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00:00 Rick and Morty Heart of Rickness, issue 1.
00:03 It starts with Rick explaining that he wants someone who gave him good business to give him crystals already.
00:09 He's open-minded, and when Summer tells him the aliens let her join their chorus line,
00:15 the jerk whines because the arrangement was for Rick to meet with him by himself.
00:20 So he idiotically insists that Summer is a spy because he whines about the most minor of real-life problems.
00:26 What makes it even more frustrating is that Rick does get a chance to explain himself properly,
00:32 meaning there's no excuse for him to order him to be killed anyways.
00:36 It isn't even explained that this guy's a king or something like that, so why should he be such a control freak?
00:42 It's not even explained why he'd care if they met alone or not.
00:46 Rick lampshades as he's running away with Summer that all she had to do was stay out of the way.
00:52 I assume she disobeyed because she got bored.
00:56 But she should've brought something to entertain herself with.
00:59 She always looks at her phone, so it's out of character for her not to just play a phone game instead if she's bored.
01:07 Nothing matters until Rick shoots a rope to make a big thing land and uses it for more cover.
01:13 Meanwhile, Morty thoughts of bringing his phone.
01:16 Rick reunites with him and tells him to drive, and by that I mean he runs holding a rickshaw.
01:21 Who is Rick to lecture him on what he watches anyways?
01:25 He said in an earlier issue that he's the pervert of his family.
01:29 Rick gets back to the spaceship and flies away.
01:32 Someone finally lampshades why he cares about these lazy MacGuffins since he'd already have a ton of crystals in the garage.
01:39 I guess he was too lazy to immediately tell them why he wanted the continuum crystals.
01:44 He says he's not just a collector, but doesn't get to explain himself properly to justify the plot.
01:51 You'd think we'd have been told why he wants the continuum crystals right away so we'd care about them.
01:57 But he is an anti-hero at best, so I understand if the point is not for us to root for him winning.
02:02 Instead of him simply explaining why he didn't summon a portal below the continuum crystals to make them fall into his garage when he could've used his portal gun to look for them and found them much safer,
02:13 there's an explosion and he says Kordo must've had someone plant a bomb while they were in the club.
02:19 So the spaceship crashes on another planet, and of course, they're all uninjured.
02:25 I guess Rick's too lazy to tell Summer why since she's surprised by this.
02:30 They'd only be fine if a stasis field activated upon the spaceship being in a crashing state.
02:36 So they see a castle with a flag with an R, so I assume a Rick's here because it's a work of fiction.
02:42 So far this story has just been annoying, but this might be interesting, even if it does just remind me of Rick and Morty Ever After which was also medieval.
02:50 Just because there's a castle, Rick assumes the people of this planet are slow on the evolutionary scale by centuries, even though it's also possible the planet forms sentient life centuries later.
03:01 Morty says that if the planet's backwards, why does it have wifi?
03:05 Eventually, go figure, Rick greets them, with a bunch of mad people behind him.
03:12 And he's a self-hating Rick.
03:14 He judgmentally says Rick is a slave to technology, which makes me wonder how Morty still has wifi.
03:21 Apparently there's just one tribe that rejected it.
03:24 The unlikable hypocrite brags for an overly long time that he's somehow better than him because he stupidly rejected gadgets,
03:31 ignoring the fact that medical technology is still going to be appealing to everyone.
03:37 And I'd have a hard time believing he wouldn't use it on himself.
03:40 He'd have to brainwash these people to make them agree with him.
03:44 He says the world that was here is gone, and he just used intellect alone.
03:49 Rick threatens him and gets interrupted, and the ray gun gets whipped out of his hand by a Morty.
03:54 It sure is inconvenient that he didn't have time to shoot him because he insisted on threatening him first.
04:00 Meanwhile, he was fine with shooting at evil Morty without threatening him first.
04:05 You know, Morty hated being in a primitive tribe in the Microverse episode of the show.
04:12 So why is this Morty fine with it? He must have been brainwashed too.
04:16 The other Morty calls them techno slaves, which reminds me of the echidnas that banned luxury technology.
04:22 So this tribe reminds me of the lost tribe of echidnas that had to abandon all of it.
04:27 If they didn't abandon technology, his scar could have been healed by now.
04:32 So far, I don't see the point of the issue because it's not really showing me anything new.
04:37 Beth and Jerry aren't happy to be alone together, which ignores the fact that their marriage has been better since the end of season 3.
04:45 So Jerry says they should check on the kids, and Beth says that's a great idea.
04:50 Beth says her dad's tracking device isn't showing up, and Rick was nice enough to tell her about it ahead of time.
04:56 It's for the unlikely event that he's captured and can kill and regenerate himself.
05:01 So this is working with the assumption that either he remade Operation Phoenix or he's another Rick who never acts it.
05:07 Why wouldn't the tracking device show up?
05:10 The other Rick is opposed to technology, so he wouldn't have "disabled" it, and we never saw him do anything like that.
05:19 Beth also establishes that Rick put a tracking device in his entire family, which Jerry is stupidly upset about instead of grateful.
05:26 So far, this is the only page showing off the brilliance writing I'm used to with this franchise.
05:31 It's awesome that Beth opens a portal planning to go save them, even if it's stupid of her that she doesn't seem to have any gadgets to protect herself with, like a force field generating belt.
05:42 I see she got her recklessness from Rick.
05:45 She ignores Jerry's reasoning that this is dangerous, and Jerry stupidly comes along with her, I assume out of loyalty and because he'd rather not live without her anyways.
05:55 He's fortunately written to lampshade that she's being just like Rick.
05:59 And again, her character development is emphasized because now she doesn't want to be compared to Rick, when before she wanted to be like him.
06:08 They go to another world, and someone asks if he can help them, and somehow he assumes they seem lost.
06:14 He's sadly rude to them because they're aliens, so why did he even offer to help?
06:19 He says they're at a luxurious spa resort, and plans to send them to a trash chute to remove them.
06:25 Beth awesomely stands up to him.
06:28 "Look, we wouldn't stay in this snooty uptight place if you paid us, alright?"
06:31 She says she came here looking for Rick Sanchez, so he seems to change his mind and tells them to follow him and tells his employee to prepare the VIP suite for a free stay.
06:42 As I'm still suspicious of them because usually Rick's considered a fugitive.
06:47 He says that he'll give them whatever they want, as Jerry has his hand on Beth's shoulder.
06:52 Beth says Rick can take care of himself.
06:55 What's really smart is, again, they seem defenseless.
06:58 Too defenseless to save Rick anyways.
07:01 So it's smarter for them to get a massage instead of risking their lives.
07:05 So Jerry says they'll get a massage for a few hours, and the hotel owner hopes they'll tell Rick what a wonderful time they had.
07:12 Then he suspiciously refuses to let them go in through a door.
07:15 So I guess this is something murdery he's covering up.
07:19 So that's hard to believe.
07:20 Either that or he doesn't want the aliens behind the door to discriminate against them.
07:26 Meanwhile, Rick and his family are in a pit and annoyingly argue as usual.
07:30 Rick admits that neither of them are stupid enough to get him killed, even though I'm sure they could be.
07:35 He says there's got to be some technology left on the planet.
07:38 No duh, it still has wifi.
07:41 Why does he think Rick's kids get rid of technology?
07:45 They could just send it through a portal.
07:47 Unlike in a comic without self-awareness, Rick lampshades Summer, stating the obvious.
07:52 Rick says the monsters are there to get out of here, and he's cool enough to stay fearless and smart enough to know that because the zombies are so rotten,
08:00 of course all he has to do is pull on an arm to take it off and use it as a weapon.
08:05 Then he uses a part of one of his enemies as a lasso that conveniently latches onto a sharp little rock that could have not been there,
08:13 so they could climb up it, as Summer realistically feels sick after this.
08:18 Why were the zombies ever seen as a proper threat if anybody who was going to be threatened by them would just do this to escape every time?
08:26 Rick points at a floating rock and assumes that that's a wizard's tower, and that it's the enemy this anti-technology Rick is afraid of.
08:35 50/50 chance that that's a Rick too.
08:38 His grandkids have the common sense to be upset with him because they'd rather just go home,
08:43 but Rick has every reason to be confident that he'll be fine after everything he made and accomplished.
08:49 He wants to kill the other Rick first before getting his grandkids home, since he's selfish and arrogant.
08:54 Reminded me of Eggman.
08:56 Sadly, that's the end of the story, because a wasted time and a pointless subplot.
09:01 This issue by Michael Morisse is about Rick's spaceship getting a bomb explode on it because of an overreacting control freak who wanted to punish him for a stupid reason,
09:11 thanks to Summer disobeying him since she somehow didn't bring her phone to entertain her.
09:16 I don't even know why he wanted to give him the crystals.
09:19 Their spaceship crashes into a planet.
09:22 There's no explanation for why Rick and his grandkids survive, or even why Rick was after the crystals that started this adventure,
09:29 let alone why he wasted time just asking for the crystals instead of portaling them straight to him.
09:35 And what's also frustrating is they meet another Rick who shunned technology for no reason to lead a tribe,
09:41 and he's so arrogant about it even though he must have used brainwashing tech to get these people on his side in the first place.
09:48 Why else would they give up their cushy lives?
09:51 If he hates technology because it backfired on him, that wasn't enough for the rest of the Ricks to hate it, so that shouldn't be his motive.
09:58 It makes sense if it's more that he brainwashed him against technology because he knew that it's better to live like this
10:03 than to constantly risk getting hurt or worse by his sci-fi adventures,
10:08 and he never experienced the microburst adventure that would cause him to get sick of living with the tribe.
10:14 The only enjoyable part of this issue is Beth being cool enough to portal to another planet to go look for Rick,
10:20 even if it's distracting how she's too dumb to bring a weapon and force field generator...somehow.
10:26 She gets sidetracked into going to a spa, so that was pointless so far.
10:31 And Rick cleverly uses the parts of the zombies in the pit to escape,
10:35 only for the story to end without a proper resolution because it wasted its panels in some places.
10:42 The worst part about Rick being captured is that with all of the times he suddenly reveals he has useful cybernetics,
10:48 I know he could have avoided being put in that pit.
10:51 Why didn't he send robotic aunts out of his back and use them to escape from them?
10:56 It'll be a while before I review the rest of this.
10:59 It seems like it's all gonna be bad.
11:01 And if I'm gonna review something bad, I have something else in mind.
11:05 Most importantly, this is the only issue that's on ReComicOnline, so I'd have to buy the rest of it.