Coronation Street 09 27 23 l Coronation Street September 27 2023
Coronation Street 09 27 23 l Coronation Street September 27 2023
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Short filmTranscript
00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:03 It's really nice, Nina.
00:23 Yeah.
00:24 Cheers, dog.
00:25 You're welcome.
00:27 I've got something to tell you.
00:30 Is she pregnant?
00:31 What?
00:32 No.
00:33 You literally asked him that last week.
00:34 The first thing doesn't have to always be pregnancy.
00:37 God, what do you think Hardy's got?
00:38 Like super sperm or something.
00:39 Can we not talk about your brother's
00:40 sperm at the breakfast table?
00:41 I'm just--
00:42 Please don't do that.
00:44 So what is that?
00:46 We're moving out.
00:49 OK.
00:50 So you're moving into Charlie's old flat?
00:54 What?
00:55 Nothing.
00:56 It's just a real shame.
00:58 Yeah, so how are you going to afford it?
00:59 Because you're not coming to the bank today.
01:00 We don't want your money.
01:01 Do it.
01:02 No.
01:04 I've got to get to work.
01:05 So that deposit is due today.
01:12 Oh, I'll send it over.
01:14 Eh?
01:14 Bank transfer.
01:16 No.
01:17 Do you want to check?
01:19 Don't tell me you haven't got a checkbook.
01:21 I don't have the full deposit.
01:23 You've a real?
01:25 This would be really funny if her living
01:27 here didn't grow on my soul.
01:30 Oh, did I say that out loud?
01:32 Yeah.
01:33 I know what you could do.
01:35 What?
01:36 Sell your first love.
01:37 What, me?
01:39 His Xbox, sweetheart.
01:40 (SINGING) Oh, happy day.
01:46 Oh, happy day.
01:49 Oh, happy day.
01:51 Oh, happy day.
01:52 When Jesus was--
01:55 Oh, when Jesus washed--
01:57 Oh, when he washed--
01:58 Oh, when Jesus washed--
02:00 When Jesus washed--
02:02 Oh, when Jesus washed--
02:03 He washed my sins away.
02:05 Oh, happy day.
02:07 Oh, happy day.
02:09 Oh, happy day.
02:10 [LAUGHTER]
02:13 What were you just in that?
02:14 I don't know.
02:15 It just popped in my head.
02:16 Aw.
02:17 I love it.
02:18 Yeah, me too.
02:19 It's with the reenactment of Sister Act.
02:22 Sister Act 2, back in the habit.
02:25 Could you have a quick whip round with the hoover, please?
02:28 Why?
02:29 It looks all right to me.
02:30 We've got the registrar coming.
02:31 What?
02:32 Do they let you get married unless your place is perfect?
02:35 No. No.
02:36 So could you please get the hoover out?
02:37 All right, groomzilla.
02:39 Sorry.
02:40 I'm joking.
02:41 It's dead exciting, isn't it?
02:46 Getting to speak to this registrar,
02:47 finalize all the details of our ceremony.
02:49 Yep.
02:51 What have you got on today, Ruby?
02:53 Help, boredom, stuff.
02:56 Drama.
02:57 So that basically means math, science, and drama.
03:00 Correct.
03:02 Science is fun.
03:03 Do they let you do explosions and that?
03:06 They used to.
03:07 BH.
03:09 BH?
03:10 Before help.
03:12 Please tell me that's not an official school term.
03:14 What do you think?
03:15 Oh, what?
03:16 Oh.
03:17 Wow.
03:18 What's that?
03:19 It's my Jeff Koons sculpture.
03:21 We had to recreate a piece of art that spoke to us.
03:23 Reminded me of Sir Bruce.
03:25 He was our land's dead dog.
03:27 She pretended like she weren't crying inside, but she was.
03:29 Hey.
03:31 Anyway, he lives on in the sculpture.
03:34 How am I going to get all this to school?
03:35 Why haven't you got the car back yet?
03:37 It's not me, is it?
03:38 It's the police.
03:39 Just order a new one.
03:40 Like it's that easy.
03:41 You working at Gary?
03:42 Hey, don't speak to your dad like that.
03:45 How about I take you to the bus stop?
03:47 All right, deal.
03:48 What about your meeting?
03:50 It's not till later.
03:52 OK.
03:53 Right, come on, my girls.
03:56 Well, have a good day.
03:57 Chop, chop.
03:58 Do you know, I'm worn out looking at you, Steve.
04:05 Lugging all this stuff in.
04:07 Thank you for letting us stay.
04:08 Yeah, and we won't be in your hair too long.
04:10 Oh, well, my spare room, a holiday in Thailand.
04:14 I'm not sure which I'd prefer.
04:16 I haven't agreed to Thailand.
04:18 Not yet, but you need to relax and put all that Teddy
04:21 and Leo stuff behind you.
04:23 Oh, yeah, easy.
04:24 Well, you deserve a break.
04:25 Oh, you're not wrong there.
04:27 What's stopping us?
04:29 I'd go if I were you.
04:31 Are you two ganging up on me or something?
04:32 No.
04:33 Yes, for your own good.
04:36 But who'd water my succulents?
04:38 Who'd care?
04:40 Well, it's not very nice.
04:41 I love Sandra.
04:42 Life is for living.
04:44 I couldn't agree more.
04:47 Headset.
04:49 I love you.
04:51 And thank you.
04:53 What are you doing?
04:54 Marie Kondo.
04:56 You thank your thing and then you let it go.
04:58 You know she's messy now, right?
05:00 How come?
05:01 I don't know.
05:02 Three kids in or something.
05:04 Oh.
05:05 Have you got anything else?
05:06 Unless you want the shirt off my back.
05:08 Is it designer?
05:09 Um...
05:11 It's never going to make enough money, you know, babe.
05:14 Have you got anything?
05:18 I've got these.
05:19 Why didn't you say?
05:20 What?
05:23 They're very 2015.
05:28 They're silver with diamonds.
05:31 Actually, do you know what?
05:34 These are going to be worth a few bob or two.
05:36 We should celebrate.
05:38 What?
05:38 Moving in together.
05:40 Look, I'll sell these bad boys
05:41 and we'll have my half the deposit in no time.
05:44 Get ready, babe.
05:46 We're going out.
05:47 [door opens]
05:50 [door closes]
05:52 [door opens]
05:54 [door closes]
05:56 [door opens]
05:58 [door closes]
06:00 [door opens]
06:02 [door closes]
06:04 [door opens]
06:06 [door closes]
06:08 [door opens]
06:10 [door closes]
06:12 [door opens]
06:14 [door closes]
06:16 [door opens]
06:18 [gasps]
06:20 Oh, Glenda.
06:21 Oh, you're frying the life out of me.
06:24 Oh, and I was having a really nice dream as well.
06:28 [gasps]
06:29 Me and Enrique Anglesius again.
06:31 Let me guess.
06:32 He can be your hero.
06:33 He can kiss away the pain.
06:35 Please, that is so basic, Jenny.
06:37 I'm more of an experience and a legosa kind of girl.
06:41 Experience of the year.
06:43 No, no, no.
06:45 Did you not experience your own bed last night?
06:49 I've got a stream of soot to my backside
06:51 and a booze mark on me forehead,
06:52 so I'm taking that as a no.
06:55 We had a good night though, don't we?
06:58 I reckon we drank the bar dry.
07:01 Oh, and you're not wrong.
07:05 Good morning.
07:07 Brought the cavalry and coffee from.
07:09 Oh, thank you. That's sweet.
07:11 I don't think it'll touch the thighs, but--
07:15 Oh, no, no.
07:17 I don't remember it being this messy and weird.
07:19 Do we have to clean it more?
07:21 No way.
07:22 In fact, I think we should make more mess.
07:25 Take that, Waterford.
07:27 Oh, Glinda.
07:28 Is it me or is it ever so hot in here?
07:30 That is you.
07:31 You were one shot away from doing a West Side Story,
07:34 Wicked Blood Brothers musical last night mashup.
07:37 How lovely.
07:39 Are you two going to reapply for your jobs like they offered?
07:44 As if my old job isn't on offer.
07:48 You know what I mean. The deputy manager role.
07:52 They won't want me.
07:56 Hiya. Table for two, is it?
07:59 Why is there room full of my dad's friends?
08:02 They're really weird golfers.
08:05 Leslie! Happy birthday, Leslie! Come here.
08:09 Sorry, one minute.
08:11 Yeah, no worries.
08:12 Hi, guys. You look gorgeous.
08:14 Hiya.
08:15 Hey, why do you look so worried?
08:17 Because I am. What is this?
08:19 Oh, well, basically, I got a calendar reminder.
08:22 I thought, why don't we have brunch
08:24 and cheer on Leslie's birthday, darling?
08:27 I'm not in there. I'm good at it.
08:29 Absolutely not.
08:30 But will it annoy the hell out of Darren?
08:32 Absolutely, yes.
08:33 Let's get this party started.
08:36 OK, but you're in a pace yourself.
08:38 This isn't for Wendy's free food, involved Avendra.
08:42 Oh, you.
08:48 Hello, hello, hello.
08:50 What are you doing here?
08:52 Um... Leslie!
08:54 Come on, big man.
08:56 Hey, get a strapping lad, cos this could get bumpy.
09:01 Ah! Ah!
09:03 OK, would you all like to take seats?
09:06 OK.
09:08 I'll just get here.
09:17 All right?
09:19 I'll just grab another chair, babe.
09:26 Yeah, honey, yeah, honey.
09:34 I'll just get my hands.
09:36 Shall we move down a bit?
09:38 Make a bit of space.
09:40 Ow!
09:43 Can we fit that in?
09:45 That's all great.
09:51 There was one other thing.
09:53 Can we change our exit music to "Oh, Happy Day"?
09:56 Oh, no, Paul.
09:58 We love it.
09:59 Yeah, but we can't.
10:00 Yeah, but it's our day.
10:01 You're not allowed religious music in a civil ceremony.
10:05 Eh?
10:06 Secular music only, I'm afraid.
10:08 Oh.
10:09 Can't you make an exception?
10:11 I am dieting.
10:13 I'm very sorry. No.
10:15 Is this for my benefit, or...?
10:27 Yours, obviously.
10:29 You talking about me?
10:31 Why would I be? I don't give a monkeys about you.
10:34 Here, love, kiddo's looking bored.
10:36 Mind getting him some colouring paper and some crayons?
10:39 What?
10:41 Er, I'm just going to...
10:48 You know, father, you shouldn't have to see such things.
10:52 Give it a rest. People are trying to eat.
10:56 I see you got rid of your rings already. Classy.
10:59 It's not like they mean much to me any more.
11:02 Are you on your own for brunch?
11:04 I am, but I'm looking forward to Corsica.
11:06 Surprisingly easy to take your name off the booking.
11:09 I'm sure your mum will love it.
11:11 Why don't we sack this off?
11:15 Shall we go furniture shopping for our new flat?
11:17 Erm...
11:18 I'd need a Pinterest board as well.
11:20 Flat?
11:21 This is a private conversation.
11:23 What flat?
11:24 Give yourself a coronary.
11:25 Why don't we all just calm down here, people?
11:27 Why don't we just get another round of drinks?
11:29 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll have another drink.
11:31 As if you'd give me a coronary, you silly cow.
11:33 What did you just call me? What are you doing?
11:35 Sit down, Ardy.
11:36 I might have a spritz.
11:38 Say sorry.
11:39 Shut up.
11:40 Apologise. Now.
11:42 Oh, what?
11:43 Did it hurt?
11:44 Knowing you weren't man enough for it?
11:46 Excuse me?
11:48 Yes, Ardy.
11:49 No, Ardy!
11:50 Bring it. Bring it!
11:51 I'm bringing it.
11:52 Please don't bring it, guys!
11:53 I can take care of myself.
11:54 Go on, then!
11:55 OK, OK, that is enough.
11:58 Right? Enough.
12:00 (Sighs)
12:03 I don't know.
12:26 I'm shy, Cobb.
12:28 I'm eating loads of carbs cos I'm sad.
12:31 For the Rovers?
12:33 For Jenny.
12:35 For the end of an era.
12:37 I loved our little Rovers gang.
12:39 Mm. I'm shy.
12:41 On a separate note, there's something I wanted to ask you, actually.
12:44 I'm thinking I've asked you and Ryan if he wants to do a talk at the STC.
12:49 About what?
12:52 The impact of violence on victims.
12:54 See the person. That sort of thing.
12:56 You think he's ready?
12:58 I actually think that it might help him to process what's happened.
13:02 And when did you suddenly become Dr Julie Smith?
13:05 Well, I've been doing a bit of reading.
13:08 And a bit of thinking about what you said.
13:13 He's a decent guy. He needs support.
13:16 Right.
13:19 I'm actually going to go and pop round, see how he is.
13:24 So I'll get a lie of the land.
13:26 See if he's interested, shall I?
13:28 Yeah?
13:30 Right. I've got to go.
13:32 - Love you. - Love you.
13:35 - Help yourself. - OK.
13:37 I'll give you a text some time, we'll go for a drink.
13:42 I'll see you in a bit.
13:44 Hey, are you off?
13:46 Yeah, I'm just going to go and see Art Paul.
13:48 Well, cheers for sticking up for all of us.
13:51 Oh, I'm sticking up for you? I'm sticking up for Artie.
13:54 Nice.
13:56 Listen, princess, I've got your card marked.
14:00 I've literally no idea what you're on about.
14:02 It means you're using that lad when you've clearly still got feelings for your ex.
14:07 Wow.
14:12 You're so intuitive.
14:14 So, do you want your cardigan or your broomstick?
14:18 Broomstick. Always.
14:21 Let's go.
14:34 - Are you OK? - Yeah.
14:38 Darren, save it.
14:45 I'm sorry.
14:48 Five grand is what I'm offering.
14:51 - For? - You to convince Courtney to dump your son.
14:57 - Pardon? - Or the other way around.
15:00 - No, I can't do that. - I thought you were a businessman.
15:02 - This isn't business. - Isn't it?
15:04 There's me thinking we could strike some kind of deal after all.
15:08 Have a little think.
15:15 What can I do you for?
15:17 - Well, I've sort of had an idea, haven't I? - Yeah.
15:22 Yeah. You know that I work at an STC?
15:26 Is that a euphemism for Young Offenders?
15:28 Sort of, yeah.
15:30 Anyway, I really think that some of the students would benefit from hearing you talk.
15:35 Me?
15:37 Some of these kids, they've been involved in absolutely horrendous crimes
15:42 and unfortunately they're likely to find themselves in similar situations again in the future.
15:46 You're not really selling it to me.
15:48 So perhaps if you spoke to them as a survivor of a serious assault,
15:54 explained everything that's happened to you,
15:57 then they might realise that there's a person at the end of a knife.
16:02 - Or a cup of acid. - I'm not really sure, to be honest, mate.
16:06 It's a lot to ask, I know.
16:09 I know. But I do think you could do some good.
16:12 Look, I haven't got long before I get going, but why don't you think about it
16:17 and then we'll talk about it properly another time?
16:19 - Yeah, all right. - Yeah? - Yeah.
16:22 (TRAFFIC RUMBLES)
16:24 I tell you what, they don't mess about, do they?
16:44 It's not dead.
16:47 Oh, yeah? What am I like?
16:49 I don't think you're Bob-on.
16:51 Your place may not be dead, but a little bit of us is.
16:54 - How's everyone holding up? - So-so.
17:04 Right, come on, girls, let's have one last photograph
17:06 before they strangle it to death with plywood.
17:09 Excuse me, village person number one, could you take a photograph, please?
17:13 Right, come on, girls, we'll get the rowers in the background.
17:16 This side, please. Thank you very much.
17:18 - Camera's on. - Come on, you.
17:20 Right, everybody say, "Waterford's burning hell."
17:24 - Waterford's burning hell! - Waterford's burning hell!
17:27 - Thank you. - Screw ever working for them again.
17:31 - Oh, absolutely. Here, here. - Never.
17:34 You know, you're all very loyal, all of you.
17:38 Come here, come on. Group hug. Bring it in.
17:41 Have a look there. Sit down with all your group.
17:45 - Working hard, I see. - We've got a week.
17:48 Nothing quite hits the spot like a sausage, butty.
17:51 Mm, but which spot? Your arteries.
17:54 - No Cassie? - Er, not today, no.
17:57 - Shirking. - She went to a meeting.
18:00 - Mm, did she now? - Yeah.
18:02 - How long ago? - I don't know.
18:04 And where was the meeting?
18:06 See, if you're gonna do this, you've got to keep an eye on the detail.
18:09 What if he suddenly wanted to track her down?
18:11 I'll get that.
18:14 Look, she's doing all right. She helped us secure a really big contract for this place.
18:18 She always had her mouth on her.
18:21 I don't know why she got that.
18:23 - I'm just saying she's trying really hard. - Yeah, I'll go and get her.
18:26 - I'm glad to hear it. - Sorry.
18:28 It's for you. It's the police.
18:31 What did the registrar say? Is everything OK?
18:36 - No. - Well, what happened?
18:39 I wanted "O Happy Day" as our exit music.
18:42 You can't have religious music in a civil cell.
18:45 - Since when? - Since forever.
18:48 I'm sorry to hear that.
18:50 Right, give me the number. I'll have a word with him.
18:52 You know, give him a bit of the old Bernardine sweet talk.
18:56 - That's not gonna work, ma'am. - Fine.
18:58 I'll have a word with the big fella himself.
19:00 Look, honestly, Bernie, it's fine.
19:04 Is it? Is it really?
19:06 Look, can we just drop this, please,
19:09 and just enjoy our magical day for what it is?
19:12 Right. Well, I can't stand around here all day getting even more depressed.
19:20 I'm off to see Stephen.
19:22 If I had a Stephen, I'd be off to see him and all.
19:25 - Oh, I've got to tell you something, actually. - What's up?
19:28 We're off to Thailand for two weeks.
19:31 Wow. OK.
19:33 Yeah, him and Rita twisted my arm.
19:36 That's amazing.
19:38 Rovers, smovers.
19:40 Well, we just thought we deserved a break.
19:42 Another one.
19:44 And it might help clear my head a bit.
19:47 Yeah, well, why not, eh?
19:49 Right, well, I will... I will see you all later.
19:54 - Bye. - Ta-ra.
19:56 - Ta-ra. - See you.
19:58 - Glenda. - What?
20:02 I'm jealous. I'm not ashamed to admit it.
20:05 I'm dead happy for her.
20:07 I'm marginally happy for her.
20:09 Oh, still got to shift all this lot.
20:12 I don't suppose anyone fancies helping me lug this all on the tram over to George's.
20:16 - Sorry. - Yeah, I'd say it better than that.
20:19 Hey.
20:22 I'm not being funny,
20:24 but is it just my true crime antenna going off like the clappers?
20:27 Eh?
20:29 It's not as booner as Jenny's ex-fella's body rocked up,
20:32 but she's smoothing off with a new one.
20:34 You're bad.
20:36 That is not funny. In fact, it's entirely inappropriate.
20:39 Do not say anything like that to Jenny.
20:41 Of course not. I'm pulling your leg.
20:44 Not me searching expedition laws in Thailand.
20:47 - Stop it. - She's doing the same, aren't you?
20:50 What are you emailing them for?
20:54 - It's private. - Who?
20:57 Gem.
20:59 Right, don't go off on one, yeah?
21:02 I've put my name in for the deputy manager's role.
21:05 Hi.
21:19 Hiya.
21:21 Listen, erm...
21:23 I'm sorry about before.
21:25 Darren's a nightmare.
21:27 OK. Where's my son?
21:29 - Upstairs. - Upstairs.
21:31 Well, that's good. That's, er... That's good.
21:35 - Are you all right? - No, I'm good. I'm, er...
21:38 Can I, er...
21:40 - Yeah? - Thank you.
21:43 I've got something here.
21:49 OK.
21:54 Blimey! How much is that?
21:56 - 5K. - 5K?
21:59 - What's it for? - It's for you.
22:02 Right.
22:05 No.
22:08 No, because you need to leave.
22:11 - Sorry, what? - You need to pack your bags and go.
22:16 Leave my son alone.
22:19 What's happening?
22:21 Well, this is a bit awkward.
22:23 Are you going to tell him what's in the envelope, Dev?
22:26 Hello? Anybody home?
22:28 I'll tell him then. Shall I?
22:31 Your dad. And this is what type of man he is.
22:35 He's a man of his word.
22:37 He's a man of his word.
22:39 He's a man of his word.
22:41 He's a man of his word.
22:43 He's a man of his word.
22:45 Your dad. And this is what type of man he is.
22:48 He's trying to get me to take £5,000 off him.
22:52 Hmm?
22:53 So we can pay for the deposit and the first three months' rent on the flat.
22:57 Are you OK? Have you had a bang on the head or something?
23:01 I know. How generous is that?
23:04 I don't know what to say. I'll pay you back, OK?
23:07 Oh, no, no, no, no. This is the best part.
23:10 He doesn't want it back.
23:12 He said it's a gift, not a loan.
23:15 And he was very, very insistent on that.
23:18 Weren't you, Devi?
23:20 You know me.
23:22 You've defo had a bang on the head.
23:24 I'm joking. But thank you. Seriously.
23:27 £5,000! Wow!
23:30 I'll take it now, then, shall I?
23:32 I'll call the landlord, see if we can move in today.
23:35 Might have enough for a week away somewhere.
23:38 Look, Dad, I know you've been worried about me.
23:41 I just... I can't believe just how generous you've been.
23:44 Honestly. It means a lot.
23:46 OK.
23:48 I love Jenny, I do.
23:57 I need a job.
23:59 What, you and everyone else?
24:01 Is that about a bit workplace solidarity, eh?
24:03 It was good enough a match of the day when Watter's name got suspended.
24:06 Yeah, Jimmy Hill.
24:08 You've not watched that for quite a while, have you?
24:10 I'm an Everton fan.
24:12 Gary Lineker. Didn't see the rest of him queuing up to take his job, did you?
24:16 What? What's this?
24:18 And Spartacus here has put a name forward for the deputy manager role.
24:22 It's out-personal. I need the money.
24:24 Out-personal?
24:26 Like it's not embarrassing enough that a woman of her age has to apply for a demotion?
24:30 Thanks for that, love.
24:34 Er, I've just remembered I've got to be somewhere.
24:37 I'll see you later, yeah?
24:39 Oh, Jenny, don't be like that!
24:41 Now look what you've done.
24:43 Do you know what?
24:58 I'm actually going to miss living here.
25:01 Are you going to miss me?
25:03 You think you're pretty clever, don't you?
25:08 Not particularly, but I suppose it's all relative.
25:11 Do you have any, er, morals?
25:14 Says the man who's just offered me 5K to break up with his son.
25:18 Yeah, but you took it, didn't you?
25:20 No, I did you a favour.
25:22 I can always tell him the truth.
25:24 Ardy! Have you got a sec, babe?
25:29 Still on the phone.
25:31 Can you come down?
25:33 Very good.
25:35 Sam.
25:39 It was, er, definitely Darren's money, wasn't it?
25:43 Yeah.
25:45 Oh, I knew it.
25:47 Do you know what? I wish I could be there to see his face when you tell him he's paying for our little love nest.
25:52 Sounds a bit sordid, doesn't it?
25:55 Actually, it is a bit sordid when you think about it.
25:59 Two angry little men trying to buy me off.
26:03 Talk about toxic masculinity.
26:05 Honey, the only thing toxic around here is you.
26:07 Hmm?
26:08 Well, luckily, true love always finds a way.
26:12 True love.
26:14 We can sign for the flat this afternoon and be in Bari end of the day.
26:19 That's brilliant, babe.
26:21 You'll have to come round and see it.
26:22 I will. Come here.
26:24 And thanks again, Debbie.
26:26 Don't be a stranger.
26:28 You don't have to go.
26:37 I don't want to interrupt you.
26:38 I'll call him back later.
26:40 Are you OK?
26:46 You barely said a word.
26:48 Yeah, I'm good.
26:50 You're not really, are you?
26:52 I mean, you're being great about it,
26:54 but I know you're goaded we can't get married with all the bells and whistles.
26:58 Is it what they are?
27:00 In the eyes of God, you know what I mean.
27:02 Don't worry about it.
27:04 Hmm.
27:06 When you're praying, do you feel like he's listening?
27:12 I do, yeah.
27:14 I don't think I've prayed since I was, like, six.
27:18 No, we can pray together, if you like.
27:21 He won't even know who I am.
27:23 Remember me?
27:25 He'll know.
27:27 Come, let's give it a go.
27:29 I don't know.
27:31 What have you got to lose?
27:33 Ready?
27:41 I don't know what to wish for.
27:46 He's not the genie in Aladdin.
27:49 Not wish? Say, then. I don't know what to say.
27:52 You don't have to say anything. You can pray in silence.
27:56 OK.
27:59 Here we go.
28:01 I feel stupid.
28:08 It's OK.
28:11 I'm sorry.
28:13 And I'm sorry we can't get married in a church.
28:16 We don't need to go over all this again.
28:19 Sometimes in life you have to compromise.
28:24 It's fine.
28:26 I have made peace with it.
28:28 This time tomorrow...
28:31 ..you are going to be my husband.
28:35 Hmm. That is all that matters to me.
28:39 Hmm.
28:43 I'm sorry.
28:45 Before we talk about the STC, do you fancy getting something to eat?
28:53 No, I'm not hungry, mate. Thanks.
28:56 It's like a bad first date.
29:03 Thanks very much. So, tell me about yourself.
29:07 I'm Daniel. I'm 28. I'm a Capricorn.
29:10 - I'm a guy off. - No.
29:12 Right, you're a DJ. Here's an icebreaker for you. OK.
29:15 OK. Best run on albums, I'll start.
29:19 R.E.M., everything from Murmur to New Adventures in Hi-Fi.
29:25 Ten great albums, with Life's Rich Pageant being a high point.
29:29 Well, if anyone knows all about Life's Rich Pageant...
29:32 So, have you been invited to this wedding tomorrow?
29:38 - Yeah. - Mm-hm.
29:40 Well, we obviously haven't got your pull, have we?
29:43 It's a gay wedding.
29:46 You could probably charge for a personal appearance, actually.
29:50 The Adonis from Ovid's.
29:52 Well, at least people aren't just talking about me scars now, eh?
29:55 So, erm...
29:59 - No, go on. - OK.
30:02 So, how much do you make from doing this video thing?
30:06 - Ask him for a friend. - Oh, yeah.
30:08 Stick to teaching, mate.
30:10 You know what? I actually will have something to eat,
30:13 and I'm going to go for Stevie Wonder.
30:15 Best run of albums from 1970 to '80,
30:17 everything from Sideseal to Live In to Hotter Than July.
30:20 Can I just say you've gone up massively in my summations?
30:24 You have no idea how much that means to me.
30:27 It's not my phone, it's my brother's.
30:29 The police have got no idea who took it.
30:31 - It's a miracle you got it back. - I'll ask him.
30:34 I couldn't have done with a payout more.
30:36 It's insurance. They want to know the registration number.
30:39 Well, it's there. N900JOO.
30:42 It says it's N900JOO.
30:45 N.
30:47 - Running on, eh? - N for Nigel.
30:50 Oh, I can't do this phonetics thing.
30:53 Yes, 00...
30:55 No, yeah. And then J00.
30:58 What do you mean, J for what? J!
31:03 For the Jackson 5.
31:05 And then O for orange.
31:08 And O...
31:10 for another orange.
31:12 The Jackson 5.
31:14 Well, why don't you answer your own phone next time,
31:16 cos I'm not your secretary.
31:18 Hello?
31:19 - Put me on hold. - I'll stick the kettle on.
31:23 So, I bet you thought Cassie was up to her old tricks
31:28 when police called.
31:31 - Yeah. - It's all right. I'm not having a go.
31:34 I definitely thought it was Cassie.
31:37 Then maybe. We all need to start trusting her, eh?
31:40 Oh, you're not asking for much there, are you?
31:43 - All set? - I'm leaving home.
31:49 I can't believe it.
31:50 I suppose there comes a time when every boy has to become a man.
31:53 Under-11 golf classic. You taking that?
31:58 First thing I ever won. I was only seven.
32:01 - They won't take up much room. - I thought you sold your Xbox.
32:04 At some point, I'm going to get another one.
32:06 Obviously, there's more important things to pay for first.
32:09 - You know, the rent... - So I've been looking at city breaks to Nice.
32:12 My dad gave us that money for the flat.
32:14 If he thinks I'm blowing it on a jolly...
32:17 I was still with Darren. I'd be packing to go to Corsica right now.
32:21 Wait, you're right.
32:23 I'm being selfish.
32:25 We've got to start being more sensible.
32:27 Save them pennies.
32:29 Maybe we can go away next year or... the year after.
32:32 We might be able to do a weekend in Nice.
32:35 A long weekend, are you sure?
32:37 I didn't say long, but... yeah.
32:39 - Right. - Any chance you could help me with...
32:41 Better get looking at them flights.
32:43 Babe, can you get my big suitcase, please?
32:46 (Door closes)
32:48 Where's Rit?
33:03 She's out gallivanting.
33:05 She's got a much better social life than I have.
33:07 Aye.
33:09 Mind you, that won't be hard.
33:11 (Sighs)
33:14 (Sighs)
33:15 I'm sorry about the job.
33:17 It's fine.
33:19 I probably won't even get it.
33:21 That's the only reason I didn't tell you.
33:23 Listen, you've got as much right to go for that job as anybody else.
33:27 And will you stop putting yourself down?
33:29 You'd make a great deputy manager.
33:32 I'm not even sure if I want the job.
33:34 All that stress, responsibility.
33:38 I like to switch off when I get in front of a boy, you.
33:42 I've got nothing else going on in her life.
33:44 Yeah, you can handle all the stress, all the responsibility.
33:48 (Sighs)
33:49 You was born to manage, Jenny, and you know why?
33:52 Cos you are a people person.
33:55 I'm not. I hate people.
33:58 People are the worst.
34:00 Seriously, Jen, you've got to go for it.
34:04 (Sighs)
34:06 I don't know. You know, Daisy's got a point.
34:09 It's pretty embarrassing having to apply for a demotion.
34:12 But when they see how good you are,
34:14 they'll be begging you to take your old job back.
34:17 You can rehire all the old bar staff.
34:20 You want to get the band back together, don't you?
34:23 So?
34:28 She didn't take the money?
34:32 No, I mean, yeah, I mean, she took the money
34:35 and then she, like, pulled, like, this fast one.
34:37 And she told Olly that it was, like, a gift from me
34:39 for a deposit for a flat, and then how...
34:41 How could I tell him the truth?
34:42 You clown. I'm sorry?
34:44 Not half as sorry as your son's going to be.
34:46 You know, maybe they're going to make a go of this.
34:48 They won't. I left my wife for Courtney.
34:52 I mean, looking back, as soon as we had to stop sneaking around,
34:55 that's when she lost interest.
34:57 She will chew your lad up and spit him out.
35:00 So if you want to save him some heartache,
35:02 I'd find a way to split him up.
35:04 Oh, and you owe me five grand.
35:07 You know what? I... I will do the talk for the STC.
35:23 Seriously? Yeah.
35:25 That's great.
35:27 How are you chicken with?
35:28 Lovely, Ed. Do you want to try one?
35:30 No, thanks.
35:31 Do you want some of my chorizo?
35:33 Absolutely.
35:35 Nice one.
35:37 Hiya.
35:39 Uh, hi.
35:41 Your dad said you'd be here.
35:43 How's it going?
35:45 Going really well, isn't it?
35:46 Definitely going to see each other again.
35:49 He's going to do the talk at the STC.
35:52 OK. That's great.
35:54 Yeah.
35:56 Let's just, er, let's get going.
35:58 No, no, stay. Come on, join us.
36:01 We're all friends here.
36:03 Would you think about doing this more often?
36:05 Hey, someone left a harness in the bedroom.
36:12 Very kinky.
36:14 Yeah, the last tenant had MND.
36:16 No.
36:18 Don't I feel really bad now?
36:20 So what do you think?
36:21 Well, it hasn't got any better since the last time I saw her.
36:25 It's cosy, isn't it?
36:26 Mm.
36:27 You couldn't swing a cat in here, though it looks like someone's tried to.
36:31 I'm such a snob.
36:32 Hey, do you know, I grew up in a place like this, you know?
36:35 Huh?
36:37 They eat social workers for breakfast.
36:39 Look, I know it's not the best, but we'll get you looking nice, won't we?
36:47 And we can shut the door.
36:49 There'll be just you and me.
36:51 No-one to bother us.
36:55 Oh, what's that?
36:57 They're playing our song.
36:58 We haven't got a song.
37:00 We do now.
37:02 It's impossible not to dance to this.
37:06 Turn it down!
37:12 Babe, go next door and tell them to turn it down.
37:16 What for? They're bigger than me.
37:17 That's a banger, to be fair, though, isn't it?
37:19 You're an idiot.
37:23 Ooh!
37:24 I'm not sure about this. It just feels a bit...
37:31 I am gonna go before you get all lovey-dovey.
37:36 I don't want you to think that I'm gonna be disappointed
37:43 or that this is in any way second best
37:46 because I'm not getting married in a church.
37:49 Tomorrow is going to be perfect, OK?
37:52 And the reason it's gonna be perfect is because I am marrying you.
37:58 Right, back out of here.
38:00 Anyway, I've got a feeling God'll be there tomorrow.
38:03 Really? Well, if he told Bernie, cos he's not on the seating plan.
38:06 He's gonna be there with you.
38:11 I know he is.
38:13 I love you.
38:17 What are you doing?
38:19 Is there any way for an archdeacon to behave?
38:21 I love you too.
38:25 Now get lost.
38:27 If I'd known you was gonna fiddle with your own car,
38:35 I would have given you the day off.
38:37 I'm just checking the engine.
38:39 No good.
38:40 What, you can hear it?
38:41 Purring like a kitten.
38:43 Talking of days off, we've got this meeting with Alan's tomorrow.
38:46 He's gonna talk cabs.
38:48 Might be a good idea if your mum has the day off.
38:51 I know she's great and everything, but she's not a mechanic, so...
38:55 Why don't you just come out and say it, mate?
38:57 You think she's gonna make a pig's ear of it?
38:59 No, no, it's just... It's a big deal, this contract.
39:02 We wouldn't have this meeting in the first place if it wasn't for my mum.
39:05 I know, I know.
39:06 Everybody's gotta stop thinking she's gonna mess up all the time, right?
39:09 Me included, OK? She won't.
39:11 I mean it, she won't let us down.
39:13 It's on you if she does.
39:16 Thank you for agreeing to see me.
39:22 I know you're a busy man, so I'll cut straight to the chase.
39:26 I'd like to be considered for the job of deputy manager.
39:31 As you know, I've been landlady for the last five years,
39:34 so I've got all the experience you need.
39:37 Managing staff, taking deliveries, stock control, running the kitchen,
39:43 events, marketing, you name it.
39:46 Erm... It's been a while since I've done a CV.
39:51 I think I wrote the last one with a quill.
39:54 But it's all in there.
39:58 I could email you a copy.
40:00 Stock control?
40:02 Mm?
40:03 There wasn't much control of the stock last night.
40:06 You and your friends have pretty much drunk the place dry.
40:09 Yeah, sorry about that.
40:13 But, you know, people have lost their jobs.
40:17 Everyone's been very stressed.
40:19 In the circumstances, I'm sure you can understand why we had a bit of a blowout.
40:23 You're lucky we don't bill you for the cost.
40:26 I'm wasting my time, aren't I?
40:28 Fair enough, but this is on me, yeah?
40:34 I told people that they could fill the boot,
40:36 so there's no reason to take it out on anybody else.
40:39 Neither you nor any members of your staff will ever be employed by Waterford again.
40:43 And if I see you on the premises, I will call the police.
40:47 Hiya. Right, this better be important.
40:53 I've just had a full wax for tomorrow.
40:55 Oh, come on, sit down.
40:57 I'm not sure I can, love. Have you got any nappy cream?
41:00 Well, there's an image I won't get out of my head.
41:02 Right, thanks for coming.
41:04 What's this all about, mate?
41:07 I, um... I'm going to need some help for tomorrow.
41:10 Oh, see? I told you he'd come back for his little snow globe.
41:18 You got this on the school trip to Chester Zoo, didn't you?
41:21 No, it's a real man of the world.
41:23 Can see what Courtney sees in him.
41:25 Can't believe you really moved in with her.
41:27 I know what I'm doing.
41:29 No, you don't.
41:31 See, I've been talking to Darren, this is what that Courtney does.
41:34 She meets a new fella, then she gets bored,
41:36 and then she moves on to the next one.
41:38 Darren told you this? And the next one, and the next one.
41:41 She's what my mother would call a scarlet woman,
41:43 and so you know what that is.
41:45 If that's what you think, why did you give me the money?
41:48 What money?
41:50 Why do you think?
41:52 You were trying to pay her off, weren't you?
41:56 I'm trying to stop you from getting hurt.
41:58 One more word! She's using you, son.
42:01 You know what? Forget it. You were worth ten of her...
42:04 It was mortifying. I was mortified.
42:08 I don't want one, but thanks for asking.
42:10 Totally and utterly mortified.
42:13 Yes, I think I've got that now.
42:15 Look, there'll be other jobs.
42:18 Oh, why, yeah, cos I can't move for job offers, me.
42:21 Were you serious yesterday about flying off to Thailand and starting again?
42:26 Yes, it's the perfect place. I know people who've moved there.
42:29 They told me there's tonnes of great business opportunities.
42:32 You really think you can make a killing over there?
42:35 I can have a go.
42:37 You're serious about starting again?
42:39 Well, there's nothing keeping us here, is there?
42:41 Well, what about your family?
42:43 They're used to me living all over the world.
42:46 Are you serious? Now, that's the real question.
42:49 Yeah. Yeah, maybe I am.
42:54 But that's not the wine talking?
42:57 No, no.
43:00 No, but I can... I can definitely see the attraction, yeah.
43:05 Just let me think about it.
43:08 You're already backtracking. What's there to think about?
43:12 It's not doing you any good staying here,
43:15 obsessing over Leo and Teddy and clinging to ghosts.
43:19 They have the internet in Thailand. You'll still find out what happened to them.
43:22 But you need to get away for your own sanity.
43:26 You're right. Let's just get out of here.
43:33 Our brand-new dating show sees a group of single parents
43:45 enter a retreat in the hope of finding love,
43:47 whilst unaware of their grown-up kids pulling the strings.
43:50 Stream My Mum, You're Dead now on ICBX.
43:53 Next year on ICB1, Grand Slammers.
43:56 (upbeat music)