Fresh off the recent release of his newest album 'I Might Forgive... But I Don't Forget' and his book 'Adversity for Sale' Jay “Jeezy” Jenkins sat with his close friend and actress Nia Long in an hour long interview released this week that details his journey into self-discovery and healing. The powerful conversation reveals an open, vulnerable and reflective Jenkins, discussing topics from mental health, meditation, healing inner-child wounds, and of course forgiveness.
Jeezy sat with Essence Ventures Chief Content Officer God-is Rivera to discuss his journey of self-discovery, his thoughts on how we can create more safe spaces for reflection among each other, how creating his art has become therapeutic, and what he hopes his community gains from hearing the experience of his ongoing path to internal balance and healing.
Jeezy sat with Essence Ventures Chief Content Officer God-is Rivera to discuss his journey of self-discovery, his thoughts on how we can create more safe spaces for reflection among each other, how creating his art has become therapeutic, and what he hopes his community gains from hearing the experience of his ongoing path to internal balance and healing.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00 All right, everybody.
00:01 I am so excited to be here.
00:03 So excited to have this conversation today.
00:06 I'm Goddess Rivera, chief content officer of Essence Venture.
00:10 And I'm so happy to have with me today, a legend, one who kept me
00:16 rocking my days at Clark Atlanta.
00:19 How you doing?
00:21 Yes.
00:24 Yes.
00:25 I'm so excited to have you.
00:26 Um, you know, I've just been so enthralled and intrigued.
00:31 I feel like the whole world, the whole community watching conversation
00:38 with you and the legend, me along.
00:41 Um, you know, just, it was just so powerful for me personally, just
00:47 thinking through all the ways that we are, you know, I think as, you
00:52 know, this era, this generation, we're really trying to sort of break
00:55 generational change, really sort of center our mental wellbeing.
01:00 And it's not easy, right?
01:01 It's not easy at all.
01:02 So today I would love to sort of dive in a little bit, um, of what you
01:06 love, what you talked about, why this is important to you.
01:09 So I think the first thing is.
01:13 I feel like a lot of people feel like a journey of self
01:17 healing is important, right?
01:19 But they can't, they don't know how to make the jump.
01:22 They don't know how to start.
01:24 Um, you know, how would you say that you started your personal
01:29 journey of self healing?
01:31 Like, I think I hit rock bottom at a time where I was supposed to be at my highest.
01:36 And I just was, nothing was filling.
01:40 Nothing was, so I was numb.
01:42 You know, I was just walking around, I was lost and I didn't really have purpose.
01:45 And the more I started to understand that I'm just like, I'm waking up every
01:49 morning and it's like a bad movie.
01:51 It's the same script.
01:53 It's a thing.
01:54 And you just like, what am I doing?
01:56 I would be around family.
01:57 Sometimes I wouldn't be present.
01:59 I would be with my kids and I would be thinking, you know, it's almost
02:02 like coming back from, um, you know, war, you know, you just, you know, this
02:06 post-traumatic stress and you're always thinking about, you know, what's going
02:11 to happen and what already happened.
02:13 And waking up with these nightmares and you're going through this, this, this
02:16 whole cycle of, uh, a bad movie.
02:19 And I started to, what I started to understand that it was something that I
02:26 may be able to do something about is when I started reading more, cause reading
02:29 would take my mind to a place, um, that I just had peace for a minute.
02:33 Right.
02:34 And I started reading and I started getting into podcasts and
02:38 different things like that.
02:39 And I'm just hearing this bits of information.
02:40 So I just started reaching out to people to be honest with you.
02:43 Like I was just reaching out.
02:44 I would hear somebody on the podcast.
02:46 I'm just, you know, I'm such a such, I just love to sit down with you, buy you
02:51 coffee and I was just asking questions because I'm trying to, I'm just trying
02:55 to figure out what they know that I don't know.
02:57 And as, as I, and I'm an introvert naturally, so if I don't know you, I
03:03 don't know you, but I found myself going outside of, oh, I believe that.
03:10 Yeah.
03:12 So you gotta go back and like reenergize.
03:15 So I would find myself doing things that I was uncomfortable with
03:17 doing to get the information.
03:19 And to me, that's what I did when I was in the streets.
03:22 Like, instead of talking to the guys that I was hustling with, I
03:24 would talk to the old guys.
03:26 There was like the old guy on the corner who's been married to his wife
03:29 for 40 years, who just was in the hood.
03:31 Cause he couldn't go nowhere else.
03:32 Cause he had all the knowledge, right?
03:34 He understood what life was about.
03:36 He's seen a stand on this corner for generations, well, for decades.
03:40 Right.
03:40 And it just over to somebody else.
03:42 So he's seeing the cycle of what happens.
03:44 And when you sit down and talk to these people and you get to know them,
03:47 they just have all this insight.
03:48 So what I was doing was I was getting this insight and I just started like,
03:52 you know, just doing what I could on my own.
03:54 And you know, it took years and years and years of just trying to figure things out.
03:59 And, uh, when I got a little bit of like, okay, this is something that, that I
04:06 could do, right.
04:07 And it could help.
04:08 That's when I, I kind of took a deep dive.
04:11 Right.
04:11 Because at first I'm still living with that.
04:14 You know, you can't tell your homeboys you're on the phone with the therapy.
04:17 You sound crazy.
04:17 Now, maybe after we start to have conversations like you're sparking, we
04:24 can, I love that.
04:25 I had a lot of good things going on for me too.
04:27 So to even tell someone that I was depressed, you know, was, are you rich?
04:33 You straight?
04:33 You ain't, I was in the fizz no more.
04:36 It's great.
04:37 Is this, is that right?
04:38 And I had to tell, you know, my son of that we talking, I was like,
04:41 you know, your brain is like your engine.
04:43 And when you, when you, your car's not running right, you, you're bound
04:47 to run into more problems.
04:48 Right.
04:49 And there was a lot of things that were going on, you know, in my mental that I
04:53 needed to start to understand so that I can fix.
04:56 And it was a lot of soul healing that I needed to work on because I came from
05:00 such bad energy.
05:02 That's all I knew.
05:03 And I didn't know any other energy to fill.
05:07 Right.
05:09 You know, just like a big, a good place to be.
05:12 Right.
05:12 Um, and, and that was a bigger piece for me.
05:16 I think that just what you're saying is so important for people to hear.
05:20 And there's a couple of things.
05:21 And even what you just unpacked is that you can get to a point where you're at
05:26 rock bottom and you sort of are forced to reckon with like, Hey, I don't want to
05:30 feel like this anymore.
05:30 Right.
05:31 But I love also this idea of reading podcasts, just reaching out and saying, I
05:37 want to learn more.
05:38 I want to understand more about how do I process what I'm feeling?
05:41 And I also think you touched on a huge, a huge point, which is.
05:45 It doesn't have to look bad from the outside for things not to feel right.
05:50 And I think that is huge for people who feel like they got the job, they got the
05:55 degree, they got the career, they got the money and something is still not there.
06:00 Um, I think it really,
06:02 when you're growing up and you're growing up in the hood, the only thing you can
06:05 think about is when I get my Lamborghini, I get this big mansion and I'm this and
06:10 then you get that and you're in that and you're feeling even worse than you did
06:15 before you had it because you felt like this was going to fix everything.
06:19 Even money, you know what I'm saying?
06:21 It doesn't, it doesn't fix the problem.
06:23 A lot of, you know, what I'm doing is because when I, when I worked at it, you
06:29 know, it's like anything you do is like, you know, recipes are made because
06:34 somebody learned how to cook something great and they passed the recipe.
06:37 And for me, I'm passing on the recipe to self healing because I went in and I
06:43 found all the ingredients and I made this, uh, you know, this, this, this
06:47 wonderful dinner that I want to share with my people because I feel even my
06:50 friend, I got friends that I love, you know what I mean?
06:53 I've known them for years and just recently they're starting to open up to
06:58 me and have conversations about things that they went through that are more
07:01 traumatic than what I went through.
07:03 And I've been knowing them for, you know, 20 years and we never had, just
07:06 because they see me on this journey, they're starting to open up and have
07:10 these conversations that we never had.
07:12 Right.
07:13 Because it was always closed off.
07:14 How you feeling?
07:14 I'm good.
07:15 I'm great.
07:15 You know, whatever I'm dealing with, with it.
07:17 And I lost, I lost a great friend of mine.
07:20 And, and, and, uh, like the beginning of my career, what the beginning of my,
07:25 my, my recording artist career, when I got signed, he was the person that took
07:29 me to a deaf jam, his name was Shakir Stewart, best and all, and he was the
07:35 happiest person in the world on the surface.
07:37 Like he had all the sad warfare, all the charisma.
07:40 And when I got that call that he killed his self, like I just, I couldn't, I
07:44 couldn't understand that.
07:46 Right.
07:46 And yeah.
07:48 And, but the first thing I thought to my mind, because I was, I was hurting,
07:55 but I didn't imagine that we had a chance to just sit down and talk about
08:00 our together, right.
08:01 They helped each other.
08:03 And it's just like, you know, even when I see guys that are just getting out of
08:08 prison or guys who was just trying to make life work, you know, that that's
08:12 good on the exterior, but on the inside, there's things going on that, you know,
08:17 you just, sometimes you just want to be heard and seen, help you process it and
08:22 unpack it because we're taught all these things in the inside, right.
08:27 And, and, and your, and your, your wounds are only going to do two things.
08:30 They're going to make you weak or they're going to give you wisdom.
08:32 Right.
08:33 And if you don't figure out which road you're going to go down, and I was just
08:37 talking to one of my friends about this on the way over here, I was, we was
08:40 talking about the interview and he was just like, man, I'm just proud that you
08:43 even took that step.
08:43 And I say, look, man, you know, to be honest, because you know, our kids are
08:48 going to have kids, right.
08:49 And if we instill a thing into them, or they feel like they got to just keep
08:53 everything, you know, keep everything inside their, their kids are going to be
09:00 like we are and their kids, nothing gets fixed.
09:04 And nothing gets to, you know, just open up that dialogue.
09:10 And, and, and the reason, um, you know, I wanted to do it near, because I just
09:14 know that, you know, she's a strong woman and she's dealing with things that, you
09:18 know, women are dealing with across the world, but also know that I just wanted
09:22 to be in this place where I can have this conversation with a woman that's
09:26 like-minded so that culturally we can see this.
09:30 That's how a conversation in the house is supposed to happen.
09:33 You know, this could be at the dinner table.
09:37 This could be over glass and wine.
09:38 Right.
09:38 It's going to be whatever.
09:39 Like, Hey, this is what I'm going through.
09:40 And there's no judging.
09:42 I'm not looking at you like you're weak.
09:44 Cause maybe you can help me work through this.
09:45 Right.
09:46 Right.
09:46 Or point me in the right direction.
09:47 And when it comes to you, I can say, you know what, I didn't even
09:49 know you was feeling like that.
09:50 Like, what can I do to support you?
09:52 Right.
09:53 And then same with friends is almost like, if I can open up that dialogue and my
09:58 homie, call me and say, Hey man, you know, really I'm going through a bad moment
10:02 right now.
10:02 Right.
10:02 And this is what's happening.
10:04 I might not have the answers, but I can actually hear right.
10:09 Because once you say it, you know, you can unpack it.
10:13 You know what?
10:13 Exactly.
10:14 And you talk about feeling safe and I'm so glad that you brought up.
10:17 I mean, you can see and feel that.
10:19 Both you and Nia feel safe with each other, right.
10:23 In this conversation.
10:24 And, you know, when I'm thinking about folks, I, you know, thinking about, you
10:28 know, the late great Shakira, what he was suffering with, and we've had several
10:32 folks in this industry and many others who are suffering silently, is it because
10:38 they, they weren't able to identify someone that they felt safe enough with
10:41 talk through these things, you know, how would you say for somebody who might be
10:46 suffering silently at all different levels?
10:49 How do you sort of identify that?
10:50 And then find the courage to say, I really do need to talk.
10:53 I found my courage through other people.
10:55 Like shout out to my sister Shanti Dyes and her suffering in silence movement.
11:01 You know, what I really think it is for me, it just like, as a people, we just
11:08 got to be there for each other.
11:09 Right.
11:10 We got it.
11:10 We got to, we got to be able to have conversations where you're able to tell
11:17 people actually how you feel.
11:19 Right.
11:20 Because the reality of it is nine times out of 10, you're not alone.
11:24 You know, people feeling the way you feel.
11:29 And for me, you know, when I suffered in silence, I wasn't a good person.
11:38 See what I'm saying?
11:39 Like I was, I didn't have, I didn't have a great moral compass.
11:43 You know, I was more self, right.
11:45 I was more about me, you know, what's this mean for me.
11:50 And I wasn't trying to build any relationships because all I was trying
11:53 to make sure is that I was good.
11:55 Right.
11:55 And that came, that came from me being in pain and then inflicting on others.
12:01 Yeah.
12:04 But I mean, I mean, I'm going to be honest.
12:06 Like I got people that I might run up to now that know me for like, you know,
12:09 know me for years that know me from back then.
12:12 And I'd be like, Hey man, what's up?
12:13 And they're like, Oh my God.
12:14 I'm like, no, bro.
12:14 I'm different.
12:15 I promise you.
12:16 And try to like, you know, I'm not a lot of those relationships because I left
12:26 him in a bad place because I was, I was in a bad place, you know what I'm saying?
12:31 I was waking up every morning, you know, just, just mad and just like,
12:36 because what it is, is like, you're just walking around with pain.
12:39 I use walking around with like deep, deep, deep pain and anything,
12:45 everything will set you off.
12:48 Like anything, everything will put you in a place where you would say something
12:53 to someone.
12:53 Right.
12:54 And if somebody said that to your mother, you'd be ready to go above and beyond
12:58 to show them that.
12:59 And I had to just get to a place where, and this is a real thing.
13:04 It's just like, when you're going through this pain, you're really not happy with
13:08 yourself.
13:08 You don't like yourself.
13:09 And a lot of people don't even me putting baby picture on my five year old picture
13:14 on my album cover.
13:16 A lot of people felt like that's a hip hop thing.
13:18 That was for me.
13:19 That was for me because all this time I was ashamed of him.
13:23 Right.
13:23 And that's the most vulnerable state I ever been in.
13:26 Cause that's when the most hurt happened to me.
13:28 Right.
13:28 And those are the things that I had, but me putting that out there in the world is
13:32 showing that I can look at that picture now and tell you, I wholeheartedly love
13:36 myself.
13:37 I love him.
13:37 I love everything about us because there was a point that I didn't, it was a point
13:41 I didn't even look in the mirror.
13:42 I get up, brush my teeth.
13:44 I think I didn't even look at him.
13:45 Yeah.
13:46 I never said, you know, and like, you know, like we're going to do our best.
13:49 We're going to make people smile.
13:51 We're going to change some lives.
13:52 We're going to do some great things.
13:53 If we don't, when we come home, it's going to be me and you.
13:56 And we're going to be all right.
13:56 You know,
13:57 I think one of the most powerful things, and I know we're running short on time,
14:02 but I just, this is just so important for the community to hear this from you,
14:06 because I think you and Nia, you know, she starts out even saying like, tell me
14:12 about little Jay, right.
14:13 Tell me about this child.
14:15 People often don't realize how many wounds they carry that are unhealed from those
14:22 moments.
14:22 And you really went into two very traumatic instances and mentioned having more and
14:28 Joe, you know, even being a young child, you know, witnessing something like
14:32 domestic violence, you know, losing the trust of someone that you were told you
14:36 could trust.
14:36 I think how you carry that through your life is so, so impactful.
14:43 So I'd love to just hear your thoughts.
14:45 And I loved sort of the way you spoke about your meditative state and really sort of
14:50 healing with that inner child.
14:52 I think people, a lot of people need to really think through what that means.
14:58 You know, what was it like for you?
15:00 Cause you said you didn't want to look in the mirror.
15:01 It was scary.
15:03 Was it hard?
15:04 It was more shame than anything.
15:05 You know what I'm saying?
15:06 Just shame, you know, it was just like, and once I had to realize it wasn't me, I
15:11 was a child, right.
15:13 And I just got caught up in the situation.
15:15 It wasn't my fault, you know, and I, maybe I should have been covered and protected
15:19 in a different way, but I'm going to go through this and they got to know it's not
15:23 their fault.
15:24 Absolutely.
15:24 This is not this, these people did these things to you and they're adults.
15:28 They should know better.
15:29 Right.
15:29 Yeah.
15:30 And they did not.
15:30 But the way, what's so important to me now, just to put it out here, you know,
15:36 because, you know, people ask you why now it's because I, where I am today, I'm
15:42 probably like, if you asked me this 10 years ago, how much I love myself, I'd
15:47 probably been a negative zero.
15:48 Right.
15:48 You know, I'm at a 10, 10 right now.
15:51 Right.
15:52 And then I also understand my purpose and why I'm doing this, because I know that
15:56 there's a young kid out there who's going through what I went through and need to
16:01 hear this and everything that I'm doing to, to, to learn and to grow.
16:06 I just want to put back in the culture because I feel like this is important.
16:10 Like I got friends that we talk and they like, yo, what you doing?
16:13 I'm like, yo, man, honestly, I'm gonna get up.
16:15 I give them people my morning routine.
16:17 I'm up for 30 sharp.
16:19 Every I'm a meditate 45 minutes to an hour.
16:23 You know what I'm saying?
16:24 I'm a pray for another 20 minutes, right?
16:26 I'm a journal for another 30, 40 minutes because journaling is helping me, you
16:31 know, process my, my, my thoughts.
16:33 Now, I mean, this was big for me to even step by.
16:35 So in my journal this morning, I'm like, okay, we're going to go outside.
16:44 I'm going to make sure nobody's throwing tomatoes at me.
16:46 Let's say we got you.
16:53 We got you.
16:54 And that's another moment that I want to get you out of here, but you know, the
16:59 moment with meditation, we have real conversations and they always ask me, what
17:06 are you doing, man?
17:06 You just seem so this, and I put a couple of my friends on the meditation and we
17:10 have conversations about this.
17:11 You know, we have conversations about books.
17:13 I'm reading a book.
17:14 I'm going to be like, people come on my house.
17:16 You would think you would get, you know, whatever type of gifts, my gift bags have
17:20 books in them, right?
17:21 And my guys have conversations like, yo, I'm going to tell you this.
17:25 It's crazy because what I learned is everybody wants to learn.
17:28 They just need to know how, right.
17:30 And where to get the information from.
17:32 And then for me, meditation was a big part because it actually gave me time to
17:37 process my thoughts.
17:39 And, and, and to, and to, to, to look inward so I can understand what's going on
17:44 with me.
17:45 And it sets me up for my day to go out into the world because when you understand
17:49 what's going on with you and you move accordingly to that, you just give off good
17:53 energy, right?
17:54 And you, and you're focused on your purpose and you're, you're walking in your path
17:57 of faith.
17:58 Like you're not just out here spinning your wheels.
18:00 And I think that that's important.
18:01 And I'm not telling everybody they should meditate.
18:03 It might not even be the thing.
18:05 Oh, and, and with music, like, you know, people are loving the album, which I
18:10 appreciate.
18:10 They're loving it.
18:11 They love in the book, which I appreciate, but they got to understand it's my
18:15 journaling.
18:15 What you're listening to, what you're reading is my journal.
18:20 That's me.
18:21 Who my process of what I've been through all these things that I packed up and put
18:27 in my closet, which meaning like, I'm not going to think about it.
18:30 I'm just going to pack it up and put it back here.
18:32 And the thing about it is you can stack that closet to the ceiling, but one day
18:35 it's going to bust wide open.
18:36 You know, it's at one time.
18:38 So I'd rather just get it out through my writing, uh, get it out through, you know,
18:42 my music, cause it's all therapeutic to me.
18:44 So when you're listening to this music or you're reading this book, just know that
18:48 that's a part of my therapy process.
18:49 And I hope that it helps you.
18:51 I think that that's so, again, just, these are actionable ways that people today
18:57 tonight, somebody might say, I'm going to just try five minutes of meditation, right?
19:02 I'm going to journal for 10 minutes.
19:04 I'm going to pray for, you know, 15 minutes.
19:07 I think this is what our community needs.
19:09 That's that actionable ways to sort of.
19:12 Still yourself, get reconnected with yourself.
19:16 And then of course, you know, your artistry, your creation, that is when
19:20 your best artistry comes out.
19:22 You know, we've either listened to rave reviews about the new album, but, and
19:26 I'm hearing, even if I'm in life, I'm good.
19:30 And I think that was, that was like that, that whole between the book, the album and
19:40 the conversation with Nia, it took, that was the last thing that was on, that was
19:45 the last thing that was in my closet.
19:47 Right.
19:48 It's free because these are things that I was dealing with that I just couldn't
19:52 understand.
19:53 I know, you know, cause I had people tell me like, man, you shouldn't even worry
19:56 about things, but I'm like, you know, like integrity align.
20:01 Like it bothers me when trying the right thing.
20:04 And then you run into people and I had to realize there are people out there who
20:08 haven't even started the journey of healing.
20:10 So I can't fault them.
20:12 You see what I'm saying?
20:13 I got to understand that that's what they are, but I have to free.
20:17 Right.
20:19 And I have to free myself though, because I got girls to raise, you know what I'm
20:23 saying?
20:23 I got, I got culture.
20:25 It's dependent on me to, to, to keep walking this path.
20:28 I got, I got, you know, I got family members that, you know, look and say, you
20:33 know, that's my cousin and that's my uncle that I had to make sure that I'm, I'm,
20:38 I'm leading by example.
20:40 So I can't walk around with this hatred in my heart.
20:43 I can't round with this bad energy because that's not who I am.
20:47 Right.
20:47 And I'll be lying if I said that's, that's who I am.
20:50 And I feel like it's so important for us culturally to understand that like, if
20:54 you're hurting, you don't have to stay in that place, like you can do some things
20:58 about it.
20:58 At least try.
20:59 At least try.
21:01 Yeah.
21:02 Right.
21:02 At least try, at least try.
21:05 And I love that you said you have the culture on your back.
21:08 And like I said, we'll get closed out in a moment, but I think the moment, the
21:11 conversation too, between you and Mia was so, it was healing on several different
21:16 levels because you also were being very culturally right.
21:20 Aware.
21:20 You're talking about what it's, what it means for black men and black women to
21:25 have these conversations.
21:26 She actually said, I don't think I've ever had a conversation like this, right.
21:30 With a black man in this way.
21:33 Well, we can really unpack.
21:34 Yes.
21:35 And you could see it.
21:36 It was beautiful.
21:38 And I think one of the things I'd love sort of your quick thoughts on is, you
21:41 know, she in that moment, you know, had sort of an emotional moment where you
21:46 sort of said, of course we would have your back, you know, as always, no matter
21:50 what happens, we'll always, you know, make sure to stand up for you.
21:53 And I think sometimes the, there's a lot of discussion around black men and black
21:58 women and how we support each other, how we not support each other.
22:02 And I just love to sort of hear your thoughts about, you know, why is it
22:06 important to sort of find that connective tissue?
22:10 And I know that, you know, being the home of black women, 53 years at essence, you
22:15 know, we hear all of their thoughts and what they go through.
22:17 And a lot of times black women don't always feel it's supportive, right?
22:21 They, they want to know that they've got that safety and that protection, you
22:25 know, so what would you say, as we try to think about sort of a collective
22:28 community approach to making sure that we're having these conversations
22:31 everywhere, like you said, the dinner table, the first thing I would say is
22:35 just, just like, you know, it starts with just listening to each other and
22:38 giving each other space.
22:39 Right.
22:40 Because growing up in a household where I heard yelling and screaming and all
22:44 these things all the time, you know, and I, you know, growing through my life and
22:48 just seeing it everywhere I was and even it's the norm, you know, we normalized
22:52 it and it all, it helped with my post-traumatic stress.
22:55 So it also put me in a state of, you know, fight, flight or freeze, you know
23:00 what I'm saying?
23:00 For most of my life, anywhere I'm at, you know, I'm always overly on edge
23:06 because I'm listening to the sounds.
23:08 Right.
23:08 And I think, you know, and, and, and shout out to Nia.
23:13 She's a, she's a solid one and she understood exactly what the mission was.
23:17 And my, my, my thing was like, can we have a conversation that I feel like my
23:22 dad and my mom should have had, or your dad and your mom or, or, or people that
23:28 are, you know, in these relationships or people that are, are, are, you know, you
23:33 know, it's bad when you can't talk to your sister, you know what I'm saying?
23:37 Like your sister, your, your, your, your biological sister, because you guys,
23:41 cause coming from what your parents showed you, you guys can't even have a real
23:45 conversation.
23:45 Right.
23:46 And then that goes into men feeling like, um, they have to, you know, to, to over,
23:54 you know, over display their masculinity.
23:57 Cause it's like, well, you, you know, it's to the point where you can't just sit
24:01 down and look somebody in the eye and say, you know what, this is what's going on.
24:05 And this is how I feel.
24:06 And for me to accept, go, I received that.
24:09 Now tell me what can I do?
24:11 You know, so you won't feel that right.
24:14 Which is an easy fix.
24:15 Yeah.
24:16 What I'm saying is as, as a people, we just been taught, you know, women are
24:20 taught to be tough by their mothers.
24:22 Men are taught to be cold by their fathers.
24:25 And then you put that together and you put that in the household and then what type
24:29 of kids do you think you're going to raise?
24:30 And now more so than ever, I just feel like the message has to be out there
24:36 because the internet is raising our kids now.
24:39 Right.
24:39 So imagine that, you know what I'm saying?
24:42 So like we got to still do our due diligence to show them.
24:46 And she said something that was, you know, very profound in there.
24:49 She says she'd never seen an example.
24:50 And, and I agree that I've ever seen this, the kind of show, right.
24:57 And only other example I've seen is my uncle, his wife, and they've been
25:01 together probably 40 some years.
25:04 And I've never seen two people that just was always solid with each other.
25:10 Right.
25:11 But that's rare.
25:12 Right.
25:13 So what other examples are there?
25:16 So I was, I was hoping that, and we was hoping that this conversation would just
25:21 open up the dialogue of at least how to go into these situations and sit down at
25:27 a table and just have a conversation.
25:30 Because at the end of the day, you know, woman and man is here to be a team, right?
25:34 If we cover each other's blind spots and we're loving each other and we're keeping
25:39 each other accountable and we're keeping each other strong and we're keeping each
25:43 other love, then like, how can we lose?
25:45 I'm not saying anybody should be perfect, but what I'm saying is just think about
25:49 your best friend that you have.
25:51 You guys have some ups and downs, some lefts and rights, but you love your best
25:55 friend.
25:55 Right.
25:56 And if she came, she said that something was wrong and she was going through
25:59 something in her life.
26:00 You will be all ears.
26:02 Why we can't.
26:03 Why can't we be like that for each other in relationships and family relationships?
26:07 You see what I'm saying?
26:09 That's, that's the difference.
26:10 That's right.
26:10 That's right.
26:12 Your best friend.
26:13 Two bagel tigers.
26:19 You know, they have to protect themselves too, but we want to protect them as well.
26:32 And we want them to look out for us.
26:34 So whatever that means, right.
26:36 That's, that's what we're trying to get to.
26:38 I love that.
26:39 And I think that the work you're doing now allows you to even better protect, right.
26:44 Your kids, your, your spouse, your family members.
26:48 I think that's the work that matters.
26:50 And so, you know, before we go today, I love that you also mentioned that you feel
26:56 you, you could just, you could hear and see the clarity in you right now, which is, it
27:01 is shining off of you, which is so awesome to see.
27:06 Absolutely.
27:06 And you say that you found your purpose and I believe you and I know the community
27:11 believes you.
27:13 So, you know, before we go today, I'd love to sort of know what is it you really want
27:19 our community to take from this?
27:21 You've shared a lot, but if there was one thing or a few things that you say after
27:25 someone watches this interview, after they listen to the album, after they read the
27:29 book, what is it?
27:30 I want them to understand that our community, you know, no matter what you've been
27:34 through, no matter what you're going through, no matter how much pain, how much
27:39 suffering you feel like you've been through, there's always a way to heal.
27:45 Right.
27:45 And to me, you know, I'm not there yet.
27:50 It's a journey.
27:51 It's not a destination.
27:52 But I can tell you, you know, once you get a small piece of healing, you begin to heal
27:59 others. Right.
28:00 And that's the journey I'm on.
28:02 Heal others.
28:03 And I feel like if we've had movements before.
28:07 Right.
28:07 And I feel like if we could just get on that movement, you know, we could we can we
28:12 can start to heal each other.
28:14 Yeah. Because the thing that I know is I'm raising daughters.
28:18 Right. And I don't want when my daughters are in their 30s that they're still dealing
28:23 with what we're dealing with today as a people.
28:27 Right. And like everything that you ever heard me say or do, you just got to know that
28:33 my intentions were good.
28:35 But my intentions are even better now.
28:38 So if you read in my book, my intentions are even better.
28:40 That's for every hustler, every guy who's out there who think he's got to be stuck in
28:44 the street forever. No, you don't.
28:46 You know what I'm saying? There's one around it.
28:48 I mean, you know, from the from the business part of it to everything I've ever done.
28:53 I came from where you came from.
28:54 And for the people that's out there, you know, you know, they need that soundtrack to,
29:00 you know, just a better way of thinking.
29:02 Because once you change your life, you know, that's one thing.
29:05 But when you change the the level, the quality of living of the people around you, then
29:08 you're doing something. That's what the album is about.
29:11 And this conversation with you was about, you know, just putting our people in a place
29:15 that they know that it's OK.
29:17 It's OK to sit down and talk and work through things, have conflict resolutions and just
29:21 know that at the end of the day, like you don't have to agree on everything.
29:26 You do not. You know, you just got to be able to talk about it.
29:29 And that's all you just be able to talk about it, because once you're able to talk about
29:33 it, you have a whole nother type of understanding for that person.
29:35 Because again, you know, we got a generation being raised by the Internet, you know, and
29:41 if we don't do our part, you know, and you know, you know, you only call things smart
29:47 because this is a smartphone.
29:48 That means the phone is smarter than you.
29:50 And that's not good.
29:53 And last but not least, OK, right.
29:55 And at least it's like, OK, be OK with yourself.
29:59 Be OK in your company, because a lot of times we blame what we're going through and
30:04 everybody else. But if you walk away from everybody else and go sit somewhere for two
30:09 months and sit in one space and eat whatever you want to live, however you want, if
30:14 you're not happy in that space and you still have this anger and things, it's not the
30:19 other person. You.
30:21 So you don't want to have to do the work, right?
30:23 But if you know you need to do the work, you got to do the work.
30:28 And that's what I want to leave it on.
30:30 You know, you got to do the work, got to do the work.
30:33 All right, well, listen, you heard it.
30:38 We got to do our work and we've been so inspired.
30:41 We are so grateful once again.
30:43 I'm goddess Rivera, chief content officer at the venture.
30:47 Thank you. Thank you.
30:48 Thank you. The amazing J.J.
30:51 Jenkins. Yes, this is going to be so beautiful and amazing for the community.
30:56 And I know you spark conversation.
30:58 So I look forward to getting the next special.
31:00 Don't forgive me like this.
31:02 I love you. So you're good.
31:07 You're good. Thank you.
31:10 It's over.
31:11 (upbeat music)
31:13 you