"Ghosts" has people laughing themselves to death. Welcome to MsMojo, and today we’re looking at the most hilarious moments and episodes in CBS’s “Ghosts”.
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00:00 "I don't think I can do this. It's looking right at me."
00:02 "Babe, he's not looking at you. His eyes are a little withered husk."
00:05 Welcome to Ms. Mojo,
00:07 and today we're looking at the most hilarious moments and episodes in CBS's Ghosts.
00:11 "The ghosts are sort of my thing."
00:12 "Oh, because you can see and hear them. Yeah, yeah, way to rub that in my face again."
00:16 Number 10. Sam's mom.
00:20 "What's a cheese hurricane?"
00:22 "It's what made my heart explode."
00:24 "Might have to get that."
00:25 "Oh."
00:25 Years before the show begins, Sam's mom ends up the victim of a nasty shellfish allergy,
00:31 and Sam and Jay leave the manor to find out if she became a ghost.
00:34 "But apparently nothing I ever do will be good enough for you, mom."
00:37 "Uh, she calls me mom. It's like bro, it's a TikTok thing."
00:40 She did, but they don't have the easiest relationship.
00:44 Cue Sam's mom deciding that she needs to reconcile with her daughter in order to get sucked off,
00:48 aka move on to the next stage of the afterlife.
00:52 "So you're saying if I have some kind of a breakthrough with my daughter,
00:55 I could finally get out of this hellhole?"
00:58 While Jay gorges himself on Mexico-adjacent food,
01:01 Sam and Cheryl bicker over Sam's career and how Cheryl is being disingenuous.
01:06 The real comedy comes from the waiter repeatedly thinking that Sam's tirades
01:10 against her mother are actually directed at Jay.
01:12 "You didn't mean anything you just said."
01:15 "What's happening?"
01:16 "I can't believe you would say all of those things just to get sucked off."
01:19 "Busted."
01:23 Number 9. Yelp.
01:24 "Let me tell you something about your polite Midwesterners there.
01:27 They can be very tricky, and this is 18 years in the travel agency game talking."
01:31 By season 2, the B&B is open and has its first guests, Tom and Debbie,
01:36 but Pete determines that they're not being totally honest.
01:39 Though Sam and Jay initially want to give the guests privacy,
01:42 curiosity wins out, and she sends the ghosts to spy on them.
01:46 "I found Tom and Debbie's Yelp profile."
01:48 "Geez, look at these reviews. These people are vicious."
01:52 They soon find out that Tom and Debbie are impossible to please,
01:55 and notorious Yelp reviewers.
01:57 But the best moment is when Sam reveals she's been spying on them,
02:01 and it comes out they don't even know their Yelp profile is public.
02:04 "No, we can see your names and pictures."
02:08 "No, no, that is what we see on our computer."
02:13 They think they've been leaving anonymous reviews the entire time,
02:17 and resolve to go into hiding.
02:19 "Oh my God. Oh my God, we went after everyone."
02:22 "Oh no, we tore apart your sister's shrimp shack."
02:24 "This is the nightmare, we have to move."
02:27 Number 8. Thor's best friend.
02:29 "See, he's been doing this like an hour. I can't sleep like this."
02:31 "Have you tried waking him up?"
02:33 "I'm not gonna do that. He could split me in two with his axe."
02:35 Sam persuades the ghosts to start rooming together
02:38 so that there are enough free rooms for the guests.
02:41 This leads to chaos, though, as nobody wants to bunk with Thor,
02:44 who has been having night terrors for centuries.
02:47 "In dream, Thor in vast plane with best friend Oscar."
02:52 "So I'm in a vast plane with my friend Oscar? He's Norwegian?"
02:58 Jay has the idea to bring in a therapist and persuade Thor
03:02 to go to ghost therapy via Sam, leading to some bizarre interactions.
03:06 We discover that Thor is haunted by dreams of the brutal murder
03:09 of his dearest friend at his own hands.
03:12 "Thor so hungry I... I even eat his tail."
03:16 "Sorry, did you say tail?"
03:18 "What's so strange? Who's got a squirrel?"
03:22 "What?"
03:23 "A squirrel!"
03:24 And then we discover that his friend was, in fact, a squirrel eaten for food.
03:28 Alberto wants to talk to the therapist about some strange dreams
03:31 she's been having about Jason Momoa, too.
03:34 "Go on, ask her."
03:35 "What I'm wondering is, is there a way that I could make
03:41 these dreams happen more often?"
03:43 Number 7. The ghost trap.
03:44 "The Ghost Trap 2000. I ordered it on the internet from a Latvian company
03:51 that specializes in ghost hunting equipment."
03:53 Sam and Jay briefly employ Freddy to help them with the business,
03:57 only for him to set up a security camera that captures evidence of the paranormal.
04:01 Convinced the house has ghosts, he buys a ghost trap and sets it up in the kitchen,
04:06 with an Oreo as ghost bait.
04:07 "It does look rather scrumptious, though. I wouldn't mind taking a little whiff."
04:11 "Hmm, yes, a whiff would be divine, but one would need to get very close
04:15 to properly smell the cookie."
04:16 Remarkably, the Oreo works, with the ghosts manipulating Thorfinn into grabbing it,
04:21 getting him stuck in the trap.
04:23 Panic ensues, and flour gets pulled inside, too.
04:26 "Oh my God, you guys! Thor's stuck in a ghost trap!"
04:30 "Wait for it."
04:30 "Oh my God! I'm in here with him!"
04:33 Only when Jay determines that it'll break if it's overloaded with three ghosts
04:37 are they able to be freed,
04:38 with Pete escaping yet another attempt from Thor and flour to make him their third.
04:42 Number 6. Alberta's Biggest Fan
04:49 "I'm actually the head curator of the Alberta Haynes Museum in Altoona, Pennsylvania."
04:53 A historian named Todd introduces himself to Sam and Jay.
04:57 He's opened a museum dedicated to Alberta and solving her murder,
05:00 and visits the house to conduct research.
05:03 Slowly but surely, we learn that Todd's interest in Alberta may not be entirely healthy.
05:08 "Well, uh, actually, the museum is in my garage."
05:11 "Ah, as all the best museums are, technically it's my mom's garage."
05:16 This amuses Isaac to no end,
05:18 since he spent the whole episode jealous that Alberta had a museum and he didn't.
05:22 When Todd pulls out a toenail, everybody is horrified.
05:26 "Sorry, what am I looking at here, Todd?"
05:28 "It's Alberta's toenail."
05:29 "Oh, hell no!"
05:33 The antique toenail even makes his giant back tattoo of Alberta look slightly more normal.
05:38 Best, Todd is a recurring character who keeps bringing his weirdness back to Woodstone.
05:44 "Oh, my God!"
05:47 Number 5. Nancy
05:48 "So, there were a lot of rumors going around today about how I didn't have a girlfriend,
05:53 and about how maybe I just made that up in a blind, sweaty panic, but here she is, in the flesh."
05:58 "The rotting flesh?"
06:00 When the house discovers Pete's crush on Alberta,
06:02 he tries to play it cool by convincing Nancy,
06:04 one of the cholera pit ghosts, to pretend to be his girlfriend,
06:07 in exchange for her living upstairs.
06:09 "He came downstairs trolling for sex."
06:12 "Okay, she's a joker, loves to tell jokes.
06:16 It's actually one of the things I like about her."
06:18 Suffice it to say, nobody believes in Pete and Nancy,
06:21 but she doesn't want to go back down to the basement, so he's stuck with her.
06:25 She's infuriating, forcing him to sleep on the floor,
06:28 and when Pete's room is given up for a guest, demanding he gets them a better one.
06:32 "You start standing up for yourself and get our room back, or I will tell everyone
06:38 our relationship is fake and that you have a huge crush on Alberta."
06:42 But she eventually forces him to stand up for himself and dump her,
06:46 announcing that she's going back to the basement to keep talking about
06:49 the water heater for eternity while keeping their lie intact.
06:52 "I'm going back down to the basement,
06:54 'cause I just broke up with my very real boyfriend,
06:59 and also 'cause you all suck and I'd rather be with the cholera pit people."
07:05 Number 4. Sass's flirting
07:07 "I'm Lenape and I've been here since the 1500s."
07:10 "Lenape? I actually know a-"
07:12 "Who are you talking to?"
07:14 "I was just practicing for our meeting."
07:18 Sam gets a freelance job writing a piece about flower for the Ulster County Review,
07:22 but while there, she encounters another Lenape ghost, Sheiky.
07:26 It turns out that Sass had a huge crush on Sheiky when they were alive,
07:29 but he was never brave enough to make a move.
07:32 "Well, I was in love with her and I thought she was in love with me,
07:35 so I killed a deer and brought it to her family."
07:37 "Sure."
07:38 "And then I never heard from her again."
07:39 With Jay's help, Sam begins passing messages between Sass and Sheiky,
07:43 as Sass tries to strike up a long-distance romance.
07:46 "Sup? Cool you're still around, Sheiky. Would love to hear the haps sometime. Maybe."
07:51 "That's- that's it."
07:54 Jay tells Sass to play it cool, and they send obscure one-word responses back and forth
07:59 while the paper editor is baffled at Sam's appearances.
08:02 Shocking nobody, Sass and Sheiky are not endgame.
08:06 "She had a response. Hey."
08:09 "Hey? That's it? Oh, she's good."
08:12 Early on, we're introduced to the trio of British soldiers
08:21 who live in the derelict old shed on the property.
08:24 Clearly, there's a spark between the leader Nigel and Isaac,
08:27 somewhat impeded by the fact that Isaac accidentally killed Nigel.
08:31 While this is ongoing, Jay discovers that Pete loves Dungeons and Dragons,
08:35 and convinces Sam to be an intermediary so they can play together.
08:39 "Are you telling me the cowardly sniper that took my life was you?"
08:43 "That was not at all my intention."
08:46 When Isaac reveals to Nigel that he was his murderer,
08:49 the dispute gets out of hand, and they need a way to resolve it.
08:52 "If we can't fight, then how the hell do we resolve this invasion?"
08:55 "If only there was some way to simulate actual combat."
08:59 "What? Dammit, I may have the solution."
09:06 That's how we get to the American Revolution being renegotiated over Dungeons and Dragons,
09:11 much to Sam's dismay and Nigel and Isaac's boredom.
09:14 "Oh, Isaac and the British commander are making up."
09:17 "Oh, that's nice. What did Isaac do?"
09:19 "He murdered him."
09:20 Number 2. Trevor the Catfish
09:22 "He used the kitchen iPad. I knew we needed a better password than 1234."
09:26 "You're right, I should have anticipated a ghost catfishing my sister."
09:30 "Wait."
09:30 When Jay's sister Bela shows up at the B&B,
09:33 Sam thinks they might finally have a chance to bond,
09:35 only to discover that Bela has been catfished for days by none other than Trevor.
09:40 Using his ghost power, Trevor has signed up to a dating app on the Arendakers iPad,
09:44 and matched with Bela.
09:46 "You didn't think I could find a real man again,
09:48 so you created a fake one to flirt with me and compliment my smile."
09:52 "I really meant that."
09:53 They try to explain it, but in the process, Bela finds the iPad and resolves that Jay
09:58 must have been talking to her to try to make her feel better from her recent breakup.
10:01 In the end, though, they manage to prove to Bela that ghosts exist,
10:05 Sam can communicate with them, and that Trevor is the one responsible.
10:08 "And like, could a ghost do it with a human? No, you know what, I'm not there yet."
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10:27 Number 1. Going Down
10:30 "He bounced off the vault door."
10:32 "A surface that's impenetrable to ghosts? I love it when the mythology gets expanded."
10:37 A hidden vault is discovered underneath the house. After finding out that the door is ghost-proof,
10:42 Hedy works out the combination, and they find inside Elias Woodstone, Hedy's philandering
10:48 husband. He died down there, and until the door opened, was unable to escape.
10:53 Upon finding out that his home is becoming a B&B, he resolves to use his ghost power,
10:57 which makes everyone he walks through extremely amorous, to ruin the business.
11:02 "You two are looking good. Very good."
11:05 "Jay? What's going on?"
11:09 It's only when his evil plan comes to light that we're given another piece of the ghost lore.
11:13 Hell exists, and you can be sent to it. Of course, they call this "Going Down."
11:18 "Oh my God! He just went down on us."
11:28 Let us know in the comments which ghost is your favorite.
11:30 "Solving my murder doesn't even make the list."
11:32 Do you agree with our picks? Check out this other recent clip from Ms. Mojo.
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