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Transcript
00:00 - Hello citizens of the Reject Nation,
00:02 it's me Tara Erickson alongside, what is your name again?
00:05 - Greg.
00:06 - Oh God, what's the last name though?
00:09 It's Alba.
00:09 Albertsons, that's all I gotta think of today.
00:13 We are watching the SpongeBob movie.
00:15 Have you seen it?
00:16 - Of course not, I haven't even seen the show.
00:18 - Me neither, same page in it.
00:21 - Oh weird.
00:21 - We're same.
00:22 - I wonder if it's gonna drastically affect
00:25 our viewing experience.
00:27 - We're both just sitting here silently not laughing.
00:29 I don't get any of this.
00:30 - Is this gonna be all inside jokes that we don't get?
00:33 - I think it's gonna be a fun experience.
00:35 I mean if they make a movie,
00:36 they gotta make it somewhat adjustable
00:38 for those who haven't seen the show, right?
00:39 - All right, well we're diving in you guys.
00:41 So please don't forget to leave a like and a comment
00:44 and also ring the bell, ring the bell
00:49 when you subscribe 'cause you definitely can subscribe.
00:52 And don't forget that if you guys are a Patreon on Patreon,
00:56 you get to watch a full length reaction
00:58 and watch along with us, with me and Gray.
01:00 Like we watch the whole thing,
01:01 you sit there and you're like wow,
01:03 it's like you're watching at home with us.
01:05 It's a cool experience.
01:06 So get on top of that if you're not already a Patreon.
01:09 And now I say super sexy something.
01:12 - Oh, you were so perfect up until the, so perfect.
01:16 - Dude, we have to--
01:17 - I was like, every time someone's handed the intro,
01:20 they're always butchering it,
01:21 I'm like, "Taryn's doing better than everyone."
01:23 Oh no.
01:24 Let's just roll the real reject intro.
01:27 - Roll it, roll it, roll the clip.
01:29 (upbeat music)
01:31 (siren blaring)
01:36 - What?
01:39 - Are you confused by the seagulls, Greg?
01:41 What was the what?
01:42 - No, I thought it was like an animated movie.
01:45 (laughing)
01:46 - Stingy on the port bow!
01:48 - Stingy on the port bow!
01:50 - Gotta love me some pirates.
01:51 - Stingy on the port bow!
01:54 (screaming)
01:57 (screaming)
01:59 - Gold.
02:01 - I never thought I'd see it with my own eyes.
02:04 (upbeat music)
02:05 - Tickets to the SpongeBob movie!
02:08 - Oh.
02:09 I was actually really invested in that intro.
02:11 - It's probably really effective at a movie theater.
02:14 ♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea ♪
02:16 - Oh, all right.
02:17 - SpongeBob Squarepants.
02:18 ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous as sea ♪
02:20 - And it sounds different in the show.
02:22 (laughing)
02:24 (screaming)
02:27 - Go to the theaters, you freaks.
02:29 (screaming)
02:32 - Yes.
02:34 - Good thing no one sat on those front two rows.
02:37 - Yeah, those are the worst rows to sit in.
02:39 Back row is where it's at.
02:40 Aisle seat.
02:41 - A story begins in Bikini Bottom's popular undersea eatery,
02:45 the Krusty Krab restaurant.
02:47 - Krusty Krab.
02:49 (screeching)
02:51 (screaming)
02:52 - Knock me, Pat.
02:53 (laughing)
02:55 (laughing)
02:59 - Get a hold of yourself, Eugene.
03:03 I'm going in.
03:04 I'm the manager of this establishment.
03:07 Everything's gonna be just fine.
03:09 - I'm really scared here, man.
03:11 - You got a name?
03:12 (laughing)
03:13 - Phil.
03:14 - You got a family, Phil?
03:15 I want you to do me a favor, Phil.
03:17 Say cheese.
03:18 (upbeat music)
03:20 (laughing)
03:22 - Oh my God, that's so dumb.
03:23 I love it.
03:24 (upbeat music)
03:27 - Order up.
03:28 (screaming)
03:29 (laughing)
03:31 - Drink cheers for the manager.
03:34 (upbeat music)
03:36 - It was all a dream.
03:40 - Today's the grand opening ceremony
03:42 for the Krusty Krab 2,
03:44 where Mr. Krabs will announce the new manager.
03:47 - This is not gonna go the way you want.
03:49 (laughing)
03:50 - Well, let's ask my wall of 374 consecutive
03:54 employee of a month award.
03:55 - Nice.
03:56 (upbeat music)
03:59 - Big bathroom.
04:00 I want that bathroom.
04:02 Oh, okay.
04:03 All right.
04:05 (upbeat music)
04:08 - It's actually pretty inventive.
04:11 - Yeah, I support that.
04:12 (upbeat music)
04:14 (laughing)
04:15 - No, that's awesome.
04:17 (upbeat music)
04:19 (laughing)
04:20 (upbeat music)
04:23 - It's scary, we got a double.
04:25 (laughing)
04:28 - Oh my gosh.
04:29 - This reminds me of like Mr. Bean.
04:32 (upbeat music)
04:34 - That's me in the shower.
04:35 (upbeat music)
04:38 - That's Greg and John in the shower.
04:42 (laughing)
04:43 - I just wanted to say,
04:44 I'll be thanking you in my managerial acceptance speech today.
04:47 (screaming)
04:50 (laughing)
04:50 - Tonight after my big promotion,
04:52 we're gonna party till we're purple.
04:54 - I love being purple.
04:56 (laughing)
04:58 - Goofy Goober's Ice Cream Party Ball.
05:02 - This is so hyper.
05:05 - Oh, I'm a goofy goober, yeah.
05:09 You're a goofy goober, yeah.
05:11 - Hey, look who made the ceremony.
05:12 I got a little surprise for you.
05:16 - Please tell me there's goofy goober ice cream somewhere.
05:19 - Krusty Krab restaurant,
05:20 for years the only place to get a delicious
05:23 and mouthwatering Krabby Patty.
05:25 - That is a great animated looking burger.
05:28 - Long time owner, Mr. Krabs,
05:30 is opening a new restaurant called the Krusty Krab 2.
05:34 (laughing)
05:35 - Exactly the same.
05:36 - Oh my God, right next door.
05:38 - Hello, I like money.
05:40 - What inspired you to build a second Krusty Krab
05:43 right next door to the original?
05:45 - Money.
05:46 - Capitalism.
05:47 - Krabs is being interviewed by Perch Perkins
05:50 and I've never even had one customer.
05:53 Customer, customer.
05:55 - Well, it might just be the marketing buddy.
05:57 - I just mapped the floors.
05:59 - Oh Karen, my computer wife.
06:02 (laughing)
06:03 - The secret to Krab's success,
06:05 the formula for the Krabby Patty.
06:07 Then people would line up to eat at my restaurant.
06:10 - There are some high stakes here.
06:12 - I've exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet.
06:16 From A to Y.
06:17 - The letter after Y.
06:19 - Plan Z.
06:20 - Oh, oh, oh.
06:23 (laughing)
06:28 - It's diabolical.
06:29 - Oh my gosh.
06:31 - It's lemon scented.
06:32 - That was clever.
06:33 - And I will rule the world.
06:38 - All hail Biden.
06:39 - All hail Biden.
06:41 (laughing)
06:44 (screaming)
06:46 - I think I stepped in something.
06:48 (screaming)
06:48 (laughing)
06:50 - No.
06:52 - Before we begin with the ribbon cutting,
06:54 I'd like to announce the name of our new manager.
06:57 - Yeah, now we're talking, yeah.
06:59 (screaming)
07:00 - Who's it gonna be?
07:01 - Is it gonna be the squid?
07:03 - The name you all know, it starts with an S.
07:06 - That's me.
07:07 - Please welcome our new manager, Squidward Tentacles.
07:11 - Oh, I knew it.
07:13 - Yeah!
07:15 - Better luck next time, buddy.
07:19 (laughing)
07:21 - That's like that Oscar upset with La La Land.
07:23 - This is like Zoolander.
07:25 - You didn't get the job.
07:27 - What?
07:27 - Why?
07:28 You want employee of the month like all the time.
07:30 - 365 days, a million times.
07:34 - He's more mature than you.
07:36 - I'm not mature?
07:38 - I mean this in the nicest of ways.
07:40 - Character arc coming in.
07:41 - But there's a word for what you are,
07:43 and that word is, uh.
07:45 - Ding-a-ling.
07:46 - Lang-nut.
07:46 - And knucklehead McSpazitron.
07:48 - Ah, McSpazitron.
07:50 - And to be a manager, you have to be a man, you understand?
07:55 - I guess so, Mr. Krabs.
07:57 - Just open up your own burger joint.
08:00 - But is he mature enough to do that?
08:02 - SpongeBob!
08:03 SpongeBob!
08:10 - There's adult humor in this.
08:11 - Poor squid didn't get a party.
08:14 - I get the world, yeah.
08:17 I get the world.
08:18 I don't need to watch a whole show.
08:19 - Multiple seasons.
08:21 - Yeah.
08:22 - Ah.
08:32 Oh my goodness.
08:36 - 20 years in the dungeon it is.
08:38 - You're free to go.
08:39 - Bless you, Princess Mindy.
08:43 - What a good princess.
08:45 - I wish you'd try a little love and compassion
08:46 instead of these harsh punishments.
08:48 - Yes.
08:49 - That would be nice.
08:50 - Square!
08:51 - The draconian way of rule is not the way to go.
08:54 - This crown entitles the one who wears it
08:56 to be in charge of the sea.
08:57 (laughing)
08:59 Wear it until you learn how to rule
09:01 with an iron fist, like your father.
09:04 (laughing)
09:06 - Your crown?
09:08 - What the?
09:10 - Oh, that's no good.
09:14 You cannot rule a sea without a crown.
09:16 - But the crown is useless without a king.
09:18 - I don't know.
09:19 I feel like the crown does it all.
09:21 - There's goofy goobers.
09:22 - Goofy goobers.
09:23 I want to go to here.
09:25 This place looks amazing.
09:27 - Oh, I'm a goofy goober, yeah.
09:30 - Oh my God, that's disturbing.
09:36 - The nut bar.
09:37 - The nut bar.
09:38 - Get it together, old boy.
09:40 I know, I'll just stop thinking about it.
09:43 - That's called denial.
09:44 - I actually feel a little better.
09:46 I don't even remember why I was sad.
09:48 - Hey, it's the new Krusty Krab 2 manager.
09:52 - You didn't get the memo?
09:54 - No, he just set the place on fire
09:56 and ran away asking if they saw his butt.
10:05 - Me with most desserts.
10:07 - I'm feeling better already.
10:09 - Well, let's get another round over here.
10:11 - Oh no.
10:12 - This is too much.
10:15 - Two more, please.
10:17 - I was not prepared for how kinetic this would be.
10:23 - Get up.
10:25 - Hey, come on, buddy.
10:26 I want to go home.
10:27 Come on, pal.
10:28 - Oh no.
10:29 - Oh my goodness.
10:30 - Oh, whoa.
10:30 - Oh, whoa.
10:32 - Does he also have pink eyes?
10:33 - He looks like so hungover.
10:35 - Go scrape up your friend and get going.
10:37 - You said eight o'clock.
10:42 I'm late for work.
10:44 - Does your work that doesn't respect you?
10:46 - I'm Eugene Krabs, your highness.
10:48 - You have stolen the royal crown, you cannot deny.
10:51 - Are you left one damning piece of evidence at the scene?
10:54 - I stole your crown.
10:55 - Uh-huh.
10:57 - Hi, Mr. Krabs, this is Clay.
10:59 The guy you sold Neptune's crown to?
11:01 I sold it to--
11:02 - Uh-huh.
11:04 - Oh man.
11:05 - That was the master plan.
11:13 - Before I turn this conniving crustacean into fish meal,
11:16 who here has anything to say about Eugene Krabs?
11:20 - I've got something.
11:22 - Oh no.
11:23 - I love this.
11:24 Oh my God, yes.
11:26 - Please, the kingdom to all of you.
11:29 I have worked for Mr. Krabs for many--
11:34 I now realize that he's a great big jerk.
11:38 I deserve that manager's job.
11:41 - Anyone else?
11:44 No?
11:45 Well then.
11:46 - You gotta have an alibi, man.
11:49 How could you not have an alibi?
11:50 - Everywhere's on fire.
11:52 I'm on fire.
11:53 And now, Eugene Krabs, you will die.
11:59 - Hey, he sobered up.
12:02 - Very quickly.
12:04 - My crown is a symbol of my king-like authority.
12:07 And between you and me, my hair is thinning a bit.
12:10 - I'm sure it's not that noticeable.
12:12 (laughing)
12:14 - Father, father!
12:16 (laughing)
12:18 - Oh my God.
12:19 - This is so wild.
12:23 - But I meant to get your crown back.
12:24 - No one who's gone to Shell City has ever returned.
12:28 You're just a kid.
12:30 - He's a sponge.
12:31 - He's willing to risk his life to find your crown
12:33 and save his boss.
12:35 - But daughter, I--
12:36 - Please, father.
12:37 - Oh my God, that's Scarlett Johansson's voice.
12:39 It took me that long to figure it out.
12:41 - Be back here with my crown in exactly 10 days.
12:44 - You can do it in nine, eight, seven, six.
12:48 - What are you doing?
12:49 - Until then, the Krabs shall remain frozen
12:52 where he now stands.
12:53 - No, wait, I haven't pegged yet.
12:55 (flames roaring)
12:57 - Who turned on the AC?
12:59 - Mr. Krabs!
13:00 - Ugh.
13:01 - You didn't hear any of this?
13:03 - There's a giant cyclops who guards the outskirts
13:05 of the city and preys on innocent sea creatures.
13:07 Don't let him catch you because if he does,
13:09 I'll take you back to his lair.
13:11 - Oh my gosh, he's so excited.
13:14 - Take this.
13:15 - What's in here?
13:16 (flames roaring)
13:17 - It's a magical bag of winds.
13:19 - You're hot.
13:20 - Ugh.
13:21 - Open the bag of winds and you'll be blown back home.
13:24 - Mindy!
13:25 - I'm coming.
13:26 - There is such a frenetic energy about this.
13:28 - You've got nothing to worry about.
13:30 Your life is in our hands.
13:32 (magical music)
13:34 (laughing)
13:36 - I love how hardcore reliant on visual comedy it is.
13:40 It's really, really impressive.
13:42 (upbeat music)
13:45 Like the comedy so much of the editing too.
13:49 - Oh yeah, it's great.
13:50 They do a really good job with pacing in this movie.
13:53 Oh no, that's amazing.
13:56 What a paddy wagon.
13:58 - Steel velvet pickles.
13:59 - Yes.
14:00 - Real leather interior.
14:01 And under the hood, a fuel injected French fryer
14:04 with dual overhead grease traps.
14:06 - Oh my God.
14:07 - If you could get an air fryer.
14:08 - This should be a real car.
14:09 - This should be a real car.
14:10 That'd be great advertising.
14:11 - Yeah, like what?
14:12 (upbeat music)
14:13 - Well, I like to hang around,
14:15 but I've got crabby patties to make.
14:17 Over at the Chum Bucket.
14:19 - Oh.
14:20 - I will say that the Chum Bucket is very dirty
14:22 and I wouldn't eat a sandwich there.
14:25 - He's such a diabolical genius.
14:26 Why is he trying to run a restaurant?
14:28 - Yeah, he should be like stealing creatures under the sea
14:31 and like stashing them in the Chum Bucket.
14:33 - Do I need to watch a whole show to understand?
14:35 - We're off to get King Neptune's crown in Shell City.
14:38 - Lloyd, take off your hat in respect.
14:41 - Respect for the dead.
14:42 (car honking)
14:43 (laughing)
14:46 - This ain't gonna last 10 seconds over the county line.
14:51 - Oh yeah?
14:52 We'll see about that.
14:53 (car engine revving)
14:55 - Get out of the car, fellas.
14:56 - Uh oh.
14:58 - Oh no.
14:58 - They barely had it.
15:00 - Such a cool patty wagon.
15:02 Oh wow.
15:04 Oh, he cleaned it up at least.
15:07 - Music is a nice touch.
15:18 - It's just a bucket.
15:26 - My sensors indicate that they're going after the crown.
15:28 - I've already hired someone to take care of those two.
15:31 - Dennis. - Dennis.
15:34 - I'll kill you.
15:36 I'll kill you, fool.
15:38 - Evidence.
15:42 (laughing)
15:44 - Does that shit take 10 gallons?
15:48 (screaming)
15:50 (glass shattering)
15:54 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's violent.
15:56 - Do they never talk again?
15:58 Oh, that's no good.
15:59 Oh my goodness.
16:02 This is like Reese Witherspoon in that one movie
16:10 where she has to hike a lot.
16:11 Oh.
16:18 - Spongebob, look, our car.
16:20 - These cutaways, man, they're really good at editing.
16:28 - I get HP Lovecraft vibes.
16:35 - Beat him in pool.
16:36 - I have to use the bathroom.
16:42 - Right over there.
16:43 - Take this, stupid contact.
16:47 - Oh my goodness, it's a face.
16:50 - Patrick, check it out.
16:52 - Whoa.
16:53 - Bubble party.
16:55 - You should be getting keys and driving,
17:00 but you know what, I support this bubble party.
17:02 It looks like a lot of fun.
17:04 - They're trying to say they're just kids,
17:05 but I'm pretty sure they suffer with attention deficit
17:08 hyperactive disorder, right?
17:10 - Yes.
17:11 - Who blew this bubble?
17:13 You all know the rules.
17:15 - All the blowing babies will be beaten senseless
17:18 by every able-bodied man in the bar.
17:20 - Oh my God.
17:22 - No.
17:23 - Time for the test.
17:25 No baby can resist singing along to this.
17:29 - Patrick.
17:30 - Don't do it.
17:31 Don't sing to it.
17:33 - DJ, turn it up louder.
17:35 (laughing)
17:38 - Don't sing along.
17:40 - Oh, that's so great.
17:42 - I'm a goofy goober, yeah.
17:45 You're a good goober, yeah.
17:48 (laughing)
17:52 - Oh man.
17:54 - Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah.
17:59 - What?
18:00 - Oh, saved by the Siamese twins.
18:02 - Looks like we got ourselves a double baby.
18:08 - Oh man.
18:09 - Oh man.
18:10 - You can't survive that.
18:12 - What is the commentary on beating up Siamese people
18:17 that they're doing here?
18:19 But at least they got the key.
18:20 - Well, I got it at the chum bucket.
18:21 Plankton's giving them away free with every Krabby Patty.
18:24 - Is there some type of mind control thing?
18:26 - You may have hoodwinked everyone else
18:28 in this backwater town, but you can't fool me.
18:31 I listen to public radio.
18:33 - He's an NPR guy.
18:36 - You set up Mr. Krabs.
18:38 You stole the crown so Neptune would freeze him
18:40 and you could finally get your stubby little paws
18:42 on the Krabby Patty formula.
18:44 - Ah, he gotcha.
18:46 - But you made one fatal mistake.
18:50 You messed with my paycheck.
18:52 (laughing)
18:55 - Now activating helmet brain control.
18:58 - Oh, you called it.
18:59 - Yes.
19:00 - Okay.
19:03 All right, chum bucket.
19:06 - I have to really rely on everyone
19:08 really obsessively wearing these.
19:09 - Yeah, like do they not take them off?
19:12 What?
19:13 Okay.
19:14 Whoa.
19:16 - How do they see?
19:22 - There's no way out.
19:24 - The world's getting kind of bumpy here.
19:31 - Hey look, free ice cream.
19:35 - Boy.
19:36 - It's a setup.
19:38 It's a trap.
19:39 - Wait a minute.
19:42 SpongeBob.
19:42 - Yeah?
19:45 - Make mine a chocolate.
19:46 (laughing)
19:49 - Okay Patrick, let's,
19:50 oh, you can let go now.
19:52 I said let go please.
19:53 - Oh.
19:56 What?
20:00 - What kind of old lady are you?
20:04 (screaming)
20:06 - Are they in a mouth or something?
20:07 - Whoa.
20:08 Whoa.
20:10 Holy junk.
20:12 - Teeth can't be that sharp there.
20:32 - Nope, he just blew a bubble, so.
20:35 - Wow, one punch.
20:41 - That's pretty far.
20:45 Ooh, right in the tuck, boat.
20:46 - Titanic style.
20:47 - No more boat.
20:49 Okay.
20:50 - Oh, wow.
21:00 - Circle of life.
21:01 - Horrors of the trenches.
21:04 - This is where we find out if they can swim.
21:10 - Oh boy.
21:11 - Ooh.
21:15 - The stairs talk.
21:30 - But you're gonna die either way.
21:32 - Show us your man and go down in that scary trench.
21:36 - I knew it.
21:41 - Oh, Mindy is her name.
21:43 - Oh, Patrick, no.
21:49 - What is this, a magic mirror?
21:59 - This monument celebrating my glory,
22:01 is it gonna build itself?
22:03 Move faster.
22:05 - Anarchy.
22:06 - Squidward, Sandy, Mrs. Puff.
22:09 - Oh no.
22:11 - Even Gary.
22:13 - Aw.
22:16 - Aw.
22:17 - But we're just, hey, it doesn't matter if you're kids.
22:19 And what's so wrong with being a kid anyway?
22:21 Kids rule.
22:22 - Yeah, I mean, kind of.
22:24 - I mean, keeping that child-like in you
22:26 is the thing that sparks imagination and creativity.
22:31 - Oh.
22:36 - Ew.
22:37 - No, why?
22:38 Why?
22:40 - Good old reverse psychology.
22:46 - But because they're so child-like,
22:53 they'll be able to convince themselves that it works.
22:56 - Creatively.
22:57 - Yeah, they're susceptible to it.
22:59 - I'm with you on that.
23:00 They're very malleable.
23:01 - I command the two of you to turn into men.
23:04 - I don't feel any, oh my gosh, Patrick, you have a mustache.
23:09 - So now that you're men, can you make it to Shell City?
23:12 (growling)
23:14 - Oh no.
23:15 - Oh, I don't think it's working
23:17 as well as she thought it would.
23:19 - We're invincible.
23:22 (screaming)
23:23 - I never said that.
23:25 (screaming)
23:27 - Why did we jump over the edge
23:31 instead of taking the stairs?
23:33 - 'Cause we're invincible.
23:37 - Ah.
23:37 - Oh, good.
23:40 - Nice.
23:41 - Men land.
23:43 - We're safe and sound at the bottom of this trench.
23:46 (screaming)
23:49 - Consistent visual gags, man.
23:51 ♪ Now that we're men, we can do anything ♪
23:55 ♪ Now that we're men ♪
23:58 ♪ We never had a chance when we were kids ♪
24:00 ♪ No, no, no ♪
24:01 ♪ But take a look at what the mermaid did ♪
24:05 - You know what, this feels psychedelic.
24:06 - Yeah, I was like, do people get high
24:09 and then watch SpongeBob?
24:09 - Yeah, this feels very trippy.
24:11 ♪ We can't bother them, not the men ♪
24:16 ♪ They have become our friend ♪
24:19 ♪ They'll pass the test and finish the quest ♪
24:23 ♪ They'll pass the test ♪
24:24 - Oh my gosh, they have an army now.
24:27 - We made it past everything,
24:30 even the hideous, disgusting monsters.
24:33 - Oh, you lost your army 'cause you were a meanie.
24:37 - Are they sure the crown's in Shell City?
24:39 Could've just been a mislead.
24:40 - I've been hired to exterminate you.
24:43 - Got me and my friend here in a good mood today,
24:45 so I'm gonna let you off with a warning.
24:49 - Awesome wrath of our mustaches.
24:51 - You mean these?
24:53 - Oh no, Dennis is a dream crusher, man.
24:58 - Plankton was very specific.
25:01 For some reason, he wanted me to step on you.
25:03 - That way you'll never find out that he stole the crown.
25:07 - Wow, this guy's revealing everything.
25:09 - Perhaps I've said too much.
25:10 - You sure have, Dennis.
25:12 He's so sharp.
25:15 Kinda cool boots, I'd be into wearing those.
25:17 - I love this job.
25:19 (laughing)
25:21 - Bigger boot.
25:22 (laughing)
25:23 (cyclops roaring)
25:25 - Whoa.
25:25 - It's a cyclops.
25:27 (cyclops roaring)
25:29 (laughing)
25:30 - That's clever. - Awesome.
25:31 - That's really clever.
25:32 - That's cool. - For cyclops
25:33 to come around like that.
25:34 (cyclops roaring)
25:37 - What?
25:41 Where does he take these?
25:43 - Why does he want them?
25:44 - Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
25:45 Is he gonna do like a science experiment?
25:47 He's a marine biologist.
25:49 - He's not hooked up to anything.
25:51 How does he get back to the surface?
25:52 - Great question.
25:53 - Artificially colored rocks?
25:55 - Oh no, they're in a tank.
25:59 - Get some fish folk.
26:00 Hey! - Hey!
26:01 - Over here! - Hey, you guys!
26:03 - You guys! - Hey!
26:04 - You're not gonna like what you see, buddy.
26:06 (dramatic music)
26:07 Yup, yup.
26:09 - Those fish are dead.
26:11 - Dead.
26:12 - He's still in his helmet. - He's still in his helmet.
26:17 (man screaming)
26:17 - Yeah, man, aren't you on...
26:19 Isn't it kind of hard to breathe in that helmet?
26:22 - Oh, googly eyes?
26:27 - He's kind of a freak. - Okay, he's a full-on
26:33 sociopath.
26:34 - You think so?
26:36 - Oh!
26:36 Oh no, oh no.
26:40 - The heat is so intense from this lamp.
26:44 - Tell me about it.
26:46 - There's like some weird body horror stuff in this.
26:48 - I don't even think we're gonna be able
26:50 to save ourselves, buddy.
26:53 - Oh.
26:53 - This is disturbing.
26:55 - At least they die together.
26:56 - Shell City.
26:58 - We never made it to Shell City.
27:00 - Shell City.
27:01 (woman grunting)
27:03 Marine gifts and sundries.
27:07 - Shell City is a gift shop, but if this is Shell City...
27:12 - Then where's the crown?
27:13 (woman giggling)
27:15 - Cool.
27:16 - Wow, probably seven bucks?
27:19 All right.
27:20 - We did make it.
27:21 - Yeah, I guess we did.
27:24 - This is horrifying.
27:25 - Oh boy.
27:29 - The tears can loosen them up.
27:30 - Oh, yeah.
27:34 (man singing)
27:36 - Oh my gosh, the music.
27:42 - I can't imagine watching this in the theater
27:44 and being a child being like, "What is happening?"
27:47 - Oh no.
27:50 - Trippy.
27:53 - Wow, that tear can really move.
27:58 - Okay, I mean the tear's doing something,
28:00 but I didn't think it was gonna do this.
28:01 - Oh, it's like a defibrillator.
28:04 Shock 'em back to life, nope, okay.
28:07 - But they're dried out.
28:09 - Sprinkler it up.
28:11 - Okay, all right.
28:14 - Get back up, SpongeBob and Patrick.
28:17 - Come on.
28:18 - Hey, we're alive.
28:20 - Yay.
28:21 - Ready?
28:23 One, two, three.
28:25 - How are they gonna?
28:27 Oh, oh.
28:28 Oh, yeah, now they're all coming back to life
28:36 'cause of the agua.
28:38 - Is that what's happening?
28:39 - You're in trouble now, Cyclops.
28:41 - I don't think that's what's happening.
28:43 - No, okay, someone just.
28:45 - Oh my God, you're right. - Yeah, yeah.
28:47 Taste your own medicine, man.
28:54 - Oh.
29:10 - What have you done?
29:12 - Now you're really gonna have to come a man
29:14 and find your way back home with the crown.
29:17 You gotta put in the work.
29:18 - No way.
29:22 - Oh man, Baywatch?
29:23 - Oh my God, it's actually David Hasselhoff.
29:26 - Oh my goodness.
29:38 - You go, Hasselhoff.
29:40 - I'm full on like what, dolphin now?
29:43 - He's like a boat.
29:44 - Uh-oh.
29:47 - Oh, interesting.
29:52 - What?
29:52 Yeah, Patrick, oh man.
29:58 - What is happening on David Hasselhoff's body?
30:06 - Fun and party.
30:07 - Huh?
30:08 - Fire!
30:09 - Nice.
30:09 - Nice, yeah.
30:10 - Oh.
30:13 - Oh gosh, he can survive. - No.
30:16 - Not on Hasselhoff.
30:18 - Not on his foot.
30:19 Oh.
30:22 Oh, nice.
30:24 - But we'll never be able to float down in time.
30:26 - Initiating launch sequence.
30:28 - Oh my goodness.
30:32 - You see that?
30:33 - The control.
30:35 - What?
30:36 - Ew.
30:37 - The control.
30:39 - Wow, David Hasselhoff.
30:51 - Looking pretty good for his age.
30:56 - No.
30:59 - No, not David.
31:00 - My beautiful crown.
31:02 - I knew you could do it.
31:05 - My parade shall be quite dry under my umbrella.
31:13 - Oh no.
31:16 - Oh crap.
31:17 - Oh my, no.
31:18 - All hail Black Dog.
31:21 All hail Black Dog.
31:25 - Oh boy.
31:26 - I'm an evil genius and you're just a kid.
31:30 - So mean.
31:31 - They're really not nice under the sea.
31:35 - I made it to Shell City and I beat the Cyclops
31:38 and I rode the Hasselhoff and I brought the crown back.
31:43 - Oh my gosh, can singing get them out of mind control?
31:46 - I'm.
31:46 - Hey, settle down. - I'm.
31:47 - Take it easy. - I'm.
31:49 - What the scallop?
31:50 - What?
31:51 - Goofy Goomer.
31:52 - Oh.
31:53 - You're a Goofy Goomer.
31:55 We're all Goofy Goomers.
31:57 - What?
31:59 - Goofy, Goofy, Goofy.
32:00 - Oh my God.
32:01 - People definitely do drugs and see this movie.
32:04 - This is the most unexpected thing in the world.
32:06 ♪ Kids just say when you say I'm a kid ♪
32:08 ♪ I say say it again ♪
32:09 - Oh, oh boy.
32:11 Yes.
32:16 Nice.
32:20 - That's pretty cool.
32:21 Hell yeah.
32:26 - Whoa, cool.
32:28 (laughs)
32:30 - This is insane.
32:34 - It's the wizard who saved us.
32:36 - Out of my way, fool.
32:38 - Stomp on him.
32:39 Yay.
32:41 Karma, man.
32:42 - May I say, sir, you are a very lucky fellow
32:45 to have in your employ such a brave,
32:48 faithful, and heroic young lad.
32:51 - He's a great man.
32:52 - Oh my goodness.
32:57 - I'm on it.
32:58 (laughs)
33:00 - I'm sorry I ever doubted ye.
33:02 That's a mistake I won't make again.
33:04 - Make him manager.
33:06 - I think we all know who rightfully deserves
33:08 to wear that manager pin.
33:10 - I couldn't agree more, sir.
33:13 - Oh my God, Squidward's coming around for him too.
33:15 - Manager, this is the greatest day of my life.
33:19 ♪ What's your name ♪
33:20 ♪ Take me by the hand ♪
33:22 ♪ Lead me to the land ♪
33:24 - Wow, what a journey.
33:26 - Okay.
33:28 Is that what the series is like?
33:30 Does it go into like, where you're like on a trip?
33:34 Like a trip.
33:36 - So, do you follow John Mulaney's career at all?
33:43 - Kind of.
33:47 - Well, John Mulaney was on drugs,
33:51 and then he got sober,
33:53 and his latest stand-up special deals a lot
33:55 with him being sober for the past year or whatever.
33:57 - Okay.
33:58 - This kind of comedy feels like what it's like
34:04 when John Mulaney is probably on drugs.
34:06 (laughs)
34:07 - Yes, yes.
34:08 - There's a lot of the sensibilities,
34:10 the dialogue, the humor.
34:14 Seemed like a guy who's on a very specific kind of drug.
34:17 (laughs)
34:18 - Definitely the mushrooms or acid, right?
34:21 - Yeah, with a little bit of sniffity, sniffy stuff.
34:24 - Yeah.
34:25 - So, trying to watch some stuff for kids,
34:28 but we've said enough.
34:30 But yeah, that is, I was not prepared.
34:33 - Me neither.
34:34 I did not realize that it really would turn
34:37 into certain parts where you,
34:38 if you've been to Disneyland,
34:40 the end of the rides are just like this.
34:42 The dark moments in this movie here.
34:44 - What is happening here?
34:46 - Oh, is this like some post?
34:48 Oh, no.
34:49 I literally just finished watching
34:53 the Little Mermaid live action movie.
34:55 - And now.
34:56 - Talked about it extensively.
34:58 Then five minutes later,
35:00 like Tara showed up while I was filming that.
35:01 - I did.
35:02 - So I just showed up five minutes later.
35:03 - He unlocked the door for me from his phone.
35:05 - And then we're like, all right, Tara,
35:08 let's watch SpongeBob,
35:10 which is another under the sea experience.
35:13 - Quite an adventure.
35:14 - It was Scarlett Johansson.
35:15 That was bulbous, Dennis.
35:16 - Yeah, see, I knew it.
35:16 - Okay.
35:17 - Knew it.
35:19 And then I experienced this,
35:21 which was a drastically different under the sea experience.
35:24 And I was like,
35:26 I did not know this is how SpongeBob SquarePants works.
35:29 - Me neither.
35:31 I mean, it was fun,
35:33 but I was also, I feel like not prepared.
35:37 - No.
35:38 - I feel like I needed to be on a little something, right?
35:42 - There are some really funny moments though.
35:46 - No, no.
35:47 - Don't get me wrong.
35:48 - It's serious, but I'm saying like,
35:49 when it cuts into certain songs and certain parts,
35:53 I feel like people are laughing the entire time
35:56 if you have a little help.
35:57 - Well, the comedy is nonstop.
35:59 - That's what I mean, like 20.
36:01 - It never breathes through.
36:02 It's so serious.
36:04 - Do you feel like that sometimes with that,
36:06 like you get a little worn out?
36:08 - It's a little overwhelming.
36:10 - Like I can't laugh that much.
36:12 - Yeah, yeah.
36:13 - Right?
36:14 - It's a little overwhelming.
36:15 - And then you become a little like desensitized to it.
36:19 - Because it just, it keeps going, it keeps going,
36:24 it keeps going.
36:26 And then I don't often say this word for anything.
36:30 It truly is random.
36:32 There is no rhyme or reason to it.
36:36 And the show, if I'm not mistaken,
36:38 is 22 minutes an episode.
36:41 - Okay.
36:42 - This is under, a little under 80.
36:44 - Yeah.
36:45 - It's a very different experience
36:46 than a 22 minute show, right?
36:48 - For sure, yeah.
36:50 - I mean, there were some hilarious moments,
36:52 pretty much from beginning to end.
36:54 There was something, and don't get me wrong,
36:56 it's very creative.
36:57 It feels like a writer's room full of people
36:59 who like take a little something something,
37:01 and then they just spit out random ideas
37:02 and they piece it together.
37:04 - Yeah.
37:05 - You know?
37:05 - I was thinking that when I was watching,
37:06 I was like, this script, how did it get approved?
37:09 It's not like, I mean, it is the way
37:12 that they put it all together with these characters.
37:15 It works, but like on the page,
37:16 I was thinking like, was nobody like,
37:18 we should make this more, like add in more stuff
37:23 or do more bait and switches,
37:25 but I'm like, oh, with the character set,
37:27 it like, it works perfectly.
37:29 - I wanna see.
37:30 - Even though I haven't seen.
37:31 - I wanna see what the Rotten Tomatoes score is.
37:34 - Oh man, I would love to know.
37:36 - Okay.
37:37 68% approved.
37:39 - Okay.
37:40 - And the audience score, 78%.
37:43 Surreally goofy and entertaining for both children
37:46 and their parents.
37:47 - Yeah.
37:48 - Okay, surreal is a good one for it.
37:50 - Surreal, yes.
37:51 - Yeah, this is surreal.
37:52 It was trippy, it was psychedelic.
37:54 - Yeah.
37:55 - It was kinetic and there is a story at the end of the day.
38:00 I can't say there's no story.
38:06 - I don't, yeah.
38:07 Believe in yourself.
38:11 - But it doesn't, it's been a while since I've seen a movie
38:14 where they don't even attempt to take anything seriously.
38:18 It's kind of crazy. - No.
38:19 - Like they don't take anything seriously.
38:21 - Yeah, I guess you're right about that.
38:23 Even Mindy, Mindy was kind of the only one who was like,
38:28 even though it sounded sometimes sarcastic
38:31 when she would talk, was the only one
38:34 who was slightly serious about like,
38:36 dad, stop all this killing and listen to me.
38:39 She was the only sound one that was like,
38:42 I'll help you do this.
38:44 Otherwise everyone else was just like on a limb.
38:49 - Well, yeah, I mean, even in her scenes though,
38:53 it was, there was constantly like just,
38:55 I'm saying there's not one scene in here.
38:58 - Right.
38:59 - There's something, even if it's like
39:01 they're dying on the lamp thing,
39:03 like there's some comedy happening at all times.
39:05 - Yes, at all times.
39:06 - Yeah, it's a bit overwhelming.
39:08 And I feel like SpongeBob's eyes right now
39:12 where I'm like, whoa, I was not prepared
39:15 for this trip that we went on.
39:18 - Me neither.
39:19 - But it was constantly have something though
39:23 where every once in a while I would be like,
39:25 that is freaking hysterical.
39:27 - Yes, I agree with that.
39:29 I just couldn't laugh the entire time.
39:31 I don't know that I necessarily wanted to
39:33 'cause it was all pretty funny.
39:35 But like, I was always like, oh, this is fun.
39:38 - I was always amused.
39:39 I mean, admittedly there would be times
39:41 where I was a little annoyed.
39:42 - Yeah.
39:43 - Only because like, I don't know SpongeBob
39:45 and my brain was not ready for this.
39:48 - Right.
39:49 - And so once in a while I would be annoyed,
39:52 but then I would suddenly be like, oh, now I'm laughing.
39:56 - He has to grow on you.
39:57 I feel like these, the both of the characters
40:00 and when it really grew on me, when I really was like,
40:02 oh, okay, I understand it.
40:04 When he was drunk, when he, and he shows up drunk,
40:07 he's like, I'll tell you what's wrong.
40:09 Then I was like, okay, I get that.
40:12 That's very, very funny.
40:14 And now I understand the characters a little bit better
40:16 in that moment for me.
40:17 - I was surprised by how sometimes there would be like
40:19 some serious, like true adult humor.
40:21 Not just like, oh, these are jokes adults would get.
40:23 Like, no, this is straight up like,
40:25 a lot of this is like crass humor.
40:27 - Only adult, yeah.
40:28 - A little bit vulgar.
40:29 - Yeah.
40:30 - You know, like the him like hung over jokes or.
40:33 - Yeah, or him reading the.
40:35 - The villain in the villain house.
40:36 - Reading the.
40:36 - The villain house.
40:37 - Yeah, that was, that was great.
40:39 - Yeah, they had that moment.
40:41 It would fluctuate between these moments.
40:45 And so, yeah, I think it's not just adjusting
40:47 to the character, but adjusting to the style.
40:49 Because the characters are representative of the style.
40:52 - Yeah.
40:53 - I liked the Squidward character.
40:55 I was like, oh, I feel like he would have helped balance out
40:58 some of this energy.
40:59 'Cause he's like the one who lives in the most reality.
41:00 - Yeah, if he would have been in it more, right?
41:03 Like been incorporated in it.
41:05 - If he was on the journey with them.
41:07 - Yeah, or if he was like, this manager job is too,
41:11 is like too overwhelming for him.
41:13 So he decides to go try and find them on the like the,
41:16 oh, after.
41:35 - Okay.
41:36 - Okay.
41:52 - All righty.
41:53 - Okay, I thought something was gonna happen there
41:55 at the end there.
41:56 - Just tie around a bit was fun.
41:57 - Just slowly, slowly exit.
42:00 - Oh, and I also really liked the, I love,
42:03 I think there's a lot of great things about the editing
42:05 and the way they like smash the things
42:08 that have just this great visual comedy elements throughout.
42:11 Like the visual comedy can be really strong in here.
42:14 For animation, instead of like,
42:17 sometimes you watch these animated movies
42:19 that can be annoying for people where the comedy
42:21 is really reliant on like stupid pop culture jokes
42:24 or whatever.
42:25 - Yeah.
42:26 - This is.
42:27 - Physical.
42:27 - It's all physical, yeah.
42:28 There's almost something Leslie Nielsen about it.
42:31 Leslie Nielsen meet like,
42:33 Naked Gun meets like a family guy.
42:35 Meets like a Cartoon Network show.
42:38 Yeah, there's a lot of different elements to it.
42:41 - But I mean.
42:42 - It's like the smash cuts to their reactions
42:44 were really funny.
42:45 It was mostly them being like silent and wide-eyed
42:49 and they're like, and that, that was like the one relief
42:53 that I was like, that's very, very, that's funny.
42:55 And it's also giving us one second
42:57 where they're not constantly talking
42:59 or trying to like make us laugh.
43:01 I guess with the dialogue.
43:02 - Yeah.
43:03 - Which was cool.
43:04 - Yeah, but SpongeBob grew on me over time.
43:07 Even Patrick, who I thought was really frustrating
43:09 at first eventually became like,
43:10 he had some really funny moments.
43:11 - Yeah.
43:13 - Overall, yeah.
43:14 I mean.
43:15 - Are we dead?
43:15 I liked when every time he,
43:17 like he always had three words, like, are we there?
43:20 Like, are we dead?
43:21 Which I really enjoy.
43:23 - I would like to watch the first episode of the show.
43:26 - Yeah, just to see.
43:27 - And then be like, all right, okay, yeah, yeah.
43:29 - Yeah.
43:30 - Like, I bet you if you watch the whole series,
43:33 these two guys really grow on you
43:34 because you have only 22 minutes.
43:37 You don't have to like, not have to,
43:38 but you're not sitting through 80 minutes
43:40 of like an adventure with them.
43:41 I think in short bursts,
43:43 these two will really, really grow on you.
43:46 - Well, if you've already seen the show,
43:48 this has five stars out of 7.2.
43:50 So clearly the fans of the show like this.
43:52 - They love it.
43:53 - Yeah, because if this,
43:54 it was like, I liked it.
43:57 I can't say I loved it.
43:58 Even though there were some jokes that I absolutely loved.
44:00 'Cause yeah, people who already watch the show,
44:04 they already know, they're already emotionally,
44:05 they already are like the characters.
44:07 They already love everyone.
44:08 - Yeah, exactly.
44:09 - And then they're watching the movie,
44:11 whereas I'm like- - It came in cold, man.
44:12 - This is an introductory.
44:13 Like, I've seen stuff of Squidward in the past
44:16 of like little things people have posted.
44:18 And like, I can't really tell you anything about SpongeBob.
44:21 I've seen like things,
44:23 nothing that was like character defining traits of him.
44:26 And I was aware, I've heard of Krusty Krab,
44:29 I didn't know that it was a place that SpongeBob worked at.
44:32 And I've heard the song.
44:34 So that was, my familiarity is very limited.
44:37 - I didn't know any of those things.
44:37 - You didn't know Jack about it, okay.
44:40 Yeah, but this was, it was like,
44:42 okay, now I understand some of these references I've heard.
44:44 And then you didn't know anything.
44:45 - No. - So as newbies.
44:47 - Yeah.
44:48 - This was our honest take on it throughout.
44:51 - Honest hot take.
44:52 - But, huh.
44:55 - Any last words?
44:57 - I'm brain fried right now.
44:58 This is really, I wanna talk more,
45:00 but my brain is fried.
45:02 I feel like I went through shock therapy.
45:02 - That's why he kept drinking water.
45:04 I was like, I need to keep my eyes open
45:06 and be registering everything they're saying.
45:09 - My eyes are really wide open right now.
45:10 There's some really great visuals too.
45:12 There's great visual panache.
45:13 And I liked like Hasselhoff showing up.
45:15 I thought like the commitment of it and the creepiness.
45:17 And there was like body horror elements at times too.
45:20 - The peck smash into the water.
45:22 That was great.
45:23 - And then there's something about the Spongebob world
45:25 that reminds me of like, I'm a big fan of H.P. Lovecraft
45:28 who a lot of his world is like humanoid fish people.
45:32 And a lot of that reminded me of this,
45:34 but like a parody spoof version of it.
45:36 So that was fun.
45:38 - So that was fun.
45:40 - Yeah.
45:41 - So.
45:44 - This review has been us trying to understand
45:45 what Spongebob Squarepants is and being like,
45:48 I feel like we just got here,
45:49 but like I got so wet in the car.
45:51 We're like, what happened?
45:52 (laughing)
45:54 The hair is like, it's blasted back.
45:56 Our eyes are wide open and red and we're just shaking.
46:00 Like we just watched the Spongebob movie
46:03 and we knew nothing about it going in.
46:06 That's us.
46:07 - That was wild.
46:08 - Yeah, you guys, well, leave a comment.
46:10 Let us know what you think, what you thought.
46:13 If you've watched all the episodes,
46:15 why we are terrible people for not.
46:18 And 'cause we would love to hear all about it.
46:22 And what do I say for the patrons?
46:26 - We can just end it.
46:27 I need a shower or something now.
46:30 - What?
46:31 - I'm gonna shower off my brain.
46:32 - Okay.
46:33 We're gonna go shower off our brains.
46:35 - We're gonna shower separately.
46:37 - Yeah, not together.
46:39 And we'll see you guys later.
46:43 That's it from us.
46:45 Bye.
46:47 (upbeat music)
46:49 [MUSIC PLAYING]

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