In this episode of Usap Tayo, the Smart Parenting cover stars Kryz Uy and Slater Young get candid about real-life marital issues from the Smart Parenting Village and share their insights.
Catch the highlights here:
00:00 Introduction
00:23 SP Confession number 1: I'm just starting to get my pre-pregnancy body back and uh-oh, I'm pregnant again. Is it normal that I feel a bit sad?
02:06 SP Confession number 2: Okay lang ba mag-tampo if hindi nag-u-update sayo ang partner mo?
04:00 SP Confession number 3: SP Confession number 3: Mom vs. wife, sino ang dapat pakinggan? Parang lahat nalang kasi pinapakailaman.
#UsapTayo #SmartParentingxSkyFam #SlaterYoung #KryzUy
Catch the highlights here:
00:00 Introduction
00:23 SP Confession number 1: I'm just starting to get my pre-pregnancy body back and uh-oh, I'm pregnant again. Is it normal that I feel a bit sad?
02:06 SP Confession number 2: Okay lang ba mag-tampo if hindi nag-u-update sayo ang partner mo?
04:00 SP Confession number 3: SP Confession number 3: Mom vs. wife, sino ang dapat pakinggan? Parang lahat nalang kasi pinapakailaman.
#UsapTayo #SmartParentingxSkyFam #SlaterYoung #KryzUy
Category
🛠️
LifestyleTranscript
00:00 Hi, Smart Parenting fam! I'm Slater. And I'm Kriz, and today we're gonna be reacting to the top FB confessions from our Smart Parenting village.
00:08 All right, confession number one, we have "Walang Name" Anonymous. Okay. I was ready to get my pre-pregnancy body back,
00:24 but this morning I found out that I'm pregnant again! Oh no, K-Horror!
00:30 A blessing, but also, oh my gosh. Is it normal that I'm sad and not happy about it?
00:35 I have three kids and every pregnancy I gain 25 to 30 kilograms.
00:39 And here we go again. I was just starting to be myself again.
00:42 I feel like I'm selfish now because I want to be the first one to do it.
00:46 I can relate, mom. Relate, relate, Camille.
00:49 Especially her. Yeah.
00:51 I mean, it's tough, right? To get your body back. You have to go through so many physical, emotional,
00:55 mental changes when you get pregnant.
00:58 So I personally don't feel like it's selfish for you to feel that way, to feel conflicted because it's not just black and white, right?
01:04 We can be happy about a pregnancy. We can be happy about having another baby.
01:08 But also at the same time, I feel like it's kind of bittersweet because when you get pregnant, you are also losing a side of you also.
01:14 Of course, it's still a blessing. But I wouldn't take it too hard on yourself that you feel conflicted a little.
01:19 It's also part of the process, right? Yeah, and it's not selfish to take care of yourself.
01:23 The more you take care of yourself, you're actually indirectly taking care of everything around you also.
01:29 So yeah,
01:30 they say in the airplane, put on your oxygen mask first before helping others. Oh, yeah.
01:36 Correct. And also,
01:38 take this time to
01:40 go through the motions and feel what you have to feel about this new pregnancy that you have.
01:45 But after that, you can put your feelings aside and then focus on your journey ahead. As in mom of four,
01:50 congratulations because it is indeed a blessing.
01:53 Okay, second question.
01:56 Is it okay to bump into or bump into each other?
01:58 We're both not familiar with Tagalog.
02:00 Tagalog is not our forte, guys.
02:02 Is it okay to bump into each other if your partner hasn't updated you?
02:06 Like, simply, "I'm already on my way home" or "Wait, I'm still with my friends."
02:10 Or how do you explain that you bump into each other in a nice way
02:15 when you're not going to fight?
02:18 I think this is something we talked about before. Yes.
02:20 And something that comes across, we come across in our day-to-day lives because
02:25 I'm always in meetings and he texts me. It takes me like five hours to reply.
02:30 I don't bump into him because I know he's really at work.
02:33 But I told him, "Can you make it so that when I text you, your phone buzzes like crazy?"
02:39 Because I text you only when there's an emergency.
02:41 Yes, he wants special treatment.
02:43 So I want to, you know, when I call you, it's an emergency.
02:45 So pick up the phone. I don't care what meeting you're in.
02:47 Because if it's just a "Where are you?" I'm not going to text you.
02:49 Right? Yeah.
02:51 But in a letter sender, what is it?
02:53 In a letter sender, it's more of, just be straightforward.
02:55 Like, if that's the way you want it,
02:57 when you talk, don't underhand it.
02:59 Oh, Slater hates that. I think guys genuinely don't like that.
03:03 Rech, we're not like that.
03:05 Guys, we're better when the problem is right in front of our faces.
03:09 Not just around us.
03:11 Yeah, they don't understand it the way we girls understand it.
03:13 So it's better to say it straightforward.
03:15 Yeah.
03:17 So we're both on the same page for sure.
03:19 So you can always say like, "Hey, you know what?
03:21 I really feel uneasy when you don't update me.
03:23 Is it okay if you can just text me just when you leave or where you are or when you get home?"
03:27 Like something as simple as that.
03:29 It doesn't have to be an argument right away.
03:31 So there's a conversation around it.
03:33 It's more of like, just a healthy relationship.
03:35 The lines should be open to each other.
03:37 It doesn't have to be like,
03:39 I have to read Chris' mind sometimes
03:45 so I can understand what she wants.
03:47 So it's better to be straightforward.
03:49 Yes, I agree with that.
03:51 Okay, our last letter is,
03:53 "Is it okay if my partner's mother knows about her salary and her 13th month pay?"
03:59 Because we're staying here in their house,
04:03 and her mother is asking about her 13th month salary.
04:05 It's like everyone is asking about it.
04:09 That's tough because it's like mom versus wife.
04:11 You know, we always read a lot of letters on our podcast.
04:15 And a lot of it comes from having two queens in the house.
04:19 Yeah, in-laws.
04:21 Or how to deal with living with your parents.
04:23 It's like one of our angsts right now,
04:27 and especially after the pandemic,
04:29 is that all the friction has come out.
04:33 And I feel like it really is a conversation that needs to be talked about,
04:39 especially when it comes to your parents.
04:41 But you also have to realize that you are living in their roof.
04:47 So they are the king and queen.
04:49 So if you really want to be independent and be on your own,
04:54 of course, let's move out.
04:56 So what would you say, love, if you lived with me and my family,
05:00 and then my parents were like, "How much is Claytor making? How much is love?"
05:04 I would feel awkward.
05:06 Right? It is awkward.
05:07 But what would you do then in that situation?
05:09 Would you sit down and talk to them? Because that would be really awkward.
05:12 No, I would ask you to tell them.
05:15 That it's really awkward.
05:17 Yeah.
05:18 Because it's a lot of pressure coming from me.
05:20 How would I say, "Can you just leave his salary alone? It's none of your business."
05:24 But how do you say that in a nice way to your parents?
05:26 For me, this letter is stemming from not just that one problem.
05:31 It's like this is the straw that broke the camel's back.
05:34 It's like that.
05:35 This is the tipping point.
05:36 It's the catalyst.
05:37 Yes. But there's other things around it.
05:39 Because if it's just one time, it's like, "Oh, that's weird."
05:42 Weird and then move on.
05:43 It doesn't reach the point where you're writing a letter or whatever.
05:48 So we need to address the main issue.
05:50 The core issue, really.
05:52 The core issue there is they are not comfortable with how things are run in the house.
05:58 It doesn't mean that the parents or the children have a problem.
06:03 It's just different families have different cultures.
06:06 Or even within families, we have separate cultures.
06:10 Of course, the generation now is different.
06:12 They grew up in a different generation.
06:14 So this is something that we have to deal with.
06:17 I think the biggest part of it.
06:19 And this was talked about by one of the priests we attended a wedding about.
06:23 He said that it's really hard to have two queens in a house.
06:29 And the biggest thing that you can do for your children would be to have them in a separate place.
06:36 So they don't have to tiptoe.
06:38 We're good at psychoanalysis.
06:40 Yes.
06:41 For example, we already know.
06:42 Unlike sense.
06:43 Don't listen to us.
06:44 Why are you even listening to us?
06:46 Okay, guys. That's it.
06:48 That's our advice.
06:49 For example, we already know.
06:51 Thank you so much for watching.
06:53 For more videos like this, you can go on and subscribe to the Smart Parenting YouTube channel.
06:57 Bye!
07:00 [Smart Parenting]
07:02 [Subscribe now!]
07:04 [BLANK_AUDIO]