KIRSTY and Tom met on Tinder nine years ago, quickly falling in love and getting married. Two years ago, the couple began to open up about their sexual fantasies and both discovered their desire to sleep with others. The conversation kick-started their journey into the swinging world. Tom told Truly: "I think for me, I enjoy it the most because of how it's brought us together." Agreeing, Kirsty said: "I think there's a lot of couples that want to do it but don't know how to tell the partner." Nowadays, the couple hook up with others regularly, choosing to get intimate with both men and women. Kirsty explained: "We'll have busy weeks sometimes and have maybe four or five in a week." During a sexual retreat, the pair met another couple, Katey and Dan. The foursome often sleep together and Tom explained how the dynamic is: "Just like a normal friendship, but with benefits." Katey and Dan decided to open up their own relationship after discussing their fantasies in bed one night. Dan revealed: "I said to Katey I wanted to see her with another guy, she was a bit shocked, but eventually it all worked out." Speaking about their bond with Kirsty and Tom, Katey admitted: "I think from the day we met Kirsty and Tom, we automatically had that connection. And that's just grown from there." The couples do receive their fair share of judgement and in today's episode of Love Don't Judge, we'll be hearing all about the challenges they've faced. Katey admitted: "When I first told my family about our lifestyle, they were very upset and thought that what we were doing was disgusting." Reflecting on their unique set-up, Kirsty said: "I love sharing my husband. It's more like a little proud moment for me."
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00:00 This is Kirsty.
00:01 She fell in love with Tom.
00:04 The married couple meet up with others to swing.
00:07 We'll have busy weeks sometimes,
00:09 and we'll have four or five in a week.
00:11 They hook up with their good friends, Katie and Dan.
00:15 It's just a normal friendship, like any other friendship.
00:17 Yeah, even though we share wives and stuff.
00:20 But not all has been smooth sailing for the group.
00:23 Has there ever been any jealousy?
00:28 Their lifestyle choices have broken apart
00:30 Katie's relationship with her family.
00:32 They thought that what we were doing was disgusting.
00:35 They don't really speak to me anymore because of it.
00:37 All right, shall we get these clean for tonight?
00:43 Go on, give us a wipe.
00:45 I'm Kirsty, and this is Tom.
00:46 We're swingers, and we're just prepping for our friends
00:49 coming over this evening to have a little play.
00:52 We were about two years into the relationship
00:54 when we decided to open up and explore.
00:58 It wasn't until about the fifth or sixth year
01:00 that we actually delved into it and started meeting people.
01:03 This one's got the remote, hasn't it?
01:04 Oh, yeah.
01:05 You can put that in today if you want.
01:07 This is a good one as well.
01:08 Yeah, I like that one.
01:10 It's quite small.
01:10 It's a bit better for the back door, isn't it?
01:12 Yeah.
01:13 So usually we'll meet people maybe twice a month,
01:20 three times a month.
01:21 We'll have busy weeks sometimes,
01:23 and we'll have four or five in a week.
01:25 But then we won't do anything for two months
01:27 and we'll just do stuff.
01:28 I think for me, I enjoy it the most
01:30 because of how it's brought us closer together.
01:32 There's a lot of couples that want to do it
01:36 but don't know how to tell their partners.
01:38 And if you've not got that openness
01:41 and trust and respect between themselves anyway,
01:43 then it just means that we're a better couple than ever.
01:47 Oh, that'll be them.
01:50 Do you want to get it?
01:51 Do you want me to get it?
01:52 So we met Katie and Dan from the retreat that we went on.
01:55 We hit it off straight away, really.
01:57 It's just like a normal friendship, but with benefits.
02:00 Hi guys.
02:03 Hi.
02:04 Come on in, come on in.
02:05 How are you?
02:05 Good, how are you?
02:06 Good, good to see you.
02:09 One night in bed, we were talking about
02:11 different things we want to try.
02:13 Fantasies and that sort of thing.
02:14 Fantasies, and I said to Katie that
02:17 I'd want to see her with another guy.
02:19 She was a bit shocked, but eventually it all worked out.
02:24 And then I decided that I wanted to explore
02:26 my bisexuality as well.
02:27 So as we started to explore that,
02:29 we then thought it'd be more fun to play together.
02:32 Has there ever been any jealousy?
02:33 When we first started opening up as a couple,
02:40 I expected to feel quite jealous seeing him
02:43 with another woman, 'cause that was completely new for me.
02:45 And when we first started opening up our relationship,
02:47 it was a no-go.
02:48 But the first time I saw him with a woman,
02:51 I actually found it really hot.
02:54 And yeah, it's been great since then.
02:57 We haven't had any issues.
02:58 The jealousy is kind of part of it.
03:00 It makes things more exciting.
03:02 I think from the day we met Kirsty and Tom,
03:05 we automatically had that connection,
03:08 and that's just grown from there.
03:09 And that ended up progressing to me asking Kirsty
03:12 to be my maid of honour for my wedding.
03:14 So how have you guys been?
03:15 Good.
03:16 So do you want your wedding photos back yet?
03:18 Yes, actually we got them back this weekend,
03:20 so we can go through those ones.
03:22 Cute.
03:23 That's nice, in front of the water.
03:24 Yeah, it was a really lovely photos that we got there.
03:27 What happened on your wedding night?
03:30 Who did you sleep with?
03:32 We ended up taking one of my girlfriends
03:34 up to our bedroom.
03:36 We had some drinks and ended up having a (beep) with her.
03:39 And it was really fun.
03:41 It was really good.
03:41 She's one of my best friends, so it was very comfortable.
03:44 And to do it on such a special day
03:46 is just makes it so memorable.
03:48 So how have your family been since then then?
03:50 Because obviously they were a bit iffy before then,
03:52 didn't they?
03:53 I haven't heard anything.
03:55 No?
03:56 No.
03:57 Still didn't show up anyway.
03:58 Still didn't show up, still didn't get a message
03:59 or anything.
04:00 I think a lot of the judgment I've received
04:03 has mainly come from my family.
04:04 They disapproved of what I was doing
04:07 and they don't really speak to me anymore because of it.
04:09 When I first told my family about us and our lifestyle,
04:14 they were very upset and thought that what we were doing
04:18 was disgusting.
04:20 They actually blamed Dan and told me
04:24 that they thought he was my (beep)
04:26 and he was convincing me to do it,
04:28 which was really difficult,
04:30 but they just couldn't accept us for who we are.
04:33 I struggled for a long time with the fact
04:36 that my family didn't come to my wedding.
04:38 But then I look around the room and I look at the photos
04:42 and I see how happy everyone was for me.
04:44 Everyone is for you, yeah.
04:45 And everyone loves us for who we are.
04:47 So what kind of negativity have you received
04:50 online and stuff about it all?
04:51 There's a few comments and it's just,
04:53 oh, that's disgusting and how can you share your partner?
04:57 And I think part of that is why we want to educate
05:00 other people on the lifestyle.
05:02 Lots of sick emojis.
05:04 Fake.
05:06 I want to vomit on their faces.
05:07 (laughing)
05:09 Specifically.
05:10 Specifically.
05:11 Specifically.
05:12 Maybe that's his kink.
05:13 Well, don't kink shame.
05:14 Exactly.
05:15 True, fair play.
05:16 Dan wants the D.
05:18 (laughing)
05:20 Most of our negativity aimed at me as well.
05:22 You know, like, I'm pushing you into this
05:25 or I'm clearly in the closet.
05:27 Tons of all because he's bi and it's like,
05:29 men can't be bi, they're either straight or gay.
05:31 World's gone mad.
05:33 I think that's it, it's people can't accept
05:35 that the world is changing.
05:36 I think people think we're like,
05:38 sullying the sanctity of marriage.
05:41 Yes, we can play and we can have fun,
05:43 but we're still committed to each other.
05:45 If you enjoy a bar of chocolate,
05:47 are you just gonna have one bar of chocolate
05:49 your whole life and that is it?
05:51 No, I'm committed to that bar of chocolate.
05:53 You'll always go back to your favorite bar.
05:55 Yeah.
05:56 Oh, like them creations that they brought out at Christmas.
05:59 Yeah.
05:59 (laughing)
06:02 Let's see what you've got.
06:03 Okay.
06:04 Ooh, nice one.
06:06 I like purple on you.
06:08 And then we have this little.
06:10 Nice.
06:11 Copper oil sink.
06:12 Yeah, I think Tom might like this one.
06:15 Dan'll like that one.
06:16 I think so, yeah.
06:17 Are you looking forward to tonight?
06:18 Always, yeah, absolutely.
06:20 I've seen what Kirsty's gonna be wearing.
06:22 Oh yeah, any good?
06:24 Yeah, it looks very good.
06:25 I'm sure you'll enjoy it.
06:28 Swinging for me has been a very eye-opening,
06:32 the fact that people actually like cross-sized people.
06:34 'Cause body confidence was a huge issue for me
06:36 at the beginning, and the amount of people
06:38 that actually like me, not to toot my own horn,
06:40 but yeah, it's really nice.
06:42 It's the same for me, really.
06:43 I always had body confidence issues.
06:46 I never liked my stomach.
06:47 And now I'm confident in what I'm wearing.
06:50 I love sharing my husband.
06:52 It's more like a little proud moment for me,
06:53 like, yes, that's mine, have a taste,
06:55 but you can't have it.
06:56 For me, obviously, 'cause Tom's bisexual,
06:58 it's something that I can't give him.
07:01 So I like the fact that it gets an all-round.
07:04 It's just a normal friendship, like any other friendship.
07:07 Yeah.
07:08 Even though we share wives and stuff.
07:10 Happy?
07:10 Yeah. Let's go.
07:11 Shall we go see what the boys are up to?
07:13 Let's have drinky drinks.
07:15 Cocktails.
07:16 Let's take a drink.
07:17 Drinks.
07:18 Social movement.
07:18 (door opens)
07:20 Hey, Joe.
07:21 Hey, girls.
07:22 I think the lifestyle works for us,
07:23 'cause we just have a boring, normal life.
07:25 That adds a bit of extra, doesn't it?
07:27 It just adds variety, like, you don't wanna stick
07:30 to the same thing for the rest of your life, you know?
07:32 After we've had sex with other people,
07:33 then the sex that we have together is--
07:35 Even better.
07:36 Even better.
07:37 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:38 Like, make up sex, isn't it?
07:39 Without the arguing.
07:40 Are we swapping?
07:41 Are we all in a couple?
07:43 I think we'll all just go with the flow.
07:45 Girls, couples, get everyone involved at once.
07:48 Mix and match.
07:50 So, shall we take this to the bedroom, then?
07:53 Yeah.
07:54 Yeah.
07:55 With pleasure.
07:56 I would say, don't knock it 'til you try it.
07:58 It's not for everybody.
07:59 It's not for everybody, but it works for us.
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