Newbie's Perspective Sabrina the Animated Series Episodes 4-5 Reviews
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00:00 Sabrina Animated Series Episode 4
00:03 I never liked the female singing at the start of each episode.
00:07 Because it, like the intro song, just panders to girls and no one else.
00:12 While the 70s cartoon songs appeal to everyone.
00:16 Salem spins and crashes after calling for Sabrina.
00:20 Why didn't she use magic to save him?
00:23 Sabrina complains that it's not fair that she has to pay for a doll Salem broke.
00:29 And she should know that there's no way he could get the money himself.
00:33 Assuming that the family forbids him from simply zapping up gold and selling it.
00:38 It makes the plot force when it doesn't have to be.
00:41 And it's because of this, she wants a job.
00:44 Because she's too stupid to simply zap up a new version of the doll he broke.
00:50 It makes sense if her aunt told her to get a job to learn the value of a dollar.
00:56 And it'd only feel okay after I saw one of them zap up a copy of the doll.
01:00 At least that way, she wouldn't be forced to take forever earning enough money to buy a new doll.
01:05 Because she could be told to spend less time than that in the job.
01:09 I assume Quigley thinks that getting around this with magic is cheating.
01:14 And that's why she won't zap up gold and sell it.
01:18 The point is, why do you have to have a needlessly frustrating excuse for her to get a job.
01:23 Instead of just having her get told to get a job for a normal reason.
01:28 Sabrina was more sympathetic when she was being raised to be a witch.
01:32 But she was like, "No, I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna be a normal girl and do good with magic every episode."
01:38 Eventually, we see Salem at the pet show.
01:41 So the whole concept of Sabrina looking for a job was wasted.
01:45 We didn't even get her being productive to the city out of this premise.
01:52 I guess Quigley doesn't desperately want her to get a job.
01:55 She finds out Harvey's at the pet show.
01:57 Because he got a cat that just showed up at his door the other day.
02:01 Unlike in the comic, Salem's been reluctant and embarrassed about the pet show the whole time.
02:07 Or it might just be the fact that he hates being trapped in a cage.
02:10 He spends around dancing and somehow all the judge says in response is very nice.
02:17 And that physical impossibility.
02:20 It has to be that cats in this universe can also stand up.
02:24 But Salem's shown juggling.
02:27 There's no way the judges would not figure out something supernatural is going on.
02:32 Especially when the other cat does a wonderful job playing piano and Harvey wins.
02:37 It's obvious the judges are witches who just don't want to talk witchcraft in front of any potential mortals.
02:44 And they're too lazy to confront them on this.
02:48 Salem then finds out the other cat is a witch.
02:51 There's no way nobody would have heard of this commotion aside from the two of them.
02:55 When we just saw that Harvey and Sabrina were in the same room as him.
02:59 He tells Sabrina that he told her to meet him at a tower.
03:03 Only for him to stand her up because he was too scared to propose to her.
03:08 And then he never talked to her again.
03:10 Even though one, he could have warped her to him and erased her memory of being stood up.
03:16 Although I guess his logic was he was too ashamed to ever face her again.
03:20 And two, she could have effortlessly warped to him or warped him to her.
03:25 And the fact that she didn't implies that she didn't want to see him again.
03:30 Not even for revenge somehow.
03:33 So I have to assume she was just too polite to forcibly go to him.
03:37 Which is a miracle because any other woman would have done that.
03:41 And it doesn't seem like it would make sense for her to be too polite to get revenge.
03:45 When she must have been turned into a cat for doing something evil.
03:49 Sabrina tries to reassure him and tell him to make it up to her.
03:53 And it's probably right that she still hates him after 400 years.
03:57 Sabrina has no reason to trust her around Salem.
04:01 Though Salem didn't tell Sabrina that she abused magic against him.
04:04 The instant Salem asks her to forgive him, she kisses him.
04:08 We see them watch a drive-in movie and kiss in front of the projector.
04:14 Why did it take so long for her to say she forgives him for standing him up?
04:18 She says there's nothing to forgive.
04:21 This makes me assume she's not really the woman he knew.
04:24 And of course it doesn't help that I already saw a story like this in the comic.
04:28 Complete with a white cat.
04:30 Salem seems to be walking out of Sabrina's house with a briefcase.
04:34 But somehow she doesn't make a huge deal out of it like in the comic where he was going to move out.
04:39 Instead he somehow thinks he's allowed to try to leave the house.
04:43 The witches council put her aunt in charge of him.
04:46 And eventually says he's afraid to commit.
04:49 And she lectures him and tries to pressure him into it.
04:53 Eventually she asks Zelda if there's a spell for commitment to make someone love someone so much that they'd want to spend their lives together.
05:00 Zelda says it's a bad idea.
05:03 But of course she doesn't properly try to convince her.
05:06 So she gets a scroll from Spooky to conserve magic.
05:11 Because it's Salem's habit to dream about how wonderful it'd be to be married and have loving kids.
05:17 It's so freaky to see him be tall with human clothes.
05:21 When the woman says they'll sing the daddy song it gets sickening.
05:25 Why did they put this in the show?
05:27 Zelda can't have outright told Sabrina about the fact that rupees exist.
05:32 And people who literally force people to let them kiss them exist.
05:35 Because god forbid you tell a preteen that.
05:39 Because of her being too cowardly to give her a mandatory talk.
05:43 The rest of the plot happened.
05:45 The RG comics has Ethel in it so she could've still used Ethel as an example of why she shouldn't do these spells.
05:53 But I guess she wanted to listen to her anyways because Salem's already in a relationship with that woman.
05:58 Sabrina says the witch cat's name is Scheherazade.
06:02 If you don't go with a simple name it's gonna take longer to memorize it.
06:07 Hilda warns her that it's a very bad idea for Salem to marry her.
06:10 They could've had this talk earlier.
06:12 But I understand why she doesn't communicate more with her aunt.
06:16 If her parental figures are so happy about grounding her the slight is provoking.
06:21 Hilda says she somehow remembers the night that Salem stood up his former bride.
06:26 While she saw her dancing with another man.
06:29 It makes sense that she didn't tell Salem because she assumed Salem wouldn't believe her.
06:35 But she could brainwash him into believing her so yeah there's no excuse.
06:39 The aunt's bullying him with magic all the time so they don't care about upsetting him either.
06:44 And she got turned into a cat for stealing the husband of every witch in the council.
06:49 It's quite a coincidence that literally all the husbands are just happy to cheat.
06:55 So somehow every witch in the council is a woman.
06:59 So Hilda used to be friends with Salem centuries ago.
07:03 Which probably explains why she was tasked with housing him.
07:07 But it just seems unlikely.
07:09 I mean most people lose contact with the people that they grew up with in high school after they graduate.
07:14 Sprint eventually spies on Chihiro in a trash can.
07:18 And conveniently hears her tell someone over the phone that she's only marrying Salem to turn herself back into a human.
07:25 I assume she's talking about this to a loved one of hers who just conveniently loves her that much that she can trust him.
07:33 To still love her after she says that.
07:36 Harvey stops briefly when Sabrina talks in the trash can.
07:40 Anyone would assume he heard her and was reacting to the word spell.
07:45 But somehow he dumps garbage on her anyways.
07:48 When you'd think he'd see her.
07:50 Sabrina warns Salem about the truth.
07:53 Let me guess. He won't believe her.
07:56 Even though they're friends.
07:58 Yep.
07:59 That's why the scene is a waste of fucking time.
08:03 To be fair Sabrina cast a love spell on Salem to make him want to marry her.
08:07 Of course it can't be talked out of it.
08:09 But Sabrina would've just undone the spell.
08:12 She'd get another skrull from Spooky if she thinks she can't brainwash him out of this.
08:17 If the show is such a big fan of padding it should've just had more padding before this.
08:22 And then she could cast a spell to undo the spell right here.
08:25 I get them thinking that it wouldn't be epic enough.
08:29 But it could've been epic enough if after that you had Shaheer get karma.
08:34 Instead he goes to the netherworld and she follows him and runs around until she sees a big heart shaped door.
08:41 Because cats aren't allowed to get married on earth.
08:44 So Salem has to get married in this universe.
08:47 Sometimes Salem comes off as as stupid as Homer Simpson when he's trying to get Sabrina to abuse her powers.
08:53 Because you'd think he would've learned after the first time.
08:57 So I guess it makes sense that he didn't believe her.
08:59 She rides on a swan and it looks like Zelda is lecturing him before she eventually gets thrown on land.
09:05 I assume Zelda wasn't really there and it was just a place meant to scare anyone who's there with their own current worries.
09:12 And it makes sense that Sabrina didn't just use magic to fly over the whole place instead of riding on a swan.
09:20 Because riding on a swan conserves magic.
09:24 She sees Shaheer and sees Salem walking towards her.
09:27 Oh so she can shapeshift herself.
09:31 But can't do anything else said Resolvo plot bastard.
09:34 She kisses the hand of Shaheer who says that she didn't say to stop.
09:39 So she's grabbing the idiot ball here because she needs to get married.
09:43 And she wants it to happen quickly so she'll turn back into a human faster.
09:47 And what are the chances that he's gonna ask her to marry her instantly.
09:53 Somehow Salem thinks she'll punch Sabrina any minute when she was clearly enjoying the kisses.
09:59 Shaheer agrees to marry Sabrina.
10:02 This is a better way to resolve the plot than when the comic ripped this off.
10:06 This is really a dragged out way to resolve the plot though.
10:10 She should've turned Shaheer into a frog because she can shapeshift herself.
10:15 Salem cries at first only to laugh at Sabrina's bad accent because he conveniently knew the whole time that it was Sabrina.
10:23 Maybe he only figured it out because of the bad accent.
10:26 It makes sense because it's more likely to be Sabrina than some random stranger.
10:31 Who else would've known to come here?
10:33 Salem tells her that she should do a background check on someone before setting him up.
10:38 And she complains that she's still screwed out of allowance until she pays for Quigley's doll.
10:44 Even though we know she could use magic to get him a new doll much faster if he wants it so bad.
10:50 It's so condescendingly convenient that Salem isn't heartbroken or mad.
10:54 This episode is about a witch cat that Harvey could've easily not met trying to date Salem.
11:01 Because if she gets married she'll turn back to a human.
11:04 She could've so easily not had anyone to talk to about this on the phone in front of Sabrina.
11:10 Who is she talking to who would actually approve of her plan?
11:13 This seems like the comic where Salem fell for a white cat as well.
11:17 But there the cat was smarter by casting a love spell on him.
11:21 Well here Sabrina does that to him.
11:23 She's so much less intelligent than Melissa that she lets someone other than Salem kiss her when waiting for Salem to marry her.
11:31 And doesn't even comment that the witch's council got harsher when told someone was shapeshifted for kissing instead of using magic.
11:38 The plot could've been the same if she said no at first until Sabrina proposed to her.
11:44 If she can shapeshift herself it just makes me wonder why she didn't cast a spell to brainwash Salem into giving up on Shahar.
11:50 I didn't hate watching this episode though.
11:52 And to think the whole plot could've been avoided if Sabrina or Salem just zapped up gold and sold it.
11:59 It's just out of character for Salem not to think of that when he's always encouraging her to abuse magic.
12:05 Sabrina the Animated Series Episode 5
12:10 If Chloe doesn't show up by the 5th episode despite her importance I'm officially going to be suspicious.
12:16 Sabrina's art teacher compliments her painting and when Jem insults her Sabrina uses her magic to ruin Jem's painting.
12:25 Making the dinosaur sleep causing the teacher to say her dinosaur isn't very active.
12:30 Then he's impressed that Harvey somehow drew and made a comic.
12:36 He says he doesn't draw hands well and his coloring is somehow sloppy.
12:40 Not that we can tell.
12:42 If he thinks it's bad why did he bring it to art class?
12:46 The teacher gives him a pamphlet showing him that he could go to a con to meet a hero of his.
12:51 He's scared to show him his comic in front of people so he turns down the idea.
12:56 Harvey's better in this show than the sitcom.
12:59 He's more sympathetic and he has depths.
13:03 Sabrina tells Salem what's bothering her and that Harvey's coming over.
13:07 Hilda says her hair is a harpy's nest and uses magic to make floating monsters fix her hair.
13:14 Which is convoluted compared to simply pointing to instantly fix her hair.
13:19 She even tips one of them with a quarter because she's just that nice.
13:24 I don't know why they like just a quarter for a tip though.
13:28 Salem says they could use the spooky jar.
13:32 If the logic is he wants to conserve magic, that doesn't stop him from using magic anyways.
13:38 He even lampshades that it's a waste of time for Sabrina to say no magic because he always pressures her into using it.
13:45 Then why show us this?
13:48 Then why not just have it be a lot faster and have her come up with the idea to use magic like she's supposed to?
13:55 So because convoluted writing, Sabrina uses a magic fishing rod to fish up what looks like one of the star people from Super Mario Galaxy.
14:03 Because just putting potion ingredients into it from a cauldron makes too much sense.
14:09 So Sabrina says that now Harvey will get the courage he needs.
14:13 He would hear that because he's in the house with her.
14:16 And she's basically handing him a spike to drink by expecting him to eat a cake to get courage.
14:22 Why is she resorting to something he can ingest instead of just pointing at him?
14:27 She tells him to make a wish and he blows out the candle.
14:31 And the episode takes too long to take them into his comic.
14:34 There's no reason he'd wish to be in the comic instead of wishing he had the courage to show his favorite celebrity the comic.
14:41 Maybe the premise wouldn't have been as arbitrary if he went into the comic because she warped him there
14:49 thinking that would give him the courage to show his favorite celebrity's comic.
14:53 Experiencing the comic first hand will actually give him the courage.
14:59 He asks how they got here and instantly flies because he doesn't care about Sabrina's lie that he got hurt.
15:06 Sabrina having squid tentacle hair reminds me of the Laird's 2 Chronicles.
15:11 She makes a squid and he apologizes for that being her only power and says he was gonna give her more powers next issue.
15:18 Salem lampshades the silliness of the super villain being an animal and says that's lazy writing to make a talking animal sidekick.
15:27 So Harvey wastes time saying that his comic is stupid when it's more creative than normal superhero comics.
15:34 Why does the story waste time showing Quigley hold the comic if somehow, despite him seeing the panels move,
15:41 he still throws it on the table saying that comics rot your brain?
15:46 I have to assume he thought this was a witches comic book and the one-dimensional super villain threatens them all.
15:52 I don't care about any of this.
15:54 At least it's visually interesting, but it's silly and stupid.
15:58 It's just in a comic.
16:00 I hate that Jem was made a part of the superhero comic.
16:04 Why is she and the other guy part of the comic if they're just here to nag Harvey that he didn't draw a door to their superhero lair
16:10 and that he somehow can't draw hands?
16:12 The super villain whines about being ignored.
16:15 Why didn't he just keep attacking them the whole time?
16:18 Why did Jem get rid of Scream for multiple seconds to bother the villain when that also bothered the audience?
16:24 And the green superhero shapeshifts to trap the villain, but eventually gets flattened.
16:31 And we see the super villain free instead of being trapped.
16:34 He complains that he looks silly.
16:36 I don't understand why a part of Harvey's wish would be that the main characters of the comic would insult him at length
16:42 and want to walk away together when they're supposed to hate the villain.
16:46 So far, this is the worst episode in the show.
16:49 They warn him about a bad guy and warp away.
16:52 Sabrina tells Harvey he's not a loser, and Salem warns them about a floating monster erasing everything in its path.
16:59 How is that thing here if Harvey didn't create it?
17:03 That needs to be explained.
17:06 Why is Salem scared that he'll die if the whole comic world is erased
17:11 when he talked like he knew he could warp them all out of here at any time?
17:15 And yet he doesn't because he wants to humor Sabrina.
17:19 So they all go into Harvey's base and see camera footage showing the monster.
17:23 Harvey wastes time angsting at length that it's a joke for no reason.
17:28 Someone wastes time and says Harvey has an inability to like himself.
17:32 Salem snarks about him, and Sabrina somehow comes to the conclusion that the monster is only growing because of Harvey's whining.
17:39 Somehow that doesn't cause him to stop whining.
17:42 So Sabrina somehow gets the idea to insult him at length to motivate him into standing up for himself,
17:48 even though he didn't stand up to Jem.
17:50 And if Jem's opinions of him didn't mean anything to him,
17:54 why would he even have Jem insult him in the comic?
17:58 He stands up for himself that he's a good artist, and she agrees, and he thanks her, realizing what she was doing.
18:05 Because Salem calls the monster "Blobby", Harvey remembers that in the blob they use fire extinguishers to freeze the monster,
18:12 and so he types in the hopes of doing the same thing to the monster, even though there's no guarantee that it'll work on whatever the hell it is.
18:19 And it works!
18:20 It gets frozen, and Harvey shoots ink and runs out.
18:23 Sabrina sends a squid into his weapon to check up his gun, and the weapon makes a hand to pick up and hit the blob into space.
18:31 The animal says he did it too somehow, because he needed his insight,
18:35 even though it was clearly Harvey's idea to save them all and he did almost everything.
18:40 Salem insults him, and he somehow figures out he needed a radio to talk and destroys it just by stomping it, because he's magical.
18:47 And the animal gets carted away in a van.
18:50 Conveniently, they all get sent back to the real world.
18:53 But it's not like they were actually passed out.
18:56 So it was a real world. It was just a parallel universe.
19:01 That's what I have to assume, because it wouldn't make any sense otherwise.
19:04 Sabrina tells Harvey they were on their way to the comic convention when he tripped,
19:08 and that convinced them to plan on showing off the comic to the celebrity lights.
19:12 She better hope he doesn't find out that you can't dream when you're knocked out.
19:17 The artist gives him the same criticisms Harvey gave himself,
19:21 but then says that his comic's way better than his early work.
19:25 A cliché complaint.
19:27 I guess nobody's suspicious of the aliens walking around because everyone assumes they're in costume.
19:32 But why are they there?
19:34 This episode was mostly boring because it was taking place in a superhero comic world in a different art style when I'm not a fan of superhero fiction.
19:43 But it could've been a lot worse.
19:45 As in while I'm thankful it's over, it's not as bad as I expect the animated series to be.
19:50 It always seemed arbitrary when they were in the comic universe,
19:54 because Harvey could've easily wished he had the courage to show his comic to a celebrity because it'd be a continuation of the story.
20:00 But instead he somehow wished he could be in his comic.
20:03 I thought Sabrina would simply give him the courage with what she was giving him,
20:08 not do something as risky as this.
20:11 So this whole story feels arbitrary.
20:13 At least the superhero universe was trying its best to be creative.
20:18 I was bored when the supervillain was fighting, so it woke me up when their enemy was the flying green fireball instead.
20:23 Even if it did have no excuse for existing.
20:26 Because at least it was doing something threatening and evil looking.
20:31 I don't even remember what the supervillain did.
20:33 [MUSIC PLAYING]