45:48 Chop, chop!

00:45:49 Mama, why do I gotta do this? It's humiliating!

00:45:53 I told you!

00:45:54 My regular girl was bit by a deer tick!

00:45:56 Now how about a little support?

00:45:59 If we win today, we qualify for the semi-bi-monthly preliminary match-ups!

00:46:04 Oh, Mama, it's only the first game of the season!

00:46:07 That's why we have to focus!

00:46:09 Focus!

00:46:11 Here's your stupid bat, kid.

00:46:15 This one's too big!

00:46:17 This one's smelly!

00:46:21 How about the pink one?

00:46:25 What do you mean you can't play?

00:46:28 You'll play alright.

00:46:30 But I shattered my tibia!

00:46:32 Rub some dirt in it!

00:46:34 We'll never beat Mama's molluscs with that attitude!

00:46:37 Hey, you rosen-headed lummox!

00:46:42 Pop down, you old...

00:46:43 Well, bang the drum slowly!

00:46:49 Say, baseball buddy, how'd you like to join me for a little seventh-inning stretch?

00:46:54 Don't make me laugh. You're nothing but a lowly bat boy.

00:47:00 Not true! I'm the brains behind the team!

00:47:03 Mama even trusted me with her list of secret baseball signs.

00:47:06 Really? Can I have them?

00:47:08 Uh-uh! They're the key to Mama's game plan.

00:47:10 I would never, ever, ever, ever let you see them!

00:47:14 I'll go out with you.

00:47:15 There you go! Check it out! Show your friends!

00:47:18 ♪ I'm gonna have a girlfriend I'm gonna have a girlfriend ♪

00:47:22 Johnny! Stop fraternizing with the enemy!

00:47:24 She's not the enemy, Mama!

00:47:26 She's my black-clad bass-spiking siren of SWAT!

00:47:29 That spells hussy in my book, mister!

00:47:33 Play ball!

00:47:35 Look out, Susie! Here comes the cheese! I can feel it!

00:47:40 Yay!

00:47:43 I gave her that bat. That's a pretty one.

00:47:45 I-I gave her that.

00:47:46 Now to lay down my secret steel sign.

00:48:01 The steel sign, eh?

00:48:03 Clever, my old enemy, but not clever enough.

00:48:07 [music playing]

00:48:36 You're out!

00:48:37 [sighing]

00:48:38 Well, maybe we'll get 'em this time.

00:48:41 - You're out! - Well, maybe we'll get 'em this time.

00:48:44 You're out!

00:48:45 This won't end well.

00:48:46 Ah! Nineteen-zero!

00:48:52 I don't understand!

00:48:54 It's almost as if someone has stolen my list of secret signs!

00:48:59 What? Don't be silly! I didn't do it!

00:49:01 [laughing]

00:49:02 Ah, I really messed up.

00:49:06 I gotta do something to pull Mama's fat out of the fire.

00:49:08 - Who are you talking to? - Uh, look! Mookie Wilson!

00:49:11 You're out! Fish sticks!

00:49:14 I'd get anything for a first class clean up power hitter

00:49:18 who can swing for the fences!

00:49:20 Perhaps I can be of some help?

00:49:22 Oh, you're a big strapping girl, aren't you?

00:49:26 Well, let's just say I'm big boned!

00:49:30 What have I got to lose?

00:49:31 Grab some pine tar, Missy, you're in!

00:49:35 [whistling]

00:49:36 [cheering]

00:49:38 Oh, yeah!

00:49:42 See ya!

00:49:43 Bouncing!

00:49:44 Don't forget to write!

00:49:46 Good eyes, great extension,

00:49:51 and she runs the bases like a perfect little angel!

00:49:54 Hmm, there's something familiar about that little girl.

00:50:02 Let's go, Maulers! One more run and we win the game!

00:50:05 Oh, look, a shiny nickel!

00:50:09 Come here, you!

00:50:12 Now I gotcha!

00:50:14 Ah-ha!

00:50:16 Oh, please don't snitch me out!

00:50:18 It would destroy Mama!

00:50:19 And then, who'd feed me?

00:50:22 Oh, I'm not gonna snitch you out,

00:50:24 because you're gonna throw the game for me.

00:50:26 Oh, no, I could never, ever, ever, ever do that!

00:50:29 I'll go out with you.

00:50:31 Deal!

00:50:32 Strike one!

00:50:35 Strike two!

00:50:37 Oh, what am I doing?

00:50:39 I can't throw the game!

00:50:41 Just look at Mama's and What's-Her-Name's hopeful smiling faces!

00:50:45 Swing for crying out loud!

00:50:47 You better not whistle!

00:50:49 [cheering]

00:50:51 He's a fake!

00:50:59 This team is disqualified!

00:51:01 Oh, yeah?

00:51:02 Just as I suspected!

00:51:04 Your team is composed of nine burly teamsters!

00:51:07 You're all outta here!

00:51:10 Mama, I'm sorry.

00:51:12 I lost the game, wore your clothes,

00:51:14 and got you drummed out of little girl's baseball.

00:51:16 That's alright, Johnny.

00:51:18 What's important is that you love me enough

00:51:20 to make a mockery of our national pastime.

00:51:23 Now, you're all invited out for Chili Dogs on Me!

00:51:27 [cheering]

00:51:28 Except you, you're a hussy!

00:51:32 Look out!

00:51:38 [music playing]

00:51:39 [grunting]

00:51:42 Oh!

00:51:46 [music playing]

00:51:47 Whoa!

00:51:52 A bear!

00:51:57 Mosey!

00:51:58 [music playing]

00:51:59 Whatever.

00:52:05 Two, three, go!

00:52:07 Beard on!

00:52:11 Sassy!

00:52:19 Man, I'm pretty!

00:52:22 [music playing]

00:52:23 Do the monkey with me!

00:52:28 Stay there, lady.

00:52:31 Yeah, whatever.

00:52:34 [music playing]

00:52:51 And these are the sluicing tubes where gristle and tallow

00:52:54 are rendered down into a gelatinous albumen.

00:52:57 The albumen, which is the basis of Mr. Kevin's triple strength hair gel.

00:53:01 The gristle makes it shiny.

00:53:03 And the tallow keeps hair stiff for days.

00:53:05 Yes, sir, we know.

00:53:09 This is my 397th tour of the factory.

00:53:11 Three more and I get a prize.

00:53:13 How nice for you.

00:53:14 Moving along, we find--

00:53:16 Tell them about the turbo injected bottling process.

00:53:18 Sir, I'm getting to that.

00:53:21 Now, if you'll all follow me,

00:53:22 please watch your step as industrial crud may have accumulated

00:53:25 along the walkway.

00:53:27 She's gonna show us how they stick pretty labels on the bottles

00:53:29 and distribute them to hair salons across--

00:53:31 [screaming]

00:53:32 [gasping]

00:53:35 Too bad, the hair gel will harden around his body,

00:53:38 encasing him in a living prison for eons to come.

00:53:42 And we're walking, we're walking, we're walking.

00:53:45 [music playing]

00:53:48 [scrubbing]

00:53:49 When do we get to Mr. Kevin's gift shop?

00:53:57 I wanna go to the gift shop.

00:53:59 Hi, Johnny!

00:54:00 [gasping]

00:54:03 What are you doing on a hair gel tour?

00:54:05 You're not on a tour!

00:54:06 You've been frozen in hair gel for over 500 years and I revived you.

00:54:09 Aw, quit goofing around, Carl.

00:54:11 Interesting.

00:54:13 You must be talking about my great-great-great-great grandfather,

00:54:16 Carl Kronzisiewicz I.

00:54:17 [laughing]

00:54:19 I'm Carl number 97324.

00:54:23 Welcome to the 25th century!

00:54:26 [laughing]

00:54:27 Let me get this straight, it's 500 years in the future?

00:54:32 - Yep. - And you're here?

00:54:33 Uh-huh.

00:54:34 Let me out of here!

00:54:35 I wanna go home!

00:54:36 Help, help!

00:54:38 I understand, Johnny.

00:54:40 Your primitive brain is confused and rattled.

00:54:42 But with me as your guide, you'll soon grow to love

00:54:45 the glorious world of the future!

00:54:47 Uh, Carl, nothing personal, but this place is a dump.

00:54:53 After six world wars and two global plagues,

00:54:55 I think we've done quite nicely, thank you.

00:54:57 Ew!

00:54:58 Ew, there's roaches all over the place!

00:55:00 Yeah, and I'm late for work.

00:55:02 Move it, lard butt!

00:55:03 [screaming]

00:55:04 [groaning]

00:55:07 Careful, Johnny!

00:55:11 [explosion]

00:55:12 You were almost hit by that fossil fuel powered ground transport!

00:55:15 You mean that car?

00:55:17 This place stinks!

00:55:18 Where's all the talking robots and hovering stuff?

00:55:20 We're working on it, cut us some slack, Mr. Bossy.

00:55:24 Whatever, got any food in this place? I'm hungry.

00:55:26 OK, follow me and I'll treat you to the amazing food of the future!

00:55:30 [screaming]

00:55:32 [groaning]

00:55:41 Hi, welcome to Pops!

00:55:43 Pops, is it really you?

00:55:44 Sure is, Johnny!

00:55:46 Froze my head back in '07 after a little tussle with the meat slicer.

00:55:50 Wiggy, but why doesn't everyone preserve their heads and live forever?

00:55:54 Well, Johnny, it's a sad, freakish existence.

00:55:57 So, what can I get ya?

00:55:59 We're starved, Pops!

00:56:00 Two orders of unflavored soy mulch, please.

00:56:02 Eh, could you get it yourself?

00:56:04 I'm a little short handed at the moment.

00:56:06 [laughing]

00:56:07 It's a little floating head joke!

00:56:09 [laughing]

00:56:10 Eat up, Johnny, while it's still damp!

00:56:14 [laughing]

00:56:17 Stinky food, no rocket cars, give me one reason why I should stick around!

00:56:22 [meowing]

00:56:23 That'll do!

00:56:26 Hey, future babe, glory to the Flectors, I've set my vases on love.

00:56:30 - Very well. - What?

00:56:32 - Really? - Cool!

00:56:33 Luckily, I happen to have brought my hyper-lit mandibulator.

00:56:36 What?

00:56:37 Kissing is forbidden, Johnny, this is how we make out in the future!

00:56:41 [kissing]

00:56:43 That was painful and unsatisfying, can we do it again?

00:56:46 [kissing]

00:56:47 Well, this has been fun.

00:56:48 [kissing]

00:56:50 I gotta go now.

00:56:51 [kissing]

00:56:53 No, really, stop it!

00:56:55 I must go, Big Brother summons us.

00:56:58 [groaning]

00:57:00 Well, I'll call ya, OK?

00:57:04 Hurry, Johnny, it's time for the 25th century's favorite TV show!

00:57:09 I don't get it, I thought you said we were gonna watch TV!

00:57:15 Big Brother, Big Brother, Big Brother, Big Brother, Big Brother!

00:57:18 It's time for the Big Brother Comedy Hour!

00:57:21 [laughing]

00:57:23 With tonight's guests, Raynac of Sirius Four!

00:57:29 And Stupid Android Tricks!

00:57:32 And now, a man who never gets tired of policing your mind!

00:57:37 Big Brother!

00:57:39 [music playing]

00:57:40 - Just quiet, what else is on? - Shh, Johnny, please!

00:57:47 Thank you, thank you, my, what a crowd!

00:57:51 So, a guy walks into a bar and says he hasn't had a bite in three days!

00:57:56 So I had him arrested and sent to a re-education camp!

00:57:59 [laughing]

00:58:00 [cheering]

00:58:01 - No, I can't. - You stink!

00:58:05 Who's got the remote?

00:58:07 You know, buddy, I'll say to you what I say to all my critics.

00:58:13 Seize him!

00:58:14 Quick, Johnny, hold me tight!

00:58:18 Wow, that was a close one!

00:58:25 The future stinks, just send me home already!

00:58:29 Don't be silly, Johnny!

00:58:31 You can hide out here with me for the rest of your life!

00:58:33 I'll just set up a cot over here next to the time machine.

00:58:36 - Time machine? - Mm-hm!

00:58:38 And we can stay up late every night and play Yahtzee

00:58:41 and be best friends forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever!

00:58:45 The albumen, which is the basis of Mr. Kevin's triple strength hair gel!

00:58:55 I made it, I'm back in my own time!

00:58:59 Sir, I've asked you nicely to please stop talking!

00:59:03 Alright, I'll be good, I've learned my lesson.

00:59:06 And watch the ooze on those steps!

00:59:09 Mag nag, mag!

00:59:12 Why don't you just shut your--

00:59:13 [screaming]

00:59:14 Seize them!

00:59:21 [music playing]

00:59:22 Oh, yeah, I'm gonna make a fortune with this thing!

00:59:40 [growling]

00:59:42 Oh, mama!

00:59:47 This car must be made completely out of loose change!

00:59:51 Now to get it into these penny rolls!

00:59:53 Excuse me, that's my car!

00:59:58 Hey, finders keepers!

01:00:00 So, wanna get lunch? I'm rich!

01:00:04 No, but if you take...

01:00:07 that bus all the way to the last stop,

01:00:11 my twin sister will be waiting for you!

01:00:13 Twin sister, huh? What's she look like?

01:00:17 Better hurry!

01:00:20 [music playing]

01:00:21 Hmm, just like home, only more corn.

01:00:37 And the cars are made of horses.

01:00:42 Good morning to you, sir!

01:00:43 You're the sister I'm supposed to meet?

01:00:45 Yes, I am Sister Emma!

01:00:47 You must be Brother John Adiah, come to visit from the East Country!

01:00:50 Yeah, sure, whatever.

01:00:53 Let's ride!

01:00:55 Hello, Sister Emma?

01:01:01 Anyone?

01:01:02 Hey, cool hat! Need a lift?

01:01:08 I one of you, Sister Emma?

01:01:10 Um, no, we're gonna go to Daytona Beach for spring break, wanna come?

01:01:15 [music playing]

01:01:16 Alrighty then!

01:01:18 I still don't know why I gotta wear these stupid clothes!

01:01:27 Your East Country ways are truly strange, John Adiah.

01:01:31 All our men dress thusly.

01:01:32 I think I'm getting a burlap wedgie.

01:01:34 You'll get used to it.

01:01:36 Mama Diah!

01:01:41 Dad Adiah!

01:01:42 I've returned with Johnny Diah!

01:01:44 Come in, I was just planting these farm implements to make the work harder.

01:01:48 Wiggie!

01:01:49 Tell me, John Adiah, what brings you such a great distance?

01:01:53 Some chick told me her sister here could cure what ails me.

01:01:56 A chicken spoke to you and told you that Emma would perform a healing?

01:02:01 - You talk funny. - Yes.

01:02:04 Well, in any event, let me extend the open arms of brotherly--

01:02:10 Blah, blah, blah, I'm starving, when's dinner?

01:02:13 You're in for a treat, John Adiah.

01:02:16 I've worked all day to make the food as tasteless as possible.

01:02:20 Mmm, radish loaf with skunk root sauce!

01:02:24 This stinks!

01:02:31 Got any ketchup?

01:02:32 Ketchup?

01:02:34 You start with the spicy tang of ketchup and before you know it,

01:02:38 you're skipping about the barn wearing brightly colored garments!

01:02:42 You know, that reminds me of a funny story.

01:02:44 I was washing my hair in the toilet the other day when...

01:02:47 So, when the battery ran out,

01:02:49 I realized I had my underwear on my head the whole time!

01:02:53 [laughing]

01:02:54 Hey, wanna see some karate?

01:03:02 [fighting]

01:03:03 Yes.

01:03:11 Well...

01:03:12 Let's get to bed, shall we?

01:03:15 So, how's about tomorrow, you and me?

01:03:18 Oh, yeah, making progress.

01:03:21 [screaming]

01:03:30 No, Mama, I'm too old for my tiny pants!

01:03:32 Oh, it's you.

01:03:36 Ooh, what time is it?

01:03:38 It's 4.30, John Adiah.

01:03:41 Do you plan to lay in bed all day when work's to be done?

01:03:43 Work?

01:03:45 Oh, alright.

01:03:47 If that's what it takes to prove myself to you, I'll do it!

01:03:50 [music playing]

01:03:52 [laughing]

01:04:02 [laughing]

01:04:03 [punching]

01:04:15 [punching]

01:04:18 [whirring]

01:04:23 [crashing]

01:04:29 [crashing]

01:04:30 Bennett!

01:04:57 Ah, by the way, I ran out of nails,

01:04:59 so I pulled some from those other buildings.

01:05:01 John Adiah, you have brought shame upon us!

01:05:07 And for that, you must receive...

01:05:10 The treatment!

01:05:12 The treatment?

01:05:13 What the heck is that?

01:05:14 [imitating a train]

01:05:15 We can't hear you!

01:05:19 We're giving you the treatment!

01:05:21 [imitating a train]

01:05:23 No, please, not the treatment!

01:05:26 [imitating a train]

01:05:27 Stop! Stop, all of you!

01:05:31 John Adiah is our guest!

01:05:33 Yes, his customs may be strange, but we must open our hearts to him!

01:05:37 She does dig me!

01:05:40 Hey, short, blonde and righteous!

01:05:42 How's about a quick game of spin the butter can?

01:05:45 Creep!

01:05:46 [imitating a train]

01:05:49 Didn't see that!

01:05:53 This goes against all the bylaws of our peace-loving community!

01:05:57 Everyone OK with that?

01:05:59 - Aye! - Aye!

01:06:00 Then let the pummeling continue!

01:06:02 Oh, boy! Oh, magic words!

01:06:05 - What? - Oh, watch the hair!

01:06:06 Come on, now!

01:06:07 - Oh! - Oh, boy, that hurt!

01:06:09 [music playing]

01:06:10 It's hopeless!

01:06:24 Twelve hours to live!

01:06:27 [moaning]

01:06:28 Good gravy, Carl, it's just a lousy houseplant!

01:06:32 It's not just a houseplant!

01:06:35 It's the best Venus flytrap I ever had!

01:06:39 Take him, Pops!

01:06:40 I want him to spend his final days among the flies he loves so well!

01:06:45 Alrighty, I'll put him in the kitchen!

01:06:48 The place is lousy with the little stinkers!

01:06:50 Farewell, little dianaya muscafula!

01:06:53 Parting is such a sweet sorrow!

01:06:56 [moaning]

01:06:57 [whistling]

01:07:02 Hey, Wave, what's up?

01:07:04 You look like somebody died!

01:07:06 [moaning]

01:07:09 Oops, I think I've made a terrible mistake!

01:07:11 I'm wearing my underwear on the outside!

01:07:13 [whipping]

01:07:14 Ah, that's better!

01:07:18 - Now, who died? - Not died!

01:07:20 Dying!

01:07:22 Read the medical report!

01:07:25 What?

01:07:26 Twelve hours to live?

01:07:28 No hope of recovery?

01:07:29 Fungal infestation?

01:07:31 Carl, you're dying!

01:07:33 And here are those being mean to you for the past two decades!

01:07:36 Huh?

01:07:37 From here on, I vow to be the best friend you always fantasized I was!

01:07:42 And I swear, I will do anything, anything to make your last day on Earth...

01:07:47 a happy one!

01:07:49 No, you don't understand!

01:07:51 That's the medical report from my venus... anything?

01:07:54 [moaning]

01:07:56 Spaceboy's log, stardate July.

01:08:02 Had sustained heavy disruptor fire.

01:08:04 My trusty lieutenant has just been back aboard the bridge.

01:08:07 I said, my lieutenant has just been back aboard!

01:08:10 Why do I gotta wear this? I just feel stupid!

01:08:13 Johnny, you said you'd play Trip McCoy Galaxy Boy with me!

01:08:17 That means you're Biff Proton, my best friend and trusted first officer!

01:08:20 Alright...

01:08:21 Lieutenant Biff... what's his name, reporting for duty, what are your stupid orders?

01:08:26 Give me a foot rub!

01:08:27 What? Not a chance, dweeb!

01:08:30 Then prepare to be disciplined!

01:08:33 [screaming]

01:08:34 What'd you do that for?

01:08:35 I thought Trip and Biff, what's his name, were friends!

01:08:38 Normally, yes.

01:08:39 But in this episode, my brain has been taken over by evil space crabs!

01:08:44 - Well, then I don't wanna-- - You will be absorbed!

01:08:46 [screaming]

01:08:47 - Why, you little-- - Uh-oh!

01:08:49 [music playing]

01:08:51 [music playing]

01:08:52 What am I doing?

01:09:12 Carl's dying and here I am, pounding his head into the carpet!

01:09:15 Oh, I feel cold!

01:09:19 I see a bright light!

01:09:21 Is this the end of Carl Krissavinowitz?

01:09:24 Please, Carl, don't die!

01:09:27 I'll make it up to you, I swear I will!

01:09:29 Really? What size unitard do you wear?

01:09:31 This won't end well.

01:09:34 Come on, Johnny!

01:09:41 [laughing]

01:09:49 [screaming]

01:09:50 I hate it here, I'm going home!

01:10:01 You can do it, Johnny!

01:10:03 Just pretend you're tiptoeing across a beautiful cloud!

01:10:07 [sighing]

01:10:17 Now come here and be my skating buddy!

01:10:20 How long before you die again?

01:10:21 Just relax and follow my lead!

01:10:24 Spin me, Johnny!

01:10:27 Now lift me!

01:10:30 [laughing]

01:10:32 - Whoa! - Whoa!

01:10:37 Owie!

01:10:40 Hey, Rink Bunny, wanna join the Johnny Capades?

01:10:44 [screaming]

01:10:47 [screaming]

01:10:48 That's it, I'm outta here!

01:10:53 Alright, I'll be fine.

01:10:56 [coughing]

01:10:57 Ow, ow, my spleen!

01:11:00 Ow, everything's getting dark and pasty!

01:11:04 Come on, Carl, quit dying on me, I'll do whatever it takes!

01:11:08 OK, follow me!

01:11:10 Carl is my best friend!

01:11:13 He is so smart and nice and a really snappy dresser!

01:11:17 I like Carl very much!

01:11:20 Excuse me, Mr. Motorist, would you run me over with your vehicle?

01:11:23 Really, you'd be doing me a favor.

01:11:25 I don't hear you, Johnny!

01:11:27 Right.

01:11:28 Carl is so great!

01:11:30 He is the sun and we are the planets!

01:11:33 He has a very pleasant singing voice!

01:11:36 Excuse me, Mr. Construction Worker,

01:11:38 would you please bury me alive, I'll give you a dollar.

01:11:41 You forgot to mention that I'm an excellent conversationalist!

01:11:44 I don't get it, Carl, we've been doing this for hours.

01:11:47 Shouldn't you be dead by now?

01:11:48 Any minute now!

01:11:50 In the meantime, keep proclaiming your devotion to me!

01:11:53 Do I have to?

01:11:54 Ow, the tunnel! I see the tunnel!

01:11:57 C is for the coolest guy I know!

01:12:00 A is for the awful way I treat him!

01:12:03 R is for his really neat bug collection!

01:12:08 L is for the love of humanity!

01:12:11 Somebody put me out of my misery!

01:12:13 I can't stand it anymore, I can't stand it!

01:12:16 Great news, Carl!

01:12:18 Your Venus flytrap's gonna live after all!

01:12:21 Huh?

01:12:22 Ah, that's great, Pops!

01:12:24 It's Naomi I trap flay!

01:12:27 Yes, sir! Three helpings of my loose meat special

01:12:30 and the little fella was as good as new!

01:12:33 I guess that fancy medical report was just a big load of bunk!

01:12:37 That report was about a stupid plant!

01:12:41 [screaming]

01:12:42 Oh, my spleen! I mean, my tooth!

01:12:44 [groaning]

01:12:46 These hangnails know picnic!

01:12:47 [laughing]

01:12:49 I like you better than people!

01:12:54 [burping]

01:12:56 Look out!

01:13:01 [music playing]

01:13:02 [music playing]

01:13:03 [grunting]

01:13:04 [grunting]

01:13:08 [music playing]

01:13:10 [music playing]

01:13:14 [groaning]

01:13:15 A babe!

01:13:18 Mercy!

01:13:20 Whatever.

01:13:27 Two, three, ha!

01:13:32 Right on!

01:13:33 Sassy!

01:13:41 Man, I'm pretty!

01:13:44 Do the monkey with me!

01:13:50 Come on!

01:13:51 Get her, buddy!

01:13:54 Yeah, whatever.

01:13:57 [music playing]

01:14:00 [music playing]

01:14:01 And that's why to a true ninja, everything is a weapon.

01:14:16 Even this lowly breakfast sausage.

01:14:18 Um, who are you?

01:14:20 [screaming]

01:14:21 See? Didn't expect that, did you?

01:14:23 Where's Master Hama?

01:14:25 I told you Master Hama ate a bad clam, so I'm in charge!

01:14:29 Now which one of you maggots thinks he can take me?

01:14:31 [growling]

01:14:33 Hmm, you!

01:14:38 Runty kid, get up here and show me what you've got!

01:14:41 Don't be afraid to hurt me!

01:14:42 And karate!

01:14:44 [grunting]

01:14:48 [grunting]

01:14:58 His chin is weak, but his skills are deadly!

01:15:01 [grunting]

01:15:04 [screaming]

01:15:08 [screaming]

01:15:11 [screaming]

01:15:14 [screaming]

01:15:16 Class dismissed!

01:15:21 Loser!

01:15:22 I am out of-- jerk!

01:15:24 [grunting]

01:15:27 Hey, mister, no dogs allowed!

01:15:29 Many pardon, senor.

01:15:30 I am looking for the karate master.

01:15:33 [grunting]

01:15:34 Glad to be me, Frenchie.

01:15:38 I have been searching far and wide for a man such as you

01:15:41 to defend my village against a vicious bandito.

01:15:44 Why don't you just defend yourselves?

01:15:46 We are a village of terrible cowards.

01:15:48 Even the meowing of the tiny kitten makes us cry like little girls.

01:15:51 Boo!

01:15:53 OK, your story checks out.

01:15:55 So, will you help us, senor?

01:15:58 I don't suppose your village is a glorious paradise

01:16:00 where women abound and nachos flow like wine?

01:16:03 Uh... si!

01:16:05 [grunting]

01:16:07 Then let's ride, amigo!

01:16:08 [music playing]

01:16:09 [music playing]

01:16:10 Well, here we are!

01:16:32 This is your town?

01:16:33 - Where is everybody? - They're hiding.

01:16:35 I told you, we are a village of cowards.

01:16:37 It's alright, everyone!

01:16:39 This is the hombre who's going to help us!

01:16:41 Welcome to Santo Buchito, senor.

01:16:51 Ow.

01:16:54 Please accept this complimentary gift basket

01:16:57 of a scale taco shells and scorpions.

01:16:59 Yeah, never mind that. Where are all the chicks?

01:17:01 Our daughters are lost away.

01:17:03 Out of fear for the bandito muy caliente.

01:17:06 What? No chicks?

01:17:08 I've had it with you crazy Germans, I'm out of here!

01:17:10 Arriba, arriba!

01:17:12 [screaming]

01:17:13 [screaming]

01:17:16 Hey, where's everyone going?

01:17:19 It's muy caliente.

01:17:21 He pillages the village every day at three o'clock.

01:17:23 Somebody hide me?

01:17:26 Senor, if you defeat muy caliente,

01:17:29 the señoritas will surround you like the tortilla surrounds the enchilada.

01:17:32 Alright! But to win, I will require three things.

01:17:36 A magnifying glass, a bowl of rice and the feather of a young condor.

01:17:40 Bang, bang! Bang, bang!

01:17:43 [kissing]

01:17:47 Caliente!

01:17:50 - Roll it! - Hombre!

01:17:53 Steady, bingo, steady!

01:17:57 Your horse's name is Bingo?

01:17:58 Si, Bingo is his name, oh.

01:18:00 So, who are you and what do you want?

01:18:04 Come again?

01:18:06 Who are you and what--

01:18:07 I'm not getting you.

01:18:08 Hold on.

01:18:09 I have to take out my retainer.

01:18:12 So, who are you?

01:18:14 I'm the guy who's gonna stop your reign of terror.

01:18:17 And how do you propose to do that?

01:18:19 I'll give you this and some rice and a pretty feather.

01:18:22 Now I'm going to pinch you and punch you and feed you to my horse.

01:18:30 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

01:18:33 Well, alright then.

01:18:35 [screaming]

01:18:36 - Quick, use this lasso. - Thanks.

01:18:40 [grunting]

01:18:43 [panting]

01:18:47 Bang, bang, bang!

01:18:50 Hola, chica.

01:18:58 Caliente has not seen you around before.

01:19:01 Yes, well, can't help now, I have tortillas in the oven.

01:19:04 Come, Conchita, give muy caliente a little kiss.

01:19:07 [kissing]

01:19:08 [laughing]

01:19:10 But I'm too shy and sweaty.

01:19:12 Surely a girl as pretty as you has kissed a man before.

01:19:16 What? I was young.

01:19:18 It was New Year's Eve, the cherry cola made me giddy.

01:19:20 Marionanza, I know that voice.

01:19:22 Now you've done it.

01:19:26 [grunting]

01:19:28 [groaning]

01:19:32 Now I will make you bark like the dog you are.

01:19:35 Never!

01:19:36 Now chirp like a parakeet.

01:19:40 Now make that clicking noise that dolphins use to find things underwater.

01:19:46 Hi, our champion is even more cowardly than we are.

01:19:52 Si, compared to such a chicken, we are born like the wolf.

01:19:56 Get him, mi amigos!

01:19:58 [screaming]

01:20:01 Setting deal?

01:20:02 [screaming]

01:20:03 [screaming]

01:20:05 [screaming]

01:20:08 [screaming]

01:20:12 Gracias, Johnny Bravo.

01:20:18 You have taught us never to depend on a stranger to fight our battles.

01:20:22 For he may turn out to be a useless jerk.

01:20:25 No problemo.

01:20:30 Now if you'll excuse me.

01:20:31 Hey, mamacitas, how'd you like a big ol' helving of refried Johnny?

01:20:36 [screaming]

01:20:37 Achoo, wawa.

01:20:41 [screaming]

01:20:42 I handle them little sticks, huh?

01:20:44 [music playing]

01:20:48 [music playing]

01:20:49 [screaming]

01:21:02 Keep your eyes out for aphids, Johnny.

01:21:07 Eternal vigilance is our only defense against those pests.

01:21:12 Aw, mama, I feel stupid wearing this.

01:21:15 Why can't I be a nice, macho chrysanthemum?

01:21:18 Incoming!

01:21:20 [music playing]

01:21:21 Hm? Hey!

01:21:23 Oh, no, no!

01:21:25 [screaming]

01:21:26 Oh, look, new neighbors!

01:21:31 Oh, stop taunting me, ottomans, dear.

01:21:34 Oh, I think we're gonna love it here.

01:21:36 Bienvenido!

01:21:38 Welcome to the neighborhood, ah, bunny Bravo.

01:21:41 Mona Hirshbaum and the Teaneck Hirshbaums.

01:21:45 Charmed.

01:21:46 Johnny, be a dear and help Mrs. Hirshbaum with her boxes.

01:21:50 I don't know.

01:21:51 Give me a dollar.

01:21:53 Mom!

01:21:54 This isn't boxed with all my tight-fitting athletic wear, right?

01:21:58 That's my daughter, Julie.

01:22:01 She's single and plays the tuba like an angel.

01:22:04 Well, aerate my roots and prune my petals.

01:22:07 I think I'm in love.

01:22:09 I'll help you with your box this new neighbor lady.

01:22:11 Oh, be careful.

01:22:13 That chifforobe's in heirloom.

01:22:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:22:16 Oh, oh, oh, oh, dear.

01:22:19 Oh, oh, oh, oh.

01:22:21 I'll just carry these in so your gorgeous daughter can tell me where to put 'em.

01:22:24 Oh, look what you've done, you careless, clumsy...

01:22:30 Butterfingers.

01:22:32 [groaning]

01:22:33 No one talks to my Johnny that way!

01:22:36 From this moment on, the Bravos and the Hirshbaums are mortal enemies.

01:22:42 [groaning]

01:22:43 Yeah, whatever. Listen, I'm gonna go in and stare at your daughter.

01:22:45 Come, Johnny, I don't ever want you to speak to these people again.

01:22:49 But I wanna stare at Julie!

01:22:52 Dear Julie,

01:22:59 I love you very, very, very, very, very, very...

01:23:05 Much.

01:23:07 This is the house we will live in when we get married.

01:23:11 This is you making me a sandwich.

01:23:14 Remember, no onions.

01:23:16 - This is-- - Johnny!

01:23:17 Are you talking to that Hirshbaum girl?

01:23:20 No, Mama!

01:23:24 Johnny has a girlfriend! Johnny has a girlfriend!

01:23:27 How about I bury the rest of your doll collection?

01:23:29 Wah! My six foot reinforced concrete wall is finished.

01:23:34 We'll never have to look at those horrible Hirshbaums again.

01:23:39 Oh, great. Now what am I gonna do?

01:23:42 If you love someone, Johnny, you should let them know.

01:23:45 What? You mean you think I should pole vault over the wall

01:23:47 and onto her balcony in a single bound?

01:23:49 - Well, I-- - I'll do it!

01:23:51 Actually, I was gonna suggest a phone call.

01:23:54 Look at her. She's like some untouchable goddess.

01:23:58 [gasping]

01:23:59 Once I get this box wire hung,

01:24:02 those horrible Bravos won't dare to set a foot on my property.

01:24:06 Here I come, my sweet patootie!

01:24:09 Woah!

01:24:11 Ow. Hello, Mrs. Hirshbaum.

01:24:14 You're looking lovely today.

01:24:16 Peanut! Mr. Foo-Foo! Attack!

01:24:18 Hey, don't--

01:24:20 [screaming]

01:24:22 Watch your head!

01:24:23 That's not it!

01:24:24 Ow.

01:24:27 Aw, it's hopeless.

01:24:31 That wall is like some big concrete barrier thing that keeps us apart.

01:24:36 Don't give up, Johnny.

01:24:37 Anything's possible if you really love someone.

01:24:39 You mean I should use your bow and arrow set to launch myself through the air

01:24:42 and into Julie's bedroom?

01:24:44 - Um, not exactly. - I'll do it!

01:24:46 Here I come, my brass bow and bow-ty-da!

01:24:49 I love you very much!

01:24:52 Ooh! Why, Mrs. Hirshbaum, what a lovely day.

01:24:55 Would you happen to have a neck brace and a cold compress I could borrow?

01:24:59 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

01:25:04 This is all your fault!

01:25:06 I'm not listening to any more of your stupid advice.

01:25:08 But Johnny, I was only trying to help.

01:25:11 So you're saying I should rent a German tank and take out the power lines with--

01:25:13 No, no, no, no, no! Johnny, listen to me.

01:25:15 There's only one option.

01:25:17 Find a way to make peace between the two mamas.

01:25:19 Hmm.

01:25:21 It's just crazy enough to work!

01:25:24 ♪ Old MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I ♪

01:25:28 Oh, my goodness!

01:25:30 ♪ B-I-N-G-O-N-G-O was his name ♪

01:25:34 Ow, my head!

01:25:35 - Aphids! - Aphids!

01:25:37 Bunny, my begonias!

01:25:40 And my azaleas!

01:25:42 One woman alone cannot defeat these six-legged fiends.

01:25:46 We've got to join forces.

01:25:48 Mona Hirshbaum, let's tear down this wall!

01:25:53 [grunting]

01:25:54 [grunting]

01:25:56 [grunting]

01:26:02 [grunting]

01:26:03 I'll get the pesticide!

01:26:07 And I'll get the big honking bug zapper I bought on sale last week!

01:26:12 What's going on, Johnny?

01:26:14 Well, I took your advice and bought a 20-gallon drum of aphids

01:26:17 and let 'em loose on the law!

01:26:18 Coming your way, Bunny!

01:26:20 Bring it on, girlfriend!

01:26:23 [grunting]

01:26:26 Yes!

01:26:29 Bunny?

01:26:30 Yes, Mona? What does this mean?

01:26:32 I have no idea.

01:26:34 And look, Johnny, they're friends again!

01:26:36 Yeah, and I still have 5,000 aphids left, see?

01:26:39 [screaming]

01:26:40 Johnny, what are you--

01:26:47 I confess!

01:26:48 I put aphids on your flower so you'd stop fighting!

01:26:51 I did it 'cause I'm in love with your daughter.

01:26:54 Oh!

01:26:55 Is that the most precious thing you've ever heard?

01:26:59 I would be proud to have a boy like you chasing mindlessly after my daughter!

01:27:05 Mom, what's going on?

01:27:07 - Julie? - Yes, Johnny?

01:27:12 Say, you ain't gonna end up looking like your mama, are ya?

01:27:14 Excuse me?

01:27:15 'Cause you know you're sweet, but she is--

01:27:17 [growling]

01:27:18 Pucker up, all them tuba lessons are about to pay off!

01:27:22 [grunting]

01:27:23 [laughing]

01:27:27 Maybe it would be better if we just moved.

01:27:30 Keep in touch, dear.

01:27:31 [screaming]

01:27:34 [groaning]

01:27:37 Huh? Oh, Mona!

01:27:39 [grunting]

01:27:41 Hey there, my little truscan honey bun, your burly gladiator is here.

01:27:45 [grunting]

01:27:46 [screaming]

01:27:47 I came, I saw, I broke a hip.

01:27:51 [groaning]

01:27:53 [music playing]

01:27:54 That's it, Pig Johnny, your sweaty back-breaking labor

01:28:09 may lead to my greatest discovery yet!

01:28:11 Why am I doing all the digging?

01:28:13 Quiet, Johnny, this is science!

01:28:14 There's no complaining in science!

01:28:16 I thought you said we'd find scary dinosaur skeletons here.

01:28:20 All we found so far is an angry muskrat.

01:28:23 This priceless Egyptian pottery.

01:28:25 And these sticks of dynamite.

01:28:27 [crashing]

01:28:29 No skeletons, huh?

01:28:31 Then what do you call this?

01:28:32 What the heck is that?

01:28:35 It's a fragment of the anterior toe bone of a brachiated puptosaurus.

01:28:38 - So? - So?

01:28:40 So he stood over three feet tall,

01:28:43 with nasty green eyes and an annoying high-pitched roar!

01:28:47 [roaring]

01:28:51 [screaming]

01:28:52 I meant to do that.

01:28:54 Oh my gosh, look at that!

01:28:56 Let me see, let me see, let me see!

01:28:58 [screaming]

01:29:01 Johnny, do you realize what you've just found?

01:29:04 No, but I'm sure you're gonna yammer on about it.

01:29:06 It's an artifact from a genuine Bravopithecus!

01:29:09 Perfectly preserved in amber.

01:29:11 Bravopithecus?

01:29:13 That's right, after the last ice age,

01:29:15 this noble biped bestrode these valleys like a colossus!

01:29:20 Wow, did he fight a lot of scary dinosaurs?

01:29:22 Loads of 'em!

01:29:23 Ah, but you probably don't care about that.

01:29:25 But I do care, tell me more, Carl!

01:29:27 Tell me the whole story!

01:29:30 OK, a long time ago in a gene pool far away,

01:29:34 evolution had hit a bit of a snag!

01:29:37 Hey, Mama, bring me another warthog sandwich!

01:29:39 Johnny, this is your 10th one today!

01:29:43 All you do is sit around the cave all day and eat!

01:29:46 Hey, there's no pickles on that sandwich!

01:29:49 Look around, Johnny,

01:29:50 everyone on the block is evolving except you!

01:29:54 Your cousin Grock just learned to use his opposable thumbs!

01:29:57 [humming]

01:29:59 And just last week, that nice Cro-Magnon boy, Carl,

01:30:05 invented fire and the wheel!

01:30:08 Cook, you stupid marshmallow!

01:30:10 Yeah, but everybody hates him.

01:30:14 [clearing throat]

01:30:16 Uh, Johnny, me and some of the other cavemen are concerned

01:30:19 that your crummy attitude might be angering the spirit world!

01:30:23 I'm afraid that unless you start pulling your weight around here,

01:30:27 we're gonna have to cast you out of the tribe!

01:30:29 Hey, man, if you got a point, could you make it after lunch?

01:30:32 Boys.

01:30:34 [screaming]

01:30:35 Stop!

01:30:37 He's ventured beyond the tree!

01:30:40 No one has ever gone that far and lived!

01:30:43 I'll show you all!

01:30:45 I'll find a tribe that accepts me for who I am!

01:30:48 And when I do, they'll probably make me king!

01:30:51 And I'll come back and make you all dance around like stupid little monkeys!

01:30:54 [laughing]

01:30:55 Dang, I'm hungry.

01:31:02 Hey, a nest! Nest means eggs!

01:31:08 Eggs means breakfast!

01:31:09 Breakfast, the most important meal of the plasticine era!

01:31:12 [music playing]

01:31:13 Huh?

01:31:16 Aw, look at the cute little things.

01:31:20 Where's your mama, little fellows?

01:31:23 Maybe this is where I belong.

01:31:24 Caring for these defenseless creatures.

01:31:26 Protecting them from the cold.

01:31:28 Teaching them how to make me a sandwich.

01:31:31 Aw, look.

01:31:33 They like me.

01:31:35 [screaming]

01:31:36 Calm down, lady, I wasn't gonna eat 'em.

01:31:38 Well, maybe a little one.

01:31:40 [screaming]

01:31:42 [screaming]

01:31:43 Whoa, I wouldn't mind joining her tribe.

01:31:50 Hey, baby, how's about letting me be your missing link to love?

01:31:59 Oh, I get it.

01:32:02 You're one of those feminist cave women who likes to make the first move.

01:32:05 Wait, isn't there any way I can win your heart?

01:32:09 Well, you could help me get rid of the giant dinosaur

01:32:11 that's been terrorizing me.

01:32:13 Anything's better than being thrown off this cliff.

01:32:15 Where is the ugly varmint?

01:32:16 At the bottom of this cliff.

01:32:18 [screaming]

01:32:19 I'll take it.

01:32:28 Now, where would I be if I were a giant scary dinosaur?

01:32:37 Maybe I can get a better view from this hill.

01:32:39 Man, this hill stinks.

01:32:41 And it's all rough and scaly.

01:32:43 And, uh, freezing.

01:32:46 This won't end well.

01:32:49 [screaming]

01:32:55 [screaming]

01:33:06 [screaming]

01:33:07 [screaming]

01:33:12 [groaning]

01:33:18 No, I-- No, no, no, no.

01:33:20 Sorry, fella.

01:33:22 The boys don't like to miss a minute of the Manhunt Warthog Show.

01:33:25 Hold on, this part's hilarious.

01:33:28 You mean all you do all day is sit around

01:33:32 and watch colorful images on a big square thing?

01:33:35 No, sometimes we walk over to the buffet table

01:33:38 and make a big, cheesy plate of nachos.

01:33:40 Big, cheesy plate?

01:33:42 I found my home!

01:33:45 There's a new link in the food chain.

01:33:52 And it's crunchy.

01:33:53 Scoot over, fellas.

01:33:55 And that's why we have snack foods.

01:34:03 So did Bravo Pithy Guy ever go back to his tribe?

01:34:05 Where'd they get the microwaves to cook the nachos?

01:34:07 Did cavemen brush their teeth with rocks?

01:34:09 Uh-huh, uh-huh.

01:34:10 And then the Ice Age hit.

01:34:11 And people used snowballs for money.

01:34:13 And polar bears directed traffic.

01:34:15 And ravenous man-eating chickens roamed the prairies.

01:34:18 None of that story's true, is it, Carl?

01:34:22 No, I made it all up because I crave attention.

01:34:26 [screaming]

01:34:28 [music playing]

01:34:29 Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

01:34:37 [screaming]

01:34:38 Look out.

01:34:43 [music playing]

01:34:44 [grunting]

01:34:47 [groaning]

01:34:56 Whoa!

01:34:57 A bear!

01:35:01 Mercy.

01:35:03 Whatever.

01:35:09 Two, three, go!

01:35:11 Way to go!

01:35:15 Sassy!

01:35:24 Man, I'm pretty.

01:35:27 [music playing]

01:35:28 Do the monkey with me!

01:35:33 Come on!

01:35:34 Get her, lady.

01:35:36 Yeah, whatever.

01:35:39 [music playing]

01:35:42 Oh, you're such a cute little doggie.

01:35:55 Oh, there you go.

01:35:56 Oh, you're such a cute little doggie.

01:35:58 Captain's Diary, 282.1.

01:36:01 Dear diary, my expedition to the planet Earth

01:36:04 has turned up an abundance of carborundum.

01:36:06 And some deliciously toothy late night talk shows.

01:36:09 But I regret to report that the planet has no intelligent life whatsoever.

01:36:14 [groaning]

01:36:15 Johnny Brothel, karate style.

01:36:24 Ah-ha, a worthy opponent.

01:36:27 Too bad you don't stand a chance against my thrust of a thousand noodles.

01:36:31 [squeaking]

01:36:32 And so, diary, this mission has been a complete waste.

01:36:40 Engineer, commence transport.

01:36:44 Whoa!

01:36:48 [music playing]

01:36:53 [bell ringing]

01:36:54 Whoa!

01:36:57 Wiggy, did I land in one of them Shakespeare in the Park thingies?

01:37:01 - Captain? - Huh?

01:37:02 I'll play along.

01:37:05 Yeah, verily, McSquiggy, oh, I am in sooth and whatever.

01:37:08 Mr. Fleen, something weird happened to the captain during transport.

01:37:12 Report to the bridge immediately.

01:37:14 Follow me, Captain.

01:37:15 Shall I compare thee to a six foot hoagie?

01:37:18 Thy bread is fresh, thy lettuce is more crunchy.

01:37:22 [music playing]

01:37:23 Whoa!

01:37:25 Hey, this isn't Shakespeare in the Park.

01:37:28 Tronoscope readings indicate normal parameters

01:37:32 for cell structure and dinucleic compounds.

01:37:35 [squeaking]

01:37:36 But brain function is down to 4%.

01:37:39 4%? That's almost 5%.

01:37:41 Captain, would you turn your head and cough?

01:37:43 Alright, now cut it out!

01:37:45 What's with all the scientific gobbledygook and cappin' stuff?

01:37:49 Captain, regulation 50739 explicitly states--

01:37:52 For the last time, I'm not your stupid--

01:37:55 Captain, it's time for your space freighters and hot oil massage.

01:37:58 The captain is in.

01:38:01 Space, it's really, really, really, really big.

01:38:06 These are my voyages.

01:38:07 My mission, to meet alien chicks and drink a lot of space lemonade.

01:38:11 I especially like the lemonade. You know how they make it up here?

01:38:13 - Captain? - First they squeeze the lemons

01:38:15 with laser beams, then they add a lot of space sugar

01:38:18 to make it all sweet. Mmm, Captain.

01:38:20 What?

01:38:22 Your loop-the-loops have severely degraded our lithium crystals.

01:38:26 We'll need to rig a bypass circuit to the Heisenberg compensator.

01:38:28 Hey, you got more gold fingers on your costume than I do.

01:38:32 Arrest him!

01:38:33 Enemy vessel approaching our zone of comfort on the starboard side, sir.

01:38:36 Bring it up on the widescreen TV.

01:38:38 This stinks. What else is on?

01:38:46 Weapons are online. Our adversary has us at his mercy.

01:38:49 Oh, yeah? I'll show him who's boss. I ain't afraid of anything.

01:38:53 [screaming]

01:38:56 Greetings, crew of the Nimrod.

01:38:58 I am Karlok, emperor of Geekdar 5 and destroyer of worlds.

01:39:03 They say sniffiness is a dish best served cold.

01:39:06 Well, it's very cold in space.

01:39:10 [laughing]

01:39:12 Karl, you weed. What are you doing way out here?

01:39:15 I know not this, Karl.

01:39:16 Perhaps you have eaten too many saurian rumballs.

01:39:19 That's funny. You look like this creepy geek I know from Earth.

01:39:22 It is possible.

01:39:23 I have traveled the galaxy for eons and where my DNA has sprouted,

01:39:27 who can say?

01:39:28 Uh-huh. Well, nice to meet you. I gotta go now.

01:39:30 OK, have a nice day.

01:39:32 Hey! Now you have angered me.

01:39:35 Lower your deflector shields and I may have access to you.

01:39:38 Never!

01:39:39 Then I will smear you across the galaxy.

01:39:41 Ooh.

01:39:43 Do what it says, but, Captain, do it!

01:39:45 I have a plan.

01:39:46 Force fields are down.

01:39:49 Good.

01:39:50 Take the crew! Take the whole ship! Just don't hurt me!

01:39:53 [laughing]

01:39:56 [laughing]

01:40:01 [laughing]

01:40:03 Huh?

01:40:06 Welcome, my worthy adversary.

01:40:09 Perhaps you are wondering why I have transported us

01:40:11 to the surface of this planetoid.

01:40:13 Oh, no!

01:40:14 You're gonna let a space leech burrow into my brain

01:40:16 so I'll become your slave!

01:40:18 No, but that's a good idea.

01:40:20 Note to self, explore brain leech idea.

01:40:22 OK, Karlock, what do you want?

01:40:24 I wish to find out who would win in a contest of good and evil.

01:40:28 I shall represent evil.

01:40:30 Joining me on my evil team will be Genghis Khan

01:40:32 and a lizard man from the planet Delector.

01:40:35 Ugly team, more like it.

01:40:36 Joining you on your good team

01:40:38 is this 45-pound tenor from the Vienna Boys Choir.

01:40:41 ♪ Dona nobis requiem ♪

01:40:45 [screaming]

01:40:47 [screaming]

01:40:48 It would appear that good lifts its satiny robes

01:40:53 and runs at the sight of evil.

01:40:55 And it would appear that evil needs a bar of soap and a deep gum cleaning.

01:41:00 [laughing]

01:41:03 You laugh, I subjugate the mongols!

01:41:07 [screaming]

01:41:08 [screaming]

01:41:10 [grunting]

01:41:11 Looks like it's just you and me, Captain.

01:41:18 A moment please as I prepare for battle.

01:41:20 Oh, you wanna put that back on?

01:41:25 Traditional Greco-Venusian rules apply.

01:41:27 You may find some of my moves quite unconventional.

01:41:31 Like that chest slap.

01:41:33 [screaming]

01:41:38 It would appear that evil has little girly hands.

01:41:41 Now good will seize the elastic waistband of evil.

01:41:44 Galactic unwinding!

01:41:46 Nuggy, nuggy, nuggy, nuggy, nuggy.

01:41:48 Ha ha!

01:41:48 I win, I win, I win, I win, I win, I win!

01:41:51 I underestimated you, Captain.

01:41:53 And I commend you for demonstrating mercy towards me.

01:41:56 What? I'm not done beating on you.

01:41:58 [screaming]

01:42:00 Hey, what are you doing? I was just starting to have fun.

01:42:05 You impersonated an officer and commandeered my ship.

01:42:08 Blah, blah, blah. What are you gonna do?

01:42:10 Strand me on a strange planet with a bunch of horrible aliens?

01:42:13 [whistling]

01:42:14 Forget I said that.

01:42:16 Nice puppy.

01:42:24 Good doggy. Good boy.

01:42:27 [music playing]

01:42:29 [barking]

01:42:46 Yes, sweetie, Mama likes the lightning and hailstones too.

01:42:50 [barking]

01:42:52 [barking]

01:42:54 No, baby, you're not on solid food yet.

01:43:01 [barking]

01:43:03 I'm sorry, sweetie.

01:43:11 Mama likes evil as much as the next person,

01:43:13 but you're just too much for me.

01:43:16 [knocking]

01:43:20 Goodbye. I'll miss you.

01:43:22 [burping]

01:43:24 Whatever.

01:43:25 Whoa, it's my delivery from Tainted Seafood of the Month Club.

01:43:31 This month it's squirt clams from the shores of Lodi, New Jersey.

01:43:37 Mmm, squirty.

01:43:39 Hey, where's my squirt clams?

01:43:42 Hey, what's this?

01:43:46 I can no longer bear the horror I've unleashed upon the world.

01:43:50 Please take good care of little Damien.

01:43:53 He has his father's eye.

01:43:54 Aw, man, I don't wanna be saddled with no--

01:43:58 Hey there, little fella.

01:44:00 Aw, you poor, bald little bundle of stank.

01:44:04 Don't worry, Johnny will take care of you.

01:44:07 Yes, he will.

01:44:08 Would you, would you, would you, would you, would you?

01:44:11 [screaming]

01:44:15 You must be hungry.

01:44:16 Let's get you a bottle and me a tourniquet to stem the massive blood loss.

01:44:20 You sit here, you little scamp.

01:44:22 Huh? What's this?

01:44:24 Hmm, baby formula.

01:44:26 Stick around while Johnny makes you some delicious baby slop.

01:44:30 [whimpering]

01:44:31 [spitting]

01:44:33 [spitting]

01:44:35 This'll work.

01:44:38 Says here, take the wing of a bat.

01:44:41 Hmm, I guess these tickles will do.

01:44:43 The crushed eyes of a lizard.

01:44:45 I'll go with a raisin.

01:44:47 And a shriveled weasel paw.

01:44:49 Hmm.

01:44:50 Hey, there's one left. Sweet.

01:44:52 Smooth.

01:45:00 Open your yap, you little drool monkey.

01:45:02 Here comes the yummy train.

01:45:04 [spitting]

01:45:05 Huh? Whoa.

01:45:07 There's gotta be a logical explanation for this.

01:45:10 [spitting]

01:45:12 Perhaps an ionized burst of static electricity

01:45:14 has anchored the tiny pixies who live in that spoon.

01:45:17 [whimpering]

01:45:19 [whimpering]

01:45:22 Well, that shoots down that theory.

01:45:24 [laughing]

01:45:26 [whimpering]

01:45:32 Great sweat and pachyderms. That's astounding.

01:45:36 I thought we lost that egg-tonic.

01:45:38 [laughing]

01:45:42 Hey, that can't be child safe.

01:45:44 I'll save you, baby.

01:45:46 [screaming]

01:45:47 In all, for a sweet little baby,

01:45:54 he has quite a well-developed sense of mischief.

01:45:57 Uh-oh.

01:46:00 Now where did the little munchkin get to?

01:46:05 [sneezing]

01:46:07 Here, little baby.

01:46:08 [sneezing]

01:46:11 Now I gotcha.

01:46:12 [screaming]

01:46:13 [laughing]

01:46:14 [screaming]

01:46:17 [screaming]

01:46:21 Bad baby, stop defying the laws of physics.

01:46:25 Look out for those trees.

01:46:27 [sneezing]

01:46:28 Stay clear of those electrical wires.

01:46:31 [sneezing]

01:46:32 Watch out for that Japanese cargo ship.

01:46:35 What am I, talking to myself here?

01:46:37 [screaming]

01:46:40 [mumbling]

01:46:41 [screaming]

01:46:46 That's it, baby.

01:46:49 Johnny's not playing around anymore.

01:46:51 I knew this lint ball would come in handy.

01:46:54 [screaming]

01:46:56 That was a bad idea!

01:47:02 [laughing]

01:47:03 Good thing this concrete broke my fall.

01:47:10 [groaning]

01:47:11 Listen, you. I've had enough of you and your creepy powers.

01:47:17 We're going home and you're going to bed without--

01:47:20 Oh, is that a baby?

01:47:22 You want him?

01:47:23 I love babies, they're so cute and cuddly.

01:47:26 Then it's settled. He eats bat wings and lizard eyes

01:47:29 and I wouldn't play with my abs around him.

01:47:30 Well, gotta be going.

01:47:31 Oh, he's just a little itty bitty baby,

01:47:34 aren't you just a little itty bitty baby?

01:47:36 [screaming]

01:47:40 Wait, come back! I'll throw in a toaster!

01:47:42 Alright, baby, playtime's over!

01:47:48 Come back here, you bad baby!

01:47:51 Bad baby!

01:47:53 Bad naughty not very nice baby!

01:47:55 [screaming]

01:47:57 [meowing]

01:47:59 Zombies! Bummer.

01:48:08 We're surrounded!

01:48:10 [screaming]

01:48:11 There's no possible way we'll ever get out of this situation!

01:48:14 [screaming]

01:48:16 Hey, thanks for dropping me off at the house

01:48:20 instead of eating me and stuff.

01:48:22 No problem. Cute kid.

01:48:24 Alright, baby, right to bed with you and no more funny stuff.

01:48:28 What did I just tell you?

01:48:30 Well, maybe just this once.

01:48:31 - Mew! - Mama!

01:48:34 Puddin'.

01:48:35 You the one who left this baby in my doorstep?

01:48:38 Yes, I am.

01:48:39 But I realize even though he's a black hearted little monster,

01:48:42 I couldn't possibly live without my little snooky-yookles.

01:48:46 Thank you for taking such good care of him.

01:48:49 Oh, yeah?

01:48:50 Well, your kid's a creepy little dweeb, lady.

01:48:52 In fact, he'll probably start World War III.

01:48:54 You don't like my baby?

01:48:57 Johnny, I'm home!

01:48:59 How was your day, sweetie?

01:49:02 I'd rather not talk about it.

01:49:04 Hey, got any fresh flies in there?

01:49:06 Oh, Johnny.

01:49:08 [laughing]

01:49:10 And now my science project.

01:49:16 Who is more intelligent, Johnny Bravo or a common ordinary lab mouse?

01:49:20 Hey, no fair. Where's my cheese?

01:49:32 Oh!

01:49:33 For years, scholars and philosophers have been baffled by one burning question.

01:49:50 Where do the tiny people in your TV come from?

01:49:52 Maybe if I follow this wire, it'll lead me to their tiny TV studio.

01:49:56 Hey, when I find them, maybe they'll give me some tiny T-shirts

01:50:01 and little autographs and stuff.

01:50:03 What the-- They must be pulling from the other side.

01:50:07 Stock up tiny little Hollywood snobs.

01:50:14 Johnny, Johnny, you've gotta help me.

01:50:16 I'm a little busy, little girl. What with the concussion and all.

01:50:19 But I've lost my Jiggle Me Jibble doll.

01:50:21 You've gotta help me find it.

01:50:23 What do I look like, a detective?

01:50:26 Well, Johnny, if you found my dolly, you would be a detective.

01:50:30 And you know how girls love private eyes.

01:50:33 I'll take the case.

01:50:34 There are a million stories in the Naughty City,

01:50:38 and the case of the missing dolly was just one of them.

01:50:40 I started where any good private eye would, by looking for clues.

01:50:45 Ah! Giant-ass!

01:50:50 I'm free!

01:50:51 Clues are scary.

01:50:57 Better stick to digging up suspects.

01:51:00 There's a suspicious type.

01:51:01 All right, you. Where's the dolly?

01:51:03 Talk or you're going up the river.

01:51:05 I'm looking for a dolly. Anyone seen it?

01:51:10 Where were you on the night of the 16th?

01:51:14 At home, watching TV.

01:51:15 Really? Hey, did you see that show about the wacky Tingblad family

01:51:18 who adopt the adorable chimp?

01:51:20 Hey, mister, I saw your dolly.

01:51:22 I especially like the part where the chimp tries to make breakfast.

01:51:25 And everything goes topsy-turvy.

01:51:27 I saw who took it, too.

01:51:28 Will you shut up? I'm telling a funny chimp story.

01:51:31 Oh, mama.

01:51:33 She had long blonde hair and legs for miles.

01:51:36 She was trouble.

01:51:37 Johnny likes trouble.

01:51:39 But, mister--

01:51:40 Out of my way, kid. You obviously don't know anything.

01:51:42 Excuse me. I couldn't help noticing you've got long blonde hair

01:51:46 and legs for miles.

01:51:47 What's it to you, gumshoe?

01:51:49 Well, I'm a private eye, and this is the part of the story

01:51:51 where you fall in love with me.

01:51:53 Not likely, Snoop.

01:51:55 You gonna tell me what you know?

01:51:56 I ain't no stool pigeon.

01:51:58 Good. Then I'll have to search ya.

01:52:00 Ah, sick of the hired muscle on me, huh?

01:52:04 Listen to me, you overgrown--

01:52:06 [groaning]

01:52:07 Too bad. You're kinda cute.

01:52:14 If you wanna talk again, just whistle.

01:52:16 You know how to whistle, don't you?

01:52:18 Hi, Johnny. How's the catch going?

01:52:23 I'm close. I can feel it.

01:52:25 [groaning]

01:52:26 No, wait. That's the soda can lodged between my vertebrae.

01:52:29 Johnny, you won't find criminals on a playground.

01:52:32 You've gotta descend into the belly of the beast.

01:52:34 You've gotta walk the seedy raffle

01:52:36 where life's angry losers feast in their own twisted juices.

01:52:40 Hey, I know just the place.

01:52:41 Welcome to Pops.

01:52:42 I'm on a case, Pops.

01:52:44 I'm tracking a devious criminal who's perpetrated a horrible crime.

01:52:47 I was never in Detroit.

01:52:48 I don't know anything about a missing shipment of exotic sea turtles.

01:52:51 Um, actually, it's about a dolly.

01:52:53 Huh. Sorry, I don't know anything about it.

01:52:56 Well, maybe this will jog your memory.

01:52:58 Really, Johnny, I don't know a thing.

01:52:59 Ring any bells now?

01:53:01 Going to complete blank.

01:53:02 How about now?

01:53:04 Listen, Johnny, I honestly don't know what you're talking about.

01:53:07 Alright, take it. That's all I have. Now start singing.

01:53:10 Sorry, son, I got nothing.

01:53:11 Oh, thinking I have my money back?

01:53:13 [laughing]

01:53:15 No.

01:53:16 I don't get it, Pops.

01:53:17 How can I solve this case without doing a lot of work?

01:53:20 Have you tried roughing up some of the lowlifes in the diner?

01:53:23 Thanks, Pops. You're always there for me.

01:53:25 Don't sweat it, son.

01:53:27 Hey, Bobo, close the kitchen. We're going to the dog tracks.

01:53:30 Now let's see.

01:53:31 Which one of these yags should I senselessly rough up?

01:53:34 Alright, you. Tell me what you know and I don't mean tomorrow.

01:53:38 I couldn't help overhearing you mention the doll.

01:53:41 I have information you may find useful.

01:53:44 Not talking, eh?

01:53:45 Maybe these drops of water will loosen your tongue.

01:53:54 No, not the little drops of water.

01:53:57 Talk. Talk, I said.

01:53:59 You idiot. I'm trying to help you.

01:54:02 When I need your help, I'll ask for it.

01:54:04 Now tell me what I need to know. Don't make me use the ketchup.

01:54:08 You leave me no recourse but to call my associate, Otto.

01:54:13 Otto, huh? Well, bring him on. I ain't scared of no--

01:54:16 Hello, Otto.

01:54:18 I haven't seen you since you beat me to a pulp this morning.

01:54:20 [laughing]

01:54:21 [screaming]

01:54:23 Hi, Johnny. What's the skinny?

01:54:25 I'm off the case. You can find your own stupid doll.

01:54:28 Don't quit now, Johnny. I'll double your salary.

01:54:31 But you're not paying me anything.

01:54:32 I'll triple it.

01:54:33 Done.

01:54:36 The rain dripped down like mayonnaise

01:54:38 under the giant cheese hoagie of a city gone bad.

01:54:41 I turned the clues over and over until finally the answer hit me.

01:54:45 Oh.

01:54:47 Huh?

01:54:48 I'll just buy a what's-her-name-a-new doll so I can go home and watch television.

01:54:53 Hey, the locks have been jimmied.

01:54:55 It's the blonde lady from the park.

01:54:57 You're in way over your head, Johnny. Get out while you still can.

01:55:02 Who are those dolls for? Don't make me get rough.

01:55:04 - They're for my sister. - Lies.

01:55:06 They're for my mother.

01:55:08 They're for my sister and my mother.

01:55:10 Stop. I'll talk.

01:55:13 I'm hoarding them all so I can resell them to kids at jacked-up prices.

01:55:17 You fiend!

01:55:18 But you're never gonna tell anyone.

01:55:21 Say your prayers, Johnny.

01:55:23 Johnny!

01:55:28 We got here just in time.

01:55:30 Actually, a couple of seconds sooner would have been really sweet.

01:55:34 Can you get me off the hook, Johnny? For old times' sake?

01:55:38 Sorry, toots. You ran me over with a tiny car.

01:55:41 You're taking a fall.

01:55:42 That's too bad, 'cause it was you I loved, Johnny.

01:55:45 Right from the start.

01:55:46 Huh?

01:55:48 [sizzling]

01:55:49 It was her, officer.

01:55:55 The little annoying kid. She was behind it all along.

01:55:57 Let's go, sister.

01:55:58 [laughing]

01:55:59 Give her another chance. She'll be good, I promise.

01:56:02 It was a kid, I tell ya. She's a criminal mastermind.

01:56:08 Thank goodness I got you back, Jimbo.

01:56:11 Ew, you got all yucky.

01:56:17 [music playing]

01:56:18 We're off.

01:56:23 [music playing]

01:56:24 [grunting]

01:56:26 Oh!

01:56:30 Bop, bop!

01:56:32 Bop, bop!

01:56:36 Oh!

01:56:37 A bear!

01:56:40 Mostly.

01:56:42 [music playing]

01:56:44 [bell ringing]

01:56:45 Whatever.

01:56:49 Two, three, go!

01:56:51 Where they at?

01:56:55 Sassy!

01:57:03 Man, I'm pretty.

01:57:06 Do the monkey with me! Come on!

01:57:13 [music playing]

01:57:14 Hey there, buddy.

01:57:16 Yeah, whatever.

01:57:19 [music playing]

01:57:22 Friends, there are three things that have made our town great.

01:57:36 Goat tossing, evil clowns and aji tuna.

01:57:40 Today, we honor one of those things.

01:57:43 [groaning]

01:57:44 No, no, no, I'm talking about the tuna.

01:57:47 So, as mayor of our fine town,

01:57:50 I welcome you all to the 16th annual Aji Tuna Fest.

01:57:54 Let the chowing begin.

01:57:56 [chewing]

01:57:58 Gee, Pops, this is the best aji tuna fest ever.

01:58:07 You're telling me, Carl.

01:58:08 And when the town gets a load of my tuna tots,

01:58:11 it'll put the diner on the map.

01:58:13 I declare this tuna to be the finest I've ever tasted.

01:58:17 [howling]

01:58:19 Pops, everyone's keeling over from your tuna.

01:58:33 Blastin' red tide.

01:58:35 This is terrible, Pops.

01:58:37 Every member of the town government has gotten food poisoning.

01:58:41 Pops?

01:58:43 I know not this, Pops.

01:58:44 Ah, good gravy.

01:58:46 Who will run the town?

01:58:48 Quickly, call the ambulance.

01:58:51 No time, mayor. I've got to save the town.

01:58:54 Let's see.

01:58:57 It says here in the city charter

01:58:59 that if the entire government is rendered sick from tuna,

01:59:02 the village idiot shall be proclaimed mayor.

01:59:04 The village idiot.

01:59:06 Hi-ya!

01:59:11 [laughing]

01:59:12 - Mud angel. - Johnny, Johnny!

01:59:13 Come quickly.

01:59:14 You're the new acting mayor.

01:59:16 Great. Let me run home and get my snow shoes and a towel grabber.

01:59:19 Uh, no mayor.

01:59:21 Alright.

01:59:23 Hey, how'd this happen?

01:59:24 Well, the city charter said that the village idiot--

01:59:26 I mean, you're the best man for the job.

01:59:29 The people have spoken.

01:59:31 Let's move.

01:59:33 Do you swear to uphold the duties of mayor

01:59:38 to the best of your obviously limited abilities till death do you part?

01:59:41 Blah, blah, blah. When do I get my graft?

01:59:43 Congratulations! You're the new mayor.

01:59:45 My administration can be summed up in three words.

01:59:49 Mandatory bikinis.

01:59:50 Actually, I had a few ideas of my own.

01:59:52 As indicated by these color charts.

01:59:55 The first thing we need to do is construct a new--

Transcript

Recommandée