New show shares advice on looking for love later in life
It’s not often we see senior citizens represented on reality TV dating shows, but that’s about to change.
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TVTranscript
00:00 I think it's really important that we consider this life stage as vibrant in romance as any
00:07 other time.
00:08 Often we have very ageist ideas that this should be a time you're over all of that sort
00:13 of thing and you should be really devoted to your grandchildren or taking up golf.
00:18 And in fact, nothing could be further than the truth for many people who still think,
00:24 well, companionship, intimacy, sex, great travel, lots of options are still ahead of
00:30 me.
00:31 Am I right to presume that relationships are far more matured in your more matured years
00:35 and you're a lot more confident if you go onto the dating scene?
00:39 Look, there's certainly less self-consciousness.
00:42 You'd think there'd be more because there is that awareness of your body's not being
00:46 perhaps as they were or your confidence, your place in society is a bit different.
00:52 But in fact, because there's a certain amount you can't do about any of that, some of that
00:57 self-consciousness about how do I look in this and how do I come across slips away,
01:02 you know, and there can be a lot more maturity, a lot more sort of being settled in oneself
01:07 and owning up to, well, this is who I am and this is what I'm looking for.
01:11 So whilst a more mature data might have this perception of themselves, often in that scene,
01:18 people come to that scene with baggage.
01:21 It's not a great word, but they come with life experience.
01:25 So does that make it a little bit more difficult to navigate?
01:28 Well, look, probably baggage is a bit of the right word because of course there's a history
01:32 of relationships before that, probably a considerable history, but also you're not dating alone.
01:38 You're often bringing a couple of generations with you.
01:40 Now this is very different to any other life stage.
01:44 So sometimes your children or even grandchildren can be ambivalent through to hostile about
01:49 you pursuing this and saying, aren't we enough for you?
01:52 You know, surely you could do a bit more babysitting and that would be a good use of your time.
01:57 So there is this real rejection.
01:58 I mean, often we have a rejection of our parents being sexual beings anyway, but I think there
02:03 is a real sense of, you know, get over it.
02:08 And so you can actually need to spend some time introducing your children and grandchildren
02:14 to the needs that you still have and to bring them on the journey.
02:17 I think some people keep it under wraps and then just say, surprise, I've met someone
02:22 and that can be a real shock.
02:24 But I think to be able to say, look, I am actually feeling lonely for companionship
02:28 of my own and I'd like a bigger life and I want you to support me in this.
02:33 So if anyone who may be watching this and who may be wanting to get back into the dating
02:38 scene again, what tips would you give them?
02:41 Look, I think what's really important is to feel entitled to want this, to feel that even
02:47 if those around you don't support you, that you are actually entitled.
02:51 This is a valid interest that you have to certainly bring your family on the journey
02:56 to introduce them to those interests.
02:58 I think anybody dating needs a bit of a cheer squad.
03:01 So to have other people who do actually say, how's it going, that you tell people that
03:07 you're open to it so that they might have friends that they want to introduce you to.
03:11 You might have a wingman too.
03:12 Well, look, there might be all of that.
03:14 And I think being open to new experiences to realise that at that stage of life, you
03:19 can have very settled groups of friends and hobbies.
03:22 And some of it is going to involve going out on a limb and trying some new things.
03:27 But you know, dating apps are available for this life stage as well.
03:30 And we often think again in ageist ways that this is not a group that are savvy around
03:35 technology and really that's lots of research has shown that's not at all true.
03:39 Right, so there's a lot of dating apps out there on offer that are safe and useful and
03:46 result in matches?
03:47 Yes, absolutely.
03:49 Yeah, absolutely.
03:50 So this is this is now most one of the most common ways to meet people.
03:54 So I think at that life stage, there can often be friends and, you know, other people who
04:00 can introduce you certainly, but apps are going to play a part in that.
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