Dana B | Dana Beers Vlog
Category
🥇
SportsTranscript
00:00 We are back in Tampa Bay for Gasparilla.
00:03 I'm a pirate again.
00:04 I'm drinking pirate water again.
00:06 I'm gonna be handing them out all day.
00:08 These people are wild.
00:09 Tampa Bay is wild.
00:10 Drinkpiratewater.com.
00:12 This place is a pirate festival.
00:14 The perfect thing to drink here is a pirate water.
00:16 Four flavors.
00:17 We got them all.
00:18 Drinkpiratewater.com.
00:19 It will show you where you can get it.
00:21 Anytime I need some P-Dub, some pirate water,
00:23 my first stop is always Surf Today.
00:25 I'll be right back.
00:28 I got two. Sex on the beach.
00:30 Margarita.
00:31 I'm ready for Gaspi.
00:32 Let's go talk to some pirates.
00:34 It's hot out.
00:35 I'm sweating balls.
00:36 Let's do it.
00:37 Fuck bitches.
00:38 Get money.
00:39 Let's go, Ferd up.
00:40 What kind of money you getting?
00:41 Honestly, none.
00:42 I get like, minimum wage, which is like $12.50.
00:44 But like--
00:45 Fuck bitches, get money.
00:46 That's what I'm saying, bro.
00:47 That's what I'm saying.
00:48 I love Dave Portnoy.
00:49 He's the best.
00:50 I'll vote for whoever he says to vote for, really.
00:53 Donald Trump, Joe Biden, that old guy
00:56 that used to run like a couple years ago against Hillary.
00:58 Barry Sanders?
00:59 Barry, yeah.
01:00 I'll vote for Barry Sanders.
01:01 Tell me about yourself.
01:02 How old are you?
01:03 29-ish.
01:04 It changes every year.
01:05 It's hard to keep up.
01:07 Gasparilla.
01:08 One word.
01:09 One word?
01:09 Bitches.
01:15 Two words.
01:16 Fine.
01:16 16 words.
01:17 If I could fuck anyone, I would fuck at Gasparilla.
01:22 I think that's 16.
01:23 That's 16, right?
01:24 That's 16.
01:24 My name is Richard Johnson, but I go by Dick Dick.
01:27 Keep your mind right, keep it straight,
01:29 and you can accomplish anything.
01:31 Keep your mind straight.
01:32 Give up all that bullshit, bro.
01:33 Don't think negative.
01:34 Don't think on that.
01:35 Only think positive, bro.
01:37 Keep your mind straight, and you'll achieve everything.
01:39 Do I have to watch my language?
01:46 No, you can say fuck, shit, ass, balls, tits,
01:48 whatever you want.
01:49 I love balls.
01:50 You love balls?
01:50 Well, like baseballs and soccer balls.
01:55 Hey, if you're going to drink a Gaspi, drink pirate water.
01:58 Pirate water.
01:59 Margarita, Campedan.
02:00 If you've seen this booty, you let us know.
02:03 Has this been working at all today?
02:04 Absolutely not.
02:05 That's why we need help.
02:07 And any type of action off this?
02:08 Nothing.
02:09 You want pirate water?
02:10 Speaking of pirates.
02:11 Gasparilla is just a Mardi Gras, but just a pirate-themed
02:14 Mardi Gras.
02:14 That's all it is.
02:15 It's about wenches.
02:16 It's about pirates.
02:17 It's about titties.
02:19 What makes you a pirate?
02:22 I've been to prison.
02:24 What'd you do?
02:25 Oh, we don't talk about that.
02:26 We won't talk about it, but how long?
02:28 How long?
02:28 Five years.
02:29 How was it in the clink?
02:31 You know, it's very boring.
02:33 23 hours in and one and a half hour out, it sucks.
02:36 No boozing?
02:36 No.
02:37 I mean, we made some toilet wine.
02:38 That was about it.
02:40 I've been coming here for 40 years.
02:41 40?
02:42 What's the craziest thing you've ever seen?
02:44 I've seen girls walking around naked.
02:46 How was that?
02:47 Yeah, fun.
02:48 My hair was dead.
02:49 What are you seeing out there, brother?
02:51 Bro, it's fucking mad lit out here, bro.
02:52 I'm just with my boy.
02:54 We just cool.
02:54 What does that mean?
02:55 I don't know what that means.
02:56 We just fucking cooling, bro.
02:57 Cooling is just like a little Florida slang, bro.
02:59 You know what I'm trying to say?
03:00 We just chilling, bro.
03:01 You know, we just vibing.
03:02 You see all the motherfucking energy in this bitch.
03:04 Give me some other Florida slang.
03:05 Oh, what's some Florida slang, bro?
03:07 I don't even know, bro.
03:08 We out here at Tampa Bay, baby.
03:09 What's it about?
03:11 You know, we just--
03:13 that's all right.
03:14 You short circuited.
03:15 We can reset.
03:16 I'm out in Tampa getting the bands up.
03:19 Everybody fuck with me, come on in, Miss Gavin.
03:21 I love big booty Latinas.
03:22 Really?
03:23 Oh, yeah.
03:24 Why?
03:25 Because they got big booties and Latinas.
03:26 You like any other big booties?
03:28 I mean, any big booty is good, but Latinas are on top.
03:31 You like any other Latinas?
03:33 No.
03:33 Daddy Yankee?
03:35 Daddy Yankee, no, no, no.
03:36 Why?
03:36 Come on, come on, come on.
03:37 Stop playing with me.
03:37 Stop playing with me.
03:38 What the fuck's wrong with Daddy Yankee?
03:39 What else are you into?
03:40 Emo bitches.
03:40 Really?
03:41 If they're bad, oh, yeah.
03:42 Why?
03:42 Gaslighting and manipulating hella.
03:45 You're into that?
03:45 Yeah.
03:46 Why are you into that?
03:47 I don't know.
03:47 It's just like-- it's like fun.
03:48 Do you want to play a survival mode on easy
03:50 or are you going to play on hard?
03:51 Hard.
03:51 You slimmed down.
03:52 You're a Latina.
03:53 I had to show a screenshot last year
03:55 when I was the fattest I ever was.
03:56 No, but you slimmed down.
03:57 You got to go bouncer?
03:58 No, I'm a valet.
04:00 Really?
04:00 I prefer to move cones.
04:02 I'm more of a cone guy.
04:03 I'm more of a supervisor.
04:04 I like to do as little as possible.
04:06 Talk to me about cones.
04:07 So firstly, I love me some cones.
04:11 Why?
04:12 I know what you do.
04:15 You got to move the cone, and you can just
04:18 put them right in there, like right in there.
04:21 You ever just meet someone and you're like,
04:23 if I just move that cone out of the way,
04:24 I can just get right in that spot,
04:26 like perfectly right between the lines?
04:28 Is it true what they say?
04:30 God, there's like a slightly better Four Loko.
04:32 Bro, it's hot out here.
04:33 It's hot as fuck, bro.
04:35 I'm about to fucking die.
04:36 I'm from North Carolina.
04:38 It's been 20 degrees lately.
04:40 It's 85 in this motherfucker.
04:41 I'm about to damn die.
04:42 We going skiing today, baby.
04:44 Oh, yeah?
04:44 We skiing today.
04:45 There's snow bunnies are out tonight.
04:47 How y'all doing?
04:49 It's weird how all the motherfuckers that
04:51 talk about black people are mad to white girls.
04:54 Every time.
04:55 It's snowing out here.
04:57 It definitely is.
04:58 How's that make you feel?
04:59 I'm fine.
05:00 Hey, I don't know what I'm saying.
05:01 Everybody is beautiful, right?
05:03 What do I got to do to see some TIG old biddies up in this bitch,
05:05 bro?
05:06 Tell me what's up.
05:07 Be a gentleman?
05:08 Yeah.
05:08 Be a gentleman?
05:09 Yeah.
05:09 I'm here live with who?
05:10 My name is Matt Walker.
05:12 I love your voice.
05:14 It's an OK voice.
05:14 Well, Gaspar the pirate who's on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
05:19 helmet, supposedly he stole the money from the Louisiana
05:23 purchase of Florida from Spain.
05:25 [SPEED RAPIDLY SPEEDS UP]
05:33 Proud to be an American.
05:35 What about all the people that say,
05:36 it's really just about getting fucked up?
05:39 It is too, yeah.
05:39 What's going on today?
05:41 I saw a fucking Gasparilla buying free fucking pirate hats.
05:45 We're getting piratey.
05:46 We're getting sendy.
05:47 There's no law that says thou shalt not send.
05:49 Let's get sendy!
05:51 There's no commandment that says thou shalt not send.
05:53 Talk to me more about sending.
05:55 If you're not sending, if you're not with milk,
05:57 go the fuck home!
05:57 What about someone that can't physically send?
06:00 Oh, like if you have no legs or arms?
06:02 I mean, you can still send.
06:04 I'll open your shawty.
06:05 What would you say to someone that refuses to send?
06:07 What the fuck are you doing in Tampa Bay, Florida?
06:10 What the fuck?
06:10 Let's get sendy!
06:12 Let's get sendy!
06:14 Fuck these hoes and they mama too.
06:16 Is that true?
06:17 That's the truth.
06:18 They mama deserve it too.
06:19 Really?
06:20 Absolutely.
06:21 Why?
06:22 Undoubtedly.
06:22 Why?
06:23 Because if it wasn't for they mama, they wouldn't be here.
06:24 What's popping today?
06:26 Fuck, bitches showing titties, all of it.
06:28 You know, I have a girlfriend though, bae.
06:30 That's my girlfriend.
06:30 How do you feel about that?
06:32 No comment.
06:32 No comment.
06:33 You were just saying what you saw.
06:35 It didn't mean you liked it.
06:36 Yeah, exactly.
06:37 Exactly, right?
06:38 You didn't like the bitches showing titties.
06:39 I go like this.
06:40 I love you, mom.
06:41 And fuck you, dad!
06:43 We're just here to fucking get drunk and get laid.
06:46 Is that true?
06:46 That's it.
06:47 We're all trying to get fucking hammered and get laid.
06:50 That's it.
06:51 Everybody here!
06:54 What about that guy that said this was all about the history
06:56 of Tampa Bay?
06:58 What happened to that?
06:58 We're going to get bitches anyway, so.
07:01 You think you're going to get bitches tonight?
07:02 Me?
07:03 Right now in the state you're in?
07:06 Are you a pirate?
07:07 Yes, I am.
07:08 Why?
07:09 Because I drink every day and I end up in the water.
07:11 Mostly I'm falling off of shit, but sometimes I end up on a
07:14 boat and I'm not quite sure how I got there.
07:16 That's the craziest shit you've ever done.
07:17 One time I shit myself and there was a--
07:20 what's it?
07:20 The howling--
07:21 one of those spinning monkeys.
07:23 And I shit myself because it threw shit at me.
07:26 So I shit myself, put it in my hand, threw shit back at it.
07:29 Because I feel like that's a show of dominance.
07:32 You know what I'm saying?
07:32 You can't let the wild animals try to
07:35 dominate me like that.
07:36 I'm a fucking animal.
07:37 It's a fucking animal.
07:39 (dramatic music)
07:41 you