Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00 [music]
00:02 Attack of the killer spuds!
00:05 Something is taking over Riverdale, one teenager at a time!
00:09 And it's turning them into zombies!
00:11 Can Archie save his friends from this ghastly doom?
00:14 Attack of the killer spuds!
00:16 [music]
00:20 [music]
00:22 What's that sound? Archie!
00:24 [music]
00:25 That's the ring!
00:26 [music]
00:27 What is going on in this town?
00:29 Archie!
00:30 [music]
00:31 That's the ring!
00:32 [music]
00:33 Who is gonna crack the case?
00:34 Archie!
00:35 [music]
00:36 That's the ring!
00:37 [music]
00:38 That redhead with the freckled face?
00:39 Archie!
00:40 [music]
00:41 That's the ring!
00:42 [music]
00:50 Things are getting weird in Riverdale!
00:53 [music]
00:54 Hey, what's that sound? Archie!
00:56 [music]
00:57 That's the ring!
00:58 [music]
00:59 What is going on in this town? Archie!
01:01 [music]
01:02 That's the ring!
01:03 [music]
01:04 Archie, Reddy, Veronica, Betty, Jughead too!
01:08 [music]
01:13 Archie's Weird Mysteries!
01:16 [music]
01:19 Don't touch that remote! We'll be right back!
01:21 [music]
01:22 We're back, and I'm still hungry!
01:25 [music]
01:26 [music]
01:33 We now return to the Monster Movie Marathon!
01:36 Jughead, haven't you seen this one already?
01:39 Of course I've seen this one!
01:41 [chewing]
01:43 Everyone's seen this one!
01:45 So why are we watching it again?
01:47 Archie, it's a classic!
01:48 A classic dud! Come on, Jughead, it's a great day outside!
01:52 Let's bust out the bikes and go for a ride!
01:54 Shh! Here comes the bit where she finds out her best friend is a mindless zombie!
01:58 Sheesh! I know how she feels!
02:00 Um, Mary? I think you should see this.
02:03 Mary? Mary!
02:07 [roaring]
02:09 You sat in front of that TV yesterday for 12 hours?
02:13 That's why they call it a marathon.
02:15 No, that's why they call it the boob tube.
02:18 [roaring]
02:20 They get us to the TV station so this boob can pick up his prize.
02:26 So, tell me about this contest again.
02:28 Well, it's like I said.
02:30 When the movie marathon ended at midnight, I was totally in the zone.
02:34 The zone?
02:35 When you're so wrapped up in something that you don't even notice the world around you.
02:39 You know, the zone.
02:41 Anyway, that's when the lady from the station comes on and says,
02:44 "We've got a prize for the first person who can call in and name all the movies in today's marathon."
02:49 Huh?
02:50 Well, if there's anything that can snap me out of the zone, it's freebies or food.
02:56 Or in this case, both.
03:03 You've got to be kidding!
03:05 A potato? What kind of lousy prize is a potato?
03:09 Why, it's a lucky potato for a lucky couch potato like yourself.
03:14 Gee, thanks!
03:16 Hey!
03:18 Come on, spud boy.
03:20 The Earthling promised one of them some sort of prize.
03:31 I knew you'd like that, Master. I knew you'd like that a lot.
03:35 Jughead, you can't just sit in front of that TV all your life.
03:46 Yuck!
03:47 Big game tonight. Riverdale versus Springfield. What do you say?
03:51 I say you're blocking the view.
03:53 You're going to turn into a couch potato.
03:56 You say that like it's a bad thing.
03:58 Look, watching a little TV is one thing, but it's not too cool when it keeps you from having a real life.
04:04 Fine. I'll catch you at Pops tomorrow. Deal?
04:07 Suit yourself.
04:10 [Springfield]
04:12 Oh, Alex, I'm so glad you're here.
04:21 What's wrong?
04:26 What the? Let go!
04:30 [Screaming]
04:32 [Screaming]
04:59 I'm getting a little worried about Jughead.
05:01 You're telling me. He's turning into a couch potato.
05:04 That's not what I'm talking about.
05:06 Uh, Jughead?
05:10 It's nice to see you out of the house there, buddy, but, uh, what's with the pot?
05:15 Dirt is good for you, Arch. It's rich in nutrients that can be absorbed through the feet.
05:20 Uh, okay.
05:22 I think your freaky friend has finally flipped.
05:26 Say, Arch, you can make it one of your stories.
05:29 The Weird Mystery of Jughead's Bogus Brain.
05:33 Note the bags under his eyes.
05:35 I theorize Jughead is suffering from sleep deprivation.
05:38 Jughead, did you stay up all night in front of that tube again?
05:42 Mm, I'll tell ya. Pop makes the best french fries in town.
05:47 Huh?
05:49 [Screaming]
05:51 This blouse came from Paris.
05:55 [Laughing]
05:57 The fries are good, but they're not that good.
06:00 Oh, I'd never eat french fried potatoes. No one ever should.
06:04 Huh? Did our Jughead just say he'd never eat french fries?
06:09 I think he is suffering from sleep deprivation.
06:12 Promise me you'll go home and get some shut-eye.
06:16 Only if you'll keep my new friend's company while I'm gone.
06:19 Your new friend's?
06:21 Nice. He ruins my blouse and gives me a potato.
06:25 Poor Jughead.
06:35 He'll be normal after a good night's sleep.
06:38 Jughead will never be normal.
06:40 So, Archie, are you still coming over for that movie tonight?
06:43 Yeah, sure. But right now, let's get out of here before Pop finds this mess.
06:49 [Gasp]
06:50 Not so fast, Archie!
06:52 [Laughing]
06:53 I want to put my arm around Betty, but I've got to play it cool.
07:03 I hope he puts his arm around me, but I don't want to look too anxious.
07:07 Popcorn?
07:10 Uh, sure. Thanks.
07:13 Oh, too anxious. I scared him off.
07:16 Was that a signal?
07:18 Aw, gee. I'm too nervous.
07:21 I've got to make my move, but when?
07:23 When you're so wrapped up in something that you don't even notice the world around you.
07:28 You know, the zone.
07:30 That's it. The zone!
07:32 The what?
07:33 Uh, the phone. Didn't you hear the phone ringing?
07:36 I don't think so.
07:38 [Chuckling]
07:40 As soon as Betty gets into the zone, I'll make my move.
07:44 This is it.
07:46 Careful now. Careful.
07:49 [Groaning]
07:51 What the? Was that my shirt?
07:53 Smooth move, Andrews.
07:55 Phew. I don't think she noticed.
07:58 I thought he was going to put his arm around me. I wonder why he stopped.
08:01 Oh. Oh, Archie.
08:04 Better not look or I might scare him off again.
08:07 Hey, that wasn't my shirt. What the?
08:11 [Siren wailing]
08:14 Ew.
08:21 Uh, Betty? The potato you put in your purse?
08:24 I think you should see this, Betty.
08:27 Betty!
08:29 [Grunting]
08:37 Oh, no, you don't.
08:40 Betty! Betty, snap out of it!
08:43 Archie? Oh!
08:46 Are you okay?
08:49 Sure, but what's going on?
08:51 I don't know, but I think we need to talk to Jughead about his new friends, the potatoes.
08:56 Something really weird is going on.
09:03 You're telling me. How could ordinary potatoes do this?
09:07 And if potatoes did this, where are they now?
09:10 I don't know, but I'm going to call the police.
09:13 [Gasping]
09:15 [Groaning]
09:17 Uh-oh. Too much excitement for Betty.
09:21 I think she's fainted. Eh, boy?
09:24 [Growling]
09:25 What the? Jughead and... Jughead?
09:29 Hiya, Arch.
09:32 We'll be back faster than you can say Pythagorean Theorem.
09:36 It's Archie's Weird Mysteries.
09:40 I don't believe this.
09:45 Glad you could stop by.
09:47 You're not Jughead. What are you?
09:50 I was once a mere potato, but I have been liberated by the master.
09:55 Freed by the great potato.
09:58 The great potato?
10:00 [Growling]
10:02 Yes, I share his thoughts and do his bidding.
10:10 And thanks to him, starting tonight, potatoes will rule the earth.
10:16 Betty!
10:22 [Growling]
10:24 Huh?
10:26 [Growling]
10:28 It's too late, Arch.
10:31 Even now, the master's thoughts are being broadcast to all the potatoes of Riverdale.
10:38 Potatoes that will buy their time.
10:42 Waiting until the humans aren't paying attention.
10:54 Waiting for the perfect moment...
10:58 to attack and absorb the human life force.
11:06 But what happens to the people?
11:10 They're happy just sitting there.
11:14 You know, like in the zone.
11:21 [Growling]
11:23 Never having to think or do anything ever again.
11:31 Never having to think or do anything ever again.
11:37 Kind of like watching television forever.
11:42 Pretty cool, huh?
11:44 [Growling]
11:47 [Growling]
11:49 If you don't believe me, ask Betty.
11:59 Join us. You'll like it, Archie.
12:06 Come on, Arch. Everyone's doing it.
12:10 Huh?
12:14 [Groans]
12:16 Get off me!
12:19 Huh?
12:21 [Groans]
12:23 Oh, no, you don't!
12:25 [Groans]
12:26 Take that!
12:28 Huh?
12:32 Yipe!
12:34 [Panting]
12:37 [Grunts]
12:43 [Tires screeching]
12:45 He's getting away.
12:47 You can run, Archie,
12:49 but you can't hide from the eyes of the Great Potato.
12:53 Listen, everyone. We've got to hide from the potatoes.
12:59 Oh, Archie Kims, you can't hide from the potatoes.
13:09 Yeah, weren't you listening to Jughead?
13:13 The police. I've got to try the police.
13:22 I wouldn't do that if I were you.
13:24 Ah!
13:26 Whoa!
13:28 Sorry about that. Are you okay?
13:35 Dilton? Is it really you?
13:38 It's me, all right. I've tried the police.
13:41 You don't want to go there.
13:43 Potato zombies?
13:45 Heck, until I saw you running into Pops,
13:48 I thought I was the last human in Riverdale.
13:51 Jughead said there was some Great Potato behind all this.
13:54 He must be behind the microwave transmissions I detected with my lab equipment.
13:58 Microwave transmissions?
14:00 Right. And if we can stop them, the potatoes should return to normal.
14:04 Only, we don't know where the transmissions are coming from.
14:08 Yes, we do. The TV station. They gave Jughead a potato.
14:12 They broadcast their programming with a microwave dish.
14:16 Come on, let's go.
14:19 (tires screeching)
14:21 We'll never get to the controls with all those potatoes in there.
14:41 Maybe we can override them directly from the transmission tower.
14:45 There. We just need to get to that control box.
14:48 If we can stop the microwave transmissions,
14:51 that Great Potato will lose control of the potato zombies.
14:54 Uh, I don't think he wants us to do that.
14:57 And now, back to Archikin's Weird Mysteries.
15:11 (zombies growling)
15:14 Whoa!
15:29 Wait for me!
15:39 They're throwing potatoes!
15:42 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
15:54 Huh?
15:57 It's got me!
15:59 You're not gonna get him, Lego!
16:02 (grunting)
16:05 Come on, Dilton!
16:12 Faster, Dilton!
16:21 (yelps)
16:30 (grunts)
16:32 (laughs)
16:34 Oh, no, you don't.
16:36 Dilton?
16:38 Guess again.
16:41 Yipe!
16:43 Go, Archie! Go!
16:46 Your only chance, Archie!
16:48 Your only--
16:59 (laughing)
17:02 O-R-G!
17:05 Whoa!
17:25 Whoa!
17:29 All right!
17:31 Whoa!
17:33 Time to become one with the Great Potato.
17:44 (grunts)
17:46 (grunts)
17:51 (grunts)
17:53 (grunts)
17:55 Whoa!
18:07 (yelps)
18:11 Ew!
18:16 (grunts)
18:18 (grunts)
18:20 Whoa!
18:25 Ooh!
18:35 (barks)
18:41 (laughing)
18:47 Hey, cut it out!
18:49 Hey, you did it, Archie! You-- ow!
18:59 I guess you're right. I did.
19:02 I-- I don't know where the Great Potato came from.
19:06 I think I know how we got here.
19:15 (yelps)
19:17 (yelps)
19:29 Whoa!
19:43 Archie! Archie, turn on the dish!
19:46 What?
19:48 Turn on the dish and increase the frequency to full power!
19:52 What-- what happened?
20:10 When you increase the frequency, you change that giant microwave transmitter into a giant microwave oven.
20:17 Anyone for a baked potato?
20:20 I don't know what happened to the Great Potato after that,
20:25 but his ship flew away and we never saw any of his kind again.
20:29 As for Jughead, well, he still watches TV, but now he's doing other things, too.
20:37 Like I told him before, watching a little TV is great,
20:40 but too much can turn a guy into a zombie.
20:43 And for the nation's big produce suppliers, one weird mystery still remains.
20:48 Why no one orders potatoes anymore...
20:51 in a little town called Riverdale.
20:56 (theme music)
20:59 (theme music)
21:02 (theme music)
21:05 (theme music)
21:09 (theme music)
21:12 (theme music)
21:15 (theme music)
21:18 (theme music)
21:21 (theme music)
21:24 (theme music)