Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00 [Music]
00:00:18 I love the reflection of the snow in the light
00:00:23 Alone on the mountain, a dot in the white
00:00:27 At the top of the world the spirit believes
00:00:32 But it's hard to breathe
00:00:36 People below never say what they mean
00:00:41 If they climbed to the top, would they rinse themselves clean?
00:00:45 The air holds a truth that could never deceive
00:00:50 But it's hard to breathe
00:00:54 And under the clouds you breathe easily
00:00:58 As if breathing alone would set yourself free
00:01:03 And the questions not asked as you crawl through the fray
00:01:07 Was the breath worth the day?
00:01:14 You spent breathing away
00:01:18 [Music]
00:01:21 Dammit!
00:01:24 Dammit!
00:01:27 Shit!
00:01:29 Shit!
00:01:31 Hey Barry, need any help?
00:01:34 [Laughter]
00:01:37 Hey Tony, put log on fire.
00:01:42 [Music]
00:01:49 [Explosion]
00:01:52 [Music]
00:01:57 [Speaking in foreign language]
00:02:01 [Laughter]
00:02:04 He's got a hell of a temper.
00:02:07 Hey, thanks Tony.
00:02:10 Dude, he's foreign, not deaf.
00:02:13 What?
00:02:14 You don't have to shout.
00:02:16 Well, sorry.
00:02:18 Found it!
00:02:21 So Barry, what's the surprise you got for us?
00:02:24 Obelisk Cuban?
00:02:27 You got Cubans? How?
00:02:29 Oh, you know, they swam over last summer.
00:02:32 Hmm.
00:02:34 Come on, how'd you get these?
00:02:36 My uncle Charlie just got back from Tijuana.
00:02:39 He always brings me back something nice.
00:02:41 Yeah, but now you gotta give these up, right?
00:02:43 Dude, I don't think Cubans count.
00:02:45 They obviously expect me to put 40 of these babies to waste.
00:02:48 Well, I think quitting smoking means quitting smoking.
00:02:51 But they're Cubans.
00:02:53 I don't know.
00:02:55 Please?
00:02:58 Yeah, whatever.
00:03:00 Cool.
00:03:01 Sweet.
00:03:03 All right, let's just light them already.
00:03:05 [music]
00:03:26 Que bella.
00:03:28 You said it, man.
00:03:29 Beautiful.
00:03:31 Thanks, Uncle Charlie.
00:03:34 All right, guys, it's a smoke sab.
00:03:37 It's time.
00:03:39 Oh.
00:03:41 [sniffing]
00:03:50 Here's to quitting.
00:03:52 [typing]
00:03:58 To quitting.
00:04:00 [typing]
00:04:05 To quitting.
00:04:07 [typing]
00:04:13 Salute.
00:04:15 [typing]
00:04:19 [ding]
00:04:21 [fire crackling]
00:04:33 [music]
00:04:38 [phone ringing]
00:04:49 [phone ringing]
00:04:54 Hey, this is Mark.
00:04:55 And Linda.
00:04:56 Leave a message.
00:04:58 Mark, it's Linda.
00:05:00 I know you're there.
00:05:01 Pick up.
00:05:02 Pick up.
00:05:04 Pick up!
00:05:07 It's no use.
00:05:08 You're probably passed out on your sofa again.
00:05:10 It's 1230.
00:05:12 You were supposed to meet me for lunch an hour ago.
00:05:15 I swear, this is the last straw.
00:05:18 Straw?
00:05:19 I'm coming over to pick up my stuff.
00:05:21 It's over between us.
00:05:23 I hope you're really happy, you vile, stinking, putrid, self-centered, insensitive, vacuous, idiotic, chauvinistic, worthless, jobless, brainless, heartless, soulless piece of monkey shit!
00:05:42 You have one unheard message.
00:05:44 One of your messages have not been heard.
00:05:48 First message left at 1230 PM.
00:05:51 Message one.
00:05:53 [screaming]
00:05:55 God damn it!
00:05:57 [screaming]
00:06:03 Uh, Linda, this is Mark.
00:06:04 Give me a call when you get this.
00:06:06 Bye.
00:06:07 [screaming]
00:06:09 Hey, Linda, it's me.
00:06:10 Oh, crap.
00:06:12 You're probably in class.
00:06:13 Um, well, just give me a call when you get out.
00:06:15 Love you.
00:06:16 Come on!
00:06:17 Pick up, pick up, pick up!
00:06:18 Answer!
00:06:19 Hi, it's me again.
00:06:20 Listen, I, uh, got a really weird message on my answering machine earlier.
00:06:25 Anywho, it's probably just now I'm playing a joke.
00:06:27 Just, uh, give me a call back.
00:06:28 I love you.
00:06:29 [screaming]
00:06:30 No, Mom, she didn't really say anything.
00:06:32 No.
00:06:33 No, no.
00:06:34 I haven't talked to her yet.
00:06:36 Yes, I tried calling her many times.
00:06:40 I don't know, Mom.
00:06:42 I don't know.
00:06:43 Yes, Mom, I'm still living in Alan's garage.
00:06:46 No, I don't think that's why she dumped me.
00:06:50 No, they're not answering their phones either.
00:06:52 Wait a second.
00:06:53 Hold on, Mom.
00:06:54 I think I hear a knock.
00:06:55 I'll talk to you later.
00:06:56 Bye.
00:06:57 Damn it, Billy, how'd you get out of your cage?
00:06:59 [screaming]
00:07:00 [screaming]
00:07:10 [singing]
00:07:24 Fuck.
00:07:27 [singing]
00:07:35 [singing]
00:07:47 [car engine]
00:07:55 Is it recording?
00:07:56 Yeah, yeah, I think so.
00:07:59 Cool.
00:08:00 All right.
00:08:01 Count us off.
00:08:02 Okay.
00:08:03 [clicking]
00:08:05 [music]
00:08:09 Alan, Alan, hey, stop it, stop it.
00:08:11 Alan, this is an A minor.
00:08:14 I know what a fucking A minor is.
00:08:16 Well, then fucking play it next time.
00:08:18 I fucking will.
00:08:19 [music]
00:08:21 Okay, count us off.
00:08:22 [clicking]
00:08:25 [music]
00:08:26 Okay, okay, okay, stop.
00:08:27 Barry, the pickup note is an F sharp.
00:08:30 I did play an F sharp.
00:08:32 Tune your fucking bass.
00:08:34 [music]
00:08:36 All right.
00:08:37 [clicking]
00:08:38 Let's go, Tony.
00:08:39 [clicking]
00:08:41 [music]
00:08:43 Tony!
00:08:45 Fucking A shit.
00:08:46 God damn it.
00:08:49 Fucking asshole.
00:08:51 Screwing mices.
00:08:54 [music]
00:09:08 I don't know, Alan.
00:09:09 You think we'll be ready on Saturday?
00:09:10 Dude, we're fine.
00:09:11 Our live debut will go fine.
00:09:13 And the women that will be throwing their panties up on stage at us will be fine.
00:09:16 Quit worrying.
00:09:17 We've been working our asses off for this gig since semester ended,
00:09:20 and we deserve a break.
00:09:23 Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:09:25 Hey, you know, we really should do this more often.
00:09:27 I mean, it's getting around the first of the month,
00:09:29 and I need rent money.
00:09:31 How's Friday, Alan?
00:09:32 Sorry, man, can't.
00:09:33 Why the hell not?
00:09:34 Got a date Friday.
00:09:35 Instead of losing your money to me,
00:09:37 you're going to spend it on some damn woman?
00:09:39 Damn straight.
00:09:41 Huh.
00:09:42 I think you might actually be growing a brain.
00:09:44 Oh, well, I'll have to win my rent off Barry then.
00:09:47 Uh, I can't either.
00:09:50 What's your excuse?
00:09:51 Don't tell me you've got a date.
00:09:53 Point of fact, I do.
00:09:55 No way!
00:09:56 You know, there are women out there who find me attractive.
00:09:59 And I'm sure you find them attractive too.
00:10:02 After all, it's not how a girl looks on the outside,
00:10:04 it's how she feels on the inside.
00:10:07 You're a monster.
00:10:11 So no Barry either.
00:10:13 Well, Tony, looks like it's blackjack, just you and me.
00:10:18 Let me guess, Elisa-ma.
00:10:24 I can't believe this.
00:10:25 First Linda, then you guys.
00:10:26 Everyone's bailing on me.
00:10:28 Come on, think about what times you bailed on us for Linda.
00:10:30 What are you talking about?
00:10:31 Sorry, I can't go out tonight.
00:10:33 Linda's coming over.
00:10:34 I can't, uh, drive you to the airport?
00:10:36 It's Linda's birthday.
00:10:38 Sorry, got no necklace for money for Linda.
00:10:42 Got no, got no money for Linda.
00:10:45 For necklace.
00:10:46 Got no Linda necklace for money.
00:10:51 [beatboxing]
00:11:05 So, Alan, who's this girl?
00:11:07 Her name's Chastity.
00:11:08 She asked me to tutor her for Algebra 1-9.
00:11:16 Well, things are going along pretty normally when,
00:11:20 out of the blue, she said...
00:11:24 What do you say to something like that?
00:11:27 [beatboxing]
00:11:47 And the rest is history.
00:11:49 Dude, you're such a he-slut.
00:11:51 Hey, gigolo.
00:11:52 Gigolo.
00:11:53 Gigolo.
00:11:54 Complete man-ho.
00:11:56 I prefer the term "him."
00:11:57 I think maybe "gotta real man" fits better.
00:12:00 Come on, that was months ago.
00:12:02 The pencil ain't took care of that.
00:12:04 You're not the least bit worried.
00:12:05 About what?
00:12:06 About going to bed with a complete stranger.
00:12:09 Fuck that.
00:12:10 How about going to bed with someone that easy?
00:12:12 Man, I've been dreaming about this since my balls dropped.
00:12:15 Balls?
00:12:16 Ew.
00:12:17 Dude, think about it.
00:12:18 What?
00:12:19 You screw this girl, you're screwing everybody she's screwed.
00:12:22 And if she screwed somebody who screwed somebody you screwed,
00:12:24 then you could really screw yourself.
00:12:26 Mark, I can't believe you're not backing me up.
00:12:28 Hey, if he wants chlamydia, it's his business.
00:12:30 There's nothing we can do to stop him.
00:12:32 You guys worry too much.
00:12:34 So stupid.
00:12:38 Hey, what about yours, Barry?
00:12:40 Mine?
00:12:41 Oh, mine, huh?
00:12:42 Her name's Marie.
00:12:44 Nice.
00:12:45 Pretty.
00:12:46 French.
00:12:47 Interesting story, really.
00:12:48 I just sold my legal limit of plasma,
00:12:50 so I was feeling a little puny.
00:12:52 I decided to sit for a moment, gather my strength.
00:12:58 Next thing I know, my face is in her lap.
00:13:02 All right, Barry, it's not like you to move that fast.
00:13:05 I was unconscious, you dipshit.
00:13:07 Oh.
00:13:10 Anyway, when I came to, I had her phone number in my pocket.
00:13:18 I called her last night.
00:13:20 Well, I'm free tonight.
00:13:22 Maybe we can do something.
00:13:23 Yeah, that sounds perfect.
00:13:25 Why don't we go see a movie?
00:13:27 I hear Camelot the Musical is out.
00:13:45 My name is Lancelot.
00:13:47 I come from Camelot.
00:13:49 I'm called the Lady of Shalott, so we should shag a lot.
00:13:52 My name is Guinevere.
00:13:54 It's getting real clear that you're the only man that's near,
00:13:57 so we should shag a lot.
00:13:59 Oh, we should shag a lot.
00:14:02 We're together alone, it seems, we're both in love.
00:14:06 Each other's all we got.
00:14:09 There's no one around, so let's lay down and--
00:14:12 On second thought, let's just have dinner.
00:14:16 She's absolutely wonderful.
00:14:18 Cute, insightful, funny.
00:14:21 Best part is she's a lady.
00:14:23 Nice rack.
00:14:25 If you really must know, her breasts are symmetrical, ample, and perky.
00:14:31 Perky?
00:14:32 No, Tony.
00:14:34 Perky.
00:14:35 But that's beside the point.
00:14:37 We'll get back to her place.
00:14:41 I had a really good time tonight.
00:14:49 Me too.
00:14:50 For a second there, I thought you were trying to steal my tongue.
00:14:53 No, I generally don't do that outside of my dungeon.
00:15:02 You have a beautiful smile.
00:15:05 You should use it more often.
00:15:06 Thanks.
00:15:08 You want to come in for a cup of tea?
00:15:10 Coffee?
00:15:11 Tea, thanks.
00:15:13 Trying to steal your tongue?
00:15:14 Surely I kiss better than that.
00:15:17 You certainly do.
00:15:18 And don't call me Shirley.
00:15:20 I kind of walked right into that one, yeah.
00:15:26 Then what happened?
00:15:28 We kissed goodnight.
00:15:30 Then what happened?
00:15:31 I went home.
00:15:32 You went home?
00:15:33 What did you expect, an orgy?
00:15:35 I expect you to at least get the second base.
00:15:37 Most people don't even kiss on the first date.
00:15:39 No kidding?
00:15:40 Yeah.
00:15:42 So Tony, how about yours?
00:15:45 Well, it's fine.
00:15:47 I speak very well in front of many people.
00:15:50 Why?
00:15:51 I have to practice all the time with the kids, with the girls, with the boys.
00:15:58 It's fine.
00:16:00 It's fine.
00:16:01 The fish are at sea.
00:16:05 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:08 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:11 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:14 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:17 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:20 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:23 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:26 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:29 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:32 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:35 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:38 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:41 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:44 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:47 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:50 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:16:53 (piano music)
00:17:20 - Anyway man, there's a thin...
00:17:22 (speaking in foreign language)
00:17:28 Anyone get any of that?
00:17:31 - Not a word.
00:17:32 (dramatic music)
00:17:37 (eerie music)
00:17:41 (clock ticking)
00:17:44 (eerie music)
00:17:46 (clock ticking)
00:17:49 (siren blaring)
00:18:07 (dog barking)
00:18:14 (dog barking)
00:18:17 (alarm beeping)
00:18:28 - Thanks, Billy.
00:18:39 (alarm beeping)
00:18:42 - Do you guys have any adult style films?
00:18:52 Like porn?
00:18:53 - Down the hall, just around.
00:18:55 - Thanks.
00:18:56 (siren blaring)
00:19:07 - Good morning, sir, welcome to Video Archive.
00:19:10 (phone ringing)
00:19:11 How may I help you?
00:19:12 - Barry, about our gig Saturday.
00:19:14 I really think we need another rehearsal.
00:19:16 - What do you mean?
00:19:17 You sound great, man.
00:19:19 - I don't know.
00:19:20 The intro to "Love of Mine" is still a little off
00:19:21 and I just really feel a lot better
00:19:24 if we had another rehearsal.
00:19:25 - Mark, I never thought I'd be the one to say this,
00:19:28 but you worry too much.
00:19:30 Just quit worrying.
00:19:31 We'll bring the house down.
00:19:33 - It's our first gig, come on.
00:19:35 - I'm not gonna buy anything.
00:19:36 Get out of my way!
00:19:38 Look, pal, I'm talking to my...
00:19:39 - Hello.
00:19:42 - You got something to say to me, Ron?
00:19:43 - No, sir.
00:19:44 - Get out of my way, fag boy.
00:19:46 - Here.
00:19:50 - You know they don't pay you to stand around
00:19:54 and act like a fag, pussy.
00:19:56 - Yes, sir, thank you, sir.
00:19:57 - Say it.
00:19:59 - Say what?
00:20:00 - Say you're a pussy.
00:20:02 - But that's not necessary.
00:20:03 - Say it!
00:20:05 - I'm a pussy.
00:20:06 - That's right.
00:20:07 Now get back to work, cock jockey.
00:20:09 Beautiful morning, don't you think?
00:20:19 Love your shirt, by the way.
00:20:20 - You ready to go?
00:20:21 Oh, hi, Mark.
00:20:25 - Linda?
00:20:28 Care to introduce us?
00:20:29 - Yeah.
00:20:31 Jacob, this is Mark.
00:20:33 Mark, Jacob.
00:20:34 - Pleasure.
00:20:35 Yeah.
00:20:38 - Maybe we'd better get going.
00:20:42 - Okay, then.
00:20:42 Well, I'll just be there in just a second, okay?
00:20:44 - Okay, then.
00:20:45 - All right, miss me.
00:20:47 - Bye.
00:20:48 - You're nothing but a little pussy.
00:20:52 No wonder she dumped you, bitch.
00:20:55 (gagging)
00:21:03 (screaming)
00:21:05 - Who the fuck is this guy?
00:21:09 - Calm down, man.
00:21:10 It's not like it's the end of the world or anything.
00:21:12 - Did you know about this?
00:21:13 - I didn't know about this.
00:21:15 I mean, what the hell?
00:21:16 - Dude, I said calm down.
00:21:18 - What?
00:21:19 I'm perfectly calm.
00:21:20 - Ow!
00:21:27 You fucking asshole!
00:21:29 - Oh yeah, well shut up, you ass!
00:21:31 - Excuse me?
00:21:32 - I'm not you, this fuckhead!
00:21:33 - Huh?
00:21:34 - What the hell was she doing with that guy, Alan?
00:21:36 - First of all, how do you even know she's with him?
00:21:39 - She kissed him.
00:21:41 - I see.
00:21:44 - Oh God, she kissed him.
00:21:46 I think I'm gonna be sick.
00:21:48 - Well, shit, man.
00:21:49 It was bound to happen sooner, later.
00:21:51 - Well, fuck, man.
00:21:52 It happened sooner now, didn't it?
00:21:53 - Listen, Mark, I gotta go.
00:21:57 - Four days, four days.
00:21:58 She left me four days ago,
00:22:00 and now she's running around with a black angel of death.
00:22:02 I mean, she obviously has no idea
00:22:04 what she's getting herself into.
00:22:05 This man is evil, pure evil.
00:22:07 You just don't understand. - Mark, Mark, Mark.
00:22:10 - Good morning.
00:22:13 - Good morning.
00:22:15 Hungry?
00:22:18 - Oh yeah.
00:22:19 - Afraid I don't have much to eat.
00:22:21 I got some cereal, but no milk.
00:22:24 Wait, I have some beef jerky.
00:22:27 - I don't want any of that.
00:22:30 - You're not a vegetarian, are you?
00:22:32 Think I have some ramen.
00:22:34 - You know what I want?
00:22:41 - Bagel?
00:22:42 - Don't play coy with me.
00:22:44 I want you now on the kitchen counter.
00:22:48 - Baby, come on.
00:22:49 We just went for hours last night.
00:22:51 Don't you just wanna cuddle, maybe spoon?
00:22:53 - No, I don't want a spoon.
00:22:56 I want a fork.
00:22:57 Oh.
00:22:58 - What now?
00:23:10 Hello, Barry Cobb speaking.
00:23:15 Hey, Barry.
00:23:16 Listen, did you get that asshole Jacob's background check
00:23:21 and credit info yet?
00:23:22 No, I told you, Mark, I can't.
00:23:24 Why the hell not?
00:23:25 - 'Cause I could lose my job, man.
00:23:27 - You mean to tell me that your job is more important
00:23:29 than your most important friend in the whole wide world?
00:23:32 - Yes, yes, that's what I'm saying.
00:23:33 - Okay, fine, Barry, but I will never forget this.
00:23:37 - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:23:39 - Oh, by the way, dude, can I borrow five bucks?
00:23:41 - Mark, I gotta go.
00:23:43 - Barry, your five minute break ended 10 seconds ago.
00:23:52 Back to work.
00:23:52 - Wait, can I?
00:23:53 - No, you can't.
00:23:54 Back to work.
00:23:55 Now.
00:23:57 - All right.
00:23:58 - This is Mark.
00:24:18 Leave your fucking message.
00:24:20 - Hey, Mark, this is Mom.
00:24:22 I'm just calling to check on you
00:24:23 'cause you never call me back.
00:24:26 Anyway, give me a call when you get this
00:24:28 and let me know how you're doing.
00:24:29 I love you, son.
00:24:30 (phone beeps)
00:24:33 (gentle guitar music)
00:24:58 (phone beeps)
00:25:00 (gentle guitar music)
00:25:03 (gentle guitar music)
00:25:06 (gentle guitar music)
00:25:33 (phone beeps)
00:25:36 (gentle guitar music)
00:25:40 (gentle guitar music)
00:25:43 (gentle guitar music)
00:25:46 (gentle guitar music)
00:25:49 (upbeat music)
00:26:14 (upbeat music)
00:26:17 (upbeat music)
00:26:20 (upbeat music)
00:26:23 (upbeat music)
00:26:25 (upbeat music)
00:26:29 (growling)
00:26:31 (upbeat music)
00:26:39 (glass shatters)
00:26:55 (upbeat music)
00:26:58 (upbeat music)
00:27:12 (upbeat music)
00:27:23 (upbeat music)
00:27:26 (glass shatters)
00:27:46 (upbeat music)
00:27:49 - A full pack of cigarettes?
00:28:06 This is the happiest day of my--
00:28:08 (gun fires)
00:28:10 (siren wails)
00:28:13 - Stay out of smoke.
00:28:15 - Brought to you by the Arkansas Department
00:28:16 of Healthy California.
00:28:17 - I thought she'd never fall asleep.
00:28:21 I don't know how much more of this I can take.
00:28:24 God, I have to pee.
00:28:27 But if I move, I might wake her up.
00:28:30 I'm not sure I wanna take that chance
00:28:31 because if she gets up, she'll just wanna screw again.
00:28:34 I need some time to heal or it's gonna fall off.
00:28:38 (growls)
00:28:40 It's gonna be a long night.
00:28:45 (groans)
00:28:47 Damn it!
00:28:53 (upbeat music)
00:29:05 (upbeat music)
00:29:08 ♪ I will confide in you ♪
00:29:26 ♪ I'll confide and walk away ♪
00:29:31 ♪ Leave your face up in the light ♪
00:29:35 - Test subject one nine zero seven three six.
00:29:40 Have a seat.
00:29:42 Make yourself at home.
00:29:48 Ah, oh, no smoking.
00:29:52 - What?
00:29:53 (sighs)
00:29:57 (radio chatter)
00:29:59 - I just need to ask you a few questions.
00:30:05 Do you have a history of chronic headaches?
00:30:09 - No.
00:30:10 - Okay.
00:30:12 Good, earaches?
00:30:15 - No.
00:30:16 - Okay, good, allergies?
00:30:19 - Well, sometimes I get this--
00:30:21 - Great, heart disease?
00:30:23 - I'm 20.
00:30:24 - Scurvy?
00:30:25 - What?
00:30:26 - Leprosy.
00:30:27 - Leprosy?
00:30:28 - Not a leper.
00:30:30 Surprise, surprise.
00:30:31 Okay, looks like you check out.
00:30:34 Got a new product for you to test.
00:30:36 - What is it?
00:30:37 - Well, if you stop interrupting me, I'll show you.
00:30:40 Here.
00:30:45 - Vanilla musk?
00:30:48 - I didn't name it.
00:30:49 I just work here.
00:30:51 We've been working with pheromones,
00:30:53 distilling them, refining them,
00:30:54 increasing their potency.
00:30:57 - Smells good.
00:30:58 - Thank you.
00:30:59 Well, tonight you will use only one drop,
00:31:02 tomorrow two drops,
00:31:04 and so on for the next 10 days.
00:31:07 Record any complaints you have in this notebook.
00:31:10 - Okay.
00:31:14 - If itching, irritation, or rash occurs,
00:31:18 discontinue use and contact us immediately.
00:31:21 Got it?
00:31:22 - Okay.
00:31:24 - Well, see ya.
00:31:25 - Uh,
00:31:26 just sign on the dotted line.
00:31:29 Don't worry about that.
00:31:38 Great, great.
00:31:44 Thanks, and we'll mail you your check in a few days.
00:31:50 - Thanks.
00:31:54 I really need that money.
00:31:55 - Thank you, Dr. Staples.
00:32:06 Dr. Staples, please.
00:32:08 (laughing)
00:32:10 (upbeat music)
00:32:13 (upbeat music)
00:32:15 (upbeat music)
00:32:18 (upbeat music)
00:32:21 (upbeat music)
00:32:23 (upbeat music)
00:32:46 (upbeat music)
00:32:48 - Stop.
00:32:56 (speaking in foreign language)
00:32:59 - Oh.
00:33:00 - Sounding good, guys.
00:33:01 (laughing)
00:33:03 - Let's just take it once more from the top.
00:33:06 - Let's not.
00:33:07 I said we break for lunch.
00:33:08 (speaking in foreign language)
00:33:12 - Now!
00:33:14 Now!
00:33:15 Now!
00:33:16 (upbeat music)
00:33:19 (glass shattering)
00:33:22 - Hey, Alan.
00:33:25 I know it's early and all,
00:33:26 but do you want a drink or something?
00:33:28 - No.
00:33:29 Why?
00:33:30 - You look like, you look like my little brother
00:33:32 before the riddling.
00:33:33 - What?
00:33:34 I'm perfectly fine.
00:33:36 - Yeah, sure.
00:33:37 - But out.
00:33:39 - God, you'd think if a guy got this much tail,
00:33:41 he'd be a little more relaxed.
00:33:43 - Son of a!
00:33:44 (thudding)
00:33:44 - Hey, hey, come on, guys, come on.
00:33:46 (thudding)
00:33:46 (screaming)
00:33:47 (thudding)
00:33:48 (thudding)
00:33:49 (laughing)
00:33:50 (thudding)
00:33:51 - Ow!
00:33:51 (thudding)
00:33:52 (gulping)
00:33:54 (screaming)
00:33:57 (thudding)
00:33:59 (screaming)
00:34:01 (thudding)
00:34:03 (upbeat music)
00:34:06 (upbeat music)
00:34:08 - I give, she takes.
00:34:30 I give, she takes.
00:34:34 And she never stops.
00:34:36 It's never enough for her.
00:34:38 I haven't slept for 48 hours.
00:34:42 The only reason she let up
00:34:44 is because I told her I had to go to work.
00:34:45 - But you don't have a job.
00:34:48 - Yeah, she doesn't know that.
00:34:50 - I see.
00:34:51 (laughing)
00:34:53 - I wouldn't have told her anything.
00:34:55 All she cares about is sex, and I can't keep up.
00:34:58 I need time to recuperate.
00:35:03 Right now, it's like trying to squeeze blood from a turd up.
00:35:07 - Ew!
00:35:09 - Anyway, I'm meeting her later on tonight,
00:35:14 and I don't know what to do.
00:35:16 - What can I say?
00:35:18 Sucks, man.
00:35:19 - Yeah.
00:35:20 - Mango?
00:35:22 - Tony, it's a banana.
00:35:25 - Banana?
00:35:30 - Yeah, sure, thanks.
00:35:33 (laughing)
00:35:35 - You gotta break it off, man.
00:35:37 - Yeah.
00:35:40 (suspenseful music)
00:35:43 - What is the matter?
00:35:55 You've been waiting all your life to date an infomaniac,
00:35:59 and you finally find one, and what are you doing?
00:36:02 Puss out!
00:36:03 - Don't listen to him, man.
00:36:04 - It's Amy.
00:36:06 What are you doing?
00:36:09 - Huh?
00:36:10 - Well, what is with the wings and the halo
00:36:12 and stuff like that?
00:36:14 - Oh, oh, sorry, Malachai, I just got back
00:36:18 from the Henderson's costume party.
00:36:20 Give me a second.
00:36:22 - Much better.
00:36:28 - You can't break it off.
00:36:30 There are guys, there are millions of guys out there
00:36:32 who would kill to be in your shoes.
00:36:35 - No way, man, it has to stop.
00:36:37 He has to think about his poor beer.
00:36:39 Tell you what.
00:36:41 - Damien!
00:36:42 Who said he won?
00:36:44 I mean, this is the most amount of tail
00:36:46 he is ever going to get.
00:36:49 - There'll be other women.
00:36:51 - Not like this one!
00:36:53 - Well, there won't be any more women
00:36:54 if it's Johnson Falls off, now will there?
00:36:57 - Well, you've got a point.
00:36:59 But still, it doesn't matter because no matter how much action
00:37:02 you give, I'm going to get you.
00:37:03 - Come on, future is never going to love up to me.
00:37:05 - I'm going to get the world banning you
00:37:06 out of the garage. - And you could be dead
00:37:07 in 10 years.
00:37:08 - Who gives a fuck?
00:37:09 - You're going to be in jail.
00:37:10 - It was not your fault, pal.
00:37:10 - You're going to be in jail.
00:37:11 - You don't go after women, I'm afraid.
00:37:13 But fine, just throw it away.
00:37:14 Fuck you, too.
00:37:15 But go on, just throw it away.
00:37:17 Who listens to me, anyway?
00:37:19 Just a guy with big fucking ears
00:37:21 and a wonderful leather jacket.
00:37:23 (upbeat music)
00:37:26 (dog barking)
00:37:28 ♪ So there you are ♪
00:37:34 ♪ My little dolphin name ♪
00:37:37 ♪ Wherever you've been ♪
00:37:39 ♪ Don't you know I've been walking so far ♪
00:37:43 ♪ Maybe this time I could stay a little longer ♪
00:37:48 ♪ Show you that I'll be gone again ♪
00:37:51 ♪ Oh boy, the end is done ♪
00:37:54 ♪ Just stand ♪
00:37:57 - So, how do I look?
00:38:23 - Right.
00:38:24 (phone ringing)
00:38:33 (speaking in foreign language)
00:38:37 (phone ringing)
00:38:40 (speaking in foreign language)
00:38:44 (phone ringing)
00:38:46 (speaking in foreign language)
00:39:10 (speaking in foreign language)
00:39:14 (speaking in foreign language)
00:39:19 (speaking in foreign language)
00:39:22 (speaking in foreign language)
00:39:26 (speaking in foreign language)
00:39:30 (speaking in foreign language)
00:39:36 (speaking in foreign language)
00:39:40 (speaking in foreign language)
00:39:44 (phone ringing)
00:39:52 (phone ringing)
00:39:54 - You okay?
00:40:00 - Yeah.
00:40:01 - Why?
00:40:03 (gentle music)
00:40:20 (clapping)
00:40:23 - Beautiful, just beautiful.
00:40:25 - Talking about the piece?
00:40:27 - Could be.
00:40:29 - Mark, what do you want?
00:40:31 - Where's Jerk-Ab?
00:40:32 - Mark, I really don't wanna go into this right now.
00:40:36 - No, Linda, well, I think right now
00:40:38 is the perfect time to go into this.
00:40:39 Linda, we need to talk!
00:40:41 - What's there to talk about?
00:40:42 We're through.
00:40:43 - But why?
00:40:44 What went wrong?
00:40:47 - You know exactly what went wrong.
00:40:49 - No, I don't!
00:40:51 I know this had nothing to do
00:40:52 with a couple of missed lunch dates,
00:40:54 but I had to figure that out for myself, now didn't I?
00:40:56 - Mark!
00:40:56 - Linda, what happened?
00:40:57 I thought we had a good thing going.
00:41:00 - Put quite simply, we didn't.
00:41:02 - We didn't what?
00:41:03 - We didn't have a good thing going.
00:41:05 I was miserable and so were you.
00:41:07 - Hang on, wait a second, I was miserable?
00:41:10 What on earth made you think that I was--
00:41:10 - Oh, drop the act!
00:41:12 It belittles us both.
00:41:14 Did you know how many blindly attractive men I knew
00:41:16 while we were together?
00:41:17 - Oh, God, Linda.
00:41:18 - I never would have had my pick of any of them,
00:41:19 but I chose to stay with you.
00:41:22 Why?
00:41:23 Because I thought I loved you.
00:41:25 Because I thought you felt the same way about me.
00:41:29 Because I thought that you were as loyal to me
00:41:33 as I was to you. - Damn it, Linda, just--
00:41:35 - You lying bastard!
00:41:37 (grunting)
00:41:39 (grunting)
00:41:41 (upbeat rock music)
00:41:44 (saw buzzing)
00:41:46 ♪ You've heard every kind of corny line ♪
00:41:52 ♪ You're so fine, so unfashionable ♪
00:41:55 ♪ You've been everywhere a thousand times ♪
00:41:58 ♪ You're so cool, so international ♪
00:42:01 ♪ Captured as a stowaway ♪
00:42:04 ♪ A barbecue we do ♪
00:42:07 ♪ Two weeks at C.L.A.R.S. ♪
00:42:10 ♪ So many miles away from-- ♪
00:42:13 - You look nice. - Thanks.
00:42:15 (sniffing)
00:42:18 (snarling)
00:42:39 (squelching)
00:42:41 (panting)
00:42:43 - Um, so what do you wanna do?
00:42:48 (grunting)
00:42:50 - Hey, hey, Murray, Murray, Murray, Murray, Murray.
00:42:53 What do you wanna do?
00:42:54 (grunting)
00:42:56 (upbeat rock music)
00:42:59 (grunting)
00:43:10 - Come on, come here, come here.
00:43:12 (horn honking)
00:43:15 (grunting)
00:43:18 Oh, no.
00:43:20 (grunting)
00:43:26 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
00:43:30 (panting)
00:43:32 (snarling)
00:43:36 (siren blaring)
00:43:38 - Self-preservation over sex.
00:43:46 That is beyond me.
00:43:51 Well, maybe if you had half a brain cell, it wouldn't be.
00:43:56 - Are you calling me stupid?
00:43:58 - Uh-huh, let me think.
00:44:01 Yeah, degenerate, retard, goody, goody, goody,
00:44:05 goody two-shoes, simple thing, sissy, merry, moron.
00:44:10 (tires screeching)
00:44:12 (screaming)
00:44:15 - Maybe I've been looking at this situation all wrong.
00:44:18 Maybe life shouldn't be spent in the constant pursuit of poon.
00:44:21 I used to think that if I could get it any time I wanted,
00:44:23 I would be happy, but I'm not.
00:44:26 I've just been thinking of women as sexual objects
00:44:28 and not real people.
00:44:29 Maybe if I got to know Chastity better,
00:44:32 I'd like her for the person she is.
00:44:34 And not for the things she does with her tongue.
00:44:36 (laughing)
00:44:43 (laughing)
00:44:45 (laughing)
00:45:14 - I think I'll tell her no more sex for a while.
00:45:17 Maybe if for once, I can actually base a relationship
00:45:19 off of mutual trust and respect.
00:45:21 And not just have her bury my boner.
00:45:23 - Dude, I think he's serious.
00:45:28 - Well, shit, you see what you did?
00:45:31 - Me, this is all your fault.
00:45:33 - Genius, genius, genius, genius, fucking genius.
00:45:44 (speaking in foreign language)
00:45:49 (speaking in foreign language)
00:45:53 (speaking in foreign language)
00:45:57 (speaking in foreign language)
00:46:01 (speaking in foreign language)
00:46:06 (speaking in foreign language)
00:46:11 (speaking in foreign language)
00:46:19 (speaking in foreign language)
00:46:26 (upbeat music)
00:46:28 (speaking in foreign language)
00:46:54 - Oh no.
00:46:55 (speaking in foreign language)
00:47:00 - Mrs. Robinson.
00:47:05 (speaking in foreign language)
00:47:10 (speaking in foreign language)
00:47:16 (speaking in foreign language)
00:47:20 (speaking in foreign language)
00:47:43 (upbeat music)
00:47:46 (upbeat music)
00:47:48 (upbeat music)
00:47:51 (speaking in foreign language)
00:48:12 (upbeat music)
00:48:15 - Oh no.
00:48:40 (upbeat music)
00:49:09 - I know you're here.
00:49:11 (upbeat music)
00:49:13 - Adam, baby, love of my insignificant, teensy bitsy life.
00:49:29 You cannot do this.
00:49:31 I won't, I won't let you do this.
00:49:33 - No more party?
00:49:34 What are you thinking?
00:49:36 (knocking)
00:49:38 - I'm still alive for the party.
00:49:39 One of the first in the building
00:49:41 but probably be the last out.
00:49:43 - Chastity?
00:49:44 - Tonight, I'm gonna party 'til I pass out.
00:49:45 - Join the party, honey.
00:49:47 - Yeah.
00:49:48 - I got a party pack of booze and a red wine.
00:49:50 (gasping)
00:49:52 - I trust in you.
00:49:54 - Got you.
00:49:57 - Jose on ice straight from my doty Arella wrap.
00:50:01 (groaning)
00:50:03 Vision blurry but the party still jumping.
00:50:07 - It's us.
00:50:08 (laughing)
00:50:10 (footsteps)
00:50:12 - I'm gonna party 'til I pass out.
00:50:22 (mumbling)
00:50:24 (phone ringing)
00:50:28 (groaning)
00:50:30 (phone ringing)
00:50:33 (phone ringing)
00:50:35 (phone ringing)
00:50:38 (phone ringing)
00:50:41 (phone ringing)
00:50:43 (phone ringing)
00:50:46 (clattering)
00:50:58 (clattering)
00:51:00 (clattering)
00:51:04 (clattering)
00:51:06 (groaning)
00:51:10 (dramatic music)
00:51:13 - Start, start you piece of shit.
00:51:16 (clattering)
00:51:18 (horn honking)
00:51:21 (clattering)
00:51:23 (horn honking)
00:51:26 (clattering)
00:51:28 (horn honking)
00:51:31 (tires screeching)
00:51:34 (dramatic music)
00:51:36 (panting)
00:51:39 (dramatic music)
00:51:42 (soft music)
00:51:46 (soft music)
00:52:00 - Nice night.
00:52:06 - Yeah.
00:52:07 - Help yourself.
00:52:10 How'd it go with the nympho, you break it off?
00:52:15 - Yeah.
00:52:18 How are you holding up?
00:52:19 - Barely.
00:52:20 I kinda wish you'd never introduced me to Linda.
00:52:25 She had remained a friend of a friend.
00:52:27 - What makes you say that?
00:52:29 - I think she found out, Alan.
00:52:31 - Found out what?
00:52:32 She take those hearings you got her to the jeweler?
00:52:35 (laughing)
00:52:36 - No.
00:52:37 - I think she found out about Felicity.
00:52:40 - Felicity North?
00:52:42 - Really?
00:52:43 Explains a lot, doesn't it?
00:52:44 - Yeah.
00:52:46 - I mean, damn it.
00:52:47 Just knew someday, someday this would bite me in the ass.
00:52:52 I mean, I knew it.
00:52:53 - Well, what the hell was I thinking?
00:52:54 - You weren't thinking, that's why it happened.
00:52:56 - Well, I must've been crazy.
00:52:59 - You weren't crazy, just drunk.
00:53:01 - I mean, how could she possibly have found out?
00:53:04 - I can't imagine.
00:53:06 I mean, only three people knew about it.
00:53:09 Myself, obviously, Felicity, of course, and...
00:53:13 - You son of a bitch!
00:53:17 - Mark, I'm sorry.
00:53:19 - How could you do this to me?
00:53:21 - The same way you did it to her.
00:53:22 I was drunk and she tricked me.
00:53:25 - That's no excuse.
00:53:26 - No, Mark, it's not.
00:53:32 - Alan, I...
00:53:34 Man, I, this is...
00:53:37 - Listen, she's my friend too,
00:53:39 and I care about her more than you'll ever know.
00:53:41 She's one in a million!
00:53:42 And you treated her like a complete ass.
00:53:45 I'm not even talking about the fact
00:53:46 that you cheated on her, bad as that was.
00:53:49 Bottom line, you should've told her.
00:53:51 - I should've told her?
00:53:52 - Yeah.
00:53:53 - Are you fucking nuts?
00:53:55 - She'd yell, she'd scream, she'd kick your ass,
00:53:58 but in the end, she'd forgive you.
00:54:00 You made a mistake, you're human.
00:54:03 Linda should've heard it from you right then and there,
00:54:05 not from some wasted friend she was taking home one night.
00:54:09 That shouldn't happen to girls like her.
00:54:11 - You're saying I don't deserve her.
00:54:14 - I'm saying you haven't been that impressive lately.
00:54:16 - So what do I do?
00:54:20 - Well, do you love her?
00:54:23 - I don't know.
00:54:26 - Well, that, my friend,
00:54:30 is the first thing you need to fucking figure out.
00:54:33 - Dude, what happened to you?
00:54:37 Why are you so helpful all of a sudden?
00:54:40 Did you take some sensitivity training or something?
00:54:43 - Did you take a sharp blow to the head?
00:54:45 - Maybe I gained some perspective.
00:54:47 - Perspective?
00:54:48 - Yeah, you should try it out.
00:54:50 It might do you good.
00:54:51 - Yeah, okay, Alan, that's good advice, yeah.
00:54:57 - Look, I know you've got a lot to think about.
00:55:00 Oh, and Mark,
00:55:03 heights and alcohol don't mix.
00:55:07 Don't get too drunk.
00:55:08 - Yeah.
00:55:25 (burps)
00:55:27 - Well,
00:55:40 I hope Tony's date's going better than mine.
00:55:44 (somber music)
00:55:46 ♪ And if I died today ♪
00:55:52 ♪ Would you shed a tear ♪
00:55:58 - Bella, Bella.
00:55:59 ♪ And let your grief be more than life ♪
00:56:04 (phone rings)
00:56:09 (groans)
00:56:11 - Hello?
00:56:17 Ew.
00:56:23 Fucking pervert.
00:56:25 (groans)
00:56:33 (water running)
00:56:36 - Dan Colone?
00:56:39 (groans)
00:56:44 Fucking neighbors.
00:56:57 Will you keep it down?
00:57:00 It's three in the morning, for Christ's sake.
00:57:02 (coughs)
00:57:13 ♪ Amazing grace ♪
00:57:26 ♪ How sweet the sound ♪
00:57:30 ♪ That saved a wretch who ♪
00:57:35 ♪ Cheated on his girlfriend ♪
00:57:37 ♪ And is never gonna talk to him again ♪
00:57:38 ♪ In a million years ♪
00:57:42 ♪ I once was lost ♪
00:57:46 ♪ And I'm still lost ♪
00:57:51 ♪ Oh ♪
00:57:53 ♪ Linda, take me back ♪
00:57:57 - Cheer up, asshole.
00:58:06 ♪ Gee, Linda made me brownies ♪
00:58:11 ♪ I ate them all ♪
00:58:15 - I got kids asleep in here.
00:58:17 ♪ But her cookies were much better ♪
00:58:23 - I'm about to call the police.
00:58:26 ♪ She put up with me ♪
00:58:31 - You're turning brownie on.
00:58:33 ♪ She's a sweet fine girl ♪
00:58:38 - What's that?
00:58:40 Some of us are trying to sleep.
00:58:41 ♪ Now I'm about to hurl ♪
00:58:46 (groans)
00:58:49 (growls)
00:58:52 (coughs)
00:58:55 ♪ Yes, I went to the doctor ♪
00:59:00 ♪ With my head in my hands ♪
00:59:02 ♪ The doctor said, "Big Bill, I think I'll have to ♪
00:59:04 ♪ Give you monkey glands ♪
00:59:06 ♪ Before you just keep on drinking ♪
00:59:09 ♪ Yes, I keep on drinking ♪
00:59:14 ♪ I'm gonna keep on drinking ♪
00:59:17 ♪ 'Til good liquor carry me down ♪
00:59:22 ♪ My woman told me to stop drinking ♪
00:59:25 ♪ And come on home ♪
00:59:27 ♪ If you don't, Big Bill, some other man ♪
00:59:29 ♪ Might have your business on ♪
00:59:31 ♪ But I just wanna keep on drinking ♪
00:59:34 ♪ Yes, I keep on drinking ♪
00:59:39 ♪ I just wanna keep on drinking ♪
00:59:42 ♪ 'Til good liquor carry me down ♪
00:59:47 (whoosh)
00:59:48 (gunshot)
00:59:49 (alarm clock rings)
00:59:51 - Oh, cripes, I'm late.
00:59:53 ♪ What you wanna say ♪
00:59:54 ♪ And you'll ask how you think it's best ♪
00:59:56 ♪ I'll be telling my friends it's a big mistake ♪
01:00:01 (rock music)
01:00:10 (rock music)
01:00:12 - Hey, Barry.
01:00:28 - Hey, Kim.
01:00:30 - Hey, if you see Alan,
01:00:31 could you ask him why he hasn't called?
01:00:33 (roaring)
01:00:39 (roaring)
01:00:42 ♪ Hey, you ♪
01:00:49 ♪ You never thought that I was mine ♪
01:00:52 (roaring)
01:00:55 ♪ I found you and now we're together ♪
01:01:00 ♪ Like, oh, you can't do anything ♪
01:01:02 ♪ But you should, you should be done ♪
01:01:05 ♪ Today is your last day ♪
01:01:07 ♪ Don't stop, it's your last day ♪
01:01:09 ♪ It's your last, it's gonna be your last ♪
01:01:14 (grunting)
01:01:17 (dramatic music)
01:01:36 (dramatic music)
01:01:39 (knocking)
01:01:45 - Mark, wake up.
01:01:46 (knocking)
01:01:49 (sighing)
01:01:59 (knocking)
01:02:02 Damn it, Mark, wake up.
01:02:08 (groaning)
01:02:12 Sleep well?
01:02:13 Bite me.
01:02:16 I fell off the roof again, didn't I?
01:02:20 It's okay, the garbage broke your fall.
01:02:22 Just get your drunk ass cleaned up.
01:02:26 (groaning)
01:02:29 (groaning)
01:02:31 One of these days, you're gonna break your neck.
01:02:36 (groaning)
01:02:39 Hexen alcohol don't mix.
01:02:42 Come on.
01:02:45 (groaning)
01:02:50 God, you're a heavy bastard.
01:02:52 What time is it?
01:02:54 About 6.30.
01:02:58 I warned you.
01:02:59 - Alan.
01:03:01 - Yeah?
01:03:03 - Please shut up.
01:03:04 - Sorry, man, I can't do that.
01:03:06 You're a mess, you know that?
01:03:08 You've gotta get a hold of yourself, man.
01:03:11 - Is that barf?
01:03:14 - Yes, it is.
01:03:15 You're not listening to me, are you?
01:03:17 Where are my shoes?
01:03:19 I don't know.
01:03:21 Look, Mark--
01:03:22 - You've never lost my shoes before?
01:03:27 Look, stay here, I'm gonna go up on the roof
01:03:29 and get your shit, okay?
01:03:30 - Oh, Alan.
01:03:31 - What?
01:03:33 - See if you can find my shoes, please.
01:03:35 - Sure.
01:03:36 - Oh, oh, oh, and Alan, Alan.
01:03:38 - Yeah?
01:03:39 - Could you make some coffee?
01:03:41 - Sure.
01:03:42 - Oh, oh, oh, and Alan?
01:03:43 - Yes, Mark?
01:03:47 What can I do for you?
01:03:48 - If you see Linda, don't tell her I fell off the roof.
01:03:51 - I don't think I can make that kind of promise.
01:03:57 (dramatic music)
01:04:00 - Oh.
01:04:15 (dramatic music)
01:04:19 (screaming)
01:04:21 (speaking in foreign language)
01:04:48 (knocking)
01:04:48 - Who is it?
01:04:49 You've come to dissuade me
01:05:01 from never speaking to Mark again.
01:05:03 - Actually, I came to hit on your sister.
01:05:05 Is she home?
01:05:06 - Are all men bastards, or is it just you and Mark?
01:05:10 - How lovely it is to see you too.
01:05:12 (sighing)
01:05:15 What are you watching?
01:05:17 (speaking in foreign language)
01:05:19 - Deep love?
01:05:21 - Profound love.
01:05:23 - Aren't we nitpicky today?
01:05:24 - It's a soap opera.
01:05:26 Maria is leaving and Luis Alfonso is trying to stop her.
01:05:30 - Really?
01:05:30 (speaking in foreign language)
01:05:36 (speaking in foreign language)
01:06:04 - Oh, Luis Alfonso.
01:06:06 - Linda, look.
01:06:09 - I'm gonna go make us some popcorn if you want some.
01:06:12 - Mark's a train wreck.
01:06:16 - Mark's always a train wreck.
01:06:18 - He fell off the roof.
01:06:20 - Again?
01:06:22 - Yeah.
01:06:23 - He needs to keep his feet on the ground.
01:06:26 - He needs a reason to.
01:06:27 - He needs an intervention.
01:06:29 - He needs you.
01:06:31 - I'm afraid it's a package deal, Alan.
01:06:33 Sobriety along with honesty, sensitivity, and fidelity.
01:06:38 If he really can't swing those four,
01:06:39 then I want nothing more to do with him.
01:06:41 - The man loves you, Linda.
01:06:43 What more can you ask?
01:06:45 Give him another chance to prove himself.
01:06:47 - No.
01:06:48 - Linda.
01:06:49 - No, let him prove himself to Felicity West.
01:06:52 - North.
01:06:53 - Whatever, let him prove himself
01:06:55 to a whole damned harem for all I care.
01:06:57 - He doesn't want a harem, he wants you.
01:06:59 - Oh, please.
01:07:00 - Shut up and listen.
01:07:03 He was out drinking and he got a little careless.
01:07:05 Does that make him stupid?
01:07:07 - Yeah.
01:07:07 - Does that make him not worth your time?
01:07:09 - No.
01:07:10 - The guy cares about you more than anything.
01:07:13 - Anything.
01:07:14 And that kind of devotion's gotta count for something.
01:07:17 - Who are you and what have you done with Alan?
01:07:20 - Hey, I'm just trying to talk to him, Cin Cincy.
01:07:22 Hold on.
01:07:23 Hello?
01:07:27 Yeah, this is he.
01:07:28 (upbeat music)
01:07:31 (upbeat music)
01:07:34 ♪ You've heard every kind of corny line ♪
01:07:39 ♪ You're so fine, so unfashionable ♪
01:07:42 ♪ You've been everywhere a thousand times ♪
01:07:45 ♪ You're so confused, in a nutshell ♪
01:07:48 ♪ Captured as a stowaway ♪
01:07:51 ♪ A far away dream ♪
01:07:54 ♪ It's so sexy and low ♪
01:07:57 ♪ So many miles away from home ♪
01:08:01 ♪ Strange and exciting connections of ♪
01:08:04 ♪ Secret agency ♪
01:08:07 ♪ Seeing in my soul ♪
01:08:10 - I wanna have your babies.
01:08:13 - I can cook.
01:08:14 - I like to cuddle.
01:08:15 - You used to meet my mom.
01:08:16 - I could wear a dress.
01:08:17 (whistle blows)
01:08:18 ♪ I feel you in my heart ♪
01:08:20 ♪ You're the one time, time is the limit ♪
01:08:22 ♪ Tell the kids to stop the revolution ♪
01:08:25 ♪ Day to day, oh oh oh ♪
01:08:29 ♪ You're not the problem, you're the solution ♪
01:08:34 (crowd cheering)
01:08:40 (water splashing)
01:08:44 (upbeat music)
01:08:47 (water splashing)
01:08:50 (water splashing)
01:08:52 (water splashing)
01:08:55 (panting)
01:09:03 (wind blowing)
01:09:12 (upbeat music)
01:09:22 (phone ringing)
01:09:24 - What?
01:09:39 When?
01:09:40 (doorbell rings)
01:09:43 (indistinct chatter)
01:09:46 - [Operator] Changing doctor's statement.
01:09:54 - Barry.
01:09:56 Oh, thanks doc.
01:09:57 Barry, where have you been?
01:09:58 I've been calling all morning.
01:09:59 - It's a long story.
01:10:00 What happened?
01:10:01 - He got shot.
01:10:02 - He what?
01:10:02 - The doctor says he's gonna be fine.
01:10:03 - How?
01:10:04 When?
01:10:05 - I can't believe this.
01:10:06 - Would somebody please tell me what happened?
01:10:08 - Somebody shot Tony.
01:10:10 (soft piano music)
01:10:13 - Look, it happened last night.
01:10:19 (dramatic music)
01:10:21 - Bella, Bella.
01:10:26 (gun firing)
01:10:29 (gun firing)
01:10:36 (gun firing)
01:10:38 (gun firing)
01:10:47 (gun firing)
01:10:58 - The milk was married?
01:11:05 - The milk was married.
01:11:07 - Bitch.
01:11:08 - As it turns out,
01:11:10 they'd been separated for three months.
01:11:12 Her husband got wind that she was filing for divorce and...
01:11:15 - Yeah.
01:11:17 - Anyway.
01:11:17 (gun firing)
01:11:21 (soft music)
01:11:24 - Hello?
01:11:30 (grunting)
01:11:35 - Ew.
01:11:35 Fucking pervert.
01:11:38 (crying)
01:11:41 - If the neighbors hadn't called 911,
01:11:53 Tony probably would have bled to death.
01:11:57 (soft music)
01:11:59 (soft music)
01:12:01 - Barry?
01:12:09 - Yeah, I'm one of those Cubans.
01:12:13 - They're in my car, I thought you'd never ask.
01:12:15 - Right behind you, man.
01:12:16 - Typical.
01:12:17 - What?
01:12:20 - You just quit?
01:12:21 I knew you wouldn't make it a week.
01:12:22 You have an inability to commit to anything.
01:12:26 - Listen, none of us have had a cigarette for six days
01:12:29 our first gig is in five and a half hours,
01:12:31 our best friend and drummer is lying in a hospital bed
01:12:35 unconscious with a gunshot wound.
01:12:37 Can't you think of anything nice to say?
01:12:40 - Sorry.
01:12:43 Go and get your nicotine fix.
01:12:45 I'll keep an eye on him.
01:12:47 - Thanks.
01:12:50 (soft music)
01:12:55 (soft music)
01:12:57 - Okay, listen guys, I'm telling you,
01:13:12 we're gonna need a drummer.
01:13:13 - What?
01:13:14 - Just until Tony can play again.
01:13:16 - Dude, no.
01:13:18 I mean, that's just not right.
01:13:19 - What do you suggest?
01:13:19 We go on tonight without one?
01:13:21 - We cancel the gig, man.
01:13:24 - Cancel?
01:13:25 You guys remember how hard we worked for this?
01:13:29 All those all night rehearsals?
01:13:31 You, Barry, remember when you passed up on that ski trip
01:13:35 because you felt we needed more practice?
01:13:37 And Alan, remember when you had to make out
01:13:40 with the manager's daughter just to get him to book us?
01:13:43 I don't think I've ever seen a woman that ugly.
01:13:46 You guys wanna quit?
01:13:47 We have sacrificed a lot for this one chance,
01:13:51 one chance to play our music in front of people
01:13:54 and I think Tony would want us to go on without.
01:13:57 Mark, face it, it's over.
01:14:00 Not 'til I say it is.
01:14:02 - Christ, Mark, Tony's dying
01:14:03 and you're still obsessing about some stupid gig?
01:14:05 This gig is important.
01:14:07 - Oh, but not as important as some friend's life?
01:14:09 - Don't you lecture me, you arrogant bastard.
01:14:11 Tony's as much my friend as he is yours
01:14:13 and I'm not damned if you--
01:14:14 - You wanna take a swing?
01:14:16 Come on, take your best shot, asshole.
01:14:17 - Hey guys, unless I can carry it away--
01:14:19 - You want a broken nose, you just keep on talking.
01:14:22 Maybe you do better while my back is tearing up.
01:14:24 - Sorry, that is where you like to stab people, isn't it?
01:14:27 - Oh, Barry, hold him!
01:14:29 (grunting)
01:14:31 - Oh, numbnuts!
01:14:33 Guys!
01:14:34 - Tony!
01:14:36 - You're alive!
01:14:37 - You're awake, thank God!
01:14:39 - It's okay.
01:14:40 Play a gig without me.
01:14:43 - Jesus.
01:14:44 - Hey, Barry and I were just talking.
01:14:53 - Yeah?
01:14:54 - Linda.
01:14:55 - What about her?
01:14:57 There's nothing I can do or say to have her take me back.
01:15:01 It's hopeless.
01:15:02 - Get your head out of your ass.
01:15:04 That's not what I'm talking about.
01:15:06 - I'm confused, what?
01:15:08 - She used to play drums.
01:15:10 - Oh shit, you're right!
01:15:14 - Hey Linda, in high school you played percussion, right?
01:15:20 - Hang on, Mark.
01:15:22 - You're filling for Tony tonight.
01:15:23 - I don't know.
01:15:26 I haven't played in ages.
01:15:28 And besides, my concert's tonight.
01:15:30 - When?
01:15:32 - Five o'clock.
01:15:33 - How long is your set list?
01:15:34 - An hour and a half.
01:15:36 - That's cutting it close.
01:15:37 We'll have to tune and set up at 6.30
01:15:39 and then we go on at seven.
01:15:41 - Well, Alan and I could do that.
01:15:42 We could set up, you could pick her up at 6.30.
01:15:45 It's cutting close, but it could work.
01:15:49 - What do you say, Linda?
01:15:51 - I don't know.
01:15:52 - Come on, you know our song's pretty good.
01:15:55 - Well.
01:15:56 - What?
01:15:57 - You'll do great, Linda.
01:15:58 - Please.
01:15:59 - Okay, Mark.
01:16:01 But I'm doing it for Tony, not you.
01:16:03 - Yes!
01:16:04 - Hey Barry, let's do a sound test.
01:16:12 ♪ Test him, test him, test him, test him ♪
01:16:19 ♪ Turn it off ♪
01:16:22 ♪ What, what, what, what, what, what ♪
01:16:24 ♪ Turn it off ♪
01:16:26 ♪ I can't hear you ♪
01:16:27 ♪ Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off ♪
01:16:31 ♪ I can't hear you, turn it off ♪
01:16:36 - Damn, that was loud.
01:16:37 - What did you say?
01:16:38 - And when I got out of the fountain, they finally stopped.
01:16:47 I guess the chlorine must have washed it off.
01:16:50 Yeah.
01:16:56 - So what about Marie?
01:16:59 I mean, is she like, I mean, she all right?
01:17:01 Is she back to normal or what?
01:17:02 - As far as I know,
01:17:03 she's still under the influence of Manila Musk.
01:17:06 - Is that her?
01:17:11 - Huh?
01:17:12 - She seems all right to me.
01:17:14 - Marie.
01:17:15 - Hey.
01:17:17 - Hey.
01:17:18 - Hey.
01:17:19 - Uh, Alan, this is Marie.
01:17:20 Marie Allen.
01:17:22 - It's a pleasure.
01:17:23 It's all mine.
01:17:25 - Shut up.
01:17:26 - Hi.
01:17:33 - Hi.
01:17:34 So, um, what's up?
01:17:36 - This is a little awkward.
01:17:41 - You can say that again.
01:17:42 - This is a little awkward.
01:17:44 - Cute.
01:17:47 - Barry, I don't even know where to start.
01:17:50 I couldn't.
01:17:51 - Look, Marie, it's really my fault.
01:17:54 I was wearing this experimental cologne and, well,
01:17:59 it's a long story.
01:18:02 - So?
01:18:05 - So?
01:18:08 - What now?
01:18:09 - Look, Marie, maybe we should take things slow
01:18:11 for a little while.
01:18:12 I mean, that was a strange experience to say the least.
01:18:16 I mean, for the both of us.
01:18:18 - I agree.
01:18:19 Definitely the most sensible course.
01:18:21 We need a little time to sort this out.
01:18:23 - Yeah, definitely.
01:18:26 - More than enough time for me.
01:18:38 - You can say that.
01:18:39 - Me too.
01:18:41 - Another pun averted.
01:18:44 - So, uh, are you sticking around for the show?
01:18:47 - I don't know.
01:18:50 I hear the band really sucks.
01:18:52 - What's an underage girl like you doing
01:18:54 in a place like this anyway?
01:18:56 - But I think I'll stay because the bassist is really cute.
01:19:00 - You're a real riot.
01:19:01 - Yeah.
01:19:02 When you say bassist, I meant bartender.
01:19:07 - Where is that bouncer?
01:19:09 (whispering)
01:19:11 (car engine rumbling)
01:19:14 (upbeat music)
01:19:24 - Well, well.
01:19:24 (thudding)
01:19:26 - All right, look, asshole.
01:19:27 You wanna get to Linda, you're gonna have to--
01:19:28 (thudding)
01:19:31 - Go through me.
01:19:34 (thudding)
01:19:36 (groaning)
01:19:40 (thudding)
01:19:40 - What gets me about pussies like you
01:19:42 is that you always go for one woman.
01:19:44 (thudding)
01:19:47 - I mean, Linda's a nice piece of tail.
01:19:51 Come on, dumbass, move on.
01:19:52 There are plenty of fish in the sea.
01:19:54 (thudding)
01:19:56 - You have no idea how to make her happy.
01:20:01 - See, this is the kind of thing
01:20:02 you gotta get out of your head.
01:20:04 Women don't need to be made happy.
01:20:08 They're like toilet paper.
01:20:09 They're meant to be used once and thrown away.
01:20:11 (groaning)
01:20:13 - You're a complete ass.
01:20:23 - I'm an ass?
01:20:24 No, no, no.
01:20:25 You're the one that's getting the shit beat, Natty,
01:20:26 for some broad that doesn't even want you anyway.
01:20:28 (thudding)
01:20:30 - I can't let you hurt her.
01:20:33 - I see, you think you're being brave.
01:20:35 (thudding)
01:20:36 And I suppose you think you're in love with her.
01:20:39 Listen to me, love is an illusion.
01:20:43 The pain is real.
01:20:46 (thudding)
01:20:49 - I've never liked him much anyway.
01:20:53 - I love you.
01:21:01 - Fuck you.
01:21:02 - I was an asshole, a huge asshole.
01:21:06 - No, you were a phenomenal asshole.
01:21:08 - You're the best thing in my life
01:21:09 and I took you for granted.
01:21:11 - You got that fucking right.
01:21:12 - Well, for what it's worth, I'm sorry.
01:21:17 (thudding)
01:21:24 - Apology accepted.
01:21:26 (coughing)
01:21:28 (gentle music)
01:21:33 - I love you.
01:21:35 - I love you too, you son of a bitch.
01:21:37 - I'll never hurt you again.
01:21:39 - I'll run your balls over a cheese grater if you do.
01:21:45 Are we clear?
01:21:46 Crystal?
01:21:48 - Fuck, what time is it?
01:21:53 - Oh, I nearly forgot, 641.
01:21:56 - To the Mart Mobile.
01:21:59 (screaming)
01:22:03 (upbeat music)
01:22:06 (coughing)
01:22:08 (groaning)
01:22:12 (thudding)
01:22:22 - Oh, God.
01:22:23 Ow.
01:22:25 (groaning)
01:22:28 (upbeat music)
01:22:31 - Look out!
01:22:51 (gun firing)
01:22:53 - We're patched.
01:23:00 - Now, I remember hiring four guys to play a set for me,
01:23:04 but I must be suffering from amnesia 'cause I only see two.
01:23:08 - They're coming.
01:23:09 We had to find a replacement drummer at the last minute.
01:23:11 Mark's picking her up.
01:23:13 - Well, if they're not here in five minutes,
01:23:14 I'm pulling you guys.
01:23:16 I have a business to run.
01:23:17 - What?
01:23:18 - I hired you guys to open for another band.
01:23:21 - A better band.
01:23:22 Now, if need be, they can play the whole night.
01:23:25 I am doing you guys a favor, not vice versa.
01:23:28 Five minutes.
01:23:30 (upbeat music)
01:23:35 (upbeat music)
01:23:37 - Thank God you're here.
01:24:04 Max was about to pull us.
01:24:06 - You look like hell.
01:24:08 - Oh, yeah, I got delayed.
01:24:11 - We're all set?
01:24:14 - Tuned in waiting.
01:24:15 Looks like we have a pretty good crowd tonight.
01:24:17 - So good of you to join us.
01:24:19 Get the fuck on stage.
01:24:23 - Yes, sir.
01:24:24 (thudding)
01:24:33 (clears throat)
01:24:36 - Hey, we're Cubanibus.
01:24:38 - Linda, this is a new one.
01:24:42 Four, four time, 190.
01:24:43 Get us rolling.
01:24:45 - You got it.
01:24:46 (upbeat music)
01:24:51 (upbeat music)
01:24:53 ♪ It seems like it's been a long time ago ♪
01:25:08 ♪ Since I let my feelings show ♪
01:25:15 ♪ 'Cause I nearly forgot what you meant to me ♪
01:25:21 ♪ What you mean to me ♪
01:25:26 ♪ I took you for granted ♪
01:25:29 ♪ We began to fall ♪
01:25:33 ♪ And I can't help but regret it all ♪
01:25:38 ♪ 'Cause I nearly forgot what you meant to me ♪
01:25:43 ♪ What you mean to me ♪
01:25:49 ♪ Absence makes the heart grow fonder ♪
01:25:52 ♪ That's what people always say ♪
01:25:55 ♪ But still it makes me wonder ♪
01:25:58 ♪ If it's the price I'll pay ♪
01:26:00 ♪ I need you back, I'll do whatever it takes ♪
01:26:03 ♪ Cut me some slack and let your wall break ♪
01:26:07 ♪ 'Cause we might not see it tomorrow ♪
01:26:10 ♪ The world might end today ♪
01:26:12 ♪ I need you back, I'll do whatever it takes ♪
01:26:15 ♪ Cut me some slack and let your wall break ♪
01:26:18 ♪ 'Cause we might not see it tomorrow ♪
01:26:21 ♪ The world might end today ♪
01:26:26 ♪ You were my queen a long time ago ♪
01:26:32 ♪ But I let my conscience go ♪
01:26:39 ♪ 'Cause I nearly forgot what you meant to me ♪
01:26:46 ♪ What you mean to me ♪
01:26:50 ♪ I shouldn't have wanted anyone else at all ♪
01:26:55 ♪ And I've never felt so freaking small ♪
01:27:02 ♪ 'Cause I nearly forgot what you meant to me ♪
01:27:07 ♪ What you mean to me ♪
01:27:13 ♪ Absence makes the heart grow fonder ♪
01:27:16 ♪ That's what people always say ♪
01:27:19 ♪ But still it makes me wonder ♪
01:27:22 ♪ If it's the price I'll pay ♪
01:27:24 ♪ I need you back, I'll do whatever it takes ♪
01:27:27 ♪ Cut me some slack and let your wall break ♪
01:27:30 ♪ Just let our relationship flower ♪
01:27:34 ♪ Tell me that you'll stay ♪
01:27:36 ♪ I need you back, I'll do whatever it takes ♪
01:27:39 ♪ Cut me some slack and let your wall break ♪
01:27:42 ♪ 'Cause we might not see it tomorrow ♪
01:27:45 ♪ The world might end today ♪
01:27:49 ♪ Absence makes the heart grow fonder ♪
01:28:05 ♪ That's what people always say ♪
01:28:08 ♪ But still it makes me wonder ♪
01:28:11 ♪ If it's the price I'll pay ♪
01:28:13 ♪ I need you back, I'll do whatever it takes ♪
01:28:16 ♪ Cut me some slack and let your wall break ♪
01:28:20 ♪ 'Cause we might not see it tomorrow ♪
01:28:23 ♪ The world might end today ♪
01:28:26 ♪ 'Cause I nearly forgot what you meant to me ♪
01:28:31 ♪ But I remember, I remember, I remember ♪
01:28:37 ♪ I remember now ♪
01:28:42 (audience applauding)
01:28:45 - Thank you.
01:28:46 (audience cheering)
01:28:49 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys rocked!
01:28:56 Woo, badass!
01:28:57 - Whoa!
01:29:03 ♪ Gone with the wind, gone like a ghost ♪
01:29:08 ♪ Gone like the one chance you needed the most of the time ♪
01:29:13 ♪ I'll be all right, but not today ♪
01:29:18 ♪ Gone with the wind, gone like a ghost ♪
01:29:26 ♪ Gone like the one chance you needed the most of the time ♪
01:29:32 ♪ I'll be all right, but not today ♪
01:29:37 ♪ Gone like her health, gone like his youth ♪
01:29:45 ♪ Gone like the innocence we tried to hold on to ♪
01:29:50 ♪ But we threw it all away so early ♪
01:29:58 ♪ And now it's miles away from me ♪
01:30:03 ♪ Oh, you're miles and miles away, away from me ♪
01:30:13 ♪ Gone from my lips and gone from my skin ♪
01:30:24 ♪ Gone from my four walls that you lived in for too long ♪
01:30:29 ♪ And now you're just a song for lonely ears ♪
01:30:35 ♪ Gone from my heart, you're gone from my eyes ♪
01:30:43 ♪ And all that you're left with, you realize ♪
01:30:47 ♪ Are my tears as your souvenirs from this trip ♪
01:30:53 (fire crackling)
01:30:55 ♪ 'Cause it's all miles away ♪
01:30:58 - Dude, that was awesome.
01:30:59 I didn't know they burned like that.
01:31:01 - It's all the oil.
01:31:02 Interesting little chemistry experiment.
01:31:04 Man, we eat these.
01:31:06 Oh yeah?
01:31:08 Look at this.
01:31:10 (snoring)
01:31:15 (screaming)
01:31:17 (laughing)
01:31:20 - Oh, that was--
01:31:21 - The coolest fucking thing I've ever seen.
01:31:23 (laughing)
01:31:25 - Hey.
01:31:28 Pussies.
01:31:30 - Goddamn.
01:31:32 - Benny, for your thoughts.
01:31:35 I was sitting by that campfire,
01:31:36 but you were somewhere else.
01:31:38 You got something on your mind.
01:31:39 Spill it.
01:31:40 - I don't know.
01:31:43 I guess I'm wondering why Linda took me back.
01:31:48 - Are you too retired to think that maybe she loves you?
01:31:52 - You went to bat for me, didn't you?
01:31:54 - Of course I did.
01:31:56 - Dude, you didn't have to do that.
01:31:58 - What was I supposed to do?
01:32:00 Let Linda keep torturing herself?
01:32:01 Besides, you're a pussy when you're heartbroken.
01:32:03 There'd be no living with you if I didn't do something.
01:32:06 - Dude.
01:32:09 - Don't get misty on me, Mark.
01:32:10 - Thanks, dude.
01:32:13 - What are friends for?
01:32:15 - Yeah.
01:32:18 (laughing)
01:32:19 - Barry's the new man.
01:32:21 - No kidding.
01:32:22 I actually heard him whistling today.
01:32:25 - Women are a marvel, aren't they?
01:32:27 - Mm-hmm.
01:32:28 On the other hand, I mean, look what happened to Tony.
01:32:33 I don't think he'll ever bounce back.
01:32:35 - Oh, he'll figure out a way to get through this eventually.
01:32:38 It's not like he has to go it alone.
01:32:41 Hell, he's got us, right?
01:32:43 - Damn straight.
01:32:44 - Damn straight.
01:32:47 (upbeat music)
01:32:50 (laughing)
01:33:03 - Give me the clap.
01:33:11 (upbeat music)
01:33:13 (fire crackling)
01:33:16 (glass shattering)
01:33:22 (upbeat music)
01:33:24 (upbeat music)
01:33:27 (upbeat music)
01:33:30 (upbeat music)
01:33:52 (upbeat music)
01:33:55 (upbeat music)
01:33:58 (upbeat music)
01:34:01 (upbeat music)
01:34:03 (upbeat music)
01:34:06 (upbeat music)
01:34:15 (upbeat music)
01:34:26 (upbeat music)
01:34:29 (upbeat music)
01:34:42 (upbeat music)
01:34:44 (upbeat music)
01:34:47 (upbeat music)
01:34:49 (upbeat music)
01:34:52 (upbeat music)
01:34:55 (upbeat music)
01:34:58 (upbeat music)
01:35:01 (upbeat music)
01:35:04 (upbeat music)
01:35:07 ♪ I'm Fred the Ferret ♪
01:35:08 ♪ I'm Fred the Ferret ♪
01:35:10 ♪ Yeah ♪
01:35:12 (upbeat music)
01:35:15 [BLANK_AUDIO]