Category
😹
AmusantTranscription
00:00 Sabrina the Animated Series, Episode 23.
00:03 Sabrina says something she should know is stupid, and Chloe says that's an urban myth.
00:09 You mean legend.
00:11 And somehow some of the cafeteria food is alive, and no one questions it burping.
00:16 Obviously the cafeteria workers are witch.
00:19 Harvey asks if Sabrina's got a cool family recipe for the block party.
00:24 Jem gets Sabrina jealous.
00:26 Chloe reassures her that no one should care about Jem's family tree.
00:30 She finds out Sabrina's ancestors built Atlantis.
00:34 Salem was the architect of it.
00:36 And back it's sent into the cauldron.
00:38 Sabrina wants to whip up a batch for the block party.
00:42 Zelda somehow tells her that she can't cook witch food for mortals and should know better.
00:47 If she should know better, there's no excuse for even considering it.
00:52 If she doesn't know the reason why she shouldn't do it, there's no excuse for not explaining it yourself.
00:59 There's also no excuse for mortals not reacting to witch food the same way witches do.
01:04 Why would witches eat that food if it's gonna have a magical effect on anybody?
01:09 Salem's proud of her initiative when she plans to use her old family recipes anyways.
01:14 When you'd think he would be opposed to the magical effects on mortals.
01:19 Because he likes the idea of Sabrina using magic for good.
01:23 Why the hell didn't Zelda tell her why she shouldn't do this?
01:26 This show is just a PSA against that kind of lazy parenting.
01:30 I like seeing the recipe get made with magic.
01:33 But the episode is just frustrating because it's so forced.
01:37 Somehow, even when Salem eats a piece of the cake, magic happens to him too.
01:43 The ants get shocked at seeing the kitchen totally clean because of him.
01:48 I wish it was always like this.
01:50 Quigley's smart enough to wonder if he did anything wrong.
01:53 Salem wants to raise money for local charities.
01:56 And I'm wondering why witch food is cursed to be this way.
02:00 The plot takes a needlessly long time before the mortals eat Sabrina's cake.
02:04 There's nothing but boredom before then, and Harvey getting to enjoy a chicken leg.
02:08 I wish it was explained that mortals wouldn't be able to see the obviously magical effect of it.
02:14 The witch food makes Harvey a bully.
02:16 Sabrina wipes off a part of the recipe book's page and finds out that the cake turned someone's personality upside down.
02:24 There's no chance in hell that Sabrina would have not cleaned off the page before following the recipe.
02:30 I like the idea of an upside-down cake turning people's personalities upside down.
02:35 Whether or not it's a bad thing depends on the individual affected by it.
02:40 So I think the recipe's inventor isn't outright evil or a saint, just irresponsible and fun-loving.
02:46 I wish that was explained, because this feels so arbitrary.
02:50 This episode doesn't have a real plot after this point.
02:53 There's really nothing to say about the story for quite a while.
02:56 It's just about showing you characters acting the opposite of how they usually do.
03:01 In ways that don't matter to the plot.
03:04 It's wrong in that they'd be embarrassed when told how they were acting later on.
03:08 So fun.
03:10 It makes sense because the inventor of the recipe did it to be spiteful.
03:14 I wish it was explained right away that when you ingest magical food, casting a spell won't undo the spell right away.
03:21 Jem asks Sabrina if she'll use magic and fix this mess.
03:24 Why does Sabrina take so long to react to this?
03:28 It doesn't make any sense that the witch food would make her figure out she's a witch when nobody else had that happen to them.
03:34 She says Sabrina doesn't even wear a disguise.
03:38 So what?
03:40 That comes out of nowhere.
03:42 I really love seeing Jem be helpful to her.
03:44 Why doesn't every mortal know her secret now?
03:47 Except Chloe, if that's logic.
03:50 So we'd know it.
03:52 Also, Jem has always been smart, aside from the fact that it's stupid of her to be mean to Sabrina.
03:57 Who's usually the only person she's mean to.
04:00 Sabrina cures Salem, and he bitches about her hug.
04:04 He didn't act that mean the last time she hugged him.
04:08 The ants eventually get given drinks to get returned to normal.
04:12 Hilda tells Zelda she's wearing a cute toga.
04:15 And the whole time I have to assume a part of the spell is that nobody remembers how they were acting differently when they were cursed.
04:22 But why would someone evil enough to make a curse be that merciful?
04:26 I don't see why you'd forget how you were acting before.
04:30 Just because your personality was returned to the way it was before.
04:33 Sabrina keeps turning people back to normal with the antidote.
04:36 We see someone entertain kids by playing a harp and singing calmly.
04:41 Jem spends time holding cups for Sabrina.
04:44 Sabrina could've cast a levitation spell to have them float alongside her the whole time.
04:49 It's nice of Sabrina to tell Jem that she shouldn't follow her into Harvey because it's too dangerous.
04:55 Sabrina encounters some resistance from Harvey.
04:58 And somehow she doesn't just instantly brainwash him into eating the witch food.
05:02 Even after he says he plans to alter the water supply with the magic food so everyone would be just like him.
05:08 Harvey thinks he's doing everyone a favor.
05:11 Eventually, out of sheer dumb luck, Harvey gets returned to normal in a forgettable way.
05:17 Sabrina says Jem saved the day and hugs her.
05:21 Sabrina's forced to say she's glad everything's back to normal when she'd know no one would believe that.
05:27 She smartly throws a cake into the garbage.
05:30 Then Jem somehow says with a smile that she should change you back to normal because she doesn't want to live a lie.
05:36 Why? If she's nice now, she'd know that she should remain this way for the good of the world.
05:42 The normal Jem is selfish, so she wouldn't have any selfishness in her.
05:47 The writer would know that we'd want her to stay like this. He could make a new character like Jem if he thinks that's mandatory.
05:54 Sabrina's smart enough to want her to stay the way she is, but she keeps getting told to change her back to normal.
06:00 With what she should know as a blatant falsehood that the nice Jem would always be deep within her.
06:05 Jem admits that her family didn't really come over on the Mayflower and apologizes to her.
06:10 Even though the apology is meaningless here because it's not from the real Jem.
06:14 Jem reluctantly apologizes to her for calling her a loser, so she subconsciously remembers that she's not so bad after all.
06:22 Which makes no sense. If the reason nobody remembers what happened is that their brain was turned back in time.
06:30 Instead it just looks like only the part of their brain that contains memories was de-aged.
06:36 Sabrina gives a toxic message that there's good in everyone when that's not really true.
06:41 Why does the episode keep wasting her time showing the cockroaches talking?
06:45 It could only be the case because a witch made it that way and it wasn't undone yet.
06:50 I think this is actually a good episode, because it was just interesting to see everyone act the opposite of how they usually do.
06:57 While it does need some better justification to not feel frustratingly arbitrary,
07:02 it's okay because it's easy to assume that the cake has this effect because the recipe's creator is an irresponsible monster.
07:09 Who wants people humiliated when they get told how they were acting.
07:13 The whole plot shouldn't have happened though, because Zelda would have told Sabrina that the reason she shouldn't give mortals witch food is that they'd fall under a spell.
07:21 Which isn't even supposed to be true most of the time.
07:24 Because it's almost never shown that if you eat witch food like bat wings or something, a spell would happen to you.
07:30 It affects Salem too, so if it's not that witches are immune to it, even witches wouldn't eat it.
07:36 The plot also needed to explain that the reason Sabrina can't just point to instantly undo the problem is that the witch's food's still being digested by everyone,
07:44 and it's immune to magic that isn't from its antidote.
07:48 The episode may have mostly wasted the concept of Gem being nice, since she just did what Chloe could've,
07:54 and if Sabrina was in character, she'd be smart enough to do what she did anyways.
07:59 But Gem barely doing anything keeps it from being too tragic that she nonsensically tells Sabrina to return to normal.
08:06 It's a good episode, but still demonizes magic.
08:10 Sabrina the Animated Series, Episode 24.
08:14 You'd think the episode title was misspelled, but it's actually not.
08:18 After I have to listen to an alarm clock, a rooster plays a trumpet,
08:23 and Salem plays the guitar, scaring Sabrina into waking up, because she wanted to make sure she wouldn't be late for school today.
08:31 Zelda says Hilda needed special eggs for a spell.
08:35 I wish I knew what that spell was for.
08:38 I hate how awful Quigley is that Zelda has to try to keep her from saying "spell" to fool him somehow,
08:45 and he condescendingly says he's proud of them for not relying on magic, and they're showing maturity.
08:51 Hilda uses magic to reveal that Sabrina was wearing an invisible hat, and they lecture her not wanting to disgrace the family.
08:59 Sabrina whines for a while that she has to wear a special outfit to set herself apart,
09:05 because it's school day about individuality.
09:09 I don't remember that.
09:11 The magic spot was only worth it because it showed Gem running from a polar bear screaming.
09:17 Sabrina lectures that the only thing that matters in school is what others think of her, because she's a kid.
09:23 She shouldn't have to explain this to Quigley.
09:26 Why did she even try asking them to let her use the spooky jar?
09:31 Quigley says until her mom gets back from a city she's excavating, he's in charge,
09:37 and she doesn't want magic being used because she's just as bad as him.
09:41 Chloe says someone's being a phony, and it's annoying that she and Sabrina look impressed because she's good at it.
09:47 The scene's just annoying.
09:49 One of the best things about the Sabrina series was not having any cliche school scenes like this.
09:55 Chloe's annoying by gushing about the fact that the most socially influential cheerleaders are talking to Sabrina.
10:02 She talks too much.
10:04 The cheerleaders approach her because she's got a sock on her head.
10:08 Somehow one of them talks like Sabrina has a chance at being a cheerleader because of this,
10:13 which could only make sense if really they were never planning to pick her and were just giving her false hope.
10:19 One of them says Gem gives them phones and matching jackets, which is why she's their favorite,
10:25 so it's good that Gem's being nice with their money.
10:28 Why annoy the audience by having these girls talk in a condescending tone and waste their time doing a cheer?
10:34 Students only have a few minutes between classes.
10:37 They wouldn't have all this time to chat in the halls.
10:40 Sabrina kicks Harvey for some reason.
10:43 Because the cheerleaders are in front of her, she doesn't want him to suggest pulling pranks,
10:47 so she kicks him uncharacteristically yet again, and he calls her out.
10:52 Sabrina wouldn't have pulled pranks without magic anyways,
10:56 so it's bad that Harvey acted like he was just like her to do that.
10:59 I'm also confused that acting like a prankster wouldn't be popular with the cheerleaders who are stereotypical mean popular girls.
11:08 If they're in favor of being mean to people they don't like,
11:12 why would they even imply that they disapprove of a prankster being mean to someone he doesn't like?
11:20 You'd think they would clarify that they like her being a prankster because it makes her look cool and relatable.
11:27 Sure, it's also childish, but like they're not.
11:31 Sabrina doesn't exactly get my sympathy by saying that her life is over if she's not picked over gem.
11:37 The story spends a needlessly long time on Sabrina being polite and nice to a clearly lame kid who has cartoonishly obvious dandruff in its piece.
11:47 There's no reason that if she's nice, she'd happily remind Sabrina of the time her teacher somehow didn't excuse her to go to the bathroom until it was too late.
11:56 It's a miracle that the cheerleaders decided to walk away without taunting her very much.
12:02 All she did was say she'd love to hear the rest, but somehow she didn't insist on it.
12:07 I assume the reason they're just being subtle is that the writer thinks it makes sense because they're girls.
12:14 Which is just sexist.
12:17 And the principal says she'd love for Sabrina to spend every moment together with the loser kid.
12:23 I assume out of pity.
12:25 Even if she wants a teacher, she'd be a lot happier hanging out with her than trying to impress people who clearly already made up their minds that she's a loser.
12:33 While Sabrina does want to impress the popular girls, it'd be better if Sabrina chose to hang out with the loser girl because it would remind us that she's supposed to be a goody two-shoes.
12:44 Sabrina keeps getting stuff on her out of clumsiness in a montage.
12:48 At least it's satisfying to keep seeing one of the mean girls act melodramatic and exhausted.
12:53 The cheerleaders get terrified when Ant Farm gets loose.
12:56 There's no reason she'd bring the ant collection to school.
12:59 And like with Rotor, I don't even know why the ants were able to escape in the first place.
13:04 Doesn't she have a lot of experience with ant farms?
13:07 Sabrina says her friend's loyal, and Chloe says she's a social outcast so she's gotta get rid of her.
13:13 I just have to hope that she's only saying this to keep Sabrina from continually being humiliated in front of the cheerleaders.
13:20 And so there's some compassion in this.
13:22 Isn't she supposed to be a good person?
13:24 And that's why I'm supposed to like her?
13:26 I don't see her constantly showing talents and being useful.
13:31 Why write this?
13:33 Why am I supposed to believe that a kid can't join the cheerleading squad because of the arbitrary wince of the cheerleaders when I'm sure that it'd really be about cheerleading talent?
13:42 But I guess it still is because she's also competing with Jem who presumably does have cheerleading talent.
13:49 Sabrina lies to the loser that she's gonna be busy for a long time, and then decides to try to give Norma a makeover to make her more popular.
13:58 She does make her look better, but I just have to assume that it fails because the snorting noise is arbitrarily made and it cuts to them giving up on her because their geekiness shines through anyways.
14:10 And the whole time they are just ignoring their witches.
14:13 The family considers using magic, somehow with more than just Sabrina caring about this.
14:19 If Zelda is against using the spooky jar, why didn't she zap it into another universe?
14:25 Zelda reminds them that they always get caught and gets reminded that it's because she somehow always rants them out, so why would she say they always get caught?
14:34 She lectures them that they'll stay teens forever if they keep getting discovered for using magic, somehow thinking that being youthful is bad.
14:42 It should really be explained that she's against this because she wants a husband.
14:47 Being youthful is still worth being single.
14:50 Spooky wastes too much time boring me, rhyming for no reason.
14:54 It got old in just a couple episodes that Sabrina keeps thinking she can trust magic to make a major change when dozens of episodes disprove that.
15:03 Why didn't Zelda get rid of the spooky jar in the first episode?
15:07 If the idea behind Zelda not doing so after the first time is that it's too tempting to them.
15:13 With Norm the Genie and the Fairly Oddparents, the first time someone's wishing it screwed up, he was like "I wish I never met you!"
15:20 So how is this not the case with spooky?
15:23 When they don't even need him, and it's never implied that magic runs out really quickly, because we never see it happen.
15:31 Why isn't Norma freaking out and Salem insulting her?
15:35 A kid going by Norma says he likes Norma's hair.
15:38 The cheerleader's flattering Norma after this is predictable.
15:42 It sure is nice of the spell to make Norma popular for who she is instead of making her look and act normal.
15:48 The only reason he would be nice to Norma instead of Sabrina is that he wants Sabrina to realize the error of her ways.
15:55 But he always acts like he's evil, so why would he be well-intentioned?
15:59 Harvey's nice and Sabrina kicks him because they're in front of the cheerleaders.
16:04 Even Jem doesn't mistreat Harvey in front of the cheerleaders because she's still clearly trying to get him to date her.
16:12 Sabrina says in front of them that the spell could get annoying.
16:15 Why don't they care?
16:17 Predictably, the cheerleaders decide to make Norma join their squad.
16:21 Norma says she doesn't want to join, but then somehow she says she won't join without Sabrina.
16:26 And the cheerleaders decide to agree to replace one of the new cheerleaders with her.
16:31 Some of the students are dressed like Norma, and Norma wanted to get away from those people.
16:36 And says she used to like being herself, but if everyone else is being like her, she doesn't like it anymore.
16:42 That tells me she doesn't have a good self-esteem.
16:45 She says she just wants to be herself.
16:47 This message doesn't work if she's been acting like herself the whole episode.
16:52 Eventually, Sabrina gets intimidated by Harvey wanting her to be like Norma, and a bunch of people walking towards her talking in monotone.
17:00 Sabrina's tied up.
17:02 And I say Zelda dressed like her too, when she's not supposed to be at her school.
17:06 It makes me wonder if Sabrina's just imagining this, or Zelda's responsible for all of this.
17:11 Eventually, Sabrina says she just wants to be her, so the spell's undone because of that.
17:17 Which could only be because that's how Spooky designed the spell to be.
17:22 If magic happened just because Sabrina wanted to, it'd happen before she even got the chance to go to Spooky,
17:28 and it'd happen way more often.
17:30 Still, how stupid does Spooky think she is that he didn't think she could just point and visualize the spell to end much earlier?
17:38 And the story forced them to be right because she somehow didn't think to do that.
17:42 Sabrina turns down becoming a cheerleader, unlike in the 2000s comic.
17:48 Sabrina gets asked to help Norma find her aunt, and she agrees.
17:52 The story drags on until it finally ends.
17:55 This boring episode has Sabrina want to join the cheerleading squad,
17:59 but instead of it being realistic like the comic, and having her succeed in joining just because she's good at cheerleading,
18:06 and really I find it hard to believe the pre-teen cheerleaders would be in charge of who joins their squad,
18:12 somehow she'd only be allowed to join if she stops letting a weird kid try to spend time with her.
18:18 But she would've given up after the first time she got humiliated in front of them,
18:22 because it was obvious that there's no reason they'd give her a chance after that.
18:26 What were they thinking having the unpopular kid snort?
18:30 Let alone so many different times, when they wanted us to sympathize with her, instead it ruins the episode.
18:36 It's about teaching us that you should still be friends with someone nice, even if they're a social outcast for being weird.
18:42 But the snorting makes her annoying too, so it's forced that it doesn't bother Sabrina,
18:47 making the message too heavy handed and bad because it tries to teach you to force yourself to be friends with a consistently annoying person just because it's nice of you.
18:57 Which would usually result in a false friendship that'd end pathetically quickly, or be annoying to one of the people involved the whole time.
19:05 Spooky gives her the magic to cast a spell to make her popular to solve the problem with their friendship,
19:11 only to find out that the spell over did it and Norma doesn't appreciate it, go figure.
19:16 It's yet another episode that demonizes magic.
19:19 Without the snorting, they would've had Norma be a likeable character who tries to be interesting by having hobbies and interests.
19:26 Which is better than Chloe has.