Barstool New York Assembles It's Basketball Team - Barstool Basketball Documentary Series Episode One
Dana B | Dana Beers Vlog
Transcript
00:00 [MUSIC]
00:10 I played basketball and football in high school and
00:14 some people would say I was a star at Hingham High School back in 2011.
00:20 Patriot Ledger All Scholastic, Patriot League All Star, Team MVP,
00:25 Team Captain, 12 points a game, 10 rebounds a game, 1.5 blocks a game.
00:30 I grab a lot of boards, I don't jump very high, but
00:33 I'm always in the paint getting dirty.
00:35 Dana as a basketball player is gonna take it very seriously.
00:41 Make sure he gets the double double and then blame everybody else.
00:45 >> Question was, do you know anyone on this team that averaged a double double?
00:47 >> No.
00:49 >> Is that, are you sure?
00:50 >> I don't know of anyone, no.
00:52 I would say, not that I'm aware of.
00:54 I am firmly the leader of this team.
00:56 I started this documentary, I started this team.
01:00 I am going to be the guy everyone looks to for answers, so
01:04 I better bring my game on the court.
01:05 >> He thinks he can hit 95 mile an hour fastballs and bat 100 in the MLB.
01:12 And that's the guy that's gonna be on my intramural basketball team,
01:15 that's the problem.
01:16 >> I'm Patrick Beverly, but better shoot.
01:18 >> Most athletic person on the team, I would say, and
01:22 I gotta admit it, it's Marty.
01:24 Does that mean that's gonna translate to being a good basketball player for
01:28 Marty? Who knows?
01:29 >> They called me Ray Allen.
01:31 >> Marty could be a clubhouse cancer.
01:33 I mean, he's already kind of chirping at me, making fun of me, being skinny.
01:36 Build me up.
01:36 Why not pick each other up?
01:38 Marty always wants to tear down, and that's just the most way.
01:41 >> I'm starting, right?
01:41 >> Yeah.
01:42 >> Uh-huh.
01:45 You don't know if I'm starting?
01:48 Am I not assistant captain?
01:51 What's my role on this team?
01:53 What's my role on this team, coach?
01:55 >> You're a sixth man.
01:56 >> Sixth man?
01:58 I think that people can score more points than me, play better defense than me, and
02:02 run better than me, but I'm overall the best.
02:05 >> Can I wear a hat during basketball?
02:06 [LAUGH]
02:10 I've been starting to think about that.
02:12 I don't have to gel my hair for every game.
02:14 >> Maybe a swim cap.
02:17 Probably dribbled a basketball or played some kind of pick up game ten times since
02:23 high school, maybe.
02:24 Defensive specialist, good passer.
02:26 I'm a solid passer too.
02:27 I got eyes in the back of my head.
02:29 Longer arms than people think.
02:31 I'll block some shots.
02:32 So I'm gonna sneak up on some people.
02:33 >> John Rich, hockey player.
02:35 Grab rebounds, play defense.
02:36 That's all we need from you.
02:37 >> Played rec basketball my whole life.
02:42 Played intramural in college and was on the Chippewas.
02:46 Had our old cup at HQ2.
02:48 I used to be a knockdown shooter.
02:49 That's long gone.
02:50 I'm very good on defense.
02:51 I steal the ball.
02:52 Good anticipation and I can jump very high and I rebound very well.
02:57 >> Hubs, I guess he's our, what's the word?
03:00 Del facto, de facto, de facto?
03:04 It's Cory?
03:05 I guess Hubs is our de facto point guard, cuz he's the smallest.
03:09 >> Hubs is gonna, he's gonna be a strangly bastard.
03:13 He's gonna be, I'm telling you,
03:15 I think Hubs is gonna be a dark horse, fucking asshole on the court.
03:19 >> Honestly, if the playing doesn't work out,
03:23 I feel like Clemmer could be a great coach for us.
03:26 >> You think that freak's gonna play over me?
03:28 >> Yeah, I'm gonna play in the league.
03:30 >> No, no, no, not in the league.
03:31 You're gonna start over me?
03:33 >> I hope so.
03:33 >> There you go. >> One thing,
03:34 I'll be better for team chemistry.
03:36 I'm gonna be better for team morale.
03:37 I'm nicer to be around than you.
03:39 You suck.
03:40 >> I was not gonna bring anything.
03:41 >> [LAUGH]
03:43 >> I'm not, I'm sorry.
03:44 >> He's gonna make a wish.
03:45 >> He's gonna be, he's a waste of a jersey.
03:48 >> So my job is to hopefully get people working together, good morale,
03:52 good team chemistry.
03:53 Yeah, you're gonna have people like Marty Mush, who just are terrible teammates.
03:57 But other people on that team, like John Rich, he's a good teammate.
04:00 Rally around those guys, hopefully build good morale.
04:03 Hopefully I can help with that.
04:05 >> Ken Jack, I mean, I love the guy, so we're giving him a roster spot.
04:10 I don't expect much.
04:11 Ken Jack, he's playing?
04:14 All right, at least he can wear a hat with me.
04:16 >> Jet Ski seems like he's a baller.
04:19 I don't really have anything to back that up, but I just get the vibe off him that
04:23 he knows his way around the court and could help.
04:26 >> Jet Ski, athlete, love to have someone who actually has a vertical on this team.
04:31 >> Like if you're gonna be a white rapper, you have to be good at basketball.
04:34 >> Billy football, he's got a temper.
04:37 If he scores more than four points a game, I'll be happily surprised.
04:42 >> Mulcahy's so sneaky, I keep hearing things about him like a myth.
04:46 Like I don't even know if it's real.
04:47 We're told he can shoot and play ball,
04:49 like his name was popped up as the non-content guy to play.
04:51 I'm hoping he's good, cuz we need good players.
04:53 >> Allegedly he's got game.
04:55 I think me and him will be a powerful duo at the three and four.
04:58 >> Mulcahy is going to break.
05:00 When this man has a camera lens on him, he breaks out in hives and
05:05 doesn't know how to speak.
05:06 He's gonna be the star of the show.
05:07 He's gonna be the best character you ever meet,
05:10 because he has so much anxiety, he's gonna be shooting like this.
05:13 >> Sit there.
05:15 >> Sit here?
05:15 >> You'll be ten minutes.
05:16 >> I'm gonna face everyone?
05:18 See, I don't even know how to put this thing on.
05:20 >> Jesus.
05:21 >> I'm sweating.
05:22 I thought it was gonna be in the green screen, I can close the door.
05:25 >> I wanna have a talk to you about it.
05:27 >> In the lobby of the company?
05:29 This is my first on camera thing?
05:32 This is wild.
05:34 This is wild.
05:37 >> Why would you- >> Is that how you're sitting?
05:39 >> I don't know, you tell me.
05:41 >> That feels great, so you're gonna have to relax there.
05:44 >> Am I looking?
05:45 >> You're looking at me, not the camera.
05:49 >> Cuz it's just, there's too many outside.
05:52 >> What are you talking about?
05:53 You don't get to pick.
05:55 >> You know this is filming, you know this is showing.
05:58 >> You never said action.
05:59 >> What are your expectations for yourself heading into the season?
06:06 >> I hope to be a star.
06:08 I don't know, people walking by.
06:13 A star, why would I say a star?
06:15 I panicked.
06:17 I panicked.
06:18 >> No one knows any position that Ryan, starting five, bench players.
06:22 >> Why are you coming at me already?
06:24 It hasn't even started.
06:25 >> It's almost game time.
06:26 >> We need to know, no one knows the position.
06:28 >> Because once I see you guys warm up, I'll know.
06:32 >> LeBron James knows when he's playing.
06:33 >> No, I- >> You're not LeBron James.
06:35 >> I'll tell you right now, he's not starting.
06:36 >> Why?
06:37 >> Cuz you're not good.
06:38 You're starting, I know that.
06:39 >> Why?
06:40 >> Who do you want to see starting?
06:42 >> Me, you, Mulcahy, Billy.
06:44 >> Hobbs, what about Jetski?
06:46 We're not a three point shooting team.
06:49 >> I'm mad, I'm literally mad at him.
06:51 >> You know what I was thinking last night?
06:52 I'm just thinking, imagining me and
06:54 Mulcahy are just gonna carry the team and just see what happens.
06:56 >> This is going bad weird.
06:57 >> Bad weird.
06:58 >> I might make myself the coach.
07:00 >> I'm gonna write.
07:01 >> Tell me, you can be the coach.
07:02 >> You can be the coach, but you have to give up your player spot.
07:04 >> Warm ups is tryouts.
07:06 >> Pretty much.
07:07 >> [LAUGH] >> Five minutes of tryouts.
07:09 >> Yeah, it is.
07:11 >> Have you heard anything?
07:12 >> No.
07:13 >> You don't know who's starting, you don't know what the warm up is.
07:15 >> I heard two practice times that were both canceled.
07:18 >> That's what I'm saying.
07:18 I'm trying to get the team together right now.
07:21 And Dana's just like, we'll show up and play.
07:24 I want this team to be successful.
07:27 >> We need an outfit.
07:27 >> All right, have you ever seen anything less organized,
07:30 as much of a mess, a train wreck as this team led by Dana?
07:33 >> Yeah, but we can't have those.
07:35 >> Okay, do we need to go in with some master plan?
07:38 No, we just have to play basketball.
07:39 >> If I'm not point guard, I'm telling you, I won't be as good.
07:42 >> Okay, you can be point guard.
07:43 Are we all okay with that?
07:45 >> Hubs, can you dribble?
07:45 >> Hubs is on the bench.
07:47 Is he okay with that?
07:48 >> You just said some Hubs can dribble.
07:51 >> What an insulting question, you piece of shit.
07:53 >> But Jetski, Marty, Nick, Dana, I like that.
07:57 I think that's smart.
07:58 >> Ken Jack, I can see you in a GM type position here.
08:00 >> I'm just, this isn't GM, dude.
08:01 This is just basic stuff.
08:03 >> Look, am I really fast?
08:04 Yes.
08:04 Am I gonna make a layup?
08:05 Yes. Do I play defense?
08:06 No. >> You will never make a layup.
08:07 >> You're gonna make a layup?
08:08 >> I'll make anything, you will never make a layup.
08:09 >> I make a layup in Yak basketball.
08:11 >> Wide open.
08:12 >> You don't dribble in Yak basketball.
08:13 >> Yes, because I run fast.
08:14 I run really fast.
08:15 I'll shoot a layup and I go, okay.
08:16 >> The people on the other team are not gonna just give you a layup.
08:18 >> They're not gonna catch me.
08:19 >> Actually, they might.
08:20 We could tell them he's like the Make-A-Wish kid.
08:23 >> No, no, no, no.
08:24 I will not partake in that.
08:26 >> I heard something today.
08:27 >> You can't shoot a three?
08:29 >> No.
08:29 >> I thought you were gonna shoot a three.
08:36 >> I don't know what's gonna happen when this camera's on me.
08:38 >> What can you tell me about Billy football, Mac, and the court?
08:42 I haven't seen him play.
08:43 >> Is he gonna heave?
08:44 >> I heard he takes a lot of- >> Is he just gonna grab the ball and heave?
08:48 >> Yes. >> All right, we're gonna have to tell him,
08:49 don't do that.
08:49 >> If I'm posting up, all right, clear out.
08:52 Don't, no, no, no, no, don't.
08:54 Why are you reacting that way?
08:55 That's basketball.
08:56 That's basketball.
08:57 >> You have a good- >> That's Joel Embiid.
08:59 >> No, it's not.
08:59 >> Run a lot of pick and rolls.
09:01 >> Pick and rolls are the best right here.
09:02 >> And space.
09:03 We need space.
09:04 >> Spacing.
09:05 >> The problem is gonna be we're gonna run into each other.
09:07 We gotta set back screens, all that shit.
09:09 We'll be fine.
09:10 >> I think I might end up being the coach.
09:12 >> Yes, that's fine.
09:12 >> As coach, I'm gonna be in charge of taking players in and out.
09:15 >> You can do it right now.
09:18 Right now, you can be the coach.
09:19 >> I am the coach.
09:20 >> I need to see him on the screen.
09:21 >> I am a coach player.
09:22 >> As the coach, you have the power to make the starting lineup right now.
09:25 >> Actually, I feel like I know we made it together.
09:27 >> Realistically, looking at this starting lineup, it should be you, you, and
09:30 Billy, kinda just sitting there sucking in rebounds.
09:32 But then I think you and
09:33 Jetski need to be kinda like running around the- >> Yeah.
09:36 >> You're gonna be our three-point shooter.
09:38 >> Yeah, I know.
09:38 I'm mad happy.
09:39 >> I have a serious question.
09:41 >> I think we gotta run some.
09:44 >> That wasn't a question.
09:46 >> Yeah, wait, that was a suggestion.
09:48 >> Hold the rope.
09:49 That's what you do.
09:49 The rope is in the middle.
09:51 >> Not for the first game.
09:52 We're man to man today.
09:53 >> How many guys do we have tonight?
09:55 Okay, you're done.
09:55 >> Probably nine.
09:56 >> I'm gonna be only coaching today.
09:58 >> All right, so eight.
10:00 >> All right, boys.
10:01 >> All right.
10:01 >> Good stuff.
10:02 >> Again, I think we have a good starting lineup and strategy.
10:06 >> Marty, thoughts?
10:07 >> What? >> After that meeting?
10:10 Feel better?
10:10 >> Feel good.
10:11 I do feel good.
10:12 I do think that.
10:13 Listen, I'm gonna be the heartthrob of this team.
10:16 >> The what?
10:17 >> Heartthrob.
10:17 >> Heartthrob.
10:18 >> I think you meant the heartbeat.
10:19 >> [LAUGH] >> Did you just say heartbeat?
10:22 >> I think we need to think positive, not focus on drama, and
10:26 you need to stop lying about your stats and your history.
10:27 It's just sad at this point, Danny.
10:29 Pathetic. >> Playing time's gonna get involved.
10:31 I think people are gonna shoot too much.
10:34 I think hubs might be a problem.
10:37 >> [LAUGH] >> A lot of people are counting us out
10:41 already.
10:41 We already have naysayers on the team itself,
10:46 including myself, so I don't know how to pump us up.
10:50 I don't believe in us.
10:51 >> I don't believe in us for a second.
10:53 >> We're gonna suck, and we might quit halfway through.
10:57 [BLANK_AUDIO]
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12:48 [BLANK_AUDIO]
13:02 >> There is no overtime in regular season.
13:11 Clap it up, let's get started.
13:12 >> [APPLAUSE] >> Let's go, boys.
13:13 >> Had a lot of ups and downs in game one.
13:14 We were really good at first.
13:16 [BLANK_AUDIO]
13:26 >> Good tempo, guys, let's go.
13:28 >> I think we looked like a group of people who kinda know each other,
13:32 who didn't practice whatsoever and
13:34 probably haven't played basketball in that kind of sense in a long time.
13:38 >> [BLANK_AUDIO]
13:41 >> [APPLAUSE] >> Overall,
13:43 we hit a few shots that I didn't think we were gonna hit.
13:45 Like, Jeffske and Mush hitting their first threes was shocking.
13:50 Dana lived up to the double-double.
13:52 You lived up to the double-double hype.
13:54 >> [BLANK_AUDIO]
13:58 >> John Rich is definitely made for skates.
14:00 >> [BLANK_AUDIO]
14:06 >> But he's fast and can play some defense.
14:08 >> [BLANK_AUDIO]
14:18 >> Ken Jack thought he was the player.
14:20 I don't think Ken Jack knew where he was.
14:21 >> [BLANK_AUDIO]
14:28 >> But Ken Jack, I think Ken Jack was a little nervous.
14:30 I think he needs to take some time.
14:32 We start off really hot.
14:35 We sub some people out.
14:37 Then we gave up about 40 straight points.
14:39 >> [BLANK_AUDIO]
14:49 >> [APPLAUSE]
14:52 >> [BLANK_AUDIO]
14:59 >> Billy was full of it.
15:01 It's one of the weirdest situations I think a basketball team has ever had.
15:04 Because he's very good down low.
15:06 He can catch, he gets a lot of rebounds.
15:09 He's stronger than everybody.
15:11 Catches them down.
15:12 But then he's in la-la land at that.
15:14 He just goes like this.
15:15 And hopefully it goes in.
15:17 He's got to pass it out sometimes.
15:18 Go up sometimes, pass it out sometimes.
15:20 He's a hard worker though.
15:22 We need to groom Billy.
15:24 >> I went hard in the paint.
15:25 I left it all out there.
15:26 You're going to get 110% from me.
15:28 >> There was one possession.
15:30 He pulled up from three.
15:31 I hear Mulcahy in the back going, no, Billy.
15:34 You know how much it takes for Mulcahy to start speaking up?
15:37 >> [BLANK_AUDIO]
15:44 >> He's also a little delusional.
15:45 He thinks he should play 40 minutes a game.
15:47 I went in to coach.
15:48 I said, Billy, you got to take a rest.
15:50 He goes, nah.
15:51 [LAUGH]
15:52 I was like.
15:53 >> [BLANK_AUDIO]
15:58 >> Well then.
15:59 >> You can't take me.
16:00 I'm hurt.
16:01 >> I just need to be in the game the whole time.
16:03 I know everyone's making fun of it, but realistically, when I'm out of the game,
16:08 the whole paint turns into a free for all.
16:11 I'm the only one who can get out and cover a large, expansive area,
16:15 even while I have a man.
16:16 >> You guys good?
16:17 >> Yeah, I think all sides.
16:18 >> Yeah, all sides should run through Dana.
16:20 >> I like that.
16:21 I like that.
16:22 >> You know, I'm going to always go through your guy.
16:25 >> You got time.
16:26 You got time.
16:27 >> So I'm not going to take those shots.
16:28 >> You also got time.
16:30 >> Yeah, you got plenty of time.
16:32 >> You own that game.
16:33 It's on your side.
16:34 It's on your side.
16:35 >> [CROSSTALK]
16:38 [BLANK_AUDIO]
16:41 [SOUND]
16:43 >> Coach, I got gas.
16:44 I got gas.
16:47 >> We're better than this, boys.
16:49 >> We are.
16:50 >> We're way better.
16:51 >> No, we showed it in that first half of that first quarter.
16:54 We are better.
16:55 We cannot be forcing shots like Johnny forced a couple.
16:57 Let the game, let it flow a little bit.
17:00 Like, look for that paint especially.
17:02 Like, let's work that.
17:03 Because we're bigger and stronger.
17:05 >> Two guys.
17:06 That's it.
17:07 We have two guys.
17:08 >> We were down 15 to down 15.
17:10 And then we put some other people back in.
17:12 And we started to do good.
17:14 That's it.
17:15 >> [INAUDIBLE]
17:17 [BLANK_AUDIO]
17:20 [SOUND]
17:29 >> Let it develop.
17:30 We own the paint.
17:31 >> Good job, John.
17:32 >> Good job, man.
17:35 >> Great job, Dana.
17:36 That's a hell of a job.
17:38 >> You know what, baby?
17:39 >> Fuck yeah.
17:40 That's how you do it.
17:41 Hell of a job.
17:42 >> I want us to play big and interior.
17:44 So I'm going to sit Huggins right now and play you five.
17:48 Okay?
17:49 >> I did like that we did score late.
17:51 Like, it was a tie game with under a minute to go.
17:53 We did score.
17:54 Like, there was good execution there.
17:55 >> You're talking about Billy.
17:57 That's not your shot.
17:58 Let's go.
17:59 Control that.
18:00 Find your shot.
18:01 Don't rush.
18:02 Don't rush.
18:03 Find your shot.
18:04 We have time.
18:05 All right?
18:06 All right.
18:07 Let's go.
18:08 Good urgency.
18:09 Good intention.
18:10 Let's go.
18:11 [SOUND]
18:22 >> If it's available, be mindful of the clock.
18:24 Go to court.
18:25 If it's not available, don't force it.
18:27 We need to think.
18:28 We play like idiots.
18:29 Think.
18:30 >> Hold the ball.
18:31 Pick and roll.
18:32 >> Billy, I'm going to come down.
18:34 You either jump up there.
18:36 You either cut in or go wide.
18:38 >> If that's what's in there, take your time.
18:40 All right?
18:41 >> Yeah.
18:42 >> All right.
18:43 Let's go.
18:44 [SOUND]
18:53 >> Take your time.
18:54 Take your time.
18:55 [SOUND]
19:05 >> Time out.
19:06 [SOUND]
19:07 >> Let's go.
19:08 Let's go, boy.
19:09 Let's go.
19:10 Let's go.
19:11 Let's go.
19:12 Let's go.
19:13 >> Hell yeah, Nick.
19:14 >> Everyone knows what they have.
19:16 >> Yeah, yeah.
19:17 Yeah, yeah.
19:18 [SOUND]
19:26 >> We just gave up a pretty good shot.
19:28 Like, we had hands in the guy's face at the end for him to tie it.
19:31 So, it is what it is.
19:32 Sometimes a good shot is just a good shot, no matter the defense.
19:35 [SOUND]
19:47 >> 20 bucks for overtime.
19:48 >> He just caught a time out.
19:50 I could have Chris Webber-jawed.
19:52 I could have Chris Webber-jawed.
19:53 You caught a time out.
19:56 >> I think we fixed the score.
19:57 >> I mean, I fucking--
19:58 >> Did you break his elbow?
20:00 >> Oh, yeah.
20:01 [SOUND]
20:04 >> Ty's a little disappointing, but we had a good comeback.
20:08 We were way better than that team.
20:10 >> These guys are all going after me, the highest scorer on the team,
20:13 because some of their stat lines were absolutely terrible.
20:16 There's a lot of guys that should not be fucking talking.
20:18 >> We disagree on everything you're saying.
20:20 >> Then you run the team.
20:21 >> I'm getting annoyed.
20:22 I'm getting annoyed.
20:23 You be the coach.
20:25 >> I was three for six, and I had as many points as you.
20:27 >> I can't believe this is the attitude of this team.
20:29 >> I never called him ball hog Billy.
20:31 There's people around the office calling him that.
20:33 >> The team's a champ.
20:34 >> I can't put this one through six.
20:36 >> You're a four-legged team, you don't mean nothing to us.
20:38 >> It's very hard, no matter how much you deserve it, to be subbed out by Chris Clemmer
20:42 and not want to murder him.
20:44 [whistle]
20:47 >> I've never been on a team in my life where guys are literally just trying to embarrass other people.
20:53 [music]