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00:00 Cosmo the Mighty Martian, issue 2.
00:03 There's some redundant dialogue just recapping that Orbeez kidnapped, but at least it makes Cosmo sympathetic that he has a headache.
00:11 Probably from the previous loud action scene.
00:14 Why should I sympathize with Astro when she does nothing but acts like she hates her friends?
00:20 She asks him if the headache's from stress, but the writing gets more complicated than that because it's different than normal, but also familiar.
00:29 Creating a mystery because he doesn't immediately explain why it's familiar.
00:35 What's wrong with her for screaming at someone with a headache?
00:38 Why is she accusing him of not paying attention and victim blaming and frapping to worry?
00:44 Why am I supposed to care about her after this?
00:48 She says for no reason that the team needs Cosmo to keep his eyes on the road.
00:53 Fortunately, the comic doesn't refrain from having comedy at her expense because the spaceship gets too close to Jupiter's rings.
01:01 It sure looks like Jupiter.
01:03 He teased her for being bad as a pilot by not paying attention in the middle of a lecture to him about not paying attention.
01:10 He laughs, and rather than making herself look likable by owning up to her mistake, she tells him to get out and drives over the rings faster on purpose.
01:20 Why would she drive on the rings at all instead of making the spaceship go up?
01:25 The first two pages have been a blatant waste of comic space, and even Orby had noticed that they have a bumpy relationship.
01:33 Max comforts the pet that Orby will be fine.
01:37 He can't honestly say that Orby's smart, strong, or brave.
01:41 And as I wonder why he was with them then, he offers the pet some peanut butter.
01:47 Then somehow he asks him if he is a dog after all of his time knowing him.
01:52 Cosmo mentions some alien food that would only be interesting if we saw it.
01:57 And it's a gibberish means nothing.
01:59 And after a boring chat with him, out of nowhere he gets a vision and says Orby and something else are on Saturn.
02:06 And it's implied all Martians get those plot convenience visions.
02:11 It sure would be bad dialogue if it created a false impression.
02:14 Would it suck if someone got one of those visions while driving, or operating heavy machinery, or operating on someone?
02:21 What's wrong with keeping it simple and immediately explaining only he has these visions?
02:26 Even then, him being a Martian doesn't explain it.
02:30 Just keep it simple and say "psychic".
02:32 That's creative.
02:34 So is being an alien causing psychicness, but it's not good.
02:37 He also used his power to find the hidden ball to win a three cup game.
02:42 What does that mean he can choose to get insight into the present too at will?
02:47 Meaning he can learn any information he wants at any time?
02:50 Couldn't that be overpowered?
02:51 And what does that have to do with seeing the future?
02:53 Because based on the fact that there's yellow flashes of light to the sides of his eyes, it looks like he's seeing the present.
03:02 I hope the original Cosmo comic had him be psychic too, or this is just another time where his writing is convoluted.
03:09 Their spaceship shows up at a planet, and the pilot plans on drawing the patrol ships away.
03:15 Pods get dropped, and I'm expected to believe the heroes would be perfectly unharmed after the things they were in crash landed on a hard surface from a huge height.
03:25 This would only make sense if the pods could slow down their fall.
03:29 But based on the sound effect and the unrealistic flashes of light, it looks like they crashed into metal.
03:35 Madola reveals that Max is wearing a spacesuit to protect himself from the atmosphere.
03:41 First, this should have been explained in issue one.
03:45 Second, what are the chances that only he would need a spacesuit?
03:50 It is explained that the others are also wearing spacesuits, which regulate everything through a biostasis field.
03:58 Which should be explained as being created by a witch, because otherwise I'm as skeptical of that hand wave as Max is drawn to look.
04:05 If you know your writing makes no sense and write it anyways, and it's not supposed to be just a comedy, why even take the job at all if you don't care?
04:12 Why is Max even asking why his friends don't need helmets if he's been on many adventures with them before this?
04:19 For the same reason, it doesn't make sense that he points out that the pet's only wearing a collar.
04:24 It's not like they just met him.
04:26 I have to just assume that Cosmo's lazy response means that a biostasis field is part of his pet's alien biology, because he's magical.
04:36 Meanwhile, Shiz's bored at Orby doing nothing but making pointless confessions that only normal kids would make.
04:43 Aside from the one where he says he asks Madola to make a time machine to go back and do all of his other homework.
04:50 First off, if she can make a time machine, why doesn't she effortlessly use it to defeat the main villain?
04:57 Get rid of her as a baby.
04:59 Or if that's too hardcore for her, redo all of the missions of the team every time they do badly at one.
05:05 Why doesn't she use it to go back before Orby was kidnapped to save him?
05:09 It has to be that she never did make the time machine, and he's confessing this because he feels guilty that he asked her to waste her time, or wasted her time just by asking for the impossible.
05:19 But you need to clarify this or else we've got a franchise destroying lying.
05:24 It's bad enough there was a time machine RG Sonic twice, and it wasn't you, son, do everything Robotnik did with no explanation.
05:31 If he meant it this way, he'd be clarifying that.
05:34 Shiz tells him that when she said tell her everything, she meant everything important.
05:40 She would've known to be more specific.
05:43 What did she expect?
05:45 She looks at her glove, and for no reason, she learns that her minions got back with something of value.
05:51 Why are minions named after a horrible food?
05:54 And then the writer proves he wrote himself into a corner because she somehow says Orby's not worth wasting that for Deedee on.
06:02 Imagine if Robotnik said that one of his main enemies was not worth roboticizing, and didn't have a plan to kill him instead.
06:10 And it's not like she has a heart, because she mutated everyone else around her.
06:15 You'd think that him annoying her would make her even more likely to mutate him out of anger.
06:20 How about don't write him to get kidnapped if you don't want to write him getting mutated and won't make the heroes save him faster.
06:26 Max calls his pet Buddy, and I wonder how Shiz can't hear him.
06:31 For all I know, the mutants are deaf, but she'd turn around.
06:34 How did not realize that you have to make those whispering text bubbles?
06:39 Why is there so much baffling incompetency?
06:42 Cosmo says that while he'd love to fight her, they're gonna play this safe and focus on saving Orby first.
06:48 And how do they know he hasn't already been mutated?
06:51 They're in denial.
06:53 Max makes me wonder if he's foreshadowing that the new ray guns won't work.
06:57 Medulla says they will because of the downloads.
07:00 She's asked when she slept between then and now, and says she didn't in a gross-out panel.
07:06 Unappealing looking art is part of why I stopped wanting to watch Spongebob.
07:11 I don't think it had to be explained that she didn't sleep for this to make sense.
07:15 And if anything, it makes the story even less logical because she hasn't acted sleepy in the story.
07:21 And it'll be even more insulting if she never does.
07:24 When Romy Chacon wrote Sonic to act sleepy, at least for a minute after he stayed awake all night, Sonic Boom did this better.
07:33 So that's not worth the fact that it makes it more realistic and oppressive that she developed these weapons in hours.
07:39 At least it looks creative that Cosmo and Max spray the mutants with mustard and ketchup to cure them.
07:45 But if that's all it is, then why did it take Medulla 8 hours to make mustard and ketchup?
07:52 She has to mean it took her 8 hours to figure out it was that.
07:56 Also, a bunch of aliens could have easily not recognized mustard and ketchup.
08:01 It's probably forced that Max used to put those condiments on his salad.
08:06 It's really forced that he calls his mom "Mother".
08:10 If it's that easy to deal with a mutant, Orbee could have been mutated.
08:14 Cosmo presses a button on a wall in a dark room.
08:18 I guess the reason he doesn't go into it first to look at the wall to make sure he sees what he's pressing is that he wants to be careful in case there's danger in the room and turn the light on as fast as possible.
08:29 There's a button to activate a disco ball in the room.
08:33 Even though this is an alien spaceship, so it's unlikely that the maker of it would know about disco.
08:39 But it's still possible that this species of alien has its own disco that's currently popular because they are aliens.
08:46 What's really forced is Orbee saying he'd rather be a mutant than be injected with disco fever.
08:53 His version of Earth is far into the future, so for him to still hate disco,
08:59 Disco would have to be a far more recent thing in his culture that happens when Earth was at a more futuristic point than ours.
09:06 Otherwise, he wouldn't hate disco because it wasn't around when it was more popular,
09:11 and wouldn't get why people jump on a hate bandwagon against it when there's worse musical genres.
09:18 Either way, he wouldn't prefer being turned into a mutant over hearing music he hates and being made to like it.
09:24 I don't see the point of not turning him into a mutant if they can easily return him to normal anyways.
09:30 Cosmo isn't relatable as he doesn't question why there's a disco ball button in an interrogation room of all places.
09:37 He just asks him if he's okay and presses a button to release him.
09:42 She should have anticipated that he'd come here to save him, and instead of a button press being able to release him,
09:49 it could have required him to identify her with a retina scan.
09:53 Then he would have had to properly earn saving him by tackling her and having Max carry her to the chair.
10:00 But instead I'm not impressed.
10:02 What was even the point of having Orbee get kidnapped if it was so easy?
10:06 Why is Orbee in pain and chafed?
10:09 The pet shows he loves him and he thanks him and hugs him, calling him "buddy".
10:13 There's more nonsensical dialogue as he says he can't maintain his helmet hair without this.
10:19 Cosmo apologizes to him for losing him on Ceres.
10:23 It's hard to remember that he was on Ceres as he didn't take advantage of it being Ceres specifically.
10:29 He didn't take advantage of it being an alien planet either.
10:32 The monsters could have been written to be on Earth and it'd make just as much sense. He didn't even have to be on an alien world.
10:39 That's why I didn't play the music I usually play for alien planets.
10:43 They're in alien places, but it's just for action scenes.
10:47 I hate that he says "ha ha what" because it reminds me of when Tails said that to Amy.
10:52 It makes me think it's just a dumb, lame meme. And it's out of place here.
10:57 At least show self-awareness saying they shouldn't need to be rescued all the time.
11:02 The concept of Orbee being kidnapped could have stretched on through the entire miniseries with him being in a constantly moving spaceship the whole time.
11:10 Instead, the only really important conflict that can be resolved has already been resolved.
11:16 The concept of the villains being able to mutate people into their slaves feels like a permanent premise thing.
11:22 So that's not enough to hold my attention for an entire comic. Because now that they can do that, there's probably no way the heroes will ever be able to make them unable to do it again.
11:32 But I assume if they do come up with a new conflict, it's not gonna be extremely lazy.
11:38 Cosmo calls some buddy and he calls some pal for giving him for getting him kidnapped and they shake hands.
11:44 I don't know why Cosmo is entirely taking responsibility for not preventing his kidnapping,
11:49 when I just thought it was Orbee's fault for not instantly shooting his enemy. And Orbee should have said that.
11:55 And if Cosmo's blaming himself, he might as well blame Max too while he's at it. He was next to him.
12:00 The former mutants tell them to help the others because Ch'u has them building a ship.
12:05 I have to assume that she had the mutagen modified so that it'd give them knowledge of how to build a ship.
12:11 Because it's not something anybody could do. If the mutagen is literally just a mineral, then it has to be that the mineral shines on a liquid that can then be modified.
12:22 Because how could you modify a mineral so that it gives somebody knowledge that they wouldn't normally have?
12:29 This would make more sense if they were just robots because then you could just send information to their databanks.
12:35 It turns out Cosmo can call Astra by putting his finger on the black strap keeping his hat to his head.
12:42 I have to assume he turns on the call feature with mere thought, since there isn't simply a button on the hat.
12:48 This just rips off Mega Man, which had to make more sense. But at least it makes the heroes look competent for once.
12:55 I'd rather Madolla if she made the hat.
12:57 It could take advantage of the monsters being monsters instead of robots by having them have special abilities only when they're mutants.
13:05 Otherwise, he might as well just be Robians.
13:07 It's weird that Cosmo doesn't really explain why he wants Astra to wait before picking him up, and it's just vague.
13:14 Considering her tendency to nag him, why does he think she'll just agree?
13:19 He thanks her and asks Madolla if she recognizes that type of ship.
13:24 Of course she would.
13:26 Max thinks his plan is the only one that matters.
13:29 The concept of a hero being friends with someone who eventually turns out to want to take over the world has already been done in Avatar The Last Airbender because
13:39 the ancestor of the Fire Lord, who first began conquest, was friends with the previous Avatar.
13:46 Orbe points out She to his friends.
13:49 I again wonder why She and her minions aren't hearing them then.
13:52 She would have her hearing impaired a little by her headset, but not that much when they're still in the same room as her.
13:58 But they could explain that it was impaired by her headset.
14:02 I mean, it's an alien headset.
14:04 I could believe that it would cancel out noise better.
14:08 That just reminds me that wearing a headset too long hurts your ears, so she wouldn't always wear it.
14:14 The mutants found another Martian relic for the queen.
14:18 She doesn't get the chance to finish her forced exposition to mindless mutants before mutants get sprayed.
14:24 You'd think that the heroes would have either sprayed them the instant they saw them bring her something,
14:29 or waited until after she was finished talking first, because this way they don't get to find out what the queen was going to do with this.
14:37 Instead, the heroes assume she's just trying to collect relics, even though she said "with this,"
14:44 talking as if she could do something special with it.
14:48 It'd actually be more creative if all she was trying to do was collect them, because she likes archaeological relics, and that's it.
14:56 The heroes getting down safely is justified by them holding a stretched out tail and neck of their pet, which gets them closer to the floor.
15:04 So that's creative, even if it kinda reminds me of Tangle.
15:09 The werehog didn't have a stretchy neck. I doubt he knows about Ronald the Rubber Boy.
15:15 Why is she even bothering to try to give them orders instead of instantly attacking them?
15:20 Surely a battle princess would be trained to attack first.
15:24 Cosmo had no reason to talk to her while jumping at her from behind.
15:28 So thanks to that idiot bowl, she is given the warning to swat him to the wall with her cool electrified power glove.
15:35 Another thing taking advantage of her gimmick.
15:38 Her having only one personality trait beyond being evil makes her no better than one of the Zeti, but she's still more interesting than all of them.
15:46 But she's still more cringe-worthy than most of them to the point where I can't wait for her time in the comic to be done.
15:52 Then she looks like an amateur by wasting time talking in a battle while doing nothing.
15:57 You'd think this reckless boasting tendency would've been trained out of her.
16:02 Cosmo was actually smart enough to know he couldn't take her down with a tackle,
16:06 and instead it was just a distraction before his peck could bite her.
16:10 Orbe takes the relic, and I hope the artist will have the competence to show her sleeve as torn after that bite.
16:17 Though he could hand wave away that her clothes are hard to damage because she's an alien.
16:22 But without that being explained, most people wouldn't think of that and just think it's the artist being either unwilling to make it realistic or being forced to censor things.
16:32 Again, Cosmo and his friends all look like amateurs by wasting time instead of them all attacking her instantly.
16:39 He talks to her about stuff she should already know instead.
16:43 Since he said he would love to fight her, it makes no sense that he isn't fighting her instead.
16:49 And this is just reminding me of when the heroes in the Freedom Fighter base told Bean and Bark that they were outnumbered, and they actually surrendered.
16:58 So she has the time to shoot the top of Max's helmet off.
17:03 Again, some drama happens purely because of an idiot's ball forcing it.
17:07 Which means the drama just gets me angry at the writer.
17:10 This glove letter portal way just makes Starline look even less original.
17:14 It's IDW literally nothing but recycled ideas.
17:18 Wizards are better.
17:20 And all the time she spent threatening them, they would have time to attack her to prevent her from leaving.
17:26 You'd think the atmosphere would be toxic to Max to the point of getting him to die immediately.
17:31 Burning his skin.
17:33 So it wouldn't matter that he's holding his breath.
17:36 Somehow, Cosmo wastes valuable time just making a lame joke when his friend can only do this so long.
17:43 And Madula gets the idea out of nowhere to put the relic all over his spacesuit and take his helmet off.
17:49 Even though I said it'll be established later, she has no idea what the relic's actually for.
17:54 I assume this makes him able to breathe here because of a magic spell.
17:58 As he still has Earth's lungs.
18:01 He won't ask if this is actually worse.
18:03 Even if he thinks the relic is bad looking.
18:06 It's not like it's restraining his movement, so why does he care?
18:10 I wouldn't expect him to be fashion conscious.
18:13 He thanks her as the story ends.
18:15 How in the world did she know to do this with something she just saw?
18:20 To be fair, it's a relic from her home planet.
18:22 But she's an engineer, not an archaeologist.
18:25 Still, her knowing what the relic's supposed to do would make it more logical than her somehow getting the idea to do this when nobody would get the idea to do that.
18:33 Again, the writer writes himself into a corner.
18:35 If you don't want to kill him off, then don't write this to happen to him.
18:39 This issue by Ian Flynn is about Cosmo rescuing Orbea as effortlessly as possible, not even having to fight for it.
18:46 With him not even getting turned into a mutant for a second.
18:50 And it's not even worth it that he gets him back early, because all Orbea does is something anyone could have done.
18:56 The fight scene does have Cosmo show some intelligence, doing stuff he should have done in the first issue.
19:02 But it's so overshadowed by him and she acting like amateurs in the fight by wasting time talking without doing anything else.
19:09 Even though he had plenty of dangerous adventures before.
19:12 And she's a soldier who'd have been trained out of this.
19:16 Then because someone who said he'd love to fight her somehow didn't attack her and expected a person with a dangerous glove to just give up and let herself get taken prisoner.
19:27 She has time to damage Max's helmet and port it away yet again.
19:31 Luckily, it only benefits the heroes because Medulla conveniently knows she can use the relic to make Max able to breathe anywhere.
19:39 So that's nice.
19:41 But the comic made a mistake by having Orbea get rescued too early if he's not going to do anything.
19:46 Because now we have no reason to care about it anymore.
19:49 It's not like we're told that the villains have a new plan that can be stopped with them being made unable to try it again.
19:55 I can't understand why she was written to get away in the end.
19:58 Did the writer think we liked her?
20:00 She showed all the potential she had already.
20:03 And if not, you can use a different villain for that.
20:06 If this was Sonic the Comic, she would have gotten arrested in the first issue and the next issue would have had a different villain.