Moms and Daughters Debate Botox, Naughty Lingerie & Gender Dynamics

Glamour

In this episode of "Mommy Issues," four mother-daughter pairs will answer truthfully about their opinions on feminist topics such as gray hair, abortion, cosmetic injections and so much more. Will anyone be surprised at the answers? Take a look!    Director: Claire Buss Director of Photography: Hil Steadman Editor: Estan Esparza Talent: Jazzmyn, Monica, Denver, Sidni, Gillian, Jacki, Leslie, Tiffani Coordinating Producer: Kevyn Fairchild Line Producer: Jen Santos Associate Producer: Shelby Boamah Production Manager: Natasha Soto-Albors Production Coordinator: Tania Jones Casting Producer: Nicole Ford Camera Operator: Rebecca Van Der Meulen Gaffer: Yessica Curiel - Montoya Sound Mixer: Phillip Kim Post Production Supervisor: Christian Olguin Post Production Coordinator: Scout Alter Supervising Editor: Erica DeLeo Additional Editor: Jason Malizia Assistant Editor: Lauren Worona Graphics Supervisor: Ross Rackin Designer: Léa Kichler Animation: Samuel Fuller

Transcript

00:00 - I always joke with her that she wants

00:02 to look more like me.

00:03 So she was getting the filler to have my lips

00:05 and then she got my eyebrows after.

00:07 - Why would I need to look like her?

00:09 I look fine the way I am.

00:11 - Today, I'm gonna be debating my mom

00:18 on different feminist hot takes.

00:20 - Yeah, I think it's gonna be fine.

00:22 I think we'll still be friends at the end.

00:24 - I think we're ready.

00:25 - Pornography is a bad influence in our culture.

00:30 - I think in the right sense, in the right way,

00:35 in the right use, like anything else, it's fine.

00:39 - It kind of can reinforce harmful gender stereotypes.

00:43 I feel like when, if kids start watching it at a young age

00:47 and that becomes their, how they learn sex.

00:51 - Parental controls.

00:52 - I know, but in this day and age,

00:54 I feel like it's so easy to just find whatever

00:58 and like consume it.

00:59 - When were you first exposed?

01:01 - I would guess maybe like around middle school

01:03 or sometime.

01:04 - What?

01:05 - Probably middle school.

01:06 - Really, how?

01:07 - How? - Yeah.

01:08 - The internet. - What was the context?

01:10 - You go into like private browsing

01:12 and you just, you Google things

01:14 and you try to find out what things are.

01:16 I don't know.

01:16 - Okay.

01:17 - Have you ever watched porn?

01:18 - Yeah.

01:19 Like when me and dad and I first got married,

01:23 watched it, but then afterwards it's like,

01:26 you know what, no.

01:28 - What type of porn do you watch?

01:30 - Men and women.

01:31 - What do you search on the search?

01:33 - I'm not free porn.

01:34 I'm paying for it.

01:36 I refuse to pay for it.

01:39 - I think that the earth is completely doomed.

01:42 - I mean, everything is a nightmare, right?

01:46 Like it's like 80 degrees in October.

01:49 I also think that like bad things are happening societally.

01:54 And if humans don't wipe out the earth,

01:56 we'll wipe out each other.

01:58 Does that sound pessimistic to you?

01:59 - Yes.

02:00 - Okay.

02:01 - I feel that people will step up and the world will change.

02:07 - I think your generation and the generation before yours

02:11 are making it very difficult to make changes.

02:14 - What do you mean by that?

02:15 - If you look at the lawmakers,

02:17 you'll notice that many of them have been in office

02:22 a very long time and are very reticent to make changes.

02:27 And it impacts kind of everything,

02:30 the fate of the earth being one of them.

02:32 - Every like three months I'll see a news article like,

02:35 we only have 20 years left on earth

02:37 if we don't make a change.

02:38 I'm like, is anybody gonna do anything about this?

02:41 - I don't worry about it.

02:42 'Cause I mean, like I'll do my part.

02:44 - What would your part be?

02:46 - Just recycle and do all the good stuff they want us to do.

02:48 - Having an abortion is normal and okay.

02:51 - Totally normal and totally okay.

02:55 And I never questioned it or thought otherwise

02:59 or equivocate on that.

03:01 Nothing, zero.

03:02 - I am pro-choice, yet I don't think abortion is normal.

03:07 It's not a form of birth control.

03:09 I think it should only be used if necessary,

03:12 such as like rape or something like that.

03:15 - I would never condemn anyone for getting an abortion

03:19 or thinking about it, but I can't,

03:22 it's not okay to me that an innocent child

03:26 has no agency over their life.

03:28 - I just think that it's an individual decision,

03:31 but I'm not okay with it, you know, for me.

03:35 - I also don't think it should be politicized.

03:37 - I agree.

03:38 - Women should have control over their bodies.

03:42 And I don't think that men should be able to tell us

03:46 what we can do with our bodies

03:47 because they don't go through the hormonal changes.

03:51 They don't understand how difficult it is.

03:54 I think everyone should have a right to choose.

03:56 - Have you guys had this discussion before?

03:58 - No. - No.

03:59 - We've never talked about abortion before.

04:01 - Why is that?

04:02 - I don't know.

04:03 - I grew up in the church.

04:04 So when you're in the church, normally,

04:05 you know how they teach you,

04:07 whatever they teach you from the Bible.

04:08 So you, something in your head, you're sort of that.

04:10 But once you become enlightened

04:13 and now you realize the world is not in a little box

04:15 and people make choices that they have to live with,

04:18 'cause I'm pretty sure it's not an easy choice,

04:20 but sometimes you gotta do what you have to do.

04:23 When women go gray, they should dye their hair.

04:26 Dye it away.

04:29 - She said dye it away.

04:30 - My hair's black and it's like, oh no, stay away.

04:34 - I feel like gray is like a natural part of aging.

04:37 - I didn't say it wasn't.

04:38 - I know, but I feel like it's pretty.

04:40 Like I feel like when people let their gray hair grow out,

04:42 it looks so pretty.

04:43 - Let yours grow out, okay?

04:45 - Women with full gray hair are super beautiful.

04:49 Like, and it's very chic.

04:50 If I went gray, I would gray all the way.

04:54 It's beautiful. - No, you wouldn't.

04:55 - I really would.

04:56 - I think if you are a professional woman in the workplace,

05:01 gray hair is a career ender.

05:04 - Oh.

05:05 - Professional Denver at work, no.

05:08 Nobody wants to take advice from a little old lady at work.

05:13 - Really?

05:14 - Yeah, no.

05:15 - Why did I say yes when I know that I should say no?

05:18 - I don't know, I just think it looks better.

05:19 I don't think anybody should say

05:21 women should not dye their hair

05:22 and you should just go natural

05:23 because it's part of the aging process

05:25 and you should embrace it and you should love it, et cetera.

05:28 I think that if you want to, you should,

05:30 and if you don't want to, you shouldn't.

05:31 'Cause mine's all natural, you know.

05:33 - I need my mom to like my romantic partner.

05:37 (bell dings)

05:38 Absolutely not.

05:39 I want her to dislike my partners

05:42 because she likes them so much that when it's over,

05:46 I would be surprised if she's not still in contact with them.

05:50 - No, you have to work through the issues

05:53 and understand what the issues are

05:56 so that you don't keep reliving it.

05:58 - I know how she feels about this person.

06:00 I feel how I feel and then there's no, I don't know,

06:04 she's not gonna take my side on it

06:06 or understand where I come from on certain topics.

06:10 So no, I'm okay if she doesn't like my boyfriend.

06:13 I think it's better if she doesn't.

06:15 - I have a boyfriend.

06:16 Jasmine hasn't met him yet.

06:18 And we've been dating for two years.

06:19 Sorry, Jasmine.

06:20 She was away at school.

06:21 She's been busy.

06:22 - I have been busy,

06:23 but whenever you wanted me to introduce him to you.

06:26 - If it gets to the point, if I get engaged,

06:28 then I'll say, okay.

06:29 - You're gonna wait until you already have the ring

06:31 on your fingers?

06:32 - Well, I get her all attached and she'll be like,

06:34 "Oh, my new daddy," and then he's gone.

06:36 - I think I'm like past that.

06:38 - Am I intimidating to your partners?

06:41 - Yes.

06:42 - Really?

06:43 - Yeah.

06:43 - Now looking back, there's nothing wrong

06:46 with you being intimidating to my partners.

06:48 Like when you're meeting someone for the first time,

06:50 you have that face that you have right now.

06:53 It's gonna be an impression.

06:54 - No.

06:56 I have considered getting Botox.

07:03 So I look in the mirror and I see some lines getting

07:07 where they shouldn't be.

07:08 And I'm like, why?

07:10 So I'm thinking just a little, but I've never done it,

07:13 but I've thought about it.

07:14 - Who says that they're not supposed to be there though?

07:16 - I don't wanna just get old.

07:19 I want to fight it all the way to the end.

07:21 - Not really, because I don't think I would ever do Botox,

07:24 but not for the reasons that it sounds

07:26 like I wouldn't do Botox.

07:27 It's more like I'm afraid of Botox.

07:28 - You'd be more likely to go for a filler.

07:31 - Exactly.

07:32 We had the filler discussion.

07:34 - You had filler?

07:36 - I did.

07:37 When I lived in Europe, I did.

07:39 I had filler in my lips.

07:41 - But you should agree.

07:43 - No, I don't because it was painful.

07:45 And I had my eyes tattooed.

07:48 - She did, yeah.

07:49 She gets cosmetic stuff done.

07:51 - No, but look, I had one done and then I realized in hurry,

07:55 but I was forced to get the second one done

07:57 'cause you can't be uneven.

07:59 I would never do it again.

08:00 - I would try it.

08:01 I've never done it, but I would try like a little lip,

08:04 like a slight lip filler.

08:06 - There's nothing wrong with your lips.

08:08 No, perfect lips.

08:09 - Are you sensitive about aging?

08:11 - I don't think I am.

08:12 I mean, I went through decades.

08:14 I think when I turned 30 and 40, I was freaking out.

08:19 I'm getting old.

08:20 But then when I hit 50, I was happy.

08:22 I felt like I'm in good health.

08:26 And you see people my age that are not in good health.

08:29 So I count my blessings.

08:31 - I would wear this if my partner asked me to.

08:34 This being, oh.

08:36 - Oh!

08:37 - I knew we had to get to something like this

08:42 at some point.

08:43 - No, I haven't.

08:44 But I'm always like the creative one.

08:47 So I was, too much information for you?

08:49 [laughing]

08:51 - Of course, why not?

08:53 Nothing but fun in my house.

08:55 No kids anymore.

08:56 - Oh no.

08:57 - I have some questions about

08:59 the structural integrity of this.

09:02 And I'm just gonna be honest here.

09:04 I would never be asked to wear this.

09:06 - This is a hypothetical question.

09:06 - This is the tiniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

09:09 - I'm shocked.

09:10 I was, I was.

09:11 - I'm not bad.

09:12 - My peripheral vision was expecting that red flag.

09:15 - You're here, aren't you?

09:18 Yeah.

09:19 - That's true.

09:20 That's true.

09:21 Women ultimately want someone to take care of them.

09:27 We're kind of taught by, you know, rom-coms

09:30 and just society in general

09:32 that you're supposed to be taken care of.

09:34 So that's your expectation as you get older.

09:36 But then the more you just live life and step into reality,

09:39 it's like, actually, I can be content on my own.

09:42 And so I think a lot more women

09:44 are starting to unlearn those myths.

09:47 - Yeah, I agree.

09:48 And I used to think that, you know,

09:50 having a partner, you know, was necessary.

09:54 But the longer I lived and lived my life and was okay,

09:59 I'm pretty content.

10:00 - My parent had like seven kids.

10:02 We were very independent.

10:03 Everyone did their, you know, ironed their clothes,

10:05 made their food.

10:06 So I think after I got divorced,

10:08 I figured everybody needs to know how to do the laundry.

10:11 Even though, guess who messed up the laundry yesterday?

10:14 - Oh.

10:15 - Oh, sorry.

10:16 I should not have said that.

10:18 Her white clothes became pink.

10:19 - Did you do anything new about your mom?

10:22 - No, she types "free porn" into the search bar.

10:25 - That's exciting.

10:26 - I think the biggest shocker for me was the candy bar.

10:30 I did not expect that one, but I'm not mad at it.

10:33 - Thanks for doing this with me.

10:36 I had a good time.

10:37 - Me too.

10:38 - Thanks for watching.

10:41 (upbeat music)

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