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00:00Why did I make already a bigger pudding?
00:24I forgot already how my cousin Simon likes my noodle pudding.
00:27He had two portions already.
00:29The scrape out the crust, and that's all.
00:33Where are the aspirins, Ma?
00:34Who has a head already?
00:35Cousin Simon has a headache.
00:37Oh, my gracious.
00:38Look in my chest for the aspirin, Samuel, dear.
00:41Maybe he shouldn't have any more pudding.
00:44Molly, will you please come in already and sit on the table?
00:47Your cousin Simon's conversation is
00:48getting beyond my endurance.
00:50Jake, you promised.
00:51That's why I want you to come in and relieve
00:53me of the burden of being a host before I forget my promise.
00:56Jake, why is it?
00:57Why is it every time my cousin Simon comes to the house?
01:00How many times has he invited you to his house?
01:02What's the matter?
01:03Would it embarrass him to have his butler
01:05meet his poor relations?
01:06And how are you talking too loud?
01:09Cousin Simon wants more cells in the refrigerator.
01:12If I was a man that treated his family
01:14the way Simon treats his, I wouldn't
01:15have the effrontery to call up and say I'm coming.
01:18All right, but he's here already.
01:19So what harm would be it?
01:20And what amiss would it be if you would tell him
01:22the things are not so good and you need work in the factory?
01:24Oh, no.
01:25Not me.
01:26He knows the predicament I'm in.
01:28He reads the women's wear.
01:30He knows I'm standing with idle machines,
01:31that business isn't so good with me at the moment.
01:34If he was a cousin like I would be a cousin.
01:36Hi.
01:37Well, I'm waiting for the pudding.
01:39Who does he think he is?
01:42Everybody's who they think they are
01:43and who you think they are, and what they are
01:45and what they hope to be, and also
01:47what they hope they could be.
01:48Thank you, Mrs. Shakespeare.
01:50You're very welcome.
01:53Have a headache, Simon?
01:55A little.
01:56Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
01:57Here, dear.
01:58I just have a little crust of the pudding left.
02:00Oh, all right.
02:04Tell me, Simon, when will your family
02:06be back from their cruise?
02:07Do I know?
02:08The bread, please.
02:09The bread.
02:10Simon, why didn't you take a vacation?
02:13Me?
02:13Me, a vacation?
02:16Pass me the salt.
02:17You have to have a talent for leisure, David.
02:20I would have that talent.
02:21You only think you would.
02:22No, I would.
02:24The pickles.
02:26Well, for example, tell me, what would you do?
02:28Well, it seems to me I would sit down
02:31and make a list of all the relatives
02:33I couldn't see when I was too busy to see them.
02:36So who should I see?
02:37Tante Elke, Cousin Muckle, Sarah, Saul?
02:41Why not?
02:42Why not?
02:43Poor relations are a liability.
02:47How are they getting along?
02:48Struggling.
02:49Struggling?
02:50Well, of course.
02:51And what's the wonder?
02:52They never want it any more than they have,
02:54and they have nothing.
02:55How is Sarah's son?
02:57Max.
02:58Two-family house that's hanging on four mortgages.
03:01Sure.
03:02He had to have a house that he couldn't afford.
03:04And Muckle?
03:06Muckle, don't ask.
03:07A soda water stand with a telephone booth.
03:09Why didn't he take a job?
03:11He was lazy.
03:12Sure.
03:13It's much easier to sit there and sell for a penny plain.
03:16He had to be a businessman.
03:18And you, Jake, you had to continue
03:20struggling year in and year out in the dress business?
03:23What do you mean?
03:24A little pickle time?
03:25What do you mean?
03:26Well, if I can talk plainly, Jake.
03:28Let Simon talk plainly.
03:31What are you trying to say, that I'm not a businessman?
03:33You are a first-class cutter, Jake.
03:36Everybody in the trade knows that.
03:37Simon, now that we're talking plainly, may I also indulge?
03:41Go ahead.
03:41Only stir up your memory, Simon.
03:43Where would you be in a family that's-
03:45I am a self-made man, Jake.
03:47Nobody in this world is self-made.
03:49Nobody.
03:50I remember a little further back than Jake remembers.
03:53Your Uncle Sal wasn't so lazy when he took money out
03:55of the bank to help you, Simon.
03:57And if your remembrance is not too short,
03:59Tante Elka and her children, and Motel, and Joe,
04:02may he rest where he is, when it came to help you when
04:05you needed help, they put you into a business
04:07with four machines.
04:08Absolutely.
04:09And if we're talking already, let's talk.
04:11By who did you stay when you had no place to live?
04:13Tante Elka.
04:15And if we're talking, so let's talk.
04:17What's this talking?
04:18I could talk from today till tomorrow,
04:20and still wouldn't be ready for a period.
04:22Anything I ever got from my relations
04:24was returned with interest.
04:25Oh, the wrong kind of interest.
04:27Maybe if you would listen-
04:28If we're eating, let's eat already, please.
04:31Oh, I-
04:32What is it, Simon?
04:35A little bicarbonate, sort of.
04:37Simon!
04:38Bicarbonate!
04:39Simon.
04:41Simon, what's the matter?
04:42Here, sit down warm.
04:43Simon.
04:44Open a window, somebody don't stand.
04:46What's the matter, Simon?
04:48Simon's going across the street
04:49and Dr. Starr can bring him over right away.
04:51What?
04:52The serious pneumonia, the smelly sores.
04:54Smelly sores?
04:55Ma, what can I do?
04:56Take off Simon's shoes.
04:57Simon, darling, please.
04:59What is it?
05:00Don't talk!
05:01Jake.
05:02Smelly sores, please.
05:04That's too dangerous.
05:05Here, smelly sores.
05:06Smelly sores.
05:10Inhale.
05:11Open Simon's belt.
05:13Inhale.
05:14Simon's belt.
05:15Dear cousin, exhale.
05:18Inhale.
05:21There he is, Doctor.
05:22Why, Doctor dear.
05:23Why, I'm glad you're here.
05:24We were just sitting quietly,
05:26and all of a sudden, a collapse.
05:28He does something, Doctor.
05:29Now, just let me open your shirt.
05:30Oh, don't sit up.
05:32Rosalene.
05:35Like my son, Sally's stethoscope.
05:37Thanks.
05:38Doctor dear, would you like us to remove ourselves?
05:41Yes, yes, please.
05:42Jake dear.
05:42David.
05:43David, stop cluttering and clattering with the dishes now.
05:48We're only trying to clean the table, Ma.
05:50Ma, please, don't go to pieces.
05:52Don't talk to me backwards and forwards
05:54when I'm going through a crisis, Sammy.
05:56Come on, Rosie.
05:58We'll be upstairs if you want anything, Ma.
06:07Molly, change your face.
06:08You didn't hear the diagnosis yet.
06:10You want me to give you my diagnosis?
06:12Well?
06:13Good, don't look.
06:15That's my diagnosis.
06:16He had three portions of noodle pudding, no wonder.
06:20Should only be nothing.
06:22Nothing it isn't.
06:23To say that I ever loved Simon, I never did,
06:25but I never hated him either.
06:28He should only be well.
06:30Mr. Goldberg.
06:30Hello, Doctor dear.
06:31What is it, Doctor?
06:33Could I use your telephone?
06:34Of course, surely.
06:36What is your diagnosis, Doctor?
06:38Well, I suspect that this may be a functional disease.
06:41But I can't be absolutely sure until I perform some tests.
06:44Oh, tests.
06:45Well, tests is a natural, natural...
06:48The one thing is certain.
06:49I don't want him moved.
06:51Oh, you, Simon's...
06:54This is Dr. Stark.
06:55Miss Atkinson, call the registry and get a couple of nurses.
06:58A day nurse and a night nurse.
07:00That's right.
07:01Jake.
07:02Yes?
07:03Jake.
07:03Jake.
07:04Mm-hmm.
07:05Jake.
07:07Jake.
07:08Jake, if he's ordering too much,
07:10he's ordering two nurses.
07:12He's not telling us.
07:14Jake, I can read between the syllables.
07:16Molly.
07:20Simon.
07:21Simon, the doctor said you're only functional.
07:24A little water, please, Molly.
07:26Yes, I'll get it.
07:27No, Molly, Jake.
07:28Don't leave me.
07:30Oh, we won't, Simon.
07:31We won't.
07:32David.
07:35A little water, please.
07:36All right.
07:37Not Miss Lynch for this case, no.
07:40Doctor, is it all right if the patient has some water?
07:43Oh, of course.
07:44I only ask because in intestinal cases,
07:46my solid doctor never allows water.
07:49Oh, well, that's all right.
07:50He can have all the water he wants.
07:55Who?
07:58Miss Ellis.
07:58Well, I thought she was on the Gerald case.
08:01Oh.
08:04Well, all right, send Miss Ellis over then.
08:08Yes, the two nurses.
08:09That's what he wants.
08:11Well, he could get along with one,
08:12but he's the nervous type.
08:14Drink quietly.
08:15Quietly.
08:18More water.
08:19More water.
08:20More.
08:26Any messages?
08:30Oh, well, read me Mr. Blish's report, please.
08:33There's a large area of muscle involved.
08:37There's a marked axis deviation.
08:41Well, he's in failure.
08:43He isn't too long.
08:44Yes, he sounds like a pretty sick man.
08:48That's good.
08:50I, uh, I think the family should be notified.
08:54Well, maybe two or three days.
08:57You never know.
09:00Molly.
09:04Close your eyes, Mrs. Stark.
09:07I'll be right back.
09:10What is it?
09:11Just heard the doctor.
09:12What?
09:13Simon is in failure.
09:14What do you mean failure?
09:16It's an occlusion of the descending branch.
09:19What?
09:20What does that mean?
09:21Be prepared, Molly.
09:22Be prepared.
09:24For what?
09:24The worst.
09:25Absolutely the worst.
09:29I'll be back with my portable cardiograph machine.
09:32Doctor dear, tell us what it is.
09:34No matter what it is.
09:35Well, I will, Mrs. Goldberg.
09:37Just as soon as I get the reports.
09:38But doctor dear, you see, I want to...
09:40In the meantime, there's nothing you can do
09:42except just keep him comfortable.
09:45I'll be back shortly.
09:50Molly, please.
09:51Where there's life, there's hope.
09:56Listen, Sally, the doctor said it
09:58and I heard him with both ears.
09:59So let me talk to Sally.
10:01Molly, please.
10:02The occlusion of the descending branch
10:05with large area of muscle involved.
10:09Well, of course he said it.
10:10He said it and I heard it.
10:12With excess deviation.
10:15Please, will Sally come for a consultation maybe?
10:18Sally, would you come for consultation please?
10:22Huh?
10:23What huh?
10:24Is that what you think?
10:26Hmm?
10:27All right.
10:28I'll keep you toasted.
10:30Goodbye, Sally.
10:32Sally's coming?
10:33No.
10:34Why David?
10:35Don't ask me why, Molly.
10:37If there was something he could do, he would come.
10:41Jake.
10:43Molly, listen to me.
10:45Call Simon's family and let them come home at once.
10:47Call them?
10:48Where am I going to call them?
10:49They're on a boat on some ocean.
10:51Call them.
10:52Well, I'll get dressed.
10:54I'd better call my office
10:55and tell them I wouldn't be in today.
10:57You do that, Jake.
10:59See how a person's only a fly?
11:01A fly, not me, Sally.
11:03Where can I find some towels, please?
11:05Oh, morning, Miss Ellis.
11:07Morning.
11:08David, did you get the nurse some towels?
11:09Towels?
11:10Right away, please.
11:11And some more ice, please.
11:12Some more ice.
11:14My nice cubes are vacant, nurse.
11:16Morning, Uncle Ben.
11:17Morning, Rosalie.
11:17Rosalie, darling, run across the street to Miss Carey.
11:20Maybe she can fill me up.
11:22Please, you're taking the cup.
11:24Did you call the telephone company
11:26to see that they had that bell softened?
11:28Yes, everything is attended to.
11:29I'm having all the buzzers softened.
11:31It'll be tended to.
11:33Well, I hope so.
11:34Yes.
11:35Oh, and be sure there's no unnecessary noise down here.
11:38Yes, I'll tend to that also, sorry.
11:40Did you attend to the cart for the night, nurse?
11:43The cart?
11:44Yes, I'm expecting it any moment.
11:46There's a very sharp bell.
11:49I'm sorry, very sharp.
11:52One second, one minute.
11:56Oh, you got the drugstore?
11:58Hi.
11:58Here are the things, Miss Ellis.
11:59Thank you, come with me.
12:01Here are the towels, please.
12:03Come!
12:04Lower, please, David, on the lower register, vocally.
12:11It's the cart, Molly.
12:15Put it right over here, please.
12:16Take it upstairs, please.
12:18Please, please.
12:20No admittance without permission, David.
12:24Nurse, you.
12:28Yes, Miss Bulberg?
12:29The night nurse is here.
12:30The night nurse?
12:32I mean the cart, cart.
12:33Oh, up here, my ma'am.
12:35Up here, my ma'am.
12:38Very gently, please.
12:41Look out for my carpets.
12:46Here are the ice cubes, ma'am.
12:47Tiptoe off very gently, please.
12:52Where are you going, Samuel?
12:53I forgot the rubbing alcohol.
12:54Slam the door quietly.
12:56Hi, David, David.
12:58See how a person don't live forever?
13:00Oh, I'm shaking like a leaf.
13:02Shh!
13:08Oh, shh!
13:10A dead man is laying sick and no consideration.
13:13Molly!
13:14Shh!
13:17Simon wants to talk to us.
13:19Molly, hold my hand.
13:24Tell me, Molly, how am I?
13:28You're fine, Simon, fine.
13:30Fine, very fine.
13:35Molly, Simon is finished.
13:39He's dead.
13:40He's dead.
13:41He's dead.
13:42He's dead.
13:43He's dead.
13:45He's dead.
13:46He's dead.
13:46He's dead.
13:47I know now that life is a dream, an illusion, a shadow.
13:54Life is just a day.
13:56A day can be life, too, son.
13:59Well, I always wanted the wrong things.
14:03Now that it's too late, I know.
14:07The things that I might have done, that I should have done.
14:13Why did I turn my back on my own flesh and blood?
14:18Hunter Elka, Cousin Mottle, Sarah, Saul.
14:25Did Jake have to struggle so much when I could have made life so much easier for him?
14:32Molly, before I close my eyes, my whole family and their family will know
14:39that they once had a cousin, Simon.
14:44Molly, call my lawyer.
14:47I have to talk to him.
14:49Simon, you'll get well.
14:52If I get well, it will be a different Simon.
14:58Jake, where is my dear Cousin Jake?
15:02Here I am, Simon.
15:04Here I am, Simon.
15:06Jake.
15:09Jake, as long as you live, you'll never have anything to worry about.
15:16I need strangers to reap what I sowed.
15:20You will be in complete charge of my factory, Jake.
15:24Hunter Elka, she'll never have to worry for the rest of her life.
15:29Saul, leave her.
15:33Only let me get well, Jake.
15:37Only let me get well, you will be my right hand.
15:42All I want to live to see is my family enjoying the fruits of my labor, that's all.
15:50Just to see my dear family.
15:55Well, he's not an easy patient, Doctor, and he watches the clock.
16:01Thank you, Doctor.
16:03Good morning, Miss Ellis.
16:05Good morning, Miss Goldberg.
16:07Well, what's the doctor's prognosis?
16:09As soon as he gets here, we'll know.
16:12Good morning, Miss Ellis.
16:13Good morning, Mr. Goldberg.
16:15Well, Molly?
16:16When the doctor gets here, we'll get the report.
16:18Let's not fool ourselves, Molly.
16:20We know the report.
16:22Well, there's life, there's hope, David.
16:24See how it takes a crisis to make a man?
16:27He was always a man.
16:29If not, he wouldn't be doing what he's doing now for the family.
16:32But Hunter Elka is giving $100 a month for life.
16:36Muttley's getting a cigar stand in the garment center.
16:39And Saul and Max, don't ask what he's doing for the whole family.
16:43And you, Jake, you're going to be his right hand.
16:47Let him only get well.
16:49I'm only sorry for all the years we didn't understand him.
16:52And don't think, Molly darling, that this hasn't been an awakening for me also.
16:56I'm glad, darling.
16:58So go, dear.
16:59Go to the station.
17:00You've got to meet Miss Pringer, Simon's secretary.
17:02I'm going, Molly.
17:03Go, darling.
17:06David.
17:09Another branch of the family tradition.
17:14Come, Miss Pringer.
17:16Come, Miss Pringer.
17:18I'll knock first because it's very critical.
17:26Miss Simon's secretary is here.
17:29Can she come in?
17:30Yes, he's expected.
17:35Hello, Mr. Simon.
17:36Come in, Debbie.
17:37Come in.
17:38Sit down.
17:40Tell me, did you make out all the checks I asked you to make out?
17:44I have everything here, Mr. Simon.
17:46Are you well enough to sign them?
17:48With my last strength, I'll sign them.
17:51Debbie, if anything happens to me, I want my dear cousin Jake to have power of attorney.
17:58Don't go, Molly.
17:59Don't go.
18:00I want you to see with your own eyes.
18:02Show my dear cousin the checks.
18:07Aunt Elka, Cousin Mottle, that's for the cigar stand.
18:12Only get well, Simon.
18:14Only get well.
18:15And for you, Debbie, for your loyalty, your devotion, how many years have you been working for me?
18:22Fifteen years.
18:23Fifteen years.
18:25Double your salary, Debbie.
18:27Double your salary starting next week.
18:30Mr. Simon, thank you.
18:33Oh, you have no idea what this is going to mean to me.
18:37Tell me, Debbie.
18:38I would like to know what this means to you.
18:41Let me hear.
18:42Let me have the pleasure.
18:43Tell me.
18:44Well, you see, a girl who has no husband to support her has to think about her future.
18:50I'll be able to save a little.
18:52Every birthday won't seem like a nightmare.
18:55Oh, there are so many things that people in your circumstances can't understand, Mr. Simon.
19:01Get me a pen, Debbie.
19:05Molly, call up my relatives.
19:10I want to see them once again.
19:19Yes.
19:21Yes.
19:22Oh, that's splendid.
19:24Yes, yes, I'll tell him.
19:26Well, thank you.
19:28Mrs. Goldberg.
19:29Yes?
19:30I have good news for you.
19:31Yes?
19:32The cardiograph is negative.
19:34Oh, negative.
19:36It's wonderful.
19:38Hank, David.
19:39Yes?
19:40Wonderful news.
19:41What?
19:42The cardiograph says it's negative.
19:44No noise?
19:45Negative?
19:46Yes, there's no injury and no thrombosis.
19:49No thrombosis?
19:56And there's nothing wrong with your heart.
19:59I knew it.
20:00I'm not a doctor, but I knew there was nothing wrong with my heart.
20:04Why?
20:05For what reason should I have a heart attack?
20:07I'm not a doctor, but I knew it.
20:09Now, Mr. Simon, please, there's still the blood count,
20:11and don't forget about your gallbladder.
20:13Now, my heart is right.
20:15Yes, but you may still require surgery, Mr. Simon.
20:18What's a knife compared to a heart?
20:20Tell my cousins the good news.
20:22Well, they already know.
20:24I'll be back in a moment, Miss Brimmer.
20:26And now about these checks, Mr. Simon.
20:29Well, good news can also be fatiguing.
20:34Well, take a look at those checks again.
20:40$100 a month.
20:42That's a lot of money.
20:44Just figure out how much money a man has got to have in the bank
20:47to get an income of $100 a month at the present rate of interest.
20:51Oh, Simon, we're so happy.
20:54If it's negative and if it's no thrombosis.
20:57And I tried to get Pam to help count the telephone,
20:59so she'll tell the whole family to come,
21:01but the line was busy.
21:03You don't think I ought to have any visitors?
21:06Oh, I think you can have a few visitors
21:08if they don't stay too long.
21:10Well, perhaps we'd better wait to see what the doctor says.
21:13I feel fatigued.
21:15I think I'll rest until the doctor comes.
21:18Rest, Simon, dear, rest.
21:20Rest.
21:21Rest.
21:22I'll rest.
21:26How's the patient today?
21:28Well, it seems to me, doctor,
21:29you should have known without a cardiograph that I had no heart.
21:32Well, in these matters, we like to be sure...
21:34How about the hemoglobin?
21:36No surgery is indicated.
21:38I don't have to be operated on?
21:40No.
21:41There's nothing wrong with your gallbladder, Mr. Simon.
21:43But you said it was infected.
21:45Well, we did suspect a stone of the ampulla, but...
21:48What did I have?
21:51Well, you see...
21:52Well, what was it?
21:54A severe case of gastroenteritis, which caused a formation...
21:58Please, doctor, in plain English.
22:02Mr. Simon, you overate.
22:05Overate?
22:07What am I doing in bed?
22:08What I need is a long vacation.
22:10Well, that's a good idea.
22:11A little vacation never hurt anybody.
22:13Well, I'll see you this afternoon.
22:15You won't see me this afternoon.
22:16I won't be in Haberville.
22:18All right.
22:20Good day, Miss Springer.
22:21Good day, doctor.
22:23I'm so happy, Mr. Simon.
22:25Miss Springer, I think you'd better get the next train back to New York.
22:27Yes, sir.
22:28And now, Mr. Simon,
22:29if you'll just sign these checks to your relations,
22:31I can mail them.
22:32Checks?
22:33What's the hurry about checks?
22:34I'm not dead yet.
22:35Oh, and Mr. Simon,
22:36since you're thinking of taking a vacation,
22:38that matter of my increase...
22:39Your increase starts January 1st,
22:41$5 a week.
22:42Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to get dressed.
22:48Operator,
22:49how long can a line be busy?
22:51Why, Sally, the doctor would have known it was not thrombosis.
22:55By his complexion, he would have known.
22:57Hello, Tanta?
22:58Me.
22:59Tanta?
23:00Simon hasn't got a heart.
23:02It's not a thrombosis.
23:04Isn't that wonderful?
23:06And Tanta, darling,
23:07I didn't want to tell you yesterday,
23:09but I want you to listen to me,
23:11and I want you to tell the whole family
23:13that they'll remember they had a cousin Simon.
23:17Don't ask me.
23:18Don't ask me any questions.
23:20Just suffice it, suffice it that it's wonderful news.
23:24All right, darling.
23:25Goodbye, dear.
23:26Goodbye.
23:27Goodbye.
23:28Why didn't you tell her what Simon is going to do for the family?
23:31Because I want Simon to tell them himself.
23:34Oh, Jack, darling,
23:36Simon's right hand you're going to be.
23:38He won't be sorry.
23:40The confidence he has in me will be repaid.
23:42Oh, Jack, darling,
23:43and at long last, Tanta will have a little comfort in her old age,
23:48and Saul and Sarah and the whole family,
23:52their last years will be bright.
23:54Molly, maybe you'll fix a sneak snake for Simon.
23:57You have to ask me.
23:58Of course.
24:00See?
24:01So the coronary pectoris is null and void.
24:04You see what a gastrocosm can do to a person?
24:08Oh, well, Simon, it's good to see you.
24:10How do you feel, Simon?
24:11A vacation, and I'll be like new.
24:13Take a long vacation and forget everything.
24:15I'll look after your interests.
24:17You know that, Simon.
24:18I know that, Jake.
24:19But it just occurred to me that the dress business being what it is,
24:23it might not be a bad idea to sit out the next season or two
24:28until things change.
24:30But, Simon, you said that...
24:31Well, we'll talk about that when I get back.
24:33I don't want to miss my train.
24:34Simon, here's a snack.
24:36No, thank you.
24:38Never again.
24:39You and your snack almost killed me.
24:41You realize that?
24:42You almost killed me.
24:44You have to be a little more careful how you feed your guests,
24:47even if it is a relation.
24:53Well, Mrs. Shakespeare,
24:55when it comes to your relatives, where there's life, there's no hope.
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