FARAH was just eight years old when she was diagnosed with alopecia areata and by the age of 15, her hair had completely fallen out. She told Truly: "Alopecia is an autoimmune disease and it just means my immune system attacks the hair follicles which causes hair loss." Talking about losing her locks, Farah revealed: "It was really scary, it was just a constant thing to figure out how I was going to cover it and hide it." Subjected to cruel bullying at school, Farah hid her bald reflection from the world, even avoiding her reflection at home. She said: "I was a very insecure kid. I'd lock myself in the bathroom, cover the mirrors. I couldn't look at myself." When Farah studied jewellery design at university, she decided to speak about her alopecia journey for the first time by creating a collection inspired by her experience. Farah's tutor encouraged her to model each piece - which meant ditching the wig for the very first time. She admitted: "It feels extremely vulnerable when you let people see you without your wig on. That was the first time I'd let the world see me without my wig on." In this episode of Shake My Beauty, we'll gain a greater insight into Farah's alopecia journey and how she now proudly embraces - and loves - her bald head.
Follow Farah: @FarahMLondon
Follow Farah: @FarahMLondon
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FunTranscript
00:00 I'm Farrah and I have alopecia.
00:02 I lost all my hair at 15.
00:03 I felt ugly, like I just was a young girl
00:06 and I wanted to feel pretty.
00:07 Alopecia ruined my confidence.
00:09 I only ever took my wig off to wash it.
00:12 I couldn't look at myself.
00:13 I'd lock myself in the bathroom, cover the mirrors.
00:15 I decided to dedicate my final project at university
00:19 to speaking about my alopecia for the first time.
00:22 And I remember being like to my tutor like,
00:24 "Oh, I need to find a bald model now."
00:26 And she was just like, "Farrah, what are you talking about?"
00:29 I voided my reflection for 10 years, but now I'm proud of it.
00:31 My name is Farrah and I'm 29 years old.
00:36 I do a few things, but I'm mainly a jeweler.
00:39 My main hobby is painting.
00:41 I do commissions, so if someone has an idea for a painting,
00:44 they can come to me and the same with the jewelry.
00:47 I was diagnosed with alopecia areata when I was eight years old.
00:51 Alopecia is an autoimmune disease
00:54 and it just means my immune system attacks the hair follicles,
00:56 which causes hair loss.
00:58 I lost all my hair at 15.
00:59 I started losing my hair when I was about eight years old.
01:03 I don't really remember much.
01:04 I think it was at the back.
01:06 It was only a small amount.
01:07 I only really started to notice and become upset by it
01:12 once I went to secondary school, once the bullying started.
01:15 It was a lot more visible as well.
01:16 So I remember I had two patches the size of my hand,
01:20 either side of my head, and I used to wear a headband.
01:22 My hair loss got worse.
01:24 Headbands weren't working, so then I went to extensions,
01:28 clinging on to the bits of hair I had.
01:30 That didn't last long.
01:32 As my hair loss got worse, it was really scary.
01:36 It was just a constant thing to, like,
01:39 figure out how I was going to cover it and hide it.
01:42 And then at 15, I got my first wig.
01:46 Alopecia ruined my confidence.
01:48 I was a very insecure kid.
01:52 People were, like, scared to be seen talking to me
01:56 because they'd, like, get bullied as well.
01:58 A lot of it was, "Baldie, you're never going to get a boyfriend.
02:02 You're so ugly."
02:03 I'd lock myself in the bathroom, cover the mirrors.
02:07 I couldn't look at myself.
02:08 I've always been into art.
02:11 I didn't know what kind of career I could go down doing that,
02:15 and I kind of wanted to explore the options.
02:18 So Central Saint Martins is where I went,
02:20 and they do, like, a year course where you do everything.
02:24 One week, we did jewellery, and I just fell in love.
02:29 I decided to dedicate my final project at university
02:34 to speaking about my alopecia for the first time
02:36 because I was just done with hiding it.
02:40 I made a collection, and each piece represented
02:43 a physical and emotional stage I went through losing my hair.
02:46 This piece, I randomly had a patch of regrowth,
02:51 and it grew probably, like, that much,
02:53 and it was, like, soft and black, and it was, like, curly,
02:57 and I was just like, "Oh, my God, what is this?
02:59 Is my hair growing back?"
03:00 Because alopecia is so unpredictable.
03:02 It could just start growing back.
03:04 Like, I could wake up tomorrow, and I could have regrowth,
03:07 but it only stayed in this tiny little spot.
03:11 I tied it up in a hairband, cut it off,
03:14 and put it in my jewellery box.
03:16 I think just subconsciously, it meant so much to me,
03:19 but it was also, like, a really cruel experience
03:22 because once I shaved it off, it actually didn't grow back.
03:24 This one was kind of tracing the outline
03:27 of where my hairline would have been.
03:28 These pieces I made out of copper wire,
03:31 and I was looking at Victorian jewellery
03:33 and how they used locks of hair
03:35 from loved ones that had passed away,
03:37 so I got copper wire and spray-painted them black,
03:40 and, yeah, these were the stages of, kind of,
03:43 grief I felt losing my hair.
03:45 It was hard, like, having to relive so much.
03:48 I made the collection.
03:49 I still wasn't going out in public without my wig on,
03:51 and then it came to the exhibition,
03:52 and I remember being, like, to my tutor, like,
03:54 "Oh, I need to find a bald model now,"
03:57 and she was just like, "Farah, what are you talking about?
03:59 You need to do it."
04:00 I was just like, "No way."
04:02 It didn't even cross my mind that I was gonna
04:05 let someone take pictures of me without my wig on.
04:08 It feels extremely vulnerable when you let people
04:11 see you without your wig on.
04:12 I ended up doing it, and that was the first time
04:16 I'd let the world see me basically without my wig on.
04:19 So I stood there with my wig, with my work,
04:21 and then the photos printed out,
04:23 and it was funny 'cause even people on my course
04:25 that I'd been studying with for, like, four years,
04:28 they were like, "Oh, who did you get to model?"
04:29 And I was like, "It's me."
04:31 Over lockdown, I started wearing, like, hats inside,
04:36 and I realised I physically felt more comfortable
04:38 when I wasn't wearing my wig
04:40 'cause I used to sleep with my wig on.
04:41 Like, I never, ever took my wig off.
04:43 I feel so weird seeing myself with a wig on now
04:46 'cause it's been so long since I haven't worn one.
04:48 Like, I'm more used to seeing myself bald
04:50 than I am with a wig on.
04:53 I just needed to learn to be comfortable
04:57 with other people's reactions.
04:59 I think it's only been, like, two years
05:01 since I've actually stopped wearing my wig,
05:03 but I like to think that I'm doing something
05:07 to normalise bald women.
05:08 Over the years, my eyebrows have fallen out,
05:11 and I've tried, like, tattooing, makeup, and all that,
05:14 but I was just never happy with the results.
05:17 And then these eyebrow transfers have just changed my life.
05:21 Since I've stopped wearing my wig,
05:22 my eyebrows and my jewellery have given me that confidence
05:25 to go out without my wig on.
05:26 These were just a great alternative
05:29 'cause they last a few days, they're waterproof.
05:32 I feel more comfortable
05:34 when I have my eyebrow transfers on.
05:35 I made my Instagram, and I started sharing my work.
05:40 It was really cool hearing that my work was resonating
05:44 with other people as well,
05:45 like, educating people on hair loss, basically.
05:48 It sounds really cliche, but I do try and, like,
05:51 be the person I needed to see growing up
05:55 'cause I didn't see anyone else that looked like me.
05:57 I started connecting with other people with alopecia,
05:59 and it all kind of really changed in my mind
06:02 'cause I was making friends with all these bald women,
06:05 and I was, like, hand on heart,
06:07 feeling like they were beautiful.
06:10 One of my best friends who has alopecia as well
06:13 is coming over.
06:15 How did you meet?
06:16 Instagram.
06:16 Instagram, yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:18 It was like a support thing.
06:20 Bonded through that.
06:20 I was saying earlier, it's definitely been
06:22 one of the best things that's come out
06:24 of having alopecia,
06:25 being able to connect with other people that have it too.
06:28 And I was saying that it's, like,
06:29 it's weird, it's like an instant connection
06:33 'cause it's like, you both just get it.
06:35 Yeah, you know exactly how I feel when I discuss,
06:37 like, when I say something, it's like, yeah.
06:40 Totally get it.
06:40 Yeah, yeah.
06:41 I know exactly what's going on.
06:43 It sucks, but it also, it's like, it's a bonding moment.
06:46 I didn't even know there were other people like me out there
06:50 that were dealing with the exact same thing
06:52 to now be friends with someone for this many, like, years,
06:56 and they just totally get me.
06:59 It's like, it's such a beautiful thing.
07:00 You'll understand how I feel, you know,
07:03 whereas if I spoke to this about, you know,
07:05 something alopecia related to, like, my sister
07:07 or another friend,
07:08 they might not get it as well.
07:10 But there are so many misconceptions.
07:12 It's like, you know, are you sick?
07:14 Did you do this to yourself?
07:16 Yeah, I've got that recently.
07:17 People have been like, um,
07:19 how do you shave your head so well?
07:20 And I'm like, you can tell.
07:22 Surely, 'cause you'd have, like, a shadow.
07:26 No, it's a filter.
07:27 I'd have a shadow.
07:27 It's hilarious.
07:31 It's hilarious.
07:32 Chance to go for a walk on the beach?
07:34 Let's do it, guys.
07:34 When people ask me what advice I would give
07:38 to someone else struggling with their alopecia,
07:40 my main thing is always to reach out
07:42 and connect with other people that have it
07:44 because that was a game changer for me.
07:46 Someone said to me once,
07:47 "If everyone in the world looked the same,
07:49 it would be such a boring place."
07:51 Like, it's so beautiful
07:54 that everyone is so unique and different.
07:56 Like, what makes you unique and different
07:59 is such a special and beautiful thing.
08:01 It's cool being different.
08:02 Who wants to look the same as everyone else?
08:04 (laughs)
08:05 (silence)
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