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FunTranscript
00:00 [Music]
00:02 [Music]
00:05 [Music]
00:07 [Music]
00:09 [Music]
00:38 [Music]
00:45 Hey Pops, what is that?
00:47 Tell me what we're gaping at.
00:50 Well, right here, Junior, is the greatest invention,
00:53 the story of which I am about to reveal.
00:56 Well, Frost, me Poppa, can it be your intention
00:59 to back your chappers over nothing more than a wheel?
01:02 Your brain is all tied up in a sling.
01:05 To think a wheel is such a great thing.
01:07 Well, you young whippersnapper, you name me a better invention.
01:11 Since, Vildadio, try this for size.
01:14 Like a don't you dig the air a plane to be greater.
01:17 Why, without the old wheel, that thing would just go to pot.
01:20 The motor car? Now that was no second rate.
01:23 But take away the wheel and that invention is shot.
01:26 There's not a single thing you can find
01:29 that ever did as much for mankind.
01:32 Look here, Pop, you must be in the wrong scene.
01:34 Not me.
01:35 Let me toss some more examples at you.
01:38 The typewriter? Wheel.
01:40 The steam engine? Wheel.
01:42 The cotton gin? Wheels, wheels, wheels.
01:44 The sewing machine? Wheel.
01:46 The washing machine? Wheel.
01:48 Never knew so many things depended on wheels.
01:50 And you can keep on naming them, son,
01:53 but there's a wheel in every last one.
01:56 So come on, Junior, let's go back through the ages,
01:59 way back in the days that I can hardly recall,
02:02 and watch what happens through the various stages,
02:05 beginning from the time when there were no wheels at all.
02:08 Now tell me, who are we going to meet on this deal?
02:11 Why, the inventor, son.
02:13 The inventor?
02:14 Yes, the inventor of the wheel.
02:20 Oh, fine, I'd love to meet him.
02:22 Ah, now then, Junior, looks like our boy there.
02:29 Hey, look, no wheels.
02:32 Perhaps, well, I declare he don't look like an inventor to me.
02:35 Quiet, Junior, just watch and see.
02:37 Say, life was a struggle in the prehistoric age.
02:40 Yes, you'll note, Junior, man was in his bare essential state.
02:45 Food was scarce and clothes were few.
02:48 And I see there was a housing shortage, too.
02:54 Ah-ha, now we come to the part where the whole idea gets its start.
02:58 Hey, buddy, wake up.
02:59 Turn around.
03:00 Here's your big chance to be world-renowned.
03:03 It is?
03:04 Sure, draw up that idea.
03:07 That's it.
03:08 Good.
03:09 Study it.
03:10 Now then, is it understood?
03:13 No, uh-uh.
03:14 What is it?
03:15 Why, that's a wheel like the one you've just seen.
03:18 What do I do with it?
03:20 What'll he do with it?
03:21 Hey, use your beans.
03:22 Think of the possibilities.
03:24 Where's your vision?
03:25 This is no moment for indecision.
03:28 Say, the wheel's a great idea.
03:31 Oh, no, boy, no.
03:33 That use of the wheel is hardly apropos.
03:36 Go on and roll it, boy, roll it down the hill.
03:40 Wait, I'll get it.
03:42 I'm sure you will.
03:44 Kazooks, Pop, this cat is really nowhere.
03:47 In some circles, we'd call him square.
03:49 Well, he's pretty slow, Junior, but don't be upset.
03:52 Hey, boy, you haven't got it yet.
03:55 Oh, yeah?
03:56 Say, who are you two guys?
03:59 Why, we're the Spirits of Progress,
04:01 and we advise you to pay some undivided attention
04:04 while we help you with your great invention.
04:07 Listen, and we'll show you how.
04:10 How what?
04:11 How to... well, just follow us now.
04:15 Find yourself a log.
04:16 Here's what you do.
04:18 Slice off a slice.
04:19 Yeah, better make it two.
04:21 Attach those slices to your sled.
04:25 Hey, pull it, boy.
04:27 Go ahead.
04:28 Now, young man, right here, you decide
04:32 why should you pull when you can ride.
04:35 You better add sides to this knockabout
04:38 so you and your possessions won't fall out.
04:41 Okay, driver, you know how.
04:44 Say, lookie there, he's making progress now.
04:47 ♪ Man's first wheels were heavy and queer ♪
04:51 ♪ Better wheels were soon to appear ♪
04:54 ♪ When the Egyptians came ♪
04:56 What did they do?
04:57 ♪ They made real progress ♪
04:59 How do you like those Egyptians?
05:01 ♪ Early Greeks advanced the wheel more ♪
05:04 ♪ Light and fast as never before ♪
05:07 ♪ And then the Romans came ♪
05:09 And what did they do?
05:10 ♪ And they made progress ♪
05:12 Old, old Romans.
05:13 ♪ Soon there were work carts ♪
05:15 ♪ Mail carts, strong carts, rail carts ♪
05:18 ♪ Carriages and gigs ♪
05:21 ♪ Wagons, chaise, and cabarets ♪
05:24 ♪ And all kinds of rigs ♪
05:27 ♪ Transportation vastly improved ♪
05:31 ♪ On those wheels how everything moved ♪
05:34 People were traveling.
05:35 They were going.
05:36 ♪ On wheels of progress ♪
05:39 [tires screeching]
05:41 [tires screeching]
05:44 [tires screeching]
05:47 [tires screeching]
05:50 Stop!
05:51 Now, another phase, Junior.
05:54 ♪ Taking good advantage of steam ♪
05:58 ♪ Out of someone's wonderful dream ♪
06:01 ♪ The locomotive came ♪
06:02 What for?
06:03 ♪ To add to progress ♪
06:05 It did add something.
06:07 ♪ Flanges on each rim of the wheel ♪
06:11 ♪ Rolled along on ribbons of steel ♪
06:14 Known as the railroad track.
06:16 Clickety-clack.
06:17 ♪ And tracks of progress ♪
06:19 Progress, yes.
06:20 ♪ Those trains got bigger, stronger ♪
06:23 ♪ And much longer, faster, too, of course ♪
06:28 ♪ Finally, man found that he could outrun a horse ♪
06:35 ♪ Distances got shorter somehow ♪
06:38 ♪ Lots of folks were traveling now ♪
06:41 ♪ And it was all aboard ♪
06:43 Toot-toot.
06:44 ♪ On wheels of progress ♪
06:46 [tires screeching]
06:48 [tires screeching]
06:51 [tires screeching]
06:56 Stop!
06:58 Now, the next phase, Junior.
07:01 ♪ One day, man cried blankety-blank ♪
07:04 ♪ While he grimly twisted a crank ♪
07:07 ♪ When the engine caught ♪
07:09 Watch it now.
07:10 ♪ He made slight progress ♪
07:12 Get a horse.
07:14 ♪ Rubber tires inflated with air ♪
07:17 ♪ Wheels were truly going somewhere ♪
07:21 ♪ And it was fun to be ♪
07:23 To be what?
07:24 ♪ In stride with progress ♪
07:26 Good old progress.
07:28 ♪ Soon roads were two lanes, four lanes ♪
07:31 ♪ More and more lanes ♪
07:33 ♪ Man sure took to wheels ♪
07:36 ♪ Sideways crammed and freeways jammed ♪
07:39 ♪ With automobiles ♪
07:42 ♪ Year by year increasing the pace ♪
07:46 ♪ Everyone got into the race ♪
07:49 It was the motor age.
07:50 Ooh, the traffic.
07:52 ♪ On wheels of progress ♪
07:54 [tires screeching]
07:56 [train whistle blowing]
07:58 [train whistle blowing]
08:01 [train whistle blowing]
08:03 [train whistle blowing]
08:06 [train whistle blowing]
08:08 [train whistle blowing]
08:11 Stop!
08:12 [train whistle blowing]
08:14 [crash]
08:16 I'd rather walk.
08:18 Goodbye.
08:19 What'd he say, Junior?
08:21 He implies he'd rather be a pedestrian, Pops.
08:24 Now, boy, that's a negative stand.
08:27 Let's get back to the problem at hand.
08:32 Almost two million years man endures
08:35 waiting for that great invention of yours.
08:37 You mean that thing?
08:39 Yes, lad, and don't you doubt it.
08:41 Why, even now, you couldn't live without it.
08:44 Aw, Philly, I'm doing fine without it.
08:47 No, no, my friend.
08:49 On this round Earth, you've been spinning since your birth,
08:52 round and round on a wheel like that.
08:55 Don't tell me. The horse is flat.
08:58 Pops, don't you know what Columbus proved?
09:00 Son, this boy is way back.
09:02 Millenniums removed.
09:04 Then let's fill him in and set him straight.
09:07 Yeah, say, Junior, why don't you elucidate?
09:10 Crazy!
09:12 Well, Swinger, here's the bit.
09:15 Now, the globe spins like a wheel.
09:17 You can quote what I say.
09:19 One full turn knocks off one full day.
09:22 Now, to check out the moon,
09:26 the fact we face is it swings around the Earth on a monthly basis.
09:31 Both Luna and Terra Firma, they cut around the sun.
09:38 And dig this. It takes a year to get that done.
09:42 It's like, man, a natural timer,
09:46 one of those deals where nature naturally makes it with wheels.
09:50 Wheels within wheels. You with me, Doc?
09:53 Same kind of setup we use in a clock.
09:56 A different wheel for a different speed.
09:58 Just what the hours, the minutes and the seconds need.
10:02 Say, jump on that large wheel, Neanderthal.
10:06 This is fun.
10:09 And now, plant your wedgies on the little one.
10:12 Went pretty fast, didn't it, kid?
10:17 Wow, it sure did.
10:20 Though it may seem incidental, still a basic fundamental
10:23 should be mentioned here before the point is passed.
10:26 Illustrating it by ratio, two-school mathematic ratio,
10:29 will show just how slow the gears go or how fast.
10:32 Count the teeth around these two gears.
10:34 You would know this if you knew gears.
10:36 Now, the largest, twice the number, you'll concede.
10:39 Twice the number, consequently, if you spin it even gently,
10:42 you'll observe the smaller turning twice the speed.
10:45 And that's the principle of the thing.
10:47 How the gear speed is related to the ratio we have stated
10:50 is the scientific principle of the thing.
10:53 Now attend this demonstration of some wheels in combination,
10:58 using shafts and bells and bratches, balls and cans.
11:00 Gears eccentric, gears elliptic, though their purpose may seem cryptic,
11:03 they are often found in simple diagrams.
11:06 Here are skulls and worms and sectors with escapements and connectors.
11:09 These demand no explanation, here I trust.
11:11 And the speed and gear reduction we determine in construction
11:14 is based upon the ratio earlier discussed.
11:17 And that's the principle of the thing.
11:20 That's the principle of the thing.
11:22 How the gear speed is related to the ratio we have stated
11:25 is the fascinating principle of the thing.
11:27 What's it do?
11:29 Why, nothing, boy. It just illustrates...
11:32 Fascinating principle of the thing.
11:34 But what's it for?
11:36 All right, boy, at your insistence,
11:39 let me give you a for instance.
11:43 A music box.
11:45 Love that tone.
11:47 And it led up to the gramophone.
11:53 See, boy, what wheels can do?
12:05 Now the gramophone progressed too.
12:08 Wheels!
12:11 You bet.
12:13 Step over to the music section.
12:25 Go on, boy, make a selection.
12:27 Okay.
12:29 There's cool contemporary jazz.
12:35 piano plays in bright rhythm
12:38 piano plays in bright rhythm
12:41 piano plays in bright rhythm
13:08 How about some hoedown music, old-timer?
13:11 hoedown music plays
13:14 hoedown music plays
13:17 hoedown music plays
13:20 hoedown music plays
13:23 hoedown music plays
13:26 hoedown music plays
13:29 hoedown music plays
13:32 hoedown music plays
13:35 hoedown music plays
13:38 hoedown music plays
13:41 hoedown music plays
13:44 hoedown music plays
13:47 hoedown music plays
13:50 hoedown music plays
13:53 And what charm the classic ballet has.
13:57 ballet music plays
14:01 ballet music plays
14:29 What goes, Daddy-O? I'm a little perplexed.
14:32 Oh, I see. You're gonna show us some movies next.
14:35 Good idea.
14:36 Down in front, boy.
14:38 Now you'll see how your future life will be.
14:41 You'll wake up in the A.M. with a good day's work in view.
14:45 Turn it off, boy.
14:47 Wheels?
14:48 Of course.
14:49 Wheels, wheels, wheels, wheels, wheels.
14:56 And wheels are gonna be involved in everything you do.
15:00 Wheels?
15:04 Certainly.
15:05 Wheels?
15:09 Wheels for big wheels.
15:13 (bell ringing)
15:22 (bell ringing)
15:25 Hey, don't wheels scare off that truck?
15:31 Oh, yes, boy. There's wheels behind that light.
15:34 In fact, most everywhere.
15:36 They may not always be in sight, but still they're there.
15:40 ♪ There's wheels to generate electrical power ♪
15:44 ♪ Industrial wheels on which production relies ♪
15:47 ♪ Persistent circles turning hour by hour ♪
15:51 ♪ To manufacture things of all description and size ♪
15:54 ♪ Wherever great machinery throughout ♪
15:57 ♪ You'll find those good wheels doing their job ♪
16:01 ♪ There's wheels in water ♪
16:04 ♪ Wheels in soil ♪
16:08 ♪ Wheels for lumber ♪
16:11 ♪ Wheels for oil ♪
16:16 ♪ Wheels every place, even in space ♪
16:20 ♪ Of all the great things man has begun ♪
16:37 ♪ You gotta rate the wheel number one ♪
16:41 So you see, my boy, no need to mention
16:45 you're about to father a great invention.
16:48 Oh, no! I'm not going to be responsible for that.
16:52 Goodbye.
16:54 What'd he say, Junior?
16:56 He says he's dropping the project, Dad.
16:58 And, by the way, this knocks our wheels out of alignment.
17:01 Like you might say, Junior, we blew the assignment.
17:05 I picked out the wrong boy, I guess.
17:08 But there was an inventor, nevertheless.
17:11 Oh, well.
17:13 ♪ Whomever he may be, I'm sure we all agree ♪
17:18 ♪ We'd like to tell him just the way we feel ♪
17:22 ♪ So hooray for the inventor ♪
17:25 ♪ The marvelous inventor ♪
17:27 ♪ The wonderful inventor of the wheel, wheel, wheel ♪
17:32 ♪ And great unknown inventor of the wheel ♪
17:41 [scatting]
17:44 ♪ The wheel ♪
17:46 [screeching]
17:49 (laughing)