• last year
Meet the 35-year-old virgin who has never been kissed because she picks nights in with cake over socialising.

Anya Panchal, 35, has spent most of her adulthood alone and considers herself ''left on the shelf''.

Despite wanting to meet a partner, she has never been on a date and chooses to eat pudding at home over going to the pub.

She suffers from social anxiety and admits she only started to make friends aged 22.

Coupled with this, childhood bullying left her too shy to speak to men and Anya says she finds gatherings ''terrifying''.

Anya is now trying to overcome her social anxieties so she can eventually have her first kiss, form a romantic relationship and lose her virginity.

Anya, who used to work helping kids get to school but is currently unemployed, from Ilford, Essex, said: "I've never had the confidence to even speak to a man, let alone go out on a date - I wouldn't know what to say.

"All my friends are married with kids, and it makes me feel like I'm living in their shadows.

"I've never had a romantic kiss that they show in movies.

''It feels strange to still be a virgin at my age.

"My parents have been married for 40 years they only want to see me happy but with the right person.

"I want a connection with someone more than the physical side of things but in order to get that, you have to date and the thought of talking to a man gives me anxiety.

"I'm scared that I'll get to a certain age and regret not trying to find anyone, but I'd rather spend my Saturday night at home then out drinking.''

Anya's troubles started aged 16 when she battled depression and crippling social anxiety throughout her school years.

She began to isolate herself at home - where she still lives with her parents - and admits to missing out on ''core teenage years''.

After suffering a breakdown in 2010, Anya was determined to turn her social life around started making friends aged of 22 - through a Facebook group for ''fellow loners''.

''When I finally made friends, it was amazing, I was able to start going out and getting my nails done with them and go to the cinema,'' she said.

''I even started trying the dating apps, but it seemed like the men on there were only looking for sex and it really put me off.

''I haven't dated online since.''

Despite dubbing herself a ''hopeless romantic'', Anya is still terrified at the idea of speaking to or dating a man.

She said: ''I know I need to change my ways, or I'll never fully experience life.

"I feel like I'd like to meet someone because I don't want to be in my 70s with a load of regrets.

"I was a recluse for six years and it's only since 2010 that I've had friends, but naturally they've all gotten married and started a family of their own.

"Don't get me wrong, they're amazing friends but I do feel like there is a part of me missing without a partner.

"In order to get a partner, you have to go on dates and the thought of it fills me with dread.

"Because I'm not in the dating pool, I don't know how to even go about it.

"The thought of being physical with a man makes my stomach flip because I wouldn't even know where to start.

"I'm totally inexperienced with men but I do know I want someone kind with a good personality, who loves to take long walks in the park and with a bit of money.

"Above all, I want an emotional connection with someone because that's the most important thing - or so I've been told."

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00 My name's Anya. I'm quite a lonely person. I'm almost 36 and I've never had a boyfriend.
00:05 I've never been with anybody. I've got no experience with men.
00:08 I've been single my whole life. I haven't even got off the starting blocks with men.
00:12 When people hear I'm still a virgin, they sort of ghost me.
00:15 I think they say things like, "Oh, but somebody your age should have had a reasonable number of partners by now."
00:21 Or, "A boyfriend if you're married with kids."
00:24 Or they say, "Oh, but you're so pretty. You should attract somebody. You'd have a nice figure and things."
00:28 Because I didn't really go out very much, I'm quite reclusive.
00:31 I'm one of these people, rather than going to the pub or club or a bar when I was young,
00:34 I'd stay at home and I would eat a cake or something.
00:37 Being a virgin, it just makes me feel a bit sort of like in other people's shadows.
00:41 Most of my friends, yeah, we were really pallid when we were young.
00:44 But when they got married and had kids, I sort of felt like I was left behind.
00:47 I had depression from the age of 16 to 21.
00:50 I didn't think I would have a physical relationship because I didn't really see men in that sort of way.
00:55 I'm a bit asexual or whatever.
00:57 I've always felt like I can't trust men.
00:59 I've always felt like I can't touch men.
01:01 I never thought I would like to jump into bed with you or you.
01:04 I never thought that.
01:05 I'd like to eventually find my soulmate and companion.
01:07 That's what I'm really looking for.
01:09 It is love and affection I want, but not sleeping with a man.
01:12 My dream date scenario would be somebody who had a bit of cash.
01:15 Someone who's quite attractive.
01:17 It doesn't have to be a stunner.
01:19 Someone who is very down to earth.
01:21 Someone who's probably got a car driving me around and all that.
01:24 Someone who likes me for me or will accept me for me.
01:28 When you're single and you're a virgin and you haven't got much of a social life,
01:31 and you're socially anxious,
01:33 you start feeling like you're an outcast, like you don't really fit in with the human race.
01:37 If someone else was in my situation, I would probably tell them,
01:40 do not ever care what people think of you.
01:42 Just always have confidence, have an important sense of self.
01:47 Go out a bit more, socialise a bit more.
01:49 Surround yourself with friends and family who love you.
01:51 People who love you, who you are and who will accept you.
01:53 do what makes you happy basically.

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