Get ready to laugh as we dive into the most iconic and hilarious moments from Saturday Night Live's incredible 50-year run! From legendary characters to unforgettable sketches, we're counting down the comedy that defined generations and made us cry with laughter.
Category
🗞
NewsTranscript
00:00And now we're gonna catch all of you little fuckers.
00:02You got that?
00:03Okay.
00:04Okay, but I will tell you this.
00:05Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!
00:06Saturday Night!
00:07Saturday Night!
00:30Mr. Trouble never hangs around, when he hears this mighty sound.
00:57Here I come to save the day, I think it's time he got, his own way!
01:09Who is it?
01:10Plumber.
01:11Plumber?
01:12I didn't ask for a plumber.
01:13Who is it?
01:14Telegram.
01:15Oh, Telegram, just a moment.
01:16Oh, Telegram, just a moment.
01:23Good evening, and welcome to Not For Ladies Only.
01:30I'm Barbara Wawa, and tonight we'll be talking to an actual living legend,
01:37the incredible Marwina Deutschwand.
01:40Thank you. It is great to be here.
01:44Marwina, what is it like to be a living legend?
01:48Marwina Deutschwand
02:09Greetings.
02:18Hi, I'm Beldar. This is Primate and Connie.
02:21I trust we have arrived at the pre-designated time coordinates.
02:25Well, actually, you're a bit early, but that's okay.
02:28Look, come on in and sit down.
02:30A Mr. Richard Fader from Fort Lane, New Jersey writes in and says,
02:34Dear Rosanna, Rosanna Danner,
02:37Last Thursday I quit smoking.
02:40Now I'm depressed, I can't wait, my face broke out, I'm nauseous, I'm constipated,
02:45my feet swell, my gums are bleeding, my sinuses are clogged, I got heartburn, I'm cranky, and I have gas.
02:52What should I do?
02:55Mr. Fader, you sound like a real attractive guy.
03:01There's no other pair of Czech brothers who cruise and swing so successfully in tight slacks.
03:09We are two wild and crazy guys!
03:16Dan, there's an old saying.
03:18Behind every successful man there's a woman, a loving, giving, caring woman.
03:22But you wouldn't know about that.
03:24There's an old saying.
03:26Behind every successful man there's a woman, a loving, giving, caring woman.
03:29But you wouldn't know about that, Dan,
03:31because there's no old saying about what's behind a miserable failure.
03:42Jane, you ignorant slut.
03:48Come on, come on, come on, don't give me that.
03:50Come on, let's go, let's go, we gotta have fun.
03:52Hey, you want a cheeseburger? Come on.
03:54I don't want a cheeseburger, it's too early for a cheeseburger.
03:56Too early for a cheeseburger?
03:58Look! Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger...
04:08It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor.
04:13Would you be mine? Could you be mine?
04:17I've always wanted to live in a house like yours, my friend.
04:21Maybe when there's nobody home, I'll break in.
04:25It feels real good to walk streets again,
04:28after being in jail doing 7 to 10.
04:30Would you be mine?
04:31Won't you be mine?
04:32I wish you was my neighbor.
04:341, 2, 3, 4.
04:36Hot damn, hot damn, I'm full of water.
04:47I say hot damn, hot, I say very, very, very hot.
04:51I say hot damn.
04:52But talk is cheap.
04:54So I decided to look into the problem myself, firsthand.
04:58To go underground and actually experience America
05:02as a white man.
05:05There was only one other black man on the bus.
05:13He got off on 45th Street.
05:34There is just so much that we aren't told about Afghanistan
05:38and the UFOs or the fact,
05:42the fact that Hitler's brain is being kept alive in Paraguay.
05:51Well, isn't that special?
05:57Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you Aerosmith.
06:00Wave World!
06:18Oh, man, good job!
06:20Good job!
06:211, 2, 3, 4.
06:22Wave World! Wave World!
06:24It's not a job.
06:26It's excellent! Wave World!
06:29Sounds delicious.
06:31But is it really higher in fiber than my oat bran cereal?
06:34Take a guess.
06:35How many bowls of your oat bran cereal would it take
06:38to equal the fiber content of one bowl of Colon Blow?
06:422.
06:43Guess again.
06:443.
06:45A little higher.
06:474.
06:48Keep trying.
06:495.
06:50No, you'll have to do better than that.
06:537.
06:54Guess again.
06:568.
06:57We'll give you one more guess.
06:599.
07:00Not even close.
07:02It would take over 30,000 bowls.
07:06To eat that much oat bran,
07:08you'd have to eat 10 bowls a day, every day,
07:11for eight and a half years.
07:13Wow!
07:14I think I get the picture!
07:24See, I told you he could drive!
07:26Chances, look out!
07:37Welcome to Sprockets! I'm your host, Dieter.
07:40Then it is springtime,
07:42and like the blood-engorged gazelles at the Garmisch-Partenkirchen Zoo,
07:46I'm ready to rot.
07:49Speaking of which, would you like to touch my monkey?
07:52Touch him! Love him!
07:54Liebermann, I'm speaking!
07:56Touch him. It is safe, Klaus.
07:58Please touch, Klaus.
07:59Klaus. Klaus. Klaus.
08:04It took a while, but he is smitten with you, I can tell.
08:24Everybody needs a second chance
08:28Everybody's going off the deep end
08:33Everybody needs a second chance
08:38Oh, do you want a piece of my heart?
08:42My name is Matt Foley,
08:45and I am a motivational speaker.
08:50Now let's get started by letting me give you a little bit of a scenario
08:54of what my life is all about.
08:57First off, I am 35 years old,
09:01I am divorced,
09:03and I live in a van down by the river.
09:10Hanukkah is the festival of lights.
09:15Instead of one day of presents,
09:17we have eight crazy nights.
09:20But when you feel like the only kid in town
09:23without a Christmas tree,
09:26here's a list of people who are Jewish,
09:29just like you and me.
09:34David Lee Roth
09:36lights the menorah
09:39So do Kirk Douglas, James Caan,
09:41and the late Dinah Shurer.
09:43Guess who eats together
09:45at the Carnegie Deli?
09:48Bowser from Shanana
09:50and Arthur Fonzarelli
09:52Lunch Ladyland
10:01Will I wear this net on my head?
10:05Because my red hair is falling out.
10:11I'll wear these brown orthopedic shoes
10:14because I got a bad case of the gout.
10:19I know you want seconds on the corn dogs,
10:22but there's no reason to shout.
10:27Everybody gets enough food down here in the magical
10:32Lunch Ladyland
10:37The City Steakhouse serves the best beef in town.
10:41Their sensual setting will set the mood
10:44for any romantic rendezvous.
10:47Oh, hear that, hey?
10:51Give me cancer now, guy!
11:22Hey, hey!
11:27Please welcome the owner of Season's Eatings,
11:30Pete Schwette.
11:35Welcome. How are you?
11:36Welcome, Pete.
11:37We like the name of your store.
11:39I have to say, your balls are so tender.
11:42Well, there's no beating my balls.
11:46They're made from a secret Schwette family recipe.
11:50No one can resist my Schwette balls.
11:56Well, my feelings will be best expressed in a monologue
12:00from the made-for-TV movie Long Island Lolita,
12:03the Amy Fisher story.
12:05And in this monologue, I will be playing the part
12:07of the victimized yet resilient Miss Mary Jo Buttafuoco.
12:11I dare you to step on this porch again,
12:14because if you do, I will kick your slutty little ass
12:18across this town, you little howler!
12:21Go ahead, shoot me in the head again, I dare you.
12:24I dare you. I dare you!
12:26Because if I spot your fat little pig's face
12:28on my property again, I swear to God,
12:30I'll kick my two bare hands and I'll kill you!
12:33I'll kill you! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
12:37I'll kill you! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
12:40I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
12:42I'll kill you! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
12:46Hey, stop! Stop, Bruce.
12:48I'm sorry, could you come back in there, please?
12:50Fellas, no, we just wasted two good tracks.
12:55This last one was even better than the first.
12:58Well, it's just that I find Gene's cowbell playing distracted.
13:01I don't know, if I'm the only one, I'll shut up.
13:04Nah, that's pretty rough.
13:06You know, I can pull it back a little if you like.
13:08Not too much, though. I'm telling you, fellas.
13:11You're going to want that cowbell on the track.
13:14You know what? It's fine. Let's just do the thing.
13:16Okay. Roll it.
13:23Hold on.
13:34Hello?
13:36Yes? Really? Splendid.
13:42We're going to the Dolce & Gabbana show.
13:44How fast can you have your bags packed for Miroir?
13:50Well, I've got my Jack Spade bag packed already.
13:54Mom jeans fit mom just the way she likes it.
13:57She'll love the 9-inch zipper and casual front pleats.
14:02Cut generously to fit a mom's body.
14:05She'll want to wear them to everything from a soccer game to a night on the town.
14:11And with your choice of ankle length, capri length, or shorts,
14:14you'll find the perfect jean for even the least active of moms.
14:19So this Mother's Day, don't give mom that bottle of perfume.
14:22Give her something that says,
14:24I'm not a woman anymore. I'm a mom.
14:33I want to go to every country in Epcot and greet them in their own native language.
14:36Hola! Konichiwa! Hi!
14:39Did you guys hear about that train explosion in North Korea?
14:44The media is so sensitive there. So secretive.
14:55That they may never know how many people perished.
15:08Crazy for these cupcakes, cousin.
15:10Yo, where's the movie playing?
15:11Upper West Side, dude.
15:12Well, let's hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route.
15:15I prefer MacQuest.
15:16That's a good one, too.
15:17Google Maps is the best.
15:18Prudak.
15:19Double crew.
15:2068th and Broadway.
15:21Step on it, sucka.
15:22What you want to do, Chris?
15:23Back attack, motherf***er!
15:25Not going to get you a house in the hills.
15:28A girl like you needs something real.
15:31Want to get you something from the heart.
15:34Something special, girl.
15:36It's my inner box.
15:40Inner box, girl.
15:42It's my inner box.
15:46Inner box, girl.
15:48Don't refer to me as a milf.
15:53And don't refer to me as a flurge.
15:55I googled what it stands for and I do not like it.
15:59Reporters and commentators, stop using words that diminish us
16:03like pretty, attractive, beautiful,
16:06harpy, shrew,
16:09boner shrinker.
16:15Moving on.
16:17States that end in Hampshire.
16:21What color is green?
16:24And current black president.
16:27Kathy Lee, let's start with you.
16:29Potent potables? I'm sorry, I don't know what that is.
16:32It's about alcohol.
16:34Oh, in that case, I'll take potent potables.
16:40For how much?
16:41How about a glass full, right?
16:43Come on, hand it over, Treebark, let's go.
16:45We don't have wine.
16:47That's okay, I brought my own.
16:52What about someone,
16:54what about someone who,
16:56let's say they're coming to New York for the first time,
16:58and they want to have one of those classic New York nights.
17:02Yes, yes, I'm with you.
17:04Okay, so where should they go?
17:06Seth, New York's hottest club is Gush.
17:09Club owner Gay Dunaway has built a fantasy world
17:13that answers the question, now?
17:18This place has everything, geeks, sherpas,
17:21a Jamaican nurse wearing a shower cap,
17:24room after room of broken mirrors,
17:26and look over there in the corner, is that Mick Jagger?
17:29No, it's a fat kid on a slip and slide.
17:32His knees look like biscuits.
17:38And he's ready to party.
17:43I'm your dad.
17:46What?
17:49Stuart, you never told me you had a job.
17:53Dad!
17:55But there's one more thing,
17:57you have a brother.
18:03Devon?
18:07What are you doing here?
18:10I'm your bro, bro.
18:15My sons.
18:18You're turning our world upside down, Timberlio.
18:23Yeah!
18:33You ready?
18:34Yep.
18:35Just count, start whenever you want.
18:37And you taught me how to read.
18:42And you taught me how to read.
18:45But you forgot one word, one word, one word,
18:48two words, one word.
18:50Knipchick?
18:52Knipchick?
18:53Why didn't you tell me?
18:56Knipchick?
18:58Knipchick?
18:59Okay, I'm sorry, I gotta stop you.
19:02I hate to stop you guys,
19:04but you haven't been here in 12 months.
19:06Okay.
19:07And you had a full year to work on this,
19:09and that's what you sang?
19:10That was terrible.
19:11Hey!
19:16Dear sister, by the time you read this...
19:39What you say?
19:40What you do?
19:41What you do?
19:42What you do?
19:43What you do?
19:44What you say?
19:46Meet your second wife!
19:52Hello, and welcome to Meet Your Second Wife.
19:55We're your hosts.
19:56I'm Helen Walsh.
19:57And I'm Tina Fey.
19:58Don't be white, don't be white, don't be white, don't be white.
20:04Oh, son of a...
20:07You're a dead man, Toby.
20:10Toby, this is Alicia.
20:12She's currently a sophomore at Rutgers.
20:15Well, that's not that bad.
20:17I mean, the other ones were younger, right?
20:19Slow down.
20:20See, Alicia has a serious boyfriend.
20:23And she just found out she's three months pregnant with,
20:25you guessed it, your second wife.
20:28Let's show Toby the sunglasses!
20:34Already a beauty.
20:38And how did the aliens return you all to Earth?
20:42Oh, I was carried down gently.
20:48He's crying.
20:49I was carried down gently in a cradle of light
20:52placed into a soft bed of wildflowers.
20:55My grand exit was out of what was basically
20:58like a big airplane toilet, okay?
21:01I, uh, shoot.
21:03I dropped down seven feet
21:05onto the roof of a Long John Silver's.
21:08They threw out my pants separately.
21:10They missed the roof.
21:12My slacks landed in a frickin' pine tree
21:1530 feet away.
21:17So I had to just chill up there
21:19with my damn coot-coot and prune shoe
21:22till the place opened up.
21:29Well, the scariest thing to the mind
21:32is the unknown...
21:37I'm David Pumpkins!
21:39I know, but, like, who are you?
21:42I'm David Pumpkins, man!
21:44Okay, yeah, yeah, and David Pumpkins is...
21:47His own thing!
21:49And the skeletons are...
21:51Part of it!
21:53Why are you a part of this ride?
21:56To do this!
22:03Welcome to Black Jeopardy,
22:05the only TV game show
22:07where the audience is in church clothes.
22:09I'm your host, Darnell Hayes.
22:12Our contestants are Keely...
22:14Hey!
22:16...Shanice...
22:18Okay, now.
22:20...and Doug.
22:22How are you doing, sir?
22:25Oh, man.
22:27Doug, you should be ready to play Black Jeopardy.
22:30They told me a fella can win some money,
22:32so let's win me some money.
22:34Get her done.
22:36Okay, the answer, they out here saying
22:38the new iPhone wants your thumbprint
22:40for your protection.
22:42Oh, okay, then, Doug.
22:44What is... I don't think so.
22:46That's how they get you.
22:48Yes!
22:50Yes!
22:52That's it.
22:54Yes, I don't trust that.
22:56Me either.
22:58No, I read that and go straight to the government.
23:00Hmm.
23:02Well, that is not bad, Doug.
23:04Here's how it's gonna go down.
23:06You've got your TSA agent right here, okay?
23:10And first you got Barbie coming in.
23:12Nice American girl,
23:14back from a dream vacation.
23:16We know she's okay because she's blonde.
23:20So she gets in.
23:22Easy.
23:24We understand that. Perfect.
23:26Who's up next?
23:28Uh-oh.
23:30Uh-oh, it's Moana.
23:32Whoa, whoa.
23:34Slow your roll, honey.
23:36And then we're gonna pat her down,
23:38and then we're gonna read her e-mails,
23:40and if we don't like the answers,
23:42which we won't,
23:44boom, Guantanamo Bay.
23:48All right, let's go.
23:50Feel this, boy.
23:52Understand the pain.
23:54You think I was always the picture of strength that I am now?
23:58Dad, you couldn't get out of bed for a week
24:00because the mattress was too soft.
24:02Mind over flesh, boy.
24:04I was born seven months too early.
24:06Incubation technology was still in its infancy.
24:10So they placed me in a cast-iron pot
24:12inside of a pizza oven
24:14until I was ripe enough to walk.
24:18My bones never hardened,
24:20but my spirit did.
24:22Be strong and crush your enemies!
24:26Will you join in our crusade
24:28to keep the lobster from this pot?
24:30Will you drop the masquerade
24:32and give our BLT a shot?
24:34Then join in the fight
24:36that would give us the right to be free.
24:40Do you hear the lobsters scream?
24:42Screaming, a scream, a crawling place.
24:44It is the screaming of the lobster
24:46and it's what we're here to win.
24:48When they're churning in your mouth,
24:50it's the burning of its shell.
24:52You'll know why lobsters in the diner
24:54never sell.
24:56Lobsters,
24:58do you know
25:00what the hell
25:02is a lobster?
25:08From the black parties of the 80s
25:10and the boogie-down Bronx
25:12to the protest movement of today,
25:14hip-hop is about the lyrical tradition
25:16of America.
25:18Nah, see like for me,
25:20for me,
25:22it's about that yeet, yeet.
25:24Nah, I feel like yeet.
25:26I'm sorry,
25:28the yeet.
25:30Could you say more?
25:32It's about like, uh,
25:34when she's skirted on you,
25:36it's got a yeet on her.
25:38Yeah, like yeet, yeet.
25:40That's hip-hop, on God.
25:42That's hip-hop, on God.
25:44You have an album?
25:46Yes, it's a hyper-pop
25:48EDM new disco fantasia.
25:50It's called
25:52Music.
25:54Your album is called Music?
25:56Yeah, it's called Music.
25:58Wow.
26:00Cool, man.
26:02That's really cool.
26:04I just think that a lot of people
26:06might rather hear about the Titanic, you know.
26:08Oh, my God.
26:10Okay, wow. Okay, fine.
26:12Let's do this. Let's do this.
26:14First of all, you came to where I live,
26:16and you hit me.
26:18It was midnight.
26:20I was chilling.
26:22Then, I hear this Irish
26:24cacophony behind me.
26:26I mean, not to be offensive,
26:28but like, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
26:30Like, I'm sorry, that's what it sounded like.
26:34My first big set.
26:36Were you like a Def Jam comic?
26:38Yeah, we all were.
26:40It's the original princes of comedy.
26:42They might be small, but they got big
26:44attitudes. Featuring Ben
26:46Smoke Dog Marshall. Oh, Smoke Dog,
26:48you don't take me nowhere.
26:50Yeah, bitch, I got a piano
26:52recital.
26:54J.D. Higgins. You know when you, you can't
26:56get your straw in front of a Capri Sun?
26:58So you gotta like, hit it from the back?
27:00No, you know what I mean.
27:02Hit it from the back.
27:04And Big Mark Mark.
27:06Hold up, hold up.
27:08Y'all together?
27:10Uh-oh. Y'all know
27:12he ain't hitting that right.
27:14Dork ass!
27:16Yes, I dream of that, one day.
27:18Our proud nation
27:20will measure
27:22weights in pounds, and that 2,000 pounds
27:24shall be called a ton.
27:26And what would
27:281,000 pounds be called, sir?
27:30Nothing.
27:32Because we will
27:34have no word for that.
27:36Seems like we should have a word
27:38for 1,000 pounds, sir.
27:40And yet we won't.
27:44Because we are free men.
27:46And we will be free to measure liquids
27:48in liters and milliliters.
27:50But not all liquids,
27:52only soda, wine, and alcohol.
27:56Only those, sir. Yes.
27:58Because for milk and paint, we will use
28:00gallons, pints, and quarts, God willing.
28:02How many
28:04liters are in a gallon, sir?
28:06Nobody knows.
28:12Sing it!
28:14With a hot guy, but he looks gay
28:16Heard his name's Domingo
28:18Second location, maybe he's
28:20bi, still dancing with Domingo
28:22Third location,
28:24fully straight, fully
28:26touching Domingo
28:28I can't wait to be his wife
28:30She's binding to Domingo
28:32So,
28:34quick question, who's
28:36Domingo? Oh, just this random guy
28:38we met. I told you about him.
28:40I'm positive you did not. I'm sorry
28:42I met someone I connected with
28:44but Domingo is in the past.
28:46Kelsey, I'm here.
28:52See now, if this is Domingo, I'm gonna be pissed.
28:56Hey man, came all this way
28:58to explain, direct from
29:00Domingo. Kelsey's a
29:02friend, she's like my sis, but
29:04we did hook up, though.
29:06Okay, so let's try again. Not everyone
29:08gets the voice right away. Tom?
29:10Okay, how about, uh, wasn't
29:12it cold yesterday? I'm having deja
29:14brew.
29:16Amazing. Cassie?
29:18Um, how about
29:20our baristas will warm you
29:22right up?
29:24Hey,
29:26you're trying and I respect that. Uh, Vinny?
29:28Um, okay, let me see.
29:30Um,
29:32you ever getting ready to go to Cheesecake Factory
29:34with your lady and she goes, I don't wanna eat
29:36too much, I don't wanna get big?
29:38Girl, too late! Big Benny said
29:40what?
29:46Okay.
29:56Okay.
29:58Okay.