Alice In Wonderland Full Movies
Alice In Wonderland Full Movies
Transcript
00:00:00 [wind howling]
00:00:02 There was a time when meadow, grove, and stream,
00:00:11 the earth and every common sight,
00:00:13 to me did seem apparelled in celestial light,
00:00:16 the glory and the freshness of a dream.
00:00:19 [bells ringing]
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00:00:39 [indistinct chatter]
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00:01:35 [birds chirping]
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00:02:01 [bells ringing]
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00:02:25 [birds chirping]
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00:02:35 (gentle music)
00:02:38 (birds chirping)
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00:03:51 (upbeat music)
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00:06:36 (gentle music)
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00:06:56 (gentle music)
00:06:58 - I'll try to find out what things I used to know.
00:07:07 Let me see.
00:07:08 Four times five is 12.
00:07:11 And four times six is 13.
00:07:17 And four times seven is...
00:07:23 (gentle music)
00:07:25 (gentle music)
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00:07:37 (gentle music)
00:08:04 (gentle music)
00:08:06 Curiouser and curiouser.
00:08:23 How does the little crocodile improve his shining tail?
00:08:32 And pour the waters of the Nile on every golden scale?
00:08:37 (gentle music)
00:08:40 (gentle music)
00:08:47 (gentle music)
00:08:53 (gentle music)
00:08:55 I think the main problem is how we all get dry.
00:09:22 If you'd all be quiet and listen to me,
00:09:24 I'll soon make you dry enough.
00:09:26 - Yes, yes, yes.
00:09:28 - Are you ready?
00:09:29 Here is the driest thing that I know.
00:09:31 - Yes, yes, yes.
00:09:33 - Silence all around, please.
00:09:35 - Yes, yes, yes.
00:09:36 - William Conqueror, whose cause was favored by the Pope,
00:09:42 was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders,
00:09:46 and were of late much accustomed
00:09:48 to use of vision and conquest.
00:09:51 Edwin and Mocha, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--
00:09:56 - I have never been so bored in my life.
00:09:59 - Yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:10:02 - Did you speak?
00:10:03 - No, not a word.
00:10:05 - Yes, yes, yes.
00:10:06 - I thought you did.
00:10:07 - Yes, yes, yes.
00:10:08 - I shall proceed.
00:10:10 - Yes, yes, yes.
00:10:11 - Edwin and Mocha, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria,
00:10:16 soon declared for him.
00:10:17 (Mocha growling)
00:10:19 Even Stigund, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury,
00:10:24 found it advisable to go with Edgar Aetheling
00:10:27 and offer William the crown.
00:10:29 While the country still reeled
00:10:32 under the shock of the conquest,
00:10:34 the Conqueror followed it by introducing the feudal system,
00:10:38 which was hardly a ray of sunshine,
00:10:42 as it drove a coach and horses
00:10:44 through the middle of the Anglo-Saxon polity,
00:10:47 and the English were forced to flee.
00:10:50 - How are you getting on now, my dear?
00:10:52 - Yes.
00:10:53 - Yes.
00:10:53 - Oh, in that case, I move that this meeting adjourn
00:10:57 for more energetic measures.
00:10:59 And I think a good thing would be to have a caucus race.
00:11:04 - What's a caucus race?
00:11:05 - Well, best way to explain it is for us all to do it.
00:11:10 Hmm?
00:11:11 (dramatic music)
00:11:14 (crowd cheering)
00:11:16 (dramatic music)
00:11:19 (crowd cheering)
00:11:22 (dramatic music)
00:11:25 (crowd cheering)
00:11:27 (dramatic music)
00:11:30 (crowd cheering)
00:11:33 (dramatic music)
00:11:36 (crowd cheering)
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00:11:41 (crowd cheering)
00:11:46 (dramatic music)
00:11:48 (crowd cheering)
00:11:51 (dramatic music)
00:12:06 - Oh, this will never do.
00:12:08 Come on, come along, come along.
00:12:11 Come on, come on now.
00:12:13 Come on.
00:12:14 This one, come on.
00:12:15 Come along now.
00:12:16 Come on.
00:12:17 (crowd gasping)
00:12:18 That's it, that's it.
00:12:20 Come on now, come on.
00:12:34 (crowd gasping)
00:12:37 (horses whinnying)
00:13:02 (horses whinnying)
00:13:05 - All right, the race is over.
00:13:14 - Who won?
00:13:16 Who won?
00:13:16 - Everybody's won.
00:13:19 And everyone must have prizes.
00:13:21 (crowd singing)
00:13:24 - Prizes, prizes, prizes, prizes.
00:13:27 - Who's to give the prizes?
00:13:37 - Why, she will, of course.
00:13:39 - Prize, prize, prizes.
00:13:41 - Prizes, prizes, prizes.
00:13:43 - She must have a prize herself, of course.
00:14:06 - Well, of course she must.
00:14:08 What else have you got in your pocket, eh?
00:14:12 - Only a thimble.
00:14:14 - Oh, let me see.
00:14:16 Ooh.
00:14:17 I beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble.
00:14:22 (crowd murmuring)
00:14:24 - Perhaps you would care to continue with your story.
00:14:28 - You obviously have your own methods of drying off.
00:14:31 I don't see why I should waste my breath on it anymore.
00:14:34 (crowd murmuring)
00:14:38 - I do nothing of the sort.
00:14:41 - What a pity he wouldn't stay.
00:14:43 - Come along, come along, Wendy.
00:14:47 (dramatic music)
00:14:53 - Mary Anne, Mary Anne, fetch me my gloves this moment.
00:15:06 (birds chirping)
00:15:34 - I'm sure I'm not Ada.
00:15:37 She's got long ringlets.
00:15:39 My hair doesn't go in ringlets at all.
00:15:42 And I'm sure I can't be Mabel,
00:15:45 'cause I know all sorts of things,
00:15:48 and she knows nothing.
00:15:50 Besides, she's she, and I...
00:15:52 Oh dear, how puzzling it all is.
00:15:58 (light music)
00:16:01 (footsteps tapping)
00:16:04 I'd love the little crocodile to prove his shining tail
00:16:10 and pour the waters of the night on every golden scale.
00:16:14 How cheerfully he seems to grin and neatly spread his claws
00:16:17 and welcome little fishes in with gently smiling jaws.
00:16:21 I must be Mabel after all.
00:16:25 Oh, I'll have to go and live in that pokey little house.
00:16:30 Mary Anne, do you hear me?
00:16:31 Fetch me my gloves and fan.
00:16:33 I'll go around and get in the window.
00:16:38 (crocodile grunting)
00:16:41 Mary Anne.
00:16:47 (crocodile howling)
00:16:50 What a barrelful we'll do to begin with.
00:16:53 A barrelful of what?
00:16:59 (crocodile growling)
00:17:02 We must burn the house down.
00:17:06 (light music)
00:17:08 (upbeat music)
00:17:27 (crow cawing)
00:17:29 (upbeat music)
00:17:32 (upbeat music)
00:17:35 (dog barking)
00:17:38 (upbeat music)
00:17:42 (Mary Anne sighing)
00:17:59 - Who are you?
00:18:01 Who are you?
00:18:02 Who are you?
00:18:06 - Who are you?
00:18:26 Come on, don't just stand there.
00:18:29 Who are you?
00:18:30 - I'm afraid I don't know just at the moment.
00:18:34 I know who I was when I got up this morning,
00:18:36 but I think I've changed several times since then.
00:18:41 - What on earth would you mean by that exactly?
00:18:44 Explain yourself.
00:18:46 - I'm afraid I can't explain myself.
00:18:48 I'm not myself, you see.
00:18:51 - No, I don't see.
00:18:52 - I can't put it any more clearly, I'm afraid,
00:18:56 because I don't understand it myself.
00:18:59 And it's very confusing changing sides so often.
00:19:03 - It's not at all.
00:19:05 - Well, I imagine you'll feel a bit queer
00:19:09 when you change sides, won't you?
00:19:12 - Not a bit.
00:19:13 - It feels very queer to me.
00:19:16 - Who are you?
00:19:17 - I think you ought to tell me who you are first.
00:19:22 - Why?
00:19:24 - Hey, hey, hey, come back.
00:19:27 I have something important to say.
00:19:34 - Yes?
00:19:40 - Keep your temper.
00:19:45 - Is that all?
00:19:46 - No.
00:19:49 (footsteps)
00:19:52 - So, you're thinking of changing, are you?
00:20:09 - I'm afraid I am.
00:20:12 You see, I can't remember things I used to,
00:20:14 and I can't stay the same size for more than
00:20:16 10 minutes together.
00:20:19 - What sort of things?
00:20:21 - Well, I've tried to say how doth a little busy be,
00:20:24 but it came out all different.
00:20:26 - Very well.
00:20:28 Repeat, you are old Father William.
00:20:32 - You are old Father William, the young man said,
00:20:39 and your hair's become very white,
00:20:42 and yet you incessantly stand on your head.
00:20:45 Do you think at your age it is right?
00:20:49 In my youth, said the sage, as he shook his gray locks.
00:20:52 - Um.
00:20:53 Um.
00:20:56 - In my youth, said the sage, as he shook his gray locks,
00:21:01 I kept all my limbs very supple.
00:21:04 By the use of this ointment,
00:21:12 one shilling the box allow me to sell you a couple.
00:21:17 You are old, said the youth, and your jaws are too weak
00:21:20 for anything tougher than, than sewage.
00:21:24 Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
00:21:33 Be off, or I'll kick you downstairs.
00:21:40 That's not quite right.
00:21:42 - I'm afraid some of the words seem to have got altered.
00:21:46 - Oh, is it wrong from beginning to end?
00:21:50 What size do you want to be?
00:21:55 - I'm not particular as to size,
00:21:57 it's just that one doesn't like changing so often, you know.
00:21:59 - No, I don't know.
00:22:01 Are you happy now?
00:22:04 - Well, I'd like to be a little larger.
00:22:06 - Hmm.
00:22:08 This seems a very nice size to me.
00:22:11 - But I'm not used to it.
00:22:13 - Hmm.
00:22:14 You'll get used to it in time.
00:22:18 (men screaming)
00:22:24 - You'll never make them people hear, you see,
00:22:33 'cause they're like they're making too much noise themselves.
00:22:36 And you follow the meat, not you can hear 'em.
00:22:39 - Well, how am I to get in then?
00:22:42 (snoring)
00:22:44 - Oh, excuse me a moment.
00:22:58 Something seems to be cropping up in this area over here.
00:23:02 - A invitation from the Queen,
00:23:04 but I'd just as well play croquet.
00:23:07 - This one, isn't it?
00:23:12 Yes, right.
00:23:17 Thank you.
00:23:18 Just sink quietly out of sight for me.
00:23:24 Yes.
00:23:31 Now then, I'll tell you what I'll do.
00:23:34 I'll tell you what I'll do for you.
00:23:37 Nothing.
00:23:39 How's that, any good to you at all, nothing?
00:23:41 I mean, I wouldn't be able to do it straight away,
00:23:43 I'll say that, you see.
00:23:44 I couldn't possibly do it straight away
00:23:46 'cause I got all these things cropping up, you see.
00:23:48 I have to deal with, well, I mean,
00:23:50 you saw just now, something cropped up there, you see.
00:23:54 And I'll get, that's the same type of thing
00:23:56 I get cropping up all the time, you see.
00:23:58 So naturally, I got my hands full,
00:24:00 but if I was to do nothing for you,
00:24:03 I can't promise I could,
00:24:04 but if I was to do nothing for you,
00:24:06 I'd have to sort of find a time, you see,
00:24:08 when I could squeeze it in, you see what I mean?
00:24:11 - I think you're absolutely idiotic.
00:24:13 - Mm, mm, well, maybe I am, maybe I'm not.
00:24:16 (baby laughing)
00:24:26 (baby cooing)
00:24:28 - Why does your cat look like that?
00:24:44 - It's a Cheshire cat, that's why.
00:24:47 Pig. (laughing)
00:24:50 - I didn't know that Cheshire cats looked like that.
00:24:52 - All of them can and most of them do.
00:24:55 - I don't know that any of them do.
00:24:56 - Oh, you don't know much, that's a fact.
00:24:59 (gasping)
00:25:02 (sneezing)
00:25:05 Here we go, here we go.
00:25:16 (sneezing)
00:25:17 - Mind the baby.
00:25:19 - Everybody minds their own business.
00:25:22 The world will turn a grander and faster than it does.
00:25:26 - That wouldn't be a great advantage.
00:25:29 The world turns on its axis every 24 hours.
00:25:33 - Oh, don't bother me, I never could abide figures,
00:25:37 could I?
00:25:38 Speak loudly to your little boy and beat him when he sneezes.
00:25:45 He only does it to annoy because he knows he's sneezing.
00:25:49 (baby crying)
00:25:51 Now, I speak severely to my boy and beat him
00:25:55 when he sneezes, for he can thoroughly enjoy the temper
00:26:01 when he sneezes.
00:26:02 He only does it to annoy because he knows he's sneezing.
00:26:06 (baby crying)
00:26:09 I speak severely to my boy and beat him when he sneezes,
00:26:21 for he could thoroughly enjoy the pepper if he pleases.
00:26:25 - Yes, yes, yes.
00:26:28 - Yeah, as you forbid.
00:26:32 (baby crying)
00:26:50 - Which way would I go from here?
00:26:53 - That depends a great deal on where you want to go to.
00:26:57 - I don't much care where.
00:27:00 - Then it doesn't matter which way you go.
00:27:03 - So long as I get somewhere.
00:27:05 - Oh, you're sure to do that if you only walk long enough.
00:27:09 - What sort of people live about here?
00:27:15 - In that direction is the Hatter
00:27:17 and in that direction is the Marger.
00:27:20 They're both mad.
00:27:22 - But I don't want to go among mad people.
00:27:25 - Oh, you can't help that.
00:27:26 We're all mad here.
00:27:28 I'm mad, you're mad.
00:27:30 By the by, what became of the baby?
00:27:37 I'd nearly forgotten to ask.
00:27:40 - It turned into a pig.
00:27:42 - I thought it would.
00:27:44 - Did you say pig or fig?
00:27:46 - I said pig.
00:27:48 (somber music)
00:27:51 (dog whining)
00:27:53 - No room.
00:28:20 - No room.
00:28:21 - No room, no room.
00:28:23 - There's no room.
00:28:24 - No room.
00:28:25 - No room.
00:28:26 - No room, no, no, no room, no room.
00:28:28 - No room.
00:28:29 - No room.
00:28:30 - No room.
00:28:31 - No room.
00:28:32 - There's no room.
00:28:33 - There's plenty of room.
00:28:36 - Have some wine.
00:28:38 - I don't see any wine.
00:28:39 - There isn't any.
00:28:40 - It wasn't very civil of you to offer it.
00:28:42 - It wasn't very civil of you to sit down
00:28:44 before you were invited.
00:28:46 - I thought you did invite me.
00:28:48 Anyway, the table's laid for a great deal more
00:28:50 than three.
00:28:51 - Ah, your, um, your, uh, your hair, uh, once cutting.
00:28:55 - You shouldn't make personal remarks, it's very rude.
00:28:59 - Oh, why is a raven like a writing desk, I wonder?
00:29:03 - Oh, I'm glad you've begun asking riddles.
00:29:06 I think I can guess that one.
00:29:08 - Do you mean that you can find the answer to it?
00:29:11 - Exactly.
00:29:12 - Then you should say what you mean.
00:29:14 - I do, at least I mean what I say.
00:29:17 It's the same thing, you know.
00:29:19 - It isn't the same thing a bit.
00:29:20 You might as well say that I, uh, I see what I eat
00:29:23 is the same thing as I eat what I see.
00:29:26 - You might just as well say that I like what I get
00:29:28 is the same thing as I get what I like.
00:29:31 - Yeah, that's...
00:29:33 - You might as well say that I sleep when I breathe
00:29:37 is the same thing as I breathe when I sleep.
00:29:43 - Oh, it is the same thing with you.
00:29:47 (laughing)
00:29:49 (gentle music)
00:29:52 - Oh.
00:30:15 - What day of the month is it?
00:30:17 - I think it's the fourth.
00:30:19 - Oh.
00:30:20 Two days wrong.
00:30:22 I knew that butter wouldn't be good for the works.
00:30:25 - It was the best butter?
00:30:27 - Yes, but we must have got some crumbs in with it
00:30:29 or something.
00:30:30 I told you not to use the bread knife.
00:30:32 - It was the best butter?
00:30:35 - That's as may be.
00:30:37 - Curious watch.
00:30:38 It tells the day of the month and not what time it is.
00:30:41 - Of course it does, child.
00:30:43 Does your watch tell you what year it is?
00:30:46 - Of course not.
00:30:47 That's because it's the same year for so long together.
00:30:49 - Exactly.
00:30:50 Well, it's just the same with my watch.
00:30:52 Oh, when Adam and Eve were first deprived of the garden
00:30:56 heard by...
00:30:57 (yawns)
00:30:59 Oh, the doll mouse is falling asleep again.
00:31:02 Have you guessed the riddle yet?
00:31:04 - No, I give up.
00:31:05 What is the answer?
00:31:06 - I haven't the slightest idea.
00:31:08 (laughing)
00:31:11 - Well, I think you might do something better
00:31:13 with your time than waste it
00:31:14 asking riddles that have no answers.
00:31:16 - If you knew time as well as I do
00:31:18 you wouldn't talk about it.
00:31:20 It's him.
00:31:21 - I don't know what you mean.
00:31:22 - Of course you don't, I dare say.
00:31:24 You've never even spoken to time.
00:31:27 - Perhaps not, but I now have to beat time
00:31:29 and I learn music.
00:31:30 (yells)
00:31:32 - Oh, that accounts for it.
00:31:39 He can't stand beating.
00:31:41 - But if you keep on good terms with time
00:31:43 he'll do anything with a clock that you want.
00:31:45 For example, supposing it's half past nine in the morning
00:31:49 you just whisper a hint to time
00:31:50 round goes the clock and it's half past one in the afternoon
00:31:54 time for dinner.
00:31:55 - I only wish it were.
00:31:58 - Yes, it might be rather nice
00:31:59 but then I wouldn't be hungry for it, you know.
00:32:01 - Not at first, perhaps, but you could keep it at half past one
00:32:04 for as long as you like.
00:32:06 - Is that the way you manage?
00:32:07 - Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:32:09 We quarreled last March.
00:32:10 Just before he went mad, you know.
00:32:13 It was at a concert given by the Queen of Hearts.
00:32:16 I had to sing that song.
00:32:18 ♪ Twinkle, twinkle, little bat ♪
00:32:22 ♪ How I wonder what you're at ♪
00:32:25 You're familiar with it, doubtless.
00:32:27 - I've heard something like it.
00:32:29 ♪ Yes, it goes on up above the world you fly ♪
00:32:33 ♪ Like a tea tray in the sky ♪
00:32:37 ♪ Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle ♪
00:32:41 - Oh, well, I'd hardly finish the first verse
00:32:45 when the Queen jumps up and balls out
00:32:48 he's murdering the time off with his head.
00:32:52 - I dread to be savage.
00:32:53 - Oh, yes, yes, yes.
00:32:56 Ha, ha, and ever since then, time won't do a thing for me.
00:33:00 It's always six o'clock now.
00:33:03 - Is that the reason why so many tea things are put out here?
00:33:06 - Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:33:08 It's always, it's always tea time.
00:33:11 And of course, we don't get much time
00:33:14 to wash the things up between wiles.
00:33:17 - So you keep moving around, I suppose.
00:33:19 - We keep, we keep moving around, yes, yes, yes.
00:33:23 As the things get used up.
00:33:25 - What happens when you get back to the beginning?
00:33:27 - Oh, whoa.
00:33:28 - Suppose we change the subject.
00:33:30 I'm getting dreadfully bored by this.
00:33:33 - I've heard the young lady tells us a story.
00:33:36 - I'm afraid I don't know one.
00:33:40 - Then the door mouse will.
00:33:42 - Ha, ha, ha.
00:33:45 - I wasn't asleep.
00:33:48 I heard every word you fellows were saying.
00:33:51 - Tell us a story.
00:33:52 - You better get on with it,
00:33:53 otherwise you'll fall asleep again before you're done.
00:33:56 - Ha, ha, ha.
00:33:59 - Once upon a time, there were three little sisters.
00:34:04 - Oh, yes.
00:34:05 - They were named Elsie,
00:34:08 Letia, and Tully.
00:34:11 - Ha, ha, ha.
00:34:13 - And they lived at the bottom of a well.
00:34:16 - What did they live on?
00:34:18 - Oh.
00:34:20 - They lived on treacle.
00:34:28 - They couldn't have done that, you know.
00:34:30 They'd have been ill.
00:34:31 - Very well.
00:34:33 Very, very ill.
00:34:35 - But why did they live at the bottom of a well?
00:34:38 - Oh.
00:34:40 Take some more tea.
00:34:42 - I've had nothing yet, so I can't take more.
00:34:44 - What you mean is you can't take less.
00:34:46 It's very easy to take more than nothing.
00:34:48 - Nobody asked your opinion.
00:34:50 - Oh, now who's making personal remarks, eh?
00:34:54 - Ha, ha, ha.
00:34:59 - Why did they live at the bottom of a well?
00:35:03 - Oh.
00:35:04 It was a treacle well.
00:35:06 - There's no such thing.
00:35:10 - If you cannot be civil, you tell the story yourself.
00:35:14 - I won't interrupt again.
00:35:16 I daresay there may be one.
00:35:18 - Oh, indeed?
00:35:23 - Well, the three little sisters,
00:35:27 they're all learning to draw, you know.
00:35:31 - What do they draw?
00:35:33 - Treacle.
00:35:35 - Oh.
00:35:37 - I don't understand.
00:35:48 Where do they draw the treacle from?
00:35:49 - You draw water from a water well.
00:35:51 - Well, you draw a treacle from a treacle well, eh, stupid?
00:35:54 - Oh, they were in the well.
00:35:58 - Well in.
00:36:00 - Oh.
00:36:02 - Then they learned to draw.
00:36:16 And they always drew something beginning with an M.
00:36:22 - Why an M?
00:36:23 - Why not?
00:36:25 - Everything beginning with an M.
00:36:42 Such as mousetrap, money, memory, and muchness.
00:36:53 I bet you never saw anything like the drawing of a muchness.
00:36:58 - Really? No, you said. I don't--
00:37:00 - Then you shouldn't talk.
00:37:10 - This is the stupidest tea party I was ever at.
00:37:13 - Why are you painting those roses?
00:37:18 Why are you painting those roses?
00:37:22 - What's that? What's that?
00:37:25 Will you hold that book steady?
00:37:27 I can't see the paint.
00:37:29 - What are you doing it for?
00:37:31 - Doing it for?
00:37:33 - Yes.
00:37:34 - Yes. Yes.
00:37:36 What am I doing it for?
00:37:38 - Yes, well, that is the question, isn't it?
00:37:41 Ah.
00:37:42 There you see. It's no good.
00:37:45 It's all a problem of colour, you see.
00:37:47 The problem of these being coloured white when red was what was asked for.
00:37:53 - Who's to know?
00:37:55 - Oh, yes, that's good.
00:37:57 Yes, I like that.
00:37:59 Yes, who's to know? The Queen, that's who.
00:38:02 The Queen doesn't miss a trick.
00:38:04 - Doesn't look much like a red rose to me.
00:38:06 - Ah, well, perhaps you'd like to have a go yourself, then?
00:38:10 - Yes, perhaps you'd like to have a go yourself.
00:38:12 - I think we can do without any help from you, you know.
00:38:14 Thank you very much.
00:38:16 Look!
00:38:18 It's the Queen!
00:38:22 Give me some more carmine.
00:38:24 And...
00:38:25 ...some white.
00:38:27 [Drums and horns continue]
00:38:31 [Drums and horns continue]
00:38:35 [Drums and horns continue]
00:38:39 [Drums and horns continue]
00:38:44 [Drums and horns continue]
00:38:48 [Drums and horns continue]
00:39:09 [Drums and horns continue]
00:39:13 [Drums and horns continue]
00:39:28 [Drums and horns continue]
00:39:32 Ah, yes! And who's this?
00:39:43 - Yes, who is this?
00:39:45 - Oh, perhaps I shouldn't ask.
00:39:46 [Mimics drum]
00:39:48 - Idiot! Absolute idiot!
00:39:51 - You've got an absolute idiot for a son!
00:39:53 - Yes, but he's tall, he's very tall.
00:39:55 - Come along, child, speak up. What's your name?
00:39:57 - My name is Alice.
00:39:59 - Ah.
00:40:00 And who are these?
00:40:05 Oh, perhaps I shouldn't ask.
00:40:07 - How should I know? It's no business of mine.
00:40:09 - You little hussy! Off with her head! Nonsense!
00:40:12 [Mimics drum]
00:40:14 - Ah, yes!
00:40:16 - Now, what have you been doing here?
00:40:18 Oh, perhaps I shouldn't ask.
00:40:20 Or perhaps I should.
00:40:22 - Painting white roses red, hm?
00:40:25 Perhaps you have an explanation?
00:40:27 - Well, ma'am, it's my way of rectifying a mistake.
00:40:31 What I've always said is,
00:40:33 what the eye don't see, the heart don't grieve over.
00:40:37 - I think that's for me to judge.
00:40:39 Off with her heads.
00:40:41 - It's a very fine day.
00:40:45 - Very. Where's the Duchess?
00:40:47 - She's under sentence of execution.
00:40:49 - What for?
00:40:50 - She boxed the Queen's ears, whoops.
00:40:51 - All right! Get to your places!
00:40:54 [Drumming]
00:40:57 - You heard what she said.
00:40:59 [Drumming]
00:41:03 [Drumming]
00:41:09 [Singing]
00:41:12 [Drumming]
00:41:22 [Drumming]
00:41:32 [Singing]
00:41:42 [Drumming]
00:41:52 [Drumming]
00:42:02 [Singing]
00:42:22 [Drumming]
00:42:42 [Singing]
00:42:52 [Drumming]
00:43:02 [Singing]
00:43:12 [Birds chirping]
00:43:31 [Drumming]
00:43:43 [Drumming]
00:43:53 [Drumming]
00:44:03 [Drumming]
00:44:13 [Drumming]
00:44:23 [Drumming]
00:44:33 [Drumming]
00:44:43 [Drumming]
00:44:53 [Drumming]
00:45:03 [Drumming]
00:45:13 [Drumming]
00:45:23 [Drumming]
00:45:33 [Drumming]
00:45:43 [Drumming]
00:45:53 [Drumming]
00:46:13 - How are you getting on?
00:46:15 - I don't think they play at all, fairly.
00:46:17 - How do you like the Queen?
00:46:19 - Not at all.
00:46:22 - Who are you talking to?
00:46:24 - A friend of mine.
00:46:26 - I don't like the look of it at all.
00:46:28 - A cat may look at a Queen.
00:46:30 - Cats are allowed to do that.
00:46:32 - It must be removed.
00:46:34 - Executioner, about that cat.
00:46:36 I want his head taken off. Right off.
00:46:39 - Yeah, well you've got a problem there, haven't you?
00:46:42 I mean, with regard to cutting off a head,
00:46:44 you've got a real problem,
00:46:46 and this is a body to cut it off from.
00:46:48 I mean, you see what I mean.
00:46:50 - Don't talk nonsense.
00:46:52 Anything that has a head can be beheaded.
00:46:55 Anyway, who does it belong to?
00:46:57 - It belongs to the Duchess, and you'd better ask her about it.
00:47:00 [Chuckles]
00:47:02 [Music]
00:47:18 - Oh! You can't think how glad I am to see you here,
00:47:22 you dear old thing.
00:47:24 You're thinking about something, and that makes you forget to talk.
00:47:30 I can't remember the moral of that,
00:47:32 but I shall remember it in a moment.
00:47:34 - Perhaps it hasn't got a moral.
00:47:36 - Tut-tut! My dear child, everything's got a moral.
00:47:40 If only you can find it.
00:47:42 - The game seems to be coming on much better now.
00:47:44 - Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
00:47:47 And the moral of it is, 'tis love, 'tis love,
00:47:50 makes the world go round.
00:47:53 - I thought it was done by everybody minding their own business.
00:47:56 - Oh, well, yes.
00:47:58 Well, it means much the same thing.
00:48:01 And the moral of that is, take care of the sense,
00:48:04 and the sounds will take care of themselves.
00:48:07 - I'm still only fond of finding morals.
00:48:09 - I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your waist.
00:48:12 Well, the reason is, I'm doubtful of the temper of your flamingo.
00:48:17 - I haven't got a flamingo any more.
00:48:19 - Ah, true, ah, true. Flamingos and mustard, both right.
00:48:24 And the moral of that is, birds of a feather flock together.
00:48:29 - But mustard isn't a bird.
00:48:31 - Right, as usual.
00:48:33 You do have a nice, clear way of putting things.
00:48:37 - It's a mineral, I think.
00:48:39 - Yes, of course it is. There's a rather large mustard mine quite near here.
00:48:44 And the moral of it is, the more there is a man, the less there is a yawn.
00:48:50 - I know it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is.
00:48:53 - I quite agree with you.
00:48:55 And the moral of that is, be what you would seem to be,
00:48:59 or if you would like it put more simply.
00:49:01 Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise,
00:49:04 than what it would appear to others,
00:49:06 that what you were, what you might be, is not otherwise,
00:49:11 than what you have been.
00:49:13 - I think I'd understand that a bit better if I had it written down,
00:49:16 but I'm afraid I can't quite follow it as you say it.
00:49:19 - Oh, I could say much better than that if I choose.
00:49:24 - Please don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that.
00:49:27 - Don't talk about trouble. I make you a present of everything I've said as yet.
00:49:31 - Cheap sort of present, I must say.
00:49:34 - Thinking again? - I've a right to think.
00:49:37 - About as much right as pigs have to fly.
00:49:40 And the moral...
00:49:42 - Either you or your head must be off in the next five minutes.
00:49:50 Take your choice.
00:49:52 (birds chirping)
00:49:55 - Should be the death of me.
00:50:11 Come on, let's get on with the game.
00:50:14 (dramatic music)
00:50:19 (birds chirping)
00:50:22 - Well, here we are.
00:50:32 - What's happened to them?
00:50:34 - They're going to be executed. - What do you mean?
00:50:37 - They're going to have their heads taken off.
00:50:39 - What, all of them? - Yes, the whole lot.
00:50:42 There's no point in spoiling the ship for a heap of tar.
00:50:46 - Have you seen the mock turtle? - No, who's that?
00:50:49 - Well, you better ask the griffon about that.
00:50:51 He'll be able to let you know.
00:50:54 - That's just her fantasy.
00:50:59 She never executes anyone.
00:51:01 Ah, there he is.
00:51:04 - What's he so sad about? - That's just his fantasy.
00:51:08 He's got nothing to be sad about, really.
00:51:12 (birds chirping)
00:51:15 - This young lady wants to hear your life history.
00:51:25 - All right, I'll tell it to her.
00:51:30 And don't speak a word till I finish.
00:51:33 (birds chirping)
00:51:37 (birds chirping)
00:51:40 - But how can he finish if he doesn't begin?
00:51:50 - Shh, he's got to get into the mood.
00:51:54 (birds chirping)
00:51:58 (leaves rustling)
00:52:01 - When we were little, we all went to school in the sea.
00:52:10 The master was an old turtle.
00:52:13 We used to call him Tortoise.
00:52:16 - Why did you call him Tortoise if he wasn't one?
00:52:18 - We called him Tortoise because he taught us.
00:52:20 Really, you are very dull.
00:52:22 - Shame to be asking such simple questions there.
00:52:25 We had the best of educations.
00:52:27 In fact, we went to school every day.
00:52:30 - I've been to a day school too.
00:52:31 It's nothing to be so proud about.
00:52:33 - With extras?
00:52:34 - Yes, we learned French and music.
00:52:36 - And washing?
00:52:38 - Certainly not.
00:52:39 - Aha, well then yours wasn't really a good school.
00:52:43 At our school, we always had at the end of the bill,
00:52:47 music, French, and washing, extra.
00:52:51 (birds chirping)
00:52:53 But I couldn't afford to learn it.
00:52:55 I only took the regular course.
00:52:57 - What was that?
00:52:58 - Well, reeling and riding, of course, to begin with,
00:53:00 and then there were the different branches of arithmetic,
00:53:03 ambition, distraction, uglification, and derision.
00:53:08 - I never heard of uglification before.
00:53:10 - Never heard of uglifying?
00:53:13 You've heard of beautifying, I suppose?
00:53:15 - Yes.
00:53:16 - Need I say more?
00:53:18 Then there was mystery, ancient and modern,
00:53:22 and then drawing.
00:53:24 That was with the drawing master.
00:53:26 He used to come once a week.
00:53:28 He taught us drawing, stretching, and fainting in coils.
00:53:34 - What was that like?
00:53:36 - I couldn't possibly show you myself.
00:53:38 I'm much too stiff.
00:53:39 And he never learned it.
00:53:41 - I never had time.
00:53:43 But I went to the classical master.
00:53:45 - Hmm, I never went to him.
00:53:48 He taught laughing and grief,
00:53:51 so they said.
00:53:53 - So he did.
00:53:55 So he did.
00:53:57 - How many hours a day did you do lessons?
00:54:08 - Ten hours the first day, nine the second, and so on.
00:54:12 - How odd.
00:54:13 - Not odd at all.
00:54:14 That's why they're called lessons,
00:54:16 because they lessen from day to day.
00:54:19 - Then the eleventh day must have been a holiday.
00:54:22 - So it was.
00:54:24 So it was.
00:54:26 - But then how did you manage on the twelfth day?
00:54:29 - Oh, that's enough about lessons.
00:54:32 Tell her about the games.
00:54:35 - Have you ever done the lobster quadrille?
00:54:38 - No.
00:54:39 What sort of a dance is that?
00:54:41 - Well, first you form a line along the seashore.
00:54:44 - No, two lines.
00:54:45 Then, after you clear the jellyfish out of the way...
00:54:48 - Which generally takes some time.
00:54:49 - You advance twice.
00:54:50 - Each with a lobster as a partner.
00:54:52 - You advance twice.
00:54:54 - Set to partners.
00:54:55 - Change lobsters and retire in the same order.
00:54:58 - Must be a very pretty dance.
00:55:02 - Would you like to hear some of it?
00:55:04 - Very much indeed.
00:55:06 - Well, who'll sing?
00:55:07 - Oh, you sing it.
00:55:08 I can't remember the words.
00:55:11 - Will you walk a little faster,
00:55:14 said the whiting to the snail?
00:55:17 There's a porpoise close behind me
00:55:19 and he's treading on my tail.
00:55:22 See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance.
00:55:26 They are waiting on the shingle.
00:55:27 Won't you come and join the dance?
00:55:30 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you,
00:55:31 will you join the dance?
00:55:34 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you,
00:55:36 won't you join the dance?
00:55:40 You can really have no notion
00:55:43 how delightful it will be
00:55:45 when they take us up and throw us with the lobsters out to sea.
00:55:49 But the snail replied,
00:55:51 "Too far, too far,"
00:55:54 and gave a look askance,
00:55:55 said he thanked the whiting kindly,
00:55:58 but he would not join the dance.
00:56:00 Would not, could not, could not, would not,
00:56:02 could not join the dance.
00:56:05 Could not, would not, could not, would not,
00:56:09 would not join the dance.
00:56:14 [seagulls squawking]
00:56:24 The trial's beginning.
00:56:27 The trial's beginning.
00:56:30 [choir singing]
00:56:34 [choir singing]
00:56:38 [choir singing]
00:56:41 [choir singing]
00:56:45 [choir singing]
00:56:48 [choir singing]
00:56:51 [choir singing]
00:56:55 [choir singing]
00:56:59 [choir singing]
00:57:03 [choir singing]
00:57:07 [choir singing]
00:57:11 [choir singing]
00:57:16 [choir singing]
00:57:19 [choir singing]
00:57:23 [choir singing]
00:57:27 [choir singing]
00:57:31 [choir singing]
00:57:35 [choir singing]
00:57:39 [choir singing]
00:57:44 [choir singing]
00:57:47 [choir singing]
00:57:51 [choir singing]
00:57:55 [choir singing]
00:57:59 [choir singing]
00:58:03 [choir singing]
00:58:07 [choir singing]
00:58:12 [choir singing]
00:58:15 [choir singing]
00:58:19 [choir singing]
00:58:23 [choir singing]
00:58:27 [choir singing]
00:58:31 Who are they?
00:58:33 The jury.
00:58:34 What are they doing?
00:58:35 Taking down their names in case they forget them before the trial ends.
00:58:39 Stupid things.
00:58:42 [whimpering]
00:58:44 Silence in court!
00:58:47 Read the accusation.
00:58:50 The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts all on a summer's day.
00:58:53 The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts and took them quite away.
00:58:57 Consider your verdict.
00:58:59 Not yet, not yet. There's a great deal to do before that.
00:59:02 Is there? Oh, yes.
00:59:04 Well, um...
00:59:06 Call the first witness.
00:59:11 First witness!
00:59:13 [coughing]
00:59:15 Come on, come on.
00:59:33 [screaming]
00:59:38 Come on, come on.
00:59:40 [screaming]
00:59:46 I beg your pardon, Your Majesty, for bringing these along,
01:00:02 but I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.
01:00:07 You ought to have finished.
01:00:09 When did you begin?
01:00:11 Uh, the, uh...
01:00:13 Let me see. I think it was the, uh...
01:00:15 the 14th of March.
01:00:17 15th.
01:00:19 16th?
01:00:20 Yes.
01:00:21 The 16th, sir. Write that down.
01:00:24 And, uh, take off your hat.
01:00:27 I, um...
01:00:29 It, uh...
01:00:31 It's, um...
01:00:32 It isn't... It isn't mine.
01:00:34 It's, uh...
01:00:35 Stolen, is it?
01:00:37 No, no, no. I, uh...
01:00:39 I keep them to sell, Your Majesty.
01:00:41 You see, I'm a... I'm a hatter.
01:00:44 [laughing]
01:00:45 A very nervous hatter.
01:00:47 Yes, I am, yes.
01:00:49 Well, don't be nervous.
01:00:50 Don't be nervous. Just give your evidence,
01:00:53 or I shall have you executed.
01:00:55 You know, I'm...
01:00:57 I'm allowed to do that.
01:00:59 I can have anyone executed.
01:01:01 I have power, power.
01:01:03 Ah, um...
01:01:05 I'm a very poor man, Your Majesty,
01:01:08 and, uh, I haven't begun my tea,
01:01:11 and, well, not about a week or so,
01:01:13 and what with the bread and butter getting so thin
01:01:16 and the twinkling of the tea, I...
01:01:19 Twinkling of the what?
01:01:20 Uh, it began with the tea.
01:01:23 [laughing]
01:01:24 I know that.
01:01:25 I'm not a fool.
01:01:27 I know that twinkling begins with a tea.
01:01:29 Oh.
01:01:30 I mean, I'm a freak idiot, am I?
01:01:32 [clears throat]
01:01:33 You are not.
01:01:34 Like I said, Your Majesty, I'm a...
01:01:36 I'm a poor man, and most things twinkled after that.
01:01:41 I didn't.
01:01:42 You did.
01:01:43 I didn't. I deny it.
01:01:45 He denies it.
01:01:46 Leave out that part.
01:01:48 [laughing]
01:01:49 After that, I, uh...
01:01:51 I, uh, I cut some bread and butter, and...
01:01:54 After that, what happened?
01:01:56 Oh, that, uh...
01:01:57 That I... That I can't remember.
01:01:59 Yes, yes, well, you must remember it,
01:02:01 or I'll have to have you executed.
01:02:03 I'm a... I'm a poor man, Your Majesty.
01:02:06 You are a jolly poor speaker, that's for sure.
01:02:10 Get down, sit down, and stand.
01:02:12 Go away.
01:02:13 [laughing]
01:02:14 Thank you.
01:02:16 God bless you, Your Majesty.
01:02:18 [laughing]
01:02:24 [chattering]
01:02:30 Next witness.
01:02:32 Give your evidence.
01:02:43 Shant.
01:02:44 Oh, well, uh...
01:02:48 That's the end of that, then.
01:02:50 Ha!
01:02:51 Your Majesty must cross-examine this witness.
01:02:55 Must I?
01:02:56 Yes.
01:02:57 Oh.
01:02:59 [chattering]
01:03:05 Thank you.
01:03:06 What a touch!
01:03:11 Medo!
01:03:13 Pepper, mostly.
01:03:14 [sighing]
01:03:15 Anything you want to add to that?
01:03:18 Yes, go away.
01:03:20 Go away with the pepper.
01:03:22 Oh.
01:03:25 Next witness.
01:03:26 Oh, don't let's have another witness.
01:03:30 Let's have a...
01:03:32 Let's have a song.
01:03:35 Come on, lads, give us a melody.
01:03:37 Come along.
01:03:38 Have a look.
01:03:39 [singing]
01:03:45 [singing]
01:03:53 [singing]
01:04:01 [singing]
01:04:09 [singing]
01:04:15 Ah.
01:04:16 They don't reach verdicts like that anymore.
01:04:19 Yeah.
01:04:20 Okay.
01:04:21 Right.
01:04:23 Next witness.
01:04:25 Alice.
01:04:26 Ah.
01:04:29 What have you got to say for yourself?
01:04:32 Nothing.
01:04:33 Nothing?
01:04:34 Nothing whatever.
01:04:35 Oh, that's very important.
01:04:38 Unimportant, Your Majesty means, of course.
01:04:42 Oh.
01:04:43 Oh.
01:04:44 I thought I meant important.
01:04:47 That's what I thought I meant.
01:04:50 [singing]
01:05:00 [singing]
01:05:10 [singing]
01:05:20 [laughing]
01:05:22 Silence in court.
01:05:24 Silence in court.
01:05:27 All persons with more than a mile high to leave court.
01:05:34 I'm not a mile high.
01:05:36 Yes, you are.
01:05:37 Nearly two miles high.
01:05:42 Consider your silences.
01:05:45 Your remerses.
01:05:47 No, no, no, no.
01:05:48 There's more evidence to come yet.
01:05:50 This paper's just been picked up.
01:05:52 What's in it?
01:05:53 I haven't opened it yet.
01:05:55 But it seems to be a letter written by the prisoner to somebody.
01:05:58 It must be that.
01:06:00 I mean, it can't just be written to nobody.
01:06:03 I mean, you can't just write to nobody.
01:06:06 I mean, if you did that all the time,
01:06:08 well, I would hear the post office would come to a standstill.
01:06:12 I mean, you've got to have somebody.
01:06:14 I mean, it works.
01:06:15 It works.
01:06:17 Well, it's not allowed.
01:06:19 Who's it directed to?
01:06:21 It isn't directed at all.
01:06:23 In fact, there's nothing written on the outside.
01:06:27 It isn't a letter at all.
01:06:29 It's a set of verses.
01:06:32 Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?
01:06:34 No, they're not.
01:06:35 And that's the queerest thing about it.
01:06:38 He's been imitating people's hands and writings again.
01:06:44 Please, Your Majesty.
01:06:47 I didn't write it.
01:06:51 Well, I can prove that I didn't.
01:06:56 There's no name signed at the end.
01:07:00 Well, that only makes the matter worse.
01:07:02 You must have meant some mischief
01:07:04 before else you would have signed your name like an honest man.
01:07:08 That proves his guilt.
01:07:10 It proves nothing of the sort.
01:07:12 Hold your tongue.
01:07:13 I won't.
01:07:14 [chanting]
01:07:34 [birds chirping]
01:08:03 It is not now as it hath been of yore.
01:08:06 Turn where so e'er I may, by night or day,
01:08:10 The things which I have seen, I now can see no more.
01:08:15 [birds chirping]
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