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00:00 Little Archie #132, Party Girl.
00:04 Hilda thinks there's something wrong with Sabrina because she's reading a book called Little Archie and not a book on witchcraft.
00:10 I've seen her read a book called Archie before, and none of her aunts complained about it.
00:17 I just have to assume that she got that book from Zelda after a trip to a parallel universe.
00:22 Zelda says that what's wrong with Sabrina is that she never has friends here.
00:27 But they have shown up here. I guess she's pretending they never did because it's been forever.
00:32 I guess she means they don't spend a lot of time here.
00:36 She should know that it's smart of her to not have friends over when her aunts don't even try to hide their magic.
00:42 Hilda says all of Sabrina's friends are too nice, except for Reggie, who's a kid after her own heart.
00:48 It's ironic that she says this because in Archie's TV laughout when she first meets Reggie,
00:53 she immediately hates him because he makes fun of her costume and the vampire photo on her wall.
00:57 So she's talking as if Reggie's rudeness to her hasn't deterred her against him, which is confusing.
01:03 I guess she's just that used to people making fun of her outfit, so she forgave him.
01:07 Zelda wants Sabrina to have fun and throw a party for her friends.
01:11 Her aunts are so loving in this comic.
01:14 And Sabrina says she doesn't think they'll come because all the kids know that this house is weird.
01:19 That makes sense because Zelda said she contacted the cops with witch-wired telepathy in front of her friends,
01:25 and they don't try to hide their magic at all.
01:27 Sabrina says that the kids today want modern things and everything to look new.
01:32 Zelda uses magic to give her what she wants, and Sabrina's friends get invited to her house.
01:38 Surprisingly, Betty says she sort of liked Sabrina's house the old way,
01:43 and Veronica thought it was cool that her house looked like witches lived in it.
01:47 She liked the old black kettles, brooms, and magic books.
01:51 They were so lazy about hiding them that even Veronica found them.
01:55 With Sabrina's friends still behind her, she tells Zelda that her friends liked the house as it was,
02:00 and Zelda immediately changes it back.
02:02 Conveniently, nobody gets freaked out, as if they're already used to magic existing.
02:07 Hilda offers them pumpkin punch, and Zelda offers them bat wing sandwiches.
02:13 And unlike in the 70s cartoon, where Sabrina's friends were all disgusted at hearing about food with witch ingredients,
02:19 Jokehead impresses me by keeping an open mind, and says these are the best tasting sandwiches he ever had,
02:26 while Reggie hopes Zelda was just kidding.
02:29 Betty leaves and says it was a great party.
02:32 Hilda's right, her friends are really nice to her.
02:34 Zelda gets told to clean up, and casts a spell to make everything gone,
02:38 and that makes all their dishes disappear by mistake.
02:41 This was a heartwarming story where Sabrina's worry that her friends won't come to her party are, go figure, unbounded.
02:48 They even liked her house better the way it was, and didn't need it to be like a normal house.
02:53 Even I ended up growing fond of how 70s Sabrina fully takes advantage of the characters being witches like that.
02:59 While at first I felt like it missed the point of Sabrina and 7 bit too stereotypical, because I started out with a sitcom,
03:06 the more I experienced old school Sabrina, the more I felt like it was actually 2000s Sabrina that missed the point of the series.
03:12 I come to it for witches, and while it does use witch cliches,
03:16 overemphasizing that they can be just like normal people can bore me if they make things too mundane and normal.
03:22 If I'm bored and frustrated, I can't appreciate it just because it's being more unique, with really nothing else to offer.
03:29 Little Archie #133, The Magic Carpet.
03:35 Zelda thinks her carpet has a lot of holes, and casts a spell telling her magic to make the carpet new and blue.
03:41 For no reason, she tells her spell to fly the old carpet outside the door, so Jughead sees it.
03:48 I thought she was going to use magic to change her old carpet to be different.
03:53 Why would she create a new one? She said make it new.
03:57 So because of this, somehow the rest of the plot happens, even though since Jughead wishing he could find a way to get it home,
04:04 causes it to fly and amaze him, you really think she'd remember that and not just leave it outside her house?
04:10 She'd remove the magic from it. I guess she wanted someone to pick it up because she likes to help people,
04:17 when she could have just zapped it away.
04:19 So Jughead wants to show the flying carpets his friends at the chocolate shop.
04:23 He doesn't tell them where he got that and bet he wants a ride, and he cleverly says they'll have to pay the pilot for it.
04:31 So they offer to buy food and drinks for him in exchange for rides.
04:36 Sure, he might offer rides for money in front of the people working at the school, but who'd believe anyone about that?
04:44 All they could do is tell him it might be dangerous and he should do it somewhere else.
04:48 Sabrina finds the carpet familiar and tells Zelda what happened.
04:53 Why does she have to ruin his fun?
04:55 Well, she can't risk the government seeing the flying carpet and people trying to find out how it works.
05:01 Jughead won't always get to keep it, but they won't be able to find out how it works because it's magic,
05:07 unless there's nanomachines to discover behind magic that they could use, and they'd be too complex for them to use anyways.
05:14 Maybe witches think they could develop magic detectors and hunt down witches with them.
05:19 I feel bad for Jughead.
05:20 Sabrina tells Zelda to take the magic out of the carpet, and Reggie tells Jughead he must have eaten too much as an explanation for the carpet not working.
05:29 So when Sabrina sees him later, she fortunately feels bad for him because the kids tore his clothes as a punishment for getting them to buy him stuff for nothing.
05:38 The story didn't go on long enough.
05:41 For no reason, when Zelda casts a spell to make her carpet new,
05:45 her old carpet's still there, and she just makes a new one after she conveniently gets bored of the old one despite stubbornly wearing the same clothes for centuries.
05:54 She tosses it out the window instead of just destroying it, and Jughead flies on it and gets his friends to buy him food and drinks.
06:01 I guess that was worth it for him because he's still happy at the end of the story.
06:05 Sabrina looks like the bad guy here because we don't see any actual consequences to him getting the carpet and offering his friends a ride on it.
06:12 Anyone who'd see them would be taken as seriously as people who say they saw you up low,
06:17 and the carpet would fly by a witness too fast for them to follow it home.
06:21 One of his neighbors could see him land the carpet and steal it at night.
06:26 But then it'd be a simple matter of waiting for someone to land the flying carpet in front of their house to see them land it and get it back.
06:34 Why did Jughead have to lose the carpet?
06:36 Worst case scenario, a scientist could see the carpet land and make a magic detector from its magic, but that's not likely.
06:42 We should have seen that happen, and then after Sabrina's family would get detected, they'd go back in time to prevent Jughead from getting the carpet.
06:49 Then it'd be justified, but as it is, I don't see why Jughead shouldn't get to offer rides to kids for money.
06:55 Zelda didn't want the carpet anymore. All Sabrina has to do is ask Jughead not to tell people where he got the magic carpet.
07:02 If we were shown him being threatened into telling people anyways, then she'd look justified in getting the carpet depowered, because we wouldn't want him to go through that all the time.
07:10 Lil Archie #134 - The Paint Job
07:16 Hilda says her house needs to be painted, and Zelda thinks she means paint a picture of her house for no reason.
07:24 Despite Hilda being a proud witch who wants Sabrina to be a wicked witch too, she thinks her house's colors are too dull and drab and says, "I want to change to something cheerful and gay."
07:36 Zelda puts a mural on the wall and annoys her, and says they should cool off with iced cucumber tea and talk about it.
07:44 Salem Bainly makes a drawing of himself on the house, standing upright while holding a pencil.
07:51 If he's got human intelligence, I can see why the 90s sitcom reinterpreted him to be a transformed witch. It's easier to understand.
08:00 Here, I have to assume he's a witch world cat and those are smarter.
08:04 Then the comic confuses and annoys me by breaking the fourth wall again because Archie's getting letters from Lil Archie's mail board from all over the world somehow.
08:14 Why? In-universe, he's just a normal kid and the only reputation he has is that of a loser.
08:21 Jughead says they could paper a room with the letters, so Sabrina gets the boneheaded idea that her aunt would like to see the letters papered the outside of her house.
08:32 She casts a spell to send the letters to her, and they fly with wings and Jughead says they must be a bag of air mail.
08:39 So the story wastes my time with Sabrina just pointing out the obvious about the fan submitted stuff.
08:45 Nothing interesting happens. Her aunts go from disapproving to Zelda liking a drawing of herself and wanting more fan content.
08:54 This story is about Hilda wanting her house painted because she thinks it's too dull and drab, even though it's pink on the outside, which you wouldn't expect for a witch's house in the first place.
09:04 And then the story derails itself into a fourth wall break where Archie has letters from fans for no in-universe reason, and Sabrina somehow thinks she's allowed to cover the walls of her house with them.
09:16 At least I don't have to see her get punished.
09:18 Lil Archie issue 135, A Want for Cinderfeller.
09:25 Sabrina's carrying a lot of stuff, panting from it realistically. And since Reggie would have seen it and upset her if she levitated or warped it to where she wanted, it's actually smart that she didn't do that this time.
09:38 Her aunts wanted her to clean the cellar out, so she's throwing stuff out.
09:43 She thanks Reggie for offering to help and all he does is carry the want.
09:48 And for no reason, Sabrina thinks it's not magical and lets him keep it. It didn't have to be written this lazily.
09:56 He could have waited for her to go inside and then stolen the want.
10:00 He wants to use this in his magic act.
10:03 Veronica doesn't want to go out with him because she's off to the beach with Archie.
10:07 And Reggie gets impatient and assumes he won't get to have another date with her until next year, implying that she goes out with Archie too much.
10:15 He assumes that he could be number one with Veronica if he had wheels.
10:19 Lucky for him, he gets a skateboard instead of growing wheels, because the want read his mind and knew what he meant.
10:26 I like that he says this came from Sabrina's house when calling it magic, instead of being impossibly oblivious.
10:34 Inconveniently, Zelda actually remembers without prompting that the family want was in the cellar.
10:40 Why on earth did she tell her to clean out the whole cellar without telling her to leave the want alone?
10:46 It makes sense that she'd forget the want was in the cellar until recently when she'd have a reason to think about it enough.
10:52 Because she never uses the want.
10:55 She says it was used by Sabrina's aunt Biddy on Cinderella.
10:59 And I have to assume she means a Cinderella from another universe where she was real.
11:03 No one questions her about that.
11:06 And Sabrina's somehow surprised to learn that Reggie took the want even though she told him he could keep it.
11:12 And saw the want.
11:14 He creates a car small enough for him to fit in, but it's also dumb because he should know that cops wouldn't let him drive.
11:21 He creates some new clothes, saving his parents money at least.
11:26 He's also surprisingly smart enough to not tell her how he got the car.
11:30 He tries to give her a ride, and at least she tells Archie she'll still see him at the beach.
11:36 He was also smart enough to give the car only two seats.
11:40 But then the car vanishes.
11:42 Reggie's so humiliated that he snaps the want in half saying that its magic sucks.
11:47 Good thing he did that instead of realizing that he could spend a while tormenting Archie with it.
11:52 If everything it does is temporary, then he could get away with doing stuff with it that he normally wouldn't.
11:58 He could even self-experience it with no consequences.
12:01 But it's realistic for someone to get mad and make a mistake instead of thinking at that age.
12:06 Fortunately, it's explained why this happens to him.
12:09 The want doesn't know noon from midnight.
12:12 But that's stupid.
12:14 If someone cast a spell on a want to make its magic get undone at midnight,
12:19 they'd be thinking about night.
12:21 So it wouldn't think they meant the other 12 o'clock too.
12:25 It never even made sense that there was a midnight limit in the first place.
12:29 Sabrina hoped she got all the pieces.
12:32 For no reason at all, she didn't double-check before leaving.
12:36 So the story ends with a mouse changing a mouse into a donkey or something and getting told off by his mother,
12:42 who's brave enough to tell him to change him back.
12:45 This story is about Sabrina cleaning out the cellar and somehow thinking it's a good idea to let Reggie have an obvious want.
12:52 So go figure, it's magical.
12:54 Anyone could think of a plot like this for Sabrina.
12:57 It makes Zelda look like an idiot for not looking through all of the cellar first before telling Sabrina to clean it out.
13:04 At which point, she would've found the want and hid it somewhere else.
13:08 For no reason, all of the magic gets undone when the clock hits 12 o'clock.
13:13 No matter which 12 o'clock it is.
13:16 So Reggie assumes that its magic is always temporary and breaks it because he's so mad at it disappointing him.
13:22 If he was smart, he'd keep using it anyways out of desperation and realize that it's fine to use it for temporary experiences.
13:31 And he'd figure out that it's always at 12 o'clock when the spells get undone.
13:35 So he'd plan accordingly.
13:37 Little Archie, issue 136. A Good Sport.
13:43 You'd think it'd be explained how Reggie got a black magic book.
13:47 It's a safe assumption that he stole it from Sabrina's house.
13:51 Since Reggie knows Sabrina's a witch, it makes sense that he'd try to use a hex book.
13:57 But we should've seen him getting it.
13:59 It seems creative that he's using a hexing needle on a clay sculpture instead of a voodoo doll.
14:05 Predictably, when he casts a spell holding the book and puts a pin against a clay jug head, something bad happens to jug head.
14:14 Well, it could just be a coincidence.
14:16 That could be a surprise, even though there's no reason the book itself would have magic for a mortal to use.
14:23 If anything could have magic in it, if it was in physical contact with a witch enough times, you'd think that even Sabrina's clothes would grant wishes.
14:33 The fact remains that even if residual magic could make things magical, you'd think the magic books and other items would have a "no mortals allowed" spell on them.
14:43 Jug head sees some food in the hallway and tries to eat it, and then a bully grabs him and hits him for trying to eat his lunch.
14:52 Why did he leave his lunch out in the hallway instead of holding onto it?
14:57 He was relieved that jug head didn't eat it all.
15:00 If he cares that much about his lunch, why would he risk it all being eaten by using it as bait to give himself an excuse to hit someone?
15:08 Reggie hears jug head hoping that he could still eat food, and Reggie says he'll do one of Archie too.
15:15 And I assume Sabrina was aware of the panel where he said "he did it too" so that it makes sense that she figured out what happened.
15:23 Because him making a clay image of Archie by itself doesn't prove that he's using magic.
15:29 Her thought bubble doesn't have her assume that he stole her magic book.
15:33 Why would a witch donate an actual magic book that actually grants wishes?
15:37 Sabrina says a spell in front of Reggie, and you'd think he'd hear her and know that he was cursed to hurt himself when he tried to hurt Archie.
15:46 I guess I have to assume that when her words are italicized, no one can hear her.
15:51 But it'd be more clear if it was a thought bubble instead.
15:54 Archie asks him if there's anything wrong.
15:57 It's nice of him to care, even if Reggie doesn't deserve it.
16:01 Reggie somehow doesn't learn his lesson until the next time he's hurt.
16:05 Then he throws away the clay sculpture.
16:08 Sabrina runs away, saying that it looks stormy.
16:11 Reggie says that he feels like he doesn't know enough to come in out of the rain.
16:15 As the cursed Archie clay is in the rain.
16:19 But the only water near Reggie is the pair of sweat drops, and that's only supposed to indicate that he's upset from feeling like he's being rained on.
16:27 This story is about Reggie having a hex book and trying to use it on Archie.
16:33 Since Jughead got hurt from a bully, Reggie might have just made the wrong assumption and actually couldn't use magic.
16:40 Sabrina curses him to get hurt when he tries to hex Archie, but she could have just made his book and clay sculpture disappear.