Watch Momma Said Come Home For Christmas (2023) Full Movie For Free
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00:01:56 Jarvis, you're still here. You okay?
00:02:00 That one really hurt, coach.
00:02:09 Yeah, I was, uh...
00:02:11 That was a heartbreaker.
00:02:14 Yeah.
00:02:15 You threw two interceptions the last five minutes of the game.
00:02:18 You blew a ten-point lead.
00:02:20 I would definitely categorize that as a heartbreaker.
00:02:23 Knocked us out the playoffs.
00:02:26 Season gone.
00:02:28 Because of two stupid throws.
00:02:32 Yeah.
00:02:34 This is all the facts.
00:02:36 I wouldn't say stupid. I would border more on idiotic, moronic.
00:02:41 But if it helps you get over it any faster, I'll go with it.
00:02:44 I promise you, coach.
00:02:46 Next year, it'll be better.
00:02:50 Never again.
00:02:52 If you think you're coming back next year, then I got a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn.
00:02:55 Merry Christmas.
00:03:02 [Music]
00:03:20 So, Elias Brown, you've been able to amass an impressive amount of catches this season.
00:03:25 And what's even more impressive is the amount of yards after the catch.
00:03:30 Hey, they can't guard me. They can't tackle me.
00:03:33 I'm just a beast in every way.
00:03:36 Right. So, what is it that... What's your motivation? What drives you?
00:03:43 You know, I just want to see my future wife or future baby mama see me excel on the field.
00:03:51 And then maybe after that, she might want to excel with me in the bedroom and beyond.
00:03:57 What do you think?
00:03:59 Well, you heard it here. From the bed and beyond.
00:04:02 So now it's time for us to pay some bills. So we're going to take a commercial break.
00:04:06 Connie.
00:04:09 Excuse me.
00:04:10 Hey, where are you going, beautiful?
00:04:11 Uh, you know, all of a sudden I'm feeling a little slimy.
00:04:16 So I'm just going to go wash that off. But I'll be right back so we can finish this.
00:04:20 Oh, come on, Elias Brown. Didn't just do this interview so he can get this close to you. Come on.
00:04:26 Oh, okay. Talking about yourself in a third person. Checks all the creep boxes.
00:04:33 If you'll excuse me.
00:04:35 Hey, hey, hey. Look, I just signed for 44. All right? M's, that is.
00:04:40 Hey, let me take you out to St. Tropey in my yacht.
00:04:43 Oh, St. Tropey.
00:04:44 St. what?
00:04:46 Yeah, okay. So let's not. But I'm sure with all those 44 M's, you're going to catch a lot of flies.
00:04:52 So you'll be fine.
00:04:54 Yeah.
00:04:55 You think you all that, huh?
00:04:57 What?
00:04:59 Can't even walk in those heels.
00:05:01 Elias Brown ain't got time for this.
00:05:05 You still got it. You still got it.
00:05:09 Is it true that your supermodel girlfriend jumped you via text?
00:05:16 Oh, man.
00:05:17 She's dating the kicker.
00:05:19 Hey, hey, hey, Travis. What are you going to do next? Hey, Travis. What are you going to do next?
00:05:23 Come on, Jarvis.
00:05:24 Remember how the kids were going to release you next week?
00:05:26 Jarvis. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Real nice. Real nice.
00:05:32 Bye.
00:05:33 Ma.
00:05:54 Hey, son.
00:05:55 So I guess you heard.
00:05:58 Son, did you have to throw the ball straight to the other team?
00:06:01 I mean, didn't you get that expensive Lasik stuff?
00:06:04 See, I knew I shouldn't believe them commercials.
00:06:07 Come on, Ma. Give me a break.
00:06:09 I've already heard enough from my coach.
00:06:11 And then I invited the whole family over here to watch you make a fool of yourself.
00:06:16 I done let my team down.
00:06:18 Let my fans down.
00:06:20 Let myself down.
00:06:21 And worst of all, you had that skinny, just that supermodel.
00:06:26 Go down on your best friend, the kicker.
00:06:28 Come on, Ma.
00:06:30 She could have at least started with the offensive line.
00:06:32 Those boys got girth.
00:06:33 Can you please stop sticking the knife in deeper?
00:06:38 Now, son, even though you were an epic and magnificent disappointment to your team and the family,
00:06:48 being an NFL football quarterback and playing in the biggest game of your life,
00:06:54 we still love you and want you to come home for Christmas.
00:06:57 Ah, that's great. That's in a few days, isn't it?
00:07:00 Yeah, and your daddy's gonna try to fry a turkey again.
00:07:04 Only this time, we got the proper insurance.
00:07:06 All right, all right, Ma. Look, I'll do my best.
00:07:09 You'll do your best?
00:07:11 Come on, now. You don't know how many more Christmas days your poor mama got left.
00:07:16 And I invited Cece this year.
00:07:20 She wants to see you.
00:07:22 Ma, stop, please. What have I told you about that?
00:07:24 Don't try to be the matchmaker, all right?
00:07:27 We were together in high school.
00:07:29 Plus, she doesn't want me here anymore.
00:07:32 Hmph! After what you showed us on that field out there, you ought to be grateful that she even took my call.
00:07:38 Son, you need a good old son, not a skinny little old supermodel.
00:07:44 Listen, please, do not invite her.
00:07:48 Besides, I already got a date.
00:07:51 Who?
00:07:52 Who cares? I mean, it's a surprise. It's a surprise, Ma.
00:07:56 Well, let's just see who this surprise is, son.
00:07:59 And she better be dressed appropriate, because Reverend Dawson may be stopping by.
00:08:04 And he don't need to see no tramp stamping.
00:08:07 Besides, be wandering enough as it is.
00:08:10 Oh, Ma, Ma, Ma, I can't hear you. There's something going on. Are you in a bad area?
00:08:15 Ma, I'm gonna call you back. I love you, all right?
00:08:19 Boy, I don't even know how to lie, right?
00:08:21 So, tell me about yourself.
00:08:33 And then I tried being vegan for like three weeks, and then I realized I was actually pescatarian at heart.
00:08:39 So I switched back to being vegan for like two more weeks to make sure that I could handle it.
00:08:44 Wait, is this vegan? Is this drink vegan? Or would you like to open this up in prayer?
00:08:51 Y'all know what time it is, okay? Finding the vibes, looking for the guys, okay?
00:08:57 Bad girls all year, okay? Hashtagging, okay?
00:09:01 Make sure y'all follow me on YouTube, Instagram, okay? I am so sunny.
00:09:05 Look, I ain't got time for no BS. I'm already at executive level, so you either meet me or beat me, okay?
00:09:12 If you want to know about my last three TikTok posts, they was a little, you know, I was giving a little thirst vibe.
00:09:17 But sometimes you gotta give the thirst to get the thirst.
00:09:19 I lead the youth group on Wednesdays, and then Fridays is the Bible study.
00:09:23 We need a new deacon. You should join.
00:09:25 Usually when I meet somebody for the first time, I'm just like, you know, like, I need to know that you're gonna call me back, right?
00:09:31 How many followers do you got?
00:09:33 My clock is ticking, and I ain't got time for no BS. So you gotta come correct, or don't come at all.
00:09:38 Just, if you're not feeling it, you can just let me know now, you know?
00:09:41 I think that would be cool.
00:09:43 The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not be in want.
00:09:46 Are you giving out handbags for Christmas? Because, you know, I need a couple. And some shoes to go with it. That's cool.
00:09:52 Leticia.
00:10:07 Hey.
00:10:08 Good morning.
00:10:10 [sighs]
00:10:11 Now look. I've managed to keep you on here, on the roster, for over a year.
00:10:17 But you haven't produced what the headhunters advertised. I need a big story. Now.
00:10:23 Look, I'm just, I'm not okay with all the lies and the following the rumor stuff. Like, I'm just not comfortable with that.
00:10:30 Half of this crap's made up. Nobody cares. They just want to be entertained.
00:10:34 They just want their beliefs reinforced. They just want to see a celebrity as not so special, so they don't feel so bad about their own crappy lives.
00:10:41 Okay, look. I got some really big leads. I'm on to something. I just need some more time.
00:10:47 Alright, look. I'm gonna give you two weeks, just after Christmas, and then I'm gonna be expecting a big story.
00:10:56 Okay.
00:10:57 Okay? Preferably, a celebrity secret.
00:11:00 If not, it's gonna be no secret that you're fired.
00:11:04 Look, I worked really hard to get this job.
00:11:07 So work hard to keep it, sweetie.
00:11:10 Merry Christmas.
00:11:15 Christmas light
00:11:18 In the darkness of the earth
00:11:25 Light up the bright light that we all want
00:11:39 And I wanna say goodnight, sweet dreams
00:11:46 밤하늘에서도 내린 눈 속에
00:11:54 That's selfish.
00:11:55 Oh my goodness.
00:11:59 Look who can grow a tail.
00:12:05 Okay.
00:12:07 Ah.
00:12:08 Huh.
00:12:12 There we go.
00:12:13 Mm-hmm. Okay.
00:12:25 Hey, Mama D. How you doing today?
00:12:31 Oh, much better now that I'm speaking with an angel.
00:12:34 I know a few people that would argue that sentiment with you.
00:12:37 Well, I'm calling to say thank you for the fruit basket. That was a nice gesture.
00:12:43 Yeah. Anything to make you feel better. I know it's the anniversary and...
00:12:48 Well, child, let's not dwell on sad things today. It's a good day, and I'm feeling blessed.
00:12:54 Me too, Mama D. Me too, because my kale actually came in, and it's amazing.
00:13:02 Great, great. But you keep all that healthy eating over there where you are.
00:13:07 We eating over here to die early.
00:13:10 Lots of grease and fat and sugar. Might be bad for your health, but good for your soul.
00:13:16 I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get you eating healthy, okay? Healthy eating, healthy life, Mama D.
00:13:22 Over my dead diabetic body.
00:13:26 Okay, we'll see. We'll see.
00:13:28 I was calling to see if you were still planning on coming over for Christmas.
00:13:33 Yes, of course. As long as Jarvis ain't coming.
00:13:38 What, what? No, no, no. He's not gonna be here. He's playing that day.
00:13:42 Mama D., the entire world knows that Jarvis threw interceptions and got benched
00:13:47 and is not playing anything but spades in his backyard on Christmas Day.
00:13:50 Well, okay, he's not coming. But you know how he is.
00:13:55 Yes, I do. That's why he and I didn't work out. But you know what? I got a whole new family out of it.
00:14:01 Does that mean you're coming?
00:14:03 Can I bring my kale?
00:14:05 Of course you can. We'll use it as garnish for the potato salad.
00:14:09 Oh my God, you would do that too? Yes, yes, I will be there.
00:14:13 4 p.m. sharp.
00:14:15 Yes, ma'am. Bye.
00:14:18 Bye, baby.
00:14:20 I won't let her garnish you.
00:14:22 Mama D., you are a mastermind this year.
00:14:27 Salvation.
00:14:51 It's been a long day. I'm gonna need a double chain steak.
00:14:54 Another double.
00:15:02 Thank you.
00:15:16 I'm not signing any autographs.
00:15:21 Excuse me?
00:15:23 Don't ask me for an autograph.
00:15:27 I'm not signing anything. I'm just relaxing.
00:15:30 I saw it on your face. You was about to ask me.
00:15:34 What are you, like a rapper or something?
00:15:39 That was a good one.
00:15:43 That was a good one.
00:15:45 Hey, girl. Hey.
00:16:09 I'm sorry I'm late. No, no worries.
00:16:11 You look cute. Thank you.
00:16:13 Got the girls out. You better.
00:16:16 Girl, I had to send those feet pics out. You know how I do.
00:16:19 I gotta make sure that Cash app stays buzzing, okay?
00:16:22 You are such a foot whore. I know. It's so bad. It's terrible.
00:16:26 Excuse me. Two grandmas on rocks, please.
00:16:30 Yeah, that would be good.
00:16:32 So, girl, finish telling me about your boss. He's trying to fire you.
00:16:36 What's up with that?
00:16:38 He's trying to put me in the free food line.
00:16:41 And you know they don't have a lot of vegetarian options, so that'll never work.
00:16:44 Well, girl, shoot. You better be a sugar-eating whore.
00:16:48 I'll be eating cakes and cookies and all types of things.
00:16:52 'Cause, you know, sugar is beef. Just in case you didn't know.
00:16:56 You crazy. No, but seriously, like, I need something bad.
00:17:00 Like, I need a story. I need something juicy.
00:17:03 Listen, you know you can always take pictures of your feet like I do.
00:17:07 Collect those coins.
00:17:09 [laughs]
00:17:11 What? I'm serious. You should give it a try.
00:17:15 But you know what?
00:17:17 I just ran into Jarvis Porter. Stumbled into the bathroom, girl.
00:17:21 He looked sloppy drunk.
00:17:23 I say we take some footage of him acting all drunk and whatnot
00:17:29 and do a story about him being an alcoholic.
00:17:32 For you.
00:17:34 Who's Jarvis Porter?
00:17:36 Jarvis Porter, girl. Two-time Super Bowl champion.
00:17:40 I know my sports. You gotta keep up, honey.
00:17:43 I think it would be good. Think about it.
00:17:45 Listen, he's washed up now, but he's about to retire.
00:17:49 So it might be worth it.
00:17:51 Oh, girl, maybe I can get his retirement story. That would save my job.
00:17:56 Come on. Come on.
00:17:58 And I'm sure he's held on to some of his millions.
00:18:03 Ooh, girl.
00:18:05 You know I'm looking for a husband, right?
00:18:08 Could you put in a word for me, please?
00:18:11 Girl, did you see where he went?
00:18:14 He's right over there in the corner with the shade phone, okay?
00:18:17 Gold chain.
00:18:19 Oh, no.
00:18:23 Mm-hmm.
00:18:29 # You know
00:18:31 # Mm-hmm
00:18:33 # That baby
00:18:36 # You know... #
00:18:58 You sure that we can do this without your wife finding out?
00:19:01 She better not find out for both our sakes.
00:19:03 What do you mean? We have some unfinished business.
00:19:06 I know what we got, okay, but not here.
00:19:09 Listen, you know that I am only here for the bag, right?
00:19:12 Okay, I know. So the rest of this is gonna be on you.
00:19:14 I got it, okay? I got it.
00:19:16 Call me then. Okay. Okay.
00:19:18 Okay. Bye.
00:19:20 That fool lost his man.
00:19:25 Mm.
00:19:27 Put a coat on.
00:19:29 I'm gonna kill him.
00:19:31 Show him my name, son. I'm gonna kill him.
00:19:34 Oh, you're back.
00:19:38 Oh, I know what it is. I'm gonna buy you a drink.
00:19:41 I'm gonna buy you a drink.
00:19:43 Here you go.
00:19:45 This is for you.
00:19:47 $100. That's right there.
00:19:49 It's yours. Please leave... Why are you sitting there?
00:19:51 Go ahead. Can you leave me alone, please?
00:19:53 $100. It's been a rough day. Yes.
00:19:55 $100 on the table, I'm gonna say.
00:19:57 Listen, so you know the stuff I said to you earlier?
00:20:01 I was just hoping that maybe we can just kind of, like,
00:20:03 let bygones be bygones and just put it past us.
00:20:06 Yes, yes, let bygones be bygones.
00:20:09 Just forget all about it. That's not important.
00:20:12 You know, we all have sinned, right?
00:20:14 Yes. Right?
00:20:16 Listen, you threw an interception
00:20:19 during the most important game of your career.
00:20:22 She called you a loser.
00:20:24 But it's not about that. That's not important.
00:20:27 What's important is how you intercept the pitfalls
00:20:30 and interceptions of the light.
00:20:33 Exactly. Exactly.
00:20:35 Oh.
00:20:37 Oh, y'all some type of comedy act, right?
00:20:40 What? No. No, no.
00:20:42 I'm a journalist for The Gauntlet.
00:20:44 Oh, oh. No, no, no, no. You stay away from me, all right?
00:20:47 You're not about to catch me slipping.
00:20:49 That's a tabloid paper.
00:20:51 Listen, we're trying to make a turn.
00:20:53 We're focusing more stories on the positive.
00:20:55 We're also focusing more on redemption stories.
00:20:59 Redemption stories. Redemption. Exactly.
00:21:01 That's what it's all about. And you know what?
00:21:03 I see a touchdown in your future, baby.
00:21:07 Redemption, huh?
00:21:09 Yes. Yes.
00:21:10 And if you just let me interview you,
00:21:12 then I swear I can turn all the recent events
00:21:15 into a positive.
00:21:17 Yes. Let her.
00:21:19 Let me.
00:21:21 I'm telling you.
00:21:23 And let me tell you something else.
00:21:26 My feet pics are to die for.
00:21:30 Yeah, y'all chicks are crazy.
00:21:36 I'm about to be out of here.
00:21:38 Plus, I'm a leg and butt man.
00:21:40 I'm not into all that weird old stuff, all right?
00:21:42 Okay, okay, wait. Thank you.
00:21:44 Okay, well, let me give you my card,
00:21:46 and you just might change your mind.
00:21:50 I doubt it.
00:21:54 I make a mean T-bone steak.
00:21:56 All right.
00:22:00 Girl, that didn't go well.
00:22:03 Well, at least you got $100 out the deal.
00:22:08 Oh, well, I ain't too proud.
00:22:10 Actually, I'm about to get fired.
00:22:12 [snoring]
00:22:16 [snoring]
00:22:21 [snoring]
00:22:25 [snoring]
00:22:30 [snoring]
00:22:34 [snoring]
00:22:55 Ma, what you doing up at this time?
00:22:59 Well, you know, sometimes I wake up stuttered word.
00:23:02 The silence makes me reflect a little bit more on the blessings.
00:23:05 Won't he do it, son?
00:23:08 Ah, so what pops do now?
00:23:10 Oh, nothing. Just being his old regular self.
00:23:15 You know, for you to find there's a very special man.
00:23:18 And soon and very soon, I will be doing a special thing.
00:23:23 Well, it's good to see you guys are getting along.
00:23:27 You know, sometimes growing up,
00:23:30 I didn't know if I was going to end up on one of those crime story specials or something.
00:23:35 Crime? Us?
00:23:37 Oh, no one will ever know.
00:23:39 I mean, no one will ever know what a true love we have.
00:23:44 That's good, Ma.
00:23:46 Well, speaking of love, I can't wait for you and Cece to get back together at Christmas time.
00:23:51 I mean, look at that fact that you're going to be kicked off the team
00:23:55 and you've got plenty of time left to invest in a relationship.
00:23:59 Ma, what did I tell you?
00:24:01 Please, stop trying to be the matchmaker.
00:24:05 Besides, I'm bringing somebody.
00:24:09 Oh, are you now?
00:24:11 Yeah, I, um...
00:24:14 She's actually a beautiful woman.
00:24:18 Tall and a professional.
00:24:22 Okay, all right. Professional lady, tall, pretty.
00:24:25 What does this professional lady do?
00:24:28 She's a reporter.
00:24:30 Oh, she a TV reporter?
00:24:32 Yeah, a reporter.
00:24:34 Is she one of those TV reporters that report while all them bombs and things blowing up behind her
00:24:39 because I need me some grandbabies by you?
00:24:42 Ma, relax. No, she's not that type.
00:24:45 Oh, good. Then I'll be happy to meet her.
00:24:48 We'll set up the guest room for her. I'm so excited.
00:24:51 Yeah, me too.
00:24:53 Well, look, you go get you some rest.
00:24:55 All right, son.
00:24:57 And in the meantime, if I ever need to be bailed out,
00:25:01 there's $20,000 in the safe under the shed.
00:25:05 Ma?
00:25:07 [phone chimes]
00:25:09 Well, my tow appreciation team came through again,
00:25:20 and now I'm the proud owner of a new pair of Christians.
00:25:24 Girl, you are degrading yourself for not appreciating assets.
00:25:28 Great job.
00:25:30 What?
00:25:31 Generational wealth is destroying itself as we speak.
00:25:34 Girl, the only generation I'm concerned with is this one, okay?
00:25:39 Me. Thank you.
00:25:41 Girl, my life is over, and you don't even care.
00:25:44 I just blew my only shot.
00:25:46 Now I'm going to have to go get a job at Sprouts or--
00:25:49 or I don't know, like UPS or something.
00:25:52 Ooh, girl, you know what?
00:25:54 One of my homegirls works at UPS.
00:25:56 Her legs.
00:25:57 No, I'm not--
00:25:58 To die for. Like, bomb tight.
00:26:01 Okay, she's going upstairs in the heat all day long.
00:26:03 I mean, she look good.
00:26:04 It's a blessing in disguise.
00:26:06 You know, if you have a knowledge, you might want to, you know, think about it.
00:26:09 Ooh, wait, hold on.
00:26:12 Yes!
00:26:14 Girl, Mr. Cheek Lover 22 is hitting me up.
00:26:18 I'm going to have to go.
00:26:20 I love you, though.
00:26:21 You're still not a good friend.
00:26:22 Oh, I love you.
00:26:23 My life is ending, and you don't really even care.
00:26:25 Oh, I care. I care somewhat.
00:26:27 But, baby, I got to go get this money.
00:26:31 I should have had different feet.
00:26:35 [phone ringing]
00:26:39 Hello?
00:26:40 Hey, what's going on? It's Jarvis.
00:26:43 Listen, I decided to discuss your offer.
00:26:48 You're going to let me do the story?
00:26:50 Yeah, I said discuss.
00:26:52 Okay, okay, that's a start, that's a start.
00:26:56 Meet me at Sleep Gym in about an hour.
00:26:58 Bring some workout clothes, and I'll do most of the talking.
00:27:01 Yes, okay, and you can do most of the exercising.
00:27:08 Bye.
00:27:21 I'm going to get nice and oiled up for you, baby.
00:27:24 Of course, of course.
00:27:29 Oh, you like it like that.
00:27:32 I know.
00:27:37 Maybe it's my bestie.
00:27:38 It might be an emergency.
00:27:39 Listen, I will give you an additional 15 minutes,
00:27:42 plus I will throw in that little bonus thing you like on house, okay?
00:27:47 Okay.
00:27:49 Bitch, you are calling me on company time.
00:27:52 Back up an ambulance.
00:27:54 Girl, I'm calling you because I'm having a heart attack right now.
00:27:57 He called me.
00:27:58 Who? Michael B. Jordan?
00:28:00 Jarvis.
00:28:01 He says he's going to let me do the story.
00:28:04 Well, okay, so go.
00:28:05 Why are you calling me?
00:28:07 That's the point.
00:28:08 Like, I'm having second thoughts.
00:28:10 Like, I don't know if I want to do it.
00:28:14 Hold on one second, you precious stud monster.
00:28:17 I will be right back.
00:28:19 Well, I mean, what if he's pulling my leg?
00:28:22 I don't know.
00:28:23 What if he wants me to just go there and just massage his washed up ego or something?
00:28:27 I don't know.
00:28:29 What if he's crazy like those people that pay you online?
00:28:32 Hey.
00:28:38 You just lost me $85.
00:28:39 You better make it up to me on my Amazon cart.
00:28:42 I am not playing.
00:28:44 It's just that I really need this to go well so bad.
00:28:46 Like, I'm so in need of a break.
00:28:48 I don't want to get my hopes up and then, like, you know, this isn't what it's supposed to --
00:28:53 Maybe I should just accept defeat and start looking at those applications.
00:28:57 You're right.
00:28:59 It could very well be all some BS.
00:29:02 But at the end of the day, what do you got to lose?
00:29:05 It's just an hour of your time, Letitia.
00:29:08 And what if it's not some BS?
00:29:09 Yeah, you've always been the wise one for the most part.
00:29:12 I mean, you know, you didn't jump on your ex's windshield in the middle of Times Square when he wouldn't take you back.
00:29:17 Girl, that man wore a size 14 shoe, so you do the math.
00:29:23 Shoot, I was prepared to slide across that windshield like Tom Cruise if he decided to hit the gas, okay?
00:29:30 Woo, a woman has needs.
00:29:34 Okay, I'll go.
00:30:00 Hey.
00:30:01 Not bad.
00:30:05 Your fashion sense at the bar was not flattering.
00:30:08 You got a decent pair of legs on you.
00:30:10 Yeah, well, I ran a semester of track in high school, so that's what you got.
00:30:17 All right, track star, ready to get it set in?
00:30:20 Yeah.
00:30:21 Come on.
00:30:25 Here, let's see what you got.
00:30:27 Come on.
00:30:28 Pull, pull, pull.
00:30:29 You got it.
00:30:30 Pull, pull.
00:30:31 What?
00:30:32 No, rack it up.
00:30:33 You got a big old bang popping out your forehead.
00:30:35 This is lightweight.
00:30:36 I got this.
00:30:37 No, you're going to get a stroke.
00:30:38 Put it down.
00:30:39 Okay, okay.
00:30:40 Now, oh, yeah, go ahead.
00:30:41 Switch it back up.
00:30:42 It's okay.
00:30:43 It's okay.
00:30:44 It's all right.
00:30:45 Okay.
00:30:46 You know, that's what happens.
00:30:48 Like, the blood rushes.
00:30:50 Right, right.
00:30:51 But you look like you might have needed a breather, so.
00:30:54 Well, I mean, I haven't been in one of these since before the pandemic, so.
00:30:58 Yeah, life goes on, huh?
00:31:00 Yeah, I hope so.
00:31:02 So, what's up?
00:31:04 So, I was thinking, I was wondering if you would give me your retirement story.
00:31:12 How did you know I was retiring?
00:31:15 I haven't even told my mama yet.
00:31:18 Well, I mean, you know, it was like a little itsy bitsy educated guess, I think.
00:31:24 Well, listen, I can't be mad at you.
00:31:26 You're right.
00:31:28 I think it is about that time, especially after my last game.
00:31:33 I know the team's going to drop me next year.
00:31:36 Sis, I just didn't see that safety hiding in a corner.
00:31:41 It's like he made my eyes into zone coverage.
00:31:45 Yeah, zone coverage.
00:31:47 I don't really know what that is, but whatever.
00:31:50 So, you know, I just, I really think that, like, I should be the one that you trust.
00:31:56 You want me to do your story?
00:31:58 Absolutely not.
00:32:01 Well, maybe.
00:32:04 I need you to do me a favor.
00:32:07 And then I can give you what you want.
00:32:12 Okay, look, I'm not that type of girl.
00:32:14 But I know someone with really pretty toes.
00:32:18 Listen, I promised my mother I would bring a beautiful woman to Christmas dinner.
00:32:22 It's kind of a big deal to her.
00:32:24 She's old and all.
00:32:26 So I just, I want to come through clutch.
00:32:31 So you think I'm beautiful?
00:32:35 I mean, you're not big crazy in love video, but I mean, you're all right.
00:32:41 All right.
00:32:42 Fair enough.
00:32:43 Listen, I'm a professional.
00:32:46 So respectfully, I have to decline your offer.
00:32:49 Okay.
00:32:51 I understand.
00:32:52 Enjoy your day.
00:32:56 Okay, well, you're not going to try to, like, convince me to--
00:32:59 It was nice to meet you, Letitia.
00:33:04 Come on.
00:33:08 [music]
00:33:24 Oh, my baby's home.
00:33:26 Javis.
00:33:27 Hey.
00:33:29 Oh, my goodness.
00:33:30 Thank you, baby.
00:33:32 This is my date right here, Letitia.
00:33:35 Well, hello, Letitia.
00:33:36 Merry Christmas.
00:33:37 Merry Christmas to you, too, sweetheart.
00:33:41 Ooh, we're going to have to put some meat on them bones, honey.
00:33:44 Oh, I'm vegan, so it's like--
00:33:48 Lord, Lord, Lord.
00:33:51 It's okay, Ma.
00:33:52 Look, black people are doing it now.
00:33:54 It's actually kind of healthy, right?
00:33:55 Yeah, it's very healthy.
00:33:56 Okay, it's a thing.
00:33:58 Better than.
00:33:59 I understand.
00:34:00 All right, look, I'm going to go get the bag, so follow her.
00:34:02 Yeah, mi casa es su casa.
00:34:04 Bye-bye.
00:34:05 [phone rings]
00:34:09 [sighs]
00:34:12 Okay, okay.
00:34:14 Smells like chitlins and hogmogs, but I can do this.
00:34:18 I can do this.
00:34:19 [muttering]
00:34:23 So you must be the big-time reporter, huh?
00:34:26 My brother says you're supposed to be all high class.
00:34:29 You ain't all that.
00:34:32 Turn around, let me see your hair.
00:34:34 Turn around, it's okay.
00:34:36 What, do you work for TSA or something?
00:34:38 I mean, what's going on here?
00:34:39 It's tracks, ain't it?
00:34:41 Yeah, you ain't all that.
00:34:42 Okay, so you've never added extensions to your hair for full length and volume.
00:34:47 I got my eye on you, big city girl.
00:34:50 And you better not be after my brother's money, just like all the rest of them,
00:34:53 because you ain't going to get a dime, all right?
00:34:56 Okay, let's start this over.
00:34:57 Hi, I'm Letitia, nice to meet you.
00:34:59 Uh-huh, I got my eye on you.
00:35:02 Oh, Letitia!
00:35:04 What's going on, my sweet little T.T.?
00:35:06 Been looking all over for you.
00:35:08 I see you've met my loudmouth, obnoxious,
00:35:11 sometimes don't know how to mind her business sister, Ria.
00:35:13 But you can call her Riri.
00:35:15 Yeah, she's actually quite adorable.
00:35:17 That's absolutely correct.
00:35:19 She's quite the adorable one.
00:35:22 Yeah.
00:35:24 Anyway, I want to introduce you to my pops.
00:35:26 Oh, yeah, okay.
00:35:28 Hello!
00:35:48 Oh, oh, hey.
00:35:50 Hi.
00:35:51 Come on now, girl.
00:35:52 We're from the South.
00:35:54 We don't do that bougie corporate thing down here.
00:35:56 We hug.
00:35:57 Come on, give me a hug.
00:35:59 Come on in here.
00:36:01 Yeah, that's good.
00:36:03 Oh, girl, look at you.
00:36:11 Have much meat on your bone, do you?
00:36:13 You know what?
00:36:15 Black men around here, we like hips, butt.
00:36:19 I ain't seen nothing that round and flat
00:36:21 since I looked at a tortilla.
00:36:23 Look at, my wife tells me
00:36:25 you're one of those crunchy, avocado toast eating sisters.
00:36:29 Mm-hmm.
00:36:30 Oh, girl, let me teach you something.
00:36:32 Come on, come on.
00:36:33 No, what?
00:36:35 Pick your feet up.
00:36:37 Ma, you better not.
00:36:47 I thought the pastor delivered you from all of that.
00:36:50 Son, I would have sinned.
00:36:53 So what's going on?
00:37:00 You're not stressing about my interception, are you?
00:37:02 Because I'll be all right, you know.
00:37:05 Thank you, but I've had a good run, so, yeah.
00:37:10 Nobody care about your damn interception.
00:37:13 You've had many of them your career.
00:37:16 Yeah.
00:37:18 And we nobody care about you.
00:37:20 We gonna love you whether you do football or not.
00:37:24 You just keep on making that money.
00:37:27 Well, thank you for the reinforcing statement, I think.
00:37:32 But maybe I'm just trying to look at things on the bright side now.
00:37:36 Travis, it's your father.
00:37:40 I think he's up to something.
00:37:42 Up to something? Like what?
00:37:45 I don't know why.
00:37:46 I don't know why I didn't think about it.
00:37:48 He was right under my nose.
00:37:50 And he's been trimming his nose for the last two weeks.
00:37:53 What?
00:37:54 Pops, come on now.
00:37:56 Ma, that don't even sound like him.
00:37:58 Plus, you remember when you made that announcement last year for Christmas?
00:38:01 You said because of his diabetes, his, you know, his--
00:38:04 Jarvis, Jarvis.
00:38:05 His heist wasn't working, right?
00:38:07 Jarvis, they got medicine for this.
00:38:09 Ma, Ma, that's TMI.
00:38:13 I'm not sure about what to do.
00:38:16 I've read about 16 different ways to end it.
00:38:20 But I don't want to be taking off the insurance.
00:38:23 All right, first of all, stop watching too much TV.
00:38:26 Second, I don't know.
00:38:27 I mean, y'all been together for like 42 years, Ma.
00:38:30 Maybe y'all should just have a conversation
00:38:33 before you resort to a first-degree felony conviction, you know?
00:38:37 Well, maybe that does make sense.
00:38:41 Let me talk to him.
00:38:43 I don't know if that's going to be a good idea, son.
00:38:46 You know, Justin was a favorite.
00:38:50 Yeah, well, Justin is gone, so I guess I'm going to have to do.
00:38:58 Have you learned to accept that?
00:39:01 Have I ever had a choice, Ma?
00:39:04 Never.
00:39:05 Not really.
00:39:07 But you know, maybe it's not bad to be second sometimes.
00:39:19 Now, look, around here, you got to know how to shoot.
00:39:24 Yeah, come on, now.
00:39:26 You never know when you're going to see a dinner deer across the road.
00:39:30 It could be a zombie apocalypse,
00:39:33 or you run into one of them magnificent insurrectionists.
00:39:36 No, no, no, no, I'm really not all the violence.
00:39:39 Bougie girl, if you're going to be in our family, you can't be milquetoast.
00:39:43 You got to sop this up with a biscuit.
00:39:45 Now, come on.
00:39:46 No, I really can't.
00:39:47 Yes, you can.
00:39:48 Like Michelle Obama said, "Uh-huh, when they go low, you shoot them high in the face."
00:39:54 Come on, now.
00:39:55 Get in there.
00:39:56 Put your hands on there.
00:39:57 Okay, okay.
00:39:58 Okay.
00:39:59 It's heavy.
00:40:00 Okay.
00:40:01 Put your finger down and trigger.
00:40:03 Okay.
00:40:04 There you go.
00:40:05 Okay, now, position yourself.
00:40:07 Get ready.
00:40:08 Come on, there's a little kick there.
00:40:10 [gunshot]
00:40:11 [laughter]
00:40:12 I'm about to squeeze a little pop.
00:40:14 [laughter]
00:40:15 I got it, I got it.
00:40:16 Yeah, look at that.
00:40:17 Okay, all right.
00:40:18 [music]
00:40:21 I'm not a crunchy girl, and I'm not avocado toast.
00:40:24 [gunshot]
00:40:25 Ooh.
00:40:26 [laughter]
00:40:27 Okay.
00:40:28 Okay.
00:40:29 Carol Blakely did not deserve to be prom queen over me,
00:40:31 because the bitch is balling and--
00:40:32 [gunshot]
00:40:33 Okay, all right, all right, that's enough.
00:40:35 Okay, okay, all right, okay.
00:40:37 Yeah, okay, all right.
00:40:38 Yeah, you shot the bow-legged bitch.
00:40:40 Let's go.
00:40:41 Come on, now, let's go eat.
00:40:42 You know, all this releasing has me really--
00:40:44 [music]
00:40:57 [laughter]
00:41:00 All righty, now.
00:41:01 Oh, um--
00:41:03 Oh, well, pops, pops, Latisha, she doesn't eat meat.
00:41:07 What?
00:41:08 Everybody eats a little meat every now and then,
00:41:10 especially at Christmas.
00:41:11 Come on, now.
00:41:12 Oh, with all due respect,
00:41:14 I just don't believe in killing animals for food.
00:41:18 Oh.
00:41:19 I just think it's unjust.
00:41:22 So you're gonna disrespect a chef in his own house
00:41:27 and his own kitchen?
00:41:29 Listen, come on, now.
00:41:31 Everybody's entitled to their opinion, right?
00:41:34 Mm-hmm, yeah, I guess.
00:41:39 Passing disrespect to a chef in his own house and kitchen,
00:41:42 that's a little rude if you ask me.
00:41:46 I think you should at least try it.
00:41:51 Okay, okay.
00:41:55 Well, what is it?
00:41:57 Well, I like to call it improbable meat.
00:42:00 Oh!
00:42:02 Oh, that's so sweet of you that you went and did this for me.
00:42:05 Oh, and you know what, and you told them to--
00:42:08 you are a great Christmas date.
00:42:10 Go ahead, Miss Cosmo, give it a taste.
00:42:12 I will, and you know what, it smells really good.
00:42:16 Mm-hmm.
00:42:18 [laughter]
00:42:20 Mm-hmm.
00:42:23 She's scared, but she eat.
00:42:26 Like that, huh?
00:42:29 So you don't know what brand it is?
00:42:31 Oh, oh, no, we don't care about the brand,
00:42:34 we care about the spices.
00:42:39 This is really good.
00:42:40 See, she likes it.
00:42:43 Baby girl, you just ate possum.
00:42:46 [laughter]
00:42:52 It's clean!
00:42:54 I caught it down there by the river, and they broke him.
00:42:57 I licked him with the squirrel.
00:42:59 Hey, dude, that's a nice one, you get it?
00:43:02 Oh, boy.
00:43:03 Pass me that, baby.
00:43:04 Just get that for your mother, boy.
00:43:05 That's not for that.
00:43:06 There's people starving.
00:43:08 You know possums, they eat a lot of plants.
00:43:11 [music]
00:43:26 Oh, my girl is here.
00:43:27 Hey, Meg!
00:43:29 Merry Christmas.
00:43:30 Hey, Meg, hey, Meg.
00:43:32 Oh, they're down.
00:43:34 Hey, Merry Christmas to you, too.
00:43:37 Since he's here, y'all, now the party's started.
00:43:40 And the party can start because I brought you your fave,
00:43:43 and you do not have to share with anyone.
00:43:45 Oh, I choose just the most precious thing,
00:43:48 and you like beef brisket, don't you?
00:43:51 You don't even have to ask, Mama.
00:43:53 Jarvis.
00:43:54 Cecilia.
00:43:57 It's been a minute.
00:44:00 Yeah, indeed it has.
00:44:04 Yes.
00:44:06 Congratulations on another season.
00:44:11 Another losing season.
00:44:13 Oh, yeah, it's been atrocious.
00:44:15 But God is good.
00:44:16 That's what's important.
00:44:18 God is love.
00:44:20 Right, right.
00:44:21 I got to go check on Leticia.
00:44:23 That's my date for Christmas, the one I actually came with.
00:44:28 Date?
00:44:29 Mm-hmm.
00:44:30 To Christmas?
00:44:32 Wow, can't wait to meet her.
00:44:35 Cece, hi.
00:44:38 She's vomiting in the bathroom right now.
00:44:40 Oh, okay.
00:44:41 Food poisoning.
00:44:43 Pass him.
00:44:44 Okay.
00:44:56 How you doing in here?
00:44:58 Oh, your family doesn't like me.
00:45:03 I've tried to keep it cool, but this just isn't fair.
00:45:09 My family doesn't hate you.
00:45:11 I mean, you're just a bit uptight.
00:45:15 Just loosen up, that's all.
00:45:16 What do you mean I'm uptight?
00:45:18 Because I don't want animal carcass in my teeth,
00:45:20 that makes me uptight.
00:45:23 My mom's beef brisket, trust me, it's worth the flossing,
00:45:27 I promise you.
00:45:28 Listen, this better be one hell of a story, okay,
00:45:30 because your family is putting me through hell.
00:45:34 Wow.
00:45:36 That's amazing.
00:45:38 What are you laughing -- what is funny?
00:45:40 What could be funny right now?
00:45:43 You're actually cute when you're angry.
00:45:46 Finally, I get a chance to see some real emotion out of you,
00:45:50 a glimpse of who the real Leticia is.
00:45:54 See, my whole career is about reading people.
00:45:58 I can read the defense, I can read the linebacker's eyes,
00:46:02 the coach's interactions with the rival team.
00:46:06 But you, I couldn't quite read.
00:46:09 But now I see something.
00:46:12 Oh, you haven't seen anything yet.
00:46:15 I'm going to get to this dinner,
00:46:18 and you're going to give me my story.
00:46:21 And after this meeting, we're done.
00:46:23 [music]
00:46:35 I mean, can you imagine?
00:46:38 That girl is lost.
00:46:39 She actually thinks that she's better than the rest of us folks.
00:46:42 Your son did always like that type.
00:46:45 I always thought he was rebelling against his upbringing.
00:46:48 Well, you know something?
00:46:50 He ain't going to never find a woman better than you.
00:46:53 You're sweet, you're loyal,
00:46:56 and you always bring his mama her favorite wine.
00:46:58 Pour me up a little bit more.
00:46:59 Oh, yes, ma'am.
00:47:02 Mama D, what we had is long gone.
00:47:04 You know, that was like hometown high school romance.
00:47:08 It was college romance too.
00:47:10 Uh-huh.
00:47:11 Not smart of me to break up with him right before the draft.
00:47:16 No, I was scared.
00:47:19 I just wanted, like, a regular man,
00:47:21 not a pro superstar athlete, you know.
00:47:25 I should have just encouraged his dreams.
00:47:29 I was wrong.
00:47:31 It's wrong, incredibly stupid,
00:47:34 and you missed out on a lot of money.
00:47:37 Thank you.
00:47:39 Idiot.
00:47:40 Mama!
00:47:41 You know I love you, but you don't have to be that honest.
00:47:43 Like, you could lie to me.
00:47:45 Well, you know I love you too.
00:47:47 And ain't nobody coming up in here bringing me no grandbabies but you.
00:47:51 I'm going to make sure of it.
00:47:52 Mama D, you are crazy.
00:47:54 No, no, I'm okay.
00:47:56 Mama D, look at me.
00:47:58 I'm at peace, okay?
00:48:00 I made a mistake, but that's the way the world works sometimes.
00:48:04 I'm going to show you how the world works.
00:48:06 Because you and me, we're going to make sure
00:48:09 that we get that Madison Avenue heifer out the picture.
00:48:13 I'm going to make sure of it.
00:48:14 That does not sound good.
00:48:15 You got a plan, don't you?
00:48:16 Watch and see.
00:48:17 You feeling better?
00:48:24 I am, actually. Thank you.
00:48:26 Hmm.
00:48:27 What kind of shoes are those?
00:48:29 Italian.
00:48:31 Difficult to pronounce.
00:48:33 Oh, you think you got it like that?
00:48:35 Actually, I do.
00:48:37 Hmm.
00:48:38 Well, I'm thinking that you just want my brother's money, and I don't like you.
00:48:41 Well, you do know that I have my own money, okay?
00:48:46 What was that?
00:48:47 I got moves.
00:48:49 A word?
00:48:50 Show me. Let me see it.
00:48:52 No, I don't need any help with my moves.
00:48:54 I don't want to help. I don't want to see it.
00:48:56 Whatever.
00:48:57 Hey, hey, hey.
00:48:58 What's he doing?
00:48:59 Yeah, something. You can go buy you a coach.
00:49:03 [laughs]
00:49:04 That's so cute.
00:49:06 Let's look at this.
00:49:08 [indistinct chatter]
00:49:14 All right, so we'll be in touch. Make sure you give me a call.
00:49:16 Okay.
00:49:17 [indistinct chatter]
00:49:22 Oh, so you missed a trick, daddy.
00:49:25 Look.
00:49:26 I'm about to show you something real quick.
00:49:30 Girl, let me tell you something.
00:49:32 I don't need no help with my moves, okay?
00:49:34 All right, all right. Well, what you know about this?
00:49:36 [music]
00:50:04 Damn, huh?
00:50:06 I didn't know you was a player like that.
00:50:08 Mind your business, nephew, all right?
00:50:11 So, yeah, don't tell anybody you actually saw that.
00:50:16 Just be quiet, keep it low, you know.
00:50:18 Pretend you Stevie Wonder. You didn't see it.
00:50:20 Okay?
00:50:21 Wow, big popper.
00:50:23 Right out here on the front yard, too, huh?
00:50:25 Go in the house, all right?
00:50:28 Hey, you do have some of that medicinal, you know, spinach you got there.
00:50:33 Yeah!
00:50:35 [indistinct chatter]
00:50:38 Where everybody at? Slim here.
00:50:48 Oh, my goodness!
00:50:50 Hey!
00:50:52 Oh, Lord have mercy, my favorite nephew.
00:50:54 Well, how's the tour going?
00:50:56 It's going good. I mean, it's rough, though.
00:50:58 Well, you know, I know.
00:51:00 It's got to be brutal out there. I've been hearing about a lot of deaths.
00:51:03 Man, it's not good for the culture, either.
00:51:05 But you know, I stay strong.
00:51:06 Me, too.
00:51:09 But look, you know, I'm not no snitch or nothing like that.
00:51:14 I'm your blood, so feel me on this.
00:51:17 You need to watch what's going on outside on the side door over there.
00:51:20 You ain't hear that from me.
00:51:22 All right, then. Well, listen, go on in there, drive us some in there.
00:51:25 All right.
00:51:26 Go say hello to everybody. The food will be ready in a minute.
00:51:28 Perfect.
00:51:29 All right, baby.
00:51:30 Ooh.
00:51:31 What do I do?
00:51:33 [laughs]
00:51:35 Go ahead.
00:51:37 Ooh! Sheesh!
00:51:40 Hey! Slim!
00:51:45 What up?
00:51:47 Who's this?
00:51:48 Oh.
00:51:49 Hi.
00:51:50 Hi.
00:51:51 I'm Letitia.
00:51:52 Letitia, my pleasure.
00:51:54 Who is this?
00:51:55 Oh, this is our cousin, Slim.
00:51:56 He's like a hot local rapper.
00:51:58 First off, regional.
00:52:00 I'm in three states now.
00:52:02 Three states? That's sexy.
00:52:04 Well, we love him all the same, especially when he's not in prison for drugs, assault,
00:52:08 and maybe a little attempted murder.
00:52:11 Man slaughter.
00:52:13 Stop telling the girl my business.
00:52:15 When I pull out the heat, I put him to sleep!
00:52:19 What's up, cuz?
00:52:20 What up?
00:52:21 What up, man?
00:52:22 Good seeing you.
00:52:24 You look good, too.
00:52:27 Sorry about that interception, man.
00:52:29 That was tough.
00:52:30 But look, I lost $1,000 on that game, so you know I'm gonna need that back, right?
00:52:34 Oh, yeah, whatever, man.
00:52:36 Who's this?
00:52:37 That's Letitia.
00:52:39 That's my date for Christmas dinner.
00:52:41 But she was actually just leaving my sister's bedroom, because why would she even be here in the first place?
00:52:47 Slim, can you give me a second?
00:52:49 Come here.
00:52:52 Just to make it clear, I won that twerk contest.
00:52:56 I'm in love.
00:52:59 No, you're not.
00:53:01 What is wrong? What are you doing?
00:53:09 What am I doing? I don't understand.
00:53:11 I bring you over here to act civilized and bougie, and you in the back turning into bass, beautiful and possibly stupid.
00:53:17 What are you doing?
00:53:19 Well, you're the one that said I was uptight.
00:53:21 Okay, I thought you needed to see that side.
00:53:23 Plus, I'm tired of your sister giving me the side eye.
00:53:25 Oh, so twerking fixes that somehow.
00:53:28 Twerking fixes everything.
00:53:30 You should try it.
00:53:31 Look, I just need for you to get through dinner, all right?
00:53:33 Then me and you, we can be done with this, because my mama, her mama, her cognitive thinking ain't working right.
00:53:38 So I don't need for her to be more stressed than what she already is.
00:53:41 Do you get it?
00:53:43 You should have this authority on the football field.
00:53:46 Oh, just get through dinner.
00:53:49 That's it.
00:53:52 Pops.
00:53:54 What are you doing, man? It's Christmas. Lay off the work.
00:53:57 Hey, man, you got to keep the place big and spanned, you know, before we start making changes.
00:54:02 Oh, man. I knew it.
00:54:05 Y'all getting a divorce?
00:54:08 Oh, boy. What's wrong with you?
00:54:11 You play football without your helmet on?
00:54:13 You got a helmet on?
00:54:14 You play football without your helmet on?
00:54:16 You got CTE?
00:54:17 No, that's not it.
00:54:19 Then what is it, man?
00:54:22 Truth is, I'm selling the place, all right?
00:54:26 You know, me and your mother, we're going to downsize.
00:54:29 It's just, we'd like to get a place down by the beach, a nice little condo.
00:54:33 We don't need this much house anymore.
00:54:35 It's too much to clean up.
00:54:36 It's just, it's too much.
00:54:38 So you're selling our family home?
00:54:40 Our, our.
00:54:42 Hey, you help put some money in on this.
00:54:44 No, boy. I was down in manholes for 25 years taking care of business, all right?
00:54:49 I didn't need none of your little football money.
00:54:51 Come on, now, Pops. You can't do that.
00:54:53 What about Riri?
00:54:54 What, what about Riri?
00:54:56 She's 29 years old, boy. She needs to take care of herself, get her own family.
00:55:00 Well, have you at least told Mama?
00:55:01 No, and you're not going either, all right?
00:55:03 Don't get sacked out here in this front yard, boy.
00:55:05 I will do it, linebacker style.
00:55:07 Pops, that ain't right.
00:55:09 Oh, okay.
00:55:10 I tell you, you ain't going to come in my house telling me about what's right and what's wrong, all right?
00:55:14 I'm the father. I raised you, boy.
00:55:17 I'm the daddy, all right?
00:55:19 Three years old.
00:55:20 I put a football in your hand. I taught you how to throw, how to tackle, all right?
00:55:24 I'm the one that told you to man up when you came home crying like a little punk.
00:55:27 Oh, Daddy, they hurt me in practice today.
00:55:29 I said, keep going. Man up.
00:55:31 And you know what?
00:55:32 Manning up means you get out of my business and mine yours.
00:55:36 Whatever, man.
00:55:37 You know, I always wondered why you treated me different than Justin.
00:55:40 I thought maybe now you would be proud of me or something.
00:55:44 You know, treat me with a little respect and talk to me like a man.
00:55:47 You can't even look me in my face.
00:55:51 [birds chirping]
00:55:53 Don't catch yourself in trouble now.
00:56:12 I told you. I'm about that life.
00:56:16 It's always the good girls, I swear.
00:56:19 You might want to slow down. That ain't no punk.
00:56:22 I ain't no punk.
00:56:24 I can see that. So where you from?
00:56:28 Originally, I'm from Norfolk, Virginia.
00:56:31 But my mom and dad split up when I was a kid.
00:56:36 And then my mom moved up north.
00:56:40 So I kind of feel like I'm a southern girl with an east coast vibe, if that makes sense.
00:56:49 You know what I mean?
00:56:50 Yeah, sure. Just hitting it.
00:56:53 Right.
00:56:55 Oof.
00:56:59 So what about you?
00:57:00 Me?
00:57:01 Yeah.
00:57:02 Honestly, I was born and raised here.
00:57:05 I mean, Mama Dee practically raised me.
00:57:08 She's my mom's sister.
00:57:10 My mom had a lot of mental health problems, and I never knew my pops.
00:57:15 What do you mean, had?
00:57:17 She died about ten years ago.
00:57:19 Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:57:20 Right after Justin.
00:57:22 Wait, Justin?
00:57:24 Oh, Justin.
00:57:27 See, he was actually the football star.
00:57:30 But once he died in that motorcycle accident, man, it just kind of sent the whole family in a spiral.
00:57:36 Jarvis left the NFL.
00:57:38 Left everything behind.
00:57:41 So that's why he's always so angry?
00:57:44 Nah.
00:57:45 He's been like that.
00:57:47 Yeah, I can see that.
00:57:51 Anyways, I like that twerking you was doing.
00:57:55 Oh, God.
00:57:58 I don't know what came over me.
00:58:04 That girl just gets under my skin, you know?
00:58:07 That's right, I know.
00:58:09 Yeah, she's just like, what is it?
00:58:13 I think she needs more vegetables.
00:58:15 Who knows?
00:58:18 Well, you like us, huh?
00:58:20 Yeah, well, you know.
00:58:21 Y'all want me out?
00:58:24 Baby girl, what are you talking about?
00:58:26 I'm going to give you guys a second and just check some emails.
00:58:31 Baby girl, come here and talk to me.
00:58:34 Now, I know I've been staying here too long, but it's our home.
00:58:39 And I feel safe here.
00:58:41 What, am I supposed to feel bad for wanting to feel safe?
00:58:43 Listen, I know when Jester died, it was hard on you.
00:58:49 And you may feel like the world was a scary place to be.
00:58:54 But you're a strong woman.
00:58:56 You come from a line of strong black women.
00:59:00 And you can find the courage to venture out on your own.
00:59:04 Baby, you deserve to have a full life.
00:59:08 You got this.
00:59:10 You and Papa, Jarvis, y'all are all I got.
00:59:14 And I feel like I need to stay here and protect y'all.
00:59:16 Now, come on now, we can always be close because we family.
00:59:20 But me and your daddy want to walk around here butt naked if we so desire.
00:59:24 And you're crapping our style, if you know what I mean.
00:59:27 Mom, please, we didn't need to do that.
00:59:29 Well, I got another go around in me.
00:59:32 Oh, Mom, please, we're not going to do this right now.
00:59:35 Well, it is if your daddy act right.
00:59:37 Right now, he got some stuff going on that ain't making me feel all warm and fuzzy.
00:59:42 Yeah, you do need to talk because he's holding some secrets.
00:59:47 Is that right?
00:59:49 Yeah, but you guys can talk about that later.
00:59:51 Come on, come on, come on, tell me what's going--
00:59:53 It's none of my business at that point.
00:59:55 Just like her daddy.
00:59:57 [MUSIC]
01:00:14 Santa, I've been good this year.
01:00:18 Make your list and check it twice.
01:00:22 I'll leave you a note right here.
01:00:26 [MUSIC]
01:00:41 So how you been?
01:00:47 I've been good.
01:00:49 Just doing my gardening videos, selling things online.
01:00:54 Making a decent living.
01:00:56 Just a simple life.
01:00:58 Yeah.
01:01:00 Well, you don't know how good you actually got it with the simple life.
01:01:04 Trust me, all these flashy lights, cameras, paparazzi, and people all up in your business.
01:01:12 It's not what it's all cracked up to be.
01:01:14 I think I'd hate it if everyone saw every mistake I made front and center, too.
01:01:18 Yeah, well, try making a ton of them.
01:01:20 Mm-hmm, because you do, don't you?
01:01:25 We all do.
01:01:28 And to be honest, I know I made a huge one when it came to you.
01:01:34 Though I don't ever admit it.
01:01:41 I'm glad you know that.
01:01:44 Come on now.
01:01:46 Just remind me of home every time I see you, Cece.
01:01:52 Just embody everything that's good about this place.
01:01:58 Honest.
01:02:00 Sweet.
01:02:02 Pure.
01:02:04 Pure and simple, right.
01:02:07 Yeah.
01:02:10 We were something, weren't we?
01:02:12 We were.
01:02:16 I've been through a lot with your crazy self, you know. Thick and thin.
01:02:20 You remember when I stole Pop's Cadillac and I couldn't get the gear out of first gear?
01:02:25 You literally ground that thing all the way to the movies.
01:02:28 Just, like, I don't even know how he got there.
01:02:31 My pops tore me up when I got back.
01:02:34 I just remember every time I think about it, I came back.
01:02:37 He opened that door, he had that big old leather belt that rolled out like toilet tissue.
01:02:41 Yeah.
01:02:43 Yeah, pops is crazy.
01:02:46 Yeah, good times.
01:02:49 Before everything got so serious.
01:02:53 Yeah, indeed it did.
01:02:56 Yeah.
01:03:08 Do you ever...
01:03:13 Do you ever think about us?
01:03:17 Every day.
01:03:26 Every single day.
01:03:30 Come here.
01:03:36 [screams]
01:03:43 Sorry, girl. That was some bomb ass weed.
01:03:46 You got a lot of swag.
01:03:49 What?
01:03:54 I bring you to my mom's house and this is what you do?
01:04:00 You know what? And I was just starting to have feelings for you.
01:04:08 I don't see her.
01:04:13 Slim, outside now!
01:04:17 Hurry up!
01:04:21 Get out of here, man.
01:04:25 What the hell is wrong with you, man? Up at my mama house?
01:04:28 Oh my God, man. I swear to God, Slim. Do you just want these hands, man? Come on.
01:04:33 Come on, man. I am not finna find my cousin. Plus, I'm way too hot for that right now.
01:04:38 But Slim, why? Ain't no my sister's your cousin Ri-Ri's bed?
01:04:43 Slim, that's weird.
01:04:45 I know, I know, I know.
01:04:47 You know my flesh is weak. Plus, she was so ready.
01:04:51 Oh really? She was ready?
01:04:52 She was and she smelled so good.
01:04:54 What did she smell like?
01:04:55 Like Chanel number five.
01:04:56 Chanel number five?
01:04:57 I was telling you about them girls that Chanel, Chanel.
01:04:59 Shut up, Slim!
01:05:02 This was your chance, huh?
01:05:04 You always wanted to take my spot.
01:05:06 Be the darling of this family.
01:05:08 Mr. Big time local. Oh, no, no, no. I'm sorry.
01:05:11 Regional rapper.
01:05:14 You just never want to let me shine.
01:05:16 Let you shine?
01:05:17 Yo, there's enough shine for all of us, man.
01:05:19 You tripping. You ain't been the same since Justin-
01:05:21 Hey, let me tell you something.
01:05:23 Don't you bring him up.
01:05:25 You understand?
01:05:26 It needs to be brought up.
01:05:28 You over here acting like you better than everybody.
01:05:30 Y'all wasn't even the same.
01:05:34 You too caught up in your own BS to even realize that as your cousin?
01:05:37 I looked up to you.
01:05:47 Really, man?
01:05:50 Yeah, man.
01:05:52 You caught your dreams, man.
01:05:54 I can only wish to be as disciplined and as focused as you.
01:05:59 I mean, even after losing your thousand dollars to my interception?
01:06:04 Sure, I lost a stack and you threw an interception, but Joe Montana threw pigs back.
01:06:09 Yeah, he did, didn't he? He had a lot of them, too.
01:06:11 A lot.
01:06:12 Yeah.
01:06:14 Oh, just for real, man. I don't get it.
01:06:18 You're amazing.
01:06:20 What's wrong with being you?
01:06:25 Thank you, cousin.
01:06:27 Anytime. Love you.
01:06:28 Love you, too.
01:06:31 Look here.
01:06:33 You gonna clean my sister's sheets.
01:06:37 Evidence gone. DNA, I swear to- I'm gonna come in there with a black light later on.
01:06:41 You better be gone.
01:06:42 Scout's on.
01:06:43 Slim, don't you ever disrespect me again.
01:06:46 You my favorite cousin. Ain't rapping now.
01:06:48 I wanna have to come back in to test them street creds, right?
01:06:52 Yeah, yeah. When the ops pull out the heat, put them to sleep.
01:06:56 All right.
01:06:57 Okay, okay. I see all your reflexes.
01:07:01 Thank God. 'Cause I thought I was gonna have to whoop your ass in front of Mama D's house.
01:07:06 It's cold out here, too.
01:07:08 NFL player thinks I'm gonna whoop his ass, but he ain't had enough.
01:07:11 [music]
01:07:28 All right. And a little rabbit food for you.
01:07:31 Oh, thank you. That's really nice.
01:07:35 Hey, hey, hey.
01:07:37 All right. There you go.
01:07:39 Not before we say grace, heathen.
01:07:43 Y'all coulda at least got it wrong.
01:07:45 Look, my bad, okay? You know I got a soft spot for thugs.
01:07:50 I'm sorry, Mama.
01:07:51 Not before we say grace, heathen.
01:07:58 Wait, where's Cece?
01:08:01 Who's Cece?
01:08:03 Look, y'all hold on.
01:08:06 Man, we hungry.
01:08:08 Let's just pray while Cece--
01:08:11 No, we can't do it.
01:08:12 I touched it.
01:08:13 Cece! Come on. Cece, please, wait.
01:08:19 Cece! Wait.
01:08:23 Cece, wait!
01:08:25 Cece!
01:08:27 Jarvis, please. Can you go back and be with your family? Okay? It's Christmas.
01:08:32 Cece.
01:08:34 I'm sorry.
01:08:36 I'm so sorry.
01:08:38 I didn't give us any closure.
01:08:41 I just left.
01:08:44 And I know I was stupid back then. I was young.
01:08:49 But I know now.
01:08:52 But that's what you're looking for, right?
01:08:54 That's what you wanted? Some high-class, bougie city girl who's gonna sleep with your cousin in your mama's house on Christmas?
01:09:05 I waited for you.
01:09:11 And I prayed that you would come back, but you were too busy chasing.
01:09:16 And to see that you already had a pot of gold at home.
01:09:22 Yeah.
01:09:25 You're right.
01:09:28 You're absolutely right. And I was, um, that's all I've been doing is searching and trying to find something that wasn't me.
01:09:41 And they're not you.
01:09:46 None of them are you.
01:09:50 I just don't believe you anymore.
01:09:53 Then don't.
01:09:55 You don't have to believe anything I'm saying right now.
01:09:59 Please.
01:10:01 Just come back and eat with us.
01:10:04 And look, we could take this part slow.
01:10:08 You can watch me. You can watch all of my actions.
01:10:13 And if you have me, maybe I can have another chance.
01:10:23 I promise that I can make this right again.
01:10:27 Travis.
01:10:30 You broke my heart.
01:10:34 I love you.
01:10:37 I love you, Cecilia.
01:10:40 And, uh, all my daddy's son.
01:10:46 Old man gotta eat.
01:10:57 Well, I'm going to come back for dinner.
01:11:00 Because I'm hungry.
01:11:07 I love you.
01:11:11 But you're not getting any.
01:11:14 You coming?
01:11:15 Fair enough. Yeah.
01:11:43 That's the way to do it.
01:11:48 Just like you.
01:11:49 This is fun.
01:11:51 [music]
01:12:15 This is good.
01:12:16 You are ignoring my question.
01:12:18 Did I fake propose? No, I for real proposed.
01:12:26 Jarvis Latavian Porter, senor.
01:12:30 Hey.
01:12:31 What's this?
01:12:33 You disgust me.
01:12:34 What?
01:12:35 What's going on? Now, what's the problem?
01:12:36 What did I do? What are you talking about?
01:12:38 Don't try to play stupid with me.
01:12:40 I've seen what you've been doing.
01:12:42 In a tight lit slide.
01:12:44 I said, "Oh."
01:12:45 Well, maybe it's the side effects of the Diagram.
01:12:48 He needs a little bit more stimulation.
01:12:51 Oh, you'll pass.
01:12:53 And it didn't.
01:12:55 It didn't.
01:12:57 Donna, come on now.
01:12:58 Put that gun down.
01:12:59 Forty years.
01:13:01 Forty years of my life.
01:13:04 Forty years.
01:13:05 I had a body like Serena.
01:13:07 A face like Kelly.
01:13:09 And I gave it all to you.
01:13:12 Forty years.
01:13:14 And look what you did to me.
01:13:16 I gave you a beautiful family.
01:13:19 You must have lost your marbles down one of the manholes.
01:13:22 Now look.
01:13:23 In front of my home, on Christmas, Jarvis, I will take you out of here.
01:13:29 Mom.
01:13:30 Oh, okay.
01:13:31 Listen, Donnie, Donnie, Donnie, Donnie, Donnie, listen.
01:13:33 Okay, now wait a minute.
01:13:35 No, no, no.
01:13:36 You tell it to God because I ain't listening to it.
01:13:39 Yes, you are.
01:13:40 Listen, I can explain.
01:13:41 I'm just saying, listen.
01:13:42 Listen.
01:13:43 You're talking about Shirley, right?
01:13:45 Shirley who?
01:13:46 She's a real estate agent, okay?
01:13:48 Most of the time you got to press your professional.
01:13:50 No, you--
01:13:51 Shut up!
01:13:52 You told me.
01:13:53 Oh, honey, honey, stay home, stay home.
01:13:56 Take care of the babies.
01:13:57 I'm a traditional man.
01:13:59 Traditional my ass, Jarvis.
01:14:01 I saw you out there.
01:14:02 I do.
01:14:04 I do.
01:14:05 Listen, listen.
01:14:07 Okay, she's a real estate agent because I needed one because I sold the house.
01:14:12 I sold the house.
01:14:14 I told him.
01:14:19 I sold the house, okay?
01:14:21 I bought us a house down by the beach, a nice little condo, I mean.
01:14:25 Donnie, baby, look, okay?
01:14:26 The papers, they're right under the tree, baby.
01:14:29 Please.
01:14:32 So you are kicking me out.
01:14:34 You're 29.
01:14:36 In two months.
01:14:39 See?
01:14:44 Go down.
01:14:46 Don't you move.
01:14:47 Don't you move.
01:14:48 No, okay.
01:14:49 Ma, put the--
01:14:51 Ma, angle downward.
01:14:54 Oh, oh, oh.
01:14:59 We say he bought me a house.
01:15:02 Oh, Jumbug, you were being all kind and considerate.
01:15:07 Thank you, baby.
01:15:09 Spend my life with you.
01:15:12 You own this all for Christmas, okay?
01:15:14 Uh-oh.
01:15:15 [screaming]
01:15:19 Y'all so doggone scary.
01:15:21 Yeah, y'all is scary.
01:15:23 Oh, my dick.
01:15:25 Pick it up for me, boo.
01:15:26 Pick it up.
01:15:27 I got it, I got it.
01:15:29 Can I see the house?
01:15:30 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:15:31 Look at that, look at that.
01:15:32 Look at that.
01:15:33 Oh, God.
01:15:35 Oh, that's sweet.
01:15:37 But you really kicking me out.
01:15:39 Yeah, I mean, yeah, sell the gun.
01:15:42 Sean, Jarvis.
01:15:44 Jarvis gonna buy you one, too.
01:15:46 Jarvis!
01:15:47 I'm trying, like, stop, stop.
01:15:49 Give me the gun, I got you.
01:15:51 Take that thing, son.
01:15:53 Take it somewhere else.
01:15:54 Oh, damn gun.
01:15:55 Jarvis, Jarvis.
01:15:57 Yes?
01:15:58 You gonna buy her a home like this, too?
01:15:59 I am.
01:16:00 [laughing]
01:16:02 Yeah, I know.
01:16:06 Well, thank you for walking me home.
01:16:09 I don't think I've slept on your mom's couch since, like, high school.
01:16:12 High school.
01:16:13 Yeah.
01:16:14 Yeah, well, home safe, so.
01:16:20 I guess I'll talk to you later.
01:16:24 Yeah.
01:16:29 You know, if you read defenses the same way you read women,
01:16:35 I'm not surprised you're retiring.
01:16:58 Uh-huh.
01:17:00 What?
01:17:02 And what did you say?
01:17:04 Girl, I mean, what's wrong with me living and being a little free?
01:17:08 I mean, who cares if they slut shame me, you know?
01:17:11 It's not just for the guys.
01:17:13 Okay, look, do you think I should do it or not?
01:17:16 Girl, you know what I say.
01:17:18 Live and let live, okay?
01:17:22 Exactly, that's why you're my friend, okay?
01:17:25 That is why I love you, girl.
01:17:26 Girl, I'll talk to you later.
01:17:28 Bye.
01:17:30 Whew.
01:17:55 Hi, Berman.
01:17:57 Um, look, um, I have something that I need to tell you.
01:18:03 You can take that job and shove it.
01:18:06 And I'm not giving you that story.
01:18:09 And I'm not even coming back.
01:18:11 And you know what?
01:18:13 You smell like dirty socks.
01:18:15 What are you going to do?
01:18:18 Where are you going to go?
01:18:20 Where am I going to go?
01:18:22 Do you know you are talking to the new head of publicity for the Slim Porter regional tour?
01:18:28 We about to glow up.
01:18:30 Glow up.
01:18:32 Look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
01:18:34 I mean, it's been real, but I'm sure you'll find somebody else.
01:18:36 Always such fun talking to you.
01:18:38 Let's do this again in the next millennium.
01:18:42 You don't even know.
01:18:44 No, not at all.
01:18:46 You're going to be huge, baby.
01:18:48 Big talk.
01:18:49 Yeah.
01:18:50 Big talk.
01:18:52 Yeah, I think we should do an RV.
01:18:56 Ooh, that's sexy.
01:18:58 I guess I lied.
01:19:08 Yeah.
01:19:10 Well, I guess this is it for now.
01:19:18 Yeah.
01:19:20 I mean, well, you know, you can always do gardening up north.
01:19:28 Since I'm about to be newly retired, I think I can learn a new hobby.
01:19:34 Are you asking me to come with you?
01:19:40 Possibly.
01:19:42 Yeah.
01:19:48 Are you going to pay for my movers?
01:19:50 Movers?
01:19:52 No, I was just, you know, you just--
01:19:54 Oh, no, I have to have things.
01:19:56 How's that go?
01:19:57 Oh, you're going to give me a drawer.
01:19:59 Yeah, one drawer at a time.
01:20:00 I was just--
01:20:01 You know what?
01:20:03 Yes.
01:20:05 I will come with you.
01:20:07 Well, after what we did last night, I kind of already did.
01:20:14 You are so confident.
01:20:18 I know.
01:20:21 Oh, you're going to make me a double liar.
01:20:24 Uh-huh, double liar.
01:20:26 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:20:29 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:20:32 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:20:36 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:20:39 And I will never take for granted The way you took my hand and
01:20:45 Led me along the path where I should be So I put you first, you told me that's what
01:20:53 you're worth I know nothing compares to your ways
01:20:57 So for that I'll trust and obey, yeah, yeah, yeah, hey
01:21:03 Your love is so ample in my life And I know this, I know this because
01:21:11 I am surrounded by all the people I love There's no reason to cry 'cause
01:21:19 I know that you will hold us Oh, I feel you on this Christmas
01:21:31 I feel you, hey Feel you on this Christmas
01:21:39 I feel you, hey
01:21:43 [Music]