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00:00 Sonic's 900th Adventure.
00:02 The title's wrong because it somehow counted the reprint issues of Sonic the Comic to make this number.
00:09 And it's not including the manga, Sonic Adventures, or the promotional comic for Sonic 1.
00:15 While it's amazing that the comic acknowledged Fleetway,
00:18 why does it acknowledge Fleetway and Archie when they're not canon to this?
00:22 It'd make far more sense to have the number be based on just the amount of IDW issues.
00:29 In the first story, out of complete and utter nowhere, a text box says that Tails has many, many living lamps.
00:37 This contradicts canon in every part of the series where he only has one lab at a time.
00:43 Any real fan of the games would know that, because if he had multiple labs, it'd have been taken advantage of.
00:50 But to be fair, one, having at least a few backup labs is a smart move of his, because Eggman could destroy them.
00:58 And that'd be inevitable because how would he not find out where they are when he makes a house shaped like his head?
01:04 And two, at no point was it ever stated that he does have only one lab, right? We just assumed.
01:12 And even in IDW, it seems he has two labs.
01:16 So it's no more of a retcon than establishing the jailed Robotnik made the Eclipse canon so Shadow could destroy the Black Arms with it,
01:23 and Shadow was made with Black Doom's blood, because nothing contradicted that before.
01:28 The problem is, for Tails to have many living labs, he'd have to use a lot of material.
01:34 And it'd be a waste of materials to make more than a few of them.
01:38 There's being prepared and there's being paranoid.
01:41 But this could make sense beautifully if it was explained that all of those alternate labs are just made by repurposing abandoned bases of Eggman.
01:50 I said when reviewing one of Flint's fanfictions that it'd be unbelievable for the base from SA1 to have not gone dismantled for its materials when it could house dangerous robots, like two of them in tubes.
02:01 It can make sense that most bases aren't touched, and that there's still abandoned buildings in the world, because people are too lazy or busy to tear them down right away and that costs money.
02:11 Tails would still repurpose a few of his bases because it's nothing but spare time.
02:17 Boy, this issue's in trouble if I had to make a long rant justifying the first text box and I didn't get into the story yet.
02:23 Tails is reminiscent about the fact that Sonic's done a lot of heroism.
02:27 The writer took a shortcut by starting out the story with him saying this, when I would've stressed out for a while over figuring out how to naturally start the conversation.
02:36 I wouldn't even expect a fanfiction to have the first line be right in the middle of a conversation.
02:41 Sonic says that beating Metal Sonic was a group effort while calling Tails "buddy", and Tails thankfully lampshades him being modest all of a sudden, and as usual, Sonic praises himself unnecessarily.
02:52 Sonic wonders why he's nostalgic enough to do Reminiscion of Nowhere, and Tails says it just occurred to him how lucky he's been to know him for so long.
03:01 How did that just occur to him?
03:03 Isn't he supposed to be insecure because he used to be bullied and was lucky he met Sonic?
03:08 It's just boring to see a story about nothing but Sonic worship so far when he hasn't done anything in the story itself to earn it.
03:14 At least write him as retrieving a stolen purse for someone first.
03:18 I haven't seen him save anybody in forever.
03:21 Tails says the Metal Virus brings them to 899 world-saving victories.
03:26 I have to assume that most of those take place in the mysterious 5 years between the Classic and Dreamcast era, because they haven't saved the world that many times in the games.
03:36 Oh yeah, I like that Sonic's holding an acoustic guitar like Archie.
03:39 All of that's overshadowed, though, when the Warp Topaz inexplicably warps them for no reason sav-a-plot.
03:46 Even fanfiction's too ground in reality to do this.
03:51 What took so long for this to happen if it can?
03:54 This story's not canon to me.
03:57 It's still supercharged and unstable, but if they're really in danger, why doesn't Tails run out of the house and tell them to follow him instantly?
04:05 I'm supposed to be scared by this, when they're just standing right next to it talking for a thousand years.
04:10 You'd think if it could blow up a planet, it would've already done so.
04:13 Tails gets told to find where the Topaz goes, because for no reason at all, he thinks putting it back where it was will neutralize it.
04:22 The smartest thing to do would be to bring it to the Soul Dimension to keep it from Eggman.
04:27 Sonic grabs it and inexplicably gets sent to Green Hill Zone.
04:32 Even though common sense would have you think it'd send him to the Soul Dimension again, since that happened last time because it was supercharged, and it still is.
04:40 Him being warped here is a lazy retread of the Genesis Wave in the Sonic X comic story.
04:46 I'd like to know why he was sent here specifically, with the writer failing to realize that we're all sick of this place.
04:52 How about show off a real fan-favorite zone instead?
04:55 Sega told Flame not to destroy this, and that'd be a pathetic waste of a concept, so it can't end without it happening.
05:02 Sonic runs off, and then gets drawn or colored in so weird, that at first I assumed he was warped to a parallel universe where he somehow took on the body of another Sonic.
05:10 And that universe could have references to Sonic the Comic.
05:14 I would think the whole story would be about him being warped to other universes, since it warped him to the Soul Dimension.
05:20 Amy appears out of nowhere to defend him from a whale in a pointless reference to Setsune 1, and she immediately tells him to save her instead.
05:29 Lamely.
05:30 He pulls her onto the whale, she worries about the orca, and says "Don't worry" because she knows what to do.
05:35 He runs away, luring it away from her, as she offers to bake him cookies as a reward.
05:41 So boring stuff happens, Amy hugs him, and he thanks her while returning the hug, which we never saw Game Sonic do.
05:47 And he takes off to look for the Toad Pants.
05:50 We see him running with it while calling Tails "buddy", and sees Knuckles because Tails told him to come here, like he doesn't care about guarding the Emerald.
05:59 He calls Tails "buddy" and hands it to Knuckles.
06:02 Then Sonic's warped to Metal Sonic.
06:04 Again, I'm wondering why he was sent here specifically.
06:07 When it's not explained that Blaze's dimension occupies the same physical space as his, but on a different dimension, and the place he landed on when he fell from the sky was close to where he was.
06:16 For no reason, Sonic's so weak he can barely move, which is just insulting to his character to force Metal Sonic to grab the Toad Pants.
06:25 I'm told that the Warped Toad Pants is what's making Sonic feel weak, but that never happened to Starline when he outright used it constantly on purpose, so this is bullshit.
06:33 Apparently, Hedgehog's very weak to this thing.
06:36 Sonic wastes time trying to reason with a robot without free will again.
06:40 He gets sent away by him, but I don't get to see the impact anyways.
06:44 And the story keeps pointlessly dragging out.
06:47 Sonic says "buddy" and says everything's going dark, only to say that it's been long enough, and run around Metal Sonic full of life.
06:54 He wanted Metal Sonic to get the Toad Pants because he'd get suspicious if he gave him it, and Tails knew that the readings showed the effects of the Toad Pants were wearing off.
07:02 Metal gets warped to the same spot as before.
07:06 Why is Sonic saying this dialogue if it's because he's learned to control the Toad Pants?
07:11 Then of course they went to where he wanted.
07:14 So he can control the Toad Pants now.
07:16 Okay, Sonic, now put a portal to some rope, go where Eggman is, tie him up, and get him portaled to the police.
07:23 No, of course not.
07:24 He wants to let everyone run free.
07:26 Even people who would always be monsters.
07:29 And apparently we needed to be told that to explain him not taking down Eggman with this.
07:34 And Tails just looks even more stupid by not thinking of how this could be used to end the series.
07:40 We were never told what Eggman running the world was like for its people.
07:43 But if Sonic was running the world, he'd let every criminal out of prison, because he wants villains to be free.
07:49 This is why the Toad Pants needed to stay out of their dimension.
07:54 Knuckles naturally wants to get the Warped Toad Pants, as it'd be safe being guarded by him.
07:58 Sonic calls him "buddy" and says he wants to keep it after all.
08:01 It makes sense that he'd want to make use of it, but I hope he eventually comes around and realizes it's safer in the Soul Dimension.
08:08 Knuckles gets mad at his time being insultingly wasted for no reason, like the writer doesn't like him.
08:14 With an exaggerated bad-looking face that wouldn't be out of place in a story drawn by John Gray.
08:21 It's like the artist made it a challenge to see how far he could exaggerate the expressions until people finally compared it to John Gray.
08:27 He had a bad expression in '65 as well, but now it's too exaggerated for even me to ignore.
08:33 Tails calls Sonic out on being a dick, and he doesn't listen to him.
08:37 A robot threatens the city that looks jarringly realistic, as if it's one of the stories by pandas that's just got a background that's from a real-life photo.
08:46 I'm sure people are gonna act like it doesn't matter and defend it.
08:50 It turns out Eggman's in a mecha instead of it being a robot, and Sonic's here, while Cubot has the Toad Pads.
08:56 He grabs it, and I wonder why neither of them are instantly creating a portal with it.
09:01 It's that Sonic's so lame that even Cubot is too much for him to handle.
09:05 I have a question, why doesn't he briefly let him go and then bounce attack him a bunch?
09:09 He doesn't explain why he thinks he's too good for hurting them.
09:14 I mean, I know Toad Pads control isn't entirely activated, but you'd think he would still activate it anyways because he'd be thinking about it working, and that's how it has to work.
09:23 Eventually, he rides on a missile, and Sonic apparently thinks he made the mecha non-functional with the missile.
09:29 So he warps to a colorful location and sees Blaze, who is sightseeing with Cream.
09:35 Why isn't Sonic telling Blaze, "Take this to the Soul Dimension and come back here"?
09:39 Why is it so insulting as "forget her identity"?
09:44 Cream is relatively hesitant at first before she boringly motor-morphs that she wants to help get rid of the Warped Toad Pads.
09:50 Blaze follows him too, like she has no faith in her to survive.
09:54 The story is just a lame excuse to show off old levels, but do nothing new with them that require them being in the story.
10:01 I may like seeing these levels, but that's not gonna brainwash me into thinking the writing's been frustrating and padded out.
10:08 Blaze is also tired out by the Toad Pads, because apparently he hates cats too.
10:13 Oh, it's because it was supercharged, so that needs to be explained.
10:17 She says she should find its resting point on her own,
10:21 but then she notices Cream flying while holding Sonic over lava, and they end up falling.
10:26 A whole page is wasted instead of it just being one panel where characters say they need to warp to the colorful gorge.
10:33 It doesn't even have its name given to us again.
10:36 Blaze thanks Cream when Cream tells her she saved them. Sonic thanks them.
10:42 Blaze somehow doesn't tell Sonic that she wants to find its resting point for him,
10:47 which would've been better, because maybe then she'd realize it's better to put it in the Soul Dimension.
10:54 Sonic somehow decides to run away instead of tell Blaze to put this thing in her dimension,
11:00 where it never blew up in all the time it was there.
11:03 And Blaze is out of character as well for not thinking of that.
11:07 Blaze shouldn't have been in the story then.
11:11 Tails tells Sonic where to go.
11:12 There's no reason he'd take so long.
11:15 He tells Sonic not to worry.
11:18 Somehow, Eggman wasn't interested in gold.
11:22 Then the Rogues greet Sonic just for padding.
11:25 I really wish there wasn't so much worthless dialogue.
11:29 Tails' call time was intercepted, so that's why they're here,
11:32 but why have so many panels of Sonic trying to leave them behind?
11:36 They're not likable or interesting.
11:39 Jet tells Storm not to worry because Sonic's heading for a dead end.
11:43 He says Rouge blow the cliff, and assumes Tails enticed them with the potential for money.
11:48 Time is wasted, so eventually Sonic takes off, and eventually Shadow gets Jet flown to Storm.
11:54 I'd rather see more panels than beating them up instead of boring stuff.
11:58 It makes no sense that the towpads went back to being covered in yellow light when I thought it had calmed down for a reason,
12:07 so why would it ever calm down if it's gonna go back to this anyways?
12:11 Sonic goes into a cave and calls Tails' buddy.
12:14 And by a wild coincidence, this is where he needed to go, because Tails says he's detecting the same energy in the cave.
12:21 So it's where the thing was actually found.
12:24 I never thought I'd see that, but I didn't need to.
12:29 What I needed to know was how Starline knew to go here.
12:33 He sees this old hole and puts it in there.
12:37 And the story ends with this pathetic casey idea for a solution to the problem.
12:40 What's stopping Eggman from instantly finding it here?
12:43 And where is the proof that putting it in that hole will make it stop being supercharged?
12:48 And have to stop randomly teleporting to other places for no reason?
12:53 In fact, right after he put it in the hole, it got surrounded by yellow light.
12:58 And we know what that means from the previous panels where it was surrounded by yellow light.
13:02 It means it's gonna warp again.
13:06 So what's stopping it from warping out of the cave to his house or something again?
13:09 This isn't a good ending.
13:11 What was the point of even bringing the Topaz back then?
13:14 As far as I'm concerned, after Sonic inevitably tells Blaze what he did,
13:19 she'll come here and take the Topaz to the Soul Dimension.
13:23 Because it was found here before, so why wouldn't anyone find it?
13:27 It's not like Sonic made it impossible to go back into the cave.
13:31 He's too stupid to.
13:33 When I look at the list of writers for this, I see a shocking amount of them for no reason.
13:38 And it's sad that there's no difference in writing style among them.
13:41 Either way, it makes a fool out of all the characters involved,
13:44 and the premise is just as forced and silly as if Flynn wrote it on his own.
13:48 I guarantee you Flynn was the one most in charge of this.
13:51 There's no point even having other writers if there's a head writer.
13:55 So it doesn't even matter that it's also by Evan Stanley, Daniel Barnes,
14:00 Aaron Hammerstrom, Caleb, Golnar, and even Nigel Kitching from Sonic the Comic.
14:06 When I was first told he was hired for this, I wanted to start squealing,
14:09 because it's 25% better than the IDW writers.
14:12 But I naturally assumed he'd get his own story,
14:15 not be wasted being constrained to writing for someone else's,
14:20 making it possible for his talent to shine through.
14:22 This story was about the impossible idea that the Warped Topaz warped to Sonic's house of all places now
14:29 for no reason because he's the main character,
14:33 to force a story where Sonic runs with it the whole time,
14:36 with me just desperate the whole time for it to get sent to the Soul Dimension.
14:40 The boring plot kept dragging on because the characters are nearly incapable of thought,
14:45 so Sonic can do nothing but run instead of thinking of that,
14:49 and you'd think it would warp him to the Soul Dimension,
14:51 since that's what it did last time it was supercharged.
14:54 Him being able to make sure Metal Sonic grabs it
14:57 would try to gaslight us into thinking he's smart.
15:00 But the fact that he doesn't think to use the character who can go to another universe
15:04 that willed to get rid of this thing,
15:06 makes it look like everyone in this comic is an idiot who realistically shouldn't have survived this long.
15:11 There was nothing new happening, with weak attempts at tension failing to inspire me to care.
15:17 At least he stopped Eggman, but it was too easy.
15:20 His idea of a good solution was putting the gem in the same cave where someone stumbled upon it before.
15:27 Like that couldn't happen again.
15:29 You might as well not have Tails be a genius at all in this comic,
15:32 and have him just be using someone else's technology.
15:35 Sonic and Tails had no reason to think
15:37 returning the gem to its cave hole would make it stop being supercharged.
15:42 And if it didn't, which it obviously didn't,
15:45 then he should have let Jet have it,
15:47 since Eggman would never know where to look for it if he sold it.
15:50 This story was just a lame excuse to give cameos to Sonic levels,
15:56 which only makes it good if you're extremely easy to impress.
15:59 But Nostalgia Pandory is like jingling keys, or holding a dog toy in your dunk.
16:04 It didn't work for Forces, so it shouldn't work for this comic.
16:08 What inspired casuals to analyze Forces to the point of hating it when they didn't do that for this?
16:13 I wanted to praise the story by Nigel Kitching again.
16:17 Why did they even hire him if they're just gonna hire a thousand other writers too?
16:21 If they never use him again, let alone on his own, they'll really be idiots.
16:26 Because he could actually save this comic.
16:29 After all, his part of the story was good.
16:32 I liked the part with Amy in it.
16:33 It was boring, but at least she was useful.