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#IGIHE #Rwanda
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NewsTranscript
00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 - Hello everyone, welcome to our show,
00:20 Jen, now. - Voice.
00:21 - So I hope you started your new year
00:23 with your loved one as I did.
00:25 And in the beginning of the year,
00:27 I hope you guys are ready to rock 2023.
00:32 So you guys, welcome to the show again.
00:36 - Firstly, I just wanna comment how we look, yo.
00:39 (laughing)
00:40 - What is with the blazers, you guys?
00:43 That is the memo.
00:44 - And the red, and the blue, and the black, I don't know.
00:48 So you guys, I want you to start by telling me
00:51 like three words that define 2022 for you guys.
00:57 - Ladies first.
00:58 - No, I'll let you go first this time.
01:01 - Okay, fast, confusing.
01:06 Then lastly, I'd want to add something good.
01:14 So I'd go for progressive.
01:17 - Nice. - Confusing.
01:19 - Yo, did you notice how the year just went?
01:23 - Oh, for you, it went just like this.
01:25 - For me, it was slowly, slowly, like slowly.
01:29 - Were you in a relationship?
01:30 - No. - Oh, that's why.
01:31 (slapping)
01:32 - Oh. (laughing)
01:35 Ouch.
01:35 - Oh, see for me, I think it was fast.
01:42 I do agree with that.
01:43 'Cause somehow I was in January,
01:45 and then I was in September.
01:46 I do not know how that happened.
01:48 It was very busy, and I did not have time for myself.
01:54 But however, there was a lot of fun.
01:57 So yeah, this was basically my favorite year.
02:01 I've always wanted to be,
02:02 like the age I am now has always been like my go-to age.
02:06 Like I'm so.
02:07 - Yeah, we know, we know.
02:08 - Right? (laughing)
02:11 Okay, no, no, you guys can't do that.
02:13 - So as for me, I would say it was challenging.
02:20 It was a year of me discovering myself
02:24 and accepting that I haven't figured out
02:28 that there's still things I need to know.
02:30 Accepting, yeah. - Yeah.
02:33 - Accepting.
02:34 - I like how you have raised that up.
02:36 Because you know, now and again,
02:38 I'm always telling people that it's difficult
02:42 to actually date a girl who's below 27.
02:48 Most of the girls like 27 going backwards
02:51 are actually trying to discover themselves.
02:54 So you'll find out that,
02:55 let's say you start a family with a girl who's like 25,
02:58 you might be heading for disaster.
03:00 'Cause this person will discover themself
03:02 maybe when they're like 28, 29, 30,
03:05 and they then realize, I don't even want this man.
03:08 - Oh.
03:09 Wow.
03:11 - It's so much to say. - Now that's cutting to the--
03:14 - Okay, I'm sorry.
03:14 - I'm sorry.
03:15 - It's cutting to the--
03:17 - Okay, I'm sorry.
03:18 But it also is reflected by the rise in divorces in Africa.
03:23 It's even worse because marriage is a concept
03:26 we took from the Western world.
03:28 We now want to skip the,
03:29 where it come from, we call it lobola.
03:33 Where we're now hearing that governments
03:36 are trying to scratch the pain of dowry.
03:39 Yo, that is who we are.
03:42 I would wanna say that is exactly who we are.
03:44 That is how our initial marriage procedure was like.
03:48 Anyway, it's a story for another day.
03:51 - So you're going to get married when you're 27?
03:55 - 30.
03:56 - 30, and then she's 27?
03:57 - She must be around that age, yeah.
03:59 I also don't believe in that,
04:00 marry a girl who's way younger than you.
04:04 I mean, what do you think I'll do dating a,
04:07 back home we call them, I'm a 2K.
04:09 2001, 2000, boom.
04:11 (claps)
04:13 - Oh Lord.
04:13 - Okay, so I would say for me it was,
04:17 I had to accept that.
04:20 At the beginning was like,
04:22 I have to get things on, I have to be in control.
04:27 I'm a planner normally, I'm a planner.
04:29 So I have this plan, so this year I'll be like this,
04:32 this, this, this.
04:34 But now, like in 2022, I learned to let go,
04:37 things I have no control over,
04:39 and learn that you're still figuring out.
04:42 You're not there yet.
04:44 You, I mean, you are still learning.
04:48 Yeah, so for me it's that.
04:50 So you guys are,
04:52 that this culture of new year resolution,
04:56 where you set like goals.
04:58 - I can't even stand.
05:00 - You can't?
05:01 - I can't.
05:02 - Really?
05:03 Oh my God.
05:04 - I don't mess with that.
05:05 I don't.
05:06 - Okay, why?
05:07 - First off, okay, I have, I'm still healing.
05:10 So I don't even call it.
05:12 - You're healing from what?
05:13 - Wait.
05:14 - Okay, I'm sorry.
05:15 - From 2022, I'm prepared to see.
05:17 It's like a whole, but like,
05:19 I don't even call it like a new year.
05:21 I just call it a new season because there is so,
05:24 for me, there is so much pressure
05:25 that comes with saying a new year.
05:27 That sounds like it's, like I have to get this done,
05:30 and I have to get this done, and I have to,
05:32 because age, because what, because what, because what.
05:34 But like, when I call it a season, I'm good.
05:37 It helps me just, it helps me ease the anxiety,
05:42 and I just, I'm like, this is a season for this,
05:45 and this is a season for this.
05:47 This was my season for healing and loving me and my family,
05:52 and just growing up enough to be able to communicate
05:58 with one person and another, and just,
06:01 yeah, it was a season of love and communication, healing.
06:05 So yeah, but when it comes to resolutions,
06:09 I feel like sometimes we hurt ourselves
06:12 depending on how harsh, how harsh,
06:15 and how so demanding we get to ourselves.
06:19 So when it comes to that, for me, I would say,
06:21 I write, if I'm trying to write a resolution,
06:26 I will be so kind, like as though someone said
06:29 you should write as if you're writing to a child.
06:32 So as nice and as kind, with nice words,
06:36 hey, gorgeous, I'm like, bro, you're flirting with yourself.
06:40 Yes, I agree.
06:42 Like, hey, gorgeous, if you don't get it done,
06:44 you still tried.
06:45 This year's resolution was to stay alive, I'm out here.
06:49 - Oh, God.
06:50 - So that's enough for me.
06:52 - Wow.
06:53 - So yeah.
06:54 - How about you?
06:55 - Me?
06:56 Firstly, I think I said this in one of the previous episodes
07:03 where I said I've seen things like
07:06 being in a serious relationship,
07:09 and then in December last year,
07:12 you'd see being in a serious relationship with money,
07:16 save 100K francs, and then you see two zeros,
07:21 now they're canceled.
07:22 Now it says save 10,000 francs.
07:25 Yo, new year resolutions, they're good to have, no lie.
07:30 But there's something called realism
07:32 as we are operating during the rest of the year,
07:36 whereby it's key to make sure that,
07:39 first, assess yourself as a person.
07:41 My sister normally says that
07:44 you should affirm yourself, actually.
07:46 So if you set new year resolutions,
07:50 also set daily targets you have to do.
07:54 Like, I wanna be honest,
07:55 I talk to myself every day before I sleep.
07:57 Clinton, what did you do?
08:00 You have a resolution this year to do A, B, C, D.
08:04 So what did you do to feed into that goal?
08:07 But I don't set huge unrealistic ones.
08:11 And I normally don't,
08:13 I actually set a new year resolution,
08:17 not resolutions.
08:18 - Ah. - Why?
08:19 - Just one, life begins at 40.
08:21 I'm a couple of years away, not couple,
08:25 I'm actually-- - Way what?
08:27 - I'm very much way below 40.
08:32 So-- - Life begins at 40?
08:34 - Yeah, life begins at 40.
08:35 - I thought I heard it wrong.
08:36 - No, life actually begins at 40.
08:38 The big four zero is a place where you do,
08:41 so I think when I actually then reach 40,
08:43 I would have practiced enough to set two, three major ones.
08:47 I think what I would say from a personal reflection
08:50 would be you need to work on yourself as an individual.
08:54 If you're a professional, set a new year resolution
08:56 to say, okay, my career by this time
08:58 is supposed to have reached here,
09:00 I need to do this.
09:01 Not these, start a business,
09:04 and then later on you say business plan.
09:06 Honestly, it does not work.
09:09 - Yes. - Yeah.
09:10 - So what was your resolution this year?
09:12 - For 2022? - Yeah.
09:16 - My resolution for 2022 was to actually establish
09:19 my career in a different country.
09:21 - Ooh. - Well.
09:24 - Ooh, nice one. - Here we are.
09:26 - Nice one. - You succeeded.
09:28 - Nice one. - But to be honest,
09:29 last year, I think it started shaping up around October,
09:34 and it was after things had went down.
09:36 So that's why I'm saying it's very hurtful,
09:39 'cause I would want to actually say there's a moment
09:42 when I fell into depression,
09:44 because the amount of pressure
09:46 that you'll be giving on yourself,
09:48 because remember, you're not forced
09:50 to make these resolutions, it's on you.
09:53 So when you set it, you're in a certain mojo or mindset
09:58 that tells you if you do this, you have failed,
10:01 not anybody else, you have failed yourself.
10:04 - Yeah. - That's too much pressure
10:05 to handle. - Exactly.
10:06 - It's crazy.
10:07 - You guys, let me tell you, last year was the year
10:11 I established a good friendship with my dad,
10:16 where he's my best friend.
10:19 - Girls and their dads, okay.
10:22 - I would, no, seriously. - Sorry, sorry.
10:24 - Seriously, I needed it, I needed it,
10:27 'cause normally-- - Daddy issues?
10:30 - No, I didn't have daddy issues.
10:31 - Ooh! - No!
10:32 - Daddy! - No, no, no, no,
10:35 definitely no, definitely no.
10:36 - I bet you had a lot of zaddies.
10:38 - Yeah, zaddies. - No, I didn't say zaddies,
10:40 I said, "Daddy, my brother."
10:43 So here's the thing, last year,
10:46 I struggled so much with myself,
10:49 not outside, within myself, the inner me.
10:52 It was conflicting.
10:54 I got anxieties.
10:58 I would have anxiety attack in the middle of something,
11:01 'cause I put a pressure on myself,
11:04 and I started to become my own self-enemy.
11:07 - Exactly.
11:09 - And I had nowhere to talk, 'cause I would feel,
11:13 I'm being judged with my friend,
11:15 or I would feel like they would not understand me,
11:18 then that's when I ran to my dad.
11:21 And he was the best mentor I've ever had
11:26 like throughout my life.
11:29 - Wow. - 'Cause he was with me
11:31 step by step, to be here, like alive,
11:34 I will tell you, it's 'cause of my dad.
11:36 - Wow. - That's kinda cute.
11:38 - Thanks, dad.
11:39 Thanks, dad. - Like her enough.
11:41 - Thanks, dad. - We love you.
11:42 - We love him, we love him. - Exactly.
11:50 - You know, young people, this is generation, now, voices.
11:55 So as we said, resolutions,
11:58 it's key to understand that they're for you.
12:01 - Yes. - Not the next person.
12:02 - Yes. - Okay, go next to mine.
12:05 My new year resolution.
12:07 Yo, I need to end the year with at least double figures
12:14 in my bank account.
12:15 - Money, money, money, money.
12:18 - Yeah, let's be honest.
12:20 - I wish I brought my wallet.
12:22 I brought my wallet.
12:24 - Money, money, money, money.
12:25 I'm a frank guy.
12:26 Did I get that right?
12:28 - Yes. - Yay.
12:29 So, you know, I've actually realized
12:35 that one of the hardest conversations our parents
12:39 did not have with us growing up as men
12:40 is in as much as you work hard, you're loving,
12:44 you're caring, yo, in a marriage, money makes things tick.
12:48 - Yes, we agree. - We can agree.
12:53 - Yes. - We can agree.
12:54 - Yes, 100%. - 100%.
12:56 - No matter how you tell me,
12:58 ah, love is enough, love is never enough.
13:00 - We don't eat love in this house.
13:01 What are you talking about? - Love is never enough.
13:03 - Exactly, so, yeah. - There's other factors.
13:06 - There are.
13:07 - So, you know, when you see me, you know, spending,
13:09 buying new things, just tell me, yo, you need to stop that.
13:12 Put that money in the bank.
13:14 - Okay. - I mean,
13:15 that kind of relationship though, that's goals.
13:18 - True. - Right.
13:18 - It is goals, that's goals. - Right.
13:19 - How about you?
13:21 - My God, I really have not figured it out.
13:24 So, I guess-- - It's okay too.
13:26 - For me, it's, I have no idea.
13:30 I haven't really had time to process what's going,
13:36 like what just happened.
13:38 It was like last year I was in a blink of an eye
13:42 and I realized that I forgot to mourn things from like 2021.
13:47 And then in the middle of 2022, they haunted me.
13:51 And now I'm still like, okay, so we're dealing,
13:53 we're still there, like we're moving on.
13:56 So that for me is basically where we're at
13:59 and I'm just, I'm so okay with that.
14:01 I think that's a good thing for me.
14:03 - Okay.
14:04 - The last thing would be basically to learn another skill.
14:09 I wanna learn another skill.
14:10 I wanna learn how to play one random instrument
14:14 because I wanna, like one traditional one, not a drum.
14:18 No, not a drum.
14:20 (drumming)
14:21 There is the string one.
14:23 What is it called?
14:25 The one with strings.
14:27 - Inanga?
14:27 - Yes, that one.
14:28 I wanna learn how to play that one.
14:29 That would be so nice.
14:30 Inanga.
14:31 - Inanga.
14:32 - Don't say it wrong.
14:33 If you say it wrong, it's something else.
14:35 - Let's not go there.
14:36 - So, you guys, thank you.
14:41 - You're welcome.
14:42 - So basically all of you,
14:46 I hope you are going to be happy for this new year.
14:51 - True.
14:53 - Genuinely happy.
14:54 Because last year we lost many people due to suicide.
14:59 - Oh, depression?
15:00 - Yes, so I want, don't put on a face that you're happy.
15:05 Be happy, genuinely happy, and that's what I wish for you.
15:09 And tell us your new year's resolution.
15:12 And thank you all.
15:14 - True.
15:15 - Continue to watch our show.
15:16 - Thank you.
15:17 - Ciao.
15:18 (upbeat music)
15:21 (upbeat music)