• 8 months ago
SNL: Scarlett Johansson hilariously mock Katie Britt’s weird State of the Union rebuttalSource: Saturday Night Live - SNL, NBC

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News
Transcript
00:00 - Good evening, America.
00:01 My name is Katie Britt,
00:04 and I have the honor of serving the great people of Alabama.
00:09 But tonight, I'll be auditioning for the part of Scary Mom.
00:15 (audience laughing)
00:17 And I'll be performing an original monologue
00:19 called "This Country is Hell."
00:22 You see, I'm not just a senator.
00:24 I'm a wife, a mother,
00:27 and the craziest (beep) in the Target parking lot.
00:30 (audience laughing)
00:32 I'm worried about the future of our children,
00:35 and this is why I've invited you
00:37 into this strange, empty kitchen.
00:41 Because Republicans wanted me to appeal to woman voters,
00:46 and women love kitchen.
00:48 (audience laughing)
00:49 But seriously, my husband Wesley and I
00:53 just watched President Biden's speech,
00:56 and what I saw was the performance
00:59 of a permanent politician.
01:01 But me, I'm not performing.
01:04 I'm not, I'm not.
01:06 (audience laughing)
01:09 But first and foremost, I'm a mom.
01:13 And like any mom, I'm going to do a pivot out of nowhere
01:16 into a shockingly violent story about sex trafficking.
01:21 (audience laughing)
01:22 And rest assured, every detail about it is real,
01:25 except the year, where it took place,
01:29 and who was president when it happened.
01:31 (audience laughing)
01:32 And tonight, I am not just responding
01:35 to the state of the union.
01:37 I am also selling these gorgeous,
01:39 bejeweled cross necklaces for you to wear.
01:41 (audience applauding)
01:43 This affinity diamond necklace goes with anything,
01:45 and you can wear it from da church to da club.
01:48 (audience laughing)
01:50 And now I'm gonna get weirdly seductive
01:52 for no apparent reason.
01:54 (audience laughing)
01:56 As I was saying.
01:57 (audience laughing)
01:58 The American dream has turned into a nightmare.
02:03 (audience laughing)
02:05 You know, my husband Wesley and I spend a lot of time
02:09 in this kitchen worrying.
02:12 Kitchens are where families have the hard conversations.
02:17 Like the one we'll have tomorrow
02:20 about how mommy freaked out the entire country.
02:24 (audience laughing)
02:25 But y'all, Biden's the one who is destroying our country.
02:30 Just ask yourself,
02:32 are you better off today than you were four years ago?
02:36 Back in the good old days of 2020,
02:39 the year that nothing bad happened?
02:42 (audience laughing)
02:43 ♪ And it can be that way again ♪
02:45 Oh my God, I guess I can sing.
02:48 That's so great.
02:51 But our country is not.
02:54 (audience laughing)
02:55 It's like I tell my kids every night,
02:57 we are steeped in the blood of patriots
03:00 in a castle made of bones.
03:03 Good night, kids.
03:04 (laughing)
03:05 And speaking of tea, my tea is ready.
03:09 (audience laughing)
03:20 But to the American people who are struggling right now,
03:24 know this, we hear you.
03:28 We see you.
03:31 We smell you.
03:33 (audience laughing)
03:34 We're inside your kitchen right now,
03:37 looking through your fridge.
03:40 And what's that on the top shelf?
03:43 Migrants.
03:44 (audience laughing)
03:46 I think that analogy went well.
03:48 (laughing)
03:49 In conclusion, to the President of the United States,
03:53 I'll just say this, Mr. Biden,
03:57 this isn't the last you'll see of Katie Britt.
04:01 Maybe not in politics, but when you close your eyes,
04:05 I'll be right there.

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