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FunTranscript
00:00 Well, trust me, Papa, can it be your intention
00:03 To back your chappers over nothing more than a wheel?
00:05 Your brain is all tied up in a sling
00:08 To think a wheel is such a great thing
00:10 Well, you young whippersnapper, you name me a better invention
00:14 Stintville, Daddy-o, try this for size
00:17 A like that don't you think the era claimed to be graven?
00:20 Why, without the old wheel, that thing would just go to pot
00:22 But the motor car? Now that was no second rate
00:25 But take away the wheel and that invention is gone
00:28 There's not a single thing you can find
00:31 That ever did as much for mankind
00:34 Look here, Pop, you must be in the wrong scene
00:36 Not me
00:37 Let me toss some more examples at you
00:39 The typewriter
00:41 Wheel
00:41 The steam engine
00:42 Wheel
00:43 The anti-whipping cotton gin
00:44 Wheel, wheel, wheel
00:45 The sewing machine
00:46 Wheel
00:47 The washing machine
00:48 Wheel
00:48 Never knew so many things depended on wheels
00:51 And you can keep on naming them, son
00:54 But there's a wheel in every last one
00:57 So come on, Junior, let's go back through the ages
01:00 Way back in the days that I can hardly recall
01:02 And watch what happened through the various stages
01:05 Begin from the time when there were no wheels at all
01:08 Now tell me, who are we going to meet on this deal?
01:10 Why, the inventor, son
01:12 The inventor?
01:13 Yes, the inventor of the wheel
01:19 Oh, fine, I'd love to meet him
01:25 Ah, now then, Junior, looks like our boy there
01:28 Hey, look, no wheels
01:30 Pop, well, I declare he don't look like an inventor to me
01:33 Quiet, Junior, just watch and see
01:35 See? Life was a struggle in the prehistoric age
01:38 Yes, you'll note, Junior, man was in his bare essential state
01:43 Food was scarce and clothes were few
01:45 And I see there was a housing shortage, too
01:51 Ah-ha, now we come to the part where the whole idea gets its start
01:55 Hey, buddy, wake up
01:56 Turn around, here's your big chance to be world-renowned
02:00 A chance?
02:01 Sure, draw up that idea
02:03 That's it, good, study it
02:07 Now then, is it understood?
02:09 No
02:10 Uh-uh
02:11 What is it?
02:12 Why, that's a wheel like the one you've just seen
02:14 What do I do with it?
02:16 What do we do with it? Hey, use your beans
02:18 Think of the possibilities, where's your vision?
02:21 This is no moment for indecision
02:23 So, the wheel's just an idea
02:27 Oh, no, boy, no
02:29 That use of the wheel is hardly apropos
02:31 Go on and roll it, boy, roll it down the hill
02:35 Wait, I'll do it
02:36 I'm sure you will
02:38 Kazoo, Pop, this cat is really nowhere
02:41 In some circles we'd call him square
02:43 Well, he's pretty slow, Junior, but don't be upset
02:47 Hey, boy, you haven't got it yet
02:49 What?
02:51 Hey, who are you two guys?
02:53 Why, we're the Spirits of Progress
02:55 And we advise you to pay some undivided attention
02:58 While we help you with your great invention
03:01 Listen, and we'll show you how
03:03 How what?
03:05 How to... well, just follow us now
03:08 Find yourself a log, and here's what you do
03:11 Slice off a slice, yeah, better make it two
03:14 Attach those slices to your sled
03:17 Hey, pull it, boy
03:19 Go ahead
03:21 Now, young man, right here you decide
03:24 Why should you pull when you can ride?
03:27 You better add sides to this knockabout
03:30 So you and your possessions won't fall out
03:33 Okay, driver, you know how
03:36 Say, lookie there, he's making progress now
03:39 Man's first wheels were heavy and quill
03:42 Better wheels were soon to appear
03:45 When the Egyptians came
03:46 What'd they do?
03:47 They made real progress
03:49 How do you like those Egyptians?
03:52 Early Greeks advanced the wheel more
03:55 Light and fast as never before
03:57 And then the Romans came
03:59 And what did they do?
04:00 And they made progress
04:02 Oh, those Romans
04:03 Soon there were work carts
04:05 Mail carts, strong carts, trail carts
04:07 Carriages and gates
04:10 Wagons, chaise, and cabarets
04:13 And all kinds of rigs
04:16 Transportation vastly improved
04:20 On those wheels how everything moved
04:23 People were traveling
04:24 They were going
04:25 On wheels of progress
04:27 [Cheers and applause]
04:37 Hoorah!
04:39 Now, another phase, Junior
04:42 Taking good advantage of steam
04:45 Out of someone's wonderful dream
04:48 The locomotive came
04:49 What for?
04:50 To add to progress
04:52 Is it absent?
04:54 Plankets on each rim of the wheel
04:58 Rolled along on ribbons of steel
05:01 Known as the railroad tracks
05:02 Flickety-clack
05:03 And tracks of progress
05:05 Progress?
05:06 Those trains got bigger, stronger
05:09 And much longer
05:10 Faster, too, of course
05:13 Finally, man found that he could
05:17 Outrun a horse
05:20 Distances got shorter somehow
05:23 Lots of boats were traveling by
05:26 And it was all aboard
05:28 On wheels of progress
05:31 [Cheers and applause]
05:40 Ha!
05:41 Now, the next phase, Junior
05:44 One day, man cried "blankety-blank"
05:47 While he grimly twisted a crank
05:50 But when the engine caught
05:52 Watch it now
05:53 He made light work
05:55 Get a horse
05:57 Rubber tires inflated with air
06:00 Wheels were truly going somewhere
06:04 And it was fun to be
06:06 To be what?
06:07 In stride with progress
06:09 Good old progress
06:10 Soon roads were two lanes, four lanes
06:13 More and more lanes
06:14 Man sure took to wheels
06:17 Highways crammed and freeways jammed
06:20 With automobiles
06:24 Year by year, increasing the pace
06:27 Everyone got into the race
06:29 It was the motor age
06:31 Who's at track?
06:32 On wheels of progress
06:34 [Music]
06:51 Fire!
06:52 [Tires screeching]
06:56 I'm running out of gas
06:58 Good-bye
06:59 What'd he say, Junior?
07:00 He implies he'd rather be a pedestrian, Pops
07:03 Now, boys, that's a negative sound
07:06 Let's get back to the problem at hand
07:08 [Music]
07:11 Almost two million years, man endures
07:13 Waiting for that great invention of yours
07:15 Your big gas can?
07:17 Yes, lad
07:18 And don't you doubt it
07:19 Why, even now, you couldn't live without it
07:22 Awesome!
07:23 I'd go inside without it
07:25 No, no, my friend
07:27 On this round earth you've been spinning since your birth
07:30 Round and round on a wheel like that
07:32 Don't tell me the earth is round
07:35 Pops, don't you know what Columbus proved?
07:38 Son, this boy is way back
07:40 Millenniums removed
07:42 Then, uh, let's fill him in and set him straight
07:44 Yeah, say, Junior, why don't you elucidate?
07:47 Crazy!
07:50 Well, Swinger, here's the bit
07:52 Now, the globe spins like a wheel
07:54 You can quote what I say
07:56 One full turn knocks off one full day
08:01 Now, to check out the moon
08:03 The fact we face is
08:04 It swings around the earth on a monthly basis
08:10 Both Luna and Terra Firma
08:12 They cut around the sun
08:14 And dig this
08:15 It takes a year to get that done
08:19 It's like, man, a natural timer
08:21 One of those deals where nature naturally
08:23 Makes it with wheels
08:24 Wheels within wheels
08:26 You with me, Doc?
08:27 Same kind of set up we use in a clock
08:29 A different wheel for a different speed
08:32 Just what the hour, the minute, and the second need
08:36 Hey, jump on that log wheel, man, with all
08:41 Goodness, Dad!
08:42 And now, plant your whippies on the little one
08:47 Went pretty fast, didn't it, kid?
08:50 Wow! I'm sure again!
08:53 Though it may seem incidental
08:54 Still a basic fundamental
08:55 Should be mentioned here
08:56 Before the point is passed
08:58 Illustrating it by ratio
08:59 To show mathematics
09:00 Ratio will show just how slow the gears go
09:02 Or how fast
09:03 Count the teeth around these two gears
09:04 You would know this if you knew gears
09:05 Now the largest twice the number you'll conceive
09:08 Twice the number, consequently
09:09 If you spin it even gently
09:10 You'll observe the smaller turning twice the speed
09:13 And that's the principle of the thing
09:16 That's the principle of the thing
09:18 How the gear treated is related to the ratio
09:20 We have stated is the scientific principle of the thing
09:23 Now attend this demonstration
09:27 Of some wheels in combination
09:28 You do caps and belts and brackets, poles and cans
09:31 Gears eccentric, gears elliptic
09:32 So the purpose making cryptic
09:33 They are all compiled in simple diagrams
09:36 There are skulls and worms and vectors
09:37 With escape and thread connectors
09:38 Need to memo explanation, here I trust
09:41 And the speed and gear reduction
09:42 We determine and construct
09:43 Is based upon the ratio earlier discussed
09:46 And that's the principle of the thing
09:48 That's the principle of the thing
09:51 How the gear treated is related to the ratio
09:53 We have stated is the fascinating principle of the thing
09:56 That's so terrible