If the coin can be flipped, then why not a relationship.

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Transcript

00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]

00:03 Do you think that social media is

00:20 an additional to those situations?

00:23 Are we really blaming social media?

00:25 No, I'm just asking.

00:26 What do you think?

00:27 Yeah, I'm just asking.

00:28 Because I will tell you this.

00:30 We see these perfect relationships also from--

00:34 no, the so-called perfect-- let me go there,

00:37 because we don't know what's happening behind the scene.

00:41 We have to talk about that next week, the perfect--

00:44 whatever.

00:44 Perfect relationships?

00:46 Yeah, exactly.

00:47 And now you want it.

00:50 Now you want-- I want to be like that.

00:53 What are you trying to do, Pete and Kim?

00:56 What are we doing?

00:57 I'm not going to--

00:58 What are our goals here?

00:59 Even worse, when you don't know the background work that

01:02 comes with this perfect--

01:04 No, I want-- so back to situation-shipping,

01:07 government, so I want to know, what are the factors?

01:11 Don't agree with blaming social media.

01:13 OK, OK.

01:14 What does social media have to do with it?

01:16 If you have a plan, you should have set goals.

01:19 You should know what a relationship is before you

01:21 start going into a relationship.

01:23 And then if someone asks you out, deep down,

01:27 you know why they're asking you out.

01:29 I can tell you that anybody who's ever asked me out,

01:31 I know deep down why they were asking me out.

01:33 Sometimes I ignore it, but I know deep down.

01:36 And I know, Clinton, when you're asking a girl out,

01:38 you know why you're asking her out.

01:39 Of course, of course.

01:41 And then to jump into the most trickiest--

01:46 we've talked about situation-shipping, right?

01:48 Yes, yes.

01:50 We've talked about open relationships.

01:52 So we're left with entanglement and the relationship

01:56 relationship.

01:57 So we go to entanglement, because I

01:58 want to finish last with the actual relationship.

02:02 Entanglement.

02:03 What's that?

02:04 Clear, clear example.

02:08 I want to point out, do you remember what happened

02:11 a couple of years ago with Will?

02:12 Yes.

02:13 That is what we call an--

02:15 Which part?

02:16 Entanglement.

02:17 There's so much going on with the Smith.

02:18 Which one?

02:19 No, no, no.

02:19 The one with--

02:20 Austin?

02:21 Austin?

02:21 Yes.

02:22 Austin?

02:22 Yeah, one of the--

02:23 That--

02:24 And the ones on the red table, they were like,

02:26 it was an entanglement.

02:28 That shit wasn't helping to--

02:29 No.

02:30 So basically, take, for example, your head, your brain.

02:37 When you--

02:39 With an entanglement.

02:40 You know, it's like a plug or an extinction code

02:44 with a lot of adapters plugged on.

02:47 That is what an entanglement is.

02:48 And that's how you just described that phrase.

02:50 Exactly.

02:51 [LAUGHTER]

02:52 Whereby you-- it's not clear.

02:55 But the other thing is, every braid or every plug

02:59 is getting power.

03:00 So they think we are in a good relationship.

03:04 So entanglements are tricky, that you think you're

03:09 exclusive with this person.

03:11 But you're not.

03:12 But you're not.

03:13 Ouch.

03:14 Going back to what you were saying

03:15 when she had a boyfriend, would not save a number,

03:19 you were in an entanglement.

03:21 Because he's posting other women.

03:24 Your number is not saved.

03:26 So toxic.

03:27 Exactly.

03:27 That's one of the most toxic--

03:28 The arrow is straight to the heart.

03:30 I'm sorry.

03:31 I'm really sorry.

03:32 Actually, let--

03:33 Red was her favorite color back then.

03:35 I'm hoping it's black or white now.

03:37 No, green.

03:38 Green?

03:38 We want the square men, square men.

03:41 Help yourself.

03:43 Square men.

03:44 I'm coming for you.

03:45 Of course.

03:46 Hey.

03:47 Then--

03:47 Square men.

03:48 That's a two-minute.

03:49 OK, go on.

03:50 I'm coming for--

03:51 I want the happiest relationship ever.

03:56 Because let me tell you, my experience with entanglements,

04:00 you guys--

04:02 You're a pro, you know.

04:03 No, it's not that I'm not a pro.

04:05 But--

04:05 Are they other versions?

04:07 Like--

04:07 Do you think that--

04:08 Have you created a new version?

04:10 Because she said the longest relationship was four years,

04:11 right?

04:12 No.

04:12 You said the longest relationship--

04:13 Actually, the entanglement came after the four years.

04:17 You don't learn?

04:19 No, no.

04:19 It wasn't with a different person.

04:21 Why would you say that?

04:22 You won't say that.

04:23 I'm sorry, but you don't learn?

04:24 It wasn't with another person.

04:27 It was the same person.

04:28 You know when you're used to someone?

04:30 Am I wrong?

04:31 No, no.

04:32 Let me tell you.

04:33 You know when you're used to someone,

04:36 and there's that casualty that this formality you had,

04:42 like talking to this particular person--

04:45 Like you've already gotten used to them.

04:47 They're your people.

04:48 Yes.

04:48 Because--

04:49 Unfortunately.

04:49 Yes.

04:51 So after that, it was hard to break the routine.

04:56 You see?

04:59 And then after-- I mean, we would meet up,

05:02 we would whatever.

05:04 And I knew deep inside we are not going back together.

05:08 He would even say it.

05:12 I know.

05:14 But--

05:15 She said.

05:15 Once I broke free from that, it was one of the happiest days

05:20 of my life.

05:20 See what she just said?

05:22 You broke.

05:23 Free.

05:23 Meaning you were--

05:24 OK.

05:25 I was in town.

05:26 You're not getting--

05:27 How did you get it?

05:28 How did you break it off?

05:31 I decided.

05:32 I was like, this person, there's no future.

05:35 I could see through me.

05:37 Wow.

05:38 There's no future.

05:39 You could finally--

05:41 Yes.

05:41 Now--

05:42 See through.

05:44 Love was no longer bright.

05:46 I could finally see through.

05:48 I was like, either I choose myself,

05:50 or I will be like this for the rest of my life.

05:54 And I was like, you know?

05:56 She had actually thought about the--

05:59 Yeah, and I was like--

06:00 OK.

06:01 No.

06:01 Bye, bye, bye.

06:02 Boy, bye.

06:03 I was--

06:04 Boy, bye.

06:05 Boy, bye.

06:07 Then, you know, finally.

06:12 But wait, before we go on actual relationship,

06:15 I want to ask, this situation, ship entanglement,

06:19 whatever it is, I've talked with different youth,

06:24 like our generation, about marriage.

06:29 And one would be marriage and divorces.

06:33 Now we are open to divorces than long-lasting relationships.

06:39 And one would be like, this is not working out

06:42 that I'm living.

06:43 Yes, that's true.

06:44 But I'm not thinking of--

06:46 maybe we could work it out.

06:47 Maybe we could go in therapy to understand what's going on.

06:52 I think--

06:52 What?

06:53 Therapy?

06:54 Yes.

06:54 I ain't about to tell somebody else my problem.

06:56 OK, but you know what I think?

06:58 I think-- I don't know.

06:59 OK, who are the young people you talked to?

07:02 Who are who?

07:03 And how are they different from the ones I talked to?

07:06 Because I have my friends and some other people--

07:10 because this is an actual conversation that

07:12 happens with young people.

07:13 Yes, nowadays.

07:14 Even this is an intro to how people begin being friends.

07:19 Yeah, yeah.

07:19 Because you find some-- yeah.

07:21 So the people I've talked to, they're

07:24 not as open to relationships.

07:27 But with this generation, we've learned

07:30 to be a little bit more--

07:32 Open-minded?

07:33 Open-minded.

07:35 And the people I've talked to really

07:37 don't care for relationships.

07:39 And I think-- I mean, don't care for divorces.

07:42 And I think that's what's taking longer for some people

07:44 to get married.

07:45 Because some-- even getting in relationships that are serious.

07:49 Because you can still have hurt from the past,

07:53 but you can also be scared for having the future--

07:57 having traumas from the future.

07:58 So that can stop you from having a serious relationship.

08:05 And once you have that, once you're settled,

08:09 and once you're married, I know a lot of people from our generation

08:13 would not want to--

08:15 I think maybe some--

08:16 Get married, right?

08:17 No, would not want to get divorced.

08:19 Because I think, depending on how people have seen from their parents,

08:24 maybe their aunties, maybe their guardians,

08:26 how they live with each other, they would advise them, of course,

08:29 to just, can you just go?

08:31 Can you stop?

08:32 And then now, they're like, OK, so me, when I ever decide to settle down,

08:37 that means it's done.

08:38 That means I will have healed.

08:39 And that's why it's taking us longer to get married.

08:42 Because we are trying to get healed.

08:44 We're trying to find that perfect person that's not going to hurt our feelings.

08:49 That's not going to hurt us.

08:50 You will never find perfect.

08:52 Exactly.

08:52 So you're trying to find that perfect person.

08:54 And you're trying to be the perfect person.

08:57 And you're trying to have a perfect life.

08:59 You're like, I want perfection.

09:01 So that when I get to that point, when I'm finally married,

09:04 I'm not going anywhere.

09:05 That's it.

09:06 And that's why guys, that's why playboys are like--

09:10 they're being playboys.

09:11 They're open to it.

09:12 And even girls are being playgirls now.

09:15 Because we're just like, OK, if we do it now, we're going to be safe.

09:19 I don't-- OK.

09:20 I don't believe in that.

09:21 Yeah, me too.

09:21 You know why?

09:22 Why?

09:23 Do you know-- OK, there are stages.

09:25 I forgot.

09:25 But there are stages of creating a character.

09:29 It starts, I think, as a trial.

09:33 It turns into a routine.

09:35 It becomes your habit.

09:36 It becomes a behavior.

09:38 Then you are that character.

09:40 So in as much as we want to lie to each other,

09:43 say play now so that when you're married, you--

09:46 We will continue.

09:47 The thing is, that's our lie.

09:50 But we don't want to call it a lie.

09:52 So if you ask a guy, why are you doing this to so many girls?

09:55 Why are you-- if you ask a girl, why are you--

09:58 why do you have so many heart emojis in your contacts?

10:02 Like, how many guys are you?

10:04 What's going on?

10:04 To be honest--

10:05 Because they will be like, I want to do it now.

10:08 And then when I get married--

10:09 So now you're going to tell her--

10:10 Yeah, true.

10:10 Healing-- do you know what that shows?

10:13 It shows retaliation to failed healing procedures.

10:17 Yes.

10:17 I want to-- I actually want to be honest.

10:19 When I was--

10:21 I love when you say, I'm going to be honest.

10:23 Yeah.

10:23 Sometimes it scares me to some point.

10:27 When I was like, what, 15, 16, I changed schools.

10:32 I moved from an all-boys school to a mixed school.

10:37 I had a crush on this girl.

10:38 I had a crush on this girl.

10:40 And you remember the days of the dagi?

10:45 Right?

10:45 I got to the school, and nobody knew the dagi,

10:49 because it was a mission school.

10:50 So during this talent show, my dance crew

10:57 got into some fight with the other--

10:59 You had a dance crew?

11:00 Yeah.

11:01 The dance crew.

11:02 I can move.

11:03 I can move.

11:04 So we had a--

11:08 it's like it's a draw.

11:09 So you two have to do like a dance battle.

11:12 And then the dagi song came on.

11:14 Right?

11:16 Of course.

11:18 They trusted your move.

11:20 So she had rejected me, right?

11:22 And then now I become this popular guy now.

11:25 You get it?

11:27 The one guy who loves the one dance.

11:28 Exactly.

11:29 I was even called Mark Dagi or something funny like that.

11:33 You know what I then did?

11:34 You got nicknames now?

11:35 I then-- in my mind, I was like, you know what?

11:38 You say no to me, I'm going to make sure

11:40 that you suffer for it.

11:42 I dated all of her friends.

11:47 But growing up, I didn't notice that that is

11:50 one of the most toxic things I've ever done as a teenager.

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