'Sister Wives' stars Janelle and Christine open up about their polygamous marriage falling apart and how they're rebuilding their lives: "[We're] excited for this next chapter"
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00:00 - I don't know how to explain the term, but it is.
00:02 Like, she's not my sister.
00:04 - There's a bond that happened
00:05 when we raised our kids together.
00:06 - I think so.
00:07 - And we chose to do things together
00:09 because we were a family
00:11 and because we had these kids together.
00:12 But now we're choosing to do things with each other
00:16 'cause we like the other person.
00:17 - Growing up, I did not even know
00:22 that people still lived polygamy.
00:24 I mean, I belong to the LDS Church
00:25 and in the history of the LDS Church,
00:27 there was polygamy and it was always discussed at church,
00:30 but it's something that was not done anymore.
00:33 And I remember my grandmother, 'cause she taught school,
00:37 and so she would have polygamous kids come through
00:39 periodically through her classroom.
00:43 I remember her saying, "Well, they're in the clan."
00:45 And I'm like, "What is the clan?
00:47 I didn't know what the clan was."
00:49 And she's like, "Oh, they're polygamous."
00:50 I'm like, "I was floored.
00:52 I can still remember the moments I was floored
00:54 that people still lived polygamy."
00:55 I was like, "What?
00:56 People still live polygamy?"
00:57 So it was not even on my radar.
00:59 - I was floored when I found out
01:01 that I lived polygamy my whole life.
01:04 I was floored that there were Mormons
01:05 that didn't live polygamy.
01:07 - Oh, really?
01:07 - Yeah. - Oh, wow.
01:09 - Like, what?
01:10 - This is Janelle.
01:11 We don't really use an order,
01:13 but if you're questioning the order
01:15 of how family came together, she's number two.
01:19 - I went in with such ideas
01:20 about how I feel like plural marriage was gonna be,
01:23 and it was really hard.
01:25 It was really hard.
01:26 Mary and I's personalities are very different.
01:28 We clashed on everything.
01:30 There was a lot of jealousy, a lot of, I don't know,
01:34 it was just really hard.
01:35 So those first few years, Cody and I were amazing.
01:38 So like when it was just us,
01:40 we just kind of existed in this little bubble,
01:42 but the whole family dynamic was really tough.
01:46 Cody and I always had a pretty good relationship,
01:49 but we definitely had two or three periods
01:52 where I just wasn't,
01:55 we really had a, I don't know,
01:59 I don't even know how to explain it.
02:00 - You went butt heads sometimes pretty severely.
02:02 - Oh, yeah, and so then what would happen is--
02:04 - You'd separate for a little bit.
02:05 - Like I'd stay behind.
02:06 There was one time when everybody moved to Utah
02:09 and I wasn't sure I was going to come.
02:11 So I thought about staying.
02:12 I did stay behind for quite a while.
02:14 I know you said you were afraid I wasn't gonna come.
02:16 - Yeah, super concerned.
02:17 - We would separate for a period of time
02:19 and then whatever, and we'd get it,
02:21 we'd figure it out. - Figure it out.
02:22 - Because for the sake of the kids, right?
02:23 I had to consider all these children that I had
02:26 and I wasn't gonna take them away from that stability.
02:29 - You're acting like you're not even culpable
02:31 in this situation.
02:32 - Culpable for what?
02:34 What?
02:35 - Culpable for not having any respect for me
02:39 about the COVID rules.
02:41 - Cody, you were asking me to choose
02:42 between my children and you.
02:44 When COVID came, he really got funny
02:48 about the rules to follow.
02:50 - He had so many rules.
02:51 - And they were very strict.
02:52 Cody, I was doing what I could.
02:53 I was walking a line between my adult children
02:56 and you and everybody else.
02:58 I was following all the CDC guidelines.
03:01 It was really hard for my household to observe that level
03:03 just because of my children are adults.
03:07 So that really started to like,
03:10 really started to twist us,
03:12 twist our relationship to the point of breaking.
03:15 And so he started to be away more
03:18 and I thought, wow, you know, I could do this.
03:21 I could be on my own.
03:23 I could do this.
03:24 And then we had this really big fight,
03:26 like the biggest fight we probably have ever had.
03:28 And after he left, I was like, I felt relieved.
03:31 There was like this emotional shock a little bit
03:33 and then I was relieved.
03:35 And I thought, I can remember,
03:36 I was sitting in the parking lot of a store.
03:37 I'd run to an errand and I thought,
03:39 wow, I just felt this burden come off me.
03:41 And I thought, wow, wow, okay.
03:45 I guess, I guess this is what we're gonna do.
03:47 We're gonna be apart.
03:49 - You and I have intimacy and love in the relationship.
03:54 I'm sorry it's conditional based upon
03:58 being part of a plural family.
04:01 - A couple of times a year doesn't work for a marriage.
04:04 - I was always wanting more of a romantic relationship,
04:07 more of a romantic partner, more,
04:09 I was definitely more of a, like,
04:12 I had more emotional needs
04:13 that weren't being met for me.
04:16 Whereas you were so independent and so strong
04:19 and you knew who you were,
04:21 you knew your value to yourself
04:23 and you didn't need the kind of relationship that I had.
04:26 It was more for you, how it was with your kids at first.
04:29 - I need to make a choice to have joy in my life and peace.
04:34 And there hasn't been a lot of hope at all
04:40 until I decided to leave.
04:41 I feel strongly this is the best choice for me.
04:46 - When I left, I'll never forget
04:48 how you came over the next day.
04:50 Like when I told all of you guys that I needed to leave,
04:53 you came over the next day and you talked to me about it
04:55 and you're like, "Really?
04:56 Does this mean it's like over?"
04:57 And I'm like, "Yeah, I'm moving and everything."
05:00 And you're like, "Okay, then what does it look like next?"
05:05 And I'm realizing, I'm like,
05:06 "I don't know if I can be a sister.
05:07 I don't know if I can understand that word.
05:09 I don't know, I don't know what anything looks like."
05:12 And then I moved and the next time I saw you,
05:15 I was like, "Oh, there's my sister wife, Janelle."
05:18 You were always so supportive.
05:21 Even when I was struggling in the marriage,
05:23 you were supportive.
05:23 And then when I left, you were supportive,
05:25 even though you knew it meant the change of everything.
05:29 You were still supportive 'cause it just wasn't working
05:32 and you continue to be supportive.
05:33 Thank you for being one of my best friends, Janelle.
05:36 - Thank you.
05:38 - And just to new beginnings, right?
05:40 - New beginnings. - To new beginnings.
05:41 - New beginnings.
05:42 - We've actually been doing a lot more together
05:44 and it's been really fun.
05:45 Do you know what I mean?
05:47 And I've called Christine several times
05:48 when I've been like, "Well..."
05:51 When I needed her to give me some emotional perspective
05:54 on something that was happening either with Cody
05:57 or the kids or just anything,
05:58 she's the only one who really gets what I'm going through.
06:01 - And I really knew who you were married to.
06:03 I'm just saying, I really, really knew him.
06:05 So it was a different perspective.
06:06 - Yeah, it was a valuable perspective, for sure.
06:09 - Because we never were legally married,
06:12 I can't really say I'm divorced.
06:13 I just say I'm no longer with...
06:16 When I explain it to outside people,
06:17 I'm like, "I'm no longer with my partner."
06:19 I don't know. - Really?
06:20 - What do you say?
06:21 - Oh, I say I'm straight, I'm divorced.
06:23 I love that title.
06:24 I love saying I'm divorced.
06:28 I love it.
06:28 - I don't know, I guess I've always just been like,
06:30 "My partner and I split up."
06:32 Or sometimes I'll say... - You're just single?
06:33 - Divorce, I'm single.
06:34 - Are you single and ready to mingle?
06:36 - Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no dating.
06:39 No, no.
06:40 Maybe in 10 years, we'll see.
06:42 I would actually consider a plural marriage
06:44 because I really do love the freedom
06:46 and the independence that it gave me.
06:48 And I think it was a good fit for me.
06:51 I don't even know what it would be like
06:52 to be married in a monogamous relationship.
06:54 I mean, if that's what works out, great.
06:57 But, so I'm open to plural marriage,
06:59 but I don't know if there's really a lot of men
07:02 who can actually pull it off.
07:04 (gentle music)
07:06 I'm engaged, David, he's a really great guy.
07:10 I really like him a lot.
07:11 I really like him, I just love him to pieces.
07:13 He's really, really just the best guy I know,
07:16 by far, he's amazing.
07:17 We started talking in October last year.
07:21 I met him online through like a dating site
07:24 and I messaged him first and then he responded.
07:28 And I just got to know him and then I'm like,
07:30 "We just need to meet in person."
07:32 And we did and the date went great
07:35 and we just clicked really, really well.
07:37 And then on our second date,
07:39 I realized that we actually had something really special.
07:41 He has a lot of kids and I was so worried
07:43 about coming with all of my history of everything
07:47 and us and all of our kids together.
07:50 And when I told him, I'm like,
07:53 "I have a lot of kids and I have a sister wife
07:55 and everywhere I go, Janelle has to come with me
07:57 and all of her children come with me too.
07:58 There's not just me."
08:00 And he's like, "Okay." He knew about plugging me enough.
08:03 He understood it and we just clicked and it was easy.
08:08 He gets me so well and he understands
08:11 and he doesn't care about all the extra stuff
08:13 that comes with me because it's a lot,
08:16 I'm fairly complicated.
08:17 And, but me as a person, I guess that's what it is,
08:19 is as a person and when it's just the two of us,
08:23 it's simple, it's really simple.
08:25 It's a simple, simple life.
08:26 And I didn't know I could have a simple life with somebody.
08:30 I'm extremely proud of Janelle.
08:33 I would be proud of Janelle if she stayed with Cody too,
08:37 just because the choices that she makes
08:38 are right for her, 100%.
08:40 And so whether she stayed with Cody, whether she left Cody,
08:44 I never, I didn't care.
08:45 I just wanted to see her happy
08:47 and living whatever life she chose for herself.
08:50 I mean, on the outside.
08:52 On the inside, I was always like,
08:54 "Girl, there's a whole freaking world out there
08:58 that we knew nothing about."
09:00 - For me, at this point in my life,
09:03 because my marriage is over
09:04 and I'm no longer part of a plural family,
09:07 it means like I have infinite ability
09:10 to choose what my next chapter looks like,
09:13 to redefine myself, recreate myself,
09:16 transform into whatever I wanna be.
09:17 And it's not gonna be that much different than who I am.
09:19 Let's be real, I don't, I like myself,
09:21 you know what I mean?
09:22 But I have so many opportunities now, huge opportunities.
09:26 So I'm excited for this next chapter.
09:28 (whooshing)
09:31 [BLANK_AUDIO]