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00:00 Sabrina the Inmate Series, Episode 45
00:04 Hilda levitates a basket, an invisible dog bothers quickly.
00:09 They're not invisible, we can see them even before they look normal.
00:13 It turns out they're gonna make Enchantress' favorite dish to suck up to her when she visits to evaluate Sabrina's powers.
00:21 Why would she do that?
00:24 There'd be so many witches.
00:27 Why would one person, let alone the head witch, be in charge of evaluating the witchcraft of every single young witch?
00:35 Surely she'd have a lot of other more important things to do, and she makes the rules so she could change them.
00:43 I like seeing the books are floating too, but still. Sabrina says Enchantress has an easier life than her.
00:52 Salem shows her a wish crystal, which grants a wish for 24 hours.
00:58 One wish, and then it burns out.
01:01 So obviously it's inferior to normal magic, and it's only ever gonna be useful to people without magic.
01:09 Like transformed warlocks.
01:12 It would be nice if we got to find out how he got this thing.
01:16 He wants to be human again for 24 hours. It must be a really powerful crystal if it can overcome the wish of Enchantress, or whoever transformed him.
01:27 Why did he ever show her the wish crystal right after she envied Enchantress' life?
01:32 He knows she's the type to go to spooky all the time. This is just a better spooky.
01:38 Why do they even use spooky? Do they just- I have to assume that wish crystals are extremely rare and hard to get.
01:46 And they're immune to magic, so you can't just zap up as many as you want.
01:50 And you can't just create them, you have to find them.
01:53 Why did he tell her to put the crystal in her clothes instead of just hiding it under the bed?
01:59 He never even needed to tell her about the wish crystal.
02:03 Enchantress has a show-off entrance again.
02:06 It's nice of her to call them "darlings".
02:08 Then she gets mad at being told "welcome, Enchantress" because of her ego.
02:13 What did she expect? She should have told them ahead of time how to greet her.
02:17 They're centuries old, so they know how to greet her.
02:22 I hate that her minion tells them to apologize.
02:26 Why is he here when he wasn't here earlier?
02:29 It's an alternate universe, clearly.
02:31 She's smart enough to say she knows they're kissing up to her and zap away the bribes.
02:36 She zaps up zippers to shut up Sabrina's aunt.
02:41 She tells Sabrina to summon the Tower of Pisa.
02:45 And Pisa shows up.
02:47 Even though she would have been visualizing a tower, she does know how to summon things.
02:53 Why not show her failing at actually hard spells?
02:57 Well, it's very hard to even think of what an actually hard spell would be.
03:02 Sabrina says she hasn't gotten far in witchcraft.
03:06 Because this is a very disrespectful episode.
03:10 And Enchantress was smart enough to already suspect that her pushy mortal lifestyle weakened her powers.
03:17 Sabrina tells Enchantress that her life is easier than hers, and she wishes their lives could switch.
03:24 I hate that they switched voices.
03:27 Whenever someone changes bodies in this show, her voice changes too.
03:32 The vocal chords are part of the body.
03:35 I guess Sabrina said she's wrinkled just to spite her, when she'd know it's not true.
03:40 Somehow, Enchantress can't use magic for something Sabrina can definitely use it for.
03:46 Meanwhile, Sabrina's impressed because she can summon a mirror, even though she summoned a magic mirror last episode.
03:54 You know what, they should have just had the same writer for every single episode.
03:58 Because the pilot episode was kinda written great, and it probably wouldn't have had continuity errors that way.
04:05 I hate that she said "without a clue how to use them properly."
04:10 She just proved she could use her powers properly.
04:13 Enchantress says she has a great idea to have Sabrina impersonate her.
04:18 Of course that was the plan.
04:20 Enchantress tells her she's not allowed to tell anybody about this.
04:25 I'm still waiting for them to explain why no one would know they switched voices.
04:30 Because that wasn't a part of her wish.
04:33 Enchantress could have told Sabrina how hard her life is right away and kept her from making that wish.
04:39 She always seems like the type to rant angrily.
04:42 We're supposed to think she's a grump.
04:46 I have to assume that a part of the spell is keeping people from noticing the different voices.
04:52 How is Enchantress allergic to all animals?
04:55 First off, that's impossible.
04:57 And second, she would have used a potion or spell to cure herself of that curse.
05:02 Sabrina explains right away why Salem is with her in front of the minion.
05:08 Enchantress wants to watch TV and Hilda uses magic to turn the TV because Sabrina's late for school.
05:15 They notice that she's talking with Enchantress' accent.
05:18 And she's mad at them for mocking her accent.
05:21 Which is fake since she's from the South.
05:24 Realistically, she'd punish them for this.
05:27 And not just by doing something petty like extending their lives as a team.
05:32 There's no way Enchantress would be able to use any evil spells on her own.
05:36 Jem used Sabrina's magic to turn them into statues.
05:41 Why even use this idea if you're not going to use it naturally?
05:46 The ants warp her in front of the school.
05:49 A reporter thanks Enchantress playing games with them by saying no comment.
05:53 And Sabrina has to run away from them.
05:56 She's expected to discuss more diplomacy and is told some forced, ridiculous greeting protocol.
06:03 Which of course she screws up.
06:05 Causing magic to get used to hurt her.
06:08 Because I guess they're on the same level where they're just as powerful as Enchantress.
06:14 I wouldn't expect Adela's life to be like this.
06:18 Enchantress' subplot would be great if I didn't have to see her fail at magic somehow.
06:23 It's cathartic to see Enchantress rant about how awful Sabrina's life is.
06:28 She wouldn't waste time bitching that nobody knows who Enchantress is.
06:31 She'd know mortals don't know about her.
06:34 She'd know they aren't allowed to know about witches.
06:38 This would only make sense if she wanted Sabrina to get punished.
06:42 So she gets put in detention.
06:44 Sabrina reads an article saying that Enchantress doesn't know what she's doing.
06:49 Miraculously written by someone who isn't afraid of Enchantress' wrath.
06:54 Enchantress is expected to do laundry.
06:57 It's always been obvious with how she's been talking that she switched places with Sabrina.
07:02 It wouldn't be like Sabrina to start talking like Enchantress for that long.
07:08 Hilda would have known she would switch with Enchantress.
07:11 I'm pretty sure witches would have that good of an imagination and they're old enough to be able to think.
07:18 Hilda says she has to do witch work and the scene ends before we get to see it when that would have been interesting.
07:25 The minion hears complaints, finding out what really happened.
07:29 It turns out he wants to take over the world.
07:32 And somehow Sabrina tells Salem to get the scepter rather than using magic on the minion instantly.
07:39 Somehow when he tells guards to take her to the dungeon, she doesn't instantly use magic to prevent that.
07:46 Even though she can use telekinesis on Harvey and warp him to another dimension.
07:51 This part of the show would have never happened because the minion would have thought that magic would be used on him.
07:57 He plans on doing something to make the wish crystals effect permanent.
08:01 Why is Sabrina not warping out of the cage?
08:04 I have to assume it's got a potion on it to keep her from escaping it.
08:08 How convenient for the bad guy that there even is a way to make it permanent.
08:13 And he clearly isn't very memorable.
08:16 Or his name isn't because I don't remember his name.
08:19 He doesn't deserve to be called by his name anyways.
08:22 Enchantress watching the car the mortal way somehow.
08:26 This episode's a disaster.
08:28 Sabrina plans to summon Enchantress with the summoning spell she taught her in order to teach her how to use her spells.
08:35 Somehow to complete the spell she needs an eagle's feather.
08:39 When that's never how spells work.
08:42 She tells Salem he's resourceful, smart, and handsome.
08:48 And Salem goes under the bars to escape it and progresses in a boring way to eventually get a feather.
08:54 Salem won't simply get the feather without warping back to Sabrina right away.
08:58 If the minion was really dangerous he would have used magic on Salem instantly so he never would have gotten to Sabrina.
09:05 Why isn't the bad guy using magic to interrupt Sabrina's spell?
09:09 Why was I expected to ever be afraid of this villain if he's so stupid?
09:14 He gets turned into an animal.
09:16 How could Sabrina have been unable to do it without her when she turned Gem into a mouse?
09:22 They all return to normal.
09:25 Enchantress puts her hand on Sabrina's shoulder and tells her she does her life well with no evidence.
09:32 For all she knows this was a normal day in the life of Sabrina.
09:36 Then Enchantress frees Salem for saying something he should have known not to in front of the bad tempered Della ripoff.
09:43 Enchantress tells the ants to keep flattering her and we get to see the ants watch the car.
09:48 And she makes it dirty again.
09:50 A few seconds isn't really enough.
09:53 This is an amazingly petty minor punishment from the head witch.
09:58 This awful episode is about Sabrina and Enchantress switching lives.
10:02 Which never would have happened because the wish crystal would have been hidden under Sabrina's bed.
10:08 And Salem had no reason to tell someone who constantly turns to spooky about it.
10:14 Especially since he'd have to be cynical if he even wanted to take over the world.
10:18 And I really wish I knew where Salem got it.
10:22 The episode sucks because it expects me to believe Sabrina can't do things with her magic that she's been able to do effortlessly in earlier episodes.
10:31 The show had to have her suck so that Enchantress would get put in detention instead of turning the teacher into a fronk.
10:37 So what? Then Zelda would come undue and make the kids forget what happened.
10:42 That'd be more interesting and entertaining to see than her suffering through a mortal life.
10:46 Even when Sabrina is threatened with a coup, she doesn't instantly use magic against the bad guy.
10:52 Why does she need Enchantress to tell her to recite a spell to do something she basically already did?
10:58 And why does the bad guy do nothing to stop the spell?
11:02 Sabrina the Animated Series, episode 46.
11:06 Harvey thanks Quigley for somehow including him in a family trip.
11:11 He must have included him to force the witches not to use magic.
11:15 But they'd covertly use it anyways if the show was being good.
11:18 The family going on a ski trip is nothing new.
11:21 And Sabrina hopes Salem's okay being left home alone.
11:25 Why are they trusting Salem home alone?
11:29 It is entertaining to see him do creative things and enjoy himself.
11:33 They're lucky he doesn't throw a party. At least they avoided that cliche.
11:37 The writer forced him to scream for help because he can't get up even though he'd just get up.
11:44 Zelda says she and Hilda used to love Billy Go Boom Boom when they were kids.
11:49 They're over 600 years old.
11:51 Was Billy Go Boom Boom something that existed 600 years ago?
11:56 Why is Harvey not questioning this?
11:59 Jam Summerhill shows up at the same time and places them because the show sucks with no self-awareness.
12:06 What's wrong with having Sabrina say, "Are you stalking me?"
12:10 Quigley smacks into someone and apologizes and gets told he killed someone.
12:15 But I like that he got in trouble.
12:17 Harvey gets himself in pain and wants to give up while Sabrina reassures him not to.
12:22 And the bully wastes time.
12:24 And Harvey and Sabrina take it full wanting to give up.
12:28 Why am I being expected to listen to someone with an annoying voice talking to Quigley?
12:33 Why would they be so stupid as to give Quigley his own subplot if he barely gets to suffer at all?
12:39 He says the person Quigley crashed into is the only one who fit in the beaver suit.
12:44 Quigley doesn't know what exact size he is in all of his lifetime.
12:48 And gets picked for the replacement for the mascot.
12:51 Salem pours something from a vial onto his hand when he should have expected it to be an evil potion because he's in a witch's house.
12:58 Then he screams.
12:59 Nothing this bully says is worth not skipping past.
13:03 Quigley doesn't like being expected to take the mascot's place.
13:07 If so little is going to happen in that scene comparatively, why include it?
13:13 He's not suffering enough.
13:15 Sabrina tells her aunt Harvey got himself in a ski competition and may not survive.
13:21 Her aunts go from saying that's awful to instantly cheerfully changing the subject because they only care about what they want to do.
13:28 I have to assume that they don't care about mortals.
13:31 This forces Sabrina to have to turn to Salem over the phone instead of them.
13:35 And she threatens him into warping to her to help her.
13:38 Wait did he warp to her with his own magic?
13:41 Contradicting a few of the previous episodes.
13:44 He tells her to say his spell over some snow.
13:47 Does Sabrina I know just point and visualize?
13:50 Why did Harvey briefly become a snowman before taking a painful fall?
13:55 I don't blame her for using the spell though if she thought he was going to die otherwise.
14:00 The bully says nothing made him rotten in the past and he chooses to be a jerk.
14:05 But he blames his actions on cartoons.
14:08 Harvey gets the hang of snowboarding and then we see him sweat and say he's not even cold.
14:13 I understand her not instantly undoing the spell though because if he becomes bad at skiing, he could get seriously hurt or killed.
14:21 He just says it's weird that he's seeing an orange spot between his eyes because he's gradually turning into Frosty the Snowman.
14:28 But then he freaks out when he sees that his hands are twigs.
14:32 He turns into a snowman.
14:34 Too bad he's still able to talk.
14:36 It pads out the episode.
14:38 The Sabrina I know would point and turn back to normal instantly because that's how magic works.
14:43 He'll turn someone to snowman in a 70s comic and that was resolved pretty quickly.
14:49 She can make his sled move and send Jem into the other bully effortlessly.
14:54 Why can't she return him to normal?
14:57 Then he starts melting too much way too fast to be believable.
15:01 If she thinks she can't return him to normal, she'd still use his spell to make him stop melting.
15:07 Why would he be immune to magic?
15:10 The only reason it would exist is as an evil witch's curse out of spite.
15:15 We hear some music before we see girls catering to Salem.
15:19 I never have the time to mention it, but that music's a ripoff of the Wicked Witch of the West's music done slower with trumpets, which demonizes magic.
15:29 He says she somehow needs to use that snow she made the snowman from or Harvey's gonna be stuck as a snowman.
15:37 I hate this stupid show.
15:39 Magic is way too dark here.
15:41 If it worked this way, there'd be millions of times where a person was stuck under the effect of a spell all over the world.
15:48 The Witch's Council wouldn't put up with that.
15:51 Harvey says he's gonna go somewhere and melt because he's a freak.
15:55 Why would I care about anything related to these bullies?
15:58 I hope Quigley has a humiliating time.
16:01 No, he does fine until he crashes into somebody, but he's still smiling.
16:05 He doesn't get called out for injuring someone.
16:08 He gets called out for spitting too much.
16:10 It defeats the appeal of the Quigley torture if he's just having fun.
16:14 Why was this written then?
16:15 Good thing gets pushed into a dark tunnel, but he still doesn't care because he just thinks the kids are excited.
16:21 Why don't they skip to the suffering?
16:23 He gets shot from a cannon.
16:25 Sabrina doesn't want Jem getting away, so she skis on one board, so it's just snowboarding.
16:31 I never saw Sabrina do that before.
16:34 She goes off a cliff and Salem lands on the short kid.
16:38 Why would Jem let him hang out with her even to serve on her whim when she'd think it's not worth it to be mistaken for being his friend?
16:46 She'd have to explain that he's working for her every time someone sees them together.
16:52 Sabrina grabs Salem's tail when he's holding the kid who would hear the talking cat.
16:57 The snowball falls, and Sabrina magically brings it back to his hand.
17:02 If she can use telekinesis on the snow, why doesn't she think to use it on Salem to bring him back up?
17:08 I suppose because she'd reveal herself as a witch.
17:11 Apparently she cares more about keeping her secret than their lives until they'd outright fall anyways.
17:17 The ants miraculously show up for some reason, and a yeti pulls them up, saving them.
17:23 And eventually, Harvey gets turned back to normal and told he won.
17:28 Harvey would ask where Salem's voice came from if he was really oblivious.
17:33 Not to mention ask how the hell he was turned into a snowman.
17:37 And then the story ends with Salem talking right beside him.
17:40 Harvey supposedly being oblivious to the existence of magic and wanting an explanation every time it happens adds nothing good,
17:47 because it just makes the show look stupid every time.
17:50 Again, I can make it okay in my head by assuming he's playing dumb to keep Sabrina from being scared that it'll hit her up for spells or tell everyone on her.
17:57 Both times Salem talks next time in the episode, it ended the scene before we could hear Harvey's reaction.
18:04 And this time his facial expression doesn't even change in response to it.
18:08 And there's only one reason why that'd be the case.
18:12 What's so wrong about just writing it so that I know Salem can talk and so on the whole time?
18:17 In this episode, Harvey wants to get good at snowboarding, so Sabrina makes him good at it.
18:23 It could've removed the bullies from the episode and been a much better story for it,
18:27 because it's self-explanatory that someone would want to get good at snowboarding.
18:32 It's also bullshit that a spell Sabrina read out to make him a better skier caused him to gradually become a talking snowman.
18:39 The only reason that spell would exist would be if an evil witch came up with it.
18:43 But then she would've cut out the middleman and had the spell skip straight to turning the person into a snowman.
18:48 Not done a good deed would the spell make him happy.
18:51 If she made the spell like this, why would she make it so that she can't undo it if she regrets it?
18:56 Wouldn't she make him immune to magic from everyone except her?
18:59 It's just another frustrating episode that demonizes magic with a made-up bullshit side effect because religion heats witchcraft.
19:06 It should go without saying that Sabrina making Harvey good at skiing was doing the right thing,
19:11 because it made it so that he wouldn't get hurt from it or get humiliated skiing in a race against a bully.
19:17 It only becomes sort of bad if she kept such a spell going while he wanted to make a career out of sporting.
19:23 And that's very unlikely, realistically.
19:25 Just because you're good at something doesn't guarantee that you'll try getting a job in that field.
19:30 Not every video gamer wants to be a beta tester when they grow up.
19:34 The bully was so annoying that we wanted him to think he was proven wrong.
19:39 So I don't care, she was justified.
19:41 Especially since she thought his life depended on it.
19:44 [MUSIC PLAYING]